#primarily because I'm in the process of moving!

[ohmypawsandwhiskers]

Thirsty for Updates Thursday

Also know as Paws forgot another WIP Wednesday

Snippet:  And that ignited the fury in his blood, white hot like a bolt of lightening. The cruelty of allowing someone a taste of normalcy only to rip it away for little to no reason.

No, he would allow it no more. In that silence of the eleventh hour, he took her clammy hand in his and vowed to free them all, starting with the enigma that was Nehna. He regarded the shivering figure as pale moonlight, drenched in rosy and golden tones from the stained glass windows, painted her shiny visage in heavenly hues. In spite of the sweat and fatigue, she appeared regal- bathed in colors she should be allowed to wear regularly, as she would bring light to those that needed it most. Solas took up the cloth beside him and dabbed away the remaining sweat, making a mental note to have a bath drawn for her in the morning.  It surprised him, almost as much as it did Mythal, how much he had come to care for the woman in front of him. How much the thought of losing her had pained him. And it softened his heart realizing that she had sought out his help, in spite of everything. She still put faith in him, despite his own omitted truth behind his initial reasons in helping her. Solas picked up her hand once more and made a silent vow that he would never let such a thing come to pass from that point forward. Nehna deserved nothing but openness and honesty, and that is what she would receive from him. Such a presence in this world needed to be cherished, and anything she asked of him, he resolved to do.  Maybe it was the lack of sleep clouding his mind- he certainly never went out of his way for anyone. With Mythal, he felt indebted to her for finding him and taking him under her wing after the loss of his parents. This- this was different. His heart and mind felt pulled into Nehna’s gravity. She was the celestial being that compelled him to orbit her. 

To check out Nehna’s story, check out If It’s True on AO3 here! Banner Art by @singuminklarity​

[taco-rambles]

DC XDP prompt: Danny falls out of a portal literally into Batmans arms in a JL meeting.

Feel free to play with this. I probably will write more, but I'm STUCK and don't know how to write the JL or anyone else for that matter.

XXX

The Justice League meeting had gone very well. For once there were no major crisis from anyone attending, and all of the regular members of the league were in attendance. A few of the second row hero’s had begged off for one reason or another, but nothing that was a threat of any real kind.

Batman was wary, and on edge as the meeting wrapped up. It was never this simple, it just couldn’t be. There was always some kind of threat to keep an eye on, but the worst thing that had come up during the meeting were routine security updates.

No one else seemed to be on edge from the far too calm, routine meeting, and Bruce had just about convinced himself that it was really just one of those meetings where nothing outrageous would happen. It was ideal even…

Then the alarms went off, in the specific modulation that indicated a magical incursion.

Batman wasn’t the only one who’s hands went to weapons when the portal materialized above the meeting room table only a moment after the alarm went off. Swirling lazarus green had him ready for the fight even as the rest of the league went into defensive positions around the incursion.

“What…” Flash started to ask about a minute later when nothing had happened yet, the alarms still blaring.

That’s when something came flying out of the portal, at speed, back first.

Batman had a split second to decide to attack… or not. A split second to try to process the impressions and decide if this was an attack.

The portal closed as he cradled the small body that had crashed into his arms, the alarms silencing a moment later as the rest of the league tried to catch up, all of them wondering if this was some new threat.

Batman looked down at the child in his arms, a boy in his mid teens and small for his age, with white hair framing a frighteningly familiar looking face, gently pointed ears, and fangs in a mouth that gasped for breath against pain. The eyes were closed, twisted tight as the child clutched at his chest and belly, holding together severed flesh that leaked lazarus green blood from a clinical and too regular wound. Fingers tipped with small claws spasmed, tears coming from closed eyes.

“Batman?” Wonder Woman asked, Diana’s voice filled with concern as Bruce wrapped the child in his arms and stood up from where he had been knocked on his ass catching said child.

“Call down to medical. Severely wounded unknown,” he snapped, moving towards the door, only to stop as there was a flash of light in his arms, and the child suddenly gained a solid weight that was closer to human. The blood dripping from passed out hands was now brilliant red, fingertips blunt with chewed nails, the boy’s skin going from pale white to… a healthier tone.

Bruce consciously stopped cataloging his observations then, swiftly making his way to medical. Whatever this boy was, whether he intended to tug at Batman’s heart the way he was or not, was severely wounded and needed medical attention immediately.

He could process it all, and wonder why a child looking exactly like Damian Wayne had been thrown into his arms through a lazarus portal later.

XXXXX

An hour later, after a discreet call to his youngest just to be sure, Bruce watched the now sedated child in the medical cot, working on trying to face match the databases and find out if the child came from earth or not.

The searches primarily turned up Damian Wayne. Bruce knew for certain this child was not his son, but he was also running a DNA analysis because this Might be his son. It made a disheartening amount of sense for this boy to be another version of Damien, perhaps from another dimension, or some manner of clone, or perhaps Talia had simply hidden another child of his away… Bruce needed to narrow down the possibilities, to find the truth.

Of course, it was equally possible that this boy was some manner of mimic, taking on a form that would ensure his safety in unknown environment, a shape shifter intentionally injuring himself in order to infiltrate the Watchtower. Though that last theory didn’t make sense for a number of reasons. Most shape shifters would be secure enough in their abilities to simply try to mimic someone who already had access to the watch tower, to say nothing of the boy’s dramatic entrance.

Batman wasn’t thinking logically. Bruce couldn’t simply leave the boy here though. Not until he knew more, everything relevant by preference. The thought that this might be his son in any way was enough to keep him near, but he could already tell he was compromised.

He had already informed Diana and Clark, and both of them had agreed that he should stay nearby until they had the situation sorted out.

Bruce had been stuck in a circular though pattern for about fifteen minutes when a green form came into the room, J’onn looking at him calmly.

“Can you find anything out?” Batman asked without preamble, unable to bring himself to observe polite pleasantries when he was so unsettled.

“Nothing beyond surface thoughts. The boy’s mind is static and pain of the emotional kind,” J’onn stated after a moment.

Batman nodded, accepting the answer. J’onn’s abilities weren’t always the answer to everything, could indeed often be a crutch that led to the wrong answers. But they could also give the Justice League a starting point often enough.

“You should rest friend. It is unlikely that the boy will awaken soon…” J’onn cut himself off with a quiet look at the boy. “Or not. He’s coming around.”

Batman watched as the child’s eyes blinked open, drowsy expression turning to the two heros without much recognition. Bruce didn’t let himself react, kept himself in a calm pose even as his mind once more went into overdrive.

The boy had blue eyes, not green like Damian's.

[coffeeman777]

This is for all of my follwers/mutuals who are Christians:

I want to preface this by saying that what I'm about to share with you is only to ask you for prayer. I don't want favors, and I'm not looking for a handout. We need God to open a door for us, and so I beg you, please pray for us.

We moved to Florida coming on three years ago. We came here primarily because we believed God was leading us here. In various ways, we believed God confirmed His will for us, and so I left a great job and we sold a great house to move here. We have been opposed in every way imaginable since.

Days after moving down, Lisa and I were in a terrible car accident that we only walked away from by God's grace. We were rear-ended by an Edible Arrangements delivery truck on the highway, and Lisa sustained significant injuries that are still causing us major problems. The franchise owner was operating their delivery vehicle without insurance, and I've learned since that they shut down their Edible Arrangements franchise and took off, leaving us holding the bag.

I've been in armed security since I got out of the Marines, and in New Hampshire, that was enough to take care of myself and my family. But it isn't in Florida. The pay for most armed security gigs here is super low, and I haven't been able to find work comparable to what I had in New Hampshire. So I tried to change courses.

I earned my personal trainer certification through the National Academy of Sports Medicine, but couldn't make it as a trainer. I made the attempt to go back to college and get a degree and certification as a paramedic, but after months of jumping through hoops, that fell through. I went back to New Hampshire by myself and spent six months away from my family to try to earn enough money working both my old job and a second job, but that plan didn't work because hours were limited with both gigs, and each job wanted me to work overlapping hours; I couldn't make the schedules line up.

My incredibly generous parents-in-law offered to pay our bills so that I could come back to Florida and try a new plan. I went to a CDL training course to get into trucking. After the very long and very expensive process, I finally got my CDL-A. While I was working on that, a random disagreement between my health insurance company and the medical supplier that issued me my cpap (I have sleep apnea) resulted in the supplier demanding that I give them the machine back. It took from middle February to early June for me to get another cpap. The end result is that, as of today, I have just under two months of cpap usage data. I discovered only after getting my CDL that no trucking company will hire me with less than 90 days of cpap usage data.

I've been pre-hired and subsequently turned away from three different trucking companies since I got my CDL over the cpap nonsense (one of which told me that what I had for cpap usage was fine, only to tell me on the first day of orientation that it actually wasn't fine, and they had to let me go). It's going to be another month before I can get started with any trucking company, and I'm concerned that I'll have to go to refresher training, which will only increase the months of time I'll have to spend as a trainee with whatever company hires me, which means it will be a long time before I make enough money to survive.

My in-laws can't continue paying our bills, and although I've had a half dozen low paying jobs in this time just to be bringing in something, now I'm struggling to get anything. I've applied to more jobs than I can remember, and I can't get any traction. Not even Domino's will call me back. Our backs are up against a wall.

My first payment for the money I borrowed to pay for CDL school was due almost a month ago, and I haven't been able to pay it (I had to get financing because my GI Bill expired and the VA ignored my request for an extension). Rent is almost 2k a month. We can't afford groceries (we've been living off of food pantries).

I don't know what to do. I've been crying out to God for an open door, but so far nothing has happened. My in-laws are just about tapped out, and in my mind, the only thing worse than wrecking my own family financially is dragging them down with me.

Please pray for us. Please pray for God to give us an open door, or some understanding of what to do next. I know God didn't bring us here to let us die. God is good, and God keeps His promises. God is perfect, and righteous, and just in all His ways. God has promised that He will turn about all things for the good of them that love Him. I know God has not abandoned us, and that when the time is right, God will make a way.

I say again, I am not looking for favors or begging for money. I know all of us are really going through it right now. All I want from you is prayer. Please pray intensely for us.

Thanks, I love you all.

[librarycards]

do you have any advice for trying to build/find a community? i’m autistic with pretty severe social anxiety and haven’t had friends since grade 5 (i’m 29 now). i don’t work atm and didn’t go to college due to ‘mental illness’ or whatever. i’m really clueless about how to find a support system or even make a friend but it sure would be beneficial right now i think

sure! a great way to start is to get on some of your local facebook pages, or even nextdoor - it can be a shitty place for neighborhood karens, but at least my local page has people talking about free stuff they're leaving on the curb, someone whose grandma needs a ride, a bake sale at the school, and even meetups dependent on age/interest/etc.

some more ideas, starting w the obligatory: GO TO THE LIBRARY! they have so much centralized info there. there is probably a book club, there is probably some kind of volunteer sign-up sheet. there are probably bored librarians who can help you find other stuff. at least in my area, there are also fairly regular non-university-affiliated things (i live in a college town) at local bars, cafes, and art spaces/studios - check to see if there are any local IG pages posting about these events. that's how i found out about a bunch of mine. libraries have events, too, as do local bookstores, and they're almost always free.

the suggestions i'm throwing out all have basically the same goal: mix with people you haven't met before. building bonds takes time, and the process only starts when you and someone else say hello to one another. you don't have to be besties ever. you don't necessarily have to stay close. but knowing one person who maybe likes the same book as you, or shares some other interest, leads to more people, and soon you know someone who has a car, someone who has an extra ironing board, someone who can host a get-together in their yard because everyone else is a renter. support systems aren't found. they're not easy or inevitable. they're built through collective engagement and practice! and they start, generally, by happenstance, when people put themselves in each others' way.

when i moved here alone in 2020, i met some of my now-closest friends not primarily through grad school events (which didn't happen bc of lockdowns and such) but through going to the park and saying hi outdoors; stocking food in our local free fridges, and meeting tinder-friend dates masked, 6 ft apart in random public places. we kept doing that and our relationships strengthened, as they do. these days, i meet people through the friends i have - through shared classes back when i was in coursework, through organizing/union stuff and volunteering, through the occasional social event i just kinda show up at and hope for the best. there's a degree of inertia to this stuff - it gets smoother the more you do it!

you are *NOT* the only person around you who needs a friend. i promise. people are really lonely and often scared to admit it, and this is a great time to connect with people who also feel the urgency of community + anxiety around making it happen.

[ellaenchanting]

Hello, I have a new sub (he’s new to all kink, including hypnosis) who is definitely experiencing hypnoamory.

I keep trying to explain to him that hypnoamory is not safe but I don’t fully understand the risks myself so it’s difficult to explain them to him.

I can’t find much online and you have amazing insights and I’m hoping you can help explain it to me, so I can explain it to him?

Thank you, in advance.

-A

Reader's follow up message for context:

"A here, I asked about the hypnoamory. It seems almost like he’s falling in love, and it’s been obscenely fast.

He keeps mentioning (undefined) feelings, and is expressing them strongly. Wanting to constantly be with me, even if it means breaking his own rules of not being on a Zoom call while his sister (his roommate) is around. (I nipped that in the bud and said I didn’t consent to that.)

When I suggest caution, and bring up, hypnoamory, it’s quite hard to explain to him why it’s risky when I don’t fully know myself.

(I’ll admit, some of these (undefined) feelings are reciprocated, and that also worries me, because how can I take care of him, if I’m also dealing with it.)”

Answer:

Hi anon!

Thank you so much for this question! I'm really excited to answer it. Not only do I (apparently) have lots of thoughts here, I'm really excited to hear about what others have to say on this topic. Hopefully we’ll create some good discussion about hypnosis and love and consent/safety- I know I’m really curious what people with different experiences have to say about this!

ON HYPNOSIS AND LOVE

For this response, I’m going to assume “hypnoamory” means love or attachment that is created primarily or largely through hypnosis play. I know someone on one of my Discords defined “hypnoamory” as a “speed run to intimacy”- another definition that can really be fitting. It makes sense to be concerned about a partner who seems to be feeling too much or moving too fast. How do you manage a relationship with someone who seems to feel so much so fast?

So- to back WAY up: We tend to think of love as this magical, enigmatic thing that just happens to us, but there's actually a fair amount of research on variables that may lead to greater connection and even love. There’s no one formula that applies to all people, but there are some actions that seem to make love more likely. Sex is one- a good orgasm involves dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin and these are all neurochemicals linked with attachment. Of course, people often HAVE sex to express their love so the attachment is already there but it's also seemingly common for people having casual sex to fall for one another.

Emotional intimacy is another common precursor to love. You may have seen this list of 36 "questions that lead to love" floating around (https://www.verywellmind.com/unpacking-the-36-questions-that-lead-to-love-8559179) . This list of questions works (when it works) because it speeds up the natural process by which people build intimacy. It invites sharing and listening and vulnerability and trust. Those same things will happen naturally over time in a healthy relationship, using the questions is just designed to speed that process up.

These ideas may be a good framework to start thinking about hypnoamory. Hypnokink play is often full of things that are known "love triggers" for many people- things that would naturally make them more likely to bond or even fall in love. Hypnosis itself seems to release some of the same neurotransmitters associated with love- dopamine, GABA, serotonin.* There's often sexual arousal and sex/orgasms that make people feel good. Happy calm feelings. Happy safe/cared for feelings. There's novelty and learning. There's communication and trust. There's engaging in an activity both people enjoy. There can be feelings of danger, leading to physical arousal and then emotional/sexual arousal. There's dependence. There’s intimacy. In fact, the whole process of hypnotizing someone is giving them the illusion that you're in their brain. What could be more intimate than that?

Then there's the kink aspect. Pretend someone has gone through their life with this secret, hidden desire. It’s something they dare not talk to anyone about for fear that they’ll be mocked or shamed. No one else in the world seems to get their kink. They don't even know if the thing they want is POSSIBLE.

Then, one day they meet a person who DOES get it. Not only does this person get it, they seem to want the same things. And, better yet, not only does this person have similar fantasies, they actually want to DO the thing. With YOU.

How could you not fall in love?

Here's a personal anecdote:

When I fell in love with my wife, it happened slowly and gently. We dated, we got to know each other, we hung out more and more, and then I turned around about a year later and I was in love. I was like a dropped feather- slowly drifting downwards until I gently landed on the ground. Happily and safely eased into love.

I fell for my first hypnokink partner like a rock falls from a cliff. It FELT like those teenage romances from books and movies- Romeo and Juliet, Buffy, Titanic- landing with a big "thump" of feeling and obsession. I was well into adulthood when it happened, fortunately, so I didn't do anything too disruptive or embarrassing with it. I was in a situation where I could talk it through. But- I remember being able to finally understand how people in love could do crazy things. It DID feel a bit like an addiction. I was going about my life and then- completely knocked on my ass. Nothing I had done before prepared me.

All of this is to say- hypnoamory definitely exists. It doesn't happen all the time** but in my experience it happens frequently. And, just like love "caused" by sex or answering the 36 questions or, say, surviving a disaster together, I wouldn't say hypnoamory love is inauthentic. In fact, I don’t think love CAN be inauthentic. We feel what we feel. What I WOULD say, though, is that most people caught up in that initial high are experiencing a particular stage of love called "infatuation". (Around the community you may also hear the term “new relationship energy” or “nre”- it's basically infatuation but make it poly). The infatuation is fun but can also be a cause for caution.

People contrast infatuation*** with "real love" but IMHO that’s short sighted. For many people, infatuation is actually the first stage OF being in love. When someone’s infatuated, attraction feels almost overwhelming. Your whole neurochemistry (dopamine, norepinephrine, phenylephrine) is driving you to spend more and more time with the person you love. You think obsessively about the other person. You feel bad when they're not around. It feels a bit like an addiction.

Strong infatuation actually resembles being high in some ways. Like when you’re high, your amygdala isn't quite working right and thus your judgment can be impaired. This is the phase where people can sometimes feel extra compelled towards bad decisions. They may do things like move in with someone they just met, leave a long-established relationship for someone new and hot, or stop doing things to take care of themselves****. They may neglect other important parts of their life and people in their life. In kink, someone who is infatuated may push for strong attachment play (brainwash me!), push for constant contact/play, or disregard boundaries that were pretty firm before. They may want to jump into the most intense kinky play more quickly.

For most people, infatuation is a phase. It can last from days to weeks to years depending on the person (and the research you're looking at) but- ideally infatuation will settle down into a more stable relationship in time. It’s not the strong impairment of being drunk (or being hypnotized)- it’s still pretty accepted in the hypnokink community (and in general) that someone who is infatuated can give reasonable, legitimate consent. That consent may just take a bit more discussion and thoughtfulness.******

Also- on the positive side, infatuation can be really fun! And being in love feels great! Being infatuated doesn't automatically mean someone is immature or unintelligent or incapable of having a kink relationship. Infatuation is just a possible side effect of hypnokinky play (and kink play)(and having a relationship)(and life).

A NOTE ON SUB FRENZY

In addition to “nre”, another term you might here around the community is “sub frenzy”. Sub frenzy is the tendency for new subs to want to do ALL of the things (and often play with all of the people) when they first get started in a kink. It's like infatuation, but for an activity instead of a person. My friend @daja-the-hypnokitten (who suggested and really helped out with this part of this answer) described it for me as being like someone who always thirsted and never got water- but now that they HAVE water they might gulp it down and drink so much that they make themselves sick. Someone who is in sub frenzy may push for tons of play in a way that harms them/where they neglect other things and may push for the most intense play ASAP.

A lot of the suggestions I talk about below might help with both sub frenzy and regular infatuation for a person. My friend suggested that what's often most helpful for her is having logistical conversations about her stronger desires- (ex. “Hey, if I give you a fetish for the color red, how might that work practically? What problems may come up? What safeties might we need in place?”) That way, she knows an idea is being worked on (which can soothe that craving for more more more now) but is also thinking about it in a practical way instead of just as a hot fantasy.

COPING WITH INFATUATION

So- infatuation is common in what we do, especially if you are someone’s first kinky partner. That being said, I definitely understand your caution with it. You're looking out for your sub and not wanting to influence them unduly. You don't want to continue a relationship dynamic that may be unhealthy for them. It speaks well of you as a dominant that you are paying careful attention to how your sub is doing and what may be influencing them/their consent.

Here's how not to handle it:

1. DON'T go for a magic cure. For some people, it would be tempting to want to cure this by hypnosis itself- to hypnotize your partner and give them a suggestion to not feel love for you anymore. That would be a BIG mistake. Repression tends to cause more problems than it answers and trying something like this could lead to really bad consequences. Also, especially if you tried this without your sub's conscious consent, it would be a big violation of their personal autonomy and their trust in you.

2. DON'T go radio silent or start backing away from your sub without talking about it. If you felt responsible for your sub’s feelings or actions, you might be tempted to limit your contact with them to not do any more "damage" to them. Shame or regret may make you want to back off. If that’s happening, I urge you to reconsider it. You can have kind intentions, but if you just disappear one day, your sub will likely blame himself and that would create problems in future relationships. He might think about you MORE after being ghosted or feel more in love with you in unhealthy ways. For some people, that sudden drop can keep them ruminating about the relationship for YEARS. You'd also lose everything that YOU have invested in this relationship, as well as the chance of it being healthy and rewarding relationship for you. Your sub being in love with you isn’t something you’re doing TO him, it’s just the situation you find yourselves in. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad one.

(This isn't to say you shouldn't be able to set boundaries for your mental health and even safety- I’ll talk about this more below. There might even come to a time when going radio silent is the best option! Hopefully, though, disconnecting without speaking would be a last resort if other attempts at boundary setting didn’t work .)

Here are some things to consider instead:

-DO have a big ole conversation with your sub. Several conversations. MANY conversations. ONGOING conversations. It sounds like you've already started having these. Great! It's totally fair to express your concern about his feelings using some of the language and explanations in the first section. That being said, ultimately neither you nor he are going to be able to control what he feels. Being infatuated is usually not something someone can just decide to stop doing. That’s not how feelings work. "I'm worried you're in love with me because of our hypnosis play" may be a good place to start a conversation but- it doesn't give him a lot to respond to. He can't just choose to not be in love with you any more- just like he can't choose to make you not worried. It may be helpful to think more about WHY you’re worried- what do you think might happen? Do you want him to change his behavior towards you right now? Are things OK now but you’re worried how this may affect things in the future?

A lot of times, starting from concrete observations might help start a conversation. Ex: "I know you've been talking more about how much you care for me. You've seemed more willing to push your own boundaries- like having your sister in the room when we talk." From there, you can move in to what you're worried about. (ex. "I'm worried you're getting so caught up in our play that you aren't studying", "I'm worried you seem to be neglecting your other relationships", "I'm worried that you're ignoring your boundaries and that you'll end up either regretting it or getting hurt.")

After you state your concerns, give him time to talk and listen to what he says. Ideally, you'll be able to both express your point of view and understand each other's by the end of the conversation. From here, you may be able to work out a plan together to address what’s going on. Or, you might be in a place where the plan is to keep touching base about your feelings- or even in a place where the hypnoamory doesn’t feel so worrisome. I know for me and my sub, we'll have frequent "hey, am I influencing you too much?" check ins. At this point, those check-ins seem to function primarily to provide reassurance to me as the domme- but that’s ok! They're also good chances for both of us to discuss how our D/s is going, what we’re feeling, if we have any new boundaries we need to set, etc. Even if I’m initially nervous about bringing something up, I usually feel really reassured when a conversation is over.

HEY, ARE YOU INFLUENCING YOUR SUB TOO MUCH?

I didn't say this above but I'll say this here- I doubt your sub's strong feelings are due to the way you're doing hypnosis or hypnokink. A lot of things probably have more influence on how he is feeling and responding than your play together. After all, people naturally get closer and have looser boundaries and pick up each other's preferences/habits/mannerisms the more time they spend together even without kink. In hypnokink we sometimes romanticize some of these natural responses as part of “brainwashing” but- in actuality, they’re normal parts of many longer term relationships. However, I don’t want to ignore the role hypnosis and kink play may have in influence. Here are some things to consider if you are worried that you are influencing your sub too much in play:

- How ARE you wording your suggestions to him? Are you telling him that he's enraptured, helpless against you, worshipful, obsessed with you, etc? Are you implying or saying you're the only one that can make him feel this way? There's a lot of language that people regularly use in hypnokink that wouldn’t be out of place in a particularly saucy Victorian love poem. I doubt these words alone are creating love whole-cloth, but this kind of flowery kink talk is also packed with suggestions and suggestions can have effects. Even the harsher-sounding kink talk- things like "You are my property" or "You're worthless without me" can create dependence and feelings of love. Flowery sexy hypnotalk suggestions can linger sometimes even if you are "just" role-playing or if you give suggestions to “cancel” those previous suggestions at the end of a session. They also might not! It really depends on the person! (Example- Think of a sad movie you've seen. You can often still feel the sadness now even though you KNOW the movie itself wasn't real.)

If themes around romance/dependence/worship are coming up in your scenes, it's a good idea to be mindful about them and how you're using them. Is this something that you both consciously wanted as a theme in play or did it just kind of sneak in because those are typical tropes? How are you both feeling about those themes now? I wouldn't say to stop speaking in ways that are hot to you both, but talking about how and when and why might be a good next step. Sometimes even both consciously and verbally setting intentions about what you want the relationship to look like outside of scenes helps. Know that even in really self-knowledgeable subs, there can be "bleed" of emotions from in the scene to out of it- so it’s good to keep checking in! “Positive” emotions especially may have this tendency to linger.

Putting limiters around a scene may not work perfectly, but it may help prevent some emotional bleedover. Some ways you might do this could include setting up fantasy scenarios/ role play, consciously undoing suggestions at the end of a scene, or "locking" suggestions to limit them to a certain person/certain time/certain place. Doing good check ins after a scene and aftercare can help you discuss lingering effects- especially if the aftercare moves someone out of a submissive headspace and into a more normal one.

- Are you doing long term conditioning? If you're doing any suggestions that linger outside of a scene, those suggestions have the chance of tying the other person to you (even if unintentionally). Here’s an example that seems really innocuous: Pretend that I give someone a suggestion that every time he walks through a doorway, he will touch his nose. This person does this a bunch of times during the week. Fun! Silly! But also- there's a secret sneaky second trigger in here. While this person is touching his nose, he is also likely thinking of me, the hypnotist who gave him that suggestion. Maybe he thinks of how much fun we're having together or how hot it is that I've compelled his behavior. It IS hot and fun! Now he’s thinking of me in hot/fun ways a bunch of times a day -every time he walks through the door, in fact! It might not have been my intention, but I’ve accidentally conditioned my guy to think of me in positive ways all day every day. No wonder he might start feeling attached! And this is just a basic example. Imagine the associations that could happen if he had to ask me before he had an orgasm!

Conditioning happens outside of play too. Are y'all talking all day every day? Are you doing positive things at each other randomly and unpredictably? Those actions are probably making you feel closer. (Those unpredictable rewards are POWERFUL.) None of that has to be malicious or consciously manipulative, it’s just how humans bond.

Again I want to emphasize- Feeling close is not a bad thing! Nor is falling in love! And even if you have been engaging in some of these actions, you aren’t responsible for your sub’s actions or emotions. These are normal things for hypnokinksters to do and normal risks for us to take. The question isn’t one of blame (for yourself or him)- it’s where you both want to go from here.

COOLING THINGS DOWN

Hopefully you will both talk together and come to a mutual decision/conclusion. Let's say that you and your your sub talk and you both decide to cool things off a bit. What might work?

- Coming to a true mutual decision about your goals and strategies for cooling things off. Open, non-judgemental, and ongoing communication about feelings here would be helpful. What does “cooling things off” look like? How will you know when it has happened? It’s ok to modify expectations as you go.

- Setting stronger boundaries. If y'all are playing all day every day, you might instead schedule a time to play once a week. You might limit unpredictable suggestions or times where you're texting during the day. You might table bigger relationship step conversations (collaring, moving in together, exclusivity, heavy brainwashing play) for a period of time to settle into the relationship and how you relate to each other after some of the initial intensity has passed. You may also table types of play for a time (for example, if themes of begging and worship are contributing to his strong feelings maybe you both want to back off those for a while pending further conversation).

-Developing trustworthiness in yourselves and each other- If you're worried about him having impaired consent because of love or hypnosis or kink or any combination of these things, talk about this specifically! Make sure you make a relationship where setting boundaries feels really good and comfortable- and where bringing up those conversations feels safe.. I know I try to be really verbally grateful when a partner sets a boundary or even gives critical feedback- it lets me know that they trust me and I can trust them to be taking care of themselves. You can even frame this as part of submission ("you're my property so you need to take care of what's mine") or your partnership/consent ("I worry when you keep changing boundaries because I would feel guilty if I hurt you/our relationship accidentally"). Trust usually increases bonding, but making fertile ground for boundaries can help you both have the conversations you need to make sure the relationship doesn’t feel like “too much”.

- Playing with other partners. Are you worried that your sub may be more in love with kink/ hypnosis itself than they are with you? Sometimes it takes time and experience for new kinksters to really distinguish for themselves if they’re having strong feelings for a person vs strong feelings for an activity. Encouraging his own introspection may help, but playing with other hypnotist partners can help him figure this out too. If you decide to take this step, y'all would want to do it within your own comfort zones and he would want to be careful about who he played with. Suggesting playing with others should never be a command- more of a helpful idea. There's unfortunately some ill-meaning hypnotists out there- so if he’s interested in playing with others, passing on information about finding safe partners and taking care of his subject agency might help him with branching out.

-Talking to other experienced subs. If your partner talks with other hypnosubs, he is likely to be able to find people who can relate to how he is feeling. Sometimes even hearing from someone else who has had similar experiences may be helpful. He could also potentially get tips on how other subjects manage strong emotions in their kink dynamics. Ditto for you talking to other dominants. This is a known issue within the community- many people have dealt with it and can offer empathy and ideas.

YOUR BOUNDARIES MATTER

I’ve been talking a lot in this response about his boundaries and your mutually agreed upon kink boundaries but- you get your own boundaries too! We sometimes skip talking about dominant/top boundaries in kink but- it’s very important that you are paying attention to your own comfort zone and needs. Boundaries help both of you continue to play in a way that feels fun/safe/enjoyable for everyone involved. This may sound harsh but- just because your sub is in love with you, that doesn't necessarily have to change what YOUR boundaries are (unless you want it to). Similarly, just because your sub is wanting to ignore his earlier boundaries, it doesn’t mean that you have to change your boundaries if that makes you uncomfortable. (In fact, I tend to be the brakes in a relationship more often when I'm topping than bottoming- and I think that's pretty common for a lot of switches.) For example, I'm really glad that you were clear and firm about not having his sister around on calls. If he’s doing things that are dangerous to himself in a way that pushes YOUR boundaries, it’s OK to say that and set conditions. (Ex. “I know you are really invested in our kink play, but if you drop out of school because of it, I won’t want to play with you any more.”)

If you’re worried about managing sudden boundary changes on his part, you can always give yourself pauses to think and decide what’s comfortable for you. For example, let’s say that he contacts you right before a scene and wants something that would push his previous boundaries. It would be OK in that case to say if you’re not comfortable with that- that you’d like to think about it and discuss it later. Or you may even say “no” outright if it's uncomfortable for you. You might even consider a new relationship rule- if he (or either of you) want to do something that pushes previously-held boundaries, you need to have a sober discussion about it first.

Lastly, if he’s pushing your boundaries and KEEPS pushing them after you try to talk, you might have to set stronger boundaries- up to and including breaking up with him. Being in love can explain his intensity, but if he can’t take a “no” then we’re moving into something really unhealthy. (I like this little worksheet about separating a healthy relationship vs an unhealthy one vs an abusive one- it’s not kink specific but has good information in general about what each of these relationships may look like- https://idas.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Healthy-Relationships-Checklist-2.pdf )

I know this was a lot of information anon! I hope it helps! Please feel free to write me with follow up questions (and that goes for anyone reading). Also- I only know things here from my own experience and life philosophies- I hope other people will read this and add their perspective/knowledge! Between all of us, I hope you find the knowledge you're looking for!

Thank you to @linnybeenaughty , @ultinath ,@dancercoder , @spiralturquoise , and especially @daja-the-hypnokitten for the beta reads!; I appreciate your thoughts and help checking this for me! Any grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes or general wonkiness are my fault, not theirs.

Footnotes (for Nerds)

*I realize I’m leaning a lot on neurotransmitters here so- just to say, MANY activities release these neurotransmitters, not just hypnosis and love. Neurotransmitters are always swimming around in our head- they help our brain through its daily functioning. People especially sometimes talk as though things that trigger dopamine are innately addictive but- brains are much more complicated than that. I probably get a dopamine hit from brushing my teeth. It’s a piece of the puzzle here, not the whole thing.

**Side note- That being said, if you've never experienced intense hypnoamory, that's OK too! There's nothing wrong with you and it doesn't mean you don't care about partners. You just fall in love in a different way.

***Other/similar words and concepts it might be helpful to look up- limerence, nre (new relationship energy), puppy love. It isn't exactly "sub frenzy" but learning about that might be helpful too. :)

****Infatuation can make therapists really nervous sometimes because that’s when people do things like stop treatment, go off medications, relapse on drugs, make huge life decisions, etc. It can be hard to balance being infatuated and still working on yourself!

******Infatuation and being Infatuation-impaired is actually its' own subkink. A lot of pro work is out there on that theme. It's edge play and I'm assuming not what you're writing about, but I wanted to acknowledge down here that it exists.

[kays-artstuff]

continuing the lil' au concept that i was doodling a while back (design still fairly inspired by user @ howlonomy)

so

-monsters are still primarily underground because the moving process takes a while

-clover meets kanako while looking through the underground and staying hidden debating their options and building up the courage to talk to starlo, martlet, ceroba and dalv.

-I like the concept of bug kanako ejbfherfb

-kanako finds clover and goes "I like your vibe" and hangs around clover when she's not around her mother

-flowey goes to frisk eventually and goes "yeah so like, i brought the dead humans back but only one is awake rn because they had the least injuries and i'm still healing the others technically" and I imagine frisk panics and is currently spending their free time looking for clover

[highlynerdy]

"I do it because I want to protect him from the world, and sometimes from myself. I want to tell him every secret I ever had, and yet I never want to make him choose, to see the hurt in his eyes, to put this, too, on him. I want-I want so many things. Sometimes, I just want."

Turning The Page by @queerofthedagger / art by @schweetheart

I started this fanARTifact in July 2021 and finally, finally finished it in September 2024. Click below to see so many more pictures and read probably too much about the project.

This project was a LABOR OF LOVE because y'all...I failed so, so many times during the making of it. I had grand dreams of all the things that I was going to do and learn and every single time I tried something it was like the universe telling me to go ahead and go fuck myself, we're not doing that. But it's done and I'm pleased with it. I hope Mona and Schweets are. Let's talk about the process.

I read this story back in July 2021 when it came out and immediately wrote @schweetheart on July 23, 2021 to ask if I could use her art for the back because it was such a crucial part of the story.

She graciously allowed me to use it, and even sent me a high res file so I could have the portrait of Arthur printed on art paper.

THEN. My brilliantly stupid self decided that just making the book wasn't enough. I mean, I had already done that for Arthur's journal back in 2020 and I am nothing if not a nutter about learning to do new things, especially for my fanARTifact series.

SO. I'm going to learn to make paper. Yeah. Totally a reasonable escalation in terms of new skills, right?? ......... Nope. I bought a small 5x7 mould and deckle to practice with and some cotton linters to make the pulp. Twas. A. Failure. I didn't have a press or the felts or the sizing needed to make the paper actually, ya know, usable. This was the first time I put the project down for a while.

Moving on to another new skill in late 2021, I decided that I wanted to make the walnut ink myself. Luckily, I was part of a pigment subscription in 2020 (that is a hell of a nerdy statement, even for me) and had all the supplies in my art studio to attempt this endeavor.

I didn't fail this part! Fucking huzzah for small miracles. Now I had two small bottles of black walnut ink to use for the calligraphy that I wanted to do for some of the excerpts. Except now I was stuck again on the paper making part so I put it back down again for an eternity.

Picking it back up in late 2022, I asked Mr. Highlynerdy to make a custom size mould and deckle for me so I could have long pieces to fold for my signatures. It was his first time doing anything like this but he's a buddy and a pal and gave it a try. Surprising no one if you've read this far, we both failed this part. Even now, I'm still not sure we succeeded but eventually we did get something workable. And considering professional mould and deckles cost in the hundreds of dollars...yeah, it'll do.

It took a hot ass minute for me to feel ready to attempt the paper making again but once I was ready, I ordered wet, pre-beaten pulp from Twinrocker. A very curt man on the phone helped me figure out what I needed and added internal sizing to the pulp I ordered. I didn't take pictures of any of the paper stuff because it was very messy and annoying. Once again, Mr. Highlynerdy helped me rig up a drying box with tri-wall cardboard and ratchet straps and a box fan. Once the paper was dry, I used a gelatin mixture to paint on external sizing. Since I'm primarily a painter, I needed the paper to be able to handle ink, paint, pencil. Sizing paper is the only way to do this, but no worries, I won't go further into the nerdy details about this.

Once the paper was ready, I decided to sew the text block. Here's another part where I failed YET A-FUCKING-GAIN. I talked before on Arthur's Journal post about how books were very, very rare in the 6th century (Arthurian period), but BBC Merlin is soooooo anachronistic that it's fiiiiiine to just do what I wanted. HOWEVER. I did want to try to do visible spine binding. But. Unfortunately I had gone ahead and used all of my paper to bind the text block as if I was going to case it in. FUUUUUUUCCCCCK. It's fine. We're fine. Come on, brain. What can we do.

Well, what we CAN'T do is use a piece of leather from my large remnant that I bought for my first journal because someone - FUCKING ME - measured and cut the last piece NOT TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THE WIDTH of the text block. So now it doesn't fit. And refusing to buy a new piece of leather I'm forced to pivot once again.

I decided to cut the leather spine even shorter, buy some wood pieces and sand them, paint them a matte black, and then glue the leather to those pieces. Cool cool cool. We're moving on. I tested a lot of different glues for this and good ol' super glue ended up being the clear winner. Cue putting this project away again for a whiiiillle.

In October 2023, I decided to pull it out again and do the calligraphy and drawings I wanted. This story has so many gorgeous parts but I finally decided on the first page, the last page, and the page about Gaius.

I mixed my handmade walnut ink with my beloved Finetec gold and used the quills I bought from John Neal Booksellers to practice my Uncial. I shouldn't have been rusty after lettering an entire fic for this fanARTifact, but I was.

The little dragon was inspired by medieval manuscript dragons I found.

Narratively, I loved the idea that Merlin's writing would start off soft and delicate and become stronger by the end of the journal. Also, I loved that the end word "WANT" would be just gold because the ink blend changes throughout. Something magical or whatever.

This part needed tears. They might have been real ones...

Annnnnnnnd, the project was put down again until a few days ago when I decided, after getting back into Merlin fic, I needed to buck up and finish it.

I did so many tests for the cover. I tried embossing, carving, and debossing and hated all of them. I settled on painting it with acrylic paints in the shape of a Celtic knot sort of pattern. I originally wanted to do a triskelion but after reading a bit about how some asshole groups have co-opted the symbol for shitty purposes, I decided against it. It's a mix of black and gold and it's hard to capture the depth of it through photos...eh, I did what I could.

Still. Something wasn't quite working with the brown leather and the black covers with the new symbol so I broke out my matte black leather paint and decided to go all black.

All I had left to do was glue in the text block and it would be done! And that still took me a few days to work up the courage. The book opens nice and flat, which will be good for me as I will use it as a sketchbook.

Sitting here, on September 1st, I have completed a project that taught me many new skills and also taught me a lot about humility and perseverance. There was no way I was going to abandon this project, and maybe I should have started over many of the times, but I am quite in love with the final result and I just hope that it does it's inspiration proud. Thank you @queerofthedagger Mona for all you create and share with the Merlin fandom, and thank you @schweetheart for allowing me to use your gorgeous art.

Also, you may see quite a few other fanARTifacts in this photoshoot because I will use any opportunity to show them off lol.

If you read to the end of this, you deserve a cocktail and a cookie. Thank you. 💛✨✨

[mistydeyes]

hey, can i please request headcanons of 141 boys with reader that is a youtuber?

omg yes ofc! i used to (and still am) a HUGE YOUTUBE WATCHER so this was so fun to do :) thank you again for requesting!

vidcon but the uk version

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

summary: You're not any regular civilian, you're a Youtuber ;) In all seriousness, here's some headcanons of how the boys interact with your channel and support you!

pairing: 141 x YouTuber!Reader

warnings: swearing

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

price - beauty and skincare

you were already big on YouTube when you met John

he can't go into a Sephora without someone mentioning your latest video or TikTok

someone would assume you were an employee based on how you were able to help the fan pick out the best skincare and makeup

he was shocked at the sheer number of brand deals you participate in

he also is in awe at the corner you had dedicated to your ring light and makeup desk with a nice camera set-up

when you eventually move in together, he's just used to the number of parcels you get daily

he will insist on at least giving you some money when you do a beauty haul (even though you tell him you don't need it)

one time he tried to surprise you by picking out some things that you mentioned

now your most popular video is “trying out makeup that my boyfriend picked out”

his only annoyance is when you accidentally stain one of the face towels

eventually just buys a new set meant specifically for you when you wash off a look

you're planning on having a new video where you do skincare on him and finally get at some of his blackheads

soap - gaming

prior to meeting Johnny, you already had a sizable channel

you primarily did long lets plays and the occasional stream

your setup is absolutely gorgeous -i'm talking led lights, two monitors that have the best processing power, pro gaming chair, and posters

it took awhile to curate but it's your baby and you make sure he knows that

loves watching you game and will occasionally keep you company for those long streams

it reminds him of when his younger siblings would watch him game on their early Playstation and X-Box consoles

your subscribers love when he's there though because he has the best reactions

your most popular video? "my boyfriend plays five nights at freddy's ⚠️headphone warning⚠️"

despite having amazing technical skills on the field, his multitasking sucked and he would always forget to check on foxy or overuse the battery

you had a great time editing the video after and emphasizing the jumpscares

he won't subject you to rewatching your videos with him but he likes watching other channels or collars you've done

"This guy is absolute shite" "I know, that's why I don't play multiplayer with him anymore"

he'll be so excited if you ever get invited to a big event like Pax, E3, or Gamescom

you basically have to keep him on track as he loves stopping in artist's alley and looking at all the trinkets and merch people are selling

make sure to bring a huge suitcase because your game room is getting a few new additions

gaz - internet documentaries

think of Internet Historian or Down the Rabbit Hole vibe

your channel is dedicated to internet phenomena like Florida Man or the movement to Storm Area 51

you'd tell the facts of the trend and then add a few funny commentary pieces

usually your videos are 45 min to an 1 hr long so a lot of work goes into it

it's more of a hobby than anything but Kyle always thinks the amount of research you do for it is insane

"Babe I think you need a new laptop" "Why?" "I always know you're about to make a new docu-series because it sounds like a fucking airplane takin off"

once your laptop doesn't sound like its going to blow up, he'll be sure to keep you company as you write down your script

"Did you know that there was a convention for X or X happened?" is how most of your conversations go

he'll always smile and let you give him a spark notes version of what happened

will be the one telling you too sleep and that you can continue editing tomorrow

loves when companies send you things for ad reads

hoards all of the items from Dollar Shave Club and Raycon (his absolute favorite sponsor of yours)

he'll occasionally watch your videos while he's cooking or at the gym

always loves learning something new even if its about a failed furry convention

"I liked your latest video" is such a huge compliment from him because he knows how much effort you put into it

he'll occasionally feed you ideas that he sees while he's scrolling through social media

"You should do something on Hat Man" "WHO??" "Yk the guy you see when you take too much Benadryl, apparently Soap sees him too"

ghost - asmr

tbh doesn’t think much about your channel

you’ll just occasionally leave the room to record or crack some slime in front of a camera

however when your channel is mentioned in conversation, he considers revisiting

“have you heard about this asmr thing?” Gaz asked the group and Soap immediately interjected

“OH YEAH some of them are amazing to watch alone,” he said with a wink

“Like this account-“ Soap wasn’t able to finish his sentence before Ghost snatched the phone out of his hand

“Sorry just couldn’t see it” he apologized and he tried to suppress his disgust that someone else was listening to you at night like that

after that, he takes another look and watches a few of your more popular videos

ofc its your series roleplaying as a nurse or doctor taking care of someone

as well as one where you act like a sleepy girlfriend waking up next to their significant other

he will never say that he watches your videos but you do notice the uptick in views and likes (it's a cute little secret of his)

one time you attempted to ask all these questions about being in the military to help you write dialogue for your latest combat medic series

"People seriously want stuff like that?" "You'll be surprised, not tell me what you usually have in your pack"

he will cringe when you pull your asmr voice on him and whisper in your ear

"Cut that shit out."

[soracities]

how do you know when you're getting good at poetry? everybody dunks on halsey and rupi kaur's poetry, and i never really got why and idk if that's what i sound like

Honestly, I don't think there's ever a point at which you "know" you're getting good at poetry--I think "good" and "bad" are kind of vague and amorphous (and distracting) categories that don't do much in helping us understand the feel and impact of certain writing, chiefly because they can also be deeply subjective. How a poet views a particular work and how a reader views it will be very, very different because their relationship to the work is different. I also think "good" is a sort of external category that does not (or should not) carry into the act of writing itself--when you make "is this good?" the chief consideration as you write, you're not actually present in the writing: you're focused on the finished product, not the process, but the process is the most important thing: that's where the poem actually meets you. I think growth, in writing, is less about knowing if you're "good" in this regard, and more about being able to have confidence, or simply just trust, in the writing as it happens.

There's a famous saying somewhere that a work of literature is never "finished"--it just stops. I think skill, when it comes to writing, lies in recognising where this point is, in learning and developing how you navigate what it is you want to say, and how you say it. Some poems, eventually, reach a point where you can take them no further and you know there is nothing more to be said in them or through them. Some poems reach a point where you can take them no further, but there is still something left to be said in them. Those poems get revisited, worked, and reworked again, until they (maybe) get close to the first category: this may mean you work on them for a few weeks, or for years--but either way you are prioritizing the process of making the poem, not how it will be received. "Is this a good poem?" in my view at least, is not really the relevant question--what's relevant is "is this true to what I wanted to say?" Leonard Cohen famously wrote over 100 drafts of "Hallelujah"--I don't know if the central question for him here was just a matter of his skills as a songwriter.

Regarding Halsey and Rupi Kaur, I've only been able to read Halsey's poems through previews on Google Books so I don't know what other people's critiques are--based on what I saw, though, I don't know if it makes sense to criticize their quality as "poems" when she is primarily a songwriter and a lot of those poems wound up as songs. I'm more familiar with Rupi Kaur's writing, though, and others like her (Atticus, Michael Faudet etc), and while I have a personal policy of not getting into Kaur online (there's an ask here which is about as much as I'm willing to say regarding my feelings on her writing)--I can get into this trend or poetry "style" as a whole. And to be honest I think the chief issue here with poetry like this is that poetry, by definition, involves a deep and intimate relationship with language: this holds true regardless of whether the poem is simple, or complex, whether it's 5 lines long or goes on for 50 pages. As I said in that previous ask, it's not something you can reduce to a formula, nor is it a matter of mere reportage or a collection of statements: what makes a poem has nothing to do with line breaks (prose poems exist), but everything to do with how the language moves, how the language of a poem engages with its own content, with itself, and, as a result, with the reader.

The kind of work that proliferates on Instagram does not have that kind of engagement with language--they are, to me, pieces of information more than anything else. They reduce language to a series of stock phrases that act, not as actual words, but as images (and I don't mean this in a visually evocative way). It tries to evoke something that requires a thoughtful and sustained examination in order to be expressed, by surpassing the reality of what that examination actually requires. It tries to ape the effect of a powerful poem without the work that goes into actually being able to make that kind of a poem in the first place: and that work is a sustained encounter and confrontation with the language used and its relationship to what it tries to convey, in understanding that words are not interchangeable blocks you move around willy-nilly but that they have weight and intention, that they interact with each other to build up an idea or a feeling or a landscape in the most accessible way (insofar as language can make anything accessible, at least). But this is rarely, if ever, felt in IG poetry because it refuses to recognize or respect the demands and requirements of the medium it uses.

And because it is lacking in this engagement and recognition, these poems are also, for the most part, lacking sincerity--and this, to me, is one of the most crucial things when it comes to writing. I recall one IG poet whose work was in the same class as someone like Atticus, but I also recall one of his poems which genuinely moved me--and it moved me because, unlike everything else on his account, that poem felt sincere: the structure and the language wasn't any different to anything else he wrote, but in reading it, it was not a question for me of whether it was "bad" or "good"--what made the impact was that it was honest: and the difference showed. You can't come into a poem with ulterior motives. You can't come into it without an understanding, or respect, for the language you use. I'm absolutely not policing what people should or shouldn't read, and I'm not saying people are wrong for liking these poems, either, or that Halsey, Kaur, Atticus et al., are wrong for writing them. Expression is expression, and what speaks to you speaks to you. And to be honest, it is a different kettle of fish when you are writing something purely for yourself (and I think allowing yourself to partake in any kind of artform, without worrying about needing to be good at it, is deeply important for the human spirit)--but because they are putting their work out publicly, if we are going to be evaluating what they write and how they write it, that evaluation has to be rooted in an understanding of the art form they intend their work to be a part of.

For me, these are the main issues I have with these writers and their work and why I just do not like them. But I also want to stress that, ultimately, what you sound like in your own poems, anon, does not matter as much as being sincere to yourself does. As I said, I don' like using terms like "good" and "bad" and I think that often they're fairly reductive (and sometimes outright pointless) categories to use when we talk about and assess poetry--more than anything else, the key to building a robust and informed discernment when it comes to poems is to simply just read--read a lot of it and read widely. The broader and richer your repository of poetry (and literature in general) is, the more informed you are when it comes to all the different ways language can move through a poem, and all the different impacts it can have as a result. It deepens and enriches your understanding of all the different ways of looking at something, questioning something, expressing something. Your vocabularly grows and deepens; your net of associations--visual, linguistic etc--strengthens. And when this understanding grows you are able to place the things you read into a much wider and far more informed context. And this in turn allows you to grow as a reader and a writer. I hope this helps you a little, anon 💕

[thefirstknife]

The thing about the final lore tab is that, besides the fact that I'm devastated in ways I can't put into words, the way Saint was affected by this whole thing is unique.

This is obviously primarily Osiris' trauma that we can't really properly comprehend, but Osiris wasn't fully conscious for most of it. It fell to Saint to wait, and hope, that Osiris would be brought back and that he would wake up. There was no certainty for him there. And even before that, he watched "Osiris" being strange and distant and acting weird but obviously nobody could even begin to speculate that the person he interacted with wasn't Osiris at all, so the trauma went from there, from learning that he lost Sagira, then to the shock of Osiris being kidnapped and then the quest to bring him back and then him being brought back in a coma and then the 9 long months of waiting until he woke up.

The state of constant anxiety he experienced for almost 2 years total is nervewracking and gutwrenching. I don't think we can fully understand the impact of that on someone. And the best, or worst, thing is that Saint is infinitely patient. He is infinitely emotional and merciful and opts to be the better person and to wait and wait and wait. And hope that it can be fixed.

Except it can't. It can't be fixed. And not only can it not be fixed, but there will never be justice for it. It's impossible. There isn't a way to truly punish Savathun for what she's done. There is no relief or catharsis for Saint. While Osiris can mostly move on, Osiris did not really have to go through what Saint had to go through. Their traumas are different and Saint's is the type that no one can really understand and there is nothing he can do about it.

A younger Saint would've killed Immaru and then Savathun, 100%. But now he can't, because he isn't that person anymore. And yet, the grief and trauma remain and he has no outlet for them and nothing that can be done to enact any sort of justice. So he settles for pure rage, letting himself essentially vent that anger out, but still leave everyone alive. And there's really no true release here. He got a brief satisfaction of killing Savathun over and over, but at the end of the day, she will walk away and nothing will change and there will be no fix.

Which is why he comes back and just cries. As he said, this wasn't for Osiris, it was for him. It was his outlet for anger and nothing else. After that, there's nothing else left to do but cry. No one can really help him carry the burden of what he's gone through and besides: he's a Titan. He's the one carrying other people's burdens. Which just added to the trauma because for so long he's only cared for others, mostly for Osiris, and never really let himself fully grieve or talk about it. Saint never really processed the horrifying ordeal of constant concern for his loved one, then the realisation that his loved one isn't even with him, then the desperate search and then waiting for months and months for the hope that his loved one might wake up. Then Osiris is awake and we're forced to play allies with the person who traumatised both of them in an incomprehensibly terrifying way. Saint had no other way of attempting to make his peace with the situation.

Year of processing grief. I'm in shambles.

[thishazbinamistake]

Howdy!

I am here to talk about Viv's horrible character designs.

From an animator perspective, they suck.

Here's why

1. The characters have way too much detail

For animation, more lines equal more work. You're going to be drawing them over and over, and it just creates more stress and work for the animators.

For example, I took one of the most egregious designs in HB (Beelzebub) and simplified it to be animation friendly.

(Can't send it here but I'll probably make a post about it or something.)

2. There's too much of 1 color

WHY IS THERE SO MUCH RED??

Especially since they're in a primarily red background, they don't stand out AT ALL.

Like how am I supposed to see them if they blend in to the background??

3. I have no idea what half of them are supposed to be

Charlie is based off a doll?

Alastor is based off of a deer?

Katie Killjoy is based off of a praying mantis?

Angel Dust is based off of a spider?

Beelzebub is supposed to be well... Beelzebub?

When designing characters, they need to be clear on what they're supposed to be! And no, explaining it on Twitter does not count.

4. The animation reference sheets are garbage

No wonder there's so much animation errors. There's no facial expression sheets, lip sync guide, nothing. It's just a 4 angle turnaround sheet where the character is in complex poses all the time.

If you Google Lackadaisy's animation reference sheets and then look at HB's, it's like night and day.

I'm more than willing to send some examples (along with the edit I did) if you want

So yeah, what are your thoughts?

These are all great points! I think you summed up the main problems very well, but I'll elaborate on each of them. I'm no expert at character design or animation by any means, but I'll do my best to explain my points!

First of all, like you said, the character designs are way too complicated. Anyone who knows even the slightest amount about animation knows you want to simplify and streamline your designs as much as possible to make it easier on the animators. Vivzie is way too obsessed with her Deviantart OC lookin'-ass character designs to actually do this, even though it would seriously help to make the animation process way faster and easier. Beelzebub is seriously the best (or worst?) example of this.

I feel so bad for the poor souls who had to animate this. There are just way too many moving parts here, from her multiple arms, her wings, her markings, to her freaking lava lamp hair and tail?? It's just awful. And so many of Viv's designs suffer this problem, I could go on and on.

Like, I think it actually is a nice looking design, as a still image. Maybe not for the demon Beelzebub, but as a general furry OC, I think she's cute. But that's beside the point. I would love to see your redesign of her!

Next, the RED. So, most of the characters we see in Helluva Boss are red-skinned imps, which has been a common depiction of demons for centuries. One big problem I have is that there's little contrast in these designs. Let's look at our three main imps.

Aside from some white and yellow highlights, they're all mostly red and black. Their color palettes aren't distinct in the slightest! And, I mean, come on. Red accessories against what's almost the exact same shade of red skin? Really? It just doesn't look good. A little contrast here and there goes a long way, like... maybe make Moxxie's bowtie blue? Or Blitz's pendant green? I don't know, anything to help each character stand out, and help give them more visual intrigue.

It doesn't help that most of the backgrounds are primarily shades of red, too. Here's a few screenshots I found that really show this problem.

Look at all that fucking red. Like you said, there's such little color variation that the characters blend into the background. Now, to be fair, I did specifically choose these screenshots because I think they really highlight the problem, but this really is what so much of the show looks like. Granted, we do have a bit more variety in the different rings of Hell, each with their own main color, but this is still too much red, considering how much the color comprises the main characters' designs.

Next, like you said, Vivzie is really bad at making characters actually look like the things they're supposed to look like. Let's take Alastor as an example!

Oh boy! More red and black. So, Alastor here is supposed to be a deer. What's the first physical characteristic that comes to mind when you think of a deer?

Yeah, those big, impressive antlers! So... where are his? Oh, they're those tiny little forks on his head that are almost entirely obscured by his stupid emo hair. Like, come on! Giving him bigger antlers would have made him look so much cooler and more intimidating, and it would have been a great focal point for his design! It's such a missed opportunity. (I know he has bigger antlers in his scarier "demon" form, but you still could have made these a little more impressive.) And don't even get me started on those ears... they look more like fox ears or something. Like you said, a good design shouldn't need to be explained through supplementary material. We should be able to tell what a character is supposed to be just from looking at them!

Another great example is Angel Dust, who, despite being a spider, lacks so many distinct features we associate with spiders! He only has six legs instead of eight, he doesn't have pedipalps or chelicerae, and he also lacks that big old spider booty, which I think is such a missed opportunity, considering he is supposed to be in the sex industry. He isn't even remotely shaped like a spider, he looks more like a fuzzy stick bug or something.

Part of me feels like Viv is too afraid to make her characters look unique, so she just goes with the same, skinny humanoid design for just about everything. It's such a shame, because I really do think she is a talented artist who can make some really interesting designs. But then again, she also gave us Beelzebub, so... maybe not.

As for the reference sheets, maybe I wasn't looking hard enough but I couldn't find any official ones for the main characters, so if you could send those my way I would appreciate it! Though it honestly wouldn't surprise me if they were bad. I did look up Lackadaisy's and found them pretty easily and...

This is so freaking comprehensive and detailed, it's incredible! Look at all those poses and facial expressions!

Comparing Vivzie's works to Tracy's feels kind of unfair, since Tracy has been working on Lackadaisy for 17 years, and it really shows. This is leaps and bounds above Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel in quality. Rocky's design is tight; it's detailed, but not overly complicated. There isn't an obnoxious overuse of highly saturated colors, and there's such nice contrast between his fur, his eyes, suit, and tie, making his design very nice to look at. You can also tell so much about his personality and the world he lives in just from his appearance. It's such a good design, and Rocky is just one example from Lackadaisy! All of Tracy's designs are memorable and stand out from one another, unlike so many of Vivzie's characters, whose designs honestly feel interchangable.

So much thought and care has gone into Lackadaisy, and I seriously cannot wait for the full series, as well as all the other amazing indie animated series that have been coming out recently. It's sad that Helluva Boss is seen as the pinnacle of indie animation, when there are so many other series out there that are just.. better! Lackadaisy, obviously, but we've also got Digital Circus, Murder Drones, Monkey Wrench, and so many others that deserve way more appreciation than what Helluva Boss receives. And that's just from an art direction standpoint, we aren't even talking about writing. That's a whole other can of worms.

All of that being said, it's obvious that a ton of love and hard work went into Helluva Boss, and I hold absolutely nothing against the animators and artists at Spindlehorse. These poor design choices are a hallmark of Vivzie's art style, and they're simply working with what they've got. There is such wasted potential here because it feels like Vivzie is too afraid to step outside her comfort zone and design something that isn't a brightly colored, sharp-toothed twink, or skinny anthro wolf girl.

Anyways, that about wraps up my thoughts. Thanks for the ask, this was fun to delve into! And again, I'd be very interested in seeing you post your redesigns! 👀

[tenebris-metallum]

Feeling a little insecure with this one because of how long it's been since I've used markers, but I'm still pretty happy with it. Here's my guy Vincent, the Armored Guardian! He's a spirit oath-bound to a suit of armor :3

More info below cut:

Vince started out as a dark souls au for my Rhino Prime Warframe oc, Väktare, but I've since taken him and made him more of his own thing.

His personality is pretty much the same: taciturn to the point of being only semi-verbal, primarily communicating through gesture and sign language, fiercely loyal, and ultimately a deeply kind individual in spite of his brutality on the battlefield.

He is, strictly speaking, undead and experiences both the advantages and the drawbacks to that. His soul can be transferred between sets of armor, but it takes a LOT of energy for him to do so, and he's unable to move during the process. It's pretty much only done if the armor he's currently in is about to fall apart.

Vincent was oath-bound to protect a half-demon child mage... but he believes to have failed, and considers his continued existence to be his penitence for breaking that oath.

[wishful-thinking64]

One Hell of an Unpopular Opinion #08

Two out of the three Hispanic characters in Hazbin Hotel are deeply rooted damaging stereotypes within Spanish & Latin American cultures and the one that isn't a blatant stereotype is misused. ___________

With Spanish Heritage Month right around the corner and being a Latina myself, I think it's more than fair for me to give my thoughts on the Latinos (in Spanish, it doesn't matter if there's only one guy in a primarily female group, you have to put Latinos) in HH. Let's start off with the least offensive out of the group, Carmilla Carmine.

We're introduced to her in Scrambled Eggs which is Episode #03 of HH. She invited each of the Overlords to a meeting to speak about how brutal this year's Extermination was and what they could do going forward. During said meeting, Velvette throws the head of a decapitated Exorcist on the table for her to try and take control of the conversation. Things before and during the song Respectless (why this song wasn't called Disrespect or Diss-respect is something I'll never understand) escalate as Velvette figures out that Carmilla is the one behind the dead Exorcist based on her body language and when she asks, "You know why this angel's headless? Do you have a disclosure?" Carmilla immediately ends the meeting thereafter, confirming her suspicions were correct. People have already criticized the mystery of the dead Exorcist being solved way too soon, though I haven't seen as many people criticize why the other Overlords didn't look or immediately question Carmilla the SECOND that Exorcist's head rolled on the table? Like, you guys know that she's Hell's top ANGELIC arms dealer, why wouldn't any of you suspect her from the start? Even if she had ended up being a red herring, I would've seen it as the Overlords using the process of elimination and common sense cause why wouldn't the ANGELIC arms dealer kill an Exorcist??? In any case, the reason behind Carmilla killing the Exorcist was to protect her daughters and thus someone we should sympathize with. Except that, we don't know anything about her daughters and we still don't know her. So why should I care? I have no attachment and therefore no proper reason to care for a character I JUST met. And don't get me started on her daughters as they're nothing more than minor plot devices who could've been replaced by Vaggie. Speaking of which...

Vaggie is based on two harmful Latina tropes and one harmful LGBTQ+ trope with these being the "Feisty" Latina, the Crazed Latina, and the Man Hating Lesbian. Whenever the "feisty" Latina is done in media, she's almost never actually feisty but rather plain bitchy. The word feisty is used because the show runners tend to want the audience to like this character as, to them, she's (somehow), "a woman who knows what she wants and how to take charge." We see this several times when Vaggie isn't interacting with Charlie though I would say the times that this backfired the most was in Episode #01 and Episode #04. Back in Episode #01 when Vaggie was working on the hotel's commercial she wants Alastor to help out with it. Mind you, she previously slandered the advertisement he had originally made for the hotel so I don't know why she wants his help with making a new one in the first place but nonetheless Alastor basically says, "Yeah. No. I'm not gonna help you cause you already know I hate modern media and you clearly didn't like what I had planned so figure it out." Now, instead of ending the conversation and leaving the man who wants no part in this alone, she holds up the camera that she has in her hands and not only films him but actively mocks him too. This isn't a "bold move" like I've seen people claim it to be, it was simply moronic since she already knew he was an Overlord that's killed and fought people over MINOR INCONVENIENCES. After this the two strike a deal which is another plain stupid move on Vaggie's part as that's only going to come back and bite her in the ass later on in the series. Meanwhile, in Episode #04, she told Husk to go after Angel Dust even though... A.) Going after the residents isn't in his job description. B.) If ANYONE is going after the residents it should probably be THE MANAGER since it's their job to make sure that everything between the staff AND customers is good. C.) She KNOWS that Husk has been sexually and physically harassed by Angel in the past as not only has she SEEN it but she's TOLD Angel to stop harassing the staff. I guess the safety of your co-workers doesn't matter though if Charlie's sad. D.) Lastly, I swear that there was a rule that was established early on about NOT FORCING RESIDENTS TO STAY AT THE HOTEL. Like, am I tripping or did the series retcon that super fast??? Anyway, the point is that the series has Vaggie acting like a snide bitch when she's interacting with anyone other than Charlie. This "feisty" Latina stereotype goes hand in hand with the crazed Latina. The crazed Latina trope is when a Latina will throw hands for the dumbest of reasons or for little to no reason at all. It makes it seem that Latina's are overly aggressive which is how the series portrays Vaggie. She's always seen wielding an angelic spear 24/7 knowing that she can kill any resident or staff member who steps out of line with her, constantly seen threatening to hurt others with it. Out of the two racial stereotypes this one has been called out the most as it's paired with the man hating Lesbian trope because every time Vaggie's threatened to kill someone with said angelic spear, it has ALWAYS been a MALE character. Okay, now it's time to end this off by addressing the elephant in the room that is Valentino.

Oh, God. Where do I start with this failure of a character? I suppose, I'll start with the Casanova aka the Enticing Latin Lover archetype. This involves a strong suave man who's tall, dark (or I guess light purple in Val's case), and handsome (I wouldn't call him that but that's how he's portrayed in the series) as well as being full of ulterior motives! He's the sultry hypersexual Hispanic seducer that everybody can't seem to get enough of. I wouldn't have nearly as much of an issue with this as he's the Overlord of Lust but with how the stans either absolve him of or make LIGHT of his crimes solely because they think how he looks, sounds, and acts is hot (brother eugh), with the show runners encouraging stuff like that on social media (yes, I'm referring to when people were comparing Val's personality to Karen Smith from Mean Girls with Viv agreeing with it cause he's so dumb), his sole purpose is being a plot device for Angel Dust and being fetish fuel. Which really bothers me considering that a good chunk of Hazbin Hotel stans are LITERAL CHILDREN! Continuing on, we have ill tempered and idiotic Machismo/Macho Man. The show can't seem to make up its mind whether or not they want us to take Valentino seriously or not. I get what they're trying to do by making Val intimidating and cunning at one point and a "charming" himbo the next but it's done in such a jarring way that could've been easily fixed had they shown him being more creepy towards lower class demons and Sinners but have him be "charming" towards Overlords and other members of Hell's high society. Like in the show, he's openly verbally violent towards Angel Dust while Charlie is in his presence (I also hate the fact that show Charlie didn't actually do anything when she noticed that Val had hit Angel cause pilot Charlie would've thrown hands regardless of what Angel told her) and doesn't give a flying fuck when she's turning into her demon form RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM! Then there's the fact that the Hellaverse doesn't take violence seriously until it HAS to and then these moments can come across as unintentionally comedic. Case and point, when I initially saw Valentino backhand Angel Dust in Episode #04, I AUDIBLY LAUGHED. That shit SHOULD NOT have been nearly as funny as it was! It was meant to be a serious moment where the show segues into how Angel is abused at his job but there I was laughing my ass off in my room for a solid thirty seconds before I was able to regain my composure. Next up is point three about the Cholo or gangster archetype in which a Latino will wear stylish street wear clothes (similar to the outfit Val wears in Episode #04) and commit violent crimes. My previous points indirectly had me go into depth about the violent crimes part so let's move onto point four which is Val being a drug addict and drug maker. Latin characters (specifically men) have been depicted as drug dealers and druggies since AT LEAST the 1970s (it only makes it worse that Valentino supposedly died in this time period.) It's been heavily implied that the smoke from his cigarettes acts as an aphrodisiac which is why he blows it in other peoples faces so much. We see him smoking cigarettes (which contain so much God damn chemicals in them but especially nicotine) throughout the show like its nothing meaning he's gotta have a high nicotine intake (logically, he would've gotten lung cancer by now.) The last racial stereotype that they gave him is the raging alcoholic and I know that anyone can become a raging alcoholic however alcoholism is actually a very common problem among Latinos as more than 33% of them suffer from issues related to an alcohol dependency. It's an ongoing problem that many Hispanics face and seeing how Val is already shown to be a violent individual WITHOUT alcohol in his system, that's only going to make him worse and we saw that in Episode #02 when Val got more irritable and threw his drink in Vox's direction upon knowing Angel Dust was staying at the HH.

___________ People of the jury, I rest my case and I hope you all liked reading my thoughts and I'll see you later!

[justajsworkshop]

k, so i've been ruminating on the levels of creation today, primarily the first two and how this impacts how i affirm/imagine.

at the very top, we have the father: the great I AM, the divine mind, the void, source, etc. whatever label you want to use for it. this is pure is-ness: it just is. it's ultimate reality. it's all moments, all possibilities, all things superimposed over each other—everything everywhere all at one. it's existence itself, total unified fulfillment, perfect and unchanging. this is what we mean by "creation is finished." everything already exists but only in pure potential.

the only way for god to know itself as god is for god to become aware of itself and boom: we have the first manifestation of ultimate reality, the son of god, your I AM awareness. this is the second level of creation. the great I AM just is, whereas your I AM awareness is aware that it is. because in order for awareness to exist, it must be aware of something, and your I AM awareness is aware of being. it's pure beingness.

there is only one moment, one thought, one being—the great I AM—that we are experiencing from infinite vantage points. the passing of time, moving through physical reality, my fingers typing away on this keyboard, they're are all shifts in awareness to create the illusion of a linear horizontal experience within ultimate reality: it's the appearance of change in the changeless.

and the more i contemplate on this, the more i realize, understand, and accept that we've already been given everything. the kingdom is ours because we are one with the father; we are one with ultimate reality that is already all things, all moments, all possibilities. but again, these all only exist in pure potential until we choose what to call forth into our awareness, and we get to shift our awareness through this one moment in infinite different ways.

it's our free will to choose or not choose a certain experience for ourselves from the infinite menu that is god: all things, all possibilities, all potentials. not only does god always say yes to everything, but god already said yes to everything by giving you all that it is. this is why in the parable of the prodigal son, the father says, "son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours."

your I AM awareness cannot be separated from the greater "I". this is the paradoxical nature of awareness jesus referred to by saying "the father and i are one" but "the father is greater than i."

when you're saying it's already done, it's already yours, it's already true, you're not lying or stating anything untrue or unreal. that reality/moment where your desire is fulfilled already exists, and by affirming/imagining—i.e., choosing—you're putting your awareness on this fulfilled state and declaring it as yours.

in my personal experience of conscious creation, i have never manifested faster and easier when i drop all trying. the more effort i put into manifesting, the more i separate myself from what's already mine because i'm implying that there is a process or performance that must be accomplished for manifestation to take place.

and this is when manifesting feels hard and difficult to me. obviously i am desperate for immediate results because i want a reward for all the work i put into it. but what i'm doing is asking god to commend me for all my hard work when my excess effort actually boasts a lack of faith in what's already mine.

manifesting is simply being aware of your desire, and all we are is awareness. it's suppose to be effortless because it is effortless since fulfillment just is.

now when i affirm, i am affirming with the assumption that it's already been given to me (because it has), and that god has already said yes (because it has). i affirm without concern for conditions, time, appearances, or really anything to do with the physical experience because the physical experience and i are one just as i am one with the father.

it's all just one being here, and that being is you. i recognize that the physical is just the tiniest possible slice of ultimate reality and that all other possibilities are mine in an instant because it's all happening at the same time anyway. by affirming/imagining, i'm calling forth my desired experience and claiming it as mine.

repetition doesn't manifest: awareness does. and when i repeat affirmations, it's only to remind myself of what is already so, so i may keep my awareness on my desired end even when the physical limited self is trying to tell me otherwise. i let that physical self be as they are. i let them fear, i let them doubt, i let them exist without trying to change them, but while also maintaining a greater awareness and understanding that i am more than what my physical organs perceive, and what they do perceive is one of limitless possibilities, all of which are available to me in an instant with a single decision.

as i posted earlier today, it's not that conditions/circumstances don't matter or that you have to ignore them. i recognize that no condition or appearance—no matter how bleak or alarming to the physical self—can possibly limit the limitless being i truly am: god.

because through god, all things are possible. through me, all wishes are granted, all paradoxes are unified, and all fulfillment just is.

there is nothing to change. there is nothing to fix. there's only your desired experience to choose. choose it over and over and over again. because we're already persisting no matter what; you might as well persist in fulfillment.

[lu-is-not-ok]

I see! I see! then in turn, envy probably does fit better, but I'm going to give an alternate viewpoint on these sins that I think you'll find interesting.

personally, I don't think the sins involved are the primary lessons of the sinners, but can be interpreted as the failings of the antagonist. Don is more obvious, given the first kindered's "ingenious" ideas that led to his children suffering. his pride blocking the idea that this dream wouldn't work.

while for heathcliff... I doubt he'd have this much of an issue if more than one person in his life gave enough of a damn, its clear cut that the butlers didn't even bother to feed him if he weren't nelly, slothful neglect.

It's an... interesting viewpoint, I'll admit.

I can definitely see what you mean with the First Kindred's main failing being Pride. Him having excessive confidence in his plans and not pausing to hear out the grievances of his Kindreds more closely is what eventually led to everything falling apart, as he was unable to account for his own flaws and did not foresee the consequences of his actions. That is, very much, a classic Pride move for sure.

...However, I think your assessment for Heathcliff and Canto 6 has some flaws in it. Mainly because saying that "the butlers" are the antagonist of Heathcliff's story is... Did we read the same Canto?

Let's dissect this Chapter a bit to get to the bottom of this and see if there is any way for Sloth to come from a Canto 6 antagonist. For the Canto itself, there are three notable antagonists (-ish). Hindley, Nelly, and Erlking Heathcliff (with a bonus Every Catherine as part of the same archetype).

Hindley's all about bullying and hurting Heathcliff out of his own feelings of inadequacy, he feels as though his father cares more for a random kid found on the street than he cares about him, his own son. His Sins could be read as somewhere between Envy (his lack of self-worth being the core of why he lashes out) and Wrath (him feeling cornered and unloved cause him to try to change it by doing everything he can to get Heathcliff out of the picture).

Nelly is... interesting. Her colluding with Hermann is caused by her feeling like she's trapped, helpless to change her fate of being hurt by the fall-out of whatever happens between Heathcliff and Cathy in every Mirror World. This is, also, a very Wrath-coded action. However... she does accuse Heathcliff and Catherine of being too Slothful to actually communicate their feelings for each other and in the process causing harm to everyone around them. Put a pin in that, I'll come back to this later.

Then there's Erlking Heathcliff and Every Catherine, which have fairly simple motivations. They both independently came to the conclusion that they themselves are the reason why the other can never be truly happy, and so decided that the only way to fix that is to kill every Mirror version of themselves. This can be read as many things Sin-wise, primarily Gloom (sinking into the self-destructive hopelessness of being unable to find a World where they can be happy together) and Envy (lacking a sense of self-worth to the point they fully blame themselves for everything going wrong in every World).

However, while these three are the antagonists of Canto 6, they're not really antagonists of Heathcliff's past. It's... a lot harder to say if there is an exact culprit for the suffering Heathcliff went through during his time at Wuthering Heights, but I'll try.

One culprit I'd like to define as more so the environment itself rather than any specific people. Not just the butlers of the manor, but the whole Earnshaw family and the classist system they all live in. All of that in one way or another contributed to the abuse Heathcliff had to endure.

...Could you define all that Sloth? Kind of, maybe, since it's blind acceptance of the system that led to the abuse. But you could also make a strong case for Pride, since a lot of the abuse came from the people around Heathcliff treating him as a lesser being, as someone who isn't worth as much as they themselves are.

So if not any of the Canto 6 antagonists, and if not the Wuthering Heights itself, then who else could be the source of the Sloth?

This is where I'd like to take out that pin from how Nelly described both Heathcliff and Catherine as Slothful. Because, yes, I believe our Heathcliff and Catherine are in a way antagonists to their own pasts as well. Let me explain.

The miscommunication between Heathcliff and Catherine, their inability to share their feelings with each other, them resigning themselves to never be able to do so. Not only is it one of the main sources of a lot of suffering both they and people around them go through, but it's also, just as Nelly commented, very Slothful behavior.

...Which is. What I would like to say. But unfortunately, Nelly can only describe what Heathcliff and Cathy's actions seem like on the surface - in reality, the Sins that are actually on display are not Sloth.

For Heathcliff, it's Envy - he feels like he's not good enough for Cathy, and so feels like he's not worth it to confess his feelings to her.

For Catherine, it's Pride - she feels like she and Heathcliff aren't on the same level, and so feels the need to help Heathcliff become a better person and reach her level before she can even consider confesshing her feelings to him.

I really, really tried to find a way to make this theory work, cause it is a very interesting one that I think could work considering what we've learned about the Golden Boughs in Canto 7. If they feed on people's desires, it would make sense that the Sins they take on as Saplings are of those they fed from. After all, the Bough stabbed into the First Kindred very clearly sapped him of all his Pride, leading him to lose all of his confidence and belief in his dream. Like, it's too perfect for there to not be an in-universe connection!

Unless... we're looking at this all wrong. While narratively, it makes sense for Heathcliff to be the one unlocking Hokma, in-universe it could be a coincidence. After all, there was no Bough able to feed on anyone's desires in Canto 6. One got obliterated, and one got stolen.

So then what other Bough could have fed on Sloth...

...

AH FUCK YI SANG AND DONGBAEK-

IF THERE'S ANYONE WHO COULD HAVE FED A BOUGH WITH SLOTH IT WOULD BE THOSE TWO GOD FUCKING DAMNIT.

[yannaryartside]

In defense of the "I am sorry" sign

images by @drrav3nb

Been thinking about how I think their relationship got closed not despite the sign but because of it.

The "I'm sorry sign" is introduced by Carmy as a method of de-escalation of conflict in the middle of service, something that will allow the people involved to talk about the issues later. The issues are hurt feelings, unclear expectations, miscommunications, and other stuff that can happen when everybody is anxious and trying to go through service by the skin of their teeth. In the season finale, we actually see them use it in this context, but most of the season we feel they used it for things that they actually should be talking about, not just leaving for later.

The "later" part never comes. Across season 2, they used the sign to avoid discussing things they felt scared/guilty about. But, being fair, neither Carmy nor Sydney were ready to discuss what was coming between them. Carmy has depression, anxiety, and abandonment issues that he cannot even process, on top of a relationship that doesn't make him feel completely good, even if he doesn't know why because everything is so great. Sydney is jealous; we don't know if she has processed her feelings for Carmy yet. But she also was counting on him to guide her through this process, and she feels that if she fails, it will be on her, not his lack of leadership, or, yk, that she has never done anything remotely as difficult before. She is drowning in fear, and she wants some sort of support.

STOP Syd and Carmy were explosive/confrontative in expressing their frustration; Sydney is mostly implosive; she deals with her frustration in private, and it takes a lot to make her explode as the others do. She primarily deals with Carmy with bitter questions and sarcastic treatment (she is better than me), and Carmy responds with exasperated attempts to explain himself; he gets defensive the way we know he is used to defending herself in his family (fishes).

But the 'sorry sign' is actually something that they use to stop the escalation of their (personal) conflict. I think the moment they use it in "Bolognese" is a perfect example. They both use the "I am tired" explanation, which is kinda true, but they are not going to the "core" of the issue. But, if anything, they knew they were hurting each other by raising their voices and assigning blame, and they decided they didn't want to hurt each other in any way.

They applied the sorry sign to move to harmony, even with shaky bases. Is a noble intent. It is kind of amazing that by the end of this conversation the conflict is kind of left behind, and they can laught at stupid jokes again. They can be each other again, they can be what they are with each other, even if the pain/hurt is somewhat still there. After all, they are bussines partners only.

What I want to say, is that they could have easily antagonized each other this season and decided not too. I know it doesn't seem as much, but many couples struggle with this; they can take a "are you vs. me" attitude. Carmy and Sydney pause and decide to recognize the other's point of view and needs, and they set up expectations for the future. Mainly, Sydney is clear about the behaviors she will not tolerate, and Carmy expresses his intentions of not disappointing her and how important she and their relationship is to him. Idk if I am explaining it well; I like the fact that they prioritize their partnership, even if they don't know the true nature of it yet. Carmy has a lot of fault on this because, again, it feels like she is covering for him in many ways, but still, the intent is noble; there is love behind it.