#part of it is irrational and part of it is genuine criticism

[skitskatdacat63]

God, I have such a hatred for that stupid f1 movie, everything about it gets on my nerves so badly. I hate to be this ultra salty person but I feel like I could write a whole essay about how dumb it is and how much it annoys me 😭

[sorcerersandskillusers]

Fyodor and the Devil: Analysis of Fyodor's motives and role in the narrative

Asagiri has stated that he based Fyodor not on Dostoyevsky the author but on a specific scene from one of his books The Brothers Karamazov where Ivan Karamazov confronts “the devil” in his room.

(It's a really good book, you should read it if you have time. Also. fun fact, Fyodor and the devil wear the same hat, “His soft fluffy white hat was out of keeping with the season.”)

Having read the book and gone over this scene, I realized that this could be used to find out a lot more about Fyodor as a character than we see in the story, including a potential glimpse at his real motivations.

A bit of context for the scene. Ivan Kramazov is a clever but deeply trouble man who has struggling with the concept of God and rationalising him with the cruelty of humanity, at one point while very sick, Ivan starts seeing a man in his room who claims to be “the devil”. Their conversation is a fascinating look at morality and why evil exists in the world, and if you look at it closely it reveals a lot about the role of a “villain” in a story.

This line from “the devil” is really interesting to me, and seems to explain a lot about Fyodor’s character, as well as align perfectly with how Asagiri has described Fyodor in interviews:

Before time was, by some decree which I could never make out, I

was predestined 'to deny' and yet I am genuinely good-hearted and not at all inclined to negation.

'No, you must go and deny, without denial there's no criticism and what would a journal be without a column of criticism?' 

Without criticism it would be nothing but one 'hosannah.' But nothing but hosannah is not enough for life, the hosannah must be tried in the crucible of doubt and so on, in the same style. But I don't meddle in that, I didn't  create it, I am not answerable for it. Well, they've chosen their scapegoat, they've made me write the column of criticism and so life was made possible.

Basically the devil is saying that he was created because without evil then good means nothing, if everything was perfect then nothing would happen or change, life couldn’t exist, so he was forced to be that evil even though he never wanted to be.

This is so similar to how Fyodor is described in the BSD exposition 2020:

Fyodor is the antagonist, he is the villain of the story, that is the role he plays. This explains why he chooses to commit so many atrocities in the name of  “following God's plan”. It even connects to his line in The Dead Apple, and his ability name. He is both crime and punishment, as “crime” or sin originates with the devil, but it's also the devil who punishes sinners.

(I mean the title of the episode he is introduced in is literally “My Ill Deeds Are the Work of God” by committing evil acts he is fulfilling God's purpose for him.)

And if Fyodor is really based on “the devil” it's very likely he also either does or used to wish for release from this role that was assigned to him, but he knows that he cannot stray from his path or the story will cease to exist. My evidence for Fyodor wanting to be free of his mission is just one interaction, when he kills Karma.

Look at Fyodor's expression here, this is the only time in the entire series where we see him look truly sad. This isn't an act, there is no one there for him to trick, he simply says a quiet prayer for the life of a boy who's only purpose was to suffer and die.

This next part of “the devils” speech actually seems to fit very well for Dazai, it's interesting since he is the narrative foil to Fyodor and clearly is a very similar character.

We understand that comedy; I, for instance, simply ask for annihilation. No, live, I am told, for there'd be nothing without you.

If everything in the universe were sensible, nothing would happen. There would be no events without you, and there must be events. So against the grain I serve to produce events and do what's irrational because I am commanded to.

For all their indisputable intelligence,men take this farce as something serious, and that is their tragedy. They suffer, of course... but then they live, they live a real life, not a fantastic one, for suffering is life. Without suffering what would be the pleasure of it? It would be transformed into an endless church service; it would be holy, but tedious. But what about me? I suffer, but still, I don't live. I am x in an indeterminate equation. I am a sort of phantom in life who has lost all beginning and end, and who has even forgotten his own name. 

This ties perfectly into Dazai and Fyodor’s debate on the nature of God in the sky casino arc.

Dazai here points out that it's not perfection and harmony that make the world move, it's the irrational, it's the foolishness and stupidity of humans who charges into life making a million mistakes but always finding ways to fight on through it. Here Dazai and Fyodor represent the conflicting sides of “the devil” with Fyodor embodying his mission to drive the world and Dazai embodying his secret love for, and wish to join, humanity.

“I love men genuinely, I've been greatly calumniated! Here when I stay withyou from time to time, my life gains a kind of reality and that's what I like most of all. Yousee, like you, I suffer from the fantastic and so I love the realism of earth. Here, with you, everything is circumscribed, here all is formulated and geometrical, while we have nothing but indeterminate equations! I wander about here dreaming. I like dreaming. Besides, on earth I become superstitious. Please don't laugh, that's just what I like, to become superstitious. I adopt all your habits here: I've grown fond of going to the public baths, would you believe it?

And I go and steam myself with merchants and priests. What I dream of is becoming incarnate once for all and irrevocably in the form of some merchant's wife weighing eighteen stone, and of believing all she believes. My ideal is to go to church and offer a candle in simple-hearted faith, upon my word it is. Then there would be an end to my sufferings.”

“"Why not, if I sometimes put on fleshly form? I put on fleshly form and I take the consequences. Satan sum et nihil humanum a me alienum puto."*

* I am Satan, and deem nothing human alien to me.”

This piece from the devil feels like it could be a description of Dazai’s character, his wish above all else to find happiness and love as a human despite believing he is a demon. Both Dazai and Fyodor have strong ties to the Devil, both of them are often described as demonic or inhuman, with emphasis placed on the darkness of their souls and the isolation they feel due to their minds.

But the difference between them is how they dealt with it, Fyodor chose to embrace it and fully commit to his role in the story as the ultimate evil for the greater good, but Dazai has always shown a fasciation with humans and has spent his life trying to connect to them and find meaning in his existence.

Finally, let's look at what we can learn about Fyodor’s motivation. Fyodor is the villain, he is the final obstacle the protagonist has to overcome, he is the driving force behind so much of Atsushi’s life and the reason so much of the series has played out at all. He sent Shibusawa to torture Atsushi as a child, he was an informant to the guild who put the bounty on Atsushi making the mafia turn on him, he was involved in the guild invasion, and obviously he was the master mind behind cannibalism and Decay of Angles.

If he is aware of his position as the antagonist, then he also is probably aware Atsushi is the protagonist, he knew he was the “envy of all ability users” after all, so he knows Atsushi has some significance to the world as a whole.

Atsushi is also the “guide to the book” which is seemingly Fyodor’s end goal, so even though Fyodor doesn’t seem to be focused on Atsushi, he has been indirectly influencing his whole journey up to this point. This also explains why Fyodor is only moving actively now, because the protagonist has appeared and his role as the villain can finally be fulfilled and he, like “the devil” can finally get the “annihilation” he asked for. Hence, Fyodor’s true goal is to erase himself from the narrative.

There is actually quite a lot of evidence for this. The obvious part is that Fyodor wants to rid the world of ability users while he himself is an ability user, he cannot exist in his perfect world. 

Then there’s the fact that in the Dead Apple, Fyodor calls himself “crime” if Fyodor is “crime” or “sin” then a world free of sin would not contain him at all

Even when Fyodor talks about sin, he says how humans are easily manipulated into killing each other, while he constantly manipulates characters into killing each other, he is the cause of the sin he fights.

A really strong bit of evidence is this interview with Asagiri and Harukawa

Not only does Asagiri reiterate Fyodors role as the person who moves the story, Harukawa specifically mentions that Fyodor might be trying to create a world without ability users because he thought it was a “bad thing to do” aka the action a villain would take that would lead to a hero stopping them.

“Dos-san is the biggest villain in the story so far, but I have continued to draw him with spaced out eyes that are neither righteous nor evil for a long time. The only time I drew his eyes completely white was when he said he would create a world without skill users. It was because, in reality, we would decide what is evil or not by our own scales, but I wasn't sure if he himself was doing it because he thought that was a bad thing to do.”

This also connects to how Fyodor was able to understand Gogol when no one else could, Gogol is chooses to fight against the way the world is to prove to himself that he truly is free. Fyodor, who is bound to play a part in a narrative, would understand that feeling and that longing to be truly free.

To be clear, I don’t think that Fyodor is really a good person whose just been trapped in an awful position against his will, we see many times that Fyodor revels in his cruelty and enjoys killing and torturing others. Its the same with “the devil” in the book, although he hates the job he was given, he tells Ivan stories of the people he’s corrupted and seems very proud of himself for it.

My personal interpretation is that the sadistic zelot personality Fyodor displays is a mixture of a mask and a coping mechanism, kind of similar to Yosano developing a sadistic side to help her deal with the guilt of half killing people in order to heal them. I think it makes sense that after centuries of cruelty and manipulation a person would become detached and stop really caring about the lives he destroys.

This analysis is partially unfinshed but I wanted to post it now and see what other people think of it.

[twistyfish]

prompt~ rafayel fluff -> angst where he’s rude and apologizes after. requested by anon!

“Why did you paint my acne scars so clearly?”

“Because they’re on your face!”

While you were normally impressed by Rafayel’s attention to detail, today it was making you very self conscious. “Was there really a reason to include them, though? They’re temporary marks that aren’t a part of me. And you literally drew the individual pores on my nose- Raf, this is so unflattering.”

“Quit micromanaging me. Art isn’t supposed to judge itself, you know.”

You huffed at his response. “But art is supposed to be pretty. This is not pretty. It’s uncanny. It looks too much like me, I don’t like it.”

He chuckled. “You don’t like that the portrait I’m painting of you looks like you? You’re so interesting, cutie.”

“Stop, you know what I mean.”

He didn’t turn his head, but his gaze flitted to meet yours before returning to the canvas. “Just trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

You watched the brush flutter around the canvas like moth wings, leaving intricate strokes in its wake. As Rafayel became more engrossed in his process, you left him to work and went out with a few girls from your team.

You had a nice time catching up with them and getting coffee. Well, two of you got coffee and Tara got hot chocolate.

When you returned a few hours later, he was staring at the painting with a look of intense scrutiny. You walked up to him quietly.

A little too quietly, because when you put a hand on his shoulder, he tensed and his paintbrush created a small splotch on the canvas mid-stroke.

“Oh! I’m sorr-“ you started, but he cut you off.

“Are you kidding me? I just finished painting that section.”

Your heart sank a little. You felt genuinely apologetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I don’t care what you meant to do. You ruined it. There’s a huge smudge over the nose.” His shoulders were tense, and he was holding himself more rigidly than he had been when you left.

“Raf, I think you should take a break.”

“Oh, so just because I’m upset that you interfered with my painting, I’m being irrational?”

“That’s not what I-“

“Don’t think I didn’t notice. The spot where you made me mess up is right on top of the part you didn’t like. If you’re that insecure, you shouldn’t have asked me to paint you.”

Your mouth opened slightly. “What?” You said harshly.

“You heard me. Why ask me to paint your face if you’re going to criticize me every step of the way?”

“Stop. I accidentally startled you and you made a mistake because of it. Are you seriously accusing me of sabotaging your painting because of that?”

“Maybe.”

You stared at him blankly. “I can’t believe you.”

“I can’t believe you either.”

You shook your head and picked up your bag, walking toward the exit. You weren’t going to argue with him like this.

Your mind spun. Why was he acting like this?

Fortunately, he seemed to come to his senses fast because you didn’t even make it halfway home before the phone rang. You accepted the call half heartedly.

“Hey,” his voice rang through the phone.

“Hi,” you said with a flat tone.

“I’m a dick.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have called you insecure and I shouldn’t have accused you of anything. I’m the one who messed up.”

“It’s not a huge deal, but yeah, you shouldn’t have.”

“No, it was unnecessary. And what I said about me not painting you? That was stupid. I love painting you. I would paint you all day if I could. I can’t capture your likeness perfectly, but trying to recreate that radiance makes me so, so happy.”

Your lips spread into a smile hearing that. “Really?”

“Really. I got too defensive over my art of you, but that wasn’t cool because I snapped at the real you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Raf. I forgive you.”

“Yay!”

[hiraethminds]

This is a tangent, I'm here to entertain with needless rambling

The deep rooted hatred for taco I see in the II community genuinely concerns me. Especially since those people tend to be Mephone "apologists"(For lack of a better word, I love Mephone don't get me wrong) despite how taco is the "active" side of the coin to his "passive". The connections between them are there trust me Im connecting the dots. Ive connected them.

I understand that she's done bad things, but blaming her for her shortcomings when she doesn't and never had the same support group to change as Mephone did makes me a little ehh.. Getting upset because Microphone showed her support in the new episodes simply because you don't like the ship(I understand why people wouldnt but thats not an excuse to deny her anything), and because Taco doesn't know how to change yet and you refuse to see her as anything redeemable. I'm not big on shipping, thats not the point of this tangent, but Taco finally having someone to support her and help her change is a GOOD thing. Microphone was being the bigger person there, she was being mature and thoughtful because Taco clearly needs the help. The fact that people continue to deny Taco any kind of growth even if she goes about it in the wrong way makes me deeply uncomfortable. Because the moment any character does anything bad that isn't HER they don't say anything about it. She was shunned by her peers because she was playing the game and continued to 'play the game' so to speak.

Theres a deep rooted hint of misogyny in the way they treat her, but I wont yap about that you dont need to read allat.

I understand people have reasons for not liking characters! That's ok. But I've seen them actively go out of their way to harass people that DO like Taco and actively criticize enjoying her character.

They tend to take it as defending her actions. Which is not what's happening. I don't think oscommunity could handle vriska is all I'm saying.

Feel free to not answer this I just need whatever little imp is telling me to scream about it to get out. go draw a taco dis is driving me crazy

Thank you for dumping this in my inbox bigbarf200, I feel like a wise confidant.

okay so I don't interact/observe with the wider ii community (Mainly cuz i like playing with my touys without being bothered) So this information is so Interesting to me!!!

As you mentioned, the hate might stem from misogyny (and by the way, I’d love to read your essay—talk all you want, my friend!). This is a societal issue that affects every part of life.

That said, I also think some people might dislike her simply because she’s a hustler and stubborn. When she has a goal, she’ll do whatever it takes to achieve it, even if it means crossing into morally gray areas.

holding Mepad hostage > hijacking the show

lying and deceiving objects with good intentions > winning s1

seriously hurting Fan > winning Mic immunity

as you said in the greater scheme of things, she's genuinely done horrible things. But if you just accept that at face value you are missing out on such an amazing character. You have to consider her perspective and the circumstances of her birth (especially in a story like ii!!) to fully understand and come to an option on her. But I digress this is baby level analysis so ill move on.

people who think Mic being friendly towards Taco post e14 is out of character are misunderstanding Microphone as both a character and thematic device I think

that's literally the only rational reason I could think of as to why people would be mad about taco and mic being on good terms???

so yeah, these haters just sound like crazy irrational people who have a lot of pent-up emotions. crazy

anyways ty!!! I feel like I didn't have alot to add since, as stated, these people are just incredibly irrational. but its nice getting an earful of whagh the fuck the community is like. here are soem taco drawings for the occasion

[artful-aries]

Saying ‘I Love You’ For The First Time (Kaveh, Dottore, Kaeya)

Kaveh:

He is the type to say he loves you pretty early on. It won’t be too soon, but it will fall quickly and naturally from his mouth once your relationship reaches a comfortable point.

He just doesn’t see the need to hold back and worry over words. If he loves you now, why would he keep that fact to himself?

You’ll be doing something simple, like cooking him a nice meal, or simply reading a book by the window with the light illuminating you like a halo, and he will tell you he loves you without a second thought

If you’re flustered about it, Kaveh will be a little confused but laugh at the sight of your flushed cheeks

“What, is it that much of a surprise that I love someone as wonderful as you?”

After the first time he tells you he loves you, Kaveh will never stop saying it to you. You could simply breathe air in his presence and he’s going to tell you how he loves the sound you make when you inhale, how he likes to watch the rise and fall of your chest, how he wants nothing more than to feel your breath fan his skin

Despite how cheesy his words are, or how frequent he blurts them out, they never feel fake or annoying. He’s just got that certain charm that allows him to speak from the heart and not seem like a creep when he does it

Even though he manages to say he loves you with relative ease, he wouldn’t necessarily expect the same from you, at least not immediately. He understands the weight of the words, and only wants you to say them unless you truly mean them

Though if you keep him waiting a long time for him to hear you say you love him, he’s going to feel a little insecure about it. Is he not good enough for you to love? Kaveh would keep these insecurities bottled up, not wanting to pressure you to say you love him

When you do finally tell him you love him, it’s like the Archons themselves came all at once to bless him. Kaveh’s got the biggest, dumbest smile on his face once he registers what you’ve said. He can’t help but pick you up in his arms and press kisses over every inch of skin you’ll allow

Whether it’s the first time or the fiftieth time you’ve said you love him, his reaction is always the same. He’s genuinely touched that you feel the same way, even though it’s very obvious that you do

Dottore:

To get this man to admit his feelings in general is a feat on par with the Archons, let alone feelings of affection and love. Be prepared to say you love him long before he ever returns the favor

For the longest time, he sees himself as above such irrational feelings. Love is simply a mix of chemical reactions within the brain, one’s that can be studied, criticized, and altered should he desire to poke around in enough brains to delve into the subject

It’s not until you tell him that you love him as he works late at night in his laboratory that he begins to mull over the concept more

Dottore does enjoy spending time with you, he enjoys watching how you react to your environment, to the stresses of your life, to his mere presence when he enters a room. It’s all so fascinating to him, and he never wants to stop studying you. But does all of this qualify as the feeling of ‘love’?

You can take the Doctor out of the Akademiya, but you can’t take the Akademiya out of the Doctor. He is going to do extensive research on the idea of love, and how that affects the brain and other bodily functions. He even goes as far as asking some of the other Harbingers for data (Almost all of them vehemently refuse to be part of his experiments by any means)

Once he feels like a sufficient amount of data has been conducted, he concludes that what he feels towards you is close enough to hypothesize as love, although his experiences do not wholly match the data. Still, it is the only emotion that seems to best describe his complete and utter fascination with you

After all of this research and studying, actually saying the words to you almost seems lackluster.

Dottore waits for the next time you tell him you love him, and he casually says it back as though he has always responded this way

He pretends he doesn’t notice, but your look of utter disbelief has him absolutely captivated. Had he known saying he loved you would elicit such an entertaining reaction from you, he would have said the words sooner

He doesn’t exactly get more affectionate after he tells you he loves you, and he doesn’t seem to bat an eyelash when you tell him you love him; however, he does keep a log for how many times you tell him you love him over a set period of time, and he tries to match that frequency

It might come across as a little creepy, but in order to maintain this ‘love’, Dottore theorizes there should be an equal balance in this regard. If you fell out of love with him, observing you and your day to day life would become much harder

Kaeya:

This Casanova is not going to say he loves you very easily. Will he tell you he thinks you look like an angel? Of course. Will he flirt ceaselessly with you until you turn into a blushing mess around him? Without question. But saying he loves you? It’s a daunting task, even for the fearless Cavalry Captain

He’s got the burning desire to tell you he loves you at a decent point in the relationship, but when push comes to shove he always finds a way to chicken out of it

Part of him is terrified that you won’t feel the same, the other part of him is scared of what loving you truly means. Kaeya would be giving his heart to you with that confession, which gives you the power to break his heart, whether you intentionally do it or not

He takes the approach of completely avoiding the problem altogether, telling himself there is always tomorrow

It’s not until you say the words first that Kaeya realize he doesn’t have forever to sort out his feelings, that he has to get over his own fears and tell you what you deserve to know, or he might lose you forever

He will reciprocate saying he loves you right when you do it for the first time, so neither of you are left waiting on the other to respond.

Kaeya is quite frankly over the moon when you finally confess to him, but he will never tell you this. Even though he’s also admitting his love for you, he’s going to tease you relentlessly for confessing first

In reality, he’s only slightly upset that he didn’t get to confess to you first, but he will simply make up for it by never letting you go another day without him telling you he loves you at least once

If he’s in a flirty mood he can be a little dramatic about his love declarations, but more often than not he is soft and sincere when he says he loves you, making sure to whisper it in your ear so that only you can hear

[seawanter]

Hello! I’ve been making a game and wanted to make a character with npd to mix up the character dynamics. The thing is, as you probably know, npd is so stigmatized, which means it’s literally impossible for me to research. So, if possible, I would like to hear some of your experiences with npd (how it makes you think and behave, that type of thing). If you don’t want to answer, feel free to ignore this.

hi ! thanks for the ask !

i feel obligated to preface this by saying that due to multiple comorbidities, my particular npd subtype (I present with a shier, more "covert" subtype of npd, as opposed to the stereotypical, grandiose, "overt" subtype), and my general personality, my experience and presentation of npd is far different than many others'. additionally, i've only really started realizing and grappling with the fact that i experience these things somewhat recently, so my account may potentially be a bit underbaked. that being said, I hope my experiences are still helpful to you.

Despite popular conceptions, many (but not all) pwnpd actually have very low self-esteem. my self-worth is very often reliant on others' praise (though i very often find it hard to accept praise). The self-doubt and inadequacy i feel can completely overwhelm my thoughts and disrupt my life. i'm a huge perfectionist, with lofty ideals for myself, but i cannot ever find myself meeting my own standard, despite having a sometimes-inflated sense of accomplishment. I often procrastinate to the point of self-ruin due to fears of disappointment or judgement, and of not living up to my self-imposed standards. "i'm not the best, but i should be."

when i first encounter a person, my subconscious automatically tries to gauge where they are in relation to me. do they have inferior qualities, and perhaps deserve (friendly) teasing or disregard? or are they better than me in some way, or at least masquerading as such, and thus deserving of my contempt? it's very compensatory. i know, cognitively, that people are infinitely complex and can't be measured in this way, but my subconscious still always goes through these motions. i know that these feelings are irrational, and i internalize all of it. i often even feel guilt at having these thoughts, often feeling a need to punish myself for having them.

despite this, i don't hold anything against anyone i perceive as "inferior" in any way, unless they do something that icks me (spelling/grammar mistakes for example; i could never let something like that slide). in fact, i don't ever really view entire people as inferior; i am, or rather should be, better than everyone else, but that doesn't make others wholly inferior. they're just human, humans are imperfect. i actually really love people, and often find inferiority kinda... cute, almost, when it's not cringey.

i cannot relate whatsoever to others' accounts of being purposefully manipulative, vengeful, or as many put it, wanting to "get back at people" (i've been described by others as being very kind and sensitive, which, tbf, i don't understand at all either). i prefer just ignoring/blocking people i don't like, rather than making a big deal of it. if someone criticizes/wrongs me, i typically just redirect the anger back at myself, which... is problematic in its own right. part of it is, again, that i really love people and it's hard for me to be really, genuinely angry at someone else. another part of it is a belief that being mean, retaliatory, or vengeful is "beneath me." if someone slights me, i view it as either warranted or simply fueled by ignorance. i am much more likely to retaliate or get outwardly angry when someone else experiences injustice, though that might just be the autism (though, i will say, the feelings of selflessness can really fuel my ego).

in relationships, i can often come off as disregarding or entitled. i like my friends, i just have a hard time connecting and showing interest, especially as far as reaching out goes. i easily get bored hanging out with others, and often i just prefer to stay home and do my own thing, alone, unless the hangout includes an activity i like or a mentally stimulating conversation. social interactions can be hurtful at times, when i don't receive the amount of praise or attention that i feel i deserve (ironic, because i am a very shy/reserved person, and i don't even really like attention all that much. it's a lose/lose). i very often, and only sometimes intentionally, find myself ghosting people. i can "split" on people i love, randomly hating/feeling annoyed with them on a whim. my empathy fluctuates A LOT, partially also due to being autistic. i find it near impossible to show any amount of vulnerability when i'm not inebriated. i sometimes even feign vulnerability when it's expected of me. feeling "too known" is really frightening.

ik this is rly ramble-y and i hope that any of it is at all understandable lol. i got pretty self-indulgent here, as I found this to be a helpful introspection for myself as far as verbalizing how this all impacts me, so... thanks for that ig! i also hope that, despite my experiences being far from typical (again, a lot of what i mentioned is specific to covert npd), they are still helpful to you in some way. also, genuinely, thank you for asking real people for their real experiences on this. it really means a lot, especially when most of the content about pwnpd frames them as evil, manipulative, no-good monsters. thanks again for the ask, and i wish you luck ^^

[star-arcana]

In defense of Kieran from Pokémon Scarlet and Violet: The battle for Ogerpon!

Hello guys, and I am back to write a response to people who think that Kieran was nothing more but a whiny brat over the final parts of Teal Mask and that his overall character is unsympathetic! Here I am here to explain Kieran's mindset and why ultimately much of the criticisms are unfair, and why the final battle in Teal Mask(the first Story DLC of Scarlet and Violet) needs to be seen with more nuance, but first some history:

Why was Kieran so obsessed with Ogerpon

Ogerpon was a Pokémon he always admired; It was a strong, independent Pokémon able to defeat 3 other mons at once ( Okidogi, Munkidori and Fezandipiti) despite being outnumbered. He admired it for it's strenght and ability to stand on it's own feet, something he felt never was able to do in his life, as his older sister, Carmine, constantly smothers and protects him, much to his dismay. Ogerpon because of this is an idol and something he wants to be like, by his own admission; "I...wanna try to get stronger. So I can do things for myself, you know? I'm gonna become someone people can rely on. Then, just maybe...I could be that ogre's friend." From this we can see that his main goal is to become someone who can protect and help people, someone who can fight on his own and doesn't need to rely on anyone, and if he is ever to become a capable and strong person that people want to rely upon, Ogerpon would be his friend. Another facette is that he doesn't fear Ogerpon like the people of his town, as they think, per legend, that this monster killed the protectors of their town in a blind and sudden rage, weakening it by sapping it of it's 3 other mask and thus making the Ogre relent. Kieran however doesn't hold that view and even admits to have ventured to it's layer, only to have it not found Ogerpon and the only thing that scared him were the adults admonishing him for this. Because of what I mentioned, Kieran has a massive love for Ogerpon, it's a symbol of strenght to him and a friend he wants to make friends with. His love by this alone for Ogerpon is genuine and no one denies this fact about him that Ogerpon is a Pokémon he truly admired and loved; It was the mon that represented what he wanted to be like, and not the weakling he was, it was someone cool and badass, someone he wants to be friends with. This is why he was unwillingly to accept that Ogerpon favored the player over him, because he wanted to be the like the player, someone strong and capable enough to have people rely upon and thus was more worthy of Ogerpon than he is. The player is what Kieran wanted to be like and got what he wanted, which made him feel like a loser and someone who couldn't be strong and independent, something he wanted to be like.

2. How and why did he fail then?

His failure can be squarely blamed on the fact that he was just not as capable as the player when it comes to battling. He indeed wasn't better than them. Ogerpon's first sight of the player and Kieran was battling them, which did garner her attention, but ultimately the player peeked her interest the most. Another reason was that Carmine really did a numbers on Kieran's self esteem with her controlling and mean attitude towards others and especially towards Kieran, leaving him to feel weak and unreliable. Her constant attempts to keep him from harm led to her do with the player perhaps the most irrational and senselessly stupid thing in the entire story; Lie about the fact that she and the player met Ogerpon at the festival. Carmine's reason is at surface understandable; She doesn't want to make Kieran feel bad for missing out on Ogerpon, thus feeling left out, and doesn't want him to run after it...but this reasoning is bollocks, wanna know why? With Ogerpon being confirmed real, it will be a matter of time to find her, regardless of how much Carmine would attempt to keep the truth from him. The More she and the player tried to keep this away from him, the worse his reactions is going to be like, because despite Carmine's insistance on this being for the best, this ironically left him out on Ogerpon and made him feel like an outcast who was denied the one thing he wanted the most; Meet and be friends with Ogerpon. The second reason on not wanting to get hurt, as many theorize, is also really dumb,because Ogerpon showed no signs of aggressiveness and can be dealt with by the player, and Carmine and Kieran, if things to south, so it was not like as if there was anything to fear. This reasoning got then even worse as justification as time went one when it was revealed by Yukito, her and Kieran's grandfather, who knows more about Ogerpon than anyone, that it was the good guy in the story and that the Loyal 3 murdered it's partner and took away the masks from her. Despite him not wanting to tell him the truth, even he admitted that Kieran got the closest at finding the truth, due to being a highly sensitive boy who clearly can empathize and understand Pokémon well...but all of this would be of no use, because Kieran, who had listened to the whole conversation and was still after it being lied to by everyone, stole the mask and expressed his anger, only for Carmine to give the most insinsere and inauthentic apology of all time leading with "Sorry... I didn't mean to-". Anyone who makes such a apology isn't worth to be listened to, since that places blame on the hurt party for feeling betrayed and dismissing how they feel, especially when you just broke their trust with such a stupid lie. Kieran had every right to dismiss her and while the theft was wrong, he was still justified in his anger, hence the player later apologized, with Kieran apologizing for the theft too. Afterwards, Kieran and the others meet Ogerpon and he wanted to give it the mask, but Ogerpon didn't grew accustumed to him, and because of this, Kieran gave the mask to the player, who handed it over to Ogerpon...which ruined a perfect chance to bond with Ogerpon, as this allowed the player to earn Ogerpon's affection more, and had Kieran tried to reach out to her, and not felt he wasn't as capable as the player, he could have gotten closer to it. Then, instead of going after the Loyal 3, who once more took the masks, he went to the village and convince them that the whole story about the Ogre and the Loyal 3 was wrong, and Ogerpon was the innocent part here. This ultimately prevented him from impressing Ogerpon directly with his abilities in battle against the kidnappers, and thus the player is put under it's radar. Still, Ogerpon was thankful for Kieran for clearing it's name, and ultimately warmed up to him...but the player was the one Ogerpon liked better and we would be the one to capture it. Kieran, who wanted to show that he can be someone worthy of Ogerpon, has had it enough, and takes his final shot and challenges the player to battle for Ogerpon!

3. The battle for Ogerpon at Oni Mountain!!!

Kieran loved Ogerpon since forever and it was his dream to meet and befriend it, but do you remember what I said earlier what Kieran wanted to be like? Basically someone people could rely upon, being someone who is strong, and capable, and doesn't need to be pampered like how Carmine does it for him, someone who can be the hero of the story...and eventually befriend Ogerpon. That person is the player character however, not Kieran, and that eats his soul alive. He wanted to be like that, only for the player to come in, swooping through all battles with ease, and winning over Ogerpon with the very strenght he always sought. This made Kieran envious and jealous, and not without any reason; Nobody believes in him. Carmine and Yukito trusetd the truth about Ogerpon to the player over him, despite having it already intuited out. Ogerpon trusted the player more than Kieran, and ultimately even Kieran trusted the player over himself, because the player always bested him without helping Kieran to get up stronger than before, and instead pursue like him Ogerpon, and win, as the heroes of that story. Kieran, knowing fully well that this would be selfish of him, and understanding that this is against Ogerpon's wishes, insisted to battle the player anyway, despite having no faith in them winning this, only the faint hope that he would win and prove that he is the better trainer for Ogerpon, even if he knows it to be untrue, his own words:

"I know I'm bein' real selfish... But, <player>! Please! Let me battle you! I want to see which one of us should get to keep Ogerpon with them!""...I want to battle anyway." I know you're probably a better Trainer for Ogerpon, but I...I..." "I knew I couldn't win. But I just couldn't give up...""I'm sorry..."

This shows less of a person who doesn't get it, but more of a person who wants one final shot to prove himself and others wrong that he is not worthless, and indeed a trainer worthy of Ogerpon...but he isn't, and the trainer is just better than he is as a battler. The request to battle, while selfish, was Kieran's right as a trainer to show Ogerpon and us, who is the better trainer for this Pokémon, and we and Ogerpon accept it, as we like him as a friend, and want to give him a chance to show us what he got. In the end what this is all about is no diffrent than what any trainer wants, to capture Pokémon, no matter how bad the odds are, so in the end, I can't be too hard on him for this request, as he deserves this chance. Ultimately, had the writers wanted us to think that this was completely innacceptable, then Kieran would have been denied by us and Ogerpon and not given this match, but since we respect him and his abilities, we allow this challenge and maybe he could have proven us all wrong, and gotten Ogerpon, who grew to like him, and would have changed her stance on him. So in the end, his lack of skill and confidence doomed any chance to get Ogerpon, not simply his selfishness, because Ogerpon values a strong partner and that is not sorely tied to moral purity, hence Ogerpon wanted a fight afterwards with us to see, if we can be her partner. This whole battle with Kieran was a battle between trainers wanting to see who can capture a legendary, and while he lost, this should be respected as a match no diffrent from any other competition for Pokémon, thus I respect Kieran as battler and person, and say, he earned the right to challenge us. However the battle did have negative consequences, like Kieran becoming battle-hungry and obsessed with victory, and this will only be fixed, when something else happens!

4. Addendum, the solution to all of this! Afterwards, in the Indigo Disk 1, we meet Kieran as an hyperaggressive and joyless battler that wants to crush us after we destroyed his dreams and hopes, and wants to destroy us (metaphorically). We defeat him, but he doesn't snap out of this until we meet together Terapagos and captures it forcefully with his masterball and after terastalizing it, it went rogue, attacked and nearly unalived Kieran, if not for our Koraidon/Miraidon saving him. This made him feel now completely uselsss, and is now convinced that he cannot do anything for anyone, like he did in the Teal mask storyline, but we need his help, we rely on his, because he is the only strong enough to help us contain Terapagos, and he does, because now he realizes that he is strong enough to be this person he wanted to be; Someone people could depend upon...but he is still not THE MAIN HERO, but A HERO, and that is enough for him to work through his issues and move on in life. He then becomes our sole companion in the epilogue and helps us defeat Pechurant and afterwards remains our friend until, probably, the end of time. This goes to show that ultimately if you help to built up people, they will help you, if you don't do this, they seek to destroy you.

That is it, how did you find, tell me in the comments below!

[thesummerstorms]

WIP folder challenge: post something with Arsinoë and an NPC!

Okay, so one thing I really wanted to explore with Arsinoë is that one of the most pervasive things in her life is ambiguity. It's part of the reason she's Like That, but also why she tries so, so hard to come across as equanimous and accepting even when that's actually an irrational response.

If you can't understand why what happened to you happened then the only thing you have left is what you choose to do with it, and when your choices are exceedingly narrow, then they all matter.

It's also why she has such a hard time accepting that Viago gives a damn about her deep down. In the very early days of him being her mentor, he fit the same pattern and so when he did finally become more open about caring for her, Arsinoë couldn't or wouldn't see it.

Also why she tends to overcommit/take on more than she should while denying her own importance to whatever she's doing.

Two OCs I have specifically from her childhood:

Knight-Templar Veronica Gallard- One of the Templars who captured Arsinoë as a child

Antivan/Free Marches “border child”.

She and two other Templars captured Arsinoë. Speaking in Antivan despite the Templars with her only speaking Trade, she convinced Arsinoë not to fight by telling her that her caregivers' blood would be on her hands, as would their neighbors, if it came to a fight. Might have been genuine when she said it, but it was still a lot to tell an eight year old.

Arsinoë learned her first name because Gallard let her borrow a few terrible moralist novels and books of the Chant on their way to Ansburg that bore the name “Veronica Gallard” inside. However, Arsinoë only ever addressed her as “Knight-Templar Gallard” at the woman’s own insistence.

Gallard is the one who changed Arsinoë’s name to “Camille” when handing her over to the Knight-Commander of the Circle after mentioning that Arsinoë's mother was too well known.

The charitable version is that she didn't want Arsinoë to be a target because of her apostate outlaw mother.

The less charitable version is that she was removing Arsinoë from the bad influence of her Antivan roots/her apostate mother by giving her an Orlesian name common among Chantry sisters and genuinely thought this would help her be better.

The least charitable version is she thought Arsinoë's mother's network might actually have the means to find her even in the Free Marches and was attempting to hide her away from their possible rescue.

Filomena of Bastion- An apostate sympathizer who was one of Antiklea Zangari’s (Arsinoë's mother's) network and who ultimately turned Arsinoë over to the Templars

Arsinoë hasn't seen this woman since she was eight, but she still gets hung up on those possibilities despite accepting that she'll never know

Wife/Widow: Claudia of Bastion, also not a mage

Antiklea left Arsinoë with her for a month or so while "working", being left behind with strangers was a pretty normal pattern in Arsinoë's childhood

Filomena was a former lover of Antiklea’s and may still have held feelings

Not unkind, but generally unconcerned with Arsinoë beyond making sure she was fed, clothed, and out of the way.

Brother was a mage who was killed when they were children because he was too frightened to reign in his magic

Arsinoë doesn’t know why Filomena gave her up: to protect herself and Claudia, to protect just Claudia if Filomena had accepted her own fate, or because she feared worse things would happen to Arsinoë if they all resisted capture

Possibly Gallard gave her a similar talk as the one Arsinoë got

Filomena was executed by Chantry officials within days of Arsinoë’s capture

Arsinoë was very surprised when Gallard offered to let her spread Filomena’s ashes and asked if that meant Claudia was also dead. Gallard confirmed she wasn’t, but wouldn’t say more. 

As you can kinda guess... when Viago eventually picked her up and part of his way of showing he cared was by poisoning/punishing/criticizing her with the intent of making her stronger... it just kind of added to this pattern for her even when he was also openly protecting her and showing affection in other ways.

Thank you for the ask!

[trucygoose]

what's one thing you genuinely think you're really good at/what's one thing you feel smart while doing?

...puzzles

i thought about that for a while. puzzles 100% of the time but also explaining my criticisms on stuff i dont like to my irls who are my age sometimes or also having heated discussions with my mum trying to break down the irrational parts of her worldview

[ach-sss-no]

SH liveblog Ch8

First chapter & explanation | Previous chapter

I had then made up my mind that men were my natural enemies and that I must defend myself. Of course it is very different here, but who knows how long it will last? I wish I could think about things as you do; but I can't, after all I have gone through. - Anna Sewell, Black Beauty You people with hearts have something to guide you, and need never do wrong; but I have no heart, and so I must be very careful. - L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

After the I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream quote I was basically out of ideas, but epigraphs are fun and I didn't want to just drop it.

I scoured for these ones. I don't remember how I got to finding these two (what made me think of Black Beauty????), but I remember I decided I wanted them to be thematically similar by being in first-person.

I also considered quoting Stephen King's Misery (the bit where she eats the rat!) and rejected it partly for that reason.

I'm trying to engage with Gollum's real trauma and mistreatment, because it does happen in LOTR and it is psychologically interesting, but you can never make him into a suffering innocent because he's just not. That wouldn't be justice to the work or the character. So I have this 'I can't trust because I hurt bad :(' quote (from Ginger- a genuine tragic innocent, by the way, she's a horse, LOL) - and it's followed up by 'I have no heart, by the way.'

But there's extra connotations here to anyone familiar with the works:

Ginger bites (it's how she got her name. Ginger snaps.)

Ginger dies of starvation and overwork :( (spoilers for Black Beauty by Anna Sewell)

Ginger is a horse. Gollum just said he hates horses in the last chapter. Cinema sin counter go up

I quoted the Tin Man, and his 'thing' is that he DOES successfully develop empathy and kindness without a heart through intentional practice.

Ahhh and we're back in Sméagol's Pastville.

So, Shrodingerbinger's is divided into three parts; they're kind of divided into body-mind-spirit? Gollum heals physically, he heals emotionally and socially and then he reaches a place where he authentically seeks moral redemption. At the beginning of Part 2 he's feeling good physically and is now escaping into Minas Tirith to relationally and emotionally discover this new life he's found.

At the beginning of each part there's also a phase of his past and I was just going through them chronologically, but through serendipity they do kinda correlate with where he is in present day. Part 1 started with Baby Sméagol, who is a pathetic traumatized orphan who just needs physical care and patience. Not much can be expected from him because he's a baby. Part 2 is child and adolesecent Smeagol and his relationship with his village and family network. In part 2 present day, Smeagol's exploring the city and his new social network.

I stay away from the Found Family tag for reasons (I HAVE AN IRRATIONAL DISLIKE OF FADS EVEN WHEN THEY ARE GOOD THINGS IN AND OF THEMESELVES) but it probably would have fit here. Oh well.

When he did start to talk, his first word was 'Why'.

Jirt describes Sméagol as overridingly inquisitive.

"I don't know," Nettle would say, "and I don't know why I'm standing here explaining myself to you. Praps I'll ask you some riddles, Sméagol, my polliwog

Aha and we have another pet name which in future Eardwulf will also independently re-invent

For quite a long time, 'Why' was the only word he seemed to feel he needed. He would also use it to forestall criticism. Nettle would catch him about to do something he shouldn't, and he would stop and feign a ridiculous look of surprise. "Why?" he would ask.

Wow, he learned to be a manipulative liar early on.

The ''Why' and 'How' only stopped when he slept. He curled up like a kitten and dropped off for a few hours at a time and then he sat up and stared at her and started asking 'Why'.

This is how Gollum sleeps in canon. Curl up -> instant off -> he's staring at you suddenly

I did meticulous research for this fic. Not on Middle Earth's history or languages or anything like that, though, just on Gollum.

Nettle taught him to read and taught him the genealogies and all of the old stories she knew. After he learned to write he went through a phase where he walked around the village with his little slate, writing down things people did. He would come back in the evening and read it all off to her. "Aunt Petunia. Cheated Aunt Iris out of one penny. Saw her drop it and she didn't say nothing. Just picked it up. That was not nice. She picked it up before I could. Not nice at all." Nettle politely asked him to stop after the fifth day of this.

Sméagol wtf

He would also eat unripe berries, eggs from trees, and things off of the top of rubbish piles if he thought they were fresh enough- which was not unusual behavior for a growing boy that thought he was invincible to food poisoning, but a bit unseemly for one under the direct tutelage of the matriarch. (Although when he brought home eggs to share, she always accepted one.)

Smeagol's grandmother eating the eggs he steals IS ALSO CANON and NONE of this vital content was in the movies

"He wants to go away on an adventure," Sméagol barked. "I never heard anything so stupid! Goblins and robbers and monsters and who knows what else out there."

Ha! I forgot about the 'Sméagol is a confirmed homebody afraid of the wide world' shtick. It is here purely for purposes of irony.

"My parents thought they could leave. And where are they now, where are they? Not here."

I could have worded that better, I know 'not here' means 'dead' but it just sounds like they successfully left after intending to leave.

And he was meaner than anyone who might be teasing him, at that. But it seemed that this time he was correct about why he wasn't a favorite.

I think I'm trying to insinuate emotional abuse/neglect that Nettle doesn't realize she's inflicting. Of course you shouldn't write off your emotionally unstable orphaned grandchild as mean and useless. It. It won't help.

Meaner than he looked, too. And in a rough old world like this one, was that always such a bad thing?

Also it seems like she taught him to be a jerk to get ahead.

We're back to present day. Gollum assumes he can just find his way out of the city he was brought into unconscous.

He drew a deep, sharp breath, despite his desire not to make noise. A city ringed by walls! He turned, trembling, to look over his shoulder, and saw what he had not seen before, soaring over another wall far behind- the high tower. It must be Minas Anor, he thought. The Tower of the Sun. Anárion's city...

Shouldn't he already know that- *checks* no because the name is different now and Frodo used the new one. ok cool.

Gollum canonically knows about Minas Ithil/Morgul and would know about the twin city (by the original name)

In fact, this city and Minas Morgul had about the same faint, sick resemblance as the faint, sick resemblance between Pippin Took and Gollum.

I picked Pippin for the comparison because they share their insatiable curiosity and quasi-hobbit-nobility. Also because Pippin does a spot-on Gollum impression without even seeing or hearing the real thing. That wasn't in the movies either we were robbed.

(It was in the Bakshi version)

Gollum obligingly reflects on his dead family now that we know who they are! (It's supposedly triggered by realizing he's in a place he's heard stories about but c'mon. It's because I told you who his family is.)

Psychologically, what's meant to be happening here is that Gollum's been burying a lot of (very real and morally neutral) pain, with the Ring, and with other coping mechanisms such as Shelob (he walked with her 'away from light and regret') and his monster boogeyman persona. Ring = gone. Shelob = renounced. Monster boogeyman persona = slowly letting go of as more trouble than it's worth. So all of the pain those things were masking is beginning to come back, starting with the grief of outliving

ALL

of his relatives.

Next, Gollum discovers that Mordor is visible from the walls of Minas Tirith and we neatly transition from his past trauma to his recent trauma!

If the wall had been soft enough to yield to his nails he would have scored deep lines into it.

Well. OK. Anything is theoretically soft enough to have lines scored into it at any pressure. This is a clunker.

"What was that yelling?" Guards. Gollum hopped over the wall and scaled it as quietly as he could. He had been quick enough- he was not discovered, despite his outburst.

Aragorn's asked the guards to pretend not to see Gollum unless he's doing something they need to intervene in. But some of them probably genuinely don't see him slip past in this chapter.

Gollum does canonically go into screaming fits when he's supposed to be in stealth mode I'm not 100% sure how he's alive.

So- I think the Minas Tirith walls are PRETTY HIGH and Gollum's climbing them a little too easy but maybe for him it's the equivalent of a walk up a hill? I don't know. He's enjoying being out and about.

There is some genuine culture shock starting to happen! Gollum compares neat and orderly Minas Tirith to other places he's been where people did wherever they want and made a mess everywhere, and is flummoxed.

Teenagers walk past chattering about hobbits. They- oh come on, that's really coincidental. They're talking about Gollum. I could have probably made this better by including somethin that cues them (like Gollum himself!) (he is right here) (looking sketch). They might even have seen him and thought he was a normal hobbit and mobbed him like a celebrity and carried the conversation to 'did you see the Ringbearer's monster?' So this could have been an easy fix but I didn't think of it and I didn't fix it, oh well.

Gollum doesn't like his reputation so he steps out and says something awkward and leaves. Again, this would have worked better if they'd approached him, because he's shy and really shouldn't have initiated a conversation, just left in a panic. No rewrites to published fic! Not ever! This one bugs me particularly because I used it as an excerpt in the summary, though. Like a showcase. And it's logistically unsound. Uwaaa

What if one of the young Men told about having seen him? He considered this, and decided there was not much risk from it- first, they had not known what he was or that anyone should be told at all, so at the worst they would only say they met someone odd in the street. Perhaps the description they gave would be recognized, but by the time such a thing happened Gollum would be too far away for it to matter. He was already too far away to be easy to find. And they would not know whom to tell about him, and might not even be allowed to speak to that person if they did. Their kind had so many rules about who was allowed to speak to whom!

I'm enjoying the shift in prose to tactical, strategic Gollum. He's not always uhhh doing the best job but he's now analytically thinking about what he's doing and making more conscious choices than he was when he was in 'I was Reincarnated As An Invalid In A City Full Of Strange Giants???' mode.

Here's a cat. Gollum toys with eating it, but he's gone soft and decides to follow it instead.

Gollum made a quick tour of the outside of the structure, and found that all the windows were boarded, and so were the doors. An abandoned house- cities at war had many of them, yes. Such prize habitats were often already occupied when he found them. If a cat was making its home in this one, though, there was likely nothing any bigger than that inside, unless perhaps there was a human owner.

I should have been more specific, I meant owner of the cat, not the house. A squatter. Also 'human' isn't a canon-appropriate term. This whole chapter feels like it's not quite as well-edited as some others. I remember I had to abruptly move to a new house halfway through the posting schedule of this fic, and maybe this was when that happened?

*checks* Yeah actually this was posted the week I found out we were going to have to find a new house, I think. I was preoccupied. Oh well.

I did not use a beta reader.

Anyway. Violence! Gollum kills and eats a bunch of mice. The house is infested.

Feeling empathy with the cat, he feeds it part of his kill and then goes into a food coma in the wardrobe.

Gollum squinted into the darkness. He was lying tightly curled on his side. A ball of fur was tucked up against his back and it was purring. "Ach!" he said, startling the cat awake. "No. No, no, no!" He took the cat by the scruff of the neck, picked her up, set her outside of the cabinet and closed the door on her before she could either come back in or get angry and scratch him.

You're "supposed" to give progress checks on your character's arc every so often. Gollum is now at 'cuddly enough to feed a cat' but not 'cuddly enough to cuddle a cat'.

[heinzpilsner]

Tadadada! Here's the epilogue to my 'Overanalyzing beach Maiko' series.

Firstly, let's list some main conclusion theses:

1) Mai became interested in Zuko's problems after he directly mentioned his scar and his relationship with Ozai for the first time, so her final change of attitude does make some sense.

2) The basis for Zuko's irrational jealousy was Mai's annoyed facial expression after he criticized Ruon-Jian.

3) The context of Zuko's jealousy rampage actually leaves a loophole for not-possessive interpretation (yay).

4) Despite how badly Zuko screwed up, Mai somehow managed to screw up even more (yep, still sounds contr-intuitive).

5) Mai actually expresses herself all the time and her "childhood trauma" is a big bullshit.

6) Apart from his inner crisis, Zuko has to fix many problematic attitudes and personality settings before he'll become a decent romantic partner for anyone.

7) So does Mai.

Something like this.

And now, a bit of old good boring and inaccurate psychology lecture mistake correction.

I think that I misinterpreted Zuko's side of "bring me food" scene, actually. You see, I saw it as conscious submission in order to avoid conflict with Mai, but...

It actually looks more like Zuko genuinely didn't realize that Mai's demand was not okay. He wasn't exactly eager to please her*, but he also didn't see her attitude towards him as problematic.

(*Not catching Mai's "I'm hungry" initial hint is kind of an indicator of Zuko's cool-off towards her. I mean, acts of service is his typical way of showing affection, which makes his sudden cluelesness pretty notable.)

Basically, Mai and Zuko in this scene demonstrate opposite facets of locus of control problem. Simply put, they both believe that Zuko is responsible for something he really isn't - in this case, satisfying Mai's hunger.

Later, though, it's Zuko who believes Mai owes him something - namely, to give him affection and meet his emotional needs. In his head, he gives responsibility for his emotional well-being to Mai and scolds her when she "ignores her duty" by not being "passionate" enough.

(But while Mai doesn't owe Zuko anything formally, she made a mistake of severely underestimating Zuko's contribution into relationship and his real value for her. This resulted in her coldness and lack of gratitude in response to his affection, which is quite a big relationship screw-up.)

Okaaay, and with that part out of the way, it's time for my final personal reflections.

In general, I have no doubts I made lots of other mistakes during my analysis. I tried my best, but to dissect relationship conflicts correctly, you need to have good feeling of personal boundaries and empathy of your own. And... Well. It's not exactly my forte.

I compensate for some things with theoretical knowledge, but my mind is a mess, so... Yep.

I feel like I have to go and read more psychological theory after this.

Also, I kinda tried to do an entertainment out of this, and roasting format doesn't exactly mix good with being objective. So, yep. It seems I got some kind of useless Frankenstein monster in the end, lol.

And finally... Perhaps I had to make it clear much earlier, but...

I have nothing against Maiko shippers or Mai fans. Ta-da!

I'm sure they have a lot against me now though, pffft.

I realize what I wasn't exactly restrained in my roasting, so it's natural for you to dislike me. But my goal wasn't to tell you what your preferences are inadequate or something. I mean, I myself ship much more toxic problematic shit (and have a weak spot for all sorts of flawed characters). It isn't supposed to be about being rational. You like it, I don't, it's ok.

Dunno, maybe someone needed to hear this.

That's all, I guess. If you were reading this series - thanks for your attention. Despite everything, it was a rather interesting experience for me, and I hope you found something useful for yourself too.

I wonder what I should analyse next >:D

I ignore all notifications, but maybe I'll make an exception soon. Ta-da! What a cliffhanger.

[pear1escence]

My mother has this layer of patience when she’s around my sisters which completely dissipates when she’s around me. I genuinely can not make a single criticism on her or how she’s raising my sisters cause no matter how calmly I’m speaking there’s always ‘an aggressive tone’ I never thought I’d understand my father but Jesus fucking Christ I’d kill myself if I was married to someone so set on never taking responsibility for shit and being a victim no matter the situation. It hurts so badly to see her raise my sisters with so much patience and understanding, seeing her encouraging them to speak about their emotions, all these things that she never, ever did with me which I’m sure is part of why I’m so unable to function and deal with anxiety.

I cannot speak up about how I’m feeling or about something that’s bothering me because no matter what I say she reacts how she would towards a person being irrational, loud and aggressive. Completely stops talking to be and just graystones me and it makes me feel insane. I’d pay someone to just sit by and watch us arguing for them to tell me I’m not crazy or irrational cause it’s some of the most frustrating shit I’ve experienced

[broodwoof]

since idk how many blorbos i'm gonna do this for yet, i'm gonna start by just linking to the question post -> here <- and when i'm done i'll link all the posts to that :')

so for now... halcor brosca:

your Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor's opinion on Orlais?

indifferent, kinda? he never understood orzammar's high society, he sure doesn't understand orlais'.

are they skilled in The Grand Game?

lmao. hell no.

opinion on blood magic?

initially very wary, then more or less ambivalent. all magic is freaky, but he gets close with morrigan and realizes that she has control over her magic, so his opinion shifts substantially. he's also naturally inclined to question authority/conventional wisdom, so that is an aspect of this

attitude towards Andrastianism?

indifferent. it's a faith. he doesn't get it. some of its practitioners are assholes, some are nice, all of them are people.

attitude towards the Chantry?

early on: indifferent. as time progresses, though, he becomes more wary about it. he's... not Big on controlling sociocultural mechanisms in general.

attitude towards the Qun?

at first, very, very ignorant, with only fanciful stories to give any context. after meeting sten and hearing a bit more about the culture itself, his opinion becomes more grounded and more critical. overall, he's not a fan.

if they had to choose one person most important to them, who would that be?

rica and morrigan are pretty well tied, actually.

who do they hate the most, and do they have an arch-nemesis?

um… hm. he’s not really one for hate? the way he is, being casteless and all, he grew up expecting to get the short end of the stick, and he grew accustomed to that. I think he was very angry for a while growing up, but then that anger began to poison him and he worked - hard! for a long time! - on letting it go. now it’s like… are you going to be angry at the cliff because you fell down it? that’s kinda how he views things now. because of that, people being genuine, trustworthy, and kind freaks him out a bit. he keeps waiting for the betrayal. the point where keeping him in their good graces costs more than it’s worth. it’s part of why he gravitates towards morrigan - her anger and condemnation are open, obvious, transparent. so when it stops being directed at him, he actually trusts that.

that all said… probably leske. because that was a betrayal, a real betrayal, one that cut deep.

what is their love language? 

hm. don’t rly buy into love languages, but he’s pretty open with his feelings. less “i love you” and more “i think you’re glorious” all starry-eyed

are they good horse riders?

ehhhh… it takes a bit to get used to, but he gets there in the end!

what are their religious beliefs, if any?

none. if he prays - usually before a battle and out of desperation - it’s to the stone, although sometimes he casts a wider net “the maker, andraste, elven gods if you’re listening, whoever the qunari worship-” kinda thing

attitude towards Mabari?

okay so they are Big Dogs and he’s not used to dogs and they freaked him out at first!!!! but then he saved that mabari and now he loves them.

their thoughts on the Grey Warden order?

little opinion on it prior to joining; after joining, very “wtf, this is it?” because it should NOT have been just him and alistair for so long

who are they closest to from their family?

rica! 100%

preferred weapon of choice?

two daggers

do they get sentimental about their weapons or armour?

nope, although he appreciates having nice gear and he maintains it very well.

what were they like as a child?

angrier, bitter. tried hard to reach his mother. 

do they have any irrational fears?

falling into the sky is still sorta-kinda there. he prefers forests or mountainous areas; flat areas freak him out

are they afraid of death?

no

where would they like to be buried?

doesn’t think about it. probably doesn’t want to be buried at all though. burned, maybe.

what is their biggest regret?

not being able to help rica more. he feels like he abandoned her to run off with the grey wardens.

have they ever been to Tevinter?

nope

do they have, or want to have, children?

kieran is his son, although he hadn’t ever thought about having children before. he ends up wishing he could be a father to him, but of course morrigan goes her own way and he does not pursue her; he respects her choice, even if he disagrees with it. he thinks about kieran often, though

what languages can they speak?

common

what did they plan for their life to look like before the events of the game happened?

nothing good. surviving until he was killed.

do they get a happy ending?

not… really? he finds happiness, but it’s always fleeting. still, it matters.

[salstini]

so i told le bf about feeling a lack of reciprocity in our relationship (thanks Liz for the expression heheh), I really tried to be as kind and neutral in my message despite my anger at the time, just stating what I feel and what i would like without criticizing him and like giving him options and stuff.

he hasn’t responded yet and i kinda feel like he’ll still take it the wrong way, get defensive and not listen to what i said at all, but we’ll wait and see… part of me wants to resort to the quickest resolution method aka “saying i’m the one who was wrong for everything, letting my guilt overwhelm me, cry from the pain and promise i’ll learn to control my emotions”

but this time I’m just gonna try sitting with the discomfort and not tell myself I’m wrong for asking for reciprocity. i’m not guilty of anything, I didn’t do anything bad, maybe I’m not perfect and maybe i am a needy and selfish and dysfunctional but it doesn’t make me a bad person. at least that’s what I’m trying to tell myself as i resist the urge to send him sthg like “im sorry… sorry that i’m the way i am” which is how most of our conflicts have been resolved i feel LMAO

maybe if this doesn’t go well then we’ll have to break up because i can’t continue processing his emotions for him … like every time i bring sthg up and feel genuinely sad or sthg, he’s often defensive and expresses anger instead of comforting me or trying to understand me… i dont necessarily want to depend solely on him for emotional support but being met with anger everytime i express dissatisfaction (even in the nicest way) is just not it for me

Who knows maybe I am the irrational one and he’s right and i’m asking for too much, but still there must be some ways we can discuss it and find solutions together right? if he can’t give me what i need, which i get is not sthg i should expect of anyone (as in like, can’t expect ppl to cover my needs at all times), at least can he give me some patience, forgiveness, understanding? i know it’s hard being with me but still 😭

[sagevalleymusings]

You already know what people missed in Barbie, but I'm going to deep dive it anyway because these negative reviews are hilarious

Reading one-star reviews to the 2023 movie Barbie are genuinely hilarious. 

First and foremost, the male characters lacked any significant development. They were one-dimensional, bland, and existed primarily to either praise Barbie or act as obstacles for her to overcome. This reduction of male characters to supporting roles, devoid of any substance or complexity, was a disservice not only to the male characters themselves but also to the narrative as a whole.

Like, yes. That’s… that’s literally the point. You have correctly assessed the central criticism the movie is making about patriarchy. But you think it’s a bad thing because you haven’t realized it’s on purpose.

Mattel's CEO and corporate people started as a mockery of men having all the top positions in a company; as the movie goes, they're just there at the back of your mind, and it's an unpleasant experience because they did nothing after.

Like… yes! Mattel had to sign off on this movie. Their real-world attempts to control and influence the plot of Barbie would have been sitting as an unpleasant reminder in the back of the minds of the creators, even if they ultimately did nothing. The writers clearly responded to this pressure by just making it a part of the movie.

Overall, a movie that comes off strongly like the 2016 reboot of Ghostbusters; during which year, it was reviewed as being "stunning and brave" with the same misandry-esque storytelling (that time, replacing an all-male cast mind you).

This one is just funny. The rest of the review didn’t even seem that negative, and then there’s this, “I hated Ghostbusters specifically because it had women in it” dig that’s just… so telling on yourself.

More analysis after the cut. Stick around if you want to learn something ;-) 

I want to take a break from laughing at people with no understanding of subtlety and nuance to actually look at the film. I watched Barbie last night, and I thought it was great. There were a lot of relatable moments, as someone who grew up playing with dolls. The basic setting is that there is a world parallel to ours called Barbieland, which is essentially a kind of alternate dream universe, where beings in the universe are tied to and influenced by objects in the Real World. In theory, Barbieland cannot change without influence from the Real World, but if it does, it can have echoing ramifications in the Real World. That’s a setting you could do some interesting things with, and it does necessarily require some degree of surrealism. 

Surrealism was a post World War I art movement in Europe which sought to combine dreams and reality into something Andre Breton called a super reality. The irrational juxtaposition can be nonsensical, but is often used to attempt to heighten the real by contrasting it with the unreal. It is extremely relevant that it came out of Europe post “The Great War” because it is by nature a way to grapple with feelings which feel too great to express through realism. Much like Goya, when painting the Penninsular War, painted a Colossus trampling the countryside with no real acknowledgement of the harm being caused, surrealism taps into one’s feelings, to evoke the sense that the real causes, instead of simply portraying the real with accuracy. 

And I pause to explain this because Barbieland is a land of dreams. It is literally the surreal. By opening our movie with an unambiguously surreal portrayal of Victorian girls playing with baby dolls in an empty wasteland, then transitioning to the imagined Barbieland, our writers are sending a pointed message: nothing that happens in this movie should be taken literally.

That aside, the film’s scenario is disjointed, didactic, and literal. The duration of the movie is a series of speeches with every woke cliché.

Barbieland cannot be divorced from its origins. Rather than having been created organically, it was made - by men. While looking into the character/real person of Ruth Handler, I discovered that the name “Mattel” was created by combining the names of businessman Harold Mattson and Ruth’s husband Elliot. Ruth’s contributions are written out of history every time someone says “Mattel.”

Barbieland is ostensibly a matriarchy. Barbies are dolls made for girls, so the dolls are mostly girls. With the wave of second wave feminism, there was a desire to market to a more empowered type of girl. What does that look like to the men trying to come up with it? You give the dolls jobs. President Barbie, Nobel Prize Barbie, Construction Worker Barbie. Barbieland has all the trappings of a patriarchy, just with women in the gender of power instead of men. That may sound like it is therefore a matriarchy in that case, but in fact that’s not how that works. There have been real matriarchies in the world, and they don’t function the way that Barbieland functions. That Barbieland is a playhouse run by men with Barbies acting out their roles and Kens acting out the roles of women in an idyllic fantasy for the men creating them with the intent of producing a profit under patriarchal capitalism matters when analyzing this movie.

It's a long ramble about how matriarchy is perfect and patriarchy is stupid. I agree with the latter, but the execution is just awful. 

Having said that, Barbieland isn’t exactly a one-to-one to our world - it’s more like a “good old days” subversion of our world, with a specific focus on tradwife nostalgia. It’s reminiscent of 1950s “return to the home” propaganda post World War 2 - shows like Leave it to Beaver or I Love Lucy which re-emphasized to a generation of women that had been forced to enter the workforce that what they should be striving for was a husband and a home. 

In Barbieland, Kens can’t have jobs - they just stand around looking pretty, especially on the beach. Barbies have all the jobs. Also everyone owns their own homes. The aesthetic of friendly, white-washed suburbia is deeply ingrained in how everyone knows and likes their neighbors, even while 1990s multiculturalism bleeds in.  

now if we were sticking to an actual representation of Barbie Land we would also have a BEACH barbie just like we have Crystal Barbie and Ken or Great Shape Barbie and Ken or even Animal Lovin Barbie and Ken! This perception that Ken doesn’t have a REAL job is just untrue, in fact there is many Ken Careers including DOCTOR KEN!

There’s a point in the movie that I find is deeply profound actually. The Kens have taken over the Barbie dreamhouses, which prompts the question, “where do the Kens sleep?” Not only does Barbie not know, but the question is never answered. DO they sleep anywhere? 

I’m reminded of a real world parallel. Before women were allowed to work, where did they live? That might seem like a stupid question, because of course they lived somewhere, but the fact of the matter is that if you were not allowed to generate income, you could not afford a home. Girls lived with their fathers until they were married at which point they moved in with their husbands, because of course they had husbands by that point. Women didn’t have their own homes. Kens don’t have houses. In that context, the fact that Barbie continues to reject Ken to have a sleepover with other Barbies who all have their own homes takes on a much darker tone. Kens in Barbieland, much like women were in parts of the history of the Real World, are so subjugated in society that they literally don’t have access to food or shelter without relying on the other gender.

They even point out “oh where do the Kens sleep at? I have NO idea!” basically is saying they don’t have Kens contribute at all the Barbieland and all they are is dumb dressed up side pieces for the Barbies.

But I don’t think this metaphor of “patriarchy but the genders are swapped” is the only metaphor at play. After all, at some point, Barbie and Ken enter the Real World, and discover that the playacting they have been doing is literally a lie. In the Real World, patriarchy is the rule of law. Barbie is uncomfortable. Her playacting is called fascist. Meanwhile Ken is given access to any space he wants, even while having to realize that his experience - the way he was raised - means that he’s still missing critical components necessary to enter Real World patriarchy. He decides to bring patriarchy to the play world.

In our metaphor, it seems to me that this component of the movie is a direct criticism of radical feminism. The whole movie essentially speed runs the last sixty years of feminism. This also means that the metaphor becomes strained, as we maintain the plot through lines while changing the meaning, but I think it still functions well throughout. 

As the movie progresses, we reach the Kens want power in society movement, and they go way too far with it, choosing to place themselves in power with women being subjugated instead. There were separatists in second wave feminism that called for this move specifically, who argued that men were too violent to assume any position of power, and genuinely argued that a matriarchy should be instituted instead. 

I can see why someone experiencing power for the first time might believe this was the solution. Ken isn’t concerned about equality, not really. But he is concerned about the way his gender has been treated in this world, and he wants to bring other Kens out of their status as second class citizens. 

But Kendom isn’t better. Wanting to subjugate and oppress the people who were subjugating and oppressing you is an understandable reaction, and it’s the wrong one. The goal is equality, not retribution. 

Was Barbie's Director aiming at an anti men revenge film?  The film subjugated men; demeaning and objectifying them and labelling them as dumb and superfluous. They are so worth more than that and young men today struggle to find their place in a society trying to demonise them.

But by the end of the movie, the Kens haven’t gained equality. And in an extremely barbed line directed straight at the audience, our narrator says, “maybe one day they will be as represented on the Supreme Court as women are in the Real World.”

I do think it bears noting, though, that right now, in 2023, four out of the nine justices on the Supreme Court are women, which is just about fifty percent. We are achieving equality, we really are. The point isn’t that women have not achieved equality. The point is that that happened extremely slowly. There are four women on the Supreme Court today. Those four represent nearly 70% of the TOTAL number of women who have ever served on the Supreme Court. The first woman served on the Supreme Court 192 years into its existence.

I think there’s some relevant context here, then, that Barbieland, the imagined space created when playing with Barbies, has existed since 1959. Barbieland isn’t starting from nothing, since it is importing Real World values, but it has only existed for 64 years. If Barbieland operated on the same time scale that the United States did (which we know it doesn’t but let’s pretend) then men would see someone represented on the Barbieland Supreme Court in the Real World year of 2151.

In conclusion, "Barbie" is an unforgettable journey into a realm where men are vilified, female empowerment lacks subtlety, and any semblance of realism takes a backseat. 

There’s a lot more that I could say. There’s a lot more feelings I had about this movie. But I want to keep this to responding to the unintentionally hilarious critiques of this movie. It’s endlessly amusing to me that the primary critique of this movie seems over and over again to be “the movie accurately portrayed what it was trying to portray.”

The disconnect is one that I’ve seen in an increasing amount. Barbieland’s idyllic, “matriarchy is perfect” version is extremely bad. In the end, even the Barbies don’t want to return to that version of their world. Confronted with the degree to which they’d been subjugating their Kens up to this point, they now see at least in part how harmful that version was not only to the Kens, but to the Barbies too. 

But viewers can’t seem to understand that just because something is being portrayed on screen does not mean it is being condoned. 

Such an incredible steaming pile of liberal garbage that it almost seemed satirical. The supposed intention of the film was to empower women, but instead did nothing but tear down men. 

There’s one last thing I want to say before I sign off on this fun romp through Barbie’s one-star reviews, and it’s something I didn’t see very much critique of. 

Barbie is transgender. 

Barbie wanting to be human: A theme that starts with Barbie‘s interaction with an old lady and her observing other people. That motive disappears completely until the end, Barbie has no motivation to become human throughout the movie.

I think this is a metaphor that people just completely missed on. The only real critiques I saw on this part of the movie was that Barbie wanting to be human seemed like it came out of nowhere. And in some ways I’d agree that it was not as obvious as the rest of the movie was. But if you read that plot point through the lens of metaphor, it’s much more obvious.

Margot Robbie has gone on record saying that Barbie and Ken are sexless, and that therefore, they don’t really have sex drives. In a very literal way, Barbie’s existence highlights the difference between being socialized as a woman and being born as a female. But in Barbieland, there are no ‘women’ in any sense of the term. Barbie is not a human. She hasn’t been socialized the way human women have. Her gender literally isn’t ‘woman.’ It’s Barbie. And Barbies don’t have genitals. Midge was an embarrassment for Mattel in the Real World, and she’s also taboo in Barbieland, because she’s non-gender conforming to what that means for Barbies specifically. 

With that in mind, is it really true that this comes out of nowhere? I would argue no. In fact, I would argue it is the central conflict of the movie, because there is a specific gendered aspect of Stereotypical Barbie that she is not conforming to outside of Gloria’s influence. 

She doesn’t want to date Ken. They are dating, nominally, because that’s what Barbies and Kens do. But she won’t kiss him, and she won’t let him sleep over. And it’s made clear in the beginning scenes that this strain on their interactions existed before Gloria started imagining “Irrepressible Thoughts of Death Barbie.”

Barbie doesn’t want things to change. Perhaps that’s because she can only imagine a world where things change for the worse. Where she does let Ken sleep over. And there’s something deeply troubling to Barbie about that scenario. It simply isn’t part of the version of herself this Barbie wants to be. 

Barbies playact the real world. And an extremely common and expected aspect of the playacting is the relationships they have to Kens. And regardless of the fact that all Barbies and Kens are asexual because they literally don’t have sex drives, it does seem to be the case that there’s still a gendered aspect to Barbies and Kens that they both be heteroromantic. Ken certainly has feelings for Barbie. All of the Kens are seen exhibiting jealousy. None of the other Barbies are seen as unhappy in their interactions with Kens the way that Stereotypical Barbie is. 

She’s different. She can’t playact a relationship the way everyone else can. She needs it to be… real. So she becomes real. Ken does not come along, this was never about Ken.

But that process of becoming real, of becoming human… it does mean that her gender changes. It means her sex changes. Barbieland being surreal means that this can happen instantaneously, but I do think it’s intentional on the part of the writers that the very last page of feminism - after second wave feminism, after radical activism, after reactionary conservatism pushes radical activism to the fringes, after speedrunning the last 60 years of feminism, the very last form Barbie takes is queering the narrative. Barbie has a vagina now. And she’s very proud of it. And that’s feminist too actually. 

So yeah Barbie is transgender and Greta Gerwig said trans rights, and it’s extra funny that no one noticed because they were too busy being mad that the rest of the movie was effective storytelling actually.

[tuiyla]

btw, do you already dislike Xander? I'm kinda hoping you're going to start writing rants about how much he sucks lmao, but tbf his worst moments are yet to come. I also hope you'll end up hating another male character that most people love, much to my chagrin.

Alright! No more letting this ask sit. Anon, I hope you're around and doing well because we're finally gonna talk about Xander Harris.

I wanted to answer this at different points during my Buffy journey and now, towards the end of season 5, I have to say that... Xander's fine. I totally get where your hope comes from, my notorious Finn posts and all and though I'll get into aspects of Xander I dislike in a moment, I'm afraid I can't be the manhater you need on this occasion. From what I've seen though he's not that well-loved? In my limited experience anyway. So the Finn Hudson effect doesn't apply in that sense, either.

Where I would be frustrated with Xander in similar ways I am about Finn's ch is that sometimes he is framed in an annoying way. He never gets even just called out for lying to Buffy at the end of season 2 or acting like a major asshole in 3x02. All the Scoobies are coming at Buffy there, sure, but none with such vehemence and in such a self-righteous way. Self-righteous hypocrites really piss me off. Had I answered this at the start of season 3 I probably would have been much harsher on Xander than I'm gonna be now. His Angel hatred was so irrational and not worthy of an "I told you so" upon Angelus' turn and it's irritating how entitled he is to Buffy's decisions. Not to mention, I don't care if him sulking about Buffy's rejection is realistic teen boy behaviour, it's tedious and embarrassing. She made it clear that she was not interested and Xander was such an ass about it. His crush on Buffy was a pain to get through and frankly, I don't think Xander deserved either of the girls he's been with since. Cordelia most definitely not and I think Anya deserves better, too, because she's genuinely devoted whereas it really feels like Xander's with her just because it's convenient for him.

His latest really, really annoying moment was his Riley speech to Buffy but honestly I'm just so glad Riley's gone so I'm gonna swiftly move past that. Whatever, Xander tried helping Buffy and luckily she was too late to act on his advice. What stupid advice, anyway, as if Riley was one in a million. Hon, he was literally the 999,999 in a million.

And I said I wouldn't go hard on the guy, huh? Lmao well that was pretty much the list of my grievances. In general? Xander's... fine. He's not gonna be my favourite Scooby in any scenario, no way, but I think since mid-season 3 he's been a lot more tolerable and even enjoyable on occasion. He does feel sort of useless at times but that's acknowledged and a part of his journey so I appreciate that. I don't fully buy into him being the Heart of the group as that position is something that I hold precious, see Katara in ATLA. And no way Xander can even touch what someone like Katara represents within her group dynamic. But I also see that being the Heart is mostly about courage here, loyalty, and as much as he makes mistakes I gotta give Xander that.

Even in that interpretation I struggle with the guy because a) he does have these icky sexist moments that are just not funny and they're meant to be and b) he's not... that full of heart. I just think pettiness gets in the way too often and, compared to someone like Willow's flaws his are more annoying and in general, more. He's not quite the Nice Guy syndrome because he is general a genuinely good friend to Buffy and the others but I wish he wasn't such a teen boy. Or, if he was, cause ya know they unfortunately do exist, that he was framed just a little more critically. I get that that's too much to ask of Whedon's late 90s feminism but it would make Xander an easier character to vibe with. I mean, I'm guessing there must be a reason I had zero idea about his existence prior to watching the show but had a vague idea of most other Scoobies. I knew so many things about Willow and was aware of chs like Oz, Cordy and Tara, but I was half-expecting Xander to only last a season or two. Because surely, if he was there for the whole show I would have heard people talk about him already.

So, yeah, it might not sound like it because I more so talked about the negatives than positives but I don't hate Xander by any means. He's not frustrating enough to be loathed or ranted about but he's also not nearly engaging enough to be on the level of the other Scoobies. He has his moments, though, and more often than not I find myself enjoying Xander-centric episodes. Soooo... is that anything? I hope I don't disappoint but now that I'm at the end of season 5 maybe you can share more about your Xander thoughts, I'd be happy to listen.