yannaryartside

[yannaryartside]

A quick revision on the smoking element

Many people have commented on the subtext of Sydney and Carmen smoking together, and the fact that Sydney is taking on this unhealthy coping mechanism (for the anguish of both Richie and Carmen), but there is something else I have been thinking on.

Sydney knew Carmen was trying to stop smoking, so why did she offer him a cigar?

Since the moment Carmy quit cigarettes in S3, I didn't think for a second he was doing it for health reasons, because that shit didn't matter to him before. It could be because he wanted to take his new job as EC seriously (ECs take care that nobody sees them smoke, even if most of them are smokers, because it's their palate that guarantees the quality of the food more than anybody else). But more than anything, I thought he was using this as another way to punish himself. Smoking is a coping mechanism at the end of the day; he learned to smoke with his siblings, it's a relief, it's familiarity, it's confidentiality.

Not to mention, there have been instances of Carmen positively sharing tobacco with Syd. Someone else brought up this parallel, but after dropping Claire off at the hospital, he is smoking (maybe to calm himself from the fire feeling she gave him) and looks kinda annoyed when Claire comes back to take a hint of his cigarette. In contrast, when Sydney takes a bite of his nicotine gum without permission, Carmy smiles and they have a very comfortable exchange about it.

It's funny how she doesn't like the taste of nicotine, but she likes cigarettes later. Most people learn to smoke in social situations, so was Sydney ever part of a club enough to take part in this vice that is very common in the culinary world? It's not a coincidence she started smoking when she was totally relaxed at the party af her house, surrounded by her friends and her hero Chef Terry. Another instance of the show using smoking to show relaxation and confidentiality.

Is this also another way for her to distance herself from her father, "I'm not alone in your house" (anymore)? For Sydney, smoking was likely forbidden fruit. Her father has a machine to help him breathe while he sleeps, which was seen in their house. So, he has both respiratory and heart issues.

This show is never black and white with its symbols; smoking may not necessarily be the equivalent of any vice. I think it's mostly there to represent things that are only viable in the short term but that are understandable (and preferable) as coping mechanisms in the environment they work in.

Health implications aside, I think it's kinda beautiful that they now have a shared coping mechanism. Not to mention, if Carmen was indeed punishing himself by not having the relief of smoking, it wouldn't make sense for Sydney (his actual peace) to be the one who lets him know that it is okay to give himself space to decompress?

Another symbol here is that Sydney smokes for the first time in front of Carmen in the same scene he "crowns her" as the bear. So Sydney has become entirely the uncaged beast, the altruistic chef with unhealthy coping mechanisms he used to be (and still is, as she remembers who he is). Both Sydney and Carmen eat poorly, barely exercise, and have sleep issues. Now they are both completely the same, the only difference between them is "the good" in Sydney that Carmy keeps referencing, which he is actually terrified of. But they are now very comfortable inhabiting each other's skin, which I think helps reduce the resistance they both have towards each other. Carmy cannot see it yet, but that goodness is still in him, and it's one of the reasons the show creates so many parallels between Syd and Carmen. Twin flames.

[yannaryartside]

Why does Sydney feel like such a burden?

Because what is this?

I've wanted to discuss this for a while, but I've been struggling to choose an approach, so I'll explore the different hypotheses I have. These lines of dialogue shocked me, even though it hasn't been adequately explored by the show. If you'd like to chime in, please do.

To begin with, this internalized belief of "being a waste of space" seems to me like a smaller version of Carmy's schema; these two individuals really share the same fear of not being worthy of love. Syd appears more adjusted and capable of emotional connection, possibly because she had a secure attachment with her primary caregiver. Carmy was rejected by his mother. What was Sydney's wound, and why does it manifest this way?

The most plausible option is that she doesn't want to give people any reason to worry about her, which is evident since S1, when she refused to let Marcus help her move stuff in Brigade, not until it got overwhelming. She really doesn't want people to see her fail. She doesn't want to need anybody, "it's scary to rely on someone." Which is interesting, because she wanted to form a partnership with Carmen from the start. Did she assume that her work would be the thing that would make her a worthy partner? That Carmen, because of his reputation, would value her work over her other "flaws.' Or was working for the best DCD in America just something Sydney wanted to achieve so she could finally tell herself that she was talented, that she deserved a place in this industry?

We don't have a scene explaining what childhood wound could have instilled this belief of "being a waste of space" in her, but I assume it has to do with her mother. Even if she was very young when her mother died, children are very intuitive and can feel when things are wrong. The only memory she describes of her mother is her being surrounded by her actor friends in costume, which may indicate that her mother's death was really unexpected, and that her mother maintained a positive attitude until the very end, wanting to enjoy life with her daughter as much as possible. People can have everyday lives with lupus, maybe neither of her parents suspected she was at actual risk. Does she feel the need to keep smiling through it all because that's how her mother was? She described her to Marcus, "If she were stopped, she felt like she would get back up." Sydney also says she carries this philosophy with her.

Is this about feeling guilty for the sacrifices his father had to make to keep her? Did he have to settle for a job he wasn't exactly passionate about just because it was safe? Is that what makes Sydney so determined to make her dreams happen? So she can give her father the comfortable living they didn't have growing up? There is even the possibility of Sydney's mother dying because they could not afford the care she needed, which, of course, instills a negative feeling about money and survival instincts.

Is this why she was so convinced he caused her father's heart attack? because she feels guilty of all the efforts he has made in her name, to the point of dying? Kids sometimes pick up beliefs that have no logic, just because they felt that way in a moment of crisis.

She said she wanted to make him proud, which reminded me of Carmy saying he just wanted a "good job" from Michael. Sydney wants to be the reason her father is okay. She has found a calling in food, but it's an unconventional path, which's why she is so stressed about being in a bad financial situation. Her calling is also something she perceives to be a burden, which is very common for young artists.

The other possibility is that Syd was somehow a difficult child. The early trauma of losing her mother could have installed fears in her that manifested academically or socially. Even though she is very successful socially, her rejection by the Beef crew could be a parallel of her being treated similarly in other spaces, and she sometimes is very insecure socially (racism and misogyny included). Honestly, that headcanon of her being autistic could very much fit here. Autistic children who end up being high-masking individuals tend to feel like a burden, because it took time and care from their caregivers to help them remotely achieve things that were easier for other kids. That "being a waste of time and energy" feling is very much in tune with having a disability.

[yannaryartside]

This!!!

syd's who the fuck has time for gestures and chef terry's i don't do favors

[yannaryartside]

ATP I think either Molly and JAW are acting the lack of chemistry or Molly was selected precisely because they don’t have it. I saw shameless, Jeremy can have chemistry with a rock. To be fair their “affectionate moments” always hit harder on Jeremy’s side, Molly just stared like a Barbie robot.

sydney and claire have more chemistry in like <10 minutes of 4x6 'Sophie' than claire and carmy the entire show ngl

[yannaryartside]

I really like how he takes a break before saying, "I like this," because that means he sat in the feeling of actual peace she gave him right there in that moment and recognized it as such.

I'm starting to think Carmy's love towards Sydney is like when your body is telling you something feels good, like the food that you can feel making you healthier and stronger (like a soup when you been sick for a while), vs the food that you have an allergic reaction to (aka Claire making him feel like he is on fire).

I like this!

[yannaryartside]

Messy

Yes i did two fanarts in the span of idk 4 hours what about it. /j

trying to let go of perfectionism and tbh i really like how this turned out so !! hope you enjoyed it as well <3

[yannaryartside]

Something I was thinking about @freedelusionshere theory on Claire being the one that suplied Michael with the painkillers, is that, diving into it, there is a chance Michael got addicted to them by accident, wich is important to understand for his character. Both Carmen and Nat have a fear of substances, why wound not Michael had it too?

There has been a large amount of people who became addicted to opioids while receiving treatment for an illness or injury that required painkillers (what is often called the opioid epidemic as I understand it, the way pharmaceutical companies corrupt the system). So, did Michael had issues getting new prescriptions for painkillers and went to Claire, who didnt suspected he had an addiction? Maybe she ignored the signs because of her feelings for him? Did she do it because she wanted her to need her and maybe because of that he would return her feelings?

Did Michael ultimately hated himself just for becoming an addict and thought there was no hope for him?

[yannaryartside]

Oh no you're perfectly correct

Carmy is 1# certified munch in all fiction

someday, when they’re happy, Syd will wear this shirt around the house or will leave this review for him

[yannaryartside]

The way Carmy would buy this FOR her

He would also give her a teddy bear for “no reasons” and spend all his time thinking of she sleeps with the shirt and the teddy in her arms while thinking of him.

someday, when they’re happy, Syd will wear this shirt around the house or will leave this review for him

[yannaryartside]

Op this opens a new layer in the story

From Mickey bear to Sydney bear

I could literally write PARAGRAPHS ab these parallelsssss. (Creds in the videos)

Ohy god this is art.

[yannaryartside]

"Carmy wants this role for himself" my heart

I remember now; she told Marcus in S1 that if she had given herself a moment to stop, she was afraid she wouldn't have kept going. She also said her mom was like that.

So, is this all a way for Syd to try to be like her mom, despite how taxing it is, and how is a wall between her and other people "Its scary to rely on someone."

Carmy doesn't know Sydney but he knows her, and what I mean is he knows how Sydney responds emotionally, especially around vulnerability or discomfort.

Sydney pleads with Carmy not to tell anyone about the possibility that she may lose her dad. You would think it's work-related that she doesn't want her coworkers to know. Instead, it's about not wanting people to make a big deal or display of worries.

Later on, Carmy declines Richie's idea to send a gift basket to Sydney and her dad. While Richie believes Carmy is simply dismissing the idea, the truth is that Carmy knows Sydney. He understands that Sydney does not want that kind of sentiment, which is why he chooses not to go along with the suggestion.

There's trauma imprinted in Syd seeing people give so much attention to the loss of her mother and the worrying. She hates the big flowers, big displays of funerals, and the constant reminder that it isn't okay. I'm guessing that if Sydney acknowledges to people that it's not okay, she will collapse and won't get back up. It's why she has to keep going.

She may not share this with everyone, and it’s something that people often overlook, but Carmy notices. Even though Sydney still has some walls up, Syd still nearly lays herself bare enough for Carmy to feel concerned. For everyone else, bringing flowers and balloons isn’t necessary, and Carmy will make sure it doesn't happen, but Carmy wants that role for himself.

[yannaryartside]

Marcus may be bi, the way he and Luca act towards each other, he may just want to be Chester's friend.

If Chester indeed has a crush on Marcus, it's kinda funny that they used to watch Love Island together.

Chester is living his own version of Love Island: Chester likes Marcus. Marcus and Luca like each other but we don't know if some of them are still in denial or in a closet made of glass, Marcus had a crush on Sydney. Luca is smitten by Sydney. Chester confesses to Sydney that he loves Marcus.

[yannaryartside]

Omg! The parallels of Sydney showing up right in cue! Amazing catch and breakthrough

What the wedding scene also shows again is how much Carmy is willing to force the relationship with Claire, he is ignoring how many times she mocks his fears, probably because he is in an all time self deprecating narrative that she follows trough, but also because he wants the relationship to grow more than it deserves organically.

He thinks that vulnerability is a straight path to connection and it really isn't.

Case in point, Syd and him have a true connection despite him being terrified to let her in, and he trauma dumps in Claire trying to fabricate a connection but Claire shows again and again how little she cares for his struggle as long as she is getting the emotional payoff she wants.

Remember, under this table, people will begin to share their fears. We’ve reached a point where Carmy acknowledges his true fear, which is what he's always dreamed about —the bear (Sydney). The hint is that, just as Claire mocks him for being scared, Sydney shows up.

This isn't the first time they use this comedic timing for Carmy and the audience when Sydney arrives on cue, like a case of speak of the devil moment. Or a speaking of what Carmy fears the most moment.

Another hint that Sydney is the one he fears the most is the next scene in 4x07, where Carmy shares with Claire the day he received the call about Mikey.

Claire acknowledges that it's terrifying for Carmy to be vulnerable and share his feelings about Mikey with her. She believes that being vulnerable with her is what scares him, and now she wonders if it's still terrifying for him. She asks him if it is still scary, implying that now that they have moved past his fear of her, he should feel more comfortable opening up.

But she's not the person he fears discussing Mikey's death with, nor is she the one who embodies greatness, fun, and a girlfriend. Because Carmy acknowledges this, he now responds with a truthful no that Claire is not terrifying. He seems almost at peace and lighter that he's named the fear and knows it, and he's doing something about it. He's breaking a pattern so he can run into Sydney.

[yannaryartside]

They use the partner and friend label because they are neither and they want to be something bigger than any of those things and neither of them is prepared for it yet.

They communicate as partners and they are in sync as friends.

But has Syd let Carmy be the shoulder she can cry on facing the fear if losing her father and failing? No. Has Carmy let Syd see him fully? No, he pleaded her the moment she read him and was compassionate of him in 4x10. perhaps because he knows she already sees him better than anybody and he is terrified of that.

I would love to hear how Sydney & Carmy see each other with detail.

Carmy obviously sees her as a friend but why? What friendship stuff have they done?

Sydney sees him as a partner but low key what partner stuff have they done?

[yannaryartside]

Also!: the bear Sydney gave Carmy the home that Michael wanted for him. Carmy talked about their restaurant like it would be a magic castle for them to finally be happy together. And Sydney was the one to make that halppen.

“Every chance of any kind of good started when you walked in”

“And any chance of it surviving its with you”

And she came for him, after eating his heart in the hamachi dish. Sydney came into that place looking for Carmen.

Carmy dreamed of Sydney the day he met her, as if he had a premonition.

He dreams of her on the bridge where Mikey took his own life, a message from the universe or Mikey himself, that there is good after this, he just has to unlock it so it can consume him, no matter the fear.

If we analyze this dream, he’s walking on a bridge that carries the weight of loss. He should be focused on this bridge and what it symbolizes, but instead, he’s focused on this creature being here where his brother died. He’s drawn to setting it free. It’s as if he understands that he has locked the bear away for some time, and now he has no choice but to set it free into his life and psyche.

He has another dream about her, when Sydney walks away after the Review, and Carmy is performing in this dream, feeling overwhelmed. Suddenly, he freezes in fear, unable to perform once the bear is watching him from behind the script.

He can no longer hide behind his cooking career or Mikey to avoid the bear, Sydney, the good..

She's so great it scares the shit out of me. This is the biggest show, don't tell that Syd is the one he's been scared of all along.

[yannaryartside]

And Michael knew too. He wanted to call the restaurant the bear so Carmy would have the bear with him even without Michael.

Carmy dreamed of Sydney the day he met her, as if he had a premonition.

He dreams of her on the bridge where Mikey took his own life, a message from the universe or Mikey himself, that there is good after this, he just has to unlock it so it can consume him, no matter the fear.

If we analyze this dream, he’s walking on a bridge that carries the weight of loss. He should be focused on this bridge and what it symbolizes, but instead, he’s focused on this creature being here where his brother died. He’s drawn to setting it free. It’s as if he understands that he has locked the bear away for some time, and now he has no choice but to set it free into his life and psyche.

He has another dream about her, when Sydney walks away after the Review, and Carmy is performing in this dream, feeling overwhelmed. Suddenly, he freezes in fear, unable to perform once the bear is watching him from behind the script.

He can no longer hide behind his cooking career or Mikey to avoid the bear, Sydney, the good..

She's so great it scares the shit out of me. This is the biggest show, don't tell that Syd is the one he's been scared of all along.

[yannaryartside]

What was Carmy looking for at the FLW house?

This scene is meant to be a point of reference, almost like an enlightenment moment. Maybe a hint to Carmen's future career path/affiliation. But after thinking about it for a while, it feels more like a point of regression than progression.

The first thing that stuck out as odd for me was the framing of these two scenes.

Now, in cinematic language, looking to the right side of the frame is symbolic of looking to the future, and looking to the left side symbolizes looking at the past.

What used to be one of my favorite animated series, Arcane, used this resource to communicate subtext in a parallel between Ambessa (left) and her daughter Mel (right). The context is that Mel just inherited her mother's kingdom, but in the gift at the left, Ambessa was using the war to set her kingdom on a quest for vengeance, but when Mel became queen, she was ready to let go of revenge and look to the future. They are even standing in the same spot in the frame, just looking in different directions. Much like Carmy's scenes here.

So when Carmy is at Noma, he is hopeful and excited for his future, but when he is at the Frank Lloyd Wright house, he is looking at his past. The two scenes also show a parallel in Carmy choosing a career path or point of reference, since he spends most of S4 deciding to quit cooking. But Carmy is not there just to admire the craft of creating a space; he is contemplating a home.

He reminisces in the dining room, and he touches the stove, thinking about the fact that Wright built that home for his family. We see pictures of the Christmas tree (Fishes) and a mother and their kid.

It reminded me of the way Carmy sees his own childhood home later in the season.

So, basing on this parallel (and my own feelings on Donna's apology and Carmens present depression), I think Carmy getting dragged to that house wasn't supposed to happen. Sydney told him to get it over with, but Donna apologized (it's never over with her), and he got to make something beautiful for her.

Two things are happening here. He is having two simultaneous character arcs. He gets to forgive his mother and share something with her, but he is, at the same time, getting more stuck in his core wound. Because that core wound happened in that house. Michael died because he never got to live a life outside that house, so he never learned ways to treat the wound.

Enough time has passed (and Carmen has forgotten enough things) for him to try to appreciate the house as the quiet space it is now and thinking is a good thing.

But he suppressed those memories out of trauma. He has an idea of a family and wants to project it somewhere, but more importantly, he wants to live the fantasy of getting Donna's love and approval, thinking that would heal him; it won't. He hasn't healed, and therefore cannot see these memories and space as the booby traps they are. It's not a coincidence that he also calls Claire before going into the house, because she was also a fantasy of his past, and she even has a physical object of hers in his room at the house. Aka @thoughtfulchaos773 skeleton in the closet theory.

As long as he is in those spaces he is gonna regress to the mentalities he had inside them. The need for Donna's and Michael's approval, the self-hate, the lack of direction. This spaces are haunted and he needs therapy so it doesn't affect him anymore. Even if he is going to continue to have a relationship with Donna in the future, healing has to reframe his perspective.