#people trying to act like it’s weird that some people care a lot are just mean

[fictionyoubelieve]

This video is literally propaganda, of exactly the kind that you should expect to find on TikTok, and you just don't notice or care because it confirms things that you want to believe anyway. The app promotes videos like this, and suppresses those that are unfavorable to the Chinese state, because that is required of them under the Chinese censorship regime.

To claim that the US is "just as bad or worse" than China on things like worker protections and freedom of speech is profoundly ignorant. The person in that video does not know what they are talking about, and you should not be spreading this uncritically.

This much is true: - The US and Chinese governments both do some good things and many bad things. - The people in both countries have a lot in common, share many of the same struggles, and should push both governments to be better.

However, for nearly all the specific claims, it's dead wrong:

Mass surveillance (in China; in the US) Yes, the US has seen expansion of its surveillance apparatus and erosion of our right to privacy in recent years (especially since the Patriot Act), but China blows everyone else out of the water. They have an immense network of state-controlled CCTV—much of it incorporating computer vision and facial recognition—with the explicit goal of monitoring 100% of public space. They also impose controls on digital activity that make anonymous or private (encrypted) communication practically impossible.

Censorship (in China; in the US) This is just laughable. Efforts to gloss over the uglier parts of US history in some public school districts are reprehensible, but it does not compare to China's "Great Firewall" and nationwide suppression of certain kinds of speech. The fact that you can openly discuss this in news and social media is its own proof. Good journalism being difficult to monetize is a bigger problem, but it's not like it's made easier by additionally having to get government approval for everything you publish and risking imprisonment if you don't.

Freedom of Speech/"You're trying to ban this app right now" The issue with TikTok is not about speech; the same videos and comments can be uploaded anywhere else. But since you mention it, we should note that TikTok was never available in China—they have their own version of the app, Douyin, which complies with their digital censorship and surveillance laws. Because, again, those are far more strict than what we have in the US.

Human Rights Violations Abortion access is a genuine W for China, I'll give you that one. But holy shit do they have some awful things going on too. Honestly it's too depressing for me to dig too far into this, or the Native American and Uyghur situations. It's all terrible.

Working Conditions You cannot be serious with this. You know about sweatshops. Working conditions in China are generally bad. Their lowest minimum wage nationally is less than $1.50/hr. The US has the fifth highest median income worldwide. Get real.

Healthcare Universal healthcare is enviable, and the US really needs to stop artificially restricting its supply of doctors. There's so many factors here that I don't know if comparison is meaningful, but as one point in our defense, healthcare outcomes are still generally better in the US than in China. We spend more for it, but we also earn more to begin with.

Gun Control Yeah, this one is obviously an L for the US. Some people care more about gun ownership; I'm not one of them.

Homelessness (in China; in the US) Homelessness rates per capita seem pretty similar between the two countries, and both are working to address it with government programs, to varying degrees of success. There are people sleeping on streets and under bridges in China, and they have their own anti-homeless architecture, too.

Democracy/Authoritarianism Weird, the video didn't mention this one. You can probably guess why.

you have more in common with the average citizen in china than any us politician

[apocalypse-boogie]

CASTLEVANIA: NOCTURNE SHIT THAT I LIKED WHILE WATCHING THROUGH S2 (SPOILERS)

- this is technically my live commentary as I was watching each episode, though there are some edits that I made after my first watch and some general commentary sprinkled throughout.

- there’s also some things I didn’t like in here, but there’s less of those opinions overall

- also featuring my heavy Drolta bias.

No vampire on this show seems to be able to handle the loss of a loved one normally (except for maybe Olrox, but that’s debatable considering his relationship with Mizrak; and I mean this from a Mizrak lashes out at Olrox a lot and an Olrox fell for him very hard in a short amount of time perspective, not from the viewpoint of me personally disliking Mizrak). They’re either carrying around their spouse’s rotted dismembered head or carrying their entire corpse around; none of these people can let go. Erzsebet had every right not to though, don’t get me wrong; I too would’ve been too devastated to go on without Drolta.

Love the horror strings taking over the background music when Drolta is finished being brought back to “life” but hasn’t yet come out of the forgemaster machine.

Yes I absolutely did rewatch her walking out of the machine and her scene right after multiple times.

Drolta’s got inches, just the curls on her corpse were long as hell. I need my hair like that in the next five years🤞🏾.

I love Drolta’s new design about as much as her old one, except for the wings. They're fine enough, their roundness just mildly vexes me. And I do mean mildly.

Drolta backstory!

Human Drolta! Her being dedicated enough to go to war for Sekhmet. I liked being able to see the circumstances that broke Drolta, that led her away from the path of a healer and corrupted her compassion and ceaseless dedication into bloodthirsty hate and misled obsession.

The first six minutes alone of “Angel of Death” S2E2, period.

The sequence where Drolta takes flight over the water and tests out her new body in front of Erzsebet. Erzsebet clapping for her, feeding off her elation because that’s her WIFE (EDIT: little does Erzsebet know she as a person is barely a passing fad to Drolta though).

Drolta saying “it is delightful” in response to feeling the sun for the first time without pain in centuries. The little smile on her face. That was cute, I love her.

I actually like Richter more this season. Not that I disliked him in season one though.

Him and Annette buzzing uncertainly around each other is cute too.

Whatever weird ass beef Drolta and Olrox have going on now (it was there in season one too, but now the tension feels heightened).

EDIT: And the fact that it’s Drolta who continues to question Olrox and poke holes in his stories instead of Erzsebet (who calls him “my dragon” and who acts like he’s more loyal than he is) really makes me think that Erzsebet would’ve ended up back confined if Drolta wasn’t such a good backbone for her. How much she predominantly only cares about killing and bringing about suffering for little reason other than she can and thinks she has a right to blinds her — and made her pretty un-intimidating to me as a result. She’s a big physical threat but it’s like she’s got nothing beyond that desire to hurt ruling her and it makes her sloppy and unimpressive whenever she tries to be intimidating (especially whenever Drolta’s not there).

The shot of Drolta rising up before Olrox to proclaim that hunting the French military during the day would be more fun than waiting to do it at night.

The entirety of Drolta tearing apart the soldiers and clearly basking in it. She is serving absolute looks while going on a bloodthirsty demenated binge and I love her all the more for it. Why shouldn’t she be allowed to tear off the top of a man’s skull if she wants to, yk?

Olrox stopping Mizrak from trying to fight Drolta essentially one on one was sweet (even if I don’t necessarily like Mizrak).

The continued stressing of the fact that Drolta is more of an abomination, even more unnatural than before, since being resurrected and going through the machine.

THEORY (I’m currently on “Angel of Death” S2Ep2 as I write this bit): I think Drolta knows more than she’s letting on about resurrecting Sekhmet and that she’s planning to bring her back to life in the only way she can, with Erzsebet’s body. I think possession and full bodily transformation is the endgame, and I don’t think Erzsebet’s figured that out yet. It’s highly possible that she loves Drolta more than Drolta even cares for her as a person; Drolta only cares for her body insofar as it’s capabilities to successfully contain a goddess’s soul. Though this may be my general distaste for Erzsebet (and need for Drolta to be better than giving the soul of an Egyptian goddess to the palest white woman she could find) poking its head out so idk.

OH MY GOD DROLTA'S SWORD PROOF?!?!?!??!!!!!

I mean she was proven to be bullet proof, yeah, but that has less oomph than her brushing off a sword attack.

Ahhhhh, and she’s fucking huge compared to humans!!! How delightful!! *giggles uncontrollably for a few seconds*

Olrox liking Mizrak enough to hold him while he cries for the people Drolta is slaughtering en mass is good shit. Him holding on to Olrox for dear life as he breaks down whilst he’s soothed as much as he can be is also good shit.

Drolta literally squeezing the life out of the revolutionary army’s captain and popping her like a stress toy. Go off Queen.

“For every suffering, a wisdom is gained.” *end of episode; cut to black* OMG?!!!

Drolta’s voice lines being performed so well every time? Glorious, end of discussion.

Why is Olrox so invested in Mizrak? Every interaction he’s had with that man has ended with Olrox upset. Like, he’s literally not fucking worth it.

Drolta just letting Alucard lead her to Sekhmet’s mummy. Why work hard, you know? Especially when she’s clearly been carrying Erzsebet’s entire plan.

Drolta saying “I was born three times. The second time a vampire, and the third…a new and glorious thing,” and then pressing a kiss to the forehead of the newest female night creature. Like, bitch, I want that to be me.

Oh yeah, Edouard is going to start an uprising. Erzsebet and Drolta Them are fucked. When that army turns on them that’s gonna be the end.

I know Olrox is mad about that brand, and shit, I’m mad for him. That would’ve drove me insane. I wouldn’t want to cede that much of myself to Erzsebet either (especially since she’s not even actually Sekhmet yet). But just in general it sucks that he was branded both against his will by Drolta and for a cause that he doesn’t believe in or want to follow.

Alright Maria, embrace your darkness! And then mellow out a bit, that step is crucial here. She’s got the spirit though, and that wolf is beautiful.

Maria going “who are you” completely baffled when Juste shows up and attacks Tera is killing me. I’m laughing too hard, I had to pause it for a minute.

Tera’s control is immaculate for such a new vampire.

This is probably bad, but good for Maria. A coming of rage might be good for her. Sometimes you just want to kill your shitty harmfully delusional father; no, that wasn’t kind of cathartic for me at all /s.

Drolta being the one to turn Erzsebet. Truly all the power that woman ever gained after being confined was because of Drolta. That’s…something.

You know what? As Drolta started to fight Alucard I immediately realized that I really do not want to see Drolta die again. I know she probably will, all things considered, but still.

I understand that Tera left because she personally sees that she’s a bad influence on Maria, and she wants to protect her daughter from that side of herself until she has her own darker impulses under control. But how tf was she so sure that abandoning her child wouldn’t’ve pushed Maria right over the edge? Honestly I’ve never liked when parents do shit like run away from their kids “for their own good” unless they’re literally turning into uncontrollable monsters; like, you know what’ll really go great with this trauma sandwich? A nice tall glass of trauma lemonade with a special shot of abandonment issues mixed in! 🙄

Not Olrox offering to take that man with him. Omg. I bet you Olrox will come back and risk his life for Mizrak, and maybe even be killed doing it. At least let him be the one to kill Drolta (I have to accept her inevitable death atp, and at least let it be at the hands of the man she branded so that he can go out with a win and so that they can have a good ass fight beforehand).

EDIT: Okay, so I lost that bet but I’m super okay with that. And like, I get the Mizrox relationship I guess, but it’s just not for me.

I think the nicest thing Mizrak ever said to Olrox without immediately following his words up by calling Olrox a disgusting soulless monster was after Olrox said he was leaving for good. Don’t switch up now bitch, I just hope by the time someone else comes around you're done with this ‘lashing out, existential crisis’ shit.

The spirits overwhelming Annette was a nice touch, but I can tell the spirit world stuff will make me uncomfortable so I’m going to stop watching as it is now night.

Richter being so attuned to Annette whenever she’s in distress (even when it’s silent) and rushing to make sure she’s okay every time. He’s not always correct when he makes an assumption about why she might be disturbed when he’s reassuring her, but that’s mostly just because he doesn’t have all the information.

Annette being attuned to Richter enough to pinpoint when he’s feeling insecure and then assuage his feelings. Annette constantly using reason to defuse any possible tension between Alucard and Richter, and being just as fully prepared to call Richter out when he screws up as she is to come to his defense.

Them coming to mutually understand and respect both of their circumstances and the trauma they experienced growing up.

“Mephisto” is unsettling imo, but Olrox’s interaction with him was interesting. Olrox just has such a calm demeanor even when he’s technically outmatched or upset, and it’s very engaging.

Drolta kicking Alucard into the river. Just her kicking with her hoofs in general, she does it a lot throughout the season and I love it every time. The move is just such a finisher that I can’t help but find it appealing. It’s a competence thing, I really can’t help myself.

ABOVE THIS TEXT IS MY COMMENTARY FOR EPISODES 1-5 & BELOW IT IS EPISODES 6-8

Annette, girl, every bit of your story is riveting! Like, there’s legitimately so much here and that feels crazy. I love it! I shall cherish this fictional black woman being allowed to have negative traits (s1) without being demonized for it and then being given actual time and dedication in her personal story and the show’s overall story.

Just— ALL OF EPISODE SIX. The whole thing’s going on the list.

Alucard teasing Richter about his affections for Annette.

Richter moving the cushioning into place for Annette to sit on when she stopped hovering.

Fuck, is Sekhmet going to be the one to kill Drolta? I hope it brings her peace before she dies at least (even if she is a villian, yes).

Fuck, Olrox hasn’t left yet. Sorry, that’s more commentary than anything but I am legitimately scared for what he’s going to do.

Alright, magical girl transformation! Not, Sekhmet being ready to come for Erzsebet. I’m not going to argue.

Hold on is episode seven the first time Edouard's face hands lift? It’s not right? Am I tripping?

Edouard's singing in episode seven. It’s probably the most effective his spontaneous singing has been, and adds to the scene and themes with a lot of purpose.

Drolta looking like a spider at 05:30 in episode seven when she decides to fight Alucard.

Maria falling right into Richter as she lands and her and him hugging.

Omg, Maria tamed the dragon thing. Beautiful. I knew all she needed after the fall was to mellow back out and the power up speaks for itself.

Drolta’s nails turning into a fucking SWORD! EDIT: SWORDS!!???!!!

The insanity of Drolta’s laughing after Alucard cuts her “living” hair. I’m in pain for her, and she’s laughing that shit off?

Richter making an ice claw to keep from blowing away during his fight with Erzsebet (who’s got the two souls of Sekhmet by now).

Drolta headbutting Alucard.

OLROX!!!! Holy shit! He came back, and he’s helping Alucard!

Awwww, Richter using his ice magic to cool Annette (and thus Sekhmet’s third soul) down after realizing that she was literally burning up after collapsing. King.

I’ll never undermine the merits of getting to see Erzsebet essentially curb stomped by the majority of the gang.

Shit, Mizrak just got hit badly and I think he’s dying. Now are they gonna let him die or is Olrox going to turn him? I don’t like his ass, but if him dying will upset Olrox too much then I suppose I’ll deal without being too pissy.

Annette’s fight directly correlating to Sekhmet’s third soul’s ability to retrieve the rest of her souls.

Maria, Juste, and Richter team up. That’s all.

Richter rushing to take the brunt of Erzsebet’s attack on Annette.

Oh shit, Mizrak isn’t dead! Good for him.

Erzsebet getting tore the fuck up!

Sekhmet full scale telling Erzsebet she wasn’t ever shit. And then Drolta telling her the same thing before killing Erzsebet is crazy. No hate fr, but no love lost either (not even a little).

Drolta’s little monologue before she kills Erzsebet. A beautiful performance with beautiful animation.

Oh boy, not Drolta losing her shit too. Goddamnit. This isn’t going to end well at all. Fuck!

Third Drolta form though! That’s exciting, now she’s larger and a cross between her vampire form and her night creature form (with obvious feline features). And this time she’s been called an obscenity! And by Sekhmet’s third soul no less. She’s like a Pokémon kind of.

How is she still so pretty!!!!???!!!!!!😍😍😍 *squeals*

Drolta kicking Erzsebet. Hehehe.

Anyway, she only just got any amount of Sekhmet in her and can already pause Richter and Alucard mid strike and grow back the hand Richter so smartly cut off (it was a smart move, I’m not being sarcastic). All I’m saying is that she might be unhinged, and she might need to get her ass beat, but she’s still more powerful than Erzsebet despite having had far less time with any power that wasn’t mortal in some manner. Once again: Queen.

“Unclean thing”. Yet another insult lobbed onto Drolta. I’m just collecting them atp.

I like Sekhmet and Drolta having a conversation. Drolta crying does pain me though.

Richter letting Annette go 😭🙃. Him respecting what Annette agreed to (or did she agree?).

Drolta’s scream of anguish and rage and who knows what else. Fucking amazing. Elarica Johnson did not miss once this whole season (EDIT: and she didn’t last season either, don’t fret). Also it’s crazy that I actually recognize Drolta’s VA from the one episode of P-Valley I ever watched.

Drolta being able to stab Alucard with his sword was nice. I don’t know why she didn’t just cut and run though, I guess she’d been unmoored enough to not care anymore and just be lashing out but idk. Don’t know if I like that character beat for her, but yeah.

Jesus, they split my woman in half. Fucking hell.

Olrox came back for that last hit on Drolta. I don’t know why, but he did. He deserved that one though, I can’t be mad.

Alucard and Juste’s conversation. Uncle Alucard!

Annette’s fight in the “spirit world” was good, but I didn’t really comment about it because it didn’t really have any different beats to highlight.

I’m going to be honest, as much as I like these characters I know for a fact my interest in the show going forward will wane without Drolta, but the journeys of the other characters are still nice to see.

OKAY so I didn’t call exactly how Drolta would turn against Erzsebet, but that’s alright.

Well Mizrak is a vampire now. So long as Olrox is happy I guess. *big sigh* More angst to come though, so that’s (maybe) fun.

EDIT: And no hate to the Mizrox shippers, all of this shit is my opinion, I haven’t seriously cared about policing what other people ship in a decade.

Apparently “Mephisto” and Tera are in cahoots. I don’t know what’s going on there. Also, “Mephisto’s” shadow form occasionally having teeth is wild imagery.

Overall as a Drolta fan I’m pretty satisfied.

[otamotone-dnp]

I’ve seen some people call others online “parasocial” for being sad about/grieving liam payne’s death. and I’m just thinking…there’s nothing inherently wrong with being parasocial. there’s nothing inherently wrong about caring about people you haven’t met. there’s nothing morally or ethically wrong with feeling connected to a celebrity. in fact, I think it shows how much we as humans are capable of connection and empathy, and how we as a species are meant to be social and to love each other, that people feel this connected and sad over someone they didn’t know personally. it’s never wrong to care about people. people using the “parasocial” thing to shame others for their feelings regarding a tragic and shocking death are inconsiderate

[lifenconcepts]

I absolutely agree with that and am SO happy to find someone similar to me!! I’ve never been one to hate on the shit another finds good but the popularised versions of identities being this half which is just sunshine and rainbows always feels a little unjustified for how much those same people which say ‘embrace the weird! Be yourself! Love others!!’ and say they support those which unapologetically go against what social norm has been formed, suddenly go from all kind to ‘yuck! How can you say that? That doesn’t seem right.. you’re not one of us!’ the very moment you mention you support real fur instead of faux, that hunting and genuinely mauling your food with your hands is okay, feel angry when another animal marks your home or vehicle, or any other variation of not being the ‘aesthetic therian’ others so believe is the ‘only’ way of being alterhuman.

The exact definition that’s been burned into our brains like a branding has gotten boring! There’s no right way to be yourself, because you’re the only one who knows what you actually look like! And no matter how much I see ‘alterhumanity is different for everyone’ I still tend to think that not all really get that into their brains. They take in the words but not the MEANING behind them. I want others to just blatantly face the facts that some find it nice, prefered in fact, to just want to be able to think and act like an animal. None of that explanation of why and how. (I love to find meaning behind everything but that’s simply because my soul craves knowledge) I too sometimes believe it to be great for the simplicity of a creature’s mind. You can enjoy harming another life without some twisted sense of pleasure (although that’s also fine. Huntings dogs were bred to hunt. Ofcourse they will be happy to hunt), to go where you walk simply because it’s what feels right (why must you understand the journey or destination in mind when birds migrate simply by how it feels and where is better? They don’t think ‘oh gee! It’s the 8th of September! I must get going to Portugal otherwise I may not survive the cold!’ Their minds subconsciously gather the temperature change and just vaguely understand they need to fucking go some place warm), and it feels irritating to fight for this in a community that claims to support and understand eachother alot- BUT ANIMALS DO NOT NEED TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES! They don’t! They don’t decide to just casually start feeling some way and try change to be that, no! They feel a way, and so they are that. And that may change, it may be wrong, but who cares!? Emotion is emotion and sensation is sensation. Whatever feeling comes along then it’s that feeling which is invoked. This makes more sense with examples but I just had to get it off my chest.

You won’t find a flying squirrel explaining to another ‘look, I just don’t feel enough like a rodent enough because I’ve seen the air like the birds and bugs, perhaps I’m not made for this body because I love the air as must as the trees. Is it so wrong?’ No. It’s just living as it fucking needs to, eats shits walks and floats, and will die when it needs to. Our human minds allow for a lot more to do and various things to come of it, but they also are just so much of a plague of questions that assault simple activities. Ah- I could go on for hours, but everyone needs to know that an alterhuman will be alterhuman even if they don’t explain themselves. Maybe someone misunderstood themselves but to what extent does it even matter? Maybe it’s chosen maybe it’s involuntary but why are you policing another? Is life showing any sign of rules? Sure, patterns exist, and there may be exceptions for moral wrong doing, but in the end it’s always up to subjective perception to decide what is right for you. We already have human-made rules, it’s called the law. Don’t kill or abuse others, don’t steal and destroy another’s property, and the rest is up to your grubby little hands to decide (some laws are idiotic I will admit).  And I needed to get this out for a long time but damn it- ALLOW others to exist without a label! Allow yourself to go unlabelled! It’s a common practice but it’s not as neccesary! Do you know how much agony you’ll be spared if you stop going ‘well how much of a Therian am I? What counts as Otherkin? Have I experienced any symptoms of So-and-so in the past month?’ And rather spot what makes you feel better in your body, what brings happiness, and what you do often. The cause ain’t even all that neccesary to understand unless you want to. Just focus on what you feel like and what you want to see in yourself and then you can go all ‘let’s find a word for this’. Honestly. The English language has already so many words, and that’s not even taking into account those which grown lost with time. You really think newly-made terms don’t hold as much value? Or that a single word must explain your own mind and body? Your soul is boundless, but able to be gazed upon at times. So why limit yourself to fit into a new box just to claim you ‘escaped the system!!’ as you once more alter yourself and grow bound to mere words and a fear for others judging you.

Okay that’s a bit off topic now, thanks for the opportunity to ramble, but yeah. Let animals be animals. And animals don’t need to explain themselves, they can blatantly do whatever feels good or right at the moment without it having define their entire existence or life. Animals can be dirty, mean, confusing, nasty, dangerous, scary, but still have nice qualities. And even if not, it is not their fault.

Never ever mistake me. I am not just in favor of the uwu romantic version Being An Animal. It's not all moodboards and waxing poetic about tails/wings/etc and running in the forest wild and free. All of that stuff is GOOD and FINE and a nice outlet for all flavors of nonhumans, please do not stop engaging with that sort of thing. I'm talking about me also wanting to embrace the gross and so-called ugly and less fortunate aspects of animality. like when you're wrestling a large prey animals into submission so you can eat that day but it fuckin Gets You with a claw/antler/horn/hoof/beak/etc and suddenly you're hurt real bad. Lost an eye, a toe, half your tail. Got a permanent limp from being stomped so hard that will make hunting difficult so you may not live your full natural lifespan. dying of severe cold or heat and then your body decomposing slowly, being food for other things. scent marking with piss, shit, musk. being young and inexperienced so you go without food for days cuz you can't hunt for shit.

there is no part of animality that is something I don't desire. I want it all, because all of me is animal. does it suck to downgrade from human sized complex brain to smaller wolverine brain? No not really! I am not mourning the loss of things I never asked for in the first place. sure I could say that woo, less complex brain means less capacity for things to go wrong, but that is a very human lens to look through. does a wolverine know it's "lucky" that it cannot have certain human mental illnesses because its brain may not be that complex? no, and that's why I'm not worried. I could turn into one fully physically overnight and then die stupidly 2 years later and that would still be ideal. sure I also may romanticize some things in ways that are not really Natural for my species, like how I think places that feel like Home just seem so beautiful to me, but no damn animal is perfect. I am allowed a couple flaws. several, in fact, lmao.

I Crave It All

[moeblob]

Erin, to her crush: You're a dick

Mason, the crush: I won't argue! But to clarify -

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay

[j-esbian]

i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.

that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.

weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.

[orcelito]

This morning, my therapist called me to let me know she's setting up her own practice via telehealth (which is what we were using Anyways) & asked me whether I'd want to follow her there. She still has to set stuff up with insurance stuff But her out of pocket stuff is like HALF what I've been paying out of pocket for the company she was in. So I was like, Hell Yeah let's do it

So im gonna keep up with appointments, maybe once a month or so, just so I have the accountability + the ability to ramble about what I've achieved. Bc that's been rly nice for me. I'll have my therapist back!!!! And better than ever, if only because I have to pay so much less for it 😂😂😂

And ALSO, today I put in my course request for the orchestra into the form. So different from just two weeks ago, where I was practically begging to be given a chance to audition. I was sitting in the same spot of the lobby even, but putting in my official orchestra request instead of sending an email as I vibrated in hope and anxiety. I Got It tho. And the class won't even be that late in the day. It's really exciting.

[gibbearish]

hey @humans saw yall responded to a post making fun of you for updating the pixel alignment of a dash icon rather than fixing anything important saying "changes like this feel small but can make a big difference for some people" which is a bullshit cop out if ive ever heard one so im here to tell you directly in a way you cant wiggle out: you know what would actually make a big difference for a LOT of people? not being transphobic assholes

[snekdood]

me, on the one hand: its weird to gatekeep people identifying with characters just bc they don't share their same race

also me, upon watching a video of someone wanting the saiyans to be in ssj form 24/7: you just want them to be blonde with blue eyes all the time bc you're mad that otherwise you can't project on to them since they're likely asian 🙄

[dennisboobs]

this is genuinely... so funny to me. like the hilarity of copypasting rational tweets. i'm literally right. it's not even a funny copypasta because it's literally just. objectively correct. it's a criticism of twitter culture and that makes it funny to you because...... god forbid you actually have empathy for other people. caring is for losers if you're on twitter dot com, you have to be snarky and funny at all times.

[barnbridges]

not to sexualize that dead autistic man but... the undertone of sex in bunny corcoran is very clearly maladapative and dysfunctional (methinks intentionally so) but not in the "is hiding in plain sight" sort of way, in the "is so fucking detached off reality that he has no idea what real people talk and behave like during relationships" (see: autism)

[slimyenemy]

i think it will be really cool if they don't hurt me despite not feeling anything that much for me

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Thanks For Listening

YA contemporary

a girl who’s the stage manager in her high school theater club is tired of nobody listening to her advice, so she makes an anonymous social media account that people might actually listen to

while also dating her first girlfriend and struggling with her relationship with her best friends

ace MC

[keets-writing-corner]

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

[cup-o-stars]

Relativity Falls!

Design Concepts (and my unnecessary thoughts):

Excuse the the colors, ig my apps are fighting.

I see Mabel finding success no matter what happens to her, but I really like the thought of her running an insane arts and crafts business in GF. Alternatively, if she fell in the portal, she'd come out acting confident as always, but she probably wouldn't realize how much the constant change and lack of family/stability wore her out until she settled back in. In either case, she's a bit cracked.

Dipper is investigative, but cracks easiest under stress and is not as inherently adventurous as Mabel or Ford- so the portal wouldn't treat him well. If he's not the one in the portal, he'd be into stargazing and real magic to share with people, while also warding tourists away from the dangerous stuff. In general, he'd be an unhappy adult if left to his own devices, lol.

Between Dipper and Mabel, I like Dipper being in the portal more. He's a great protagonist, but as a supporting cast member, he needs to be more insane to match the draw that is 'Mabel taking care of children,' ha. I also love the idea of there being no portal / some other looming threat for these two to struggle with (at least because Hirsche has made it clear that Dipper and Mabel are equally smart, and to me it seems like the portal would reopen way quicker with them), but I didn't plan on posting these and I don't know how my followers feel about me posting lore.

Stanford and Stanley:

Pretty much how they are in canon, but now they're in a setting where they can get over themselves, ha. They aren't quite as mature as Dipper and Mabel were at their age, but after coming to GF, they finally found other people to look out for them. Dipper could be a more emotionally available and level-headed role model (I think having people to take care of is calming for him in turn), and they'd both look up to Mabel as the peak of somebody who knows how to socialize.

Fiddleford:

He's a sweet, southern, farm-raised mechanical engineer just like in canon.

Idk why Fiddleford is in GF (visiting an unnamed grandparent?), but I really like his relationship with Ford in the journal. Following that thought, in this AU, he starts out more of Ford's friend than Stan's, and it's kind of a big deal. Unlike Dipper's arc on learning to be a kid, Stan and Ford clearly struggled a lot with interpersonal relationships / finding security outside of eachother, and that's what I think this AU could be about (it's great they realized they need each other in canon, but the part where they had no one else to turn to is also kinda crazy if you ask me).

Ford gets to meet another smart kid in a weird town, which helps him feel more normal. He has a better idea of what friendship is because of it, but also, since I can't imagine Dipper wanting an apprentice so young/vulnerable/impressionable or Mabel asking only one of the twins to stay- he'd have to come to terms with the fact that he can't live in his dream world forever. (Or maybe the apprenticeship comes from somewhere else, just because the conflict around going back to Glass Shard Beach at all, or sending Stan alone could be pretty good.)

On the flipside, I think Stan's initial jealousy of Ford and Fiddleford's friendship would force him to try finding his own friends / hobbies. I like the idea that he fails at first- and a lot- but Mabel notices his mounting frustration (which he is very keen on hiding), and her consistent and unorthodox support makes him realize he wasn't alone to begin with. He can be more open around her, which makes it easier to open up to others, and then he can make friends without having to pull any tricks. He probably starts with some animals, and then at least gets closer to Fiddleford anyways (I feel like they're both more practical than Ford and value human company more, so they'd bond easier once Stan gets over his personal hurdle).

Anyways- because that was way too much- Mabel's exes are a constant source of antagonists and Dipper is stressed about setting a good example.

(I was more of a Monster Falls fan back in the day, but I can't draw animals, lol)