#not that im complaining! i like seeing new stuff
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so does tumblr count links to other blogs as @'s now?
#tech.txt#i keep being told ive been tagged in stuff when i haven't#but there are links to my blog on the post#not that im complaining! i like seeing new stuff#but im wondering if that's a feature or a bug. or there's just multiple ppl who tag me and then untag me#which seems unlikely
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post-the search for spock but it's a yuri slice of life comic <333 nothing as good a bonding activity as lovingly combing out your vulcan wife's hair as you fondly bitch about your other wife 🩵💙💛
#star trek#star trek tos#star trek fanart#star trek the original series#tos#spones#spones fanart#the search for spock#fem!trek au#dust trek aus#genderbend#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#spock#leonard bones mccoy#s'chn t'gai spock#mcspirk#(if you squint)#im gonna be frank with yall i hid the mcspirk colors and also the enterprise colors in the lava lamp#tbf i hide a Lot of references in my stuff lmao if you see something thats mcspirk colored chances are i had a giggle abt it too#for my own entertainment i like to think spock grows out her hair (if youre new to my f!trek au spock basically has the same hair as m!spock#i like to think spock grows out her hair for fun and jim cuts her hair short also for fun#bones has Not changed her hairstyle in like twenty years and shes not about to do it anytime soon thank you vry much#or so she says#(jim cuts her hair for her and she changes up the length just a little bit every time)#spock knows this. spock endorses this because she thinks it's funny#bones complains about how damn long spock's hair is and how long it takes to dry but she loves combing it out so much#oh......wifes#NOT normal about this au at all but whats new lmao i am my own target audience <3333333 @ yall ty for stickin around#love yall!!
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YOU'RE ALIVE??? - my reaction upon seeing your most recent reblog
Anyway, your fic and blog single-handedly kickstarted my U.S. military history obsession <3
im alive!!!! yeah I've been away for a while. it, ah... has not been a grrrreat time to be a military historian or a Big Fan of military propaganda pieces like Top Gun for the last year or so...
lmfao I just saw that the second trump admin plans to haul up all the commanders in charge of the Afghanistan withdrawal (which HE negotiated btw) in front of congress with the plan to charge them all with TREASON per the UCMJ (good fucking luck dude)
but um in my timeline... that includes navy secretary 2021-2022 tom iceman kazansky, bro... so in case you're wondering what these characters are up to in the present day apparently the answer is "getting investigated for treason." sorry to bring down the mood. my happy ending's a little sour now.
mostly I've been insanely busy. I graduate university in may & have to have a journalism capstone, an English research thesis (my paper on military commanding officers in fiction inspired by my top gun fics tbh) and a creative writing capstone (novel) done by march. plus job applications, work for the place where im currently freelancing, apartment hunting... so im a wee bit crunched lately.
some minor updates for anyone who still cares: I am, extremely slowly, still editing WWGATTAI & the other stories. I've finished a complete overhaul of the Carole-dies chapter, chapter 7, but have yet to post it because I'd like to sync a logistical change in the story across the other pieces. and I'm mostly done with a COMPLETE overhaul of chapter 6 (aka "the nineties" chapter where ice & mav move in together & build their family) which goes into much more detail about how... emotionally and logistically... they could pull that off. + a lot more baseball stuff + the Clinton sex scandal. which leaves just chapter 10 left to do. ugh, my least favorite, which is why im putting it off... and then debriefing etc. which won't take as long because I don't honestly care about debriefing at all and I just have very minor changes to make to it. slider doesn't need editing and idgaf about the other pieces.
once I finish with the edits, which will happen eventually I swear because more than anything I just want to hold the updated edited final thing in my hands the way I did with the first draft, I'll upload my pdf (with meta analysis and notes that go back to mid-2022) for u guys to do with as you wish
also for the m:i doubleheaders I am planning on editing my m:i fic pre-m:i8 next year and pending ilsa life status will write much much more
#have I missed anything big in the fandom orrrr...#also I am on bsky at compacflt (tho I don't post about top gun)#if u wanna come say hi & see what im up to (politics and aerospacepoasting mainly)#'but Lia!' I hear you complain wrt this post. 'you promised all this before! you promised a final edit like literally over a year ago!'#yeah im continually asking for patience here lol#a lots going on in the world in case you weren't aware#trying to be cool and normal about this new administration purging the military of 'woke' and 'disloyalists'#but it is really a five alarm fire along with every other fucking thing this clown and his clown posse want to bring to the country I love#thinking of bringing back my boring march 2023 new-yorker-style tom kazansky interview to talk about some of this stuff in a fandom space#regardless of how you feel about 1980s Reagan neocon politics or 2010s neoliberal politics...#what we're about to see in the near foreign policy/defense policy future is a repudiation of both schools of thought for the WORSE#sorry let me go back to being cool and normal#and not posting on here#miss you guys
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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God, I have such a hatred for that stupid f1 movie, everything about it gets on my nerves so badly. I hate to be this ultra salty person but I feel like I could write a whole essay about how dumb it is and how much it annoys me 😭
#every time im forced against my will to see some new thing about it i feel like im gonna explode#part of it is irrational and part of it is genuine criticism#half of it i guess is just me being possessive over f1 yknow#but the other half is like....why the fuck are they making this stupid shit#i see that old man in the race suit and i get so annoyed 😭😭#why is it weird when girls do self insert stuff#but when a grown ass man wants to pretend to be an f1 driver he gets an expensive movie 🙄🙄#now if they made this movie and had a female mc-#one of my big issues w it is just: who cares#the dynamic is really nothing special. its not really inventive at all#if i wanted to enjoy an f1 story id uhhhhhhh watch old races or read fic lmfao#60 year old man........and yet MY old man gets called too old 😪#please someone ask me to complain and rant and rave djfkgkgk#catie.rambling.txt
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kind reminder that your opinions on certain topics should not go in the x reader tags or anything of that sort
#sttoru chats.#please i wanna see if there r any interesting fics#<- new fics#and im bombarded with ppl putting their opinion in the tags on certain stuff like#put that in the ‘jjk’ tag itself or something not the x reader tags#i beg#‘i dont like it when writers…’ SHUT UP#u can say that and complain all u want on ur own blog#go for it buddy#just dont put it in the x reader tags#the only thing i want to see in the x reader tags are x reader fics / imagines whatev#pretty please <3
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MAKEOUT BESTIES ok that is my new term for any relationship I (an aromantic) have in the future I've decided. We aren't dating we're makeout besties it's different
#trying to catch up on pnat again#the new mostly text based format is definitely harder for me yo stay focused on cus reading.. hard...#but its still very food and i know zach needed to take it easy for their wrist and i totally get that#plus its a way more efficient story telling method like the story is definitely moving a lot faster than before which i wotn complain about#just means ill get to see my kids in modern day (for them) again sooner#hope i get to see johnny again soonish i miss my dumb fucking son#again im not sure if ill be actively using this account like regularly again but ill at least use it for my reactions and stuff lol
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going to be so totally honest, im willing to sit through ANY amount of spock straightness love triangle subplots as long as SNW keeps up the 'giving compelling characterization to female characters' energy because holy shit how incredible has this season been so far? uhura, la'an, number one, chapel, and ortegas have all had iconic spotlight arcs where they just Do Shit, who even cares about spock at this point (and im saying this as someone who chronically and autistically Cares About Spock)
#strange new worlds#snw#my posts#to be clear anybody complaining about the way they wrote the human!spock episode is fine this isnt about that#this is specifically about the number of posts ive seen complaining about the straightness (which i GET i do i love the gay spock reading)#but like i have not seen an equal number of posts getting super fucking excited about the cool shit the women are getting up to#maybe im not going in the tags enough. maybe i should just do the posting i want to see in the world#and not just queue stuff into my month long queue#talk tag#it just honestly reminds me a lot of the way dsc s2 fandom immediately pivoted to spock and pike lolol#for the record i didnt list t'pring there because she hasnt really gotten to do cool shit yet this season but i hold out hope#think im gonna work on homework then draft some posts idrk
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I feel so stupid for being this worked up about the graphics still but god I just. Buries face in hands
#i really worked to set aside my worries and reservations towards it#and hope that they meant it when they said they werent gonna alter too much#but then they went and changed existing options rather than adding new ones#so now we got pplwho are unhappy about the changes and complaining and ppl who are happy with the changes and unhappy with the complaining#whats more is looking at some npcs in anamnesis you can clearly see what an upgrade it is with just the resolution hair upgrades etc#and that you wouldnt have had to alter the facial features of npcs and pcs to polish the games look up#its just so disheartening!!!! i dont feel like im playing ieeha anymore#cause his temporary face isnt him but his usual face isnt either now#and thats not even getting into my many alts who look just as fucked up if not more#and i feel bad for having lost so much motivation#like sure maybe i can mod down the line#but i dont want to HAVE to? i dont like using major mods because i usually prefer the vanilla type of look#and i like it when i can play without feeling like im missing a bunch of stuff when mods are down#it just feels so disheartening?#silvi talks#and whines like a little bitch#i hoped that it would just feel weird because its new but no#the more time that passes the more cynical i feel about the changes HDSGJKSLD
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People nowadays are so used to get what they want from TV writers that when they are wrong they throw tantrums like toddlers.
#misc#me too i wanted her to be some special woman#but it's good to be reminded about ordinary people#mind you I see some plot parts that remain obscure and it's frustrating#but im certainly not pissed about the ordinary mother part#like the whole point of making theories is to stimulate imagination#not being right#i don't want a writer to change their plot just cause i want my theory to be the right one#oh and also#i grew up with the chosen one trope#but opening myself to new stories#it really got old#and not just because it's being overused#but cause it kinda feed individualism and shit#also it makes no sense in dystopian worlds to have one girls destroying the system by herself#that's what capitalism wants you to believe#but we need more community stories#anyway i lowkey derailed from the original post lmao#this was originally about dw as you can guess#and like i said yes some stuff is frustrating#like ruby making snow isn't explained at all and it's??? meh#but the reveal about her mother is great imo#obviously you can disagree#but people complaining especially about the 'she's just a random woman' part#when it has been rtd writing dna the whole time????#rose tyler the ordinary human looking into the tardis to save the man she loves#and not being able to handle it without risking dying cause you know she is an ordinary human#martha jones saving the world spreading stories with the help frop the resistance all across the world#donna fucking noble the most important woman in the universe#being the most ordinary forgetful woman also risking her whole life for a power her human body cannot contain
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It's been a very exciting year trying beers from all the states I visit (Gotta snag one from Idaho! Or maybe some vodka, considering all the potatoes) but now it's time to see what the good folks of Missouri have to offer! I'm not holding out too much hope, probably between like Arizona and Texas in terms of quality but we'll see! Next year I should probably stick to one type, say a hazy ipa or something so I can really compare em cuz no shit I'm gonna like an ale better than a stout no matter what brewery does it. Except maybe like proper brewing in salt lake city all their stuff is so good
#in other words I'm off to do the last oddities expo of the year lol see all you freaks next year#gotta make more subtle rhack art it's fun#last time I went to kc it was sooo fun im so ready to go back#my old battle vest has a pin from a record shop I somehow havent lost like 7 years later and my tastebuds are still haunted#by that one coffee shops insane layered coffee and vegan scone augh#trapped in a rhys shift but my dear darling lover is nice about it so I can't complain hehe#okay I can I want cybernetics and hot ai men to follow me around and stuff but yknowww#WAIT DID I TRY BEER FROM NEVADA???? SHIT I FORGOT LMFAOOO RIP#damn it!#I'll be in new mexico next year very hype to try their beer#love having really really boring adult nerd hobbies lol everybody's gotta believe in something I believe I'll have another beer
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I'm gonna be a little quiet on here until after I start playing Dragon Age. I don't want to be spoiled and the urge to click on posts that have DA tags blacklisted is mounting. And just like with Inquisition, I want to go in totally blind.
#[static]#I can't wait to see what my friends and mutuals think. it's always so much fun to watch folks play new games together#I've seen a few reviews. but I ultimately want to decide for myself#I've already seen people bickering about really inane stuff just to have something to be negative about#and while there are incredibly valid criticisms of EA among other things ... the stuff I'm seeing -#- is typical fandom stuff that I don't want to touch with a 10 foot pole#it's kind of funny how much people can rattle on about a game that isn't out just because they want something new to complain about#and people are 100% allowed to have their opinions and feelings on if they thought a game was good or not but the stuff im talking about is#- like being mad at folks getting invested in characters or talking about how bad they know it's going to be even though they havent played#i think i just hate when people talk with such conviction about how other people should enjoy things that it pisses me off real bad#i saw a take on my for you page about how it's wrong of people to be writing fics about things that havent happened yet#because what if they're wrong and then theyve wasted their time and are gonna be ruinously upset. instant block lol#i thankfully dont see any of this on my dash ... usually just in the dragon age tags or on the for you page which I rarely frequent#just let people enjoy something without getting wound up about it not being the right way. it's just drama for drama's sake#but also feel free to hate it and hate it loudly! so long as you understand it's also ok for others to have a different opinion#it's just the super-online 'everyone is wrong but me' takes that leave me reeling
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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dude, i dont think im gonna ever be over how last year i knew someone who pissed me off pretty much anytime they spoke (they were a friend of my friend so it wasnt my choice that they were there), and one of the other people in the server decided to jokingly as them a question
and, the context here is that this question isnt that far off from the humor i have with my friends and it wasnt meant to be bad or serious, like we just have a lightly edgy humor sometimes in there. but the first person i dont think was in on the joke
but this other person asked the first person "do you hate jews"
and the first person replied with. "i hate lsrael but i dont hate jews"
and i...
no one. no one asked about lsrael. literally no one brought that up. the question was about jews.
and when i later was trying to convey this to that person, they just didnt get it. and all of my other friends (and obviously both the people mentioned in this post) are goyish so it didnt really bother them as much, but i just still think about it every once in a while
whenever i mention this, no one else seems bothered but im just.
there are millions of jews worldwide of all different kinds and backgrounds and personalities and hobbies and things they love and hate, and most have nothing to do with this whole thing going on (me included), but the first thing that a lot of people think of when they hear jew is this horrible thing going on. like, am i seriously the only one whos bothered by that??
like if i told someone im jewish and their first thought was to ask me about that situation id be like ?? why are you asking me im fucking 21 years old and ive lived in missouri usa my whole life ??
luckily i havent talked to this person since november last year anyway, they were seriously so infuriating for like... every reason imaginable
#they were always bringing up that topic. not to tell news or to have a discussion about it. but to ONLY say that hated lsrael#and thats literally it#i dont need a 17 year old who lives in LA a single block from the beach telling me what to think about the world and life#they were so judgy but i literally just always had to remember. they live in fucking LA a single block from the beach and theyre a teenager#so its like. why should i even listen to them about anything#i stay far away from all the stuff happening for several reasons but that just keeps bothering me#im so serious though if anyone comes into the notes on this post DONT START ANY DISCOURSE/ARGUMENTS/REALLY ANYTHING#like i will seriously block anyone who makes a mess in the notes. this is me complaining about a mini antisemitic thing someone said once#this isnt to open a discussion about war or anything#i wont give anyone the satisfaction of a reply. i will *just* block.#this person knew i was jewish btw like it wasnt a secret or anything. so they knew id see that and everything#but since when did they care about other people honestly#ignore me
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#litchi.txt#this is about to be a vent post please do ignore me i just need to scream into the void for a moment#ive been incredibly demotivated to post#like thoroughly just. feel bad#its making it hard to make new stuff and then when i post and it gets only likes and no reblogs Im just...... yeah#i started posting less of my stuff but like i gensrs dont think theres a point to do so im starting to feel like the community just hates m#(which like. fair enough i wouldnt engage with me either)#theres a lot more art that stays in the sketchbook nowadays and the few things that i do post flop anyways so like yknow. who cares#something something create for yourself bs yeah I am creating myself#the process of scanning and balancing the tones to be at least somewhat visible when i post it is For You#i already did the creating for myself but when i share it its cause i want people to see and interact idk idk im being bitchy#should just suck it up and post everything. my 2 note hit posts#its the one thing i miss about being active in the smp fandom like the conversation and response was nice#love how Im complaining about low engagement when Im going through actual horrors in real life like my priorities are whack
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#thw itch is flaring up tonight#im just gonna complain and mOVE ON#but arrrggggg#i know im healing and its gonna get better but#im just so tired of not being able to draw#i wanna get my commissions DONE i wanna work on my patreon#i just wanna get back into learning new art stuff#bwing cut off from art like this.....#idk man#feels real bad#and fustrating#and useless#and too easy to fall into some doom spiral#sigh#but it will pass i guess#the highlight to all this is that since im here at rock bottom ive kinda just embraced getring new hobbies#the muppet was very fun and its so tempting to make otacon or snake#hopwfully this week ill be able to go to tbe store and buy some balloons to start learning how to make balloon animals#then clean out the garage stuff and see if i can find any of my old magic trick props#or else i gotta invest into like facepainting or something#paper cut outs?#hmmmm we'll see......
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