#on religious trauma

[asoftepiloguemylove]

i will do as devils do. fall.

Sylvia Plath The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath / S. Osborn Blasphemies at the 5th Street Station / Kate Cayley Lent / retirementfund (on etsy) BEGOTTN HORROR PATCH / Ethel Cain Sun Bleached Files / Nicola Yoon The Sun is Also a Star / unknown

i. Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[ "I need a father. I need a mother. I need some older, wiser being to cry to. I talk to God, but the sky is empty." ]

ii. S. Osborn, Blasphemies at the 5th Street Station

[ " 'if there is a light then i am going to swallow it. if there is a god then i'm going to make him cry.' / - s. osborn, from 'blasphemies at the 5th street station,' published in The Rising Phoenix Review (via lifeinpoetry)" ]

iii. Kate Cayley, Lent

[ "When I think of God, I think of hiding. The way a child hides. In hope of being found." ]

iv. retirementfund, BEGOTTN HORROR PATCH

[ Black patch with a screenshot form the horror movie Begotten. A grainy black and white image of a woman standing as she looks down at something. "GOD IS DEAD / ALL HAIL NATURE" ]

v. Ethel Cain, Sun Bleached Files

[ "What I wouldn't give to be in Church this Sunday / Listening to the choir, so heartfelt, all singing / God loves you, but not enough to save you" ]

vii. Nicola Yoon, The Sun is Also a Star

[ "I wish I still felt that way. Growing up and seeing your parents flaws is like losing your religion. I don't believe in God anymore. I don't believe in my father either." ]

vii. unknown

[ Black and white drawing of a statue of a man looking upwards into the distance. "GOD ONLY LISTENS TO ME WHEN I SPEAK THROUGH SIN / IN TRANSLATION MY PRAYERS FALL FROM GRACE BUT I AM HEARD" ]

[hozieresque]

Good morning, I woke up and chose religious trauma

[ryderdire]

I think what fucks me up about the church my parents go to is that they think it’s a sin to live for yourself

[jesusinstilettos]

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

[comikbook]

The Eyes of God, 2023, Digital Painting by myself, Liz Pence

[seraphimfall]

there is an insane amount of antisemitism floating around right now.

i just want to say:

this blog loves and supports jewish people.

this blog does NOT conflate the israeli government, or the atrocities it commits, with jewish people.

this blog is disgusted with those who use or express antisemitism.

this blog knows that if someone needs to invoke antisemitism, they do not actually care about helping palestine or the palestinian people.

this blog will do its best to ensure that it remains a safe space for all.

[madfoolish]

[dukeofankh]

I cannot express how jarring it was after being raised by a "Porn Addiction Coach" to get into a relationship with a woman and come face to face with the fact that she did actually want me to sexually desire her.

Like, in Evangelical Purity Culture, male desire was basically poison. It was a threat. It was this constant temptation that would destroy everything. And even after leaving, in the sort of queer, feminist spaces i spend most of my time in that wasn't something that pretty much anyone was spending time actively dissuading me from feeling.

But my desire is good. It's not something that I'm being accepted in spite of. It's a positive thing. It's a bonus. Not even just vanilla stuff, all the stuff I'd convinced myself were these weird terrible desires that were shameful to have.

It honestly took me over a decade to fully accept that. To stop dissociating during sex and confront that I was, in fact, being a massive perv and that was fantastic and preferable and that I could accept that into my self-image without shame or self hatred.

But it's important to do. It's important to leave relationships that don't welcome that part of you. To know that your sexuality is valuable and valid and worth owning and celebrating. Because the alternative is just...not being. Either existing as yourself and repressing the part of your identity that is sexual or allowing that sexuality to exist but turning off your self while it does.

[heartshapelocket]

[clandestinewhore]

𐕣 𐕣 𐕣

[beidak-art]

This is Huno's every evening since he met Bogna.

feat. @grozat Bogna

[ophanim-vesper]

A short-ish fancomic poem thing about my hc for Zelda

(best read from left to right)

[do1li3]

[bebs-art-gallery]

The Vow of Silence by Light Beyond the Frame

[comikbook]

Forgive Me Father, 2023, Digital Painting by myself, Liz Pence

First post !

Socials and Commissions

[z-1-wolfe]

happy pride :3 i offer religious trauma