#tortures the man by forcing him into a place thats all about understanding social cues and behavior | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

stump-not-found · 16 hours ago

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Sorry if this has already been answered, but does Ford celebrate his birthday? I know its pretty hard to keep track of time when its ... nonlinear in the multiverse but I feel like Bill would know. And to ford every once and a while Bill demands his attention and he comes back to the pyramid to the wildest (worst) surprise party. The cake is human skin, candles are those really long wisdom teeth. Ford hates it.

i'll call out that a main plot point of chapter 4 is the fact bill gets ford presents on his b-day so yah its a regular thing, but they celebrate the day after his b-day

first birthday together bill probably does the skin cake thing but ford just rolls his eyes and sighs . bill almost fucking shoots himself after that response

#stump asks #gf theseus’ guide #sorry man your skin thing is lame . its tacky .#i thought you were more evil than that . guess you're just a cartoon villain loser . whatever #can't believe i was having mental breakdowns because of you . when youre LAME . youre a LOSER . no one will EVER LOVE YOU . LOSER . IDIOT #i like my brothers suggestion that sometimes he takes ford out to a fancy restaurant #tortures the man by forcing him into a place thats all about understanding social cues and behavior #now htaths the REAL fucked up shit #bill has to learn and grow as a person . and find more subtle means of harassing the dude . marriage is beautiful #otherwise i imagine there's just a year long game the crew plays where someone has to get the most embarrassing photo of ford possible #and they get the albertsons sheet cake with that picture printed out on it #thats my personal belief . this is just fanfiction though all birthday beliefs are valid here go nuts folks #maybe they get an ice cream cake that bleeds when you cut into it i dont know #ford is always made to guess where the blood comes from . no matter how obscure the source he somehow always fucking knows . what a guy #the blood thing is a CANON ford trait alright dont nobody come to me saying bill did that to him #brother was already ranking blood flavor profiles okay . jesus #number 1 ford pines was already Like That defender . bill fucking wishes he could have corrupted that mind . he fucking WISHES #okay ill stop rambling ty for the ask & food for thought #hearts

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