#please i need something to cope with my burnout

[rabid-orannge]

please consider reblogging for sample size, id really appreciate it if you do. no pressure, ofc

[pierswife]

You see, the real April Fool's joke was Vash's placement on my F/O list.

This right here? A farce.

Now this? This is the truth.

[theambitiouswoman]

Do you really love yourself?

Many times in the past, I believed I was operating out of self-love. However, it was only when I began focusing on personal growth and engaging in shadow work and inner healing that I came to understand that my previous perception was not accurate.

Sometimes, we believe we're being kind to ourselves because we do things that feel good or seem helpful at first. We might do these things because we want to feel better or think they're good for us.

To become aware that something might not be truly self loving, we need to pay attention to how things make us feel in the long run. If something we're doing ends up making us feel unhappy, stressed, or even harms us over time, that's a sign that it might not be coming from genuine self love. So, it's important to regularly check in with our feelings and reflect on whether our actions are bringing us real and lasting happiness and well-being.

These are some examples you may relate to, where we might think we're operating out of self-love, but it may not truly be the case:

Self-Care:

Binge watching TV shows for hours, thinking it's self-care, but it leads to neglecting other responsibilities.

Regularly indulging in unhealthy foods as a form of self-care, but it negatively impacts physical well-being.

Spending excessive amounts on shopping to feel better momentarily, mistaking it for self-care, when it strains finances.

Oversleeping every day, believing it's self-care, but it disrupts daily routines and productivity.

Isolating yourself from others under the guise of self-care, but it can worsen feelings of loneliness.

Skipping regular exercise, thinking you're prioritizing relaxation, but it affects overall health in the long run.

Using substances like alcohol to cope with stress, thinking it's self-care, when it may lead to dependency.

Personality:

Constantly seeking validation from others to feel worthy, assuming it's part of your personality, but it indicates low self-esteem.

Always being the peacemaker in conflicts, believing it's your personality, but it might be suppressing your true feelings.

Refusing to ask for help in any situation, thinking it's part of your personality, but it can hinder growth.

Being overly competitive and comparing yourself to others, thinking it's just your personality, but it can lead to dissatisfaction.

Being excessively introverted to the point of avoiding social interactions, thinking it's part of your personality, but it may contribute to isolation.

Always putting others' needs before your own, assuming it's your personality, but it could be detrimental to your well-being.

Constantly seeking new experiences and never committing to anything, believing it's your personality, but it might hinder progress.

Career:

Overworking and not taking breaks, assuming it's necessary for career success, but it leads to burnout.

Staying in a job you hate because it's what you're used to, thinking it's for the sake of career stability, but it prevents growth.

Avoiding asking for promotions or raises, assuming it's humility, but it might hold you back professionally.

Pursuing a career path solely for financial gain, thinking it's practical, but it can result in dissatisfaction.

Accepting workplace mistreatment in the name of job commitment, thinking it's dedication, but it's detrimental to mental health.

Focusing solely on climbing the corporate ladder, believing it's the key to success, but it may lead to neglecting other important aspects of life.

Not pursuing opportunities for skill development, thinking it's contentment, but it can hinder career advancement.

Romantic Relationships:

Ignoring your own needs to constantly please your partner, believing it's love, but it leads to codependency.

Staying in a toxic relationship because you're afraid of being alone, thinking it's love, but it harms your well-being.

Sacrificing your own dreams and goals for your partner's aspirations, mistaking it for love, when it hinders personal growth.

Avoiding conflicts at all costs, assuming it's love for peace, but it prevents healthy communication.

Idealizing your partner and overlooking their flaws, thinking it's love, but it prevents realistic understanding.

Rushing into a new relationship immediately after a breakup, thinking it's moving on, but it might be avoiding emotions.

Disregarding your own values to align with your partner's, believing it's love, when it compromises your authenticity.

Friendships:

Going along with friends' decisions even when you disagree, assuming it's loyalty, but it might lead to resentment.

Pretending to enjoy activities you dislike to fit in, thinking it's maintaining friendships, but it's not authentic.

Ignoring your own needs to help friends excessively, believing it's friendship, when it impacts your own well-being.

Staying friends with people who consistently bring you down, thinking it's loyalty, but it negatively affects your self-esteem.

Avoiding confrontation with friends, assuming it's maintaining harmony, but it might lead to unresolved issues.

Letting others take advantage of your kindness, thinking it's friendship, when it's actually being taken for granted.

Faking interest in others' conversations to avoid feeling left out, thinking it's friendship, but it prevents genuine connections.

Personal Growth:

Staying in your comfort zone and avoiding challenges, thinking it's self-preservation, when it hinders progress.

Setting unrealistic goals for personal development, believing it's ambition, but it can lead to disappointment.

Constantly seeking external validation for your progress, assuming it's self-improvement, when it should come from within.

Overloading your schedule with self-help activities, thinking it's maximizing growth, but it might cause overwhelm.

Avoiding reflection on your mistakes and shortcomings, thinking it's self-compassion, when it prevents learning.

Perpetually focusing on your flaws without celebrating achievements, thinking it's humility, but it can lead to low self-esteem.

Ignoring your emotional needs in favor of pushing through challenges, assuming it's resilience, when it might hinder emotional well-being.

Physical Health:

Skipping Meals to Lose Weight: You might think that skipping meals will help you lose weight quickly, but it can lead to nutritional deficiencies and harm your body's energy levels.

Overexercising: Working out excessively with no rest can seem like a way to get fit, but it can lead to injuries, exhaustion, and even weakened immunity.

Crash Diets: Trying extreme diets that drastically cut out food groups might seem like a fast way to lose weight, but they often lack important nutrients and can be harmful to your body.

Ignoring Sleep: Prioritizing work or entertainment over sleep might seem productive, but sleep is crucial for your body to recover and function well.

Relying on Supplements Alone: Thinking that supplements can replace a balanced diet might seem convenient, but they're meant to complement, not replace, healthy eating.

Ignoring Pain: Believing that toughing it out through pain or discomfort is a sign of strength, but it's important to listen to your body and seek medical attention when needed.

Not Staying Hydrated: Forgetting to drink enough water might not seem like a big deal, but proper hydration is vital for many bodily functions and overall well-being.

[koolades-world]

this was originally a request and i accidently got rid of it i think? i'm not really sure what i did but it's gone im literally so upset

so basically i posted sunday's post by accident, and only realized after i clicked on the next request so in a panic, i clicked off without thinking about it to do I wasn't sure at the time. i eventually resolved to just let that be and move sunday's original post to monday, but when i came back looking for the thing i had tried to start it was gone :(((

I'm so sorry to this anon they said some very sweet things about how visiting my blog was comforting and that they liked how i penned the characters and i just wanted to say thank you for that and hope you're reading <333

please enjoy!

Mc with burnout symptoms

Lucifer

when he notices you exhibiting the symptoms he knew from experience, he's quick to check up on you

he immediately talks to you about it and works with you to walk you through what he does in hopes of helping

his method of coping is meditation and yoga

if you're up for trying it, you can make this a thing you do together

Mammon

lately, he's been running into you more and more awake at three in the morning on RAD nights

he's awake just because he has a bad sleep schedule, but you're not like this at the frequency he's been seeing you at

one night, he prepares a cup noodles for both of you so you can chat over something you both love

he deeply cares about you since he feels as you're the first person to express how much you love him, so anything he can do, he will do

Levi

it's scary to him to being to see you echo the negativity he knows so well

he notices you begin to lose passion for the things that you loved before

he felt lost at first, but he knew that you needed his support so he stepped up for you

he lets you know he's willing to chat about it and will help you out however he can

Satan

while he doesn't catch on right away, he does notice your change in behavior

he does frantic research until he thinks he's figured out why you're acting different

he tries his best to subtly make changes in your life, such as making an effort to get to bed early with you and taking the scenic route home to enjoy the nature

when you inevitably notice, he lets you in on what he did, and how even after you overcome the burnout, you can keep up these habits if it makes you happy

Asmo

he noticed your newfound irritability before you did

when he came to talk to you about it, it was then you realized you had burnout

while he knows pampering you can't solve every problem, he loves to make you feel special and to help you relax

the two of you can go talk to solomon about it as soon as possible to ask for his help

Beel

when he notices the burnout symptoms, he didn't know what is was at the time

but he did know that sometimes he saw the same things in lucifer

so, he did what he does with lucifer: do some fun exercise together!

not only do the two of you get more time together, he just wants to help you and is doing it how he knows best

Belphie

watching you slowly being to just lay around like him was almost scary

the onset of creeping negativity wasn't like you

he resolved to help you find a way to work through it together

anything that you tried, he would do too to give you a little extra motivation, even if it's something he would never normally do

[astroyongie]

Stray Kids April Reading 2024

note: please take my words with a grain of salt

Bangchan

Love: It does look like Chan was able to get closer to his crush and that things have been developing so far, however there’s still a lot of miscommunication and not enough emotional connection between the two. Chan might be trying too hard as well, and not listening to his crush's need before engaging themselves in a possible relationship. it feels like his crush isn't in a relationship anymore and be might the reason why 

Career: there’s a lot happening in their career, either the preparation of new music, preparations for new tours, ect that is putting Chan in a more complicated position because he lacks some foresight in some situations. he has been having a hard time adjusting to everything that has been happening on his life. he also wants to stay o the same path instead of trying new things like some members have been asking for 

Self: he is doing okay, both physically and mentally. he has been working  a lot on his inner self and on his self worth and trust. At the moment he believes that he is able to conquer anything and despite these initial fears. Chan has also been turning more into faith when it comes to managing his fears of the unknown 

Minho

Love: Boy is frustrated as hell. I believe that he is still in a  relationship with their partner but that things haven't been the same since september. they haven't seen each other much outside of their work which also makes things complicated (due to the lack of time). His partner is also putting a lot of red light on Minho’s actions, which makes him hasty in a sense. there’s high chances the relationship won't work 

Career: at least in his work space things have been doing well and more healthy. Minho has been helping his teammates a lot and he has finally found a healthy way to cope with everything while being productive. he is also happy with how things are turning out of the group. he got especially close to the younger members 

Self: I still believe that he suffers a lot with his mental health (and his relationship also doesn't help him at all). he is in a vulnerable position emotionally and he gets easily overwhelmed and sensitive. there’s way too much grief he needs to work on 

Changbin

Love: single as always, not looking for any relationship at the moment changbin is already battling against his own mind and his own self. He was however a lot of inner turmoils because it feel like he does have a crush on someone but he isn't exploiting it because he understands that he isn't on a good place to engage relationships 

Career: Things are complicated as well. I don't think Changbin has been having the best relationships with his teammates but also with the people he has been working with. That is because his relationships are usually filled with jealousy and sabotaging from other people and it has impacted a lot on his capacity of trusting people around him. I believe at the moment, the environment he is in and the career itself is the most toxic place for Changbin to be which is really sad

Self: without any surprise, hsi mental health hasn't improved. I sense some depressive energy around him, but also more of dark energy and thoughts surrounding him this probably linked to his work , his self worth and an overall burnout). JYP should pay more attention to him and allow him to rest

Hyunjin

Love: Okay so lmao this is a huge thing but take it LIGHTLY!. It does seem like Hyunjin and his crush have finally parted ways. To prove his point hyunjin is currently seeing someone else (it looks like this person is an idol as well) and they have been trying to get something out of here. now in my opinion, he doesn't have feelings for this person but that is probably trying to move in by using this person while also showing his crush that “he doesn't need them”

Career: career wise things seem to be going well for him. one a first instance his relationship with the members seem to be going well and also his sponsor has been also to get him another exclusive contract (so there’s chances to see Hyunjin from April-June to travel somewhere for his endorsement or for some type of public appearance). he getting the bag and the connections 

Self: Despite all of it, I think Hyunjin is also in a dark place at the moment. Firstly because he is trying to portray himself as someone he isn't and also because he is using his wealth to protect himself and to create an image that doesn't suit him. but he is hungry for change in his life which is making him take reckless decisions 

Han

Love: the relationship he had in September is finished now. things didn't work well and the co dependency was becoming toxic and his partner took the decision to call it quits. however Han is upset about it and isnt accepting the break up very well (he probably still is in denial about the whole thing as well)

Career: he has been feeling lonely lately. there’s a chance that Hna has been self isolating himself from the members and also has been procrastinating when it comes to work (like for example husband been writing his music or hasn't been contributing a lot artistically speaking) because he just isn't feeling the spark on it lately

Self: Emotionally there’s a lot happening and i think that Han needs to work on his emotions and also let go of things that isn't serving well (and in this same case, accepting that his relationship wasn't going to work no matter what he did). he is probably very dispirited and struggling to push forward 

Felix

Love: Listen y’all.. this guy is also in a very new relationship that started very recently. I have no idea who the person is and how the relationship is going exactly because I didn't get much information. All I can say is that Felix seems to have switched his whole personality (this person isn't the type of person i ever thought he would go for) so I wonder if this is an experiment or if in contrary there are really feelings here.

Career: He hasn’t been talking much with his members either, and has kept an introverted self around them mostly because there’s some members he doesn't want to talk with (cough cough). in any case i believe that he is overwhelmed and way too overwork to actually focus on things properly 

Self: Everything that he has been speaking on social media is a simple side of his idol image. It does seem like Felix is refuging in his idol image because it's the only thing that has been protecting him from the reality of his life. his self expression feels pushy and fake and i wonder if his love life, his whale drastic change is due to something hat has happened this last weeks

Seungmin

Love: Seungmin is still dating the same person however it does seem that lately he has been rather moody about his love life. that mostly because he has a sense of extreme jealousy toward his partner and he doesn't know how to deal with it. Instead of communicating he has been lashing out and just is unrealistic with his own thoughts. there’s the need of him to come down from his delusions 

Career: There has been a conflict between him and another member (I couldn't figure out who) which has provoked some tension in the group. although the problem as been fixed by the management team, Seungmin still holds a few grudges that he hasn't processed 

Self: Other than that, he is doing okay emotionally and physically. he is happy with the life he has and despite the stuff that sometimes happen he is able to regulate his emotions well. he just needs sometimes, a little time to figure it out 

IN

Love: still single and still enjoying his life as a boy of his age. Jeongin isn't interested in anyone, he has a lot of flings opportunities and people around him love him easily. honestly he is just a young boy who is living a life of a person single of his age which is actually healthy 

Career: Boyis thriving on his career, he has the good people around him and he has also a good relationship with everyone he works with. his sponsor is also doing wonders when it comes to Joenging’s lifestyle which is a good thing. he is overall happy with his career life 

Self: He has been doubting a little about the honesty of some people around him but he tries to hide it. I think Jeongin is also going through some sensitive stuff and things that make him a little more immature and emotional but this is also linked to his young age and lack of experiences.

[imactuallyacartooncharacter]

They're going somewhere fancy or something and Marcy's wondering how long they'll last (and Bonnie doesn't have a single thought in her mind).

I also decided to use this drawing as an opportunity to share some of my thoughts about this au.

- So, first of all, her dragon state is a response to extreme stress exposure; it's the way her body (and brain) found do cope with it since she's always overworking herself (I guess kinda like burnout?);

- when she's in this state, it's not just her appearence that changes, her behaviour and her perception of things also change drastically, she's a literal dragon, so she acts really animal like; she was very scaredy at first but it didn't take long for her to start recognizing her friends and being comfortable around them;

- at first, her friends were really worried and were trying really hard to find a way to change her back, but then they realized that this state wasn't harmful to her at all, and more than that, it felt like she needed that, so they came to the conclusion that she would change back when she was ready to do so, and that in the meantime all they could do was to look after her and make sure she's okay and safe;

So basically, there's some stuff going on but mostly everyone's just vibing (also, this was the first time i attempted to do shading that actually looked decent, please be nice about it).

[threecheersforsuccess]

I've been yapping for too many years, so I need a living masterpost of the guides and blogs from my Tumblr and Instagram. I plan to create more long-form content in the upcoming months, and I will re-do some of the prompts listed. I feel some of my old work might be outdated, so please take my wording with a chunk of salt.

I'll update my with my content as I go.

Stuff from 2024

♡ What's in my bag? (2024)

My Motivation Education Video Series (2022-2023)

♡ Part 0: Something Much Needed Among Students: Motivation ♡ Part 1: Bare Bones Definition of Motivation ♡ Part 2: Self-efficacy, I think ♡ Part 3: Where is the control? ♡ Part 4: Reward or Autopilot ♡ Part 5: Determination to Continue ♡ Part 6: Personal Interest ♡ Part 7: Outside The Model ♡ Part 8: Where is the willpower? ♡ Part 9: Is stress even a bad thing? Note: I stopped because I did not like the short video format. I'm not sure if I may pick this up again, but I do think the lessons I learned from my readings are pretty neat :)

5am.Raining's Studying Challenge (2022)

Note: A challenge led by my cool mutual 5am.raining on Instagram. I slowly figure out how to make videos. It's a little wonky at the beginning, but I find my style! I made these posts in 2022 ♡ Poorly Filmed Day in My Life! ♡ My Studying Role Model... Haruhi from Ouran... ♡ Fave Leader in My Field: Carol Dweck ♡ What gets me in the mood to study? ♡ What I want to do with my degree... ♡ My Fave Reading Assignment ♡ Study Tunes ♡ How to get back into reading books ♡ Favorite study supplies ♡ Planning Routine (2022 version) ♡ Organizing My Desk ♡ What's in my backpack? ♡ Inspiring Film or Doc on My Field ♡ Imposter Syndrome ♡ "Study Buddy" ♡ Coping with Long Study Sessions

Flipd Productivity and Motivation Challenge Blogs

Note: I yapped so hard I won the productivity challenge. I wrote these around junior year of college (2021). ♡ Long-Term Destination, Short-Term Motivation: Living in The Moment ♡ Embedding Self-forgiveness in Your Self-Care ♡ Study Essentials ♡ The Importance of Play and Breaks ♡ Quote of Week Analysis: Self-Acceptance ♡ How I Plan My Everyday ♡ The Biggest Time Management Misconception I'm Trying to Get Over ♡ Recognizing Burnout (and Listening to Yourself) ♡ Building an Academic Support System ♡ Ways to Make Yourself Take Breaks ♡ The Challenges of a Positive Mindset ♡ How I Build Habits (based on James Clear's Atomic Habits)

Diana's Studying Challenge (2021)

Note: A challenge lead by my cool mutual dianas.desk on Instagram. I made these posts in 2021. Day 1: Challenge Introduction Day 2: What Gets Me Motivated Day 3: Cleaning My Desk Day 4: Study Tunes/Songs I Listen and Avoid Day 5: Current Books I'm Reading Day 6: Relaxation! Arknights Projekt Red Bullet Journal Spread Day 7: My Happy Place Day 8: Week Reflection Day 9: How I Plan Day 10: My Summer 2021 Work Routine Day 11: My Desk Essentials Day 12: Study Snack (Natto) Day 13: Digital or Paper Notes? Which is Better? Day 14: How I Self-Care Day 15: My School Bag Day 16: Proudest Achievement Day 17: Most Favorite Productivity App/Website Blocker Day 18: Work Buddies Day 19: Inspirational Quotes Day 20: My Favorite Place to Work Day 21: #MessyDesk Day 22: Guilty Pleasure Day 23: My Favorite Study Accounts Day 24: Study Methods I Do Not Like Day 25: Trying out a new place to work? Day 26: Part 2 of My Unconventional Study Tips (same as above) Day 27: My Outfit Day 28: Making a Gratitude List Day 29: My Aspirations Day 30: Today I learned… Day 31: September Goals

My Study Tips

Note: I wrote many of these either in 2020 or very early on (2017-2018). Super old stuff. ♡ Unconventional Study Tips Part 1 + Part 2 ♡ One Effective Memorization Tip ♡ Dealing with Bad Grades: What I Do ♡ How to get 800 on the SAT in Math and Full Points on Grammar ♡ Causes of Procrastination + Methods for Each ♡ How to Study When Unmotivated ♡ Making Your Discord Study Space ♡ Ways to Go to Bed Early ♡ My Super Ultimate Guide to AP Calc AB and BC ♡ Using Your Phone Productively (2018)

Journaling

♡ How I Journal (2017) ♡ How I Use My Notebooks (2018) ♡ How to Keep a Daily Journal (2020) ♡ How to Get into Creative Journaling (2022)

Dividers by @fairytopea

[cjoat-boost]

March 4, 2024 Edit of this still relevant post from February 27, 2024

For those that view any of my online presences (including my blogs)…Um, this is something for you to know.

Please save this post so it doesn’t get buried by queue.

My& Current Health Situation

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I wish to communicate this to y’all now so that…I don’t end up worrying anyone when this happens. It may have been noticeable by some folks that I’m dragging, heavily. I’m not having a good time right now with my body. With this comes with an onion of issues detailing certain aspects of what I’m going through.

I know I have a lot of obligations. Not only as a creative and content creator; but as a friend, a mentor, Guardian or even older peer, and myself. I’ve neglected myself for too long. I have been noticing my vitality decrease; and my CFS and POTS flaring up further.

Social Justice is something I’m always perceiving and sensitive to; and as such, the strain I’ve noticed too late has been worsening. Includes many emotional meltdowns and outbursts from me that I can no longer control or hold back.

Trying to figure out how to exactly sort through the mass tangles of my traumatized emotional and mental state isn’t as simple as I hoped for me. While I’m creatively burned out, I am suffering Autistic burnout. A double whammy of all things.

I’m finding myself getting “stuck,” unable to physically move for hours at a time. I’d move upstairs to eat something but end up being there for what’s normally an half hour task…for nearly 2+ hours. Even so, trying to force movement to do tasks that is considered “everyone can do these” is mentally painful and physically locking. Even if I have to desperately use the bathroom when I’m about to fall asleep, my headmates (AKA alters) have to switch to co-front or “snatch me back” in order to get my body moving. That’s with the sudden rocket spike in heart rate and blood pressure, and loss of balance (at the very least).

I’m already struggling to cope with many things due to the fact that I haven’t been able to draw much at all; or create anything and write anything. Especially trying desperately to fulfill my word on things I had the energy to do, but no longer do. So much of my struggles I can’t properly transmute. It’s so upsetting.

Thus, there’s going to be a sudden and abrupt shift in posting or messaging. I don’t know when. But it is coming.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

(Especially since I’ve been feeling mania over the weekend. All weekend, Saturday and Sunday, I manic cleaned large portions of certain areas I occupy as well as my housemate. Today I’m feeling the aching in my joints badly, with my calves swearing hell at me. I’m wearing my wrist brace too, I just…I’m rambling.)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I wish for you to know what’s happening if you don’t see or hear from me, my headmates, or any of my online presences (as depicted here: https://cjoatbysamwise.com/cjoats-links ) No one is being forgotten. I’m not abandoning anyone. I’m not ghosting anyone. What I do know (still coming to terms with it ngl) is I need to stop, fully stop, and recover. It’s looking like my body is going to do that for me by force. It’s going to be abrupt and sudden to the inconvenience of many, including my housemate, unfortunately.

I don’t know how long this will last. But I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep “hustling” like this. Does this sound repetitive? I wanted to communicate before suddenly I’m unable.

Does this sound repetitive? I’ll end it here. I wanted to communicate before suddenly I’m unable.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I’ll end it here with how you can support me while I’m down, only able to and wish to (I’m aware financial situations are a big struggle at the moment, there is no pressure to.)

Provide support by these links:

Thank you for reading until the end; have an awesome week ahead. Please remember to hydrate and eat. 🫶🏽❤️‍🩹

[soaps-mohawk]

Hello, ma'am! i just wanna make sure everything is alright with you. I don't know what goes on your personal life, but I know you always deliver beautifully written chapters that are very long! So just hope your getting in plenty of rest. I own a wattpad account and writing took a lot out of me and I wrote a lot like you did to. Especially, with so many questions asking me when I was going to update. Lord, on top of school and work i was about to bust but not in a good way. Anyways, I enjoyed the latest chapter and look forward to more. You writing has been phenomenal so far! Stay healthy and stay beautiful ❤️

Hi!! Hello!! Thank you for this wonderful ask. I'm alright, finally getting over my sickness so that's cool lol. Ugh writing is so hard sometimes. It really is and it's exhausting. My brainpower drops so fast when I write. I basically have to plan to do nothing the days that I write so that I can write at my best but also because it takes so much out of me. It's something that I love, though, and something that I use to cope so...I try hard not to burn myself out on it.

In truth, those comments do get exhausting. The "more please" or "I need more" comments do get to me. Even the ones asking when the next update will be get to me sometimes. I feel the pressure and like I need to constantly deliver to keep people happy. I know most people mean well when they say things like that, but yeah. Especially if I'm struggling with a chapter for whatever reason, those comments definitely get under my skin a bit and make me feel guilty that I'm stuck or have writers block or whatever the reason is.

I'm taking care of myself. I know everyone worries, but I promise I won't push myself to the point of burnout. I know when I'm pushing too much and I've learned when to stop and rest. I know most of y'all will wait patiently for the next chapter no matter how long it takes 😊 I truly appreciate you and all of my readers. Y'all keep me going 💚

I hope you're taking care of yourself too and be kind to yourself. The world is hard enough to exist in. 💚💚

[borderlinereminders]

I'd like to see more on what the symptoms of bpd actually are. Like, I know the rough idea and can infer a few from your coping strategies but I feel that more explicitly saying 'these are the official/listed symptoms and this is my experience with them' would help.

Burnout is hard, so I hope you take every day as it comes and use your personal self-care discord server, which is a really good idea by the way!!! I hope it gets better for you soon and have a nice? positive? better? good? relaxing? improving? peaceful? serene? awesome??? day.

Hi anon,

I don't actually relate to a lot of the symptoms any more, but I can share how I used to relate to them before making as much progress in recovery as I have.

Big disclaimer that a lot of the stuff I did in the past wasn't okay, and I am in no way saying that all people with BPD do things like I did or have done. Please don't use my bad choices in the past as any sort of "proof" to be ableist to those with BPD or other personality disorders. As was said in the anon's ask, these are my experience.

This is a long response, so putting it below the read more.

These are the "official" symptoms for BPD - but I also think a lot of information about BPD out there is outdated and inaccurate. I copy and pasted the wording of the bolded part from a web page about BPD.

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment This one I used to experience a lot more, but I do still occasionally feel these thoughts creeping in (the worry that people will abandon me) but I no longer engage in reacting to those thoughts/feelings. For me, I'd be happy when I was with someone but I think due to a lack of emotional permanence, I used to be afraid people were going to leave me when they weren't near me. The second I wasn't around them, all the reassurance went away and I'd find myself panicking and doing things (not healthy things) to try and make sure they didn't leave. Ironically, these things usually ended up pushing this to become a self-fulfilling prophecy and I lost those people anyways as a result of sometimes toxic, and usually unhealthy behaviours.

Unstable relationships This isn't really the case for me anymore due to finding better coping mechanisms, but a lot of my relationships were unstable largely due to my efforts to avoid abandonment, but also due to me not being able to handle my emotions in a healthy way. People usually ended up having to put a lot of effort/energy into a friendship with me. I'm not saying it's wrong for friends to need to help you or things like that, but at this point in my life, I needed help all the time. And a lot of the things I needed help with weren't necessarily reasonable. I think I experienced a lot of "learned helplessness."

These relationships were often unstable for me as a result of my "splitting" as well. This was the switch between idealization to devaluation. Someone could be good, and perfect until they did something that I saw as "bad", or "wrong" or something like that and then they were "bad" and "terrible." While I still find that I experience splitting now, my coping mechanisms allow me to move through it more quickly and not let it impact how I act (because I always know deep down that it is temporary and reacting on it usually hurts both me and my loved one.)

Unclear or shifting self-image For me, I used to switch my hobbies and interests depending on the people I was most involved with at the time. I'd frequently go back and forth between thinking I'm a terrible person to feeling good about myself.

Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors My impulsive behaviours were usually to engage in self-harm, but also to say/do things on a spur of the moment due to emotions. For example, it might have been the way I lashed out and accused a friend of hating me and not caring (driving them away) because they hung out with another friend rather than stepping back to realize that it wasn't a justifiable response. What I needed was some time to look at the facts clearly before reacting.

Impulsive behaviours can also include things like substances, spending, sex, etc.

Self-harm I'm not going to get into specifics of this because I don't think it's necessary but I do want to say that sometimes self-harm behaviours aren't as obvious as you might think. For some people, doing a certain thing can be good for them but someone can also use that same behaviour in a self-harm way. Something doesn't have to be inherently harmful (like physically harming one's self) to be a self-harming behaviour. What really matters is your intent when engaging in the behaviour and how it makes you feel. (For example, someone may thrive off alone time, but someone else may isolate themselves as a way to harm themselves.)

Extreme emotional swings I experienced a lot of these due to a lack of emotional permanence. When I was happy, I was so happy and nothing could bring me down. But when I was sad, it was so crushingly sad and it was the only emotion that was real. It was the one true emotion and it was hard to understand that it wasn't forever because I couldn't recall any other emotions, even in memories.

Chronic feelings of emptiness I still experience this, though not as much. Usually in the winter months, or the time leading up to my time of month. Sometimes it's almost like feeling numb for me. it can feel like everything is "dark" in me or that there is a hole in me. Sometimes I'd do extreme things to try and "feel" and fill the hole, but nothing worked.

Explosive anger I've worked on this a lot, but I used to snap and lash out at people. I still feel the extreme anger, but what I've worked on is helping manage why it happens. For example. I used to get super angry when my friends didn't do the things I needed/wanted or didn't notice I was sad. This improved once I realized that it was unfair of me to expect them to be a mind reader, and even if someone wasn't able to help didn't mean they didn't care. I've worked a lot on myself. But often the explosive anger would lead me to self harm or engage in other impulsive behaviours.

Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality For me, this was feeling "outside" of my own body. Like I was watching my life happen to someone else, almost like a movie or a dream. (I struggle with this still now, mostly when I feel empty.)

[ultra-puzzlemaster]

[ID: a series of speech bubbles with the following lines:

Sometimes I struggle with processing information, could you please give me time to think about that please?

I rely on my headphones and stim toys as disability aids. I am still listening. These aids help me to take in information more easily.

I normally feel anxious about what to say to people I do not know, especially in new situations. What should I say to X?

I find it difficult to interpret body language and facial expressions, are you upset?

Could you please let me know an approximate ending time? This isn't because I don't want to spend time with you, it helps me to prepare myself.

Can we agree a sign or word that I can use so that you know that I am overwhelmed and need to leave the situation?

Would you like me to give you advice or would you prefer for me to just listen to what you have to say?

I am experiencing autistic burnout at the moment and currently have very limited energy.

If I have a meltdown, could you please help me move to a quiet space, find my noise cancelling headphones and not touch me.

I am experimenting with unmasking my autistic traits. This means that I might appear more autistic as I am no longer suppressing my traits.

I rely on routines to help me cope. They help me to stay calm, even if they don't quite make sense to you. Please don't interrupt my routines.

I have a high pain threshold, which means that I might not realize that I am in pain or that there is something wrong.

I struggle to remember information so could you write it down for me? or give me a chance to write it down?

I don't make eye contact because I find it difficult. This isn't me being rude and we can still communicate as normal.

I struggle with new situations. Please can you explain what it going to happen and what I should do.

I struggle with phone calls as I can't process what is being said, could we please communicate via email?

/end ID]

Self Advocacy Scripts I Rely on as an Autistic Person…

Neurodivergent_lou

[ambrosiarose418]

honestly my friends are actually the most delusional people ever.

i love my friends but sometimes I just question their logic. One of my friends is a classic delulu girl who has crushes on literally everyone. she likes actors and actresses (she's pan), fictional characters (but like, THOSE fictional characters that EVERY delusional girl lusts after), and those huge jerks at school that she only likes because they look kind of conventionally attractive. she's unnecessarily flirty to everybody, turns everything into a pickup line in the most inappropriate of situations, has the dirtiest mind ever, and is constantly ranting about how hot these random book characters are. I love her--she's a distinct personality and an amazing and smart person, but being around her when she's in this state is frankly annoying. i dont like spending my time with someone whose logic can be so flawed. I'm fine with all the other stuff, usually, but the terrible timing of her jokes and crushes on people who have LITERALLY BULLIED ME...to say the least, it makes me uncomfortable.

she can be extremely insensitive at times. she doesn't mean to, she just can't read when something is sensitive. i suffer from mental health breakdowns/burnouts sometimes, and I just want a place in my group chat to rant, but she ALWAYS turns it into a joke.

Me: guys i'm just really tired of life and school and whatnot. scheduling and work is literally so hard and I'm SO DONE. i just want to die.

Her: lol same dude take me with you

an almost DIRECT QUOTE from a conversation we once had. i don't know if it's just her using humor as a coping mech and she has the same problems too--like maybe she's serious whenever she says "i want to die with you"--but I'd rather she just be upfront about it if thats the case. I know that's hard...but also, it makes it harder for me to express that i'm trying to be serious. that i actually need help. She can use humor as a way to cope, but does she really have to make it so it's harder for me to make help?

for the romance thing, it might just be because I'm demisexual that I don't understand the whole liking-someone-without-substance idea. it doesn't make sense in my eyes, but maybe that's just how allo people think? maybe people are actually just like that? from MY pov it looks lame, but obviously I could just have a really skewed perspective on romance-related matters, especially considering I spent most of my life believing I was straight and that everyone was just like me. we love ace panic! all jokes aside, though, i'd love for someone to please tell me if i'm the one seeing this weird or if everybody, or most allo people at least, have these kinds of nonsensical crushes and delusions.

sorry for the harsh words, by the way. as a disclaimer, I truly do love this friend. I think she's brilliant and smart, but some of these flaws just bother me when I'm around her. I have slight anger issues too, and I can't help but get annoyed by her often. I haven't had the heart or courage to tell her any of this, though I did tell one of my closer friends who has started to develop similar behaviors.

please feel free to give me advice, though its okay if you don't have anything. honestly this is mostly just a dump of things i'm too ashamed to put my group chat. :)

-ambrosia <3

[aisha-ot]

Hi guys, how’s everyone doing ?

It’s getting to that time of year where everything starts feeling like it’s going too fast and we’re all just aching for a second of work free, stress free peace. If you’re feeling like this right now, you aren’t alone, I’m right with you. Let’s get into todays blog though and see if we can all feel a little lighter. Use this as your few minutes of freedom before you need to get back to reality.

This weeks blog is going to be quite a personal one. We’re going to be talking about a problem that every single person faces all over the world. Mental health. But specifically, mental health problems faced by the youth due to academic stress. And yes, I will be speaking from personal experience because I am not that old guys I’m still part of the youth of South Africa even though I have the back problems of a 72 year old 🥲 I know there’s a huge number of factors that have an effect on mental health of the youth but I want to talk about this specific topic because I can give you first hand personal experience that can put this topic into perspective and help you understand it better.

Our youth in South Africa represent the future. We have a history of so much pain and suffering and our youth are here as the future generation to help solve some of this suffering be a shining light for us to lead us to a better South Africa. But, this light of the youth can easily dim. This is due to the number of mental health issues that our youth face which impact their well being and create a shadow over their light. In todays blog, we’re unpacking how mental health issues arise due to academic stress and how it affects the productivity and functioning of the youth of today.

The weight that academic pressure has on the youth in South Africa is intense. We’re all caught in a whirlwind of academic expectations and face the pressure of succeeding in a competitive education system which takes an incredibly tough toll on our mental health leading to a number of issues such as anxiety, depression and burnout.

Burnout. Please picture me standing on a chair and screaming this.

I feel this is the only way to get you guys to understand my passion behind this word. Burnout. I am burnt out. This is going to get a bit personal but I really hope sharing my experience with you will make you feel less alone. I really want this to be more of a personal rant so I’m attaching a link below for you guys to read up about academic burnout. It’s a lovely article that’s doesn’t use a whole lot of fancy words so it’s easy to read and you can give your brain a bit of a break.

As I mentioned in the beginning, it’s coming to that time of the year when everything is starting to feel like it’s too much to handle. Stress levels are off the radar and the work is just piling up and I can confidently say that I am reaching the brim of my sanity. This feeling is not something I want everyone to relate to but I know that a lot of you reading this will because it’s the reality of academics. And I hate this feeling because i can see and feel it affecting my work ethic. As we all know I’m working at an old age home for my psych placement this semester. And it is crucial to always keep your mood up and happy when dealing with the elderly in an old age home because majority of them experience symptoms of institutionalization meaning they have depressive symptoms, low mood, a monotonous routine etc. Here’s a quick read if you aren’t completely aware of what institutionalization is.

Us, being the occupational therapists need to use fun and meaningful activities to stimulate them and keep them active and elevate their mood. But it is so difficult to do all that when you personally feel drained. I do think that I have mastered the skill of covering up my personal emotions when it comes to dealing with my clients and I can put on a good face and carry out my treatments effectively. But once that session is over I feel the weight of campus crashing back down on me. A good example of this is actually over the past week. I’d say I am usually in a decent mood when I get to work in the morning, I’m making conversation, greeting everyone and starting off my day with getting my life in order. But looking back at this past week, I went to work extremely tired and not in the best of moods just ready to get the day over and done with. And that is not how I like to work. In fact, the activity I had planned for this week needed me to be energetic and active and in a positive mood but to be completely honest I was dreading having to do all of that when the only thing that was on my mind was the long list of deadlines, due dates and exam dates in my head that kept replaying over and over.

That is a visual representation of me this week. Thankfully I’ve mastered adapting my mood to the situation and the session was a success but I don’t think it’s fair that us students have to go through this in order to succeed and see good results.

South Africa needs the younger generation to bring new and innovative ideas and perspectives to the table. We need to drive the progress in a number of different sectors in this country such as the business, health care and technology sectors. We are the new generation that are going to contribute to the economic growth of the country by finishing our education, graduating and getting employed and increasing productivity. We have the energy and passion to advocate for a number of positive social changes in society such as equal rights and social justice. We are the generation that will carry our rich heritage and cultural traditions to the next generations. In essence, the youth of South Africa are the backbone on our nations future.

But how are we meant to find the motivation to do all of this when our brains feel like they’re going to explode just trying to reach the first goal of graduating. Of course we need to invest in the education of our youth and work on pricing equal opportunities to all in order to establish a foundation of strong and independent youth. But the moral of this whole story is that we also need to invest in the mental health of our students. Yes there are certain things that need to be done by a certain date in order to reach the next level of education. But why don’t we try and work on our organization skills so that they don’t have to worry about the stress and panic of logistic issues that may prevent them from getting to campus on time. Why don’t we invest more time and money in providing easily accessible mental health resources to students that are struggling to keep up with the work load. Why won’t we invest time and money on working on developing a more inclusive education system that focuses on the mental and emotional needs of the students.

I know that academics have always been this pool of pressure and stress and everyone always just brushes it off, sucks it up and says that this is the norm. But I seriously think we need to start thinking of a new approach to this. I’m not saying the work needs to change, I’m saying we need to try and change the system to adapt and better deal with the mental and emotional capacity of the students. Because there’s no point in having millions of students studying to finish a degree and get a job but they end up hating their degree and job by the end of it and don’t pursue a career because of the mental trauma it’s caused them. That is how we lose the youth of South Africa and that is how we destroy the hope for a positive future.

That’s my rant for today guys, I hope this give us all something to think about. And I hope my experience of burn out shows you that you’re not alone. It’s ok to feel like this. But it’s not ok to always feel like this. If you’ve been feeling this way for a long period of time now and you feel like there’s no end in sight, I highly recommend you try and reach out to your support system. Whether it be your family, friends or a therapist. Let it all out and show your emotions. Don’t hold it all in because I guarantee you it will come out at some point and it’s not going to be pretty. Let it out in a healthy way now and let’s work on moving forward and getting our lives in order. I’m here if you need anything.

Thank you for being here and for listening to my stories. I really appreciate you. And I Joel I see you again next time and that we’re all healed and full of life an energy. Keep well.

Aisha

[healthhivers]

How Mental Health Coaching Unlocked My Potential?

(Photo by cottonbro studio on Pixels)

I've got something I want to share with you all today. It's not about the latest workout or the tastiest protein shake—it's about something a lot closer to home. It's about my journey with mental health coaching.

A few years back, I was in the best shape of my life. From the outside looking in, I had it all. The perfect routine, a body to be proud of, a diet on point. But there was a problem. Despite all of that, I was stressed out, anxious, and edging towards burnout. Something was off, and it took me a while to realize what it was. My mental health was on the ropes, and I was too focused on the physical to see it.

So, I took a leap of faith. I reached out to a mental health coach. I won't lie—it was tough. It's hard admitting you need help, even harder opening up about your feelings and fears. But guess what? It was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Working with my coach, I began to understand the link between stress, anxiety, and my overall emotional health. We built coping strategies that worked for me. For the first time in my life, I wasn't just dealing with my anxiety—I was learning how to control it.

I saw changes, not just in my mood, but in my performance at the gym. I was sleeping better, eating better, lifting better. My focus sharpened, my motivation spiked, and the weights that once seemed insurmountable were now challenges I could face head-on.

Mental health coaching isn't just for people struggling with mental health disorders. It's for anyone who wants to live a healthier, happier life. Trust me on this, because I've been there.

If my story has sparked an interest, then I've got just the thing for you. A good friend of mine has penned a fantastic article all about mental health coaching. Give it a read—I promise it'll be worth your time.

my journey is only one piece of this puzzle, and there's so much more to discover about mental health and its impact on our lives. So, if you're feeling curious or even if you feel this could be what you need, I urge you to dive deeper.

There's a brilliant article that breaks down the ins and outs of mental health coaching in a way that's both comprehensive and accessible. Don't stop at my story—read, learn, and grow. Your journey to better mental health could be just one click away.

Keep learning, keep growing, and most importantly, keep taking care of yourself. You're worth it.

If you want to explore further about the benefits of mental health coaching, please click here to read the comprehensive article "Mental Health Coaching & Self-Care."

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[wrenzfic]

Depends what the sensory issue is, but here are a couple of ideas if you're interested:

Texture can often be overpowered by flavour. My go-to is hot sauce but other people I know use ketchup or brown sauce. I also chop things up ridiculously small to hide them in things like bolognaise. Little choppers/food processors are great for it but a sharp knife will get it done.

Think of ways to make small amounts of food more calorie dense. Add cream to coffee instead of milk or cook with chicken thighs instead of breasts. Whatever you're doing pick the "unhealthy" (terrible term) version.

For gagging or other back of the throat sensations you can slowly build up ability to deal with those sensations with smoothies and soups, getting thicker and with more pulp/veg in. If you're having trouble swallowing soft or slimy food try dry things and even cook them longer to dry them out. Sometimes the muscles of your throat don't know what to do with something too soft and need something to grip on to.

Consider the difference between smell and taste. I have trouble with things like cumin that have a strong smell but don't taste of much. If your sense of smell is playing up it can also make you more sensitive to texture.

Consider other ways to get vitamins. Did you know malt was used as an additive in the '50s to help with the gaps in the post war diet? Ovaltine and other malt drinks have a surprising amount of vitamins in and come in a couple of different flavors. If you can manage them, meal replacement shakes like slim fast are better than nothing and some people find them easier than the weight gain shakes like Complan.

Finally (sorry this went on longer than intended) sensory overload or burnout can make eating much much harder. If you can, some time to relax somewhere quiet without too much stress can really help. I can't stand to have food in my mouth when I'm in overload. Taking even a few minutes to breathe and calm down before trying to eat can make it a little easier .

Hope any of that helps.

Source: lifetime of sensory issues and trying to cope with the minefield that is food for myself and my children. Not a doctor. If you think you have a serious deficiency please see a doctor.

Ok, so I'm having trouble eating healthy food because of sensory issues that I don't know how to explain. Went to a nutritionist, she was no help. I don't think she understood what the problem was. I'm always hungry these days, which means (worryingly) I'm starting to ignore my hunger. My nails are always brittle and my hair keeps falling. I'm terrified I'm starting to get an ED or something. Any advice?

[voidwaren]

You said somewhere you got your ADHD diagnosed late in life. How is that going? I'm 25 and I think I have it but I don't know if it's too late to bother getting it checked.

anon, it is never too late, especially if you're a cis female or grew up female. you would not BELIEVE how under diagnosed ADHD is in females. I'm talking, like, they didn't believe girls had ADHD until the late 90s, if I'm remembering correctly, and didn’t even do a lengthy study until 2007 (I think? I was in high school when it happened, I know that much), because girls just apparently weren’t able to have it. (or, if they did, it was incredibly rare. which is total bullshit, but I digress.) AND they're still learning things about ADHD in females, unlike in males where certain things have just been known for years and years due to all the studies being only on males.

please get screened if you think you have it. mental breakdown and critical burnout are the tipping point you really don't want to reach if you can help it.

and now, too many words:

that being said, that's what caused me to get checked after realizing all that shit going on with me wasn't laziness and general life anxiety. I had a huge breakdown (one of quite a few, but I previously thought it was just stress) and, at 27, finally went and got checked. (I think actually you can see me coming to the realization on this blog, because that was around when I was writing WiS and realizing, hey, something's kinda fucky here. people keep talking about ADHD in my version of Warren, but *I* don’t have it.)

(... OR DO I?)

y’all. I did better scoring on that test than I ever did in school. 

turns out I had a bunch of symptoms that, because I am a 90s child, no one batted an eye at. terrible anxiety (not just a shy child and an awkward adult), poor learning skills (not just laziness with applying myself), depression and low self-esteem (from a life of thinking I was just too dumb to understand in school, no matter how hard I tried), rejection sensitive dysphoria (not just being “too sensitive” and needing “thicker skin”), constant stomach problems and insomnia due to hyperactivity.

(I will never stop complaining about the fact that my insomnia is so bad, my mom took me to the doctor as a young child because I would not sleep at nap time in preschool and had trouble falling asleep at night, and the doctor went, "oh yeah, she just doesn't need much sleep, it's fine." SIR. THAT'S NOT A THING.) 

(I could list all the things I have and do that were red flags, but I’d be here a while, and I also can’t remember all of them, SO.)

I literally never knew. I always brushed them off because they ran in the family and were just A Thing(TM) that I would have to deal with in life like everyone else. only one of my male cousins was diagnosed ADHD, so why would I have it? so I developed a way to deal with it, and I moved on with my life.

now I know that, no, I don't need to try harder, middle school math teacher that took me aside one day and said I really needed to start applying myself. I need DRUGS.

(and coping mechanisms. better ones, because some of the ones I use to mask and do daily things are, uh. not good. and caused a lot of problems I now have to have therapy to deal with.)

so, yeah. here I am now, almost 31, discovering things all the time. it's a learning process. it feels like I’m going, “oh, that’s an ADHD thing? okay...” constantly. I still tear up whenever I hear someone tell me they also have it and that they aren’t just “not trying hard enough”, and I am not a crier. that phrase has just stuck with me to the point where it’s a trigger, and I WILL start crying if the planets align and someone says it to me at the right moment.

I still get overstimulated and overwhelmed very easily. I still struggle to do a lot of things that other people will look at and go, “I did it, why can’t you?” I’m still trying to figure out better ways to handle my reaction to daily things, rather than allowing my anxiety to take over. I’m still trying to just get by in life, living in a world not made for me. 

but now that I know why I act the way I do, dealing with it is so much easier to stomach that, sometimes, I cannot believe it’s real. (sometimes I still go, “do I actually have ADHD or was everyone right? this can’t be real.”) a lifetime of “why do I act like this?” is finally solved, and holy shit. I do not have the words to explain how much better I feel.

please, please, please go get checked if you’re able to. try to find one that knows how to diagnose females if you are a cis female or previously identified as a cis female, because there are still problems with diagnosing and some doctors will write off symptoms if they don’t have a background in specifically female ADHD, not just ADHD in general. (I went to see a female ADHD specialist, for example, who had it herself.)

if you’re a cis male or previously identified as a cis male, you might have it a little easier, but it’s still more common to be undiagnosed than you’d think, so don’t let that stop you from getting checked. confirmation for or against it is a stepping stone towards figuring out why you do certain things that may be hindering you in life.

you might have to do a lot of calling around for prices if funds are an issue (there are some places that do it for cheap, if not free, but they’re VERY hard to find sometimes), and you may have to go to more than one place, but in the end it will be worth it. I promise.