#that directly target lgbt people then you are all transphobes

[gibbearish]

hey @humans saw yall responded to a post making fun of you for updating the pixel alignment of a dash icon rather than fixing anything important saying "changes like this feel small but can make a big difference for some people" which is a bullshit cop out if ive ever heard one so im here to tell you directly in a way you cant wiggle out: you know what would actually make a big difference for a LOT of people? not being transphobic assholes

[hiiragi7]

Exercise: Exposing intersexism in yourself

Perisex (non-intersex) people please take time to work through this. I'd also appreciate if you reblogged, even if you don't have time to do the exercise.

When you think of an 'intersex body', what comes to mind?

-Do you think of a stereotypical "hermaphrodite"? (Ex. a penis + vagina, a penis + pair of breasts, a very feminine person with a beard)

Do you, or have you ever, used one of the following arguments;

-Intersex people are living proof that trans people exist/that gender/sex is not binary

-Intersex existing disproves everything TERFs/transphobes believe in

-Cis kids with hormone issues are allowed to take HRT or participate in sports, which is hypocritical against trans people

-Nobody is forcing kids into sex reassignment surgery or hormones, that isn't a thing that happens

-Any kind of argument which uses intersex people as a statistic, whether that is framing intersex people existing as either "common" or "rare"

Do you, or have you ever, said any of the following statements;

-Technically I'm biologically intersex now because I took HRT/had surgery, which makes me biologically nonbinary aka intersex

-I tell people that I am intersex/have a hormone condition to avoid discrimination

-I wish I was born as/could become intersex, it would help my dysphoria a lot

-Intersex people are so lucky because they're already biologically nonbinary, they don't even need to transition

-This animal was born with a mix of sex characteristics/without a sex/developed characteristics of the opposite sex over time, which means they're nonbinary/trans

When it comes to sex, do you;

-Believe that sex is binary

-Believe that all intersex people are infertile

-Believe that all intersex people produce both sperm and egg

-Fantasize about intersex bodies, or consume or create porn that displays either intersex bodies or exaggerated stereotypes of hermaphroditic bodies

-Ask invasive questions about what genitals or reproductive organs an intersex person has

-Treat AFAB/AMAB the same as "[non-medically-transitioned] perisex female/perisex male", such as saying "AFAB anatomy" when you really mean vulva, vagina, uterus, ovaries, breasts, and so on

-Believe that HRT/surgery makes you intersex

-Believe that intersex only covers certain types of variation in sex and not others (Ex. Counting ovotestes, CAIS, and CAH as intersex but not counting PCOS or Klinefelter's)

When it comes to creating (artwork, writing, videos, etc), do you;

-Wish to include an intersex character, but do little or no research on how to write/draw them

-Fail to consider how your work will affect real-life intersex people consuming your work

-Ask random intersex people to help you create an intersex character

-Wish to include an intersex character because you personally think intersex people are interesting, or because you are seeking to include as many marginalized identities as you can

-Create intersex characters because you personally find them sexy

-Refer to characters as "hermaphrodites"

-If you create pride artwork or sell pride artwork, if you include a large variety of other LGBT+ identities but do not include intersex, why is this?

When it comes to advocacy work, do you;

-Fail to bring up intersex issues in conversations which should directly involve them, such as the Kansas bathroom bill

-Attempt to push intersex people out of queer spaces by saying that they are not queer

-Fail to recognize or acknowledge how many anti-queer and anti-trans arguments are inherently also anti-intersex arguments

-Say that intersex people are just "collateral damage" or "just caught in the crossfire/targeted by mistake" when it comes to discussing discrimination

-Never think to bring intersex flags or pins or similar to pride even as an ally, contributing to pride being vastly void of intersex pride

-Never attempt to organize protests specifically for intersex rights, or never bring intersex issues up in LGBTQIA+ support groups or resource centers or online

-Never educate others on intersex issues or lift up intersex voices

-Believe that intersex people have more rights than other marginalized groups, or that they are not discriminated against for being intersex

-Believe that all intersex people who are discriminated against are only discriminated against because people believe that they are transgender

Now, not all of these will point towards you being intersexist; however, if you find yourself hitting several points listed here, you do likely have some internalized biases and intersexism to unpack.

[transwolvie]

general "I'm tme" disclaimer but I do for real have some thoughts about how dreadful ppl are about trans women wanting gender affirming surgeries

genuinely one of the things that people are the MOST cruel and hateful about in this world is neo vaginas. so many transmisogynistic jokes boil down to two things:

1. "Ew she has a dick"

And if she doesn't:

2. "Well it's not REAL, it's just a mutilated dick"

I think a lot of people are (rightfully) caught up in debunking the demonization of women with dicks, and that's fine because some women will always have dicks, but I think it leaves out a crucial part of transmisogyny. Even if a trans woman does it all "right," even if she has boobs and a vagina, she is STILL singled out as not a "real" woman. She is still seen as a deceiver utilizing "fake" parts in a way that a cis woman who needs a vaginoplasty would never be characterized.

From the original transphobic shit Dave Chappelle was peddling to TERFs specifically targeting The Great Wall of Vulva art piece with accusations of "replicating the appearance of fgm," there's a long reaching campaign to portray trans women's vaginas as not just counterfeit but insulting and harmful to "real" womanhood.

The lack of celebration and instead the heavy criticism of gender affirming surgeries for trans women even within the LGBT+ community itself makes it clear that these ideas have been duplicated even among other trans people—not only is top surgery for breast removal much more celebrated, you get people like Richard O'Brien, who is nonbinary himself, accusing trans women of "self mutilation" and directly saying they will never be women. Even in attempted "progressive" spaces there is a push that trans women "don't really need" surgery, which ultimately functions to silence women discussing the surgeries they DO want and the function and safety of those surgeries. In the oh-so-progressive groups they are essentially still saying "nooo, don't mutilate yourself haha, keep your dick, we love your dick," and like...... firstly, fuck whatever YOU think of her dick, she's not obligated to keep it, secondly, even past the gross amount of ownership over a woman's body that this shows, it reveals that even these people quietly believe that vaginoplasty is, rather than a functional surgery, a form of self-harm and mutilation. A trans woman is not just her dick, especially because it's HER decision on whether she even wants one! If you are suddenly uninterested or disgusted by a trans woman the moment she has a vagina, did you ever see her for more than just the penis she used to have? Like ffs.

And as much as I'd LIKE to cheer for counteracting this issue by posting more actual visual representation of top surgery and vaginoplasty—in educational posts, in irl pics, in drawings, whatever!—this is also limited specifically by Tumblr's porn ban. "Queerest place online" or whatever they try to say my ass.

[nothorses]

I've been a part of lesbian and women's spaces that are super inclusive and welcoming of trans women, and 3 biggest differences between them and groups that turn transphobic are: demographics, demographics, demographics.

Age range from 21 to 60+ leaning heavily toward older folks. NOT just young, chronically online people who get radicalized in echo chambers. You have no idea how incredible it is to hear an older lesbian couple proudly telling everybody about their trans daughter going to college. Our elders in the LGBT+ community know what it's like to be isolated and afraid, and too often we don't listen to them.

Includes people from all over the world, whose primarily language is not English. Radicalization campaigns are happening in English-language countries and online spaces, and we need that cultural counterbalance and voice of reason.

Above all: they include women of color. So much transphobic rhetoric throws WOC under the bus, and white people don't care. I still can't get out of my head that time terfs ridiculed the Chinese women's track team, calling them men in disguise, because white women are unable to wrap their heads around WOC looking different from idealized white female beauty standards. African women athletes CONSTANTLY have their womanhood questioned by white people. If a lesbian space has any allyship across racial lines then they realize how transphobic rhetoric directly harms their members.

People who talk about lesbian/women's spaces being overtaken by terfs or that every transphobe they've run into is a lesbian need to ask the question if those women are young, white, middle class English speakers who only engage with other white women like them...because I've got some big news about the nature of most bullies who have targeted me in my life.

Ask any poor person, person of color, elder, immigrant, etc etc about the kinds of people who target them, and they'll tell you the same thing. There is a point when the privilege afforded by class, race, and culture outweighs any lessons a person could gain from having a marginalized sexuality.

[silurisanguine]

ABOUT ME, for those who've just followed me.

Those who've followed me because of THAT post, let me say, check my bio. The majority of my posts are about video games, cats, goth stuff and my art/writing/cosplay. I go gaga over Adam Jensen and Deus Ex, I have a god damn tattoo because of my love of Dishonored. I make and wear costumes from my favourite games.

I just grew up in a left wing political family. So if i see some shit i comment on it.

But If you've followed thinking i am a political blog. i am political, but it's not my theme. Thanks.

Somehow this post i made a few months back about JK Rowling and how supporting her work supports her, has blown up I've got alot of new followers because of it. Political stuff isnt my main focus as i'm an artist, but welcome everyone whose joined. I thought i'd explain WHY i posted that post. I'm British and have many trans friends, but even if i didn't know a single one i support Trans people because what's happening in the UK sickens me. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Trans people deserve access to help and support. Terfs can fuck off. Terfs - Anon DMing me your bile does nothing to me. It shows your weakness. if post anon, you will be outed. JK Rowling has done irrevocable harm to trans lives in the UK. Because of her fame she has used that to lobby British government to stop laws that would help trans people. She has created a huge amount of terf support here and the UK is not a trans friendly place to be. I despise her and everything she has written. She uses that support and wealth gained from it, thinking those that support her work, support her views. When i stated 'It does make me wonder if she was a homophobe, racist, fascist etc whether her 'fans' would still be like - but you can support the art but not the artist' I meant it in terms of being OUT AND OUT homophobic/racist/anti-Semetic. She isn't public with that, even if she very much is those things above. It's there in Harry Potter if you understand her use of imagery and wording. But she does not outwardly promote those views. She does outwardly promote her anti trans rhetoric. Uses her fame and wealth to promote it and others who feel the same. I've had SO many DMs asking advice and all i can say is do your research, it's not hard to find information on how awful she is. But I'm not an expert. There are many articles out there, especially directly commenting on posts SHE has made. But here's three articles i found. LGBT sources are excellent as they are the ones most targeted by her rhetoric, though avoid LGB sources as those are VERY TERF. https://zora.medium.com/j-k-rowling-is-transphobic-her-legacy-is-now-filled-with-bigotry-d5b310d88ee4 https://www.advocate.com/people/2020/6/06/jk-rowling-goes-full-terf-new-series-transphobic-tweets https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/news/safety-and-dignity/

[vampish-glamour]

Have you noticed that most of the responses on homophobic posts are about trans and bi people? Like I saw this post where a straight woman was talking about how she can't relate to lesbians because she can't give up dick and she doesn't like pussy (which,like, that is the point of her sexuality) and most of the responses were people saying that "some women have dicks" or mentioning strap-ons. Or when someone says that they oppose same sex marriage or think being gay is unnatural because same sex couples can't reproduce and most of the responses are about bi people in straight relations or pre op trans people. These people think it's like a great gotcha moment but I think it's so dumb because it doesn't tackle actual homophobia. When you see someone saying that lesbians are weird because they don't like dick and your immediate response is "some women have dicks" you are just enforcing the idea that lesbians love and miss dick or whatever. That's also homophobic. When your immediate response to someone saying that same sex relationships are bad because they can't reproduce and you say "bi people in straight relationships can" you are not actually dealing with homophobia. Sorry for the rant

Oh, I’ve definitely noticed that!! I’ve made a post before about how sometimes it feels like online, transphobia is taken way more seriously than homophobia. I’ve even found myself laughing a good amount of times because people will list of undesirable traits (like racist, sexist, etc.) and list transphobic but not homophobic.

First of all, I really really hate the “sOme WoMeN HavE DiCks” argument. Because yes, while many trans women don’t get bottom surgery, I don’t think that’s something they want you to point out. And considering how small the population of trans people is, and how the population of trans women either pre-op or who don’t get the snip would be compared to that... “some women have dicks” as an argument seems as unnecessary as “some people have one arm”, y’know what I mean?

Also, don’t like the “some women have dicks” being brought up when it comes to lesbian attraction. Lesbians aren’t attracted to dick, even if it’s on a woman. Plus, trying to make lesbians seem more “acceptable” by saying “well some are with women who have dicks”? Super homophobic IMO. Because people hate homosexuals for our same sex attraction, so it’s not great to reassure them that “dw it’s not always like that”.

As for strap ons, I genuinely can’t wait for the day when people realize that a piece of plastic on a belt is insanely different from a human body part. It’s so gross to me that people try to pretend the two are the same, because it always ends up being to try to convince lesbians to like or tolerate penis.

The same sex marriage thing... that’s just such a nonsensical argument lol. Bi people in opposite sex relationships aren’t in same sex relationships, so they just aren’t part of the equation. Saying “yeah but bi people can reproduce with their opposite sex partner” has the same weight in the argument as “yeah but straight people in opposite sex relationships can reproduce”.

Mentioning pre-op trans people is a weird response, too. Because it’s basically saying “don’t worry, some same sex couples are like the couples you approve of, they can make babies!!”. I’d argue that it encourages homophobia, because it implies that the Acceptable same sex couples are the ones with trans people able to reproduce. Meaning, “the only same sex couples that are acceptable are the ones closest to opposite sex couples”.

You are absolutely right that these sort of responses don’t tackle homophobia. As I said, I think it almost enforces homophobia.

Instead of saying “some people are different from you and that’s okay”, it’s saying “yeah fine you don’t like gay people... but have you considered these things that can make a gay person more like you? Those gay people are acceptable.”

Appropriate responses would be

“You don’t need to relate to lesbians to accept them. You’re heterosexual, they’re homosexual. Of course you’re attracted to different things”.

“So what if a couple can’t reproduce? You’re not saying that infertile straight people can’t get married, are you?”

But anything that involves “yeah well sometimes gay people can be [insert something more “acceptable” to a homophobe]” doesn’t tackle homophobia. Especially when you’re pulling the “some women have dicks” thing to insist that don’t worry, some lesbians like penis!! To people who hate same sex attraction.

It often feels like homophobia is downplayed, or overshadowed by other Xphobias. People need to remember that homophobia affects every letter in the LGBT acronym.

LG because they’re homosexual and the main target of homophobia

B because homophobes hate same sex attraction, and hate bisexuals for experiencing it

T because homophobes often lump trans people in with homosexuals, and treat them accordingly

So it’s about time we tackle it directly instead of throwing all these weird arguments out that often just dwindle down to “but you can agree that these gays are acceptable, because they follow your norms, right?”

(Also, no need to apologize for ranting! 💖)

[queerhannibal]

That person you're stubbornly supporting made the panphobe list not because the original offender horrorlesbians was being panphobic b they had some sort of falling out (he was only a follower) so he made it his personal vendetta and targeted a lot of other lesbians and brown people. The brown people were put in a worse category and he called them monkeys. This has snowballed and a lot of people have gotten caught in the crossfire. Most of the people this individual managed to convince are minors or very naive people, other people have seen other 'panphobes' reacting to this in solidarity and have gotten the wrong impression if anything many bloggers are against the pansexual label for its origins based on biphobia and transphobia as you yourself said. People calling themselves panphobes is a reaction to this individual's lesbophobia and racism, if anything is an act of solidarity, yet they keep receiving anons, vagues and call outs. Please don't fall for it and don't give this person a platform. Everything was in the blog he deleted (most likely because it made him look bad). The person keeps reblogging you and acting offended and other lgbt people have fallen for it.

Horrorlesbians and their “beloved mutuals” started calling themselves panphobes publicly before the panphobe block list came out, in support of blogger fieropasta who is an avid and vociferous panphobe. I haven’t seen the block list and I don’t know anything about the person who made it (I don’t even know who they are) and quite frankly I don’t care about it at all, as it had nothing to do with the statements I made on my blog

Many people have erroneously called me a biphobe in the last few weeks, but because I love and support bi people I would never even jokingly say that I was one, and even if that were the only reason these people claimed to be panphobes (which I have evidence to suggest it is not) I would still be appalled by that behavior

There is not and never has been anything inherently biphobic or transphobic about identifying as pansexual. Was the term created based on certain biphobic or transphobic ideals? Maybe. Are there biphobic and transphobic pansexuals? Sure. But there are people like that within any sexuality, and most pansexuals do not identify as pansexual out of hatred or misunderstanding but bc they just prefer using a term that doesn’t (however incidentally) imply an attraction to only two genders. It’s horrifying to me that you would dismiss people claiming to hate a group of people for their sexuality just bc other people were bigoted against them and/or being mean to them??????

It’s literally morally wrong to be panphobic. If someone were mean to my friend and called them a lesbophobe and I was like “well then I’m a lesbophobe too” that would be wrong of me, wouldn’t it? And that’s literally what these people are doing. If someone calls you out for doing something wrong and they’re wrong to do that, the appropriate response is to say “I can’t believe you’d say that about me, of course I’m not a panphobe, I support people’s right to identify as different sexualities”. It’s amazing to me that you’re making an argument that anything else is appropriate lmao like????

I was not “””convinced””” by that anon, I was well aware of the problem before anyone said anything to me about it and just hadn’t said anything bc I’m old and tired and I try to stay out of discourse these days, but when directly asked to comment on my stance I sure as hell fucking have one

I’m sorry someone was being racist to these people (although all the people I personally knew on the reported blocklist were white, including horrorlesbians and fieropasta, the only two I have personally said anything against) but that has nothing to do with them being shitty to pansexual people, which is the only thing I have said anything about at all.

It disgusts me that you think it’s acceptable to come to me and try to say “don’t you know it’s racist to dislike panphobes” as if those two things have ANYTHING to do with each other. And I can assure you plenty of “”real”” panphobes are out there; just look at the notes on my posts about how it’s okay to be pan. This isn’t a made up problem someone came up with to be racist, it’s real and it hurts real people

[g3nosarchive]

ok i genuinely think a lot of other people have this problem but stop inserting yourself when xyz issue is mentioned. when someone is telling you that a person, a celebrity, some franchise is harming their identity or anyone’s identity as a minority, or part of a certain race or religion or anything shut the fuck up and accept it.

they do not need to know your emotional attachment to said thing, your disbelief, your horror, your personal experience - we didn’t ask for all that. we know just how bad it is, cus yk it harms us maybe? we’ve already gone through the cycle of being angry and indignant and now we’re here trying to get you to understand in the hopes that as a friend you do what you’re meant to do when you became friends with us. we are not your constant ball of anger to use whenever you find something that’s “crazy, unbelievably, shockingly” once again, a hate crime, when you decide you want to feel angry and care about it.

more under the cut bc i talk too much

by doing that, you’re making an issue that you didn’t even know about suddenly yours. ask yourself, what is the purpose for telling anyone all that? to get them to sympathize with you personally so you can get a pass because you didn’t know? of course you don’t know, of course you’re unaware, that’s the whole reason why you’re being told in the first place. do not water down the issue or even try to play the ‘everything has some issue like this so there’s no point in going this far’ card. especially as a white person. the reason why you don’t know primarily is because it doesn’t affect you and it doesn’t cross your mind.

when you watch a show with a black character, you don’t care about how off the character design is or how stereotypical and borderline racist the comedy gag surrounding said character is. when you listen to your favorite white music artists or watch your favorite movie with a majority white cast, white staff, white team, and white theme, you don’t care to analyze just how outdated and stereotypical the way that token asian character is portrayed. some of y’all don’t understand and will never understand the mental struggle and awareness forever plugged into the brain of lgbt and/or poc, especially black people when we consume anything, when we go anywhere, when we meet new people, to constantly catch those micro aggressions and know what to avoid.

so when someone tells you insert classic hot mess is racist and you should stop supporting it, one of the worst things you can do beside outright rejecting it is to defend it and insinuate that we don’t know what we’re talking about, that we need 30 different sources to prove it all, that you don’t think (for example taylor swifts dream colonized africa mv) is bad. you try to say the thing or person that is actively promoting all this homophobia, racism, transmisogyny etc needs to be kindly educated, is trying their best, will learn soon enough, just wasn’t educated, will do better in the future (esp looking at u kpop stans). does their apparent regret but refusal to properly apologize actually matter? the damage has already been done.

that in itself is a privilege i could never have. i don’t even try being a fan of any major white celebrity or any kpop group because i guarantee if i search up their name with ‘racist’, ‘sexist’, ‘homophobic’, ‘transphobic’, ‘cultural appropriation’ behind it something or some image is bound to show up. you will all say “oh they haven’t done anything yet” but when it comes out that they did, they have, and they do not care about who it affects, suddenly it’s a bombshell dropped on you out of nowhere.

it’s not that hard to spot these things actually. if your fav is constantly putting themselves against people of color, saying shady shit about non cishets while being a cishet themself, saying one thing and doing another, or has been silent when their voice was expected to speak up, shouldn’t you notice? y’all will reblog all these posts but in reality only 10% are actually reading and listening and actually digesting this information for future use.

and i think the thing that pisses me off is this is all from personal experience where i’m speaking from. over the past 2 days the amount of times if i’ve heard about the “tea that dropped w meghan markle” is ridiculous and annoying. a girl texted me and i sat there and i realized that she does this on a daily basis to fuel my anger and get me to validate her own useless anger. of course i knew about it and i wasn’t surprised at all - she’s still a black woman.

almost every black blog on here, when they get big enough, deals with some sort of weird shit surrounding their blackness. if you get big on speaking about issues you are now this emotionless token ‘smart black person i can actually trust’ to use as your replacement for google. this is not to say asking questions is bad, but it is so easy to pull up some of the shit you guys ask for. some people get called slurs directly, targeted for being too black or not black enough, attacked for their features and etc and someone mentioned this before but the only people that care in those situations are other black people themselves. white people will have blm in their bio but turn the other way the minute some anon starts acting up in their mutuals’ inbox, calling them a dark1e because they felt confident enough to post some selfies. and then you get sad when we dont go to you for any kind of support? 

i’ve stated sometimes that asking me questions on issues and things is okay, but one of the main reasons i say that is because whether i say it or not, i’ll be asked questions and expected to know everything and i am your personal walking encyclopedia and ofc it’s natural for me to have all this information in my head, as if i didn’t research it myself. but then i think about the numerous amounts of people that specifically say not to ask them this shit because it really does tire you out, that they don’t want to have to deal with this in any space but they still get them. 

and then the ones that don’t even know themself so people will use them as an example and say “well this person didn’t know and they’re ‘marginalized identity’ so it should be fine for me too”. good god just apologize, show that you really care, change your behavior and move on. do you think it was fun being asked the statistics for george floyd’s and other black peoples death in class? that you were being inclusive and giving me a chance to show off my intelligence, to prove to others that i really had something up here and you were my greatest star eyes white friend that gave me that chance? i cant close my posts like this properly but i want you to think about that shit and actually ask yourself if you’d do that. a lot of you will read this and think “i’m not that type of racist” “i don’t have those deep seated prejudices in me” yes you do. you just haven’t been called out on it.

for all the shit ive dealt with above, if i’ve ever talked to you about this before dont come to me to apologize i do not need it and you are not the only person i’ve received this from. i guarantee you that there’s about 20 other people i’ve thought about while writing this post considering i’m a black person in the real world, so keep your guilt to yourself an deal with it

white people don’t add on to this

[bitch-in-a-bag]

can we talk about how the LGBT movement has changed in the past 15 years?

in the light of the events surrounding Chris chan, and people prioritizing pronouns over the rape of a woman with dementia, I think it displays just how... different things are.

i personally feel like it's been co-opted by the more loud and entitled mtfs/ males/penis-havers/whatever pc term exists for the XY chromosome'd, who go too far and aren't reasonably kept in check. I think terf no longer has meaning anymore because it's just become a word we use to silence anyone that disagrees with a trans woman. immediately you're going to call me a terf, I accept that, but please continue reading. I may suprise you. calling someone who's transgender a terf is kinda messed up anyway, and that's exactly why im writing this.

I also think that everyone else (allies, ftms, etc) have followed suit because they've written this messed up narrative that EvErYoNe iS VaLiD. except for trans penis-havers, bc they're the most oppressed and the most valid, actually, regardless of their experiences.

I never used to believe the above because it was always written off as terf shit, and ignoring it kinda benefitted me, but between seeing ftms getting bashed for refusing to follow new "TME" rules as if they aren't trans too, and seeing outrage around Chris chans pronouns, I think it's time to start saying things that may make people uncomfortable. innocent people are already getting hurt by this, and we need to do better. it's time to get uncomfortable.

I want to remind you that perception is both the relying factor, and also the downfall of newer lgbt theory. if my profile were mtf coded, maybe it currently is, you'd call me a self hating trans and I wouldn't be that big of a deal. terfs would probably target me.

if my profile was ftm coded, I would be absolutely skewered for daring to speak out about these issues, even though they do actually affect ftms disproportionately. terfs would try to convince me that being trans is a plague and a mental illness, and to just ~be a cis woman~!

and if assumed cis, I would 100% be assumed radfem terf, and everything I say would immediately be dismissed because of the genuine damage terfs have done. but terfs would still probably flock to this post and berate me for daring to validate trans people At All, because to them, being transgender is a mental illness akin to an eating disorder, and "giving in" to it is "self harm". clearly I don't believe that, so hopefully you'll give me at least some benefit of the doubt.

so, does my identity matter? i have a feeling you'll say yes, because it gives us a good idea of experiences I do and don't have expertise in, and thus room to talk about. but I refuse to directly identify what I actually am because I want the focus of any resulting conversation to be my message and not my self identification. if you read between the lines and figure it out that's just fine, but I would like to be heard first and foremost.

my profile is thus an attempt at being cis female coded, somewhat out of comfort, and that is likely what I'll be assumed to be due to the beliefs I am expressing, even though there is a substantial risk of getting misgendered and dismissed, no matter what my birth sex may actually be. i will give you a hint about my identity: I am transgender, on HRT and everything, and I have been personally affected by all of this. rest assured, this is well within my lane to speak about, and it does matter if you misgender me.

I want you to really think about that. before you respond, really think about if someone saying words on tumblr, talking about their OWN experiences and their take on recent history that applies to themself, really more worthy of being misgendered and harassed than... someone who said they transitioned so they could date lesbians, and then raped their own mother with dementia.

is that fair or just? or is this just a new way of letting people with penises do whatever they want? I personally think it's the latter. we need to hold people like Chris chan accountable without getting caught up on something as minor **in comparison** as misgendering and self identification. Is it sad and confusing that someone who self IDs as transgender became 1:1 with the most dangerous stereotypes that exist for trans women? Of course it is. But it doesn't mean that self identification is suddenly more important than a literal crime being committed.

I would normally dismiss it as a fluke or outright trolling if the evidence weren't so damning that this is in fact a real event that happened. If I hadn't seen this happen to other people, and if I didn't literally know another mtf person who used their dysphoria as an excuse for date rape on multiple occasions and never got any consequences for it.

It's not a one time thing, it's a developing problem that we need to stop before more people have their lives ruined. I can't even imagine how traumatizing and messed up it is for an FTM person to be date raped, by another transgender person no less. When I, an abuse survivor, told people of this MTFs red flags, people violently silenced me. People who didn't know I was trans called me a terf and transphobic. We, as a community, could've protected someone from getting date raped, and we didn't. Trans women can be awful, horrible fucking people, because they are people. Protecting them at all costs is wrong. Protecting them from transphobia is what we should be doing.

That being said, misgendering is still skeevy, and I haven't done anything like raped a disabled woman who is no longer able to consent, or date raped my own partner. if you give a shit about respecting my identity, please use they/them for me. if not, use visual perception and make assumptions that will most likely be incorrect, skew your own argument, and put me on the same level as a rapist, and arguably a fetishist. And I do need to remind you that calling someone transgender a rapist and a fetishist without evidence is still definitely classic transphobia, to the letter, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that.

as someone who is same sex attracted, I also want to bring this up as well.

in the US in the past 15 years, the movement as a whole pretty much went "YEAH BORN THIS WAY" with Lady Gaga, and then jumped ship to prioritize mostly mtfs at every angle. do mtfs need support? absolutely. but they don't need misguided toxic positivity, and that's what it's turned into.

it's gotten genuinely homophobic to the point where actually homosexual people are constantly being erased and demonized via "genital preferences are a fetish uwu", and vulva havers, especially the trans ones, are constantly being told to shut up about their experiences.

as much as you want to deny bioessentialism, its still very much well and alive with newer trans movement sentiments when we classify ftms as not worthy of speaking about their own issues with terms like "TME". it's also incredibly ignorant towards FTMs who pass, but dress feminine for comfort, and get mistaken for MTF, and treated like garbage because of it. They are not remotely exempt from misogyny, transphobia, or the intersection of the two, and it is not anyone's job to tell them they don't ever experience that when they do. Turning ftms and biological homosexuals into our enemies-- especially when the actual cause is transphobia and harmful gender stereotypes-- does nothing good or healthy for our movement.

Dont be mistaken, though, passing isn't the focus or end all be all here, it's the perception of others that ends up drastically effecting your experiences. There are words like misogyny that imply treatment via birth sex, however this too can be reliant on external perception. If an MTF individual either transitions very young, has an abundance of resources to transition, or just gets lucky and passes well, chances are she will experience a lot more misogyny than people may give credit to. inversely, someone who just started questioning yesterday, but lived as a male their whole life up until then, they genuinely cannot speak about misogyny with that much room because they simply haven't experienced it at an accurate enough angle or for enough time to understand it as a repeated and sociological force.

It works the other way as well, though; someone who's known that they're trans for a long time and haven't had the resources to transition, or do not or cannot pass in the eyes of society; these people suffer pain that we don't neccesarily have a word for yet, imo. It makes dysphoria worse and it makes living seem hopeless. And as a community, we deal with this is in a really messed up way by over-validating them instead of solving the core issue at hand. and people who suffer from this, but also acknowledge they can't claim what they haven't experienced, are left with nowhere to go.

And its important to acknowledge these things because they're integral to the over-encompassing trans experience. Instead of lying to everyone and telling everyone they pass/giving out unconditional positive regard, our focus should be making it so that it **doesn't matter if you pass**. that you're still worth respect and dignity if you're transgender, no matter what passing is or what it means to you, and no matter how you present. But also, if you do something awful, you still need to be held accountable, especially if you use yourself, your body, or your trans status to contribute to other axi of oppression.

Transphobia is a word that encompasses and addresses all of that, regardless of birth sex. "TME" shuts that down in favor of only letting MTF's speak. Which is still very bio-essentialist, and I can't help but feel like we've gone full circle.

Once upon a time you couldn't even get married if your partner had the same genitals as you. in the US, this was less than 7 years ago. and if you care about human rights activism, you know damn well that legal modification is not the end all be all. people who are genuinely homosexual are still oppressed, but the trans movement has started stepping on them to make ground we don't deserve. homosexuals are ok and valid. it's not a genital preference, and the prescence of trans people doesn't make conversion therapy sentiments ok, ever.

we've gone full circle, and it's not right.

[maryibgarry102]

Me: Bring up how bi/pan lesbian can have lesbophobic implications that make me uncomfortable (ie the idea that lesbians can be attracted to men, or that lesbian as an identity is only about sex), makes it very clear, MULTIPLE TIMES, that i'm only bringing up my feelings about the term and how it can make me uncomfortable as a lesbian as opposed to saying "you can't ID this way whatsoever and if you do i want to attack you and exclude you from the community"

Them: Don't ID police, also infighting makes us weak so don't blame them as a whole for homophobia/transphobia and like just focus on being a community, it's not our place to be critical of other labels? so like don't do it at all :)

Like not once did I say people aren't allowed to ID as bi/pan lesbians (cause like even if i personally am upset by it i can't force them to ID as something else and i don't know their sexuality/gender like they do), or that they somehow aren't allowed in the LGBT community, and not once did I blame that label or those individuals who use it for homophobia/transphobia as a whole (i literally just said that as a lesbian i'm upset by the implications because it can contribute to lesbophobia).

Also, the LGBT community is literally made up of multiple, smaller identities that face their own sets of issues, some of which are not shared by everyone. There will naturally be conflict! Even more, if there are issues, they need to be at the very least addressed if we ever hope to change for the better. If we ignore these problems in an effort not to upset anyone, how will we ever get better? How will we ever grow stronger as a community? Conflict and criticism is necessary for learning and growing, and we'll never be able to have better intersectionality and be a better, healthier community if we try to completely avoid it.

Like, I used to ID as pansexual, and when I did I first defined it as "liking women, men, and transgender people." I wasn't aware of the transphobia in that at the time because I was young and uneducated. However, hearing what trans people would say about it, educating myself online, and being critical of myself helped me to realize I was being transphobic. Was it a comfortable experience? No, but it was necessary to learn and get better. I promptly changed my definition to "I'm attracted to all genders." (Turns out I'm a lesbian, and also pan as a label can in some situations be problematic too? but that's not the focus of this post.) I was never going to improve upon that transphobia if I never tried to address it or if no one confronted me about it. Would you rather have me continue to use that transphobic definition and ignore confronting me about it because it would make me "uncomfortable"?? NO LIKE THE OBVIOUS ANSWER IS NO, because the idea being spread about transgender people contributed to transphobia, whether intended or not, and was harmful. Being critical of labels, definitions, and what we say/do is necessary in some situations; after all, if we never were critical, how could we improve upon our issues?

We all have biases and issues we deal with, and everything we do and say has consequences. It's never pleasant to realize something you do/say can hurt people, but we can't do nothing. Problems need to be addressed, at the least, if we ever hope to improve, even if it's not always a comfortable experience; our community is allowed to discuss intersectional issues, SHOULD discuss those issues, because it's how we learn, grow, and become stronger as a whole. NOT by ignoring those issues because they're not always comfortable to address.

Infighting also is NOT the same as being open to discussing the issues within our community and trying to improve upon our biases? Like what the fuck was that nonsense

And along with that, I'm horribly upset because it felt like the moment I brought up a lesbophobic thing that hurts me, it felt way blown out of proportion like I was somehow attacking people for saying "this thing, i feel, can contribute to lesbophobia and that is upsetting to me." I was responded to as if I was being unfair or overly critical; and like i know sometimes bringing up bi/pan lesbians and my worries about the label can be mistook as me targeting them (that of which I do not and will never do ever because it's cruel and ridiculous to do something like that) so I was VERY specific on "this thing can bother me, and i want to discuss it openly, but my opinion doesn't mean bi/pan lesbians don't have valid experiences or that they don't matter or aren't in the LGBT community." But even with me saying that, even saying it over and over to make sure I was getting my message across, being as direct and respectful and polite as possible, me bringing up lesbophobia was brushed off as "you shouldn't bring this up because it can make people uncomfortable."

How many times are lesbians told, when bringing up lesbophobia and how it hurts us, that the lesbian community and it's problems don't matter. Lesbians ask for basic decency and respect and time and time again, no matter how respectful or mindful we are when doing so, we're constantly made out as an evil community that doesn't matter, that causes unneccessary conflict, that is unreasonable and awful and, in some cases I've seen, "deserved to be oppressed." We have to deal with lesbophobia in the LGBT community A LOT, to the point where many lesbians feel horribly isolated and alone; it's so bad to the point that some TERFs will actively target lesbians so they can try and use that isolation to further manipulate their targets, many of which are minors, into becoming TERFs themselves. It's horrendous how rampant lesbophobia is, both in the open discrimination against us, as well as in the silence.

Anyways, I'm very upset as a lesbian because I feel like I'm dealing directly with that lesbophobia right now in the way I was responded to; even if it wasn't overt, even if it was subtle, I'm indirectly being told that I'm unreasonable, I'm being a bother by saying as a lesbian I'm hurt by something, I'm being told that I don't matter. That my identity as a lesbian and the pain I go through as a result of lesbophobia doesn't matter as much as someone getting uncomfortable when I point out even just the implication of lesbophobia. That hurts; I hurt.

I just feel so betrayed and isolated and upset right now. Sorry if this rant is a lot I'm just really not happy at the moment, like I've literally cried like 3 times in the past hour

[whoneedssexed]

Friendly reminder we are anti-exclusionist, ace/aro-inclusive,

and saying “you need to reevaluate your asexuality” is acephobic and generally disgusting to say, it is pathologization and the same kind of rhetoric as is lobbed at all other LGBT+ people (”but are you sure you’re just not traumatized? are you sure your identity is real and not just medicine? are you sure?”),

and implying ace people are inherently “confusing” the “true” queer people, you are using the same garbage rhetoric as TERFs use and homophobes use (”seeing gay people will confuse our children into thinking they’re gay” “lesbians are being tricked into thinking they’re trans by these confuses TRAs”).

Nobody’s obligated to “find a mutual understanding” with bigoted assholes. Nobody’s obligated to “debate” people they “disagree” with (and bigotry isn’t just a disagreement).

Blocking people instead of trying to “debate” them is not weakness, wrong, or bad. Because bigots don’t deserve nor are obligated to have a discussion with you on why you exist and deserve a place.

Aphobia is serious, aspec people are oppressed, they belong in the community.

Trying to turn the conversation into a debate on who’s the most oppressed is nasty. Types of oppression aren’t meant to be compared to each other and decided on which matters the most and who needs to shut up and stop talking about their suffering because it’s “not as bad”.

And when someone says that someone’s giving you the vibes of a specific bigoted group because what they say is that sort of rhetoric, and is someone targeted by that garbage, maybe don’t act like it’s cruel and mean for them to say “Hey, this person is putting off transphobic vibes with the things they are saying about nb people / dysphoria / “trenders” / “mogais” / trans men being inherently female and trans women inherently male / etc”.

If you disagree, get lost. I’m tired. I just found out some of our followers believe this. The things I address are taken directly from the tags of one of our more frequently interacting followers. I am trying to keep the drama down to a minimum on this blog but I’m so tired of our wishes not being respected because these kinds of bigots are so entitled.

LEAVE. If you are an exlcusionist, truscum, radfem, LEAVE. If you don’t think aphobia is serious or that any LGBT+ person needs to “reexamine” their identities or may “just be mentally ill and not really” LGBT+, LEAVE.

- mod BP

[ask-jumblr]

Thank you so much to everyone who’s been constructive.

Both commenters, and the anons below who were open about what they’re struggling with. Since all of the asks were either hateful, or seemed to be addressed at me, the mod, I’m going to handle them. 

Before you get too upset that I didn’t give all y’all equal chance to answer: I’m encouraging the anons to send in some asks dealing with the issues they’re mentioning, formatted in such a way that it’s easier for jumblr as a whole to constructively help. Based on their current asks, I can only ask questions about what they practically need.

Because I’ll be addressing the asks chronologically and the constructive asks come later, I’m going to put it all below the cut. If you don’t have energy today, don’t click through. Even the constructive stuff is heavy.

Here were the first two anon’s received:

Isn't Orthodox just exclusionary extremism? Aren't those the homophobes and transphobes who think you shouldn't be allowed to marry a non-Jew? Why aren't we staying focused on reform/recon Judaism?

It’s okay not to know things, although the assumption was a little harsh so I didn’t want to post it directly. In response I made a myth-busting post. Yes, it is American-centric, but here’s why: I can be pretty darn sure anon is American, or at least North American.

Given that you’re upset about intermarriage, you’re probably not Israeli. Given that the U.S. has the largest diaspora population, anon is likely American. Given that anon is referencing “Reform” Judaism as an alternative, they’re probably not in Britain (”Liberal Judaism”) or outside U.S./Britain/Canada/Israel (”Progressive Judaism” everywhere else).

Realistically speaking, I can’t call up every community everywhere. As an American coming out of a mediocre, Anglo-centric education system, I can only speak one other language with any competence and blurt a few words of a few more. If you want to know about a community in a specific place then please, please ask. There have been folks on here asking about communities all sorts of places who have gotten answers here. Jewish geography + the internet is amazing! When anon is American, with misconceptions about American Jews I’m going to assume such.

Orthodox Jews should probably stop existing. 

This ask is hateful and non-constructive. Hence the threat to block.

After this, I got some anons who are getting at some problems that we can really work on. They aren’t American, so I’ve assumed they aren’t the first anon.

hey if your responses and views could stop portraying us jewery as being the only way things are done and that we somehow all have access to the stuff you do, that would be grand

(cont) or where there zero chance of finding a group of that community that'll accept me and not treat me in hateful ways. I'm sorry that Jewery outside the US/NA is that unfamiliar to you and that our viewpoints and experiences makes you uncomfortable but I guess that's the way US Jews deal with Jewish "outsiders".

I’m going to start with part 1 to stay in order even though part 2 is what gets me antsy to help ya. You’re right. I don’t have a ton of experience with non-U.S. Jewery. That’s why I tag thoroughly and encourage folks who don’t know the answer to signal boost. If you’re specific, someone else on jumblr can help you. 

When anon asks are vague and, as they often do, reference U.S./North American terms for branches (”reform” rather than “liberal” or “progressive”), I’m going assume the anon us in the U.S. or greater North America. Most other respondents likely will too. Anon askers who want otherwise need to use terms that are more globally (”progressive”) or locally (”liberal”) appropriate, or give a little more locational information (e.g. city, country, region). Re-my new explanation above about American-centrism. I respect that you didn’t have the benefit of seeing the language in that ask, but I’m here to help you as much as I can without superfluously emailing every rabbi in every country for another anon who’s linguistically and statistically likely to be in New Jersey or Ohio or somewhere else in the U.S..

Now for part 2 (after “(cont)”), your concerns. (Getting something out of the way: Since you’re saying “Jewish “outsiders”” I’m going to assume you’re Jewish. However, many people reading this might not be; this audience has a lot of prospective converts. I want to point out that prospective converts aren’t entitled to conversion via any particular community. I might personally be dismayed, but it’s that community’s prerogative. Getting that community to a place where people who are already Jewish who are LGBTQ, have disabilities, etc. are accepted is going to be my priority if I were to harangue a community that’s not my own. In other words, people like anon. On that note...) I received another ask with a concern similar to part 2, by someone in a similar situation as a Jewish person under the LGBTQ umbrella whose only option is a community that won’t accept them. I’d like to answer these together. Here’s that second ask:

Not your first anon but there's no non-homophobic Orthodox community where I live. I live in Europe and maybe it is different in the US but the Orthodox communities here do NOT accept lgbt+ people. Or if they do it is under the "don't ask, don't tell" form of homophobia where you're accepted as long as you don't display it publicly or ask them to treat you as an equal in any way. So sorry for not feeling endeared to a group that have always hated me.

This means we’ve got a heck of a problem. There are Jewish people who don’t have a community and need one. Y’all (You all) don’t know me irl, but making sure Jewish people who want Jewish communities have Jewish communities is something I’m very big on. I’ve gotten some flack for being too welcoming or too focused on making sure synagogues are welcoming. I want you to know that we want you here. Unfortunately you aren’t close enough for me to personally offer you that hug.

You see, I’m a U.S. Jew, but I’m not one from a place like New York City where there’s a wealth of Jewish community options. (hint: #SouthernJews #ShalomY’all) I know those people near me who feel forgotten, ignored, scoffed at, or unvalued don’t always have another option (or that it’s a loooong drive and lots of gas money away). I am someone who has had to put in the work to build the community she wants and needs, and a community that is welcoming for the people she cares about. 

Putting aside the extent to which I’ve had to patch up my own education while trying to make sure others aren’t on their own doing it, I’ve also had an obstacle you’ll find more relatable. I know it’s not obvious, I’m also under that LGBTQ umbrella (sexuality, not really gender from my current self-understanding). I’m largely closeted irl because being Jewish makes me enough of a target and is harder to hide. I don’t discuss it much on the internet because I don’t want #woke #discourse about myself as I figure out my own identity, and don’t want my own processing  (yay for internalized -isms!) to hurt someone else. It’s fine that you didn’t know, but I want you to know now so that you can understand my experience:

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend in Israel who’s had to make community choices too. My friend (who is also under that umbrella) convinced me that I should go to a shul with a rabbi who was openly homophobic in the past because it’ll be the best balance between programming that meets my needs (adult learning! services!) and driving distance. The rabbi stopped being openly homophobic, so I know I can be in that community. But it’s not exactly my dream. I don’t plan on relying on that rabbi for psak or life-cycle events--at least not until I know more. Then again, I’m lucky. I’m lucky in that there are rabbis I feel comfortable getting psak from who speak my native language. I’m lucky that I know enough to know that a non-rabbi can officiate a commitment ceremony (and actually a Jewish wedding too...), and that I’m from a well-connected extended-family that is friends with rabbis elsewhere (whoot! Jewish geography!) who would happily come in to officiate for me (though it might be costly and they might only do commitment rather than marriage). And I’m lucky that my extended family would be supportive enough to do so for me (they’d be getting eager enough for me to marry anyone...).  I’m also lucky in that I could drive even farther and hit a Reform community that’s been more accepting for much longer. It doesn’t have the resources or programming I need, but I would have hypothetical access to a place with other Jews that has gender-neutral bathrooms and a rabbi who hasn’t said anything (recorded) that’s unaffirming of my existence.

But what about people who don’t have access to an alternate community? Or for whom that other community is even father from being a good fit?                   With work, it is possible to make change. Do you know why that shul’s rabbi stopped being openly homophobic? Maybe compassion. But there was an outside trend too: the community shifted away from homophobia to embrace its LGBTQ members, and he was forced to follow. It’s quite likely that movement stances and responsum helped, but community organizing, changing minds one-at-a-time, those were definitely pieces of the puzzle.

I want this blog to be here for you in figuring out how to make those changes. I began an initiative on here called Tikkunity. It’s a goofy name for an important mission: help people find strategies to make their communities more vibrant, more welcoming, more supportive, more accessible, more whatever someone needs. The ones I’ve put out so far aren’t as heavy as your topic, but Tikkunity is also here for what you’re looking for. I’ve gotten in touch with some other blogs about topics that are less obvious for communities, and a bit heavier too. If either of y’all feels comfortable messaging me from off anon (just make a side-blog with a random url), I’d love to draft a post with you. Alternately, if you send something constructive and specific enough such as “I only have one choice of community and I don’t feel safe or accepted there as a [insert LGBTQ identity/ies] person. How can I make my community more accepting of [my existence/my partnership/my pronouns/etc.]? FOR: Orthodox and [LGBTQ accepting/affirming/or other word or phrase of your choice that describes people who would be in-line with your goal]” or “ I only have one choice of community (there aren’t many Jewish people near me) and I don’t feel safe or accepted there as a [insert LGBTQ identity/ies] person. Does anyone have recommendations of what to do and tools to help me do Jewish stuff to do without the big community? How can I find people from that community willing to join me so it isn’t as lonely?” then I can post it off the bat

As much as I’m not letting askers generalize Orthodox Jews as individually homophobic/transphobic, the U.S. isn’t a utopia for LGBTQ [Orthodox] Jews looking for communities. “Don’t ask don’t tell” is how many U.S. Orthodox communities function. You’ll notice that the Orthodox LGBTQ-acceptance group I linked (Eshel) is an activist-type group from within the Orthodox community. The most effective change comes from within communities, which is why I’d rather you talk to Orthodox jumblrs than me. There are many LGBTQ Orthodox Jews on tumblr who might be willing and able to help you make that change via advice on a Tikkunity post, connecting you with other activists, or via a longer-term messaging relationship as they make change in their own communities. While I don’t think Eshel formally works outside the U.S. right now, that doesn’t mean you can’t ask them about expansion or see if they can connect you  with other laypeople community builders and shifters to provide mentorship and support.

If you can’t start within the community, you can start building alternate spaces with Jewish people you know who have been willing to engage with you. Even communities that are largely homophobic/transphobic aren’t a monolith. There’s lots of advice out there for people making “start-up” communities or “indepedent minyanim” or “chaburas.” It’s not fair that you have to do the work. But don’t take it out on all Orthodox Jews, individually, especially because some of them are on your side.

And if you’d rather move than make those changes then if/when you are able to move this blog can also be a resource for you. If you send in a message with the cities you’re considering and what you’re looking for in a community, someone in jumblr can likely help give some advice on where you’ll find the best community for you.

[ajw720]

There is A LOT wrong with that TSG message. But even if we ignore the obvious. I don't give a flying fuck how M identifies (which I doubt is anything other than straight apart from the novelty of it, a fellow LGBTQ+ person wouldn't do that D I like to think, but there are always horrible people so who knows) but if you run a bar and want to be professional you don't use that word (to be safe) because people more who are offended by it than not (me included, and doubt she meant it kindly)

Ask 2: JFC the bar is such trash. Open d*ke night? Really?! And the reaction to that Instagram comment. Good lord. So let’s tell everyone we are king and queen heterosexual for a decade then change the story when it’s convenient. Someone please save D. This is a shitshow.

Ask 3:M is NOT lgbt. She’s queerbaiting. She’s doing it so D won’t get attacked for all the pr stunts saying how straight he is. It’s really shitty damage control. If she is lgbt? I’ll be incredibly shocked but I 100% believe she’s faking it since she’s a habitual liar. And if she was lgbt she would let us all know by now

Ask 4: if she is queer, then that makes matters worse imo especially since she should know better than to use d*ke so casually. hasn't she been transphobic in the past as well? she's been called out on stuff in the past so idk why she'd pull the "i'm queer" card now if it's true and she could have said so back then. of course she could have changed how she identifies but it makes her look inconsiderate still.

*********************************************************************

Hi anons, I decided to combine all of your asks because I think you all have valid points. I am utterly and completely disgusted, they continue to reach new lows each day.

If an establishment is called out for using an offensive name, own it, don’t dance around it.  Worse, DO NOT suddenly change the narrative, thereby rubbing salt in D’s deep wound, that while D has publicly said he is straight, M has not.  I have not one clue how M identifies, I frankly don’t give a fuck, she could screw every consenting, adult person alive and would not care if she would just leave D be.  But you don’t get to suddenly change the narrative because it is convenient and to try to overcome well deserved criticism.  Is this supposed to explain why it was ok for her to prance around in her rainbow attire on pride day while she actively conspires to make sure D cannot reveal the truth about his sexuality? 

I personally have been deeply offended by every attempt of that bar to use the LGBT+ community. It is beyond hypocritical.  D is queer, he is deeply closeted, now “married” to his beard, and his oppression currently comes directly from the hand of  woman playing the role of his wife. How dare she use the LGBT+ community to make money for her failing bar while she is actively forcing the other “owner” to hide his sexuality?  It is revolting and they have done it repeatedly.

D*ke is a word that many find highly offensive.  Don’t use it. And i understand the host for the evening is a lesbian and i do believe she has good intentions, but it is highly controversial choice, being hosted at a bar owned by the straightest man alive and his useless “wife” and it just should not be done. And now that you have been called out, own it, and change the name.

Please save D from this nightmare.  She brings him down and tarnishes his character everyday. That bar is such a liability.  It started with its immature, sexual innuendo,  exacerbated by drinks with wholly offensive and derogatory names targeted at degrading women, made exponentially worse by having naked women gyrate on the bar surface, and now they are queer baiting, try to use a community they have no right to market to, and doing so in a manner that is offensive.

Please, please, please someone with a brain and power save this man and get him out of this incredibly harmful situation.  This is well beyond closeting, D’s character and reputation are at risk.,

[beelzebubskeeper]

On Transgender Discourse

To begin, can we please stop regurgitating the strawman transphobic things that Kalvin Garrah and others like him say. Please. He's grossly uneducated on real world trans issues and publicly shames and misgenders other trans people when they don't act/present like him. I advise y'all, especially young and impressionable trans and queer people, to get some other sources. Do some reading, look into gender studies, listen to Gender Non Conforming (GNC)  and Nonbinary (NB) trans people and their experiences. I suggest reading or listening to work and poetry by Alok Vaid-Menon, a femme GNC performance artist who talks about their experiences as a trans femme person. I know how easy it is to listen to a charismatic and relatable trans person and have him validate some of your internalized or subconscious transphobia. Some of y'all won't listen to gnc and nb trans folks, so maybe hearing it from a binary trans person (who has been diagnosed with gender dysphoria by 2 psychologists) will somehow make it stick? I feel like I need to make this more comprehensive post about this because I haven’t really seen one and at this point the burden of educating is less than that of seeing blatant transphobia so often.

If you want to talk about resources I can tell you that the "trenders" are not why trans medicine is so difficult to access. Trans people are disproportionately discriminated against in the medical field. I go to the leaders in trans and lgbt health and it still takes me months to get in. But guess what, it's not because some secretly cis people are "stealing the resources" it's because the lgbt community is so heavily discriminated against within medicine that its the entire communities outlet and they are a set of less than 10 clinics serving the entirety of Chicago's lgbt community. I suggest looking at their site as well, as they talk about these disparities far better than I can, as well as having some more comprehensive information about trans health and identification. If “trends” are really hindering your access to medicine that much, wouldn’t it make more sense to make trans medicine more readily accessible? People who most of you would consider “actually trans” actively do have to lie to get hormones and surgeries because of the discrimination we as a community face. 

If we're talking bare bones definitions, The World Health Organization defines transgender people as experiencing gender incongruence which is "characterized by a marked and persistent incongruence between an individual’s experienced gender and the assigned sex," according to the International Classification of Diseases (ICD). I have personal opinions on dysphoria but hey I'm not about to tell people how they're allowed to identify, especially not by trying to clock them. Dysphoria is experienced as physically, mentally, and socially. Every single trans person experiences this to some different levels. For example you may be extremely socially dysphoric while not feeling any kind of physical dysphoria. You may have dysphoria surrounding your genitals and not your chest or vice versa. Some people can't or don't want to medically transition. Along with this, the notion that GNC and NB people don’t exist because of some unsourced claims to biology and the binary should be met with heavy scrutiny. The idea that human sex is binary is outdated when we look at intersex people who make up an estimated 1.7% of the population, though the estimation may be low. Most people who have disparities between chromosomes and their sexual presentation don’t ever know seeing as we don’t try to identify one’s chromosomes unless their is some other issue that could be linked to the chromosomes.  

The myth about detransitioning is another straw man. Only about 1 percent of people detransition, and for those who do it’s for much more complicated reasons than they aren’t really trans. A lot of times these people have complications with insurance, hormones, and/or surgery. Sometimes people detransition because hormones weren’t the right move, or didn’t make them “pass” the way they want to. There is no cut and dry answer here.

This is a long one, I know but I also want to bring in caricatures because I think they’re really important. I would really rather not have to attach photos because it can be incredibly triggering for people and I want this to be as accessible a post as possible. All of the anti-tucute or anti-tender art and rhetoric I've seen directly mimics and refers back to classic TERF caricatures, except always inverted and targeting afab/dfab people. They’re given large breasts and dyed hair and “get mad if you misgender them” (as if being upset about being misgendered is a bad thing?) We need to unpack this, so lets begin. With these caricatures an outsider or cis person will read that all trans masculine people look or act like their caricature, or that it’s okay to discriminate against trans people who look a certain way. It’s also saying that you can “clock” or ID both “real” and “fake” trans people. It’s saying it’s not okay to be a trans man or trans masc person and have breasts or dyed hair or wear pride flags. Caricatures and rhetoric like this serves only to push away questioning trans people and actively dehumanize and degrade our trans family.

It’s not our job to vet and question other trans people, it’s not our job to try and find the secret cishets who’ve “snuck in” and kick them out. Our job is to support each other, to continue to try and educate ourselves, to try to understand the experiences of other LGBT people that are unlike our own, to give space to those questioning their identity. Giving people room to explore rather than shutting down young LGBT (or questioning) people isn’t going to help you face less discrimination. On the contrary you are merely adding to the transphobic rhetoric that already exists and validating -for example- TERF rhetoric and imagery. I’ve seen a spike in lgbt and specifically trans “flop” accounts dedicated to dehumanizing and humiliating trans people, which weaponizes transphobes.  The running trend of “this is why cishet people don’t like us” is repulsive. Transphobia has and will continue to persist regardless of GNC and NB folks, and blaming them is, in my opinion, ridiculous. Stepping on other trans people in order to get cis acceptance is dangerous, and to be honest not particularly effective. Playing at “pick me” politics don’t really help anyone, but only serve to divide us, to encourage greater discrimination. Read here about internalized misogyny, as it articulates the same argument but within a different group of people. We operate within the margins as a community, i.e the term marginalized. 

I would love to have other trans people way in, especially GNC and NB trans folks as I would like to avoid talking over y’all. I’m only one man, and I can only do so much. If I’ve made a mistake I’ll gladly listen to critique or correction! It’s necessary that we grow and learn from each other. I spent a long while composing this, as well as looking for sources, which are linked to various points in my post, that reflect my points. I’ll gladly add all of the sources separately at request if it will facilitate easier access. While anecdotal information is important, especially within understudied and marginalized groups, having empirical evidence is so important.

(Posted Tuesday March 26, 2019)

[metamusings]

September 13, 2018 | 19:57

(For the sake of context, this was semi-inspired by these screenshots of a text post. I understand the message behind the text post, and am not trying to take away from it. This has simply been harbouring for a while.

For further context, I am not an “angry cishet” who’s bitching about the slander. I identify as queer and enby. Again, this has simply been boiling up on the backburner to a point where I needed an outlet.

Also (one last disclaimer, if you will), this is based from stuff I’ve experienced/seen myself. My selection of words (‘I’ statements) was probably not the best choice, but this is more of a cleaned up ramble than it is opinionated text.)

A&E,

Can we please stop writing off all of those who are uneducated/ignorant to aspects within the lgbtqia+ community as “cishets”? We could easily say (as aforementioned) uneducated, or ignorant, or, if they’re downright toxic and spewing blatant hate, the corresponding -phobic.

By labelling them all “cishet”, we’re blaming, shaming and judging an entire selection of people for the smaller portion of them who are simply blatantly ignorant. (Or, since it is also an entirely plausible option, unknowledgeable/uneducated.)

We’re treating this as if people within the community can’t/don’t act in the same way. We’re treating this as if, when someone identifies as queer and/or trans*, they immediately could never plausibly say/do anything similarly.

Someone who is gay could easily say (for example) transphobic things. Someone who is trans* could easily say (for example) homophobic things. Or biphobic things. Or acephobic things.

Any one person could say shitty things about any other person/group they don’t directly identify and/or associate with.

We’re making this divide where we end up blaming, confronting and making an enemy out of the wrong people and protecting and/or turning a blind eye to the people we should be confronting. Even then, even when we point the attention to the “right” people, we’re still establishing an enemy. We’re still adopting that Us vs. Them mentality that leads us into these inescapable circles.

We become no better than what we hate.

For, even when we decide to engage, far too many of those engagements are birthed and channeled through this harsh place of judgement or shaming to their lack of knowledge; we’re back to re-establishing enemies and shutting things down before anything gets truly resolved. So, even when something does end up being resolved, we’ve already turned our backs to it; we’ve already dismissed them, so we don’t get to see whether or not our attempt at educating came to fruition.

We see people who, in their past, have done some pretty fucked up things, things that hurt either us personally or a group we identify and/or associate with. We see these things, and treat them as if they are current, or recent, and we write off these people, without looking into how they are in the actual present day.

For, character development be damned. You fuck up once, and you’re written off until the people judging either forget about it or die.

To revisit something: we become the thing we hate. We loathe these types of people, so let’s act exactly like them and establish a clear, polarised Us vs Them.

As a society, we crave progress, and growth, but it’s like nobody acknowledges that we need to change in order to reach that.

It’s the small things that matter. Treat it like an acorn: it isn’t much, it starts off painfully small. One day, though, with time, and patience, and when appropriately nurtured, that small, little acorn will grow into this big, powerful oak.

We want to see that tree grow, and flourish, but we’ve been so, so busy chopping off the leaves that its lack of nourishment is what will be its ultimate downfall.

And while it’s easier to establish these sides, to make a clear enemy to target, you’re still going to end up with so many good people caught up in the collateral. What happens then? Where do we end up?

Right back at square one.

-hb

[loudlytransparenttrash]

As we well know, fear is often an effective tool to motivate the masses in a desired direction. I’m clearly not against the LGBT, nor am I against women or black Americans, but I am against the sleazy, left-wing activism behind them.

The mainstream LGBT activists would have us all believe that LGBT people are in a near-constant state of danger in the United States and under assault from the police, Republicans, and the president himself. But a closer inspection tells us this simply isn’t true.

They have succeeded in giving the impression that transgender people, specifically “transwomen of color,” are being intentionally targeted for hate crimes across the country. The panic of each news story validates feelings of victimhood and fear and causes those scrolling by to believe there is an epidemic of murders against trans people. 

While it’s true, trans people have been killed, it is important to recognize that there is not a single thing law enforcement or certainly the federal government could do to prevent a guy who dresses as a girl from being murdered. Why? Because it has absolutely no pattern or consistent motivation. It’s no different from trying to create laws and policies to prevent redheads from being killed, because among those murdered each year, some have red hair. 

Despite the headlines and the rhetoric, there is no indication any specific threat towards transgender individuals of any race exists. Human rights campaign compiled a list of the known transgender murders this year and while major LGBT news sites reporting on the murders fixate on the police “misgendering” the person and quote loving things said by others about them, nobody seems to have any evidence of these murders being “transphobic” inspired attacks.

After researching the known 28 cases, it becomes clear that these individuals are the victims of robberies, domestic violence, sex work and random acts of violence rather than targeted anti-LGBT motivation. In fact, not a single case listed in 2017 can be directly linked to the victim’s gender identity. 

These victims have been killed under exactly the same circumstances as anybody else. Just because a trans person is killed, it is not evidence of anti-LGBT targeting, just as it would not be evidence of racism when a black person is killed. The most brutal trans murders were committed by partners or friends the victim knew personally. Several involved the victim physically attacking or threatening the police with a weapon before being killed. 

These are simply transgender people who were murdered, not people murdered for being transgender. Spreading a tale of the opposite is only encouraging fear, creating division while failing to recognize the true threats are more mundane, such as sex work, drug use and domestic violence.

According to the Pew Research Center in 2017, LGBT people make up roughly 4 percent of the American population. There were 1,386 alleged victims of anti-LGBT hate in 2016. This means that in 2016, 0.001 percent of the American LGBT population experienced hate crimes. 

What about the “underreporting” and accusations of police not correctly labeling hate crimes? Well okay, let’s multiply the number by 100 and pretend 125,000 anti-LGBT hate crimes were committed this year. That would still represent only 0.1 percent of LGBT people. The numbers simply do not reflect the narrative being used by trans activists in their push for insane legislation.

Fear generates more political action, and this is where the left thrives. Their love for identity politics feeds on this kind of tribal belief in an all-powerful demonic force just on the horizon from which they must protect you. We learn from Democrats that thousands or perhaps even millions of lives are at stake if we don’t toe their party line. 

Arguing for the "protection” of teenagers is a common tactic of the LGBT left, pretending it’s still 1920 and LGBT youth are marginalized victims is another. LGBT teens are widely celebrated in media and are openly expressing themselves at school, online and at work. All social media is openly left-wing and every major company and institution caters to diversity and social justice and provides special protections for LGBT youth. LGBT issues dominate the news cycle and political discourse, and touch every corner of media from sports to movies to award shows. Just as with black Americans and feminists, keeping the flames of victimhood flickering is vital to their funding and political presence. 

Of course, no discussion of liberal dishonesty would be complete without looking at how they represent Donald Trump. Trump is a unique figure because he has been a well-known media icon for decades and has long publicly supported LGBT rights. He is the most pro-LGBT president ever to be elected and the first to openly support same-sex marriage upon election. Yet the media narrative would have you believe he has waged a bloody war against LGBT kids. 

A close examination of the accusations against Trump reveals a political agenda to label any opposition to currently popular left-wing initiatives as “anti-LGBT.” This is evidenced by claiming everything from the newest tax bill to the Obamacare renovations to net neutrality are designed by Trump and his cabinet of Nazis to intentionally harm and kill gay and trans people.

Even their best argument, the military ban, is more practical than malicious. Transgender individuals have extremely high suicidal tendencies and most have accompanying psychiatric conditions. Considering the military has a long list of medical conditions that bar entry into service, such as drug dependency and a history of psychiatric disorders, which automatically medically rules out trans people, it’s clear the plan is to use issues we are all equally subjected to, apply it only to LGBT people and sell the lie to the public in order to milk their support and gain political leverage. 

“But they just want human rights!” we are told as more restrictive bills are passed and more laws are enforced under our nose. Now today, we can be arrested, fined and fired for not understanding how humans can magically change sex and people are being disfigured in “gender reassignment” surgeries, taught radical theory and pumped with hormone manipulating drugs, and everyone is forced to give the thumbs up. What kind of human rights is this?

The left’s mythology is difficult to counter, as belief intertwines with emotion and identity. But the truth matters, and it should always be stated without hesitation. A comforting lie helps no one. Sadly, much of the current LGBT media appears to be more dedicated to constructing a useful narrative than simply celebrating everyday equality and natural diversity. There’s few, if any, better places to live in the world if you are gay or transgender. The victim narrative simply cannot survive examination, and we must continue to expose it.