#obliviate

[aelia-posts]

"it's just a girl harmonising with her fan''

So so close. It's actually the silence Regulus walks away from James in after obliviating all of James's memories of them together.

[mourningliliesmorningglories]

marauders canon fic except regulus obliviates james once he realises he has to get the mark for his plan to work, to keep sirius safe and to give james the kindest goodbye he could manage.

canon except james walks around with a hole in his heart and no recollection of why but he finds lily, gets harry, and dies anyway.

[bradleysass]

“Get up,” James demanded, ignoring the grumbling. “We need to talk.” Remus sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “About what?” he asked groggily, his voice heavy with sleep. James hesitated, running a hand through his messy hair. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Something just feels… wrong.” Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Wrong how?” “I don’t know!” James snapped, frustration bubbling to the surface. “It’s like… like I’ve lost something. Like there’s a hole in my chest, and I can’t figure out why.” Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance, their expressions unreadable. Sirius leaned back against the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. “Maybe you’re just overtired. You’ve been working too much, mate.” “No,” James insisted, shaking his head. “It’s not that. It’s deeper. It’s—” He cut himself off, unable to find the words to describe the gnawing emptiness inside him. Remus frowned, his brow furrowing in thought. “James,” he said carefully, “do you remember having a nightmare? Or… maybe something happened yesterday that upset you?” James opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. His mind felt like it was covered in fog, the memories of the previous night slipping through his fingers like sand. He shook his head again, his frustration mounting. “I don’t know. I just… I feel like I’ve forgotten something important. Someone important.”

i worked more on that Obliviate concept. @noblehouseofgay

[rudamaruda520]

hear me out- Forest Gump AU, but it's Remus telling his life story to a progressively more terrified lady on the tube station BUT the lady actually is Mary with wiped memories...

[rogueshadow1124]

DARK TERRITORY

Tom riddle x reader

Summary: After a hard day, Y/N pays a visit to the girls restroom to freshen up, only to find an open passage way.

Word count: 2325

Warnings: mentions of blood/injury.

"Stupid potions always blowing up on me." A Y/H/C haired girl stumbled through one of the long corridors within the castle, dusting off her robes. Her face was contorted into one of annoyance, a low grumble setting in her throat before she let out a long exaggerated puff of air. This was the second time today a potion had blew up in her face, Professor slughorn had assured her that all she needed was practise but she was very uncertain, even when she read of the instructions- multiple times at that- nothingvseemed to go right and she for sure was nothing like the boy who was top of the class. Tom riddle.

Riddle. There was no one quite like him. He was considered the top of all his classes, he was practically a high class genius. Y/N had known Tom for a long time, she had observed him from a far and even had the guts to not only approach him but actually interact with him on several occasions and although at first he hadn't been too keen on her breaking his bubble of solitary and peace, she had somehow managed to catch his attention in other ways. What the girl hadn't seemed to notice was how Tom also observed her but he was sneaky, he stayed in the shadows, in the corners, watching her when she was in her own little world not even noticing the prying eyes that pierced her being from a day to day basis.

Y/N came to a stop outside the girls restroom, pushing through the heavy wooden double doors clumsily. She stompted towards the sink, and turned the brass tap roughly making it squeak at the harsh pressure that she applied. She leaned over slightly at a hunch, cupping hands under the stream of water and splashed her face to refresh herself and get off the excess dust that had cast over her cheeks and chin. A sudden clicking noise caught her attention, her head slowly turning at an angle in the direction of what sounded like the churning of locks and tics was coming from.

She squinted her eyes at what looked to be a now open passage way, the inside dark and eerie as it looked like an endless void of nothingness, there was no single slither of light but only the dimly lit yellow casting through that the restroom had. She stood straight, hands dropping to her sides and fisting at her robes, she couldnt help but step closer towards the crack between the two mirrors on the circular row of sinks. She reached out a hand, grasping at one of the frames on the side, the tip of her shoes just at the edge of the opening and just as she had gone to step inside she suddenly slipped, a scream erupting from her throat as she slid down into the darkness.

Her hands reached out in an attempt to grip onto anything in a panic, this didnt at all feel safe. She felt herself glide off of what felt like a step and landed on a stack of hard stick like figures; her eyes were screwed shut, breathes ragged and heavy as her body shook lightly among the masses beneath her. She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth in a motion to steady her breathing, her hands pushed down on the sharp hard lengths so she could push herself up and onto her feet.

Only then when she came to a stand did she open her eyes, blinking rapidly to adjust to the dim and brisked room that she ended up in. It looked like a widely open space but something like a sewer at the same time. Her eyes moved down to the ground cement floor, bright Y/E/C orbs widening when she spotted what she had landed on, a gasp past her lips as she stumbled back only to hit a wall that she was sure hadn't been behind her before- whilst wide eyes stayed cast on the pile of bones a loud hiss broke the silence, making Y/N lurch forward with a jump, she took one glance behind her shoulder, screeching when she saw an oversized serpent covering above her.

Flight or fight kicked in, adrenaline surfacing to her blood stream as she set off into a sprint, tears coming to her eyes as she pushed her burning legs to take her away from the giant creature. Around the corner was a large stone opening where she had to climb through and over a step to get inside, there she saw a walkway that had staues of snakes along the length, leading to a wall that was in the shape of a man with an open mouth, he looked familiar too her almost an exact replica to who she had seen only in books and pictures. Salzar Slytherin.

Another hiss echoed through the room, followed by a crackle. She stumbled forwards quickly and set into a run again, but she ended up tripping over a crack on the floor, falling face first on her hands and knees, crying out at the heated pain that now spread through her palms and knees from the fall. She pushed up, turning so she sat on her backside, looking up at the serpent that stood stiff only feet away from her, Y/N started to push backwards, open wounds pushing against the floor leaving droplets and stains of her red blooded essence behind.

Out the corner of her eyes she spotted a figure, standing tall and dressed in a familiar robe that was similar to her own. Blurry eyes set on none other than Tom Marvolo Riddle- she hushed out his name but he seemed to take no notice of her, his lips moving slowly in motion but she didnt hear words at all, she could only make out long demeanering hisses and a hint of sharp tone that shone through a different language. At that the overly sized snake hissed back lowly, but didnt move an inch.

Tom turned to the girl, dark eyes looking down at her shaking form. A small smile twitched at his lips when he noticed her teary eyes but not at all did it seem kind, more so mocking and smug. She met his gaze, with wide doe eyes, looking like a deer caught in headlights more so a little bambi, small, innocent, scared. His shoes clicked against the stone geou d as she moved in her direction, crouching at her feet with his head tilted towards her.

"What are you doing down here Y/L/N." His voice rung in her ears, a shiver shooting through her spine at the cold motionless tone. She let out what sounded to be a whimper when she leaned back on her hands pulling them up and into her lap quickly, looking down at the irritated skin that was covered in the warmth of her blood that pooled to the surface slightly.

"Tom..." she whispered his name with a shake in her breath.

His eyes squinted, the way his name flowed from her tongue sounded so good- he enjoyed the shake in her voice, the scarce in her body language. It's what he craved, he wanted people to be scared of him, to he at his will but with Y/N, oh she intrigued him, he wanted her to be scared and at his will but not like others, no. He wanted her by his side almost as a companion, she made efforts to speak to him, even at the times he had pushed her away, she came back the next day more determined for him to give any kind of response; she was innocent, sweet but also cold and quiet, calculating and captivating, he didnt understand how someone like her could be a slytherin, he was very much so invested. He wanted to know every little detail about her, he had never been interested in anyone even merely but Y/N Y/L/N, she was one of a kind, someone with so many hidden secrets. He wanted to taint her, ruin her, in a way that he would have full control and she would need to rely on him in every way. "You shouldn't have been snooping, darling."

"I-i wasn't snooping, I sw-swear." She went to reel back as his hand rest on her ankle, but he had gripped her fast and roughly allowing her no room to remove his grip. He tugged her towards his crouched form, her robe sliding up her legs at the movement when she was pulled to him, her lower thighs resting at his legs, his hand hovering up and over her body until it reached up to her neck, his fingers feathering a touch on her soft skin just before his hand grasped her jaw, tilting her head to look up at him.

"If you wasn't snooping as you claim, then you wouldnt be down here. You would have ignored the open passage and minded your buisness." She pushed her face away, standing tall again begrudgingly reaching out his hand which she stared at with furrowed brows and a frown. Her eyes switched quickly to his gaze, meeting dark stern eyes as he rose a brow and nodded at his hand expectantly, Y/N sighed with a shake reaching up to his hand, letting out a noise when he pulled her up suddenly.

"Ouch.." she groaned, tugging her hand away from him and to her chest. Tom looked at her unammused but something behind the cold, darkened gaze softened, he hummed and pulled his wand from his robe pocket reaching for her hand but this time he didnt wait and took it in his hold in an instant. He pointed the tip of his wand down at the open skin of her hand grumbling out the word 'Episky' and in seconds Y/N watched as the wounds started to close up, sending a tingling sensation through her hand. Her eyes darted up to Tom's but he was looking down, her mouth opened and closed a couple of times, gaping before she uttered a "Thank you."

"Mhmm.." his eyes flickered up to her face, taking in her features; sure he had done this plenty of times but never had he been so close. He noticed how her eyes, they had a certain shine to them but not at all did they seem fully happy, they were vibrant, carrying some form of lonesome appeal behind a built surface, metaphorically she was an iceberg there was only so much that was in the open, at the top, the surface- however there were so many things that nobody knew, or understood, buried deep behind closed walls. He studied her every chance he got and all he had been able to figure was that she kept to herself, most of the time anyway but for some reasosn she chose to interact with him, sit by him, even if it was in silence nothing between the two was uncomfortable. "Why are you so fixated on being around me?"

It was more so a question to himself really, something that he spoke without thinking. She narrowed her eyes for a second, raising her brows softly with a hum. "I find solace in your company. Sure you're mysterious but I like that you keep to yourself, your not like anyone I have ever interacted with." Her eyes were quick to shift to the serpent that still hovered away from them, noticing how it never even left but stayed only watching from the short distance-

"Don't. Don't look into its eyes.." Tom's hand reached up and moved her face to look up at him instead, her face contorted into a look of confusion. "Wouldn't want you to be petrified, hmm?" Y/N's eyes widened slightly, her breathing picked up within seconds of hearing his words, suddenly becoming scared again after calming herself prior this moment, he smirked down at her. "You'll be fine. Just don't look into it's eyes."

"W-what is it?" Her eyes stayed focused of Tom's dark ones, air stuttering in her lungs.

"She is a basilisk- Nagini." He hushed out, the last part sounding with an elongated hiss at the end which made the creature let out a guttural hiss at his words but it still only stayed in its spot, standing stiff in place. His smirk widened when he saw the girl gulp, eyes being trained on his as she didnt know where to look- he enjoyed the fact she hadn't looked away, the feeling was so intense yet it was so good at the same time. "Y/N..." She seemed to snap out of the state she was in at the call of her name, beckoning her back to reality. Her eyelashes flickered as she allowed herself to blink, moving her eyes so she was no longer gazing up at Tom but over one of his shoulders the one opposite to which the basilisk was on. "You're going to forget about this..."

"I-I dont understand?" She tilted her head, leaning into his hand as he placed it on her cheek lightly, shifting so he could rest his lips against her forehead, not in a kiss but just hovering over. He turned her head to the side, moving his face to rest beside her own so his lips were now in line with her ear. "T-Tom?"

"Shhhh..." his hand trailed down over her neck and to rest against her collarbone. His other hand that was free brought up his wand, pointing it directly at her- the only thing was, it was out of sight so she couldnt exactly know what he was doing- he placed a delicate kiss on the skin beneath her ear before whispering the words 'obliviate' making her world turn black.

[k-lea7]

i wrote these head cannons i have for mary in someone’s comment section on tiktok but im sharing them here now

-she covers her face when she laughs

-she winks at everyone

-she always has granola bars (some w/ chocolate) in her bag in case anybody gets hungry

-she crocheted little wand holders for sirius bc he moves a lot in his sleep and she didn’t want him to break it.. and then everyone else wanted one

-she’s colorblind

-she does hoop and/or silk aerial dancing

- she HATES running

-she works in a bakery during the summer so when she goes on the train back to school everybody expects her to bring a ton of treats (she always does)

-she has a good relationship with her family but her parents are divorced

-she loves muggle witchcraft because she loves how they create their own magic

-she has an uncanny ability to tell when someone is lying

-she actually has a really good memory

-she’s a great listener

[rekaisbored]

I have absolutely no clue how to use tumblr but im trying lol, so here is a few paragraphs from the first chapter of my marauders wip on ao3, this is marys pov, if anyones interested, its called The ash of the home, that I started the fire in

Regulus Black was the first to die. Though Mary never really knew him, only as Sirius’s moody, grim Death Eater brother, so she always considered Marlene to be the first of them, their little group, the people she loved, her friends, her family, to die. Marlene’s entire family was murdered by Death Eaters. She was Mary’s best friend, and she died, at only twenty years old. And the war went on.

Two weeks later, Dorcas Meadowes, Marlene’s girlfriend, was killed by Voldemort himself. She went on a murderous rampage before her death, and in her grief induced hysteria, she took out more death eaters in a week than the Order in a month. Mary wished she had the skill and courage to do the same, maybe even die in the end, like Dorcas did, but she wasn’t brave enough. And the war went on.

On the 31st of October 1981, Lily and James died. They were twenty-one; their son barely older than one. Mary heard the news from Dumbledore, who told her it was their secret keeper, the only person who knew where they were hiding, who betrayed them and got them killed. He said it was Sirius, that he killed James, and later Peter, and Lily, Lily, Lily, Lily, her Lily. Mary was broken, frozen in time, unable to do anything, to think, to mourn, to cry. It was like she died with Lily and the rest of her friends. The war didn’t go on, it slowed and stopped with Mary and her all-consuming, raw, torturous ache, and the loss of everyone she ever loved, and the death of Lily, Lily, Lily. It was over, everything was over.

She knew something was wrong, that Sirius wouldn’t have, under any circumstances, betrayed James or Lily. He would’ve rather died. She tried to convince Remus, so they could do something about it, because it was just the two of them left now, but he sent her away. He loved Sirius, and Mary understood that it hurt too much, that he couldn’t even bear to think about it all, that the night James and Lily died, it wasn’t only her who lost the love of her life; Remus did too. She went to Dumbledore then, after spending a month just wandering through London, eyes hazy and heart shattered, and she asked him to investigate Sirius’s case, to hold a trial before sending him to rot away and die in Azkaban, to let her see Lily’s son, to let her raise him. She begged and cried and screamed until she couldn’t make a sound anymore and he shook his head a final time. The disappointment that came with his answer combined with her grief she never processed was too much. She felt like losing her mind from the cruel pain and she needed it desperately to end.

On the last day of 1981, Mary had her mind made up. She went to see Remus, who still wouldn’t look at her, or talk to her. She put on a pretty skirt and a band tee she borrowed from Marlene, back at Hogwarts, only to never return it. She put her hair up in a big ponytail and twirled a blue ribbon around it, the same one Lily had worn the day they met, the one she later found lying around her bathroom after she died. She went to the market down her street and bought a bouquet of lilies from a kind old lady. With only the flowers and her wand in her pocket, she walked to a park nearby. She sat in silence, and cried, sobbed so hard she couldn’t breathe. She was alone. In the park, and in life. She was so alone. She looked up at the sky, finding Sirius, finding the moon, and she whispered, “I’m so sorry, I tried” She choked on the words, her tears staining Marlene’s shirt. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“I love you guys.” She mumbled. “But I can’t do this.” She wiped her cheeks, sniffled, and smelled the lilies, her lungs full of their painfully familiar, achingly sweet scent. “Obliviate.”

[querkynchaotic]

Obliviate

mary macdonald microfic - canon compliant

(quoted choices by messermoon for dumbledore's first line)

The first time she thought about it was when Marlene died.

It had been months since she had used magic and years since she had stepped foot into Diagon Alley. Actually, after Hogwarts ended, the only time she had seen a wizard or a witch who wasn't one of her friends was in St Mungo's, when Lily had given birth to Harry.

The problem is, once you think about something, there is no unthinking it. The more she tried to get that idea out of her head, the more she thought about it. And as things got worse, that little voice in the back of her mind became more and more oppressive.

"What if you just forgot about it all ?"

Forget about the bullying in school, the glares, the insults, the double standards, the spells behind her back. The death eaters who had already killed so many of her friends. The attacks on Muggles she felt were directed against her. Knowing who had done it, knowing why, and having to hear the explanations the muggle news gave. Knowing the truth.

Knowing became too much. And she understood why they all wanted to fight -- James Potter wouldn't be James Potter if he wasn't risking his life to make the world a better place -- but she just. Didn't have anything to fight for. The wizarding world didn't mean as much to her as it did to them, and she didn't see why she would fight for a place where she was so unwelcome.

So she thought about it. Forgetting everything. But there was too much to forget. And Lily was still here, Sirius was still here, and they needed her. She couldn't be that selfish and let them down.

So, she only thought about it. As something to calm herself in the middle of the night, the kind of horrible thought that weirdly brings you comfort, thinking "if everything goes to shit, I'll just forget about it."

She just never imagined it would get that bad.

Because after Marlene died, Dorcas went a bit crazy. And then she died. And then Lily disappeared. When Harry was 6 months old, her and James went MIA. Sirius wouldn't tell her anything, they mostly talked about Remus, and the more they did, the more Mary wondered how they would ever come back from that. But she never wondered if they would come back from that. I mean, they were Sirius and Remus, for goodness' sake.

And then.

And then.

And then Lily died. And James. And Sirius had betrayed them. And he had killed Peter. And the world fell apart.

She's in Dumbledore's office with Petunia Dursley, ready to leave, when Dumbledore says :

“You will leave Harry Potter where he is. You will not speak to him, you will not write to him, you will have no contact with him at all.”

She feels like she's in a dream. She's outside of her own body, watching herself in that office, with that man. Right now, she doesn't see a war hero, or a rebel, or a headmaster : she sees the reason why so many of her friends are dead. No, not "so many" : all of them. Because the two who are left might as well be.

"He can't..." Her voice sounds weird, like she's hearing it on tape. Like it's someone else speaking. It's completely void of emotion, as well. It catches her off guard. But maybe she doesn't have anything left to feel. "He can't know I exist ?"

The old man smiles, all trace of coldness gone. "I'm glad we understand each other."

"Then I want you to obliviate me".

The voice in her head isn't a voice in her head anymore. It's not an intruder telling her "you could forget about it" ; it's her thinking "I'm going to forget everything". It's her saying it out loud.

"I beg your pardon ?"

"You heard me. You want me to leave Harry alone ? That's the thing I ask in return." Her voice is mechanic, daring, like her emotions are turned off. Usually, that's not a good thing, because it's even more of a mess when you turn them back on. Hopefully, this time, she won't have to go through that.

"I don't understand. What are you asking ?"

God, she had forgotten Petunia was here.

"Obliviate. It's a spell that erases your memory." She doesn't bother waiting for Petunia's reaction, turning her attention back to Dumbledore. "You said I'm reluctant to being involved, right ? Well, this is me not getting involved. With any of it, actually. I don't want to remember the war, I don't want to remember how it ended, or why it started, I don't... I don't even want to remember your stupid school. I want to forget that magic exists."

A surprised gasp comes out of Petunia's mouth, and then the mask is back on, and she looks full of disdain once again. "I understand that. I always told Lily it was better to be normal than a freak."

Mary wants to tell her she's wrong. She wants to tell her that magic can be beautiful. But right now she doesn't remember why. Magic is beautiful when it's someone's magic, and everyone magical Mary loved is dead.

For Lily's sake, for all the times Mary held her while she cried missing her sister, she wants to tell Petunia she's wrong. That she loves being a witch. But she's so tired. And right now, she really doesn't.

She wishes she had someone on her side, to argue with Petunia so she doesn't have to. To jump into the fight for her.

But isn't that what they did ? Jump into the fight for people like you ? And where did that get them ?

Absolutely fucking nowhere.

"How far back are we talking about ?" Dumbledore's voice snaps her back into reality. He's looking at her with piercing blue eyes. God how she hates him. But she's also relieved, like this man is finally gonna take away some of the pain he caused her.

"Everything. Just erase everything from when I was eleven years old."

"I would not recommend that. You would wake up with ten years of your life missing, and you would start asking questions. Trying to fill the gaps."

"Can't you..." She sighs. She's so fucking tired. And more than anything, she wants to go to sleep. Physically and metaphorically.

"Can't you leave some stuff then ? So I don't wonder and get nosy about my own life ?"

"One simple way to do that would be for you to extract your memories from your brain. That way we could choose which ones..."

"For you to have them ?" She cuts him sharply. "And keep them in little bottles and look through them whenever you like ?" She scoffs "That's not bloody likely. Aren't you supposed to be a good wizard ? Like, really talented ? Can't you manage to... I don't know, make your obliviate a little selective ?"

"I could leave some memories of school, the ones that don't imply magic, but it would be very blurry. You wouldn't have much. And I can't let you keep any memories that date from after school. That would leave too many blanks you would want to fill."

She sighs. Closes her eyes. Lets that sink in.

He's going to do it. He's actually going to do it. This is it. This is where her pain stops.

What a bastard though, she thinks with a chuckle. She opens her eyes.

"It's fine. Just... Imply that we fell out of touch after school. I have a lot of memories that don't include them. I'll be fine."

"Very well. Mrs Dursley, if you would like to step back."

And suddenly, she sees everything. Like she's going to die and her whole life flashes before her eyes. All her magical life, anyways. It's like her brain knows what to focus on, in a last desperate attempt to keep it.

She's going to forget Lily's wedding. She's going to forget Harry. She's going to forget Sirius' and Remus' flat. She's going to forget Marlene's 19th birthday party. She's going to forget the trip they all made to France.

She's going to forget about Quidditch. James flying on his broom, Marlene and Sirius throwing bludgers at each other, Lily cheering them on, Remus reading in the stands, Peter with a red and gold scarf and pink cheeks.

She's going to forget how it feels to fly.

She's going to forget about potions. Lily giggling when they made Amortentia. Marlene mortified when hers smelled like Dorcas, Sirius and Remus thinking theirs didn't work because they were brewing it together.

The classes. The spells. Peter's magical chessboard, the owls, running in the Forbidden Forest, enchanting objects so they would dance, getting back at the boys and pranking them, getting drunk with Firewhiskey in the Leaky Cauldron, ...

She's going to forget Hogsmeade.

Trying to do magical make up. Sirius' magical moon phase tattoo. The first time she saw a unicorn. James' elf Minnie. The magical fireworks on New Year's Eve.

She's going to forget how it feels to cast a Patronus.

All there, in a second, she sees Lily smiling and Marls dancing and Remus...

"Obliviate"

When she comes home from university, she finds pictures of her school friends on the floor. She doesn't remember taking them out of the boxes, but she's feeling a bit light headed and really, really tired, so that must be it.

She picks up a picture of her and the girls. God, she hasn't seen them in ages. She smiles. She wonders what they're up to now. Mentally tells herself off for not having made the effort to stay in touch. It wouldn't make much sense to seek them out now, four years later.

Isn't it crazy, how you can spend your entire time with people, live with them, and then... They all went to different universities and fell out of touch, or at least that's what she assumes because right now she can't remember discussing their future, or what Lily wanted to study.

Oh well. She's ready to bet one day she'll turn on the sports channel and see Marls on TV, though she can't remember which sport it was she was really into. Or she'll stumble across a book written by Remus at the library, though she thinks she would remember if he had gone on to study Literature just like she did ?

"I really need to sleep" she mumbles to herself.

She picks up the photos, puts them back in their box, and goes to bed.

[moon-meteor-star-sun]

What if when someone is obliviated, all the memories that are being erased flash through their mind?

James remembered all of his moments with Regulus, then could only remember that Reg was Sirius���s little brother.

Mary remembered everything that had happened since she found out about magic and Hogwarts, then could only remember that she had gone to a boarding school.

[bentknife]

everyone today: wooo halloween!!

me:

[starchaserdreams]

Someone please obliviate me so that I can forget that Sirius Black and Remus Lupin died in canon, thanks so much

[bradleysass]

Obliviate. The last words spoken by Regulus Black. And they were directed at his boyfriend he didn’t deserve. Directed at his brother he long wanted to get to know. And lastly his best friend Remus who he confided in when he started having feelings for James.

[autumnweeen]

Dramione Month | Day 1 | Obliviate

@dhrmonth

[lizziegrace970]

Honey, You're Familiar (Like My Lily Years Ago)

Read on AO3

At the age of 21, Mary Macdonald was involved in a major car accident, causing thin, silvery scars to stretch across her abdomen. The car accident caused major damage to her brain- particularly the hippocampus, causing her to lose a majority of her memories from the last decade.

At age 21, Mary unwillingly leaves behind the broken mess she used to call her family. A man who sings the moon song is the only one left. In 1981, Mary Macdonald forgot about a girl she loved with red locks.

At age 21, Mary Macdonald starts her life anew.

At age 26, a man named Remus Lupin walks into her life.

Or... Mary Macdonald, Lily Evans, and a love best left forgotten.

It’s six hours after Mary loses the love of her life that she realizes Lily’s son is still alive. In that time, her entire world as she knew it shattered. There were already so few of them left, but one traitor, who had fought so hard to prove he was not like his family, destroyed it all. 

She spends those six hours grieving a love that could never be, the ray of sunshine who captured Lily’s heart, the most loyal boy she ever knew.

(She will never learn that the boy of loyalty destroyed the only good thing she had left.)

Only when McGonagall comes by her flat that she used to share with Dorcas, does she figure out that Hari Potter still lives, and in that moment, she knew she needed to find Dumbledore.

Mary Macdonald disliked Dumbledore since she first heard his pompous speech as a first-year student. However, her mild contempt grew into hatred when he refused to expel Mulciber, Avery, and Crouch when she was viciously attacked in her seventh year. This worsened even more when Dumbledore had no problems letting teenagers fight in a war they were too young to die for.

She didn't know where Hari was, but she had an idea, and if it were correct, Dumbledore would have hell to face.

In a rage, Mary flooed to Dumbledore’s office at Hogwarts, mentally demanding that he be there so she could speak with him.

Merlin must have heard her because he was sitting at his desk, enchanting a quill to write on a piece of parchment, and eating a lemon tart. His chair looked like a throne.

She had never hated him more.

He glanced up, eyes shining with sympathy. “Mary, I’m relieved you're doing alright. I’m deeply sorrowed by what has transpired.”

Mary couldn't help it. She laughed deep, wretched, and heartbroken, which sounded more like a sob towards the end. To his credit, Albus’s expression didn't shift; his face remained passively blank.

Then, with a frightening urgency, Mary stilled. Her eyes narrowed at her mentor as a realization struck her chest, filling her heart with ice.

“That's a good one,” Mary said, voice cold. “I could almost believe that you mean it.”

Dumbledore wisely chose not to say anything.

“Just like I could almost believe you when you said sacrifices had to be made in the face of war. I could almost believe you grieved Marlene, Danny, Dorcas, Gid, Fab, and Emmeline. But you didn't, and you never will. Because having power and getting what you want in the end is more important than being responsible for the murder of literal children!”

“Of course,” Mary continued, “we should’ve known that, shouldn't we? We’ve read biographies about you, and we know how you sacrificed your family and lover just to gain power. Was it worth it? Are you pleased that Lily, Peter, and James have joined Ariana and Grindelwald?”

Dumbledore’s eyebrow twitched at the name of his fallen sister and partner and Mary got a vindictive sort of pleasure from it. It was the most emotion she had ever seen of the old man.

Mary shook her head, refocusing on her objective, “That’s not why I’m here though. Where is Hari?”

The old man’s face remained impassive, his cold eyes looked up at her. And Mary Macdonald, with a heart that thought it couldn’t break anymore, shattered when Albus Dumbledore said, “He is under the protection of Petunia Dursley.”

No.

No.

No no no no no.

Mary knew of Lily’s infamous sister and her grotesque husband. Mary knew that when Lily first brought James home, Petunia’s (then) boyfriend, Vernon, had called James a ‘dirty Arab’ even though James was Indian. She knew all the mistreatment that Hari was no doubt going to suffer. 

“Albus,” Mary said, her voice cracking, “You can’t. You know what the Dursleys are like. You’ll be lucky if Hari doesn’t grow up an Obscurus!”

“It’s a sacrifice we must be willing to make. He shall be protected by the blood wards.”

A sacrifice.

A sacrifice.

So many are dead, yet Dumbledore counts them all as sacrifices, as collateral. He’d condemn an infant to a life of abuse so that he could what be able to manipulate the boy when the time came. She knew how the bastard worked, she knew that he’d take in strays, children with no knowledge of how love worked, feed them a few slivers of affection and rub their bellies, then send them off to war like lambs to slaughter.

No, he’d done it with Sirius and Remus and Dorcas and Pandora, she’d be damned if she let the same thing happen to Lily’s son.

“Let me take care of him.”

Albus raised an eyebrow, something like pity shining across his face, “I’m afraid I cannot do that, Ms. MacDonald. The blood wards…”

“Fuck the bloody blood wards! I’m a competent enough witch. LetLet me watch over him! Lily and James would rather have him live without blood wards than be shunned for who he is!”

“There are things too complicated for your understanding, Ms. Macdonald. Hari will remain at the Dursley’s residence until he receives his Hogwarts letter at 11. You cannot raise him.”

Mary narrowed her eyes, “Why? So that you can manipulate him when the time is right? I think not. If you don’t let me raise him, I will fight Albus. I will reveal to the Ministry that you’re having the precious Boy-Who-Lived go off and be abused by an incompetent family of bigots. They’ll sack you before you can even leave your shoddy old chair.”

Dumbledore sighed, “I was afraid you would say that.”

Mary frowned, about to question his words when he stood up, his wand pointed at her face. She tried to move and grab her wand from her back pocket but couldn’t; an invisible force, voiceless magic from Dumbledore, locked her limbs in place.

“What? What are you doing?” Mary gasped as she tried to escape.

“For the record, I did like you, Ms. Macdonald,” Dumbledore said, his voice scarily impassive, “But this is a sacrifice that needs to be made.”

“Dumbledore, what? What?  You can’t do this!” Mary stared at her mentor, the figurehead of good, tears shining in her eyes. 

I am so sorry, Lily. 

“Obliviate.”

…

At the age of 21, Mary Macdonald was involved in a major car accident, causing thin, silvery scars to stretch across her abdomen. The car accident caused major damage to her brain- particularly the hippocampus, causing her to lose a majority of her memories from the last decade.

At the age of 21, Mary Macdonald had no idea where she had been or what had happened from age 11 to waking up in the hospital room.

At age 21, Mary’s mom told her she attended the same schools as her two older brothers- even if she doesn't recollect any of it.

At age 21, Mary unwillingly leaves behind the broken mess she used to call her family. A man who sings the moon song is the only one left. In 1981, Mary Macdonald forgot about a girl she loved with red locks.

At age 21, Mary Macdonald starts her life anew.

Mary didn’t remember much about her life before the accident. She knew the basics: her mother, father, and two older brothers. She knew she must have gone to the same school as her siblings, even if that memory was lost.

She knew that for some reason, she had a red lock of hair stashed in a locket wrapped around her neck that she could not bear to throw away. She didn’t know where the hair came from, or why broomsticks made her think of a girl with short dyed hair whose name escaped her.

She was 26 now, and what she knew was that here, running the flower shop that she co-owns with her husband; she was happy, even if a feeling of something missing and lost filled her soul sometimes so intensely that she couldn’t breathe.

It was a normal day when he came in. Her daughter, Dahlia, tiny and in a back carrier, cooed softly in her sleep. Mary’s husband, Paul, at their home, preparing their third bedroom for the baby that grew in Mary’s womb.

Mary was fixing a bouquet, a white lily in her hand when the man stepped in. He’s tan with a mop of dark curly hair on his head. Thin, pale, scars wrap across the bridge of his nose and down his right eyebrow. He was leaning on a cane, limping towards the counter, eyes wide on the shop.

“Hi, is-” Whatever the man was going to say was cut off when his eyes landed on her, “M-Mary?”

“That's me,” Mary said, uneased that he already knew her name, “Welcome to ‘In Bloom!’ How can I help you?”

The man’s jaw dropped, and sorrow flashed through amber eyes. His breathing picked up, and a short, hysterical laugh burst out of his throat.

Instantly, Mary took a step away, her arms wrapped around her belly, Dahlia hidden behind her back. She knew her position; a young woman, alone, weak with two young children.

The man seemed to realize this, quickly straightening his hunched shoulders and looking at her again, an illusion of calm over his face.

“Apologies,” he said, “I just- I can’t believe it's you. I can’t believe you did…”

“Pardon,” Mary interrupted the man, debating whether she should secretly call 999. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

“Sorry,” the man said again, wiping his hands on his trousers, “Yeah, erm, I’m Remus. We ah- we went to the same school.”

Knowingness comes to Mary’s mind, grief for something she knew she must’ve had before she lost it all. “Right, I would say it's good to see you again but I actually got into a car accident five years ago that took away basically all of my teenage memories.”

Remus’ face fell, tears welling in his eyes before he calmed his expression. Mary shifts uncomfortably, taking Remus’ expression to the infant in the back carrier.

“You- you have a kid,” Remus said, grief rampant in his expression. He sniffed, his eyes widened even further, “And- and you’re pregnant.” Mary frowned, she shouldn’t be showing yet, barely past the six-week mark. “Yes,” she said hesitantly, a headache blooming behind her eyes. The feeling of knowingness from the stranger was overwhelming, she definitely knew him from before. He felt familiar; he felt like home.

Late nights in the common room, laughing and studying. Candy wrappers littered the floor. Wishing this moment could last forever, wishing there wasn’t a war that had already taken so much from them. 

“Mary?” Remus said gently, breaking her out of the flashback.

“Sorry, erm, yeah,” Mary stuttered, “Just hard, I suppose. Looking at people you’re supposed to know.” Remus’ eyebrow twitched and Mary noticed water forming in his eyes.

“Yeah, I imagine that’d be difficult.” It was weird, he had a Welsh accent, but Mary couldn’t remember a single time she’d been to Wales. Granted, her memory was spotty now, so she supposed she could’ve been in Wales for a bit, but it didn’t match up, considering it felt like she’d known this person her whole life.

Dahlia whined in the back carrier, starting to cry. Mary sighed, taking her out. “Sorry,” she said to Remus, “I’ve got to get a baby bottle out of the fridge. You can look around a bit if you want?” Remus shook his head, looking uncomfortable, “No, it’s alright. I’ll just head out, don’t erm… don’t worry about it. It was- it was nice seeing you again, Mary.” Mary smiled, “It was nice seeing you as well,” Remus left the shop without another word. Mary sighed, the interaction confusing, but Mary had other things to do, like feeding the fussy baby in her arms.

Later that night, Mary couldn’t fall asleep. She’d been tossing and turning for the better part of an hour, until Scott, her husband, asked her if she was okay.

“Yeah,” She sighed, laying on her back, her hands resting on her stomach, “Just met someone earlier who went to school with me.” She felt Scott shift beside her, while they’d met almost two years after the car accident, she’d told him all the details of the aftermath. “How did that go?” He asked, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder.

She frowned, “I don’t know; it was odd… Like I knew him my whole life, but when I tried to remember, everything just… slipped.”

“Do you know why he’d only see you now? Why is he the only friend that would see you after all this time?”

Dazzling green eyes, soft curves, a laugh like bells, and a heart of fire.

Fireworks and dyed hair and ripped tights and rebellion.

Long braids and dark lipsticks, silver rings, and a voice that commanded attention.

Caskets filled with bodies too young to be buried, grieving a love that could never be.

“I think… I think there was a falling out of some sort. Remus seemed pretty uncomfortable to see me.”

“Remus,” Scott mused, “‘Bit of an odd name ‘innit?”

“Remus Lupin. Wolfy McWolf,” Mary whispered, feeling a puzzle piece had clicked into place.

“What was that, Love?” Scott asked.

The puzzle piece vanished again. Mary frowned, what… what had she been thinking about? “I don’t remember, something about wolves.”

“Wolves?” Scott asked, a ghost of a laugh in his words.

“Yeah, wolves,” Mary said softly, her mind whirring away. “I’m going to try and sleep, baby’s tiring me out.” Scott sat up, “Do you want me to make you some camomile, Love?”

Mary smiled, “That’d be lovely, thank you.”

Only three days later Mary realized Remus never mentioned his last name.

…

He returned two months later, this time with a cardboard box in his arms.

Mary was working at the flower shop again, enjoying her first week of the second trimester, which had the nausea slowly abating. Dahlia was with Scott for the day, and Mary didn’t mind the silence. The door chime rang and Mary turned around, “Hello! Welcome- oh! Hello, Remus.”

Remus flinched minutely, then thrusting his hands out, the small box in his arms.

Mary took it, her curiosity peaking, “What is this?”

“It’s a um… it’s a few mementos from our school days. I know a lot of our friends would’ve liked to see you, but they’re elsewhere now. I’m the last one left,” Remus said, an emotion flickered across his face too quickly for Mary to identify.

“Oh! Well that’s alright, my brother moved out of London himself, he’s a photographer in Switzerland now,” Mary said brightly.

Remus winced, “Yeah, erm, anyways, it’s mostly photos in here, a few keepsakes and things as well” “That’s really sweet of you, Remus. You didn’t need to do all that.” Mary said, then she opened the box and froze. Remus said something in reply, but Mary didn’t hear it over the ringing in her ears.

It was the people; the girls.

The girls that she dreamed about, haunted her memories like ghosts. Whenever she’d close her eyes, she’d see them behind her eyelids: Flashing smiles and frozen stares. There were so many pictures of all of them. They were all smiling, in every single one.

“Wh-what are their names?” Mary asked, voice shaking. It was strange, looking at all these teenagers that she knew had to be well into their twenties by now. Like she’d known them forever. She was supposed to know their favorite colors and ice cream flavors, their wants, dreams, fears, and every single secret told under the blankets. Yet, when she tried to remember, it was blank.

Remus cleared his throat, “That was Peter,” he said, pointing to a larger boy with short blond hair, a faint blush dusting over acne scars. One eyebrow was raised and his lips were posed in a smile.

Sweet Peter. Quiet at first, but quick to retaliate and quip once you knew him. Always sneaking down to the kitchens when someone mentioned they were hungry, returning with their favorite sweet, even though they never mentioned it. Peter loved to gossip with Mary when the others got tired of it.

Sweet Peter.

“And that was James,” Remus continued. A boy with dark skin and jet-black curls. Large, crooked, circular glasses with a matching lopsided smile.

Loveable James. He lit up every room he stepped into. His notes were always filled with silly doodles and drawings. Extremely protective of everyone he knew. Mary always found his belongings strewn across the common room haphazardly. Completely tone-deaf but loved to sing at the top of his lungs.

Loveable James.

“Who’s this one?” Mary asked, staring at another boy with curly black hair that brushed his shoulders. He had a devilish grin, and piercing gray eyes while flipping the camera off with a fingernail painted black.

“That was-” Remus’ voice cracked before he spoke again, “That was Sirus.”

Confident Sirius. Who pierced his ears in the dormitory. Who loved stealing makeup from the girls and spoke in French when flustered. Sirius would stuff newspapers in his combat boots to be taller. Sirius got a record player when he was 15 and played it nonstop.

Confident Sirius.

“And this was Dorcas.”

Righteous Dorcas. Who loved making up words and telling bad jokes. Dorcas was always moving, always laughing, listening to what people had to say. Who protested the dress code and wore exclusively pants for the entirety of their seventh year. Dorcas loved sneaking into the Gryffindor common room at night. Who was competitive at anything and everything, who loved helping out in the gardens after class.

Righteous Dorcas.

“And here was Marlene.”

Spirited Marlene. Her best friend, who hated reading and homework, painted her nails a different color each week. When she laughed it sounded like magic and dimples showed on her face. Who put enough sugar in her tea to kill an elephant. Who always stood up for what she believed was right. Marlene played uno like it was life or death. Who always showed up to school from break with a different color of hair streaks.

Spirited Marlene.

Dorcas and Marlene were so desperately in love. Who hated each other because of Quidditch until their sixth year. Dorcas drew on Marlene’s arms, and Marlene took photos of each drawing. Dorcas and Marlene stood up to homophobes and blood supremacists without a care in the world. Marlene died hoping Dorcas would live. Dorcas was taken down by Voldemort himself because her grief was so powerful.

“I caught them hooking up in the Quidditch closet, that’s how I knew they were finally dating,” Mary said, the words blurting out before she could stop them. Memories raced through her brain faster than she could latch on.

Remus blinked, his eyes wide, “Yeah, they um… yeah. They loved each other.” He showed her the next picture, a girl with red hair and dazzling green eyes, “That was-”

“Lily.”

Beautiful Lily. Who loved ABBA and earrings and walks in the park. Whose Irish accent came out when she cursed. Her hair glowed gold in the sunlight and had soft curves that Mary loved. Lily smelt like flowers and loved reading rom-coms and mysteries. Lily always gave the best advice and comforted home-sick first years. She loved baking and hated mornings. Lily, who was always the best person in the room yet never knew it.

Lily, who Mary had been madly in love with since her fourth year. Lily broke Mary’s heart when she told her she was falling for James Potter. Mary was a bridesmaid at the love of her life’s wedding. Mary and Lily dreamed of living past the war. Lily wanted their kids to be best friends and Mary knew she’d never love another like she did Lily Evans.

Lily and Mary, a love that never existed. 

Mary, who never told Lily how she felt before it was too late.

“That was Lily Evans Potter, she married James a year before she turned 21,” Mary whispered, surprising herself again. Remus looked at her with confusion, but he nodded.

She remembered being dressed in black, watching them all get buried in the earth. Marlene died lying next to her family outside her house. Dorcas, who died avenging her. Lily; who was laid to rest beside James. All of them were gone.

“They’re dead, aren’t they,” Mary said, not asking a question, but confirming, “I remember that much.”

Remus nodded.

Distantly, Mary realized she was clutching the locket wrapped around her neck. Tears were welling in her eyes.

“Remus, I-” Mary cut off, her voice cracking, “I think you should go.” He nodded and stood up to leave without another word. His figure walked towards the door.

“Moony!” Mary blurted out before she thought better of it. Remus flinched, glancing back at her, “Did Lily ever love me back?” Remus paused, licking his lips, “I think she wanted to, Mary. I think she really bloody wanted to.”

He left the shop.

Mary stared at the box, mementos of a past life. Shifting around the photos, she saw friendship bracelets, the initials of two M’s, a D, and an L on red and gold thread. Another locket, this one with coiled, brown hair that Mary instantly recognized as her own.

A dam broke, grief and emotion pouring over Mary.

Only then, did she allow herself to weep.

…

That night, she dreamt of an office with a white-bearded man sitting on a throne. It felt like deja vu, she had been here before.

“Where is Hari?”

“It’s a sacrifice we must be willing to make.”

“Let me take care of him.”

“I was afraid you would say that.”

“For the record, I did like you, Ms. Macdonald.”

I’m so sorry. I never wanted this.

“Obliviate.”

…

Remus never came by the shop again. And four years later, on a full moon that lacked the noise of animals, something in Mary’s gut told her he had joined the rest of them.

…

Six years afterward, Dahlia makes a lily flower bloom out of her hand.

[altair-meadows]

what if ... after school, mary and lily made an agreement in order to not live apart. they would meet every month to go to an art museum or gallery. so, they did. they both loved art. mary was at art school and would tell lily little facts about the paintings or point out some details. lily just enjoyed the aesthetic beauty and to be with her friend. afterwards, they would go to a café, have a cinnamon bun and some tea or hot chocolate and talk about their lives. after lily's death, mary continued the monthly visits to art exhibitions. even after she didn't remember anymore, why.

[stereotypicalswiftie]

The Great divide by noah kahan (unreleased)

A message from Remus to Mary when she decided to obliviate herself rather live through the pain of all they had lost.

I hope you settle down, I hope you marry rich

I hope you're scared of only ordinary shit

Like murderers and ghosts and cancer on your skin

And not your soul and what He might do with it

Did you wish that I could know?

You'd fade

To some place

I wasn't brave enough to go