#okay yes i did
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God: *eyebrow raised* I made these stupid little things??? No way...
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LATER
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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this post but its the deltabunes
(versions w/out text)
#utdr#deltarune#berdly deltarune#noelle deltarune#kris deltarune#kris dreemurr#roxx art#did. i need this much effort for a shitpost? no#was it worth it? probably not#but did i have fun? yes ofc#and thats. thats what counts okay#goodbye and goodnight. ehe
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Vi paint study
#Arcane#arcane season 2#Vi#arcane vi#pit fighter vi#my art#my artwork#digital art#fanart#artist#yes itās painted#no I am not mentally okay#no I donāt know how I did#although I did give the Great British government 60k to teach me how to do art like this so that probably explains it tbh#Iām 60k in debt but hey at least I can render lesbians now
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jason, coming back from the dead and seeing tim as robin: how could bruce replace me? how could he give robin to someone else?
dick, who created robin in honor of his dead parents and then had bruce take it away and give it to jason without even asking him:
#no hate to jason itās not his fault bruce is emotionally inept#bruce: ah yes let me take away my teenage sonās coping mechanism that he made to honor his parents#and without asking or telling him give it to a random child i adopted#who has never met him before#and not explain the significance of the name or costume at all#LIKE#HOW TF DID HE THINK THAT WAS OKAY???#dc comics#dc#dcu#batman comics#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#bruce wayne#robin#robin!dick#robin!jason#robin!tim#red hood#nightwing#batman
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safety first! šļøšļø
#me sitting down to draw a small loose sketch:#im always scared of painting but because i started this off with ājust a little doodleā i was able to more loosely slap shit down#and not worry as much and have some fun#which rarely ever happens and i worry too much when i paint#but id say this turned out okay#i did keep it too loose and not figure out details in the sketch stage which had me end up having to figure it out while painting which was#also kind of fun#but i might be more careful next time#sonadow#my art#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#also yes i am not spending 5 hours drawing his fucking bike
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Ok we all talk about the Pevensies' trauma at returning to Earth at the end of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and their trouble readjusting to life there again but think of all the funny/good parts too
They return from the country, and their mom is surprised when all her children hug her at the station. Even Peter, who thinks he's all grown up. Even Edmund, who went away surly and withdrawn. She doesn't know her children haven't seen her in over a decade.
They miss their dear Cair Paravel, but they absolutely do not miss its chamber pots. Indoor plumbing is amazing.
It takes a while to remember how modern technology works, though. How many heart attacks did the siblings give their parents or the professor because they walked into a dark room only to turn on the light and find the children sitting there in the dark. (They were by the window! There was still plenty of light from the sunset! They would have gotten a candle in a minute!) The kids sheepishly remember oh yeah electricity is a thing.
(Edmund has a new electric torch in Prince Caspian. He was so excited to get that torch. Almost more excited than you'd think a kid his age would be, and his parents expect Peter at least to tease him, but the siblings all agree light in your hand at the touch of a switch is terrific.)
Suddenly getting really high grades in some subjects and terrible in others. Their grammar, reading comprehension, spelling, vocab, even penmanship? Amazing. History and geography? They don't remember anything. One time in class Susan forgets Earth is round and wants to die.
Also they can never remember what the date is supposed to be because Narnia uses different months and years. They can estimate time really well by looking at the sun though, and Edmund at least can always tell which way is north etc without thinking about it (again, using the sun)
Okay but how many times did they go to pick something up or reach something and realize they are so much shorter and less muscled than they expect? It's a common sight to see Peter climbing on counters to reach a top cabinet, grumbling about how he's High King this is demeaning. (No he never takes the extra five seconds to grab a stool. He will climb that shelf.)
Peter and Susan being delighted because they are no longer almost thirty. (In a few years Edmund and Lucy will tease them about being old and their parents will not understand.)
Lucy doesn't have to deal with periods anymore for a few years yet. Susan might not either. Heck yeah
Lucy loves to climb into her siblings' laps and be cuddled. In Narnia she eventually she grew too big, but now she is small and snuggleable again. Peter is her favorite, and if she's upset, he'll tickle her and tell bad jokes until she's smiling again, but really she loves cuddling with all her family. She grew up without her parents; how many times did she just want to crawl into her mom's lap and her mom was a world away? Imagine the first time she realizes she can now. Or, imagine one day, a cold and grey sort of day, when the rain is pattering against the windows, and it sounds like the rain on the windows of the Professor's house, that first day they went exploring. It sounds like the day they played hide and seek. It sounds so like the rain on the windows of Cair Paravel, that if Lucy closes her eyes she can imagine she's back there, having tea and chatting with Mr. Tumnus before the fireplace of her room, and soon the rain will stop, and they will go out on the balcony and wave to the naiads and the dryads and the mermaids, who have come out to enjoy the rain and visit one other on the banks of the Great River winding past Cair Paravel down to the sea.
But if Lucy looks out the window, all she'll see is the rain over London, so it's not only a cold and grey sort of day, it's a lonely sort of day too.
Susan and Edmund are playing chess in the living room (and they must have studied with Professor Kirke, thinks their mother, because they certainly weren't that good when they left). Lucy goes over to Edmund, and oh dear, thinks their mother, now he's going to call her a baby and be horrible to her, but instead he picks her up and puts her on his lap without even taking his eyes off the chessboard; it's simply a matter of course.
"Doesn't the rain sound familiar?" says Lucy in a solemn, wistful way.
Their mother doesn't know what that means, but her siblings must, because Susan says, "Yes, Lu, it does,ā and Edmund gives her a little hug with his free arm as she tucks herself under his chin to watch the chess match.
(Five minutes later there is a crash from the next room as Peter falls off a counter. Their mother does not understand the words he must have picked up from the Professor, but he's grounded for them anyway. His siblings have no respect for their High King, because they refuse to stop laughing.)
#the chronicles of narnia#narnia headcanons#peter pevensie#susan pevensie#edmund pevensie#lucy pevensie#helen pevensie#the pevensies#okay this did end up a little bittersweet at the end but I tried#let's all just focus on the high king falling off counters alright#and yes the siblings all picked up narnian swear words and i refuse to believe otherwise#i'm also suddenly wondering how much language drift there is in narnia#when the pevensies return in prince caspian are all the swear words/exclamations they learned outdated?#are they using the narnian equivalent of oh horsefeathers?#nova actually posts stuff#long post //#the higher the queuer#post lww pevensies#soft post lww headcanons
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billford comic because i love gay people because i am gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im havign so much fun doodling them
(cw for suggestive stuff!!!!)
#did i waste 3 days doodling billford all day and completely neglecting my studies?#well yes but you see its okay because its BILLFORD#anyways. aziracrow au where theyre actually bill and ford-#billford#stanford pines#bill cipher#gravity falls#š
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@rwrbsource & @rwrbmovieās rwrb appreciation month bingo: favourite scene
I'll break the sound barrier for you.
#red white and royal blue#alex claremont diaz#henry hanover stuart fox#henry fox mountchristen windsor#taylor zakhar perez#nicholas galitzine#rwrb movie#rwrbedit#rwrbmonth#did i mean to start this three weeks ago#yes#but it was my birthday okay#maybe i'll get three more done in time#who knows#it will be a surprise to all of us#also i know i've said it before#but this scene made me watch the movie#i had zero interest when it was released cause i hadn't been interested in the book#way back when it was tumblr's current big thing lol#then i literally saw a gifset of this scene and was like#...... hmmmmm
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Did you think I was done? Ahahahaha no, I have more.
Because chapter 70 of MOMU gave me the very dynamic between them that I missed so much, I just blacked out and started drawing uncontrollably lmao
Also. ALSO. I noticed a while ago that Prowl has the habit of..likeā¦constantly frowning. So. I did a bit of research and made this graph.
In 70 chapters, Prowl frowns rougly 104 times. And the intensity of this gesture is very clearly correlated with the development of his relationship with Jazz, as you can see ahahahahah It might be wrong tho donāt take me seriously Iām not good with graphs
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#jazzprowl#fic fanart#momu fanart#I just#mmmmm#For the whole fic Prowl had to think twice about everything Jazz says#every information could end up being wrong#sometimes even without Jazz realising it#so when Prowl says#heās trusting Jazz. itās.#also it totally wasnāt me googling ābelieving and trusting nuance difference in englishā#the moment I realised the difference I think my brain started rollercoaster loops#he canāt believe him but he found enough faith to trust him#while. YES. For the whole story Jazz couldnāt fucking be believed#list e n#Jazz did a lot of things for Prowl#fucktons of big and small gestures to show that yes he likes loves and appreciates Prowl#Iām so happy Prowl is returning this energy#like#remember that scene a while back when Jazz kissed Prowl? Cool cool okay. Did Prowl kiss him? nope. It was one sided gestures#*gesture. That kiss didnāt make me feel like itās truly something precious because Jazz started it but Prowl didnāt do quite the same#but thisš. This feels so much more important for me. Because Prowl#who is for the whole story was mister I calculate every chance of possible betrayal. Prowl whos entire personality is to trust nobody#Prowl goes. Fuck that I trust you. You feel me?#it wouldnāt be the same if he said I love you. Because love is very much something you donāt have a lot of control over.#but to trust someone? Itās a choice Prowl had to consciously make. You see what I mean? I love it. oh fuck I ran out of tags..
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I'd like to share a little story about my son that's just a small part of what it's all meant to me.
I joined the fandom in 2014, a year after my youngest son was born. He didn't speak at the time he was "supposed" to be speaking, wasn't hitting all his developmental milestones, and was then diagnosed at a very young age as being on the autism spectrum.
Being a One Direction fan brought music back into my home in a major way. I'd been so busy with my career and becoming a mom that my love for music had been phased out in my life. But One Direction brought it roaring back in.
When my son was two, he was watching the Best Song Ever video...one of his favorites. It's fun and brightly colored and silly, and it made sense why he loved it. He started pointing to each one of the boys and said some of his first ever words, their names.
Youie. Ni-yaw. Hay-ee. Yum-Yum. Zack. (Sorry Zayn, blame the video)
Music opened up a way for my son to communicate. It has always been a major force in his life. He is eleven now, and he plays the drums and the violin and according to his older brother talks way too much.
I could never truly explain what this band has meant to my life and to my son. But I'll always be so grateful they burst into our life right when we needed them.
Thank you, Yum-Yum. I wish I could have told you what you meant to us, but I hope you somehow knew anyway.
#rest in peace Liam#I wish I could have helped you the way you helped us#I did ask my son if it was okay to share this#I knew he'd say yes though because he likes to overshare lol#thankyouliam#rememberingliampayne
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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More shitty shits
Edit: the Horror drawing reminds me of that one meme with that tiny white girl and those big guys in the back š
#sans au#utmv#undertale au#killer sans#horror sans#erm the first one is. fanons and canon. I don't think canon horror would be scared. more concerned about why if they're him they're so TALL#cross sans#fell sans#error sans#uh ye that ones about the sexyman thing. error had to work for two years to make it#the others did not work that much so that says they're better than error and error is a loser BECAUSE HES A LOSER HES A OOSER HES ALO#okay so anyways-#it's not that easy to draw on this thing#ms paint
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#i'm here to ruining EVERYONES DAY#tw: torture#i felt like more people needed to know the lore about the arkhamverse because it's absolutely gut-wrenching so hehe ur welcome for the pain#the fact that bruce did try and find him for so long makes me wanna scream#cause ya know they make it sound like he gave up really fast and just abandoned him#but he did try for SIX months? up until he thought jason was dead? (and yes we can debate that he should have known but pls it's a game)#(they needed that to happen for the story so blame the writers)#just as jason had hope for several months that bruce would come for him!#and that makes me so fucking feral#ļæ½ļæ½finally gave up the searchā stop stop im crying im not okay#oh my god bruce and jason melts my brain#jason todd#jaybin#red hood#batman: the arkham knight#batman#arkham knight#the arkham knight#ak jason todd#arkham knight jason todd#joker#dcu#jasontoddedit#my gifs#info from wiki and so#this is truly THE saddest version of brujay honestlyyyyyyyyyy#i also like the āmentor and wardā aspect :3#he was likeee 18-20 here i believe?#:(
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touya is halfway through his workday, grease up to his elbows, little jumpsuit half undone down to his waist, when iguchi comes in to tell him "someone's askin' for you out here".
he's not sure who it could be, but there's no telling, so he just decides to take a smoke break and wander out of the automotive garage, maybe imagining one of siblings out on the pavement.
but the minute he sees you, he stops. nearly drops his cigarette on a rough, "oh shit."
it's been a while since he's seen you, a year or two, and the packet of paper in your hand can only mean one, bullshit thing.
"nah, nah, nah, i ain't signing any papers," is how he greets you, shaking his head the minute you start up the path with a big, determined frown. touya doesn't run, but he sure twists on his heel and starts back up the path, too, as you start calling out his name.
practically all of his coworkers are watching when he comes back into view, not bothering to hide how nosy they're being. their audience makes you falter just a tad and touya clings onto it; anything to stop you.
"never a good sign when your wife comes to find you at work."
there's a long silence, from everyone. when he looks back at youāat your manilla folder and carefully stapled documents, your petition for divorceāyour eyes are heavy and wet, almost the same way they were when the two of you stood in a courtroom, lying about your age in order to pledge until death do you part.
almost. now they're just sad.
from somewhere in the garage, toga calls out a bewildered, "you have a wife?" that makes him feel a way he can't understand, both amused and devastated all at once.
your wedding ring isn't on your finger, but if he stares long enough, he can maybe see the difference in color of your skin, a former tan-line that's begun to fade.
he sold his for stuff he shouldn't have been buying, stuff that ruined him and you and your marriage, a long time ago.
but touya only smiles, and calls back, "yeah, i do."
#not DID have a wife#not has a wife FOR NOW#he's like. yes I DO HAVE A WIFE AND WILL UNTIL I DIE. YES.#idk i just have been loving the idea of childhood friends to lovers touya but he fucks it up along the way#and the two of you never get divorced just kind of linger in limbo while you live separate lives#and when you come to be like. okay let's end this OFFICIALLY bc it's been over for a WHILE NOW#he's like. um absolutely NOT.#LOL he's so stubborn he refuses akfndiska#sorry that this is dog water i hope the idea translates regardless LOL#āæ thoughts: dabi/touya
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Eh, almost forgot ;~;; Commission for sweet @celestialrose3 ;;~;;; Thank you so much *bows*
#rottmnt#I am always very nervous when I draw commissions that are related to someone's story... how to explain it...#No matter how many times you might tell me that it's okay#I can't put it in the words because it sounds stupid and silly#but#you see#It's CAS#cass fanart tag#and it is commission#I ALWAYS FEEL NERVOUS TO POST COMMISSIONS YES I DID THEM FOR SOMEONE BUT they might be related to someone's story or comic and I sit and#think āCan I show it? Isn't it irritating? Am I even allowed to take commission related to it??ā IāM SORRY I'M FIGHTING WITH THIS FEELING#ALL MY LIFE#okay no I can't explain it it's just my stupid brain that feels very nervous about such a topic and wants to hide everything related to it#You saw nothing but I just needed to put it into words to feel a little better about it#*hides*
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