ask-sweater-vamp

[ask-sweater-vamp]

look i don’t know how reliable a source of information this website is but the idea that you can easily get rid of vampires in your home just by telling them they’re not welcome anymore is extremely funny to me

[ask-sweater-vamp]

vampire headcanons?

[ask-sweater-vamp]

fuck it a vampire with a gun

[ask-sweater-vamp]

I know I said I’d take better care of myself, but… 

It looks like I wasn’t careful enough again… What should I do…?

[ask-sweater-vamp]

the real reason vampires and ghosts wear those floor length capes and robes is so they can hide the heelies they wear at all times

[ask-sweater-vamp]

hey guys, can you like or reblog this if you are an ask blog. I just want to follow some people, i feel like im not up to date who is active and who is new here etc.

[ask-sweater-vamp]

Fun fact about Matthew: He has a natural talent for hypnosis, usually using it to erase memories. His eyes aren’t the only method he has to hypnotize, either, but he has far less control over the other method due to its potency. 

[ask-sweater-vamp]

I know I said I’d take better care of myself, but... 

It looks like I wasn’t careful enough again... What should I do...?

[ask-sweater-vamp]

((Always remember to take care of your fangs!))

[ask-sweater-vamp]

dearest sweater vampire, what is the best kind of sweater to have? i see you've found a very cute fluffy one recently, but do you have any other favs aside from that?

“Oh, there are so many good ones! Ones with fluffy linings are probably the best, but there are so many nice styles out there~” 

“Oh! And I can’t forget how nice hoodies can be, too! Nice big pockets, tight knits, and the strings are fun to play with. They might not be super fashionable, but they’re perfect comfortable casual wear when it’s just a little chilly!” 

[ask-sweater-vamp]

((GIVE! ME! MORE! FANTASY! MATTHEW!))

[ask-sweater-vamp]

does "put some clothes on" count as a wish?

“Eh, whatever. If it gets me outta this.” 

“Always gotta do it the hard way, sheesh.” 

[ask-sweater-vamp]

((Eh....what was I drawing again? I think the idea was to catch him out somewhere at night, but I lost focus at some point. Those vampires sure are mesmerizing.))

[ask-sweater-vamp]

I was going to rewatch 1931 Dracula again tonight and just as I turned it on a BAT started flying around at my window and wouldn’t go away and I’ve never seen a bat at my house before and let me tell you I’ve been so gay touched starved this quarantine I was about ready to risk letting a wild bat in my room if it meant it could possibly be one tall, Sexy vampire

[ask-sweater-vamp]

Thinking abt immortality and how meticulously you’d have to keep track of all of your shit so some nosy historian didnt spot your old journal or coat or copy of a book and call an infuriating time-based finders keepers

“It’s two hundred years old” they say. “It’s essentially public property” they say. It’s a letter you sent to your friend and it’s in a museum now and you’re screaming

[ask-sweater-vamp]

what is it about vampires that is “sexy” really? is it the fangs? the immortality? the period specific clothing? all signs point to yes

[ask-sweater-vamp]

I was going to rewatch 1931 Dracula again tonight and just as I turned it on a BAT started flying around at my window and wouldn’t go away and I’ve never seen a bat at my house before and let me tell you I’ve been so gay touched starved this quarantine I was about ready to risk letting a wild bat in my room if it meant it could possibly be one tall, Sexy vampire