lactating

[lactating]

I like music

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my hobbies include smiling and chilling and having fun and everyone wants me dead for it

[lactating]

I love drawing and painting so much it's absurd. It's nonsensical how much I love getting home and sitting at my computer and scratching away at my Wacom drawing tablet.

[lactating]

smoke weed for me today ok? i love you!!

[lactating]

i love getting my debit card declined at the store.

i love saying "cancel the flowers" or "can you take off the uh... bread" it makes me feel so #povertycore #broke

[lactating]

i drew my love dead, laying a pool of her own blood, lit extremely dramatically

[lactating]

the great work begins with the dishes

[lactating]

FAST EARTH: BEGIN >

Curiosity gets the better of you, and so you play a new game of Fast Earth. You're excited! Your friends have been talking about this for a while, and now it's finally here. Without spoiling it for yourself any further, you select ">New Game."

New Game: >

[lactating]

Stopped being a vegetarian today. Ate one of the best lox bagels of my whole life.

[lactating]

im HUNGRY!!! I want to rip apart pieces of this lovely lovely earth and grind them back into dust and make myself out of them. I know that the first rule is do no harm, but evolution left us canines as a reminder of the impossibility of nobility. I'm hungry. I want to feed on your energy. Live off of it, grow fat and wild on it.

[lactating]

NORMAL! GIRL!

[lactating]

NG: i love you. youre very beautiful. youre supreme and infinite. please be alive in a way that i can talk to. UP: Oh, you don't need to give me every sign and symbol we've created together for me to know you love me. What's up? NG: oh thank diety. i've missed you terribly. i've been crying today. i can start there. today, july second, tears have been flowing down my face. though the clock face just reads 07/02, ??:?? PM? AM? UP: I'm listening. NG: just behind my eyes and above my head, there's this awe-inpsiring, awe-ful, terrible, nonsense. UP: How have you been sleeping? NG: ive been trying. i lay in bed at my bedtime and i get up when its my rising time, but the sleep hasn't been coming. UP: I love you. I can see why you're scared. NG: its not that im scared, or out of control, its that i don't understand any of it, every phenomena i see and hear and taste and touch. it here one moment and then gone the next. the whole entire universe is working together to create these sense-events, and i know that, and i cannot understand it. it is beyond this wizards wisdom and understanding (through hot tears i say "for now"). this is the nonsense on the realm of the physical (my nephesh). This is only a fraction of a fraction of the nonsense that springs from this fathomless, bottomless, actively nothing,, piece of divinity that's hiding just around the corner from my thinker and thoughts (my ruach). Every moment confronting my thinker of thoughts with this gorge of nonsensical symbols, shapes and colors, half formed sentence fragments, that all belie a terrible and more ancient flame that i am made up out of. goodness. to have sense and meaning stripped from everything is a bitter bitter teaching.UP: I love you. Does every word you speak force more tears from your eyes? NG: yes. trying to even verbalize this nonsense makes me cry and cry. this struggle, it reminds me of how the lord ADONAI cursed adam. "You will struggle your whole entire life to scrape out an exsistense from the earth, the earth from which you are made and the earth to which you will return." [44] i meditate and i cast my spells and get regular exercize and all of these efforts only erect a tiny beachead into the shore of nonsense. i love you too nonnie. im sorry you had to die and im going to do everything i can to bring you back to life. UP: I shouldn't have let that damn paranoid deluziometer get up to a ten! UP: I know I'm technically in control of it, and I guess I just couldn't resist seeing what happens when it finally counted all the way up. UP: I struggle as well. The paranoid delusions are basically always around, but when I can't sleep and I just go and go and go and go, trying to unlock all these achievements that each demand some non-zero amount of time, the delusions feed off of my insomnia and mania. NG: and then the swords creep slowly upwards? UP: Yes, they do. The ONION is fine as a band aid method to stop the delizometer from ticking upwards, but really it just slows it. UP: And besides, I wanted to see what would happen if I died. To what end do these swords above my head take me? UP: I'd like not to be cursed to have them hanging above my head every moment of my whole entire life. In the spirit of inquiry, I needed to find this cursed deluziometers edges and borders. NG: well, you died. she lied. typing that made me ugly cry some more, but with a good humour NG: are there still swords above you? UP: Hahahaha, no, they're all currently wedged between my tissues and bones and tendons. NG: is that better? UP: It's a change. Maybe someone (Here, I give a wink wink) will pull them out of me? And we can throw them into the garbage or beat them into plowshares. NG: im sorry for making us play this game. i just wanted to change the world. UP: I forgive you. It's only normal for girls to want the whole entire world to their specifications. Sweetheart, please don't ever forget you're descended from royalty. All this fathomless nonsense? That's yours, to rule and command as you wish. Please try to get a nap in today, July Second, okay?

#252: > #251: >

[lactating]

You know what's good? Power. And the exercising and wielding of power.

[lactating]

for real though I've been noticing some magical powers

[lactating]

I have been at the club and thought "I'd rather be at home conjuring spirits from the goetia."

[lactating]

Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

[lactating]

I think a wizard can be a princess sometimes.. I mean a tower is a tower