#or a means for infantilization/outcastment

[firstkil]

re; ableism in the hunger games, infantilism of the traumatized/shunning of the traumatized.

okay so i woke up & my awesome mutual @ongreenergrasses made a post about this too (i JUST saw it and like oooh my god. i agree so hard and so much) and i'm just going to talk about what i've been thinking.

the hunger games is doused in some really nasty thinking when it comes to mental health, and then even more so when it comes to disabilities, addiction and PTSD. i'm going to break down this post in parts based on each character who represents this, and any misc. ones will simply be the issue at hand alone. i find that suzanne writes a certain stereotypical sort of rhetoric that goes unchecked by this fandom because the majority are not those who have experienced these things, but the ones who *have* should at least bring this to more attention if possible. katniss to me, is one of the most ableist characters (not of her own knowing) as the good and mighty protagonist, and seeing people headcanon her as autistic is very interesting when her takes on people with any sort of difference in mental states is.. it comes into question constantly.

𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄

annie is very truthfully, a character who is only based on being the ‘poor mad girl who wins finnick's heart’ and yes, a victor with more severe PTSD which has come to affect her daily life, or at least when it comes to the games. suzanne collins’ constant use of the term ‘mad girl’ comes from katniss as protagonist, which reads as so ableist. watering anyone to their inpairments or their level of health is dehumanizing, and it reads to me like she regards annie as a sort of special case, like a wounded animal almost. the only positive talk about annie as a character minus her wedding, minus her relationship with finnick is when peeta explains annie's experiences in the games, which comes with empathy and understanding that most,,, are overbearing with. i see so many people water her down to just, being finnick's, and only being whatever level of trauma has enabled her consistent struggles. this i won't put a label on because i don't know what collin's was trying to achieve.

i even believe that finnick as her lover commits a level of ableist thinking in their relationship. he withholds information of the rebellion from her (despite her being extremely smart and just as career as anyone else from four,) and despite that not changing anything because she's still tortured, still abused in some way, he has a level of extreme overprotectiveness that reads as infantilism of his partner, and it seems to me like everyone considers finnick as annie's carer, and doesn't consider annie as his partner. yes his *lover,* but not someone on equal ground as far as their mental health issues go. the way annie is seen on both coins of fandom and book are incredibly ignorant and very, very harmful to disabled people. just because someone has a debilitating issue does not mean you get to treat them like they're a child, does not mean you go onto label them from that single trait. like i said, the phrase ‘the mad girl back home’ is so, so degrading to annie, who is a survivor and has overcome her experiences with respective scars. respect her humanity, because it's sub human thinking to call someone mad based on PTSD. leave that in the 1910s/20s.

𝐌𝐑𝐒. 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐍 & 𝐇𝐀𝐘𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇

(note that the haymitch part will be longer than the rest because i have enough content to go off of & this is my specialty)

mrs. everdeen and haymitch as characters both experience deprecating grief, to the extent where their mental health is tarnished from that. mrs. e becomes withdrawn and stiff from family; only able to function for the sake of work. her love, her husband dies and it emotionally disables her and severs a proper relationship to her two daughters. her mental health being dependant on the man/the loss of him and the fact that she discards her family is not only somewhat realistic for *some* cases, but also equally spitting out ideas of tradition and how "women need a man," with hazelle contrasting this and having to work for her 4 children to the point of blood. katniss’ perception of her mother's issue do come from hurt, but also internalised prejudice against those with mental health as she can see the extent of agony her mother is in and still loathes her, never leaving the door open for empathy.

the treatment of haymitch in both book and fandom is equally prejudiced and incredibly uneducated on addiction, and again — grief. haymitch self-medicates because his trauma, the extent of it is so mutilating to the point where he has to be flushing out memories on a constant basis. the fandom calls him a stupid drink, looks down on his intelligence. the books make him look volatile, squalored. the way in which suzanne collins describes his kitchen (which is filthy with old food, hazards, bottles and mice droppings) is VERY true of several people with severe mental health. katniss makes fun of him while he's in a state of approaching withdrawal, saying that the smell brings tears to her eyes, and at the end of the conversation ‘to take a bath.’ people with depression (which is what mrs. e and haymitch both have in different cases) find it difficult to do everyday chores and simple tasks, and katniss also repeats the idea of haymitch being unhygienic when she says ‘he's disgusting, but I'm greatful’ alongside commenting that it must've been a long while since he had bathed. haymitch is the richest man in the district, but not even that can stop the blatant hatred that katniss parrots. haymitch is to me, ill, and it reflects in his attitude during the games and when he's in withdrawal. suzanne hones in his mental state the most, and what he is a functioning alcoholic, and while that differs from regular alcoholism, people are consistent to demean his character with misconceptions and text books beliefs of what an alcoholic looks like. there are *many* takes, many examples of these sorts of people in society, but the constant abusive, violent, hateful, squalid, hedonistic ideas are parroted in fics when it comes to haymitch when he isn't.. any of those things. the society around him cares to consider the extent of his suffering and he doesn't have a good enough support system, as all whom he has loved are dead. i finish this by saying what i always do; he's extremely intelligent, extremely empathetic and wholly feeling, extremely caring and protective, and is meant to *defy* stereotypes. his ending however diminishes his ability to get better, and practically undoes any hope of his betterment despite it all.

𝐌𝐑𝐒. 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐄

mrs. undersee is mentioned a few times through the trilogy, and when it isn't related to her late twin maysilee donner, or her daughter madge, it's her chronic illness. katniss basically only mentions her when referring to her constant headaches and her morphling addiction, which makes me wonder why suzanne collins doesn't go into depth about how she's taken care of, who she's getting support from as the wife of the district mayor, and how she functions as a mother. she is basically made useless to the narrative despite her important role as a mayoral first lady & family member to someone who experienced and was slaughtered in the arena. i see next to no content on her which upsets me as she does play such a big role in the scheme of things, and has connections to the everdeens, to haymitch and to the donner family. she's got next to nothing on her wikipedia, and it's unfortunate as she could've been a good example of chronic ilness in an already revered YA series (which now comes under scrutiny for the faults being uprooted.)

[rovingotter]

Heavy spoilers for Joker: Folie à Deux beneath the cut.

Joker 2019 is a movie that is often misunderstood, and one that means a lot to me.  It doesn’t quite manage to nudge out some of my childhood animated favorites like The Last Unicorn and Watership Down, but Joker is definitely in my top three favorite live action movies.  It got me back into writing fanfic after a long dry spell.

I didn’t think it needed a sequel.  Most people didn’t.  The first movie told the story it needed to tell.  I was wary going into this.  After hearing that it was a musical (and with Gaga as Harley?), I didn’t know what to expect but I thought that even if it was bad, even if it completely misfired, it would at least be an entertaining and funny trainwreck. 

Turns out, it’s not funny at all.  This movie gutted me.

I wish it didn’t exist.  The experience of watching it was…I’m still processing it, but I think I can say at this point that it was an unpleasant experience, but also a captivating one.  I hate it but I also weirdly have a higher opinion of it than most people seem to.  I feel like it was tonally true to the first movie.  I think Phoenix and Gaga both breathed life into their roles.  The musical numbers didn’t seem strictly necessary but they also didn’t detract from the experience for me. Music was an important element of the first movie as well.

I also think the central premise is an interesting one.  Arthur, incarcerated in Arkham, is facing the possibility that he’ll be sentenced to death for the murders he committed in the first movie.  His lawyer is aiming for an insanity defense and tries to convince the jury that the Joker is a separate personality—that Joker, not Arthur, killed those people.  In order to save his own life, Arthur needs to convince the jury that he’s not Joker…or he can take a different path. He can say "fuck it," fully embrace the Joker persona and live whatever time is left laughing and watching everything burn.  This is what Harley "Lee" Quinzel, who admires Joker and the chaos he represents, wants him to do.

In the end, he does neither.

After being forced to sit in silence for days and listen to a defense that both infantilizes and dehumanizes him, reducing him to a set of symptoms, stripping him bare and putting all his pain and humiliation on display, Arthur can’t take it anymore.  He fires his lawyer (who represents his best hope of survival) and elects to represent himself.  Initially he tries to represent himself as Joker, to lean into that persona, but he’s not feeling it anymore…especially after the confrontation with Gary Puddles, the guy who was probably his only true friend before he became Joker.  In the first movie, Arthur spared Gary’s life but left him deeply traumatized after he witnessed the death of Randall, the coworker who bullied Arthur.  This conversation with Gary was one of the most riveting parts of the movie for me.  There is a nakedness and rawness to it. Arthur tries to say "fuck it," but ultimately, he can't. Not in the face of Gary's pleading and pain.

After this, some horrible things happen to Arthur in Arkham.  The guards beat him and brutally assault him.  They kill his fellow inmate who tries to offer him support, because the system is still ruthless and still failing vulnerable people.  Arthur is left broken, helpless. Again. Some people have interpreted this scene as the reason he ultimately sheds his Joker persona, but I think it would have shaken out differently if not for that earlier conversation with Gary.  Because Gary is possibly the only person who truly cared about Arthur, when he was only Arthur—a fellow outcast, and the only guy who never made fun of him. 

Joker makes fun of Gary, because Joker makes fun of everything.  And Arthur realizes that he’s not—doesn’t want to be Joker. At his core, he's sick of pain and violence, both his own and other people's. He wants to try to break the cycle.

In the end, Arthur stands before everyone not as Joker but as Arthur Fleck—he stands alone and naked, shattered, traumatized, with no remaining allies, and he takes responsibility.  He says that he did those things.  He did them because he was having a mental breakdown, yes, because he was wounded and wronged by an unjust world, but he regrets it, now.  He hurt some bad people, but he also hurt some people who didn’t deserve it.  He’s tired of being the clown.  He just wants to live.  That was all he ever wanted, really.  Just a little bit of kindness and respect.

This is his truth:  Joker is a part of him, but a part that was born out of pain.  His deepest self is Arthur. In admitting that, he lays it all on the line, in that moment. And this is, in my opinion, the bravest thing he could have done.  I had my hand over my heart for this whole scene. 

And for this small, fragile act of courage, he is utterly forsaken by the world.  Lee—the one person who he has a connection with—is in love with Joker, not Arthur.  She walks out of the courtroom.  She abandons him in his moment of greatest need—not out of malice, but out of weakness. Because she wants to live in a fantasy world and she can't handle the reality of who he is:  not an embodiment of chaos and power, not a symbol, but a man, a vulnerable man who is full of regrets but who is trying, in his own confused way, to be better.

The first movie was bleak but it offered a glimpse of a twisted kind of hope at the end with Arthur finding inner peace even as he’s condemned to a life in psychiatric incarceration for his actions.  This movie takes that bit of hope and grinds it into the dust.  It’s a tragedy, through and through.

Arthur’s random, pointless death at the end feels almost redundant because it’s made clear by that point that his spirit has already been slain.  His connection with Lee was all he had, and when it’s revealed to be an illusion, that’s it.  He can no longer exist as the Joker but he can’t exist as Arthur, either.  He tried his best and was rejected for it.  It didn’t work.  He’s done. 

There are a lot of takes about how this movie should have gone, and honestly, most of them sound terrible to me.  I think this is the only way a sequel could have gone while remaining honest, which is why I didn’t want a sequel.

You can’t hear me, Arthur, but I love you, and I’m proud of you for standing before the world as yourself, and you didn’t deserve to die the way you did. 

This world is fucking cruel.

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Mate Chapter 17

Warnings: Read at your own will, trauma, bondage, abuse, assault, obsession, stockholm syndrome, brainwashing, paraphilic infantilism, loss of freedom, loss of will, religious abuse, ritual abuse, sacrilege, grey sexual assault (reader doesn't confirm), odaxelagnia, soul binding, uncomfortable themes, judgements, angst, ateez are evil (not in real life), humiliation, sexual humiliation, murder, violence, self harm, manipulation, implied non concent

Living with someone for 6 years you learn so much. You learn what makes them tick. You learn what angers them. You know there likes and dislikes. What you don't expect is for your world to come crashing down and everything you love to sicken you. Every idea of them to change. It felt wrong to say the people who cared and loved you were monsters. It was wrong to even think they were anything different and that was the hardest pill for Y/N to swallow. She knew for years the real truths but she loved that about them. She loved their flaws. She loved them, but there was nothing she could do now. Y/N had to learn to love again and learn a whole new meaning of love, but right now her heart couldn't take anymore. She was tired, hurt and heartbroken to the point Hyunjin had to drag her by the scruff of her neck back to their home. She didn't fight him, instead, she fell limp in his mouth like a dead wolf while Jeongin trotted behind them. Jeongin tried to keep his thoughts quiet, not wanting to impose his views or thoughts. "Hyunjin. Jeongin. Is Y/N alright? Please say she's alright. I tried to phone Chan but his phone is switched off." Minho ran out of the house when he saw the two wolves carrying a limp grey wolf to the door. The grey wolf looked lifeless, dead even.

Y/N could hear it in Minho's voice that he was distraught, but she didn't have the energy to lift her head up. She heard Minho walk towards her when Hyunjin let out a threatening growl, causing the beta to gasp. "Hyunjin I'm not going to hurt her. I want to see her." Minho almost pleaded but Hyunjin snarled at him. The elder beta was trying his best to reach the omega but the alphas were too standoffish. Jeongin too was not prepared to let another beta near her as he covered the omega. "Jeongin." Minho whimpered as he looked at the young alpha who he grew up with. It shocked the wolf, he never expected such aggression from the young alpha. Minho didn't know what to do, he felt lost as an elder. None of the wolves were listening to him. Seungmin and Changbin had practically outcasted Felix for causing their omega to leave. They thought that Y/N wanted to return to Hongjoong, but what they didn't realise was that she wanted to stop Hongjoong. They didn't understand. None of the beta's did and it was upsetting them. They couldn't settle knowing something was wrong with their omega. They needed their alphas to communicate, they needed to know to fix this. In the end, Minho gave up and retreated back inside to see a broken Felix curled up on the sofa, tears streaming down his face as he shook. "Felix why don't you go upstairs and rest." Minho offered. "I can't. Changbin broke my nest. He said it was all my fault. He said I'm a terrible beta. He said I should have been born an omega." Felix's shuddered as he heard a bang coming from his room.

Minho decided he couldn't take it anymore and stormed up to Felix's room to stop the Beta's when an angry Chan called them all downstairs. The four betas stood in front of Chan quietly as they faced him. "Now, I don't know what has happened, but right now my omega is my priority. What I need from you is to sort yourselves out. Until I know how she is, none of you are walking away from this. You are my pack. My wolves. My family, so do not fight. She is our family so stop this nonsense." Chan's voice was low as he spoke to them. "I-I'm sorry." Felix sniffed out. Chan gave a nod of recognition before heading outside to phase into his wolf form. Chan's silver wolf headed straight to his omega, sniffing all over her, checking for wounds. "Y/N? Baby, are you alright?" Chan nudged her with his snout, whining. Y/N flashed a load of images in her mind of what happened but Chan didn't understand so Hyunjin explained how she wanted to protect them. How she felt she could reason with Hongjoong and why her feelings were acceptable. As much as Chan didn't like seeing it, he needed to understand everything. He needed to truly understand who Hongjoong was and what he was capable of in order to protect his pack. To protect Y/N and Hyunjin. "They. They hurt her Chan. They hurt our omega. They did things." Jeongin tried to explain but ended up sharing a load of images causing Y/N to whine in pain. "I still don't understand. Someone explain to me what is going on." Chan growled as he licked her face affectionately. "Chan we need to get her to phase. Y/N never phases. She never phased with Hongjoong. She's going to be exhausted." Hyunjin explained with a huff causing the head alpha to snap his head up at the black wolf "How do you know she never phased, huh? You can read minds not her whole life story." Chan's voice was hoarse as he noticed the way Hyunjin crouched over her. He noticed it in the car as he was pulling up, the way Hyunjin was checking over her, nuzzling affectionately. Hyunjin looked as if he was familiar with her and Chan knew there was something Hyunjin wasn't telling him. Hyunjins silence told him all that he needed to know. "I stole you from Hongjoong. My omega. My soulmate lived with Hongjoong. Don't you think that's odd? You're still full of secrets Hyunjin. I thought we were past that." Chan asked darkly as he pulled the limp omega towards him with his paw, dominating his authority, and showing him the power he has. "She is yours. She is Jeongins but she is also mine." Hyunjin answered. Both wolves not realising a confused Jeongin was watching the scene unfold. He had no idea what was about to happen. "I could take her away from you. I could remove you." Chan asked causing the young alpha to gasp. He didn't expect Chan to banish Hyunjin, surely there was an explanation. "You could remove me and strip me of my titles, but then you'll never know how me and her are bound," Hyunjin stated, his wolf standing taller, preparing to challenge if he had to. "I never lied to you. I just hid my knowledge of he-" "I can still hear you, you know," Y/N grumbled causing the wolves to freeze.

Jeongin whined and crawled under his head alpha to reach the omega to nuzzle. The young alpha was feeling heavily confused and wanted her to rest. Chan huffed as he felt the small alpha crawl under him like a child. Chan smacked the back of his head at his childlike behaviour causing the younger alpha to huff. Jeongin nuzzled Y/N affectionately to remind her he still was there. "Let's phase back. I'll tell you what I know about Hongjoong." Y/N answered groggily. "We can do it tomorrow when Jisung is better." Jeongin offered. "Better? What did you do?" Y/N asked. Fear clouded her mind. "Jisung went into a rut. After feeling you around him." Chan answered, glaring at the thought of Jisung accidentally 'falling into her', until a thought popped into his head, Hyunjin would have claimed already. "Don't be so disappointed. I always looked after my pretty omega." Hyunjin taunted causing Chan to growl in a threatening manner but Y/N put a stop to it when she managed to phase back on her own, frightening Jeongin with her nakedness along the way.

Once the two hot-headed alphas put aside their feud temporarily, Y/N was ready to tell her story. It wasn't a nice story but they were all prepared for it and knew they had to listen to understand her, and quite possibly what they might be up against. "Alright. What was the last thing I said?" Y/N asked nervously. She knew it was best to start at the beginning but Y/N couldn't quite remember what point she had left on. "You told us your childhood, up until the point you were handed over to Ateez," Jeongin explained as he shuffled on the cushion, trying his best to get comfortable as he knew what was coming. "Ah. Alright. The head alpha of my pack, Jackson, my father. He handed me over to Hongjoon. Now Hongjoong's pack was a well-known respected alpha in our area and our alpha often worked closely with them along with other packs, but Jackson chose Hongjoong. Why? Because he knew Hongjoong worked with dark aura and knew a possible witch who meddled with dark magic. Of course, you knew the rumours as much as we did. Hongjoong had lots of rumours about him. What I didn't know at the time but learned later was that Hongjoong helped Jackson create an Apex. It may have been the reason both the mother and the apex died, but that's a different story or conspiracy.

Hongjoong, let's say, was very different at the beginning. When I met Hongjoong I was worried, but I was worried about being around any alpha. He knew that. He obviously knew the rumours but he wanted to prove them wrong at the beginning. Hongjoong and Seonghwa were the first two I met at the beginning. They were sweet. Very kind, actually. Hongjoong wanted to court me at the beginning. He took me on dates, and bought my flowers the usual things a head alpha would do when there courting. Seonghwa sometimes came with him, but he was a little bit more reserved. Sometimes he would ask invasive questions about my pack, my politics, my virtue, but I never questioned it. Fast forward two years I moved in with them, now bare in mind I had no idea what Hongjoong's expectations were.

Now, the first half was fine. Hongjoong was very sweet. He waited a long time before ever claiming me, 6 months actually. Hongjoong always had me involved with everything. If he went to work in the office I came with him. If he was at his computer I sat with him. When there were times he was busy I spent time with the other wolves like Seonghwa, San, Wooyoung. I never really did the things I was trained for as an omega, it was rather the opposite, but I never questioned it. They liked to mollycoddle me, I thought it was cute at the beginning.

Seonghwa. Seonghwa would do things for me, just general things like cooking for me, getting things for me, and babying me, to the point it got restrictive. I didn't notice of course. The way he would pet my hair, tell me I never needed to worry. They all did that to an extent. Sometimes if I got things wrong they would humiliate me in front of the others. Sometimes they laughed at me. Do you know how they humiliated me? They would strip me down naked for days, sometimes they didn't care if another wolf from another pack saw. They would even fuck me in front of each other and make remarks about me. It got worse to the point I stopped doing things completely. Hongjoong said I didn't need to do things just accept I was being loved, but that meant doing nothing. It meant being carried around by Seonghwa and Hongjoong all the time, to the point they bathed me, clothed me, and fed me. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't object. If I did Hongjoong would take me down into the basement where he punished the other wolves for disobedience. Some punishments were isolation. Sitting in the dark, listening to a beta being tortured. Sometimes he would cuff me with bolt cuffs. Sometimes he would cuff me with werewolf traps and ask me to rip my hands out. Sometimes he would try to drown me, poison me, inject me with wolfsbane. That was his way of saying I disappointed him." Y/N stopped and looked at the paled wolves. None of them had spoken. They were stunned into silence. Jisung and Jeongin looked close to being sick. Changbin and Felix were on the verge of tears. The others either held a frown on their face or were completely blank. "Still with me, yeah?" Y/N spoke nervously, waiting for a sign of approval to continue to speak.

"So. To the next part. The ritual. Hongjoong obviously wanted an apex there is no doubt about it. He had been trying to perfect the art of consummation. He practised on lone omegas. Took them in, had sex with them, and presented them to the dark ancestors. When it didn't work he killed them. He had to make sure it was one hundred per cent possible before putting me through it, even if it meant I died. During that night he half drugged me, but not enough to put me to sleep, but enough to keep me with it. Hongjoong was crafting with witches using necromancy to provide an apex. As I didn't have heats because of stress Hongjoong had to force one so my body would accept it. That night I found paperwork's, books of different rituals all over his desk. He was going to lay me in front of a coven of witches and fuck me with my throat slit with another alpha. A strong alpha. The problem was we lost our strongest alpha at the time because I set him free. So on the night before, I took a metal pole and whacked it around the back of his head and left. Alright, it took me longer to get out because Wooyoung heard the commotion but Yeosang managed to get me across the clearing line and told me to keep heading north. The end."

The wolves stared blankly at her, taking in every word she said. They all had questions, lots of them. Some they didn't want answered. None of them could believe what they had heard. They felt sick. "Question?" Seungmin asked as he looked between his omega and Hyunjin, "who was the wolf you set free?" "I don't remember. Seonghwa had brainwashed me into forgetting. The only thing I do remember is we were ambushed by two separate werewolf packs and one had an interest in that alpha. All I know is he was my favourite alpha and I set him free during the fight, but Seonghwa said I imagined it and that it was actually Wooyoung." Y/N answered causing Hyunjin to laugh. "It wasn't Wooyoung you set free. It was me."

Taglist for the iconic readers:

@galaxy4489 @mbioooo0000 @jisungs-iced-americano @maybeimmia @hwangrfrnd@wolfo2027 @kayleefriedchicken @leamueller920 @borahae-reads @jennibahng @cookiesandcreammy @leezanetheofficial @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @linocz @itzreetal987 @skzdreamer13 @reallychaoticwoo @liv1sworld @upsidedownchaire @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @skzdreamer13 @reallychaoticwoo @ihttinniee @kingdomofpentagon @pixie0627

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

I wrote a thing... erm. @toppo-da-foxxo you asked me to tell you more about this au but this is really just the same thing but written down nicely. Hope you enjoy anyway :J

cw: major character death (uh. he'll get better don't worry?? just not here), mind manipulation, forgetting, cosmic / eldritch horror

Contrary to popular belief, Listeners are not the ‘good’ version of Watchers. More moral, perhaps, preferring not to meddle in mortal activity. They have a strict code against interfering, unlike the Watchers, which is why the Watchers were outcast. But like any of the observers, they cannot understand players.

Just as we can never understand what it’s like to be an insect. To crawl on the ground so miniscule. To be picked up in a little glass cup and moved from inside of the house to outside, by an entity so much vaster than ourselves - all observers are blind to the individuality and personhood of players.

The Watchers wanted to do more than pick players up and put them outside. They wanted to feast. Greed is what drove them to play with people’s existences, basking in the delicacy of mortal pain. So unethical and horrific that even their own brethren couldn’t stand to see it.

And thus, they were banished, and all worlds were protected from them. Millions of years passed. The Watchers starved, and started to die. Fading away into the stars, into the void, into nothing, until only two remained.

Then, Evo appeared. A server, infantile and unprotected, its admin breaking the world in a way that made it undetectable to the greater observers. Prime pickings for the hungry Watchers, desperate to feed and to recruit new blood.

The rest is history.

It has been six long, difficult years since Grian escaped the Watchers. Their torture and changes still linger as he hides. Most days, he is alright now. Happy, energetic, pesky, creative. All of the things he used to be. 

Some days are like today, and he can’t get out of bed at all. But that’s okay too. His friends are there to help him. They don’t mind. No one minds. It took a long time for Grian to realise that.

Laying in bed, eyes closed but not asleep, he hears the front door open. Sometimes he’s glad he built a little space for himself in the tall, stilted base he propped up against the side of the mountain. It’s cozier than the usual bed sitting outside with a singular torch next to it.

He is expecting someone, probably Scar, to start making food in the little kitchen area beside his bedroom. He's expecting to hear the clatter of glass and silverware, maybe something frying in a pan. Just like every day like this, where he just can’t bring himself to move. The friendly sound of pots and pans, gentle humming, or a light one-sided conversation, usually pull him into a nice sense of comfort... but he doesn't hear that. He doesn't hear any footsteps, or any calls of his name, or- 

He is tempted to open his Eyes, just to look around. 

And it is when he has this thought, that a siren starts blaring. Across the server, a droning tone moves up and down the register, whining and wailing its warning song. It penetrates every single chunk, from the nearby shopping district all the way out to the world border. Every hermit hears it, and every hermit knows what it means, despite never hearing it before. 

There is an intruder on the server. A powerful and dangerous one. Something has broken in, and it has an intent to harm. 

Xisuma has certain code triggers in place, set to protect the server if something like this happens. The server scans itself, locating all foreign entities. It saves its logs, and begins to record, leaving something to view after whatever is happening is over. Morbidly, it is more for outsiders than for Xisuma himself. It's there just in case ... in case they don't get out alive. A system of locks trigger, trapping all players inside the server - which can be overridden with a password, but it is more to keep whatever is invading inside, to stop it from getting out into other worlds. 

But Xisuma knows that these are desperate, inadequate measures. Set in place to make the hermits believe they are safe. Tango asked him, once, if something that powerful was able to break in, wouldn't it be impervious to any measures taken to trap or locate it? And Xisuma had lied, then, telling him the emergency systems would be more than enough to stop any threat. 

He had lied, because he couldn't simply admit that they would be helpless. He couldn't just let his hermits down. Allowing them to believe in him, in the idea of safety, had to be enough.

And it wasn't. It isn't enough. Something is here. The sirens are screaming, and Xisuma, from the control room in his base, feels dread pooling in his stomach. 

Grian, meanwhile, cannot move. He cannot open his Eyes, or his eyes. He's stuck. Frozen. In time, or in space. And yet, he isn't alone behind his eyes. There is something in his vision, something vast and all-knowing. Expanding outward to infinity. 

Lots of things, but he's unsure where each one ends and begins. They have many eyes, but most are closed, unlike the watchers. It makes sense, because all of these gods, these factions, they're all the same type of creature. They all look roughly the same. 

When the Watchers worried about losing their species, and made him a lesser one of them, it was more about the loss of their bloodline - their ideology - than anything else. 

Still, it's strange to be face-to-face with gods again. Gods he hasn't met before. He'd grown used to One and Two. Their violating gaze, wandering code that slinked across his body, infinite forms that spoke in every language and none at the same time. He'd grown used to the discomfort and terror. And when he was Changed, and could comprehend them, he grew used to their neverending yet finite presence. 

The gods before him now do not talk. They don't say a word, unlike One and Two, who said many. Mostly derogatory or uncaring things. Taking joy out of his pain. No, these ones say nothing. They simply observe him. 

On the surface, the skin, the shell that he is made of, down to the muscle, bone, organs, flesh, blood, then onto the cells, the atoms, and finally the code. Every piece of code. He feels it all. But he is used to being looked at. 

They say nothing, and yet he knows what they want. They want to kill him. He tries to plead, mentally. Emotionally. But they do not care to listen. He is beneath them. A criminal. A watcher. 

One of the groups, one of the factions of observers, seems more interested than the others. It is nothing like mercy when they decide to keep him instead. To feast upon his suffering for a while before they get bored and inevitably end his life.

It's the Listeners that take him in, the other deities practically throwing him at them in a very disorienting process. He's ripped from his home in an instant, so fast he doesn't have time to even notice what's happening. It’s a blur of light and colour and shape and time.

And then he's in the void again. A structure in the void. A god's home.

- - -

Xisuma goes on this rescue mission alone. After weeks of painstakingly trying to locate Grian, using all of his energy and admin experience and voidwalker magic, he announces that he will be going alone - no exceptions. It's too dangerous, he tells the other hermits. Far too risky. 

And what about him? What happens if he gets hurt? Xisuma tells them not to worry, but he is overflowing with worry himself. He knows what he's facing, and he knows how difficult this will be. He knows there's a chance he won't come home. 

But one of his charges, one of his hermits, is lost and alone. He knows Grian must be alive because he still remembers Grian exists, but judging by what happened - or what Xisuma assumes happened - the last time Grian was kept hostage by deities... this might be a fate worse than death. 

Scar makes him promise, under the lock and key of a vexian deal, to return safely with Grian. He's clearly angry that he can't go on the rescue mission too, blue light sparkling in his eyes. But he shakes Xisuma's hand, drawing blood with pointed claws, regardless, the singing laughter of the vex swirling around in Xisuma's mind for minutes after the fact. 

And so he goes. Journeys. He's not sure how long it takes for him to reach the outer void. Time is so different, so fragile and bendable, here. He walks, as his species suggests, through the empty abyss with ease, but he's still simply a player, and can only comprehend so much. 

Eventually, after what might have been months and might have been nanoseconds, he finds it. A strange, mind-bending prism, shifting and warping with the void atmosphere. A gods' domain. 

It is... surprisingly easy to find Grian. Upon entering the structure, he slinks through the shadows of tight corridors and winding rooms until he comes across a tiny, barred cell. 

The walls are opalescent, shimmering, while the ground seems to sway like an ocean. In the centre is a nest, constructed with wool and feathers and fabric which all appear to melt into one another. There are objects within, but nothing Xisuma could put a name to. Nothing truly familiar, though everything pushes the boundary of the real. The only thing inside he can really identify, truly, is Grian himself, curled up in the nest, wings barely folded and brushing the walls. 

He tries to say Grian's name, but the sound falls away with the emptiness of the void. It is odd, not hearing his own voice. He was so used to communicating through sign and gesture as a child, but that was a millennia ago, and he hasn't been back to the void in any significant way since. 

Still, Grian seems to hear him. He turns, jerky and sudden, to stare at Xisuma with wild, feral eyes. Animalistic eyes. 

Seeing that gaunt face, Xisuma can tell he's been here for longer than a few weeks. His hair is long and dirty, clumped together in dark patches. His body is thin, bones jutting out under bruised skin, the few clothes left in tattered rags, and the expression on his face, teeth bared... 

It’s too long of a pause. The issue, really, is that he is so close to rescuing Grian, when it all goes wrong.

In the space of a blink, he's not by the cell anymore. He's in some other room, disorientating and impossible. Before him are a series of patterns burnt into the code of the universe, and they are looking at him.

He panics. Tries to split the code between his claws. Tries to send these beings ahead of him into the dark pits of nothingness. He tries to eviscerate them, with all his power, and - of course - they don't even react.

Without words, they tell him to calm down. He does not calm down.

They are everything. They are everywhere. They encompass the entire universe and nothing and all the void and they are finite but they go on forever. A moment to them could stretch over millions of years. Even Xisuma, ancient as he is, is a dot in the timeline of their lives. 

It is absolutely terrifying. He feels so woefully unprepared. So tiny and insignificant. Like nothing could have ever mattered before this. Every part of his being is taken apart, judged, and found wanting. 

Then something incredibly strange happens. 

In one second, Xisuma knows why he is there, why he's facing down deities in a cold, soulless void. He knows he’s on a mission to rescue Grian, his friend and hermit, from the grasp of these unimaginable monsters. And the next second, he does not. 

It is worse, maybe, to be an admin, and feel the empty space where code once lived - where a player once lived - and to know there is something no longer there. Something he has forgotten so immediately, like the blast from an atom bomb, there is only a burning shadow left in its place.

He screams, and the grief comes from nothing. There is nothing. He does not know why he's here, and still knows all the same he has lost. 

They tell him silently, and with every language at once, to leave, or the same will happen to him, and his players will be left with no admin to protect them. No admin, and no memory of an admin at all. 

He feels like he has been sliced open and pulled inside out. 

In an instant, he abandons the void, heading home with the knowledge of his loss lingering in the empty space where something - someone - should be.

- - -

On hermitcraft, Pearl is pacing around her room, worrying. She is an absolute mess of anxiety, picking at her fingernails and pulling the skin there until it hurts. 

It is looking like she might wear a hole in the floor with how much pacing she's doing. The dark bags under her eyes show how little sleep she's had over the past few weeks. Her hair is unwashed and messy. Her room smells stale. 

And then, in an instant, she has no idea quite what she was worrying about at all. The anxiety lingers, but when she tries to remember what caused it, she comes up blank. Entirely blank. Like nothing was ever the matter in the first place. 

Huh. 

Well, she has shops to stock and redstone to learn, and a super secret fight club to take part in, so whatever she was worrying about - which can't have been all that important anyway - can wait. 

She throws on an elytra, and rockets off towards the shopping district. 

/// 

Scar does not know why he feels so angry. Or, actually the vex feel so angry. 

He's a pretty chilled out guy, even with the whole vex thing, so this is rather uncharacteristic of him. The vex are absolutely screaming for blood, in the way they would if a deal had been broken. They are ripping his mind to shreds with their constant screeching, shiny talons digging into the most primal parts of him and begging for redemption. 

But he doesn't remember making a deal. He wouldn’t, knowing the consequences.

Maybe he and Cub played with each others' minds again, for fun, and something went wrong on that front? He has no clue. 

Still, he needs to get some of these silly emotions out, so he shoots Cub a quick message asking for a brawl. Cub is very eager to agree, his own vex apparently needing something similar. 

Weird. 

/// 

Gem stares over the water at the other half of her base. She doesn't really know what she was thinking when she put this bit together. It fits somewhat with her little creepy fishing town, but... there's just something kind of wrong about it. 

It's not her style, for one. The builds don't even make sense with what she has planned. These aren’t themed buildings with specific characters in mind. It's like someone else added it in without much of a regard for her aesthetic choices, but... no, it's her base. 

She made this. Didn't she? 

///

Across the server, at the exact same time, everyone forgets. A space where someone should be is glossed over, blocks rearrange their own backstories to fit a new narrative. Years of laughter, friendship, and chaos are replaced - remedied - with stand-ins. 

Everyone is left just the same as they were before, as far as they know. As if nothing happened at all. 

They all just continue on. Pearl, Scar, Gem, Cleo, Tango, Joel, Skizz, Impulse. Joe, Zed, False, Ren, Hypno, Mumbo... 

Mumbo... 

Mumbo... has a headache. He reaches up to press his fingers against the back of his skull, pushing into the point of pressure with a disgruntled sigh. 

Something is wrong, and he can't tell what. He's been staring at this armour stand build for the past ten minutes, looking into the eyes of a stupid cod, of all things. There's just something about it, he thinks, that is bothering him to no end. 

He considers tearing it down and using a different mob head to represent the hazmat suited figure, but the idea of destroying the silly statue makes his head hurt even more. Like an entire part of his very soul is being torn into. 

Which is weird. Really weird. And don't get him wrong, he loves the occasional dabble into weirdness, but this is the wrong type of weird. Disturbing weird. 

There's something missing from this image, his mind supplies unhelpfully. He's a little confused by that thought. Everything seems to be perfectly in place. Nothing is missing. But it is. 

Or... Someone is missing. Mumbo checks to see who's online, and it all seems normal and fine to him. And yet his mind insists. Someone is missing. Someone so important that it is horrific he would ever forget.

That tug at his soul is there again. Just pulling, pulling, ever so slightly. Like someone is trying to break it in two.

His headache sizzles and lingers, depressingly. He grumbles to himself, and decides to bring this up with Xisuma at the next chance he gets.

Xisuma who went away for... some reason.

Well... Mumbo is sure it'll be alright in the end. Things have never not been alright in the end, after all.

[badgalsasuke]

Hi there! I sometimes see/hear fans, especially those who are anti sns (or anti other mlm ships in the series) say that Kishimoto modelled Sasuke and Naruto’s relationship off of his own with his twin brother. Naruto fans have claimed so many things about this man, some of which was just made up, so I was wondering if you could share your take on this whole argument? Did Kishimoto base SNS off of his sibling relationship, and did he want readers to see it in a platonic/brotherly lens, or was he lying (if this isn’t one of those things fans made up)? Thanks ☺️

Hello! Thanks for the question.

Any person that has read Kishimoto's interviews over the years can see he likes to beat around the bush and sometimes even talk in riddles rather than give a direct answer. That interview with Entermix Magazine where he talks about Naruto and Sasuke's relationship being based on his own with his brother isn't any different.

So here's the whole answer Kishimoto gave to the interviewer. Antis only take into account the last paragraph (because of course they would) but that is really just taking out of context what Kishimoto means.

The quote underlined in green is really what Kishimoto is talking about: their ability to feel each others pain. Kishimoto has been asked multiple times regarding the bond between Naruto and Sasuke and he's never given a direct answer but in each interview he let's us know one of the elements that are part of their relationship. In this particular interview is empathy. They're able to understand how they both feel because they've been through similar circumstances.

Kishimoto uses as an example both him and his brother being subjected to the Paro Special of Kinnikuman (which I believe is pulling someone's arms behind them really hard while jumping onto their backs), going through this as kids was Kishimoto's introduction to the ability of putting yourself in someone else's shoes. In Naruto and Sasuke's case is not that infantile, although they're both lonely orphans who have been outcasts of society, Naruto doesn't know what is like to be a survivor of genocide so it is through life experiences over the years Naruto grows and learns how to empathize with Sasuke and understand his heart. Basically Kishimoto explored in depth what he learned as a child as a victim of bullying his brother experienced before him. This is the first thing I take from the interview.

The second thing that I take from the interview that I find very interesting is Kishimoto talking about his college years in what's underlined in red. He's talking about his experiences with his friends and one sided loves? hmmmm and how he went "is this how my brother felt when he went through this?"

Not just that but in the red rectangle he's even talking about talking about a friend from college (not his brother) and how he thought that man, whoever he was, and himself got along really great. At this point Kishimoto is rambling and catches himself getting lost in these memories so he goes so yeah "brotherly love and friendship are the same thing for me" haha.

So here's where I'd like to bring out an older interview:

Here he's asked about the inspiration for his characters he might have taken from real life. Just like in the previous interview Kishimoto also mentions friends from college as inspiration for some characters (he doesn't specify which ones) and this makes me think...

Kishimoto had a friend in college he got along really great (his words not mine) that might have inspired Naruto and Sasuke's relationship but at the time Kishimoto didn't know how to put into words what he really felt so ended up using Naruto the manga as the medium to explore those feelings.

If we combine both interviews we get that Kishimoto tried to rationalized that friendship he had in college and the feelings it evoked in him with how he felt as a kid growing up with his brother. We're so close we're like brothers! type of friendship but Kishimoto wasn't really sure of this label hence why he spends the entire manga using Naruto and Sasuke as models for this theme.

Here's another interview from 2013 "Naruto Kizuna the Words that Bind" where Kishimoto was asked about Naruto and Sasuke's relationship after the chapter where Naruto tells Itachi he's a better brother to Sasuke than he ever was dropped.

I wanted them to be more brothers than blood brothers. I can tell you that is for me the hardest thing to put into words in this story. And it still is.

It's really interesting how Kishimoto was never really able to put this sentiment of being more brothers than blood brothers into words as we see in chapter 698 where Naruto himself states that he can't put into words why he can't leave Sasuke alone he simply suffers when seeing Sasuke suffer. A chapter that's been so many times dissected and analyzed only for us to get to the conclusion that it is about a love confession.

Also the whole "more brothers than blood brothers" is a common theme in queer media to denote intimacy between queer closeted men who are in love but can't find the words (or courage) to tell each other "I love you". It's literally studied in academia like it's absolutely insane Kishimoto said that and no one questioned him for that LMAO.

I'm serious. This shit is studied fr.

Anyway, I couldn't find it but I swear there was another interview in which Kishimoto talked about how when writing Naruto he always did so in a way he would make his first editor (Yahagi) proud of his work after they stopped working together and how that sentiment also transpired onto Naruto and Sasuke's relationship. If I find this interview I'll reblog it on this post.

So based on these three interviews we get the elements these dynamics lent to Naruto and Sasuke's bond. Ability to feel each other's pain; empathy. More brothers than blood brothers; intimacy. Wanting to make his editor proud; acknowledgement. There's a lot Kishimoto took from different relationships he had in real life for Naruto and Sasuke's bond but antis only parrot "HE BASED NARUTO AND SASUKE ON HIM AND HIS BROTHER!!!" like no, that's not true Ellen.

In other interviews Kishimoto has also stated how Naruto is basically him in some ways and a lot of people in the fandom if not the majority think Kishimoto used Naruto as his self-insert and I want you to think about the implications of that keeping in mind what I just wrote.

Listen, I know some people don't like to speculate about other people's sexualities (I personally don't care) but this story, Naruto's story is very personal to Kishimoto and I think he's let us know a bit on why is that.

[elijahs-dumps]

The Infantilization of Wylan Van Eck (within the soc fandom)

Hi! This is my first tumbler post ever, which is like super scary I wont lie. But I've had this project I've been working on since October and I'd love to share it with people, so here goes nothing!

Infantilization or to infantilize someone means to treat them as a child or in a way that denies their maturity in age or experience, and it qualifies as a form of mental abuse. 

This treatment is common in fandoms, although it obviously isn't done in a hateful way on purpose. It’s often directed towards characters who are more innocent, more kind, or more anxious than the other characters within the universe. Or, sometimes these characters are literally just the youngest of the group. Some examples of this include, Entrapta from She-Ra and the Princesses and Power, Varian from Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure, Number Five from The Umbrella Academy, Hunter from The Owl House, Little Cato from Final Space, and even Peter Parker from the MCU.

However, most of the traits found in characters that are infantilized are also traits found in neurodivergent people. These traits include, missing social cues, being easily excitable or restless, often feeling anxious hyper fixating on something (usually related to science or math), being an outcast from the rest of the group in some way, and so on and so forth. Therefore, infantilization within fandoms is pretty problematic on its own. People (usually online) think that characters with these traits should be babied or pitied or demeaned in some way, even though neurodivergent consumers usually relate to these characters because of those same traits. 

Some evidence of Wylan being infantilized can include; the fact he's only referred to as cute or synonyms to that, while the other Crows or their actors are often sexualized more. People saying or implying he's smaller, weaker, or even younger than the others. And of course, people saying Kaz and Wylan are father and son... which is something I'll come back to later.

Why Wylan?

To better understand why exactly Wylan is receiving this treatment exclusively from the fans, we need to fully analyze the Six of Crows duology, which is exactly what I did!

When we are first introduced to Wylan in chapter seven (Matthias’ POV) of the Six of Crows, we see him sitting at the table and doodling while occasionally chewing on his thumbnail. He doesn't speak until Inej voices her doubts in Wylan’s demolition abilities. Jesper says Wylan “barely knows his trade”, and Kaz mentions that Wylan is “new to the scene”. Matthias also makes a comment about how Wylan “looks like he’s about twelve”. When Jesper and Inej continue to complain about Wylan being their demo man, Kaz tells them that Wylan is doubling as their insurance policy because Wylan is Jan Van Eck’s son, the rich merchant who’s paying Kaz and his chosen crew 40 million kruge in exchange for breaking Bo Yul-Bayur out of the Ice Court. This immediately makes everyone in the room think less of Wylan because of his privileged past.

This introduction sets up Wylan to the readers. His reserved body language, along with his inexperience and Matthias’ comment about his young appearance gives the impression that Wylan is more childish than the other Crows.

In the next chapter (Jesper’s POV) as the Crows react to the reveal of Wylan’s identity, Kaz tells Wylan that he’s “passable at demo, but excellent at hostage”. Jesper calls Wylan a “baby merch” and insists that Kaz leave him behind, less he slows the crew down. Wylan is annoyed that Kaz and Jpeser are talking about him as if he isn't in the room. Then, Kaz tells Wylan that the only reason he hasn't been mugged or jumped in the three months since he left his father’s house is because Kaz placed him under Dregs protection. In fact, Jesper even says that Kaz has been “coddling Wylan”. Jesper proceeds to call Wylan useless as he and Nina belittle Wylan for living in the Barrel “by choice”. This is also where the nickname “merchling” comes from. When the group continues to go back and forth over Wylan’s skills, Kaz repeats that he’s only bringing Wylan along because he doesn’t want to leave their hostage alone in Ketterdam. This makes Wylan the only Crow that wasn’t hired for their abilities, Wylan’s passable demo skills are simply a bonus. It’s a way for Kaz to keep the crew small and avoid splitting the money even further. 

This entire exchange and interaction between our six main characters lays out the groundwork for the dynamic between Wylan and the other Crows for the majority of the first book. Everyone else in the room believes Wylan is just another spoiled rich kid. They make fun of him for his lack of street smarts, and the money he was born into. Wylan never really fights back too much when it comes to comments from the others, which just reinforces the idea that he came from a cushy lifestyle where he never had to learn how to defend himself verbally. Wylan’s inexperience and innocence is often mistaken for stupidity by the characters, and therefore the readers. 

Kaz saying, “Always hit where the mark isn’t looking.” Only for Wylan to reply with, “Who's Mark?” is a great example of this. (Still chapter eight, Jesper’s POV.)

In chapter nine (Kaz’s POV) we see how Kaz views Wylan in his inner monologue. He says Wylan seems out of his depth, and even though he’s only a year younger than Kaz (making Wylan sixteen)  he still looks like a child. Kaz describes Wylan as a silk eared puppy in a room full of fighting dogs. This pushes the concept that Wylan is more childlike than the others further onto the audience. 

Additionally, in chapter eleven (Jesper’s POV), we see Jesper quite literally call Wylan “kid” during the attack at the docks, even though they’re also only one year apart. And in chapter fifteen, Matthias refers to Wylan as “the soft one” within his own inner monologue.

Since Wylan doesn't have his own point of view chapters in the first book, the reader’s entire understanding of this character is formed through the eyes of the other Crows. So, what we’re hearing about Wylan in the first book might not be entirely accurate, which is something people often forget. Part of the reason why the fandom treats Wylan the way they do is because of the way the Crows describe and talk to him throughout the entire series, The reader learns to rely on the others’ opinions on Wylan in order to learn more about him. 

All of the evidence I have shown so far, and even some smaller things I haven't included, plants a certain mentality in the reader; Wylan doesn't have the same knowledge as the other Crows, so he must be weak and gullible. Weakness and gullibility are often traits associated with the “younger-one-of-the-group” trope, or the “Kid Trope”. So, since Wylan is displaying behaviors that we as media consumers have grown used to attaching to characters who are literal children, Wylan must be a child, or at least be treated like one. 

However, the Crows don’t treat Wylan this way because they truly believe Wylan acts like a small child, because he doesn’t. Wylan’s behavior is perfectly normal, it simply sticks out in contrast to the harsh environments all the others have been exposed to. They treat him this way throughout the book as a sort of condescending joke, they belittle him for the stereotypes surrounding his upbringing and little else.

Still, like I said, the Crows’ mindset on Wylan is all the reader is exposed to for the entire first book, so the reader will subconsciously assume Wylan must be doing something to earn this odd treatment from the others. Sometimes readers don’t understand that it is not Wylan’s wealthy and sheltered background that makes him different, it’s the fact that the others are all criminals, murderers, soldiers, and convicts. Wylan is the only “normal” Crow on a very surface level, so his innocence is bound to stick out more.

As the first book continues, we see that there’s more to Wylan’s past than he lets on. We see first hand how smart and capable Wylan truly is, as his character grows with the story. It begins in the fight at the docks in chapter eleven, where Wylan uses his own flash bombs to help Jesper out.  In chapter thirteen, Wylan openly questions and even challenges Kaz after he throws Oomen overboard, which shows great courage on Wylan’s part. This pattern of questioning Kaz when no one else really does is a common theme when it comes to Wylan. We also see Wylan explain who Pekka Rollins is to Matthias in chapter fifteen. This shows that he’s not completely incompetent, and is at least somewhat aware of what goes on in the Barrel. Then, in chapter seventeen (Jesper’s POV), Wylan expresses his natural curiosity and desire for knowledge about anything, from the mechanics of the Ice Court moat to the design of Jesper’s guns. All of this builds to chapter twenty-two, where the Crows are attacked on the ice by Grisha who were sent by the Shu, dosed on parem. Wylan does a lot of heavy lifting in this fight with his bombs, and everyone is impressed. Jesper even makes a comment about how Wylan’s “earned his keep” now. 

Small moments like this that showcase Wylan’s natural resourcefulness and strength are crucial to communicating with the readers that the Crows were wrong about Wylan in the beginning. As Wylan’s true nature begins to develop further throughout the first book, we slowly see the Crows and their attitude towards Wylan change. It becomes more positive. In the future, when Wylan makes an ignorant comment, the others don’t poke fun at him as much. They’ll tell him to be quiet at most.

By the final climax of Six of Crows, chapter forty-six (Kaz’s POV), we find out Wylan cannot read. Jan Van Eck is open about his hatred and mistreatment of his son. When Jesper jumps to Wylan’s defense, he goes as far as to say Wylan is smarter than most of the others put together. Jesper is in love with Wylan at this point in the story, so his words might be a little exaggerated. But there’s still truth to them. This entire scene serves as evidence that Jesper and the other Crows have realized Wylan’s intelligence and worth, so they don’t even think twice when they find out Wylan can’t read or write. 

If all the Crows’ preconceived notions about Wylan were proven wrong before the end of the first book, then why does the fandom still view Wylan in such a problematic way? 

Blame Booktok

This is all mainly tied to modern day book consumption, and the obsession with “tropes”. Online reading communities such as “Booktok” or “Bookstagram” have normalized interpreting even the most complex characters through simple archetypes. This is something all six crows are a victim of, in fact, most characters within all kinds of media are. 

A good example of this within Six of Crows is Kaz Brekker himself. Kaz, within “Booktok”, is often lumped together with several other male YA love interests in books, like Aaron Warner or Cardan Greenbriar . They all usually share very few qualities, like having violent tendencies, being extremely protective of their loved ones, and acting cold or mysterious towards others. Regardless of the fact that all these characters are so complex and different, from their relationship dynamics, to their morals, to their backstories,  readers still often view them as one in the same because of videos online pointing out very minute similarities. A broader example I would use is the way the Hunger Games series was often marketed and discussed as if the love triangle between Peeta, Gale, and Katniss was the main focus of the story. But really it was just a subplot to a more serious and heavy narrative.

People will often focus too much on singular tropes because it makes books easily identifiable and marketable in this new era of self-publishing and online purchasing. It’s easier to judge a book by its cover if you have a broad sense of what might be inside based on the small character details or scenarios other readers liked from it. But what does that have to do with Wylan? 

Well, because people often talk about books or even whole genres on a surface level, they also discuss characters on a surface level. This lazy form of consumption is what often leads to mischaracterization. People can obviously understand complex characters like Wylan, so it’s not a question of intelligence. Fans online are just used to discussing things within books fandoms in such a simple way and viewing a character through the lens of one trope. They’ll put the character in a box, and Wylan just so happens to check all the boxes for a character who would be infantilized. Even though there are interesting things about Wylan besides his “innocence”, people are less inclined to talk about it. In short, viewing Wylan as just another character who falls under the category of a simple stereotype is easier than including and discussing his nuances. 

So who is at fault?

When it comes to talking about a more harmful fandom behavior, like infantilization, it’s important to keep an open mind. Sometimes, it’s the creator’s fault for writing a character in a problematic way, not the fandom’s fault for interpreting it that way. So, is Leigh Bardugo at fault here for writing Wylan in this light? Or is it the fandom’s fault for not looking past the obvious parts of a character? 

I don’t think it was Leigh Bardugo’s fault. If you take the second book, Crooked Kingdom, into account then you can clearly see that the way Wylan is disrespected in the first book is something he’s dealt with his whole life, especially from his father. Wylan has been taught to believe that his reading disability makes him useless as an heir, and as a human being all together. This is one of the reasons why we never see Wylan truly snap back in an aggressive way in Six of Crows when the others insult and belittle him. A big part of Wylan thinks that the others are right about him being useless. Obviously, Wylan couldn’t have had his own POV chapters in Six of Crows, because then that would spoil his father’s true motives. However, I think the fact we didn't get to see his point of view in the first book serves another purpose. Wylan’s low self-esteem is definitely a major thing he needs to overcome in his personal story within Crooked Kingdom. So for the readers to fully understand this, we needed to view Wylan from an outside perspective. First, we get to view him as the other Crows do, as someone sheltered and weak who’s in way over his head. Then, we get to see why Wylan is the way he is. I think this sort of reverse style of character writing is really interesting and more fun to read. But still, not every reader accepted Wylan just because the Crows started to warm up to him. So by extension, this is also why Wylan is one of the most hated Crows. Nevertheless, I think the way Leigh Bardugo chose to write Wylan is inevitable for the story and vital to his character! It wouldn't feel the same if we didn't get to see how the others viewed him first. 

The fault lies with the fandom when it comes to Wylan’s infantilization. But, are people online really just lazy when it comes to discussing characters, or is something bigger at play here? I think it’s both. People do misinterpret Wylan’s strong and resilient character because of laziness and the normalization of oversimplification and overconsumption within the book community. But this treatment is also rooted in subconscious ableism. To better explain what subconscious ableism truly is, I’ll be taking a deeper look at a specific dynamic.

Kaz and Wylan (are not father and son)

Despite these two characters only having a one year age gap, the fandom often views Kaz and Wylan’s relationship as one similar to a father and son dynamic. Which is understandable to a certain degree. Kaz is the very first person Wylan ever told about his reading disability. Kaz had Wylan placed under Dregs protection the minute Wylan set foot in the Barrel, which may have been for Kaz’s own selfish reason, but it still kept Wylan safe for a while. There are a couple scenes in the books where Kaz will give Wylan advice about life in general, or about having a disability, not just about being a criminal. We see Kaz take getting Wylan justice for his mother and stealing back Wylan’s inheritance very seriously. Wylan even starts to pick up some of Kaz’s mannerisms and facial expressions. All of these could be viewed as things a father and son would do, despite how small the actual age gap is. However, the fandom seems to take this relationship to the extreme, from fan fiction and fan art, to getting the characters’ actors involved. 

It’s somewhat because of very minute subconscious ableism. People naturally view Wylan as younger because of his demeanor, but also because of his disability. The opposite is true for Kaz. His physical disability makes people naturally view him as older than seventeen in their minds. This is due to long standing ableist tropes within the media. People with mental disabilities are often depicted as stupider in some way, so they need to be babied or coddled. While people with physical disabilities are often depicted as very ill, or very old. 

This might seem far fetched, but it’s true. And it’s quite obvious if you look closely enough at anything from books, to movies, to TV, to games! These are just some of the harmful stereotypes we see in our world every day, 

How to fix this issue

Now, of course people aren’t just going to stop misinterpreting characters or stop viewing them through small scale tropes all together. But keeping yourself educated and aware is a good way to stop promoting these harmful stereotypes. Listen to the voices that are being affected in these situations! In this case, it’s people with mental or physical disabilities. Be sure to take into account what they have to say on matters like this one. Allow yourself to take the criticism and learn from their experiences or feelings. It’s important to be empathetic and kind to one another, and acknowledge that sometimes we do problematic things without intending to. When talking about characters with disabilities, it’s important to remember what they represent, and the fact that you can't always say whatever you want just because the characters are fictional. 

As always, if you’re ever unsure about whether something you feel or think is harmful towards a certain community, never be afraid to ask questions and do your research!

[scrunglepaws]

I accidentally made Tails' siblings in the Folklore au way too endearing for mere background characters. Oops but also I would die for Manny.

Silas (Sails) is a hardworking sailor and musician. He loves adventure and his wife (and kids)! He's buff, sweet, and dumber than a box of rocks- aka a himbo to a T. He and Rose (based on Black Rose) have a bunch of kids, with another one on the way. I made one of the kids Skye just because [he's cute :3]. Pretty straight forward and simple couple, but they're very sweet. <3 It was nice to have Sails/Black Rose rep since that wasn't endgame in my Someplace au. Tails' oldest sibling.

Manny (Mangey) is an awkward, introspective farmer and gardener. He loves the feeling of mud/soil on his fur/skin and is often covered in dirt (this has an added bonus of being great bug repellant). Conversely, tight-fitting clothing (especially hair ties) bug the shit out of him, so he wears oversized shirts and lets his long hair go wild. This gives him the appearance of being disheveled and... I mean, he kinda is, but it's not because he doesn't take care of himself! He's always wide-eyed and frowning regardless of how he's feeling. He doesn't emote.

He's very quiet and shy, but can speak very well once in conversation (though he tends to talk kind of fast). Eye contact seriously freaks him out and he very pointedly stares at the ground when talking to others. He's observant and thoughtful, but can easily zone out in the middle of a conversation, drifting off into his inner world. As much as he enjoys socializing, he can very easily get overwhelmed by related stimuli- sometimes to the point that he curls up on the floor and makes weird noises right then and there. He is almost always fidgeting in some way, especially with his hands and swooping his head down/around. Because of his unusual mannerisms, he's often talked down to and infantilized by people that don't know him. His siblings know better, as does his wife (who I'll elaborate on in a different post). Overall just a super cool dude. One of Tails' older siblings.

Nina Nine (the name is NINE! >:0) is a fiery and passionate tomboy. There is no rhyme or reason for Nine being a girl in this au; my brain just said "btw Nine's a girl in this" and I was just like "well, okay then." She's kind of... Oh dear, she's um. Sort of got the "not like other girls" thing going on, but! She's very young! Go easy on her; give her a chance to grow. <3 As the youngest sibling, she just wants to stand out and make her mark. Kind of contrarian for the sake of it, going against the grain of what everyone wants (especially her parents). One of Tails' closer siblings because they're similar in age and being outcast-ish (the difference being that she does it on purpose while Tails can't really help it). Also, nickname bros! Nine absolutely INSISTS her parents call her Nine and badgers them if they don't. It bothers Tails when they call him Miles, but he's just like "okay... 8C" and puts up no fight. She sort of made a pact with Tails to be cool and single forever... But unfortunately (for Tails/their pact), she met a smokin' hot baddie and was immediately smitten despite herself. Her girlfriend's name is Fiona. Yes, That Fiona.

There are even more siblings, but these are the only ones I'm giving characterization to. Tails being from a big family is super weird to think about.

[blueiight]

claudia still gets infantilized by media surrounding iwtv despite this being core to the tragedy of her condition

i think shes always been infantilized & ppl dont see the merit of her arc bc ppl rly only care about female characters in relation with romance or if they are children [or someone’s child of sorts?] in so far as they relate to the men rearing them. [cue 5001 lestat-claudia webweaves]. claudia is both selectively infantilized & excessively adultified whenever convenient to character/s [somehow both a ‘child interfering’ and both powerful enough to ‘turn louis against lestat’] nd to a certain extent by the fandom too. speaking of the show here too - show!louis now wanting claudia as his child is never disseminated for what it is in relation to louis (how he wanted children, and how hes forcibly exiled from the public sphere & makes do with the quasi-domestic) or claudia (in her want for a companion in immortality & wanting to understand the origins of their existence. in both the book and the show its claudia who initiates the question of ‘who made lestat/vampires as a whole’) but rather ppl render show claudia inert solely as a fictional moral bludgeon to character bash louis or make stuntin like my mommy/daddy posts with lestat. i was thinking too the other day how people often talk about iwtv in the sense of outcasts but never mention claudia… which is insane bc this line in the show alone says so much

But it was 1939, and the only N* allowed in first class was the porter, and the N* passenger rode the rear. The N* vampire made do with what was left, which was fine with her.

neither second-class passenger nor porter directly serving whites: claudia is the black vampire sitting in the stowaway with the dogs and people’s luggage, earlier hiding out in university corners pretending to be the cleaner’s child, engorging herself on blood and taking body parts from her victims to put in storage all if it means she could have something for herself. shes really the ult. outcast of sorts.

[nagarashi]

Always resented the way Logan was treated in Fable 3, didn't you?

Long post ahead...

Fable 3 has always been an example of controversy, at least I used to stumble upon it all the time. Some branded it a disgrace, while others said it wasn't that bad because of the potential it had, which unfortunately was never realized.

I've always been on the side of the second. Just recently I settled on a marathon and went through the entire trilogy. Just like the first time I was "burned out" from that missed potential. In particular I am always saddened by the king - Logan.

For me, Logan is pretty much the only character I really feel sorry for and care about in Fable 3. Yeah, even Walter I feel pretty cold towards.... but that's partly because I'm on the King's side from the beginning of the game, even though they try hard to turn me against him (which is what turns me away from the other characters). And it's the reason I really dislike the Hero (Princess in my case), she's blind, infantile and driven, she doesn't think with her head (probably like all the Heroes in the fable).

The game does our brother one hell of an injustice. I felt it especially strongly when I finally played Fable 2 after many years. The faceless queen (in my case Sparrow Woman) mentioned in Fable 3 suddenly took on a face for me and became something important... I know what she was like and what her life was like. And I'm sure she would have loved Logan, because she was deprived of parental love early on, and didn't want brother and sister to be against each other, because she lost her sister, her only sibling, at a young age.

Logan was the firstborn son of Sparrow and as the firstborn, the eldest, all expectations were to be placed on him, everything was to be left for him... What does the game tell us?

The game does, however, show and give the impression that Logan was some sort of outcast in the family. And for some reason, the Guild seal was supposed to go to the youngest. You say she's a hero? What was her Heroic talent until she got a gauntlet to use magic? Broke sword in training? I may be biased, but I have a feeling Logan has broken more than one sword in training as well.... But for some reason, all the excitement goes to the youngest one.

Speaking of magic, it used to be used without any gauntlets, does that mean that it weakens the blood of Heroes? That would be... logical. That's where Reaver and his still strong bloodline would come in handy, lol.

Back to Logan. Not only was the seal not for him, but for some reason, even in the Sanctuary, the note from his mother was left for Jasper, not him. What?!

There's a strong and unpleasant feeling of ignoring the fact that Logan even exists. Why does he deserve to be ignored? From a game perspective, I understand that it demonizes our brother, but from a logical perspective, I don't see how it's justified, at least not when it comes to things involving family.

That and the way everyone hates him only made me get more attached to him.... and the fact that he's the closest thing we have to family. You can't just walk away from that fact, giving in to calls for a stupid revolution without even trying to talk to your brother before doing so. Was the princess angry with him? That anger is some kind of unfunny joke. She didn't care about her brother, why should she care about some random dudes she's being asked to execute?

The game shows that even the sister didn't care about Logan. She doesn't notice the changes in him (which by the way even Elliot notices, in my case) and doesn't even try to talk to him to find out what's going on.

And as if that wasn't enough, when we get to a certain point and find out the truth of what's going on with our brother, why he's changed so much, instead of talking to him in person, for some reason we let Walter take him away and have a trial where all those bloodthirsty critters from our allies come out when they wish Logan dead (except Page, surprisingly, I don't like her, but she shows a lot of common sense at the trial).

On top of all that, Logan has seen with his own eyes what Crawler can do, he saw the deaths of all his men when they faced the Darkness for the first time and subsequently experienced the horror that Crawler is capable of, and we have seen what he can do through our example and Walter's. He brings out the deepest nightmares.... Now imagine facing the death of your home, your people, your family, the one person you care about. And then with the knowledge of all this you come back and try to tell people the terrible truth, but they just think you are crazy, you are powerless to convince them. But the sheep have to be saved from the wolves, no matter how stupid they are.

Logan obviously has severe PTSD after the incident, recurring nightmares and obsessive thoughts of what will happen if he fails? Thoughts that he MUST succeed no matter what. Wouldn't that drive you crazy?

It makes everyone think you're a monster and hate you..... Imagine what it's like to live under that kind of constant pressure every day? And then your dearest person, your flesh and blood, goes against you... It's like the last drop to break the stone already broken by despair and depression.

I don't know how Logan can be executed at the end of the trial. Personally, I've never done it, although I watched that scene on youtube for the sake of interest. It's just horrible in my opinion... It's so soulless. I love playing Fable as an evil character, but even by my standards this is just too much... Logan's execution isn't evil or even justice as the crowd screams, it's murder besides being very vile, even for me.

I really dislike that at the end, when he leaves, we aren't given a chance to stop him. He will always be a brother to Hero and they will always need each other. Anyway, after everything that's happened, I wish Logan was by my side so he could finally have peace and love instead of hate and despise. I don't want him to wander the world and die in an unmarked grave somewhere.

P.S: I always liked the moment at the trial, when all those who were crying the whole game, what victims of Logan's cruelty they were, immediately turned into a pack of vicious dogs, as soon as they felt the power and opportunity to grab Logan's throat with no punishment, literally siccing you on your own brother.

P.S.S: Screw Teresa, I hate you for what you did to Sparrow and her kids.

[splanana-bitz]

I've seen one too many posts regarding neurodivergency (autism mainly) and how people treat it (saying a niche interest means you're autistic, infantilizing, demonizing, etc.) and I have to add my two cents and say that honestly....I completely agree with the people calling out this behavior. Autism and neurodivergency as a whole is not a fun "quirk" or something to be treated like the whole "omg I have OCD lol" thing (even tho OCD shouldn't be treated that way to begin with), or a personality trait. As someone who grew up with undiagnosed AuDHD up until last February, I can absolutely vouch and say it was far from all sunshine and rainbows like I've heard/seen some people say it is. Sure, I talk a lot about my interests, I hyperfixate, I stim a lot. But these traits about Autism/ADHD get put so high on a pedestal and are borderline fetishized and glamorized that people are too scared to see the ugly side of neurodivergency (not to mention, it can be extremely misinforming to neurotypical and (undiagnosed) neurodivergent people alike). For every "acceptable quirk" I had and still do have, I have plenty of traits that would piss off the folks who only expect autistic people to act obsessed with lemon demon and flap their hands sometimes or something. There's emotional disregulation, the lack of a filter, the impulsivity, the lack of basic social skills, and don't even get me started with low empathy/alexithymia and how unfairly demonized that shit is. I, along with many other kids, was an easy target and was consistently villainized, socially punished, and outcasted for just not knowing social stuff because it didn't come naturally to me, or accidentally saying something hurtful that I percieve(d) as perfectly fine, or just being genuinely odd and offputting to other kids. I am begging you - We need people to start talking about and educating others on the "ugly" or "hard to talk about" parts of autism and neurodivergency, because I am tired of my, and so many other people's neurodevelopmental issue(s), becoming a glamorized thing to have because some people on tiktok decided to cherry pick what traits of a serious, uncurable mental disorder are acceptable.

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

I hated that in any media we have to feel bad for the bad guy by what i mean is that the character is not seen as the horrible person and the punishment they receive we should feel bad when no they deserve that. Not saying we can't make them sympathetic but to remember not uwufied or infantilizing or make them having redemption just because they have sad backstory. The craft 1996 Laura one of girl who bullied Rochelle for being black of course she took revenge by casting spell making her hair fall out. Stolas this is man i hate him so much, every single episode is about making us feel bad for him instead of actually acknowledged his a horrible person.

I can give advice for how making us feel sympathetic while still hate him. The backstory of his simple he was the 66th stolas. His father is the 49th paimon. So the same while stolas is being neglected by paimon he and Stella getting along, but even if paimon is present usually he was mentally or psyhically abusive. Stolas often obey his father and try to always following the rules. Both stolas and Stella are miserable but they can't do anything but to endure it. Stolas is still a rapist, he infantilizing and sexualized blitzo. Blitzo suffer from Stockholm syndrome since he and stolas both have abusive father. So that's why blitzo feel conflicted when he realizing how fucked that is. He had enough, he call out stolas yes he feel sympathy for him but that doesn't mean he can't take responsibility for yourself. The framing is stolas wrong simple. Stella who find out about what happen decided to divorced him and took Octavia with her. Now stolas is all alone reflecting what he done

Next to Laura Lizzie from the craft

I really liked this movie but damn this movie done the girls dirty so much. I make some changes. Rochelle doesn't regret casting that spell on Laura infact she is happy. Beside her falling out a lot student infact mocked her for that. They started cruel prank on Laura taking her wig printing all over the school about her being bald. Rochelle still didn't care Laura parents try to bring any doctor or any medicine but no result. Her friend still stick beside her not for long unfortunately they left her too. She become School new outcast. Rochelle often just ignored her, one day she saw in girls bathroom. Other girls are making fun of her Rochelle still didn't care. In other day a teacher humililated Laura by mocking her believing her to have suffer from cancer. Despite Rochelle resentment she know it was wrong for a teacher to do that. Rochelle admitted to Laura she cast that spell however she willing to undo as long as laura apologize and promising her not to bully other black girl and woman. Laura refused of course but desperation force her to choose. Rochelle put some kind of spell if she ever being racist a curse is gonna come at her. Laura agreed so by different day her hair stop falling out and it return normal. The 4 witch come at Laura, nancy who knew Laura is rich asking for money for the service. Laura protest however Rochelle Sarah Bonnie agreed to that idea. Laura pay them a lot money, nancy reminded her about the promise. Sarah tell her what she doing by pulling one of her hair is to cursed her, Laura is angry. Nancy interrupt Laura reminding her again about the promise

This. I would actually feel sorry for stolas if they didn't shove the uwu baby to make us forget his rap sheet

[beardedmrbean]

[Huey Zoomer Anon]

I sent this in dms, but excuse while I going to sound edgy a bit

https://x.com/agraybee/status/1849503732444115156?s=46

What if you are a descendant of tribes that lost wars and were enslaved by other indigenous peoples and sold to outsiders in return for your oppressors to sell more guns to enslave more people?

While the indigenous purpose cut your culture roots and killed the other half of your family for human sacrifices

Then a couple of centuries later, your other set of descendants wish to return home…only for them to realize there is no Haran for us.

And we came to the consultations that we have merge with our second set of enslavers and other outcasts cultures. Becoming Mutts or as I like to say Chimeras

So most of us stayed in our second land and help build the New Babylon [American Empire]

And in 1 century after being being free from our chains, we help establish the New Babel Tower [NASA] and those were/are the brightest and smartest of us can watch along the watchtowers [Black Astronauts]

And the descendants of those who sold for guns (usually) treated the descendants of their first enslavers with malice show hammer down the idea they are no more than Bronze Age spearchucker, aids carrying, monkey fuckers who can never pass beyond tribal stages of civilization

…You know African Americans can be good inspiration for “Monuments of Sins” types of villains

Sorry, I’m trying to point out Africa Americans are a HUGE wrench in the Decolonial theory because they don’t have any idea how it is to live to Africa just like your average joe

I acknowledge indigenous people should have more rights. But WHY do they infantilize Muslims imperialists?

What, do they think I would started to have hatred towards innocent Arab kids I see every time I go to my local Walmart or my Muslims coworkers because I learn about Arab/Islam colonialism?

Also sorry western academics, a lot of non white people do see Muslims as colonizers. Might want to change your tune soon

What if you are a descendant of tribes that lost wars and were enslaved by other indigenous peoples and sold to outsiders in return for your oppressors to sell more guns to enslave more people? While the indigenous purpose cut your culture roots and killed the other half of your family for human sacrifices

I'd probably be a bit iffy if I were in that boat, unless there was enough of us to actually affect some change, I do like how the guy in the first tweet is finding a way to say it's different for X group, should just say what they mean and use 1492 instead of c. 1500

…You know African Americans can be good inspiration for “Monuments of Sins” types of villains

Could make for a story about seeking some kind of retribution from the people on the other side of the ocean that sold them at least.

What, do they think I would started to have hatred towards innocent Arab kids I see every time I go to my local Walmart or my Muslims coworkers because I learn about Arab/Islam colonialism?

Might be funny to see, not that I would suggest doing it. Given that they also enslaved Europeans there could be a argument made that it's ok that they hold resentment the same way black folks do if someone wanted to try and work out the overcomplicated way to word it.

Again not that it's something I think should be done.

Also sorry western academics, a lot of non white people do see Muslims as colonizers. Might want to change your tune soon

They're still going to call it a symptom of white supremacy because that's the only song and dance they seem to know.

[popularmechanics]

UM. shows you my edgar... 🤲

he's so silly. he's a dude in his late 30s early 40s who was born with the ability to see ghosts and has been followed by them all of his life. ran away from his fancy rich people person European home to go hang in America and bumped into his manic pixie dream boyfriend who ended up being a terrible person and also a serial killer <3<3 his ex(?) bf's victims follow him around all the time and he's their father figure. silly lil guy. except he's not little at all actually. here's an image of him next to a normal sized person (5'10)

he is extremely traumatized but it's okay bc uhm. he loves his kids :) he's also super smart and hyperfixates on technology (he works as a coder/it guy) and. is very autistic. except he's from the 80s so he was definitely not diagnosed as autistic (it was called "infantile autism" back then, very ableist) and he doesn't really know what's "wrong" with himself other than that everything (his background, his anxiety, his trauma, his size, and his "seeing ghosts" thing) all combines to make him an outcast in every single circle he's ever been apart of. I love him very much he's been my hyperfixation for like the last 4 years

WHAT AN AWESOME CHARACTER!!!

Fun fact: I've actually been meaning to draw this guy for a while, I remember seeing him during art fight but i never got to attacking you 😭 I should still draw him.... This lore is top tier by the way! I love how much thought you put into him :-) And I can relate to being hyperfixated on an oc for years haha!

[blaebeast]

Character Bio: Sirit

Name: Sirit, Aadij (used by Hadet, meaning “little girl/sister”)

Age: 25

Sex: Female (She/Her)

Weapon: ???

Faction: Cruelty

Occupation: Primord; Mage

Relationship Status: Single

Close Friends: Hugo, Hadet

Friends: Grows-Bones, Kanne

Knows of: Farris, Etsis

Family: Family back in home village

Goals and Motivations:

- I am selectively mute. It tends to happen in groups of two or more people, but even when I’m alone or with very close friends I am incapable of talking. To compensate, I may use telepathy to send my thoughts or wants to whoever I wish to communicate with. Often, if I have Hugo around, I will have it be my voice and speak on my behalf.

- I want nothing more than to study and do magic. Nothing else keeps my interest like magic does. No one is better at magic than me.

- I don’t want to talk to people. I don’t want to be around people. I just want to be alone. Am I lonely? Perhaps, but it is no one’s bother.

- I love Hadet. I am in love with Hadet. No one understands me better than Hadet. It makes me endlessly disappointed and frustrated that he is in love with someone else. I still let him use my body when he desires it, as it makes me feel like he loves me.

- I have created a homunculus that I have named Hugo. Although it is made from the body parts of warriors slain by Kanne, and thus may look beastly, it is of kind nature and helps me. It tends to my physical and emotional needs, makes sure that I eat and socialize, and overall helps me to feel like a normal person.

Personality and Interests:

- I am autistic. I avoid eye contact. I am obsessive about my study of magic and am devoted to learning every single thing about it. I find eating difficult and only eat a very selective diet. Socializing is impossible for me because I cannot understand what others are thinking or feeling. My day is planned out before it even starts and I must stick to it. I get incredibly fussy if I am forced to do something I don’t want to.

- I’ve been told that my voice is flat and provokes no tone or emotion.

- I am blunt and I am cold. Honesty has no care for feelings. It is not my intention to be rude, however. Just truthful.

- I keep to the library in Castle Bulwark. I like to collect books dedicated to magic, its study, development, culture and history.

- People infantilize me, especially Hadet and Kanne. They do not see me as equals.

- I love to be carried and not walk. For longer outings into the city, I have Hugo carry me.

- I don’t mind wearing clothing. The weight of clothing on me is comforting. I often wear veils and shalls to block out the world. Or shield my actions from my opponents.

- I wish to feel normal. Like I belong. And not like some outcast who pushed her way into place. I don’t know how to make friends, especially since no one likes magic to the same intensity as me.

- I collect gemstones as a hobby, in relation to magic and their application there. Bones, too, also appreciates gemstones from a geological aspect, and it’s one thing we can bond over. Sometimes when they leaves the Bulwark, they’ll bring me back a gemstone, or some other gift.

- I am a priestess of the God of Magic and Heritage.

- I’m not above stealing if it’s for something I really want. Especially if it’s magic related.

Artwork:

[kickflipinahottopic]

Hi, Autistic person here:

This hits home, hard, & OP is exactly right saying this happens in reality far too often.

If you come to me & start saying "You call yourself a freak, & you sure are, but you could be so much better if you do what I say, you adorable wittle baby!", you're now on my permanent shitlist, because you want me as your accessory &/or as someone you can play savior with (it's happened before, to me).

Autistic people get infantilized so fucking much it's insane, treated like we're helpless & can't do anything for ourselves.

Autistic people get our fears & doubts enforced by people (i.e. "Yes, you're a freak-", "It's hard to not hate yourself-", "I know you, & you're weird-", etc., even if a "but" comes after), & the desire to chanhe for the better gets preyed-on by people who want us only changing for them & their needs.

Autistic people, at most points in our life, want to be "normal", because god fucking forbid we be the social outcast with disabilities that prevent us from having fun & being happy. To an Autistic person, "normal" just means "Not fighting my disabilities 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days of the year.", just wanting peace for ourselves.

Little tangent since I'm on the topic, but relevant (I have no idea if something like this happens in the movie, but would bet on it happening): Autistic people get essentially railroaded into being AroAce by the people around them, whether they are or not, basically being told how disgusting it is for an Autistic person to have carnal desires & how weird it is to want a relationship with someone Autistic (DISCLAIMER: Being AroAce is perfectly okay! Being AroAce as someone with Autism is perfectly okay! The point here is that Autistic people are being told we're not allowed to feel love or desire).

I'm heartbroken but glad to see it finally getting attention & other people seeing how fucked it is for Autistic people who so easily get manipulated out of wanting to finally be accepted & loved by their peers.

To all fellow Autistic people, especially the ones who fucking hate having Autism: I love you, you deserve people making accommodations for you instead of forcing you to change for their standards/tastes, you deserve the help you need to break free from all the shit in your life so you can find peace, & may your senses not be cranked to 11 at all times so you can finally sleep soundly & enjoy your life.

The way that you react to this clip is a litmus test for if you’ve ever been autistic in public school or not

[soudakuwunmoment]

ok so

about the autism yippee guy. thing.

look i dont want to tell you that you cant like it. whether or not you like it is none of my business. i am specifically asking if there are other people who dislike it.

personally, i find that thing to be infantilizing as fuck. it simplifies autism into "yippeee!!!!!" and. i dunno. a little pixel sprite thats supposed to be cute, though i personally find it not to be. it looks like it tried to turn the homestuck baby characters into an animal drawn by a child.

what is it supposed to represent even? that autistic people get excited/loud sometimes? yeah, thats true, but i dont yell "yippee!!!"

thats the opposite of what i do

because im fucking autistic

one of the primary struggles of having autism is that your genuine emotions dont come out the way people expect. ive never had genuine joy or excitement translate to a verbal "yippee". it translates to stimming or nothing, usually.

and the expression of the thing rubs me the wrong way. clearly, its meant to represent the problem i just went over. that expressing your emotions genuinely is difficult. but as an autistic person, im the most expressive person i know. why? because i had to learn to be. being animated and expressive is a result of having to force myself to blend in.

so here we are; half of the autism creature is an innacurate representation of what its like to be autistic, something that we cannot express genuinely (socially accepted verbal excitement) and half of it doesnt actually represent how an autistic person might act.

so heres what you might argue: "you have it backwards! the yippee represents the social masking while the expression represents our actual selves!"

if that were the case, then yes, id be wrong. but dont you think theres a reason it reads the opposite way? am i, as an autistic person, reading it wrong? after all, everyone else seems to like it just fine!

but its just. those people who are connecting with the yippee creature guy. i cant relate to them. anytime i meet someone who is obsessed with the thing, they always come across to me as someone whos trying to be autistic. and dont get me wrong, im the last person to have an issue with people exploring their identities and self diagnosing. i think it can be productive, and a great method of soul searching. what im trying to say is that these people seem to be uneducated in what it really means to live with autism. these people always seem to have the "im obsessed with anime so im autistic" kinda thing going on. yknow, people who think that liking something makes you autistic. and yet i talk to them and i cant see any of what actually makes a person autistic beyond just liking something a lot. and i think its these people who use and spread and hype up the autism creature guy, thus why it literally represents nothing about autism except for the stereotypical traits spread by 14 year olds. this isnt a criticism of people "pretending to have autism" its not my place to decide whether or not youve got autism. maybe the thing that tipped you off to knowing youre autistic is the very fact that you tend to obsess over things in an unusual way. instead, im criticizing the fact that the creature that is supposedly a symbol of autism is an absolute bastardization of what an autistic person actually is. just a cute little fandom guy who gets excited about special interests. maybe that represents your autism, but not mine. sure, i like fandom, im a fucking homestuck, pokemon and fnaf fan after all. but simplifying autism down to that trait is why people dont believe we're actually autistic. its stereotypical and harmful, it ignores the traits of autism that actually are hard to live with. how is this creature supposed to tell you that taking a shower hurts because of how sensitive i am to touch, sound and temperature. how is this creature supposed to tell you how i had become socially outcast as a kid because social lines are blurry at best. how is it supposed to tell you that i cant eat 90% of foods, that i cant drink water because the taste and texture will make me want to throw up. or is it saying these things after all, its just hidden and unspoken, and i was supposed to guess. too bad i fucking cant, because im autistic.

im not a cute little animal thing, thats not my autism, and thats not how autism feels. not even on my best day, do i relate with that creature. not even when my interest make me happy, can i look at that thing and go "yes, this is how i feel!" because its so obviously not me. it just feels like its trying to be me, and insulting me in the process.

i dont understand why people like it, and how im supposed to relate to it. i honestly just fucking hate the autism creature :/