#orphan bird

[briefbestiary]

Birds that practice an odd form of filtering their offspring. While it is unclear what exactly constitutes a "good" or a "bad" egg, the orphan bird sorts between the two through whether or not they float in their seawater home.

[oraclereadsandreviews]

“barbara gordon getting paralyzed for the sake of bruce wayne’s development was misogynist, but oracle is a better mantle for her and she should still be a wheelchair user.” i say into the mic.

the crowd boos. i begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks.

“she’s right,” they say. everyone turns to the 5th row, but no one is there. then on the screen behind me: barbara gordon herself.

[ahfrickenfrick]

how many times have any of the batmembers had to come up to leslie and been like ‘hey got into a fight with a bat from the cave’

and she sighs and ask which family member only to realize they lost against a literal bat and need 12 different shots

[incorrectbatfam]

How about Batgirls/Birds of Prey babysitting gen alpha Jon and Dami? Did the kid have fun?

Dick: What's wrong? You look like you saw a Jason.

Cass: The horrors.

Dick: What do you mean?

Steph: We've seen things we can never unsee. Heard things we can never unhear. We will never be the same again, do you understand me?

Dick: I'm confused. Weren't you just watching Damian and Jon for the afternoon?

Harper: I could only stand two minutes. And I've been stuck in a room with Punchline overnight, twice.

Dick: Okay, back up. What actually happened?

[earlier]

Barbara: Hey boys, how was school?

Damian: Kent, spill the lore.

Jon: So this sus guy in math class acts like he's a sigma rizzler mewing for BeReal clout ever since his W Roblox speedrun. No cap, he thought he's Kai Cenat on Twitch and we're from Ohio, when he's really a Big L skibidi toilet with negative aura. So at lunch, we had a GOATed idea and Fanum taxed his gyatt while he stood there cooked like an NPC.

Cass: Uh...

Harper: *gets in her car and goes home*

Steph: I'm gonna re-dig my grave.

[thatcutenerdygirl]

they're just like 'hell yea'

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 333

I once more believe Battinson Batman needs to be given a child. Or multiple. Multiple children. I am also once more rotating Ghosts Have Wings Au. 

So Batman, still early in his whole vigilante career ends up busting a shipment, nothing too surprising there. Pretty usual honestly. Except for what was in one of the crates already open. Because it looks like some sort of gemstones but… perfectly spherical. Strange. Suspicious. 

But it’s also late, er, early in the morning, and the GCPD is notoriously corrupt, so like, he’s not going to just leave the weird gemstones, each about the size of a plum or so. (Dear Gotham he’s apparently hungry, and might inwardly vow to never let anyone realize what his tired mind decided to use as measurement) 

So he, unknowingly spurred on by more than just a slight bit of ecto contamination, takes the strange spheres back home. Just puts them in his pockets and heads back to the manor that they moved back into after the whole Riddler mess. (He even found a cool cave! With a bunch of terrifying bats, but they made a glass separator! For safety!) 

But in Bruce’s defense of forgetting about them, he’s more than a little tired and hungry and just wants to sleep for a bit, y’know? So maybe he forgets about the gems as he falls asleep in the chair in the cave (Alfred was not pleased!) until he starts digging around for them. Erm. Did they fall out somewhere?? There’s no holes in his belt pockets… 

And maybe these sort of things shouldn’t slip his mind, the spheres had felt Weird with a capital W, but he gets forced to a circus and there’s an… accident. So maybe he pushed it away as not important because there’s now an angry grieving eight-year old living with him and he’s panickedly reading any and all sort of parenting books he can get a hold of because he has no clue what he’s doing. 

Yeah, maybe his back is itching like crazy no matter what he tries, and maybe he threw up the other day, but it’s fine. This is fine. 

….

Oh dear Gotham those are feathers, this is not fine- ALFREEED!

[alicepooryorick]

Another ridiculously funny thing in the OracleFam is like... Genuinely the existence of the kids who all kinda dysfunctionally form a pseudo family and listen to Barbara as she sorta raises them but not. Like, imagine you're Jim Gordon. Your beautiful daughter that's biologically your niece but by god she's YOUR daughter and you love her so decides that she's gonna use her intelligence and skills and experience as a borderline A-Lister to lead superhero teams and play support for anyone who needs it, primarily your vigilante friend Batman.

Then one day, you visit your incredible daughter who always thinks things out and is careful... And bam. There's just this unexplained little girl who doesn't talk. Apparently your daughter is looking after a traumatized assassin child now. Do you now have a daughter in law? It's complicated because your daughter and your vigilante bestie somehow managed to start acting like they divorced and have split custody over this kid, despite them never even liking eachother. Great.

Then you visit again. The girl your daughter is looking after has a best friend sleeping over. You're sure you won't see her around to to much right?

Then you visit again, the blond girl your kinda grand daughter is best friends with is there again. Your daughter corrects you, *there still. You aren't sure where the kid sleeps because there's only two bedrooms; but apparently she just stays over often.

You visit five more times, see this "Stephanie" with "Cass" everytime. You ask if they're dating. They aren't. You ask if Steph is another Cass situation. She's not.

Then Stephanie dies.

Then Stephanie comes back to life.

Then Cass dies.

Then Cass comes back to life.

They go straight back to being inseparable. Your daughter tells you they hallucinate each other when separated for too long.

Then you visit again and HOLY FUCK IS THAT A DE-AGED VERSION OF YOUR DAUGHTER WALKING- nope she's just looking after another kid Barbara's looking after. Apparently this one was actually an orphan this time. ... ... ... "This time?"

Oh and the whole time this takes place while your daughter is suspiciously single but surrounded by a whole team of beautiful women, a few of whom she's incredibly close with. Also Barbara splits custody with this newest one, "Charlie" with some of these ladies, tho she does most of the... Whatever she's doing. But she doesn't seem to have the divorced-without-dating dynamic she has with Batman so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠⊙⁠_⁠ʖ⁠⊙⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Oh and your daughter's ex seemingly just hates the first daughter. Fascinating.

You still, after YEARS of Cassandra and Stephanie never being far apart, don't know if they're dating or not. Surely they are, right? But no announcement or revelation comes forth, and your daughter still says they aren't.

[shroudedmoon]

Dc birdposting again whoops

Most of the wings are referenced from the ebird website (Great place for bird refs)!! I added the ppl tho bc im ill

[lorena-art]

ufff I worked on this drawing very hard, but Cass deserves my best effort, I love her, she is such a good girl. And she kicks ass like a queen.

[everwalldigan]

Ok so the popular consensus is that the bat brood will absolutely terrorise any guests any of them have over but what if we take that concept and tweak it a little bit.

Instead of them doing weird shit openly, how about they act totally normal HOWEVER they do weird little unsettling things that suddenly disappear if you do a double take. The guest leaves really unsettled but with no tangible reason they can name to explain it. Allow me to provide some examples:

Dick: has spent an obscene amount of hours practicing “delayed speech glitch” where his mouth moves, sounding out words before he vocalises them.

Duke: manipulates the lights to shine like a stage light on whoever is speaking at that moment, sometimes douses any family member who has pissed him off in darkness until the guest notices and immediately retracts it when they look back. (This backfires sometimes cause they enjoy pretending to brood in the shadows. Its genetic)

Damian: makes his animals appear in random corners and then disappear just as quickly. (His best feat was when he successfully pulled it off with the batcow and Wally left so fucking confused)

Cass: utilises her body language reading skills to give the guest what they want before they have the chance to ask for it. They spend the entire evening carefully monitoring their thoughts cause they’re 100% convinced she’s a mind reader

[vivictory-draws]

Barda and Cass sketch I decided to color. I really like their interactions in the current BoP run.

✨please do not repost or use in any AI programs✨

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

I've been doing nothing but playing Marvel rivals for weeks now, so I thought I'd do the Batboy's (and co) mains!

Dick is Black Panther. The worst (in a good way) Panther main you'll ever meet. He takes out the enemy supports so fast that you'd think he was cheating. He gets yelled at by the enemy team every game he plays. He does get target banned in higher ranks, but that doesn’t stop him, he's just as good on Spiderman

Cassandra plays vanguards and only vanguards. She'll play whichever one they need in that game, but has the most time on Hulk and Doctor Strange. When asked why she doesn't switch, she said that she doesn't take up a lot of space irl, so she likes being the one to protect people in the game :)

Jason is either Punisher or Bucky. He will not switch, and to be fair, he's so good with them that he doesn't need to. That doesn't stop the rest of the fam from dragging his ass with how much they make fun of him. Real creative, playing a superhero game and picking the ones that have guns.

Tim will switch depending on what they need. He has Lord on so many characters that they start questioning if he's blowing off hero work to play. He likes playing Magik the most, but if the other team is triple healer, then he'll switch to Psylocke and absolutely demolish them. He's the dude that switched characters 12 times but still had the most kills and lest deaths.

Damian tried to play Hela his first game, realized that none of the others were playing strategists, and hasn’t switched from them since. Mantis is his best, he's insane on her and is somehow always keeping the others healed still.

Steph is a Moonknight truther through and through. Yes she's sitting in a corner shooting her ankhs, it's part of his kit! That's how he's supposed to be used! She isn't useless on him and doesn't need her ankhs to do damage, but she'll still be using them thank you very much!

They have not, and will not, convince Babs to play with them. She was an Overwatch playing for a time, broke three computers and 7 keyboards. She knows how a game like that will end for her and she's not doing it again.

Harper is a Hela main. She ends most matches with 0 deaths and almost double the kills of the next best on her team. No one knows where she's at during the game but she's terrifying and they’ve seen people actually run from her before. they banned her and Dick playing together after the first time when all of the enemy team left on second point.

They try and get Bruce to play with them, but he tells them that he's not good at the game. This is a dirty lie and he holds the highest rank in the family. He just finds it embarrassing to play with them because he gets really into the game and has said shit on vc before that he'd never want his children to hear. The day he got put on the enemy team as some of his kids was the best day of his life (B won but it was a tight match)

[kilowog-appreciation]

Before season 7 I thought "what if Zubeia dies in the final battle and Zym has to step up as the dragon king" and then I was like "they wouldn't orphan Zym like that" and then my sister was like "all 3 main characters are basically orphans so they would definitely do that bruh"

And then they did.

[incorrectbatfam]

Can we have more of steph time in retail??

[at the grocery store]

Steph: Finding everything you need?

Duke: Actually, I was wondering if you have any more of that peanut brittle?

Steph: *checks her iPad*

Steph: We stopped carrying them here, but there's a location in Metropolis that should have them.

Duke: Sweet, can you get me one?

Steph: It's... in Metropolis.

Duke: *puppy dog eyes*

Steph: *sighs and grabs her keys*

———————

[at the clothing store]

Steph: Sorry, the dressing rooms have a ten-item limit.

Dick: Okay.

Dick: *starts taking his clothes off*

Steph: That's not how it works—PLEASE PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON.

———————

[at the restaurant]

Steph: How many?

Barbara: Table for one, please.

Barbara: *gets a text*

Barbara: Dinah's coming, make that two.

Barbara: *gets another text*

Barbara: Helena also, make that three.

Barbara: *gets another text*

Barbara: Actually, make it six.

Barbara: *gets another text*

Steph: I'll just prep the party room.

———————

[at the drive-thru]

Steph: Welcome to Batburgers, what can I get you?

*silence*

Steph: Hello?

*silence*

Steph: *looks out the window*

Cass, signing: Combo meal.

———————

[at the furniture store]

Jason: I need a new fridge.

Steph: Again?

Jason: Call it a work expense. While you're at it, could you also grab some rope, trash bags, and cleaning supplies?

———————

[at the coffee shop]

Steph: Next!

Tim: I'll have a venti triple-shot iced caramel macchiato with light ice, an extra pump of caramel, two shots of raspberry, vanilla soy milk, and extra whip with butterscotch chips.

Steph: Name?

Tim: Uh...

———————

[at the call center]

Steph: Wayne Enterprises account support, how can I help you?

Damian and Jon: *snickering*

Damian: Can I get a vegetable fried rice?

Steph: *hangs up*

———————

[at home]

Steph: *storms in*

Steph: We need to talk.

[dceasesd]

bat and birdies as my favorite tweets, pt. 5

i’m back with another one of these 🫡 plz enjoy

pt. 1 / pt. 2 / pt. 3 / pt. 4

also, a bonus bruce one!

[dollya-robinprotector]

Could you give us a tutorial on how you draw femRobin's hair? It's so beautiful. She's just cute as a button.

This may be a bit strange but I just think of her hair like a bunch of croissants.

Oh and did I mention her design's inspiration is Rose Quartz? No? I just did then.