#but this specific topic has been killing me since the game came out and with every new dev or writer that leaves im like hello???

[lelianaslefthand]

not to bring fandom wank over here from twitter but i just saw a tweet about bioware and dlcs that had a bunch of replies begging for veilguard dlcs... baby who's gonna write it?? trick weekes one person show??? be so serious with me rn

[starlight-eclipsed]

DPXDC Social Media AU

Fic below!

The video started, the camera focusing on the scene before it. A teenager’s bedroom was shown, decorated with posters of space and model rockets. It was deceptively normal, had it not been for fans pointing out that they weren’t labeled LexCorp, Wayne, or any of the other leading names in aerospace.

“Hey everyone!” The teen in question greeted, smiling at the camera as he waved. “Danny here! Sorry for the radio silence—two of my rogues decided to do a collaboration and kidnapped a bunch of people. My parents grounded me and took all my video games since I kinda trashed a bunch of their equipment saving them, so I finally had enough time to record this. Again, grabbing a smartphone from you guys’ dimension was absolutely the right call. Looking forward to when the ones here will get to that level and I can use mine in public.”

Sitting back in his seat, Danny waved his hands. Papers from around the room were pulled up in the air, showing a variety of news clippings, report cards, and event flyers from the last year. “Sweet, that worked! I know it’s been a year, but I’m still getting used to these powers. Anyway, today’s topic is: secret identities! Specifically how much they can suck sometimes.”

The papers drop as he spins in his chair and folds his arms.

“Okay, so I’m gonna start this by saying I only speak for myself. Your dimension has a ton of other heroes who have all kinds of perspectives on this kind of thing. It’s also not an invitation to start harassing your friends and coworkers if they pull any stunts like the ones I’m gonna talk about. Some people are just flaky, some have other things in their life going on that they don’t want to talk to you about. In the extremely unlikely chance that you’re right and the friend who keeps bailing on you is a vigilante, you should leave that shit alone. No matter how justified you are in getting upset that they don’t have the time for you, trying to expose them can kill not only them, but everyone they want to protect. Don’t do it.”

Clapping his hands Danny tilts his head to listen for something before continuing. “With that out of the way and my whole family leaving the house, let’s get to it. Going ghost!”

A flash of light marks the transformation, revealing Phantom at the end. He adjusts the camera so that he remains in frame as he now floats in his room.

“So if you’re new here, let me run through the basics. When I was fourteen, I died and came back wrong. No, I won’t go into the details—I don’t need any of you getting any ideas. I can appear as human, so me and my two best friends decided to keep it a secret from my parents, who are ghost hunters. The current arrangement is that I go out as Phantom to fight off aggressive ghosts when they attack, and the rest of time I try to lead a somewhat abnormal civilian life.”

“Onto the topic. Now, the main reason people keep their identity secret is so that their enemies can’t use it to hurt them. I…sorta do that? I mean I’d be in a lot of trouble if ghost hunters figured me out, and the government here kinda revoked my human rights so there’s that. But there’s no hiding from other ghosts. Not when we can sense each other. I’m just lucky for the anti-ghost hunter solidarity, it’s probably the only reason my rogues haven’t revealed my human identity to the world.”

He shivered dramatically.

“So, humans. People. Being a superpowered vigilante is all fun and games except when an attack happens during class. I don’t even ask to go to the bathroom anymore, the teachers gave up on stopping me,” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Don’t get me started on how many times I’ve gotten grounded or given extra detentions because I was busy stopping someone from torching a building or possessing someone to ruin their life in creative ways. I can’t just tell them why I wasn’t there, so I either have to act like an idiot who forgot that I have classes to attend or pretend like I was skipping on purpose. Which I was, but not like that, ya know?”

“Another thing! My grades have completely tanked. I used to be a straight A student, I needed to be if I wanted to be an astronaut. But no, I had to go and get myself killed, and now my biology is all messed up so I can’t even qualify for the physical if my grades were good enough. Which they aren’t, because now I spend most of my time brawling whatever ghost of the day. And like, sure. I could do my homework and study in the rest of the time I have that’s not spent sleeping. But that’s exhausting, and honestly I’d rather take the F than spend all my time working.”

He sighed, slumping down a bit in his chair.

“It just sucks. My sister is setting records on her exams, and I’m a few pity-grades away from being held back a year. At least now I can handle most of the regulars by myself, so I’m not dragging my friends down with me. They deserve better.”

Danny opened his mouth to continue, but was cut off by mist escaping his lungs. He groaned, using his telekinesis to put his room back in order (notably cramming his graded assignments behind his dresser) and reaching for the camera.

“That’s my cue. Here’s hoping I can handle whoever’s out there fast enough so I have time to get started on my book report. Over and out.”

The video ended there. For many, that would be the last they’d hear of what was speculated to be the best performance-style LARP series for a while. Fans would start analyzing the footage not in the comments section, which was disabled, but in a separate online forum.

However, there was one place, albeit less well known, that one Danny Phantom would respond in.

———

Anonymous said

its good to see yuo posting again, but you looked really stressed. are you ok?

phantompaining

lol no

—

metwise said

I completely agree with you on your recent video. Vigilante work is hard; I was lucky when I started out, and I still nearly died many times over. Don’t let your grades get to you, if your school system is anything like this world’s equivalent then it is based heavily on busywork. Next time you’re visiting this world, try looking into online schooling. There should be free resources online you can download and follow along at your own pace to supplement the classes you miss. So long as you score well on tests, you can make up for the homework grades.

phantompaining

oh ill have to look into that, sounds neat. not sure if ill get around to actually studying any of it, but its better than nothing. i cant wait for my earth to catch up with yours, online school sounds so much better

gottabeoakin

Ayo is that Red Robin? Why tf is he takin some kids larp so seriously

implusivefruit

bold words from the deathnote rp acc

—

phantompaining

shoutout to my rogues, who beat the shit out of me, dropped some new ghost lore, then backed me up in fighting an army of the undead

also mech suits hurt like hell how does skulker do it

beetletakethewheel

Mech suits shouldn’t hurt??

phantompaining

my parents’ one runs on lifeforce

anyway if i had a dollar for every time i woke up somewhere i didn’t pass out in these last few days i’d have enough money to buy a burger

killmetwise 

How much do your burgers cost

phantompaining

(:

—

phantompaining

when the hell did so many supers start following me where are you people coming from

superttk

‘why r there so many heroes’ says the hero on the hero site

01101001-01100011-01110101

its like the only anonymous platform left that doesnt suck

totallynotharleyquinn

Free entertainment <3

phantompaining

ok fair

phantompaining

wait a second

—

coalminesinger said

Hello Phantom! I just wanted to check in on you after your last few posts. Did you enjoy your weekend off?

phantompaining

nope lol, technus escaped and I used one of my parents inventions to split myself to try and relax while handling the ghost issue and just made more work for myself

metwise 

#on the plus side my house is now on the beach #just in time for summer

You live in the middle of town???

phantompaining

yea putting it back is gonna be a pain

—

phantompaining

ok this is gonna be a heavy one folks. like arkham asylum levels of shit. i just spent the last week with my family convinced i was going insane, and i need to vent

:readmore:

discowinginginging

That really really sucks, and I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

I went through a similar experience (only I was under the influence of a hallucinogenic drug that made me see, hear, and feel the villain in question, who wasn’t actually there). I was lucky enough to be on a team with someone who could read my mind and figure out what was happening, but if you can’t do that the next best thing is figuring out code words with anyone in the know. Obviously it’s not perfect, but some kind of word indicating that you feel like something is very wrong could save you a lot of trouble.

More under the cut.

:readmore:

phantompaining

…that could work? ill have to talk to my friends about it, but it sounds good

#thanks #still cant believe so many of yall are following this

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.233 thoughts

[The Heart Part 7]

(Topics: narrative analysis - presentation, character analysis - Fuuko/Sean/Andy, speculation, thematic analysis - the soul/self-determination)

I read this week's chapter just before work, and proceeded to spend my entire day just...letting it sink in

The revelation that Fuuko has had the Heart the entire time, the fact that Juiz nearly condemned L100 by ordering her death, the anxiety Andy must be feeling being told he has to rip out Fuuko's heart...

And what is "the greatest stroke of Unluck in history" going to be?? It can't be that the world is going to blow up, that's what they're trying to prevent. I once joked that they'd beat Sun by dropping the moon on him, but that'd still destroy the Earth. Basically, it can't just be a big stroke of Unluck, it needs to be something more....specific, more personalized to Sun

That was the whole point of Fuuko learning to enhance Unluck in the first place, to discover what would count as unlucky for God. I feel like we don't know enough about Sun or Luna in the first place to make that determination, at least not from the audience's perspective. Julia's experience might be useful in giving Fuuko a hint, or she might do what I said and bash Luna and Sun into each other to prompt the creation of L102 without either of the Gods present, though there's no telling if the world needs at least one of them to reset properly

Going by the beating that the Earth is taking, I'm thinking a L102 is more of a necessity than anything, but the question is how the Heart is going to help facilitate that. Shy of turning Fuuko into a God, I just can't form a good vision of how this fight's going to go

That's probably for the best, though. I like that even this far in, Tozuka's still keeping me guessing. In fact, I almost wish that Tozuka had leaned into that a bit more this week! Introducing the riddle and leaving the chapter on a cliffhanger of trying to figure it out would have been plenty dramatic, and given the audience the opportunity to really think it through

Easter Egg Hunt

The two hints that Tozuka gave us were that the Negator that holds the Heart is "the hardest to touch" and "the easiest to die." When I read that, my two thoughts were Untouchable and Unhealthy, as the former literally can't be touched and is susceptible to starvation, and the latter is frail and potentially contagious. In a broad sense, both of them match the exact wording quite well, and at least in Unhealthy's case would justify bringing Lucy back into the story

However, I feel like Tozuka wanted to give us the answer right away because it's just...kind of obvious, at least in hindsight. For one, touching Unluck is difficult (but not impossible like with Untouchable), and Unluck's user isn't safe from being caught in their own Unluck, so it would have been really easy to come to that conclusion quickly after the chapter came out

Secondly, Fuuko's the main character! It's way more dramatically impactful to have her be the one carrying the game-ending superweapon than to give it to the random little girl who last appeared a full three years ago now. Needing to rip the Heart out of Lucy's chest would be shocking and cruel, yes, but it'd also be an easier line to draw in the sand since she's just a child with next to no involvement or investment in the current battle

Fuuko, though, will insist on removing the Heart from her, as she has everything riding on the outcome of this battle and has always put her own survival below the needs of the mission. Fuuko can easily say no to killing a child, but when faced with the possibility of exchanging her own life so that everyone else may survive, then to it's a simple choice to make

And that's really what it comes down to: a choice. To use the Heart for the good of the many, or to ignore it for the good of the one and condemn everyone including that one. Whosoever is tasked with retrieving the Heart has to make the ultimate commitment to take the life of a dear friend and possibly give their own in the ensuing Unluck. It is an awful decision to be forced to make, reinforced by the target's willingness to comply

The world's cruelest ability within the world's kindest person

It's also appropriate that Fuuko is the wielder of the third Sacred Treasure since it allows her to complete the trifecta with the other two most central figures of the series

Rule of Three

In the previous Ragnarok, the other two Sacred Treasures were wielded by Juiz and Victor, with both of them being strong symbolic fits for their respective Treasures

Victor held Aegis, an indestructible shield, because his immortality made him an inexhaustible line of defense against God's onslaught. Just like Aegis, Victor's Undead would never yield to God's power no matter what

Juiz, meanwhile, wielded Rebellion, a blade raised in vengeance, a rejection of the injustices forced upon the Negators and all of humanity. With Julia's awakening to Unjustice, she became an unstoppable force tearing through God's defenses, just like Rebellion

If Victor/Andy's Undead is the Union's greatest defender and Juiz/Julia's Unjustice is the Union's greatest weapon, then Fuuko's Unluck is the Union's binding force, its very core. It's thanks to Fuuko's will, her spirit, that the Union was able to reach its ultimate form in this loop, a feat that Juiz never managed in 100 attempts

Fuuko's empathy, her refusal to compromise anyone's happiness no matter what, allowed her to reconcile with even her greatest enemies and form connections with everyone, resulting in each of them reaching their peaks as individuals and as a team. Fuuko is, now both literally and figuratively, the Union's beating heart

In fact, even the ability to find the Heart is a direct result of Fuuko's magnanimity, as the final clue was supplied by her former would-be murderer: Sean

The Prophecy

Whether Sean knows it from Remember or not, the fact that he was fated to kill Fuuko also means that he would have been the one responsible for condemning the world. Not only would Fuuko's death have resulted in L100 being a failure, but we now know that Sean would have made winning literally impossible because he would have removed the Heart from the game entirely

Sean giving Fuuko the hint she needed to solve the riddle speaks to how far his character his come; where originally killing Fuuko was a hasty decision made out of his vain desire for status and rank, he's now humbly acting in a supporting role to bolster Fuuko's chances of success

The irony of this, though, is that Sean has finally lived up to his original role. Though this time Sean's actions have paved the way for the world's salvation, by helping Fuuko figure out where the Heart is, he has once again killed her

I'm sure no one would blame him, but I can see him reaching that conclusion given the opportunity. At the very least, Tozuka almost certainly made sure to build up Sean's redemption so much specifically for this moment where his involvement in Fuuko's death could be reflected

Of course, no one actually expects Tozuka to kill off Fuuko, so Sean probably won't have to angst about it too long. The question, of course, is how Tozuka plans to save her

How're We Gonna Get Outta This One?!

Just after I started writing this review, @wickedsick pointed out that Fuuko actually has an artificial heart right now since Ruin stabbed her original heart. Since nothing particularly unlucky happened to Ruin aside from getting harmlessly sliced up a bit by Andy, presumably this would mean that Ruin is still holding onto "the greatest stroke of Unluck" and it simply hasn't successfully manifested yet due to the scope of what it must entail

I personally think this would be a fun idea, and would certainly give a great excuse for Ruin to come back and redeem himself, but in much the same way that it would have been underwhelming for Lucy to have the Heart, I think Ruin being the target of the Unluck would also be somewhat anticlimactic when we were promised that Andy would be its recipient for literally the entire series. Therefore, I think it's more likely that the Heart is either metaphysical or spiritual, tied to the user's soul and simply accessed through their heart

I've heard a bit of discussion here and there about what Andy is going to do, and of the speculation I've come across, I believe that the two most likely outcomes are both, as everything else in the series has been, going to be based on a reinterpretation of the Rules

Option 1, Andy is going to reinterpret what it means to "touch" the Heart, as he was once able to unconsciously touch Fuuko's soul with his own. This is the safer option, a little bland and simplistic, but easy enough to understand, and certainly with an air of romanticism to it

Option 2, Andy is going to find a way to externalize Undead. Considering that Julia just introduced the concept of soul connection a few weeks ago, I feel like it's likely that Andy will use that same technique to unify his soul with Fuuko's, making her a part of him and therefore Undead as well. This will likely not be a conscious decision, though, and instead will come about naturally from Andy's struggle with whether or not to remove the Heart in the first place

Obviously Andy doesn't want to kill Fuuko, he loves her. She's the one who made him enjoy life, who gave him hope for a future he thought he never had; his reason for living. If Fuuko were to die, Andy would have no reason to exist anymore, hence why her death in L100 was set to allow Victor to take over Andy's body. Therefore, Fuuko's death would, quite literally, mean death for Andy

And that just can't be

If Andy's existence is tied to another person, and he's literally not able to die, then it stands to reason that that person would be equally supported by Undead's Rule so as to ensure Andy never dies. I anticipate it will be when Andy comes to the conclusion that Fuuko is his life that their souls will join, allowing Andy to not only release the Ultimate Unluck, but potentially even allowing Fuuko unlimited uses of it by growing replacement Hearts each time one is used up

Maybe that'd be a little silly, and it probably won't go quite like that, but that's the sort of thing I could envision Tozuka doing for the sake of spectacle

Either way, since Andy is going to need to literally or metaphorically reach into Fuuko's chest, my greatest hope is that there will be a callback to the original Victor fight, where the cover was Fuuko reaching through Andy's scar to pull his soul back to the surface. A similar cover with Andy reaching through a heart-shaped hole would be pretty sick

Come to think of it, Fuuko having the Heart the whole time is pretty reminiscent of the reveal that Andy had Remember the whole time, isn't it?

Where Does the Soul Reside: In the Heart or in the Mind?

Perhaps I should wait until we know a little more about the nature of the Heart to muse on this topic, but the narrative parallel is so interesting that I can't help but get kind of obsessed over it

Andy once believed that life was defined by thought, "I think therefore I am," tying into his very existence being brought about by Victor's ego death through memory loss. We know from scientific characters like Nico that the soul can be used to store memories, so in a sense it is an extension of the brain

Remember is the Artifact that best exemplifies and validates this perspective, as it is used to revive the souls of Negators from past Loops specifically through their memories; their pasts, how they were nurtured

Fuuko is the one who taught Andy that life is defined by the soul, the emotional value one puts onto their own identity. Andy isn't alive because his blood is pumping or his brain is giving off waves, he's alive because is capable of having experiences and leaving an impact on the world. Who he is, how he is perceived by the people around him, these are what make him a living person

The Heart, though we don't know exactly what it actually does yet, is at the very least a crystallization of this idea, that the way Fuuko views Andy and the value she places on him as an important figure in her life is what will facilitate the Heart's great stroke of Unluck. Unluck is proportional to the affection the user feels for the recipient, the weight that they currently carry in the user's soul; their present, their very nature

Seal once questioned where the human core lies, and failed to seal Andy when he captured his heart, his gut, and every other piece he petulantly experimented upon. It's clear by now that the soul is the equivalent of a UMA's core, but we generally see souls emerging from the chest or heart, so it's reasonable to assume that the soul lies wherever the user believes it does. In Andy's case, his soul is spread throughout his body, as he could redistribute it to use Unluck more freely, but that doesn't mean that Seal wasn't onto something when he immediately targeted Andy's heart

I'll probably have a lot more to say about this once Tozuka expounds on it more (or I'll have nothing to say because it won't be relevant anymore), but as it stands, it seems that the answer to the age-old question of where the soul is housed is consistent with the rest of Undead Unluck: wherever you believe it to be

Honestly, the thing that floors me the most about Undead Unluck is how much mileage Tozuka has been able to wring from this concept and how well he's been able to overlap it with every other idea he's introduced. Rules, the soul, life and death, age, change, harm, truth, faith...the idea of self-determination has become such a powerful throughline connecting everything else that it's actually started to make other narratives look weaker by comparison, though I won't go into who I specifically have in mind as not tying their themes into their worlds to Tozuka's level

Even if Tozuka doesn't plan to talk about the Heart's relation to the soul any further, the fact that I was able to make that connection at all speaks to how much these themes permeate this series as a whole and how in-depth Tozuka has inspired me to think about them

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[lilunebriumplays]

Soooo, those Mindflayer eyes...

While I’ve been playing BG3 on and off since early access released, I’ve never really dove that deep into it until a few days ago, so I’m so sorry if this is already a heavily discussed topic in fandom! But one thing that’s always stuck out to me are the Mindflayers, specifically how they’re always described as having pale, milky eyes throughout the majority of DnD history;

[...] Their eyes, sheltered by brow ridges, were uniformly pale and devoid of pupils in addition to being bloated and featureless, similar to those of blind cave fish.

Yet Larian seems to have made a point of giving them actual humanoid eyes, complete with iris and pupils. Not only that, they feature it heavily on promotional artwork. Like compare the eyes of the game’s Mindflayer -

- with what up until recently has been the canon Mindflayer -

It’s a very clear and striking difference, almost complete polar opposite in that they went from bland and non-descript to piercing and radiant.

Now I kind of shrugged it off and was happy to just note it down as artistic liberty, until I started a new playthrough yesterday and realised there’s someone else in the game who has the same eyes as our Cthulhuian friends.

That someone is Raphael:

What’s more, after losing myself in the Larian forums for a bit, I stumbled upon this post from user Ulla G in a thread about the Absolute;

They describe how in earlier patches, whenever they got to the first dream scene where you can hear Daisy’s voice going “Where are you?” as you go to bed, they continuously got a glitch where they saw a wing tip hovering over their Tav, which they then linked to Raphael when they saw his true form in his introduction scene.

There’s also continuous references throughout the game itself that the tadpole inside your head seems to be altered, which made me almost feel the ! appear above my head when I got the “charmed in more ways than one”-line from Raphael when you choose to introduce yourself to him in camp -

Plus, there’s something odd going on with Daisy and the tadpole.

I always thought they were one and the same, but whenever Daisy seems to be getting close to getting Tav to give in to their seduction, there’s always a vivid recoil coming from somewhere inside, as well as a murderous lust for blood and barely suppressed violence in later scenes which is aimed directly at Daisy themselves.

Could it be that Daisy is not the manifestation of the tadpole, but instead represents an outside force that’s instead responsible for altering it?

Tinfoil Hat Time™

Are the Mindflayers we see in-game charmed? Are they under the influence of someone else?

There’s a common theme running throughout at least Early Access of people bearing loyalty to or at least doing the bidding of either a person or a force that’s in reality actually manipulating them - Lae’zel and Vlaakith, Astarion and Cazador, Wyll and Mizora, Shadowheart and the Sharr worshippers, the Druids and Kagha, the Goblins and the Absolute. Are the Mindflayers victims of this too?

The Absolute seems to be tied to The Three somehow, and considering Edowin and his siblings have clear instructions to find and kill any survivors of the Mindflayer crash, they don’t seem to be in cahoots.

The fact the Mindflayer ship was immediately attacked by devils when it came to Avernus seems to speak against Devil influence, despite the potential link to Raphael’s eyes and his seeming knowledge of what’s actually happening. Unless Raphael is also working for an outside force. Or unless he isn’t tied to the traditional Devils at all.

In the tutorial phase on the ship, if you manage to keep the Mindflayer alive while killing the devil Commander and all the other devilkin at the helm, you get a sweet sword the Mindflayer turns against you and says you’re no longer needed before he attempts to kill you, even though you still bear the tadpole. Does this mean the altered tadpole and Tav&Co’s untransformed state are completely separate from what the Mindflayers were originally intending to do? (Why kill Tav and the other tadpole-bearers in the first place, when they could be useful Thralls?)

Where does the Githyanki artefact fit into this?

How does the conflict between Sharr and Selûne play into it all?

Is there a connection to the constant references to Netheril? 

To the Weave, to the attempt on Mystra’s life and seat, orchestrated by Sharr 109 years ago? (potential interesting tidbit; if a devil dies outside of Baator, it takes them 99 years to regenerate)

I don’t even know where I’m going with all this, I just needed to blurt all my thoughts into words somewhere and get some facts straight, I guess. I haven’t been this excited to figure out a story in a while. I am so intrigued by every little snippet Larian throws our way, and I am so so so so so stoked for August 3rd to see how this will all play out~

[seethesunny]

Hi, lovely! Here’s some for the ask game. 🍓🥤🌻🪐

Hi friend, happy Saturday 🤲🏼❤ thank u lots for the ask! I always get bored haha

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

This is funny because I've always been a creative kid, so I would create my own stories inside my head and they eventually turned into some of the shows/books I liked- sometimes a mixture- and at the time I didn’t know that was called fanfiction! I have the vivid memory of snatching my mom's lavender Nokia cellphone to write in a notes app, that happened until I fell into the role-playing world for years and that only cemented my love for it, I fully got into writing seriously around five years since that but never posted, it was for that same group of friends only. So that's my backstory! I had given up on it for a number of reasons but I'm back in the fanfiction pit lol

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

Since I've been a tessjoel girlie from the beginning I'm pulling some of the hidden gems on FF dot net that some new fans may not know! These are all videogame tlou.

Starting with one of my favorite fics EVER (it is a habit to reread it monthly) written by Raff who is a legend and was a pioneer for them. This is an au that's technically canon compliant for the tone, a very straight-forward summary: Ellie is Tess and Joel's daughter, this is the little glimpses of how they raise her in the QZ:

@kokureno and I gush over this particular fic nonstop, college au with romcom elements, what's not to love?

This one is a curious case because while I read it previously, my mind was blown away when I finally read Dirt (also recommend it) then came back to it. Tess and Joel share a vulnerable moment and Tess realizes there is more to him than what she thought, pretty spot on character analysis:

This one is a Tess lives au AND a babyfic, and you know how hard it used to be to find babyfics for them specifically? Aside from signs (originally from FFnet), I wasn't that lucky and this was a blessing:

Someone said missing scene fic about a very necessary topic aka Joel and Ellie bringing up Tess during their journey? The old man HAS feelings??? Anyway, this is 100% canon to me:

This one is for those who are fans of Tess’s backstory in the old tlou storyline where she was the main antagonist/villain, which means she had a brother who was killed; in my heart this will always be her OG origin story honestly. Plus, Joel also opens up about his own loss:

Don't you love it when there's a recurring theme in your fic???? Tess and Joel's lives when they're running out of time, Tommy appears too, canon compliant:

Okay this one is on AO3 too, I get that, however I first found it here and anyway it has now been buried so! I'm showing it again. Tess's centered fic were a rarity so I know this one like the back of my hand, the most juicy gritty QZ life angst, it's also an origin story about her AND a character study, go wild:

Another one on AO3, but hear me out this IS them at their true core and a required reading for everyone to understand them and their dynamic perfectly, it's pretty sad and there's not much comfort but that's why it's so good. Also, the queen herself (amb) wrote it and this is my special dedication to her bc she cemented this Fandom alongside Raff and she's the best at pulling our heartstrings:

Those are some of my favs. I can't include every single one cause it would take me ages but there are so many more there that are worth a read. If you love them most at their ambiguous nature, the early fics filled the void and nurtured the mind.

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

A really talented artist around here who's outstanding at what she does, ily chica @betweentwoceremonials

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

Last year I had an awful infection and it took me a while to get rid of it, but I did some medical analysis a few weeks ago and now I'm fine 🥳

This spot is for the people I love and love me in return, I never take it for granted!

Not to get too pessimistic bc I try to keep it light but I never thought I would reach my 20s and yet- I'm still here, and I'm proud of myself for it

[self-ships-ahoy]

bed and smile for sig; and balloon and feather for ram!

Random self-ship ask game

:0 Yay I have two for each ship!!

Bed 🛏️ - Where does your f/o like to sleep? Are they conventional with a good schedule, or do they find damp corners to call their bed?

When you exist partly outside time and space, sleep can become an abstract concept........ That's what Sigma says anyway, but it's also the Tism. (Take it from me lol) That being said, he loves to be in a comfy bed with weighted blankets and fluffy pillows. The world is harsh and cruel and being imprisoned was harsh and cruel and he forgot what comfort felt like. It wasn't until Synthia discovered this and vouched for his accommodations that he got his comfy bed back.

Smile ☺️ - What about your f/o makes you smile every single time? Furthermore, what's something you do that makes your f/o smile every time?

Honestly? Seeing him smile first! I love seeing him have positive experiences, especially after all he's been through. I smile when he's unapologetically himself, when I hear his musings on the universe, he's just a big nerd and I love it.

I think he smiles when Synthia engages in a scientific conversation with him, and when she says his name. He smiles when he hears her laugh because the sound is unlike anything he's ever heard, it's almost angelic to him. 🥺

Balloon 🎈 - Does your f/o celebrate their birthday? Additionally, does your s/i or yourself celebrate yours? If so, what's the special day looking like?

Ramattra has...mixed feelings about his creation, and I'd say in canon he's going through a real existential crisis. But even before it got this bad, his "birthday" wasn't something he looked back on fondly or regarded because of his original purpose. It was a very complicated issue for him, cuz it was only his model that was built by Anubis specifically for war. It was a topic of discussion at the monastery more than once...

That being said, April has found ways to have some cause for celebration, while respecting his wishes about his creation date. For example, the day he came to the monastery, and of course Aurora's Awakening that gave the omnics sentience. That one's something everyone celebrates, and as April suggested, they can count that as his birthday if he wishes. The fact that she cares so much about celebrating who Ramattra is genuinely touches him.

Feather 🪶 - If you and your f/o were animals, which animals would you be and why?

Ants.

Just kidding. XD I hate to say, but I'd have to think about this one! When I think about this question with my other ships, the animals I choose have to mean something and make sense for our personalities, and it's not necessarily our favorites, Rama. X3

Off the top of my head (and because I'm a fish lover), I choose for Ramattra the Great White Shark. Fiercest predators in the seas, and their reputation precedes them. Only- their reputation as brutal, cold blooded killers isn't accurate (and not since Ramattra gained sentience)! They're a force to be reckoned with, but they're not seeking humans out to kill them; they're not even attracted by human blood. They're big and beautiful creatures with sharp senses and an unmistakable look, and they'll be fine to simply coexist with humanity, if humanity would just leave them alone...

April, I have no ideas for. Each one of my s/is exhibits my traits at different levels, and they're all just a little bit unique from my irl self. So they'd all get different animals, and I'll have to think more about what would best represent her.

[pinchraccoon]

Super Metroid Review

I got deep, deep down in Zebes recently and played Super Metroid!

In my two streams playing Super Metroid I found myself finding a lot that I really came to love about the game, and a fair bit that I found to be tedious, or had otherwise not aged incredibly well.

I like to praise before I ridicule though, so my positives with the game are as follows:

Super Metroid is a reasonably well polished romp through a well designed world that establishes a really really potent atmosphere through its run. It's influences in films like Alien as well as early 80s psychedelic Sci-Fi are shown very blatantly on it's sleeve, and despite not always being scary, it's always somewhat tense.

Super Metroid also sports really interesting movement tech as well, between shine sparks, numerous jump upgrades, a grappling hook, sprinting, and wall jumping, SM rarely gets old in how you navigate around an evolving world, and for most of the game's run you feel that the abilities you've earned have managed to grant you new access to large parts of that world.

By and large, Super Metroid's strengths are the strengths of the Metroidvania genre, specifically rewarding world progression and world design that facilities that same feeling. However, the failures of the genre are also the failures of Super Metroid.

SM is a game that I would be willing to equate to ACDC for rock music, in many ways, what is there and what has remained timeless is still good, but there are countless other aspects that have been improved upon and iterated on since that make it hard to return to.

Generally, Super Metroid keeps to what we know now as the formula for these games, because it and Symphony of the Night, pioneered the genre into the modern era, and all iteration on it has come from these two games. This makes SM feel almost dated in some ways.

Outside of generally feeling like there are more who have done better, I take issue with the notion of Meridia as a zone, as well as boss design through much of the game.

First, the area Meridia, which is more or less the last "major" area of the game, has a massive issue with attempting to make the player feel progression, not by lifting the player up, but by beating them down and then forcing them to return to their previous height. This is in the form first of the Gravity suit upgrade. Following this, they pull something similar in the area immediately following with an obscene amount of sand and falling sand, which is EASILY my least favorite interactable in the game.

Petty, I know, but it made me mad.

On the topic of boss design, I found that a few of the bosses were well done, and had a clear means by which to fight them, but a few I found to be somewhat predatory to your health bar, moreso than they would otherwise. Really my biggest issues are the lead up to the Mother Brain fight and the Ridley fight itself. I found that both of these instances just health tax you on countless things, and just kill you without a means to react.

Otherwise though, I get why this game is so beloved, it's a cultural thing, I get that, but was I in love with it? No, not quite, I had fun because I streamed it and was blessed with my community to get me through the parts that are annoying. I'd recommend that people try it out if they'd like, but go in knowing that it is a game fully from 29 years ago, and it ages in an expected way.

Also, if you can, wear a Zero Suit when you play it, it makes it more fun and you look cute.

[midnighttome]

Week 1

Hey!

Right now, I'm in a period of new beginnings. It feels strange because I'm not where fourteen year old me thought I would be, but I'm proud of where I am. I've grown and changed these past four years, and I'm proud to say that though I'm virtually unrecognizable from the Emo Trinity obsessed, Hot Topic tee wearing middle schooler I was a few years ago, I still feel like me. Just a little wiser.

Anyways, here are my current reads (There may be spoilers! You have been warned...)

The Folk of the Air by Holly Black

Where do I begin! After reading the first book, I knew I would have to finish the trilogy. While I have not read any of the separate short stories or spin offs, I did finish the main three books, and here are my thoughts

1. The Cruel Prince was pretty whimsical, and captured this specific Jim Henson/Labyrinth feeling that I feel like I haven’t found in many other books. I love how the main character, Jude Duarte has this specific emphasis on their brains along with their brawn, and not only beats their rivals through physical technique, but strategical as well.

2. The Wicked King was a pretty cool follow up to the first book. Though I think the plot was not as good as the first, it definitely makes up in the amount of drama placed throughout the book (which really enhanced the experience for me). It was the type of book to remind me that I don’t only read books for literary whatevers, but also for the emotional experience that the book would provide.

3. Queen of Nothing was a little goofy. Not in a bad way though, as I love books that are a little goofy. I found the whole thing where Jude could have come back to Faerie at any time to be a little too convenient, but honestly I thought it worked with the vibe of the story. This also goes for the part where Madoc’s punishment is to live in the mortal world, where (and I could have read this wrong) he can be a family with Oak and Oriana? When I read that, all I could think about was the fact that Madoc tried to stage a coup TWICE, with the second time INVOLVING OAK. If I were Jude, I’d be a little more protective, but it’s things like that that make me enjoy reading. I love having dumb takes.

The Caraval Series by Stephanie Garber

This is a series that took me a while to read because of how busy I’ve been, but every time I’ve returned to this world, I’ve remembered how much I love the series. Because of how scattered my commitment to reading this series has been, I’ll keep my comments brief.

I loved every twist and turn, and though a predicted a few (not easily, but through much debate with friends who have already read the series and some work after that), there were a few that came out of fucking nowhere. Looking back, I should have been able to predict some of the ending twists, but I still loved being pulled back and forth and spun around like I’m in a twist ending centrifuge. Also on the topic of Stephanie Garber…

I went to the Stephanie Garber Book Signing!

We got to the Barnes & Noble hosting the signing four hours early, and still ended up being way in the back of the “line” to get our books signed, which I didn’t mind because I would kill to have an excuse to hang out in a Barnes and Noble for over nine hours. And besides, my friends and I still got seats because though we were far down the line, the signing process had nothing to do with seating, and since we were some of the first people there, we got actual seats for the Q&A!

The Q&A was before the signing, and I almost passed out when Stephanie Garber answered my question! She gave great advice about world and character building, and I've been using it to work on my own stories (previews possibly coming soon :)!

As you can see, she played a game of Kiss or Kill: Villain Edition. Though I disagree with the final result (Anakin Skywalker for SURE should have won), I thought it was really fun. At the end of the Q&A portion, she gave out some beautiful A Curse For True Love art, and people started lining up in number order for the book signing. Once again, long story short, I was at the Barnes & Noble until around 10:00 PM waiting to get my book signed, but it was well worth it. And it's not like I was at the DMV, the wait was still great since I was in a Barnes & Noble >:)

Other Things I Did

I went to Walgreens to get some cool stuff

I waited for my Glossier package that never came (R.I.P. OG formula limited edition balm dot com)

Conclusion

Lip balm, book signings, fuzzy sweaters, and barrettes have me feeling very Autumn :)

[sporksaber]

A fic outline for an idea I had awhile ago:

I probably wont be writing this though I am considering it, so if anyone else wants to it's fair game just send me the link. If this has been done before then p l e a s e send me the link because I tried to find somthing similar and couldnt.

So internet friends to lovers with danny phantom batman cross over.

I'm using tim because I feel he makes most sense with the trope.

Some timeline things: danny becomes phantom at 15 instead of fourteen. Tim becomes robin at 14, 11 months after jason dies. I want jason to be in the main part of this fic, but the timeline would be messy with that, so here is what I'm going off of: He was dead for six months, resurrected by reality shifting shenanigans, thrown in the pit immidiently after, and then was red hood for a year before the full identity reveal to the batfam.

So danny was a very tech savvy kid with no supervision. As was tim. They meet on some server discussing the home solar system of a popular hero or a heroes published expierience on black holes or somthing like that where their interests intersect. They end up on a specific message board and then a group chat about that topic and later they eventually start talking privately.

Let's say they're 13 at the start with tim a few months older than danny. They grow very close over their shared interests, enjoying the other talk about their personal interests, and commiseration on their parents being neglectful. By the time (insert whatever event happens with his parents that leads to him becoming robin in this au) happens they are very close. They at this point are talking everyday, calling fairly often, and have video chatted. Tim was a bit hesitant talking about his new family but danny couldn't be happier for him.

Jason's reveal and danny becoming phantom line up one after the other (roughly 7 months after tim becomes robin, which is a number I totally didnt have to do physical math for). So tim starts messaging less, and then so does danny with the initial distraction of ghosts and becoming a ghost and a hero and then the existential crisis brought on by the giw and his parents wanting to kill him. By the time things with Jason die down and become more normal six months have past. Tim tries to get back into messaging him consistently after having not messaged at all in a month, but Danny is acting a bit different.

Tim couldn't place exactly why he felt that way and tried to write it off as the result of the time they spent not talking, but he could just feel somthing was wrong. Danny was always easily distracted, but he'd never dropped in and out of conversations like he was doing now, at least not without reasons. And then there was the fact that he was more closed off about his parents than he used to be. Danny eventually mentions giving up on his dream of being an astronaught and his plummeting grades and tim is distraught with the fact that he can't help him.

It was their final video (several months after getting back into messaging) call that solidified Tim's idea of what was happening. It was suggested several times before it actually happened as danny always avoided the idea or came up with an excuse why he couldn't. Tim didnt want to push but he desperately needed more clues and wouldnt cross the line into hacking the information.

Danny was much paler than before and he had deep dark circles under his eyes. The camera was kind of blurry, almost like he had messed with the focus or gotten one that was a lower quality than last time. Overall the call went the same as the ones prior, though danny was a bit jumpy. And then danny shivered violently. He looked scared as he made an excuse about having somthing he forgot to do and hung up.

Tim was feeling lost afterwards. To the point that bruce noticed and asked what was wrong. "I think my best friend is dying."

Danny meanwhile is also having a very not good time. In the nearly year since he became phantom so much had changed. At first it was fine, it seemed fun even. Then it became annoying as he realised school and ghost crime fighting while avoiding capture by your parents didnt mix. And then there was everything with vlad and the giw that made him realize he was screwed if any government entity ever found out his identity. And then the giw worked with his parents and he realized, "oh, haha, my parents could really kill me one of these days."

And then there was clockwork and the ancients and dan. Feeling really off anytime he leaves amity. Plasmius. The fact that he really had died. That even if he managed to fix his grades among all the ghost fighting he'd never pass the physical exam to achieve his dream. That he wasnt considered human anymore by either his parents or the government. The increased number of ghosts coming through the portal.

He hadn't realized how much he really missed tim until they started talking again, but it was hard to leave so much out when they used to share everything. When he finally gave in to the video call he was kind of terrified. Both in the "what if it's different now," and the "what if he notices," way. The first part wasnt needed, the call was great. He forgot how nice his voice was. He could've talked to him for hours, but then his ghost sense was set off. And it was somthing big.

For the first few weeks following the call danny tries. He doesn't want to lose touch with tim, but it becomes too much. Something is wrong and he's the only one who can fix it.

There's a huge issue with the giw still working with his parents for a stronger portal and vlad being vlad and occasionally popping by to shove his entire fist into everyone's pie and then leave again. Danny could believe that was his real obsession. Fisting pies.

Then danny learns that it's not just the portals strength causing everything, its him too. Apparently the ghost king's crown was passed through combat. And the core of the king draws other ectoplasmic entities towards them.

This ends with danny ghosting (haha) tim for several more months until he eventually destroyes both his parents and vlad's portals and all their research. And he couldnt stay in amity at that point, especially since vlad and his parents arent the only ones who know what he did. So he leaves. And with the new title of ghost king he's not core bound to amity anymore.

Danny eventually calls tim. Tim is both relieved and terrified. The call is kind of awkward at first, since they hadn't in awhile. But then danny says he's traveling a bit. "I was thinking of going through Gotham, I heard they have a wicked observatory."

Tim says he cant wait.

*****

That's it on my original fic idea. I wanted to tell it mostly through chatlogs and their calls. I have a lot of other ideas on Danny's time in Gotham though.

I havent gone back over this and theres probably be some small timeline shifting. I want danny to be 17 when he leaves.

But that's all for now.

[white-tulips]

mmm...... rambling about OMORI’s ending and why I personally dislike Sunny’s decision to tell his friends the truth (update now that I’ve finished typing this, it turned into way more than a ramble)

I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while, I’ve just been worried about explaining myself properly aha. sorry in advance if I don’t end up editing this at all

(also warning in advance that some stuff I talk about here is very personal to my real life)

I’ve always felt like the abrupt ending was a cop-out on OMOCAT’s part, because I personally dislike the lack of resolution. ultimately, having the game be left open-ended was really the only option because if OMOCAT even tried at writing a resolution, it probably would have been too messy; having Sunny admit that he killed Mari would crumble everything the climax of the game was building up (Sunny motivating himself by thinking about his friends cheering him on & the hope of forgiveness) and I honestly think that the general fandom depiction of post game- where the group is rightfully angry- is very telling of that. the other option would be to conclude it the positive way, continuing the positive thoughts Sunny had in the final dream sequence and ending the game with the group forgiving him. of course, the would be unrealistic imo, and I think OMOCAT knew this too, but they kind of wrote themselves into a hole

so the game has an open ending instead. fine. it’s not perfect, but it’s a logical decision, sure. it never sat right with me personally, but I accepted it and didn’t question it further

the thing I never took the time to question the writing decision of, until recently, was the thing that the ending was hinged on: Sunny telling the truth

for a long time, I never thought it was a bad thing. “that’s good for Sunny” was really my only opinion. but about a month or so ago, I came to a very sudden realization that Sunny doing that is actually extremely selfish, and there is no thought put into the lives of everyone else that this truth affects. (and it’s not like selfishness is a character trait that has never been shown before in Sunny, but I don’t think reading the ending this way was the intent)

I want to explain a very personal example from my own life to illustrate what led to this drastic shift in my thoughts. it may seem unrelated, but the final point ends up being the same so bear with me. warning for talk of animal death. if this topic is too uncomfortable, feel free to skip to where I say “[end of example]”

about two and a half months ago, towards the end of november, my dog passed away (of old age. he was 16, and a healthy little old man). despite his health being good, he of course had major tells of his age. he lost his hearing, most of his sight, he still had a little spring in his step while in the house but he didn’t have the energy to go on walks anymore. even so, he was ultimately fine and happy, just old

for the past 2 years, and especially most in the past year, my parents kept saying things like “he’s going to die soon” “don’t you think you should just put him down already?” they would say these things while laughing, and say “I’m serious!” when I would get upset. my mother in particular never liked my dog, and I won’t talk about specifics, but let’s just say that when we (me and my dog) still lived with my parents, my mother was very neglectful if I wasn’t around

now, about 6 or 7 months in advance I had plans to visit a couple of my long distance friends in mid-december. since it was planned so far ahead, the original plan was for me to have my dog stay with my parents so they could look after him while I was away (unfortunately, I don’t know anyone else irl that could have looked after him). at the time of planning, it all seemed fine, but as the date approached and my dog was 16 now and pretty frail, I got more and more worried.

my two very real fears were: either he would pass while I was gone, without me being there, or my parents would euthanize him behind my back. I was genuinely paranoid of the latter happening, my parents aren’t above doing something like that. (of course, he ended up passing two weeks before my leave date. as torn up as I was, I was relived that I got to spend his final days with him)

finally bringing this back to OMORI, about a month ago my friends and I were talking on call and the conversation turned into discussing and critiquing the game’s ending. I don’t remember the specifics of what were said, but I distinctly remember saying without even thinking: “that’s literally like if my parents would have actually euthanized my dog” and then I couldn’t stop relating it to that. we talked about how fucked up it would be, if my parents did that, and if I got home and they told me he passed away naturally. I would have been devastated, but I would grieve and eventually move on, especially since the possibility of him passing while I was gone was something I had been keeping in my mind already. then, we talked about if sometime down the line, maybe even years, after I had already come to terms with everything, if my parents were to come out of nowhere and say “oh, you know when your dog passed? sorry, but we actually euthanized him. it was really tearing us up to keep that secret, but we feel so much better having that out in the open!” it wouldn’t be right. I wouldn’t forgive them. ever. it’s a damn hypothetical but I still get furious to even think about it

[end of example]

ever since, I haven’t been able to view the ending of OMORI the same way. the idea of retraumatizing people about an event that they already have their own truth for, that they’ve come to terms with, is incredibly selfish to me and I hold it in contempt. sure, Sunny probably feels relieved to get that truth off his chest, but there isn’t any thought given to the consequences of his friends now having to hold this burden as well (aside from Omori saying “your friends will hate you when they find out the truth” but that scene is in and of itself framed as “intrusive thought you have to fight against” despite it Actually being a Legitimate thing grounded in reality. that is not what an intrusive thought is, and it isn’t how actual depression/other mental illness warps your brain into worrying about things that aren’t true. Sunny’s friends could very well hate him forever when he tells him the truth, and they have every right)

hell, the entire reason Basil took the fall for Sunny for years was to keep the truth from coming out because he knew what the repercussions would be, and yet there isn’t any discussion between the two at all about it. even though Basil didn’t commit the murder, his extra involvement makes this secret just as important to him. in my opinion it makes for more interesting fiction to have two characters needing to keep such a heavy secret, and I personally would have preferred to see Sunny and Basil having to face what they did knowing that they’re the only ones who can know and having to somehow find peace with themselves (I mean, that’s literally what Basil wanted but OMOCAT very pointedly ignored him for most of the game lol). like. Basil is supposed to be the deuteragonist here, even if he isn’t treated like it. they both deserve resolution from this

the entire reason the friend group fell apart in the first place is not because Sunny killed Mari, and it isn’t even because they all believed she had committed suicide. everything fell apart because of lack of communication. Sunny doesn’t need to tell the truth for everyone to heal, there just needs to be a better mutual understanding between them. we even get to see the glimpse of this during the final day where Sunny, Kel, Hero and Aubrey are just hanging out and trying to talk to each other and to hang out casually for once. that’s what Basil meant when he said “maybe one day, things can go back to the way they were before.” there doesn’t need to be any truth exposing, they all just need to actually be there for each other if they want to continue being friends

Kel, Hero, and Aubrey have believed for four years that Mari committed suicide. of course it’s still painful to have a friend pass this way, but this is the truth they’ve known and have grieved with and have moved on with. they don’t need to have this wound opened up again, to have to reprocess everything again, especially with the added weight of murder being involved

to give another example, one of my favorite video games is Danganronpa V3. I specifically love this game (esp above other DR games) because I adore it’s main theme: truth vs. lies, and the idea that sometimes it is better to live believing in a kind lie than an ugly truth. in OMORI’s case, I genuinely think it would have been a better decision to avoid having Sunny expose what actually happened. it would really be better for everyone involved if Kel, Hero, and Aubrey move on with their lives continuing to believe what they already know to be true

.... I don’t really have a conclusion to this post, but thank you if you read all of it.

[tom-holland-parker]

Secrets

Summary: Tom is terrified about you finding out his job but when he brings you to his house he has no choice but to tell you

Pairing: Mob!tom x reader

Warning: SMALL mention of murder but nothing bad

Word count: 2374

Masterlist

"This is your house" you said in shock as Tom helped you out of the car. It was the largest house you'd ever seen and it was crazy to think that it belonged to the man you're dating. He chuckled grabbing your hand as he guided you through the front door, "it one of my houses"

You rolled your eyes looking around the fancy living room. You kept your hands to yourself, afraid that you would break something that cost more than you could imagine. "You're telling me that we've been spending weekends in my tiny studio apartment when you have a living room that size of my building"

Tom smiled watching you explore every part of the large room. "I like your small apartment. It's very cute" You stared at him with suspicious eyes, "what exactly did you say you do for a living?" 

He took a deep breath trying to remain calm as he remembered the lie he told you, "I'm CEO of a waste management company". It wasn't a complete lie, if you changed waste to people and management to murder. The truth is that Tom was too afraid to tell you that he ran one of the largest mobs in London. He was afraid you'd react badly and never want to see him again. Even though he’d only been dating you for 7 months he was completely whipped and would do anything for you.  Lying was his way of protecting you and buying time so he could find the right way to tell you what he does for a living.

You tilted your head in confusion but didn't push for detail. Instead you nodded and grabbed his hand, "so am I going to get the grand tour or are we spending the whole day in your living room". He smiled, guiding you into the other rooms. 

///

“And this is the library” Tom said as he opened the door to the large room covered floor to ceiling in bookshelves. You looked around, fascinated by all the books in the room. “Don’t get too excited, they're all history and law books” Tom said, chuckling as you sighed in disappointment. 

“You have a library in your house and you decide to fill it with boring books” You crossed your arms, “I’m convinced you’re a psychopath”. He chuckled as he stood in front of you, grabbing your chin to gently push your head up. He placed a kiss on your forehead before sighing, “I’ll clear off an entire bookshelf so you can put whatever books you want” 

“Well there's the classics, ” You began to list off all the books you could think of, “oh and there obviously-”

“Boss we got a problem” You were interrupted by a tall muscular man. Tom’s lips went thin and his jaw tightened, it didn’t take a genius to show he was annoyed. You stared in confusion but remained quiet. “Deal with it” Tom said, you flinched at the violence in his voice, “I don’t want to be bothered unless it’s an emergency” 

The man nodded his head leaving the room silently. “Your workers just hang around your house?” You questioned as Tom’s face softened again. He chuckled nervously, “I prefer to have them close to me in case anything goes wrong” 

“Interesting tactic” You joked, “It must be fun to be your employee”. He shrugged, “They still find ways to annoy me”

“But it’s waste management, how hard is it to keep track of garbage?” You asked. He laughed in amusement, as if you were telling a joke, “You’d be surprised”

“Seriously though all you have to do is pick up that trash and-” Tom interrupted holding his finger to your lips. “Enough about my job, it’s for me to worry about” He bopped your nose gently before smiling, “How’d you like to see the green house?” 

You gasped, “Why wasn’t that the first thing you showed me? Let’s go”. Tom sighed in relief, happy that you stopped asking questions, “This way Love” 

He grabbed your hand guiding you out the library to the stairs, “No one ever really uses it because no one here gardens” He explained as you got closer to the backyard, “But I saw all those plants in your apartment and figured you could find some use for it” 

It was a complete lie actually. Tom had seen the way you covered your apartment with various plants, he loved the way you took care of them as if they were real children. When he returned home that night he bought a greenhouse for his backyard, knowing that it would be a place that can make you happy whenever you came to his house. 

“This is so cool” Your eyes lit up as you walked in, hands grazing along the tables and large piles of dirt bags. You were mentally mapping out where you were going to put different plants when you heard a knock on the glass door. Another man, still tall but this time less muscular, entered whispering to Tom. You watched as Tom's eyes filled with a mixture of anger and annoyance. The man quickly left as Tom turned to you, "Darling I'm sorry I have business to handle real quick, how about you go to the living room and pick a movie for us to watch and I'll get to you as soon as possible" 

Your eyes widened nervously, "you're leaving me in the house alone?"

He chuckled grabbing your hands to lead you out the greenhouse. "No I'll be in my office in the west wing" he pointed towards the tall man from before who stood waiting outside the door, "if you need me for any reason just tell Charlie and he'll get me right away" 

You nodded your head as Tom let go of your hand, "Charlie will take you back to the living room, I'll be done as soon as possible". Tom quickly kissed your forehead before walking back into the house. You turned to Charlie, giving him an awkward smile as he began walking you to the living room. 

After an hour of sitting on the couch and staring at the television you started to get bored. You couldn't stop the little voice inside your head telling you to start exploring the house. You sighed, turning off the TV. Charlie, who had remained silent the entire time, stared at you in confusion trying to figure out exactly what you were going to do. "Where's Tom's office?" You asked, standing up from the couch. Charlie stood silent for a moment before taking a deep breath, "do you need him?"

You shook your head, "No but I'm bored and since you're not going to talk to me I might as well find something to do?"

"As much as I'd love to help you" he said sarcastically, "Tom gave me specific instructions to make sure you don't wander off"  

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms, throwing yourself back on the couch as you tried to think of a way past him. You knew trying to physically overpower him wouldn't work. Trying to seduce him was useless because you sucked at flirting, something Tom loved about you. You smiled, decided to do the only thing you knew best, catch them off guard. 

"Can we at least play a game or something. I'm sure there's playing cards around here somewhere" you said looking around the room for the deck of cards. You remembered Tom telling you how he hosted poker night every Friday with his brothers. Charlie sighed grabbing the pack from the poker set on top of the large mantle. 

You took them from his hand motioning for him to sit on the floor in front of the coffee table as you shuffled and divided the cards. "Have you ever played spit?" You asked setting the game up

He shrugged, "I've played a game or two" 

"Great get ready to lose" you joked as you grabbed your cards and started the game. It only took 4 rounds for Charlie to start getting comfortable and if you weren't set on finding Tom you would've played this game with him all day. "Where's the bathroom?" You asked as he shuffled the cards for another around. He pointed towards the hallway not giving much thought about it, "its down the hall to your left. Gold doorknob"

You nodded getting up from the table and walking out the room. As quietly as you could you walked up the stairs. You didn't know exactly where Tom's office was located but you knew that the Library was in the West wing so it had to be close by. 

You slowed your pace once you reached the library doors, listening for any sort of noise that would point out the office. It didn't take long for you to hear a muffled voice shouting. You took a deep breath following the voice to the door at the end of the hall. The shouts were louder but you could tell it wasn't Tom's voice. 

You hesitantly placed your ear on the door listening for some sort of context. "This is the second time him and his gang have done this. I want him dead" the voice shouted. You imagine it belonged to a stressed middle aged man and laughed at the idea of the man's face turning red with anger. 

"You can't just kill him. You still have deals with him that need to end first" You heard Tom's surprisingly calm voice. It shocked you how nonchalant he was about the topic of murder. The man began to shout again but you were distracted by the large hand that grasped your shoulder. You turned slowly not surprised to see Charlie standing in front of you, his face disappointed. "You must want me to get fired" he whispered 

You smiled at him as your hand grabbed the doorknob. He moved to grasp your wrist but wasn't quick enough. The door was open and you both were stumbling in the large room. You watched as all eyes turned to you and Charlie, everyone clearly confused by your entrance. Well everyone but Tom, who had a mixture of worry and anger on his face.

It was that very moment that Tom knew he wouldn't be able to hide this from you. He watched as you looked around the room, embarrassment taking over your body, obviously unaware of what was being discussed. 

"I'm sorry" you said, your voice was small and you could feel your face heating up in embarrassment. Tom sighed, looking like he was having a small moral debate with himself. He lifted his hand motioning for you to come over. You slowly walked past the others in the room who were still staring at you in confusion. 

Tom pat his lap, signaling for you to sit. You did as you were told feeling more confident now that his arm was wrapped around your waist. "Listen Jimmy, it's not going to happen until you close all business ends with him. End of story now get out" Tom demanded. 

The man, who was actually younger than you'd imagined, sighed in acceptance and he nodded his head and quickly left with two men trailing behind him. "I'll deal with you later Charlie get out" Tom said with a tired voice as he rubbed his eyes.

You stared at him awkwardly not sure if you wanted to bring up the conversation you overheard. "Wandering around a large house like this can be dangerous" Tom said as he stared at you.

You bit your lip nervously not sure how to respond, "I'm sorry" you whispered staring tm down at the chain around him neck, "don't be mad at Charlie its not his fault"

"I'm not mad" Tom's fingers fiddled with the hem of your dress, "just happy you're safe". You chuckled, "you say that like there was some sort of danger in the house"

His lips went thin as he let out a deep breath. He looked at you, one hand rubbing you back the other gripping your chin, pulling you closer to him as he gave you a kiss. "I have to tell you something" 

"What's wrong?" He bit his lip nervously, "I've been lying about my job. I'm the leader of the biggest mafia in London" 

Your body froze with shock, not sure how to respond to that. "Um" you hesitated, "like Scarface?" He couldn't hide the smile forming on his face, he found your obliviousness adorable, "yes just like Scarface" 

You knew that the reasonable response would've been to run away and never speak to Tom again, but some part of you knew that Tom was still the man you loved no matter what he did. You just had to accept that you loved a dangerous and powerful man. You sighed, "well if we're telling secrets I'm a hard core criminal"

Tom stared at you in confusion, "what?" You chuckled, "yeah in high school I went through a hardcore shoplifting stage I can pretty much steal anything” You smiled as Tom’s laughter filled the room. “But seriously I don’t get why you lied, Mafia boss sounds kinda hot” 

“Sounds hot until you're dead because someone doesn’t like you” He said as he absentmindedly drew traced shapes on your thigh with his fingers. You rolled your eyes, “Don’t try and scare me away because it’s not gonna work”

“I’m just saying I don’t want you to get into something you regret” He whispered. You sighed, “Tom will it calm you down if I told you I love you and I’m not going anywhere?” His eyes shot towards you, shock filling them. 

“Are you serious?” He asked. You chuckled, “yes now say it back before I start overthinking”. He let out a deep breath, moving you so you straddle his legs, “I love you” he whispered as he kissed your neck, “I love you so much”

“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” You joked as your hips grinded against his. He paused reaching down to pull out the handgun from his waist, you laughed as he placed it on the table, “oh a gun” 

[writingssummit]

Hi I just read you’re tsukishima story and it was so cute omg but I have an idea

Let’s say y/n has a huge crush on tsukishima since they were children right. But tsukishima never rlly liked y/n in that way. So he would always like be kinda aggressive but like not in the physical way, like he would be cold to her whenever y/n would constantly say something abt them dating. In reality he did like her but he didn’t realize it. Then suddenly a new guy shows up, he’s like really handsome and he’s in a small band, he plays the bass. Y/n actually listens to that band and she was so excited so the two of them click really easy, that’s when she starts being distant with tsukishima and stops the talks abt them dating, tsukishima starts to miss everything y/n would say to him and he wanted to get y/n back, but when he tries he sees y/n and the guy sharing a peck 😔‼️ sorry if this was longgggg ugh

a/n: ahhh! I’m glad you thought so, haha! don’t worry about the length, specifics are always welcome! <3 this is a really good idea! i think it ended up on the longer side, but yk, more content is good? i also ended up naming him, so it’s easier to refer to him. i keep holding on to highschool settings i’m sorry LMAO- i haven’t finished season 4 and i’m not reading the manga yet :( but anyways, here’s a bit of angst/unrequited love to balance out my recent fluff posts !

asks/requests: open !

word count: 2.6k

warnings?: some angst/unrequited love

worth a try.

- TSUKISHIMA KEI -

growing up with tsukishima had been a whirlwind of experiences. ever since you had moved and transferred to his school the last year of primary school, you’d been drawn to him. the tall, blonde kid with glasses. you found his pride in volleyball admirable, and you even found him to be so much cooler than you ever would be.

you originally didn’t know anybody when you first moved, but you fit right in with both tsukishima and his own friend. it was a strange combination, but it worked somehow. while tsukishima was rude, and yamaguchi timid, you were loud and energetic. you were lively. you challenged him just for the fun of it, you poked and prodded, just having fun being around him.

you were his self-declared best friend.

looking back on it, you probably always had feelings for tsukishima. back in those days when you tried to get into volleyball yourself. wanting to be like him, you tried your best, but you weren’t all that good. he would make fun of you for it, but you weren’t bothered by settling for being supportive of him and your freckled friend. You were just as passionate as they were about it.

you were even there when that passion jaded. watched as he stared at his brother from across the game.

it was when you started junior high, that you came to the conclusion that you were in love with your friend. but unlike most people, you did nothing to hide it. why would you? you were always open, always honest and straight to the point. you just weren’t one to hide that.

“go out with me, tsukki!” you poked his side with a cheeky grin, your eyes bright. your friend wasted no time in rejecting you.

“no.”

“aw, you sure?”

“i would never date somebody so stupidly annoying.” you shook off the blatant insult, laughing instead with your hand on your neck. a small thing you picked up from your other friend. yamaguchi.

“you’ll come around one day!”

“i doubt that.”

it went on like that all throughout your remaining years until high school. a constant back and forth that became a schedule at that point.

it was decided that tsukishima would be going to karasuno, as would yamaguchi. and so would you. you would go where they go, you’d never thought about leaving them both. you’d stay with them as long as possible, holding on to their friendship like it was your lifeline..

and holding onto tsukishima even more so.

you were there with them on the first day, when they joined volleyball club. that first practice match against aoba johsai.

you weren’t always watching their practices, since you had your own club duties to attend to of course. but you always made sure to stop by the clubroom while the boys were getting ready, just to say hi to everyone and to a certain someone.

“hey, hey!” you poked your head from around the door, waving a hand. the team greeted you cheerfully enough, minus tsukishima. who looked annoyed to no end.

“tsukki, wanna go grab something to eat after your practice? i know a really great spot!”

he didn’t even look at you, only giving you the middle finger.

you laughed, shrugging. “worth a try.”

the first time the team had witnessed your very forward approach to asking the extremely salty and crude boy out, they were surprised. the way he turned you down so effortlessly too, threw them off. the added shock of anybody even liking him was the cherry on top.

“is this normal?” sugawara asked, a chuckle falling from his lips. asahi was beside him, sweatdropping at the sight of your affectionate display, and tsukishima’s obvious lack of reciprocation.

yamaguchi smiled awkwardly, nodding. “well- yeah, actually. It’s been happening for years.”

“i’d kill to have somebody all over me like that! lucky bastard!” tanaka held his fist up dramatically, as if clenching his heart in it. he even had a tear in the corner of his eye.

“well then, i’ll be on my way! good practice, everyone!” you chirped, finally leaving them.

“l/n’s got some serious determination.” tanaka whistled.

“misplaced determination. they won’t shut up about dating, it’s annoying.” tsukishima didn’t sound as impressed as his loud senpai was.

yamaguchi tilted his head to the side. “really? i would’ve thought tha-”

“shut up.”

a small laugh. “sorry, tsukki.”

it would forever continue, it seemed like. you never thought you’d give it up, you always knew that you liked tsukishima. your heart would pound, your stomach would feel fluttery. but even though you’ve been with him since you were children, it didn’t seem like he’d grown to feel the same. it would get you down sometimes, his mean and harsh words whenever you’d bring it up. either casually, or intentionally.

you couldn’t help being so hopelessly whipped!

you were walking down the sidewalk with yamaguchi and tsukishima, humming along to a new song that had been dropped recently. you were so into it, strumming your fingers like you were the one playing in the recording. tsukishima watched you with critical eyes, but yamaguchi watched as if this was entertaining.

“new song, l/n?” yamaguchi asked you, and you paused the music. you nodded right away, grinning.

“yeah! there’s this kind of new band I found a bit ago, i think around the time you guys met nekoma for that first practice match? their music is so cool!” you could go on and on about them, to be honest. they may be small, and very underground, but you liked them anyways.

“wahh, they sound cool- right, tsukki?” yamaguchi and you both looked behind at him, faces expecting the same sentiment.

he only scoffed.

you roll your eyes playfully, sidling up to him for the first time today. “you want to go get some ice cream, tsukki?” you wished, hoped for him to just say yes for once. your heart was begging at this point.

“get out of my face, l/n.” he said coldly.

with a defeated sigh, you walked a few steps quicker, before unpausing the music. the humming resumed, and yamaguchi glanced back and forth between you both with a weary expression.

“you could try to be a bit nicer, tsukki-”

“they can’t take a damn hint, it’s not my job to be nice about it.” He said stubbornly.

yamaguchi sighed himself, nodding along. there wasn’t a point in continuing the topic; he always shut it down whenever yamaguchi brought it up. he’s never been so aggressive about something before.

interhigh had come, taking up your friend’s time with it. you were upset that they’d be so busy now, but with the new tournament coming, came a new student.

he was friendly, and cheerful, and honestly probably one of the most charming people you’ve ever met in your life. he even looked familiar to you, like you’ve seen him somewhere before. you couldn’t figure it out, so you just opted to the conclusion you must have just passed him down the street at some point. or some strange case of deja vu? either way, he was in your class now.

you were just coming back from the bathroom, your earbuds plugged into your ears like they usually were nowadays.

“l/n, please take your earbuds out, it’s class time.” iour teacher scolded you gently, and you pouted a little. It was just getting to a good part-

you had tugged on them a little too hard, and instead of just getting them out of your ears, they came out of the headphone jack completely.

you were embarrassed as your new favorite band’s music started blasting out of the phone’s speakers, and you hurried to turn it off. You were blushing, laughing at yourself as you went to go sit back down.

ahh, dang! everyone heard that! you were just laughing at yourself in your head now.

there was a tap on your desk, and you turned your face towards the hand. it was the new kid, and his face looked bright.

“you listen to my band’s music?” he whispered to you, his face beaming, and you gasped quietly.

“is this you?” you pointed at your pocket, where your phone rested. he nodded.

“that’s so- wow, i go to school with one of the people in my favo-”

“l/n, do you have something to say about the lecture?”

you shook your head violently, holding back a huge grin. “n-no, miss!” your teacher sighed, and continued past the interruption.

the looks you both shared didn’t go unnoticed by tsukishima.

everyday now, you were hanging around the new kid. you had come to learn his name, which was ishiwaka teruo. you both had hit it off instantly, it was like you guys had known each other forever, and not just a few weeks. it was almost like some crazy twist of fate, or luck. you guys were both alike in a lot of ways, held similar passions, too.

“see you, ishi!” you waved a hand, grinning as he waved a goodbye back. you guys didn’t take the same way home, so he ended up leaving the opposite direction, while you walked with tsukishima and yamaguchi. you were humming again, one of ishiwaka’s band’s songs.

“you seem pretty happy, l/n.” yamaguchi chuckled, watching as you danced a little. 

“oh yeah, you bet! ishi actually invited me to sit in for one of his practices, isn’t that so cool? he plays the bass, and he even offered to teach me a few chords. i don’t really mess with instruments, but-”

“can you shut up about him? all you do is just yap on and on about this guy, hanging out with him isn’t enough for you? what’s so special anyways?” his tone was harsh, and condescending. “if you’re just going to talk about him all the time, i’m not walking with you guys anymore.” your eyes widened as soon as you heard what tsukishima had just said. your heart was pounding, like it had been caught in the act of something terrible. you even felt slightly ashamed.

“wow, nice, tsukki. sorry for being excited about something.” you muttered, clutching your bag straps tight. what did you expect at this point? he didn’t like you as much as you thought, if he was so ready to just leave you behind. yamaguchi sensed the tension between you both, which made him uncomfortable.

you were all quiet for the rest of the way home.

interhigh came and went, the loss against aoba johsai stung the volleyball team, leaving their spirits broken, and cracked. you hadn’t been to the game that day, busy with a certain band member. and your missing presence hadn’t been looked over.

“where were you?” tsukishima had confronted you in the hallways, while you were walking with ishiwaka to the water fountain. it was break, which meant he could freely talk to you now.

you looked away from him, a nervous air around you that wasn’t like you at all.

“i’m sorry i couldn’t make it, tsukki- i heard that you guys lost, and i’m really sorry i couldn’t have been there!” your words were careful and slow, like you were thinking on how to say the right thing to him.

the blonde closed his eyes, and looked off to the side. he didn’t look pleased in the slightest. “were you with your precious band member? like some kind of groupie.” 

ishiwaka raised an eyebrow, and you just shook your head. tsukishima was really doing this right now? you said sorry, what else were you supposed to say?

“you know what, yeah. i was with him. it’s not like..it’s not like i have to be around you or yamaguchi every second of the day, okay?” you sighed. “look, i’ll make it to your next practice, and skip my club activities. is that fine?”

he hesitated, before giving you a curt nod. you smiled in relief. “great! i’ll see you then. now, about that specific measure-”

you had left him behind, and tsukishima had been hit with a realization.

you hadn’t mentioned going on a date at all. not today, not even within the past few weeks. was something wrong with you? he’d gotten so used to that, but now even that wasn’t a constant.

it was like you were slipping away from him, day by day.

and he realized that he didn’t like that.

as the days went on, thoughts about this ran rampant through his mind. it was maddening, he was trying to focus on school, and now, as he was walking to the clubroom, volleyball. he was scarily silent, and yamaguchi caught onto it right away.

“tsukki?” he asked quietly, not wanting to push. but he wanted to know. ever since tsukishima had come back from break that day, he’d been acting strange. he was even saltier, if that was possible.

“am i not enough for l/n?” he spit out the question, like it was a disease.

taken aback, the freckled boy could only blink. the two stopped walking, looking right at each other now. “what?”

tsukishima barked out a laugh, running a hand over his face in frustration. “you heard me, yamaguchi.”

yamaguchi’s jaw dropped. “do you miss them?” was he for real? was this jealousy actually coming from tsukishima?

“hell if i know.” he muttered. but he knew the answer, and that’s what upset him.

“i knew it. tsukki, why did it have to be now, though?” he shook his head in disbelief. at the utter obliviousness of this boy. yamaguchi knew himself that there was something there in tsukishima, something resembling feelings for you. but of course it was when you were no longer always around that he saw it.

“what?”

“l/n isn’t a puppy anymore, they’re not following after you. if you haven’t noticed, they’ve given up. you need to do this yourself, and fix it.” yamaguchi stated. he wouldn’t be lying if he said that he’d been frustrated with the back and forth between you both, it was so obvious to him, but apparently not obvious to tsukishima. or you, for that matter.

“i know that.” he muttered. he would have to confront you about this. was he stupid? why didn’t he get this before? 

“then do something about it.”

tsukishima was quiet.

it was decided by him that he’d catch you outside of practice, since you said you’d be coming to watch. it was a quick, and impulsive decision from him, but he needed this to be figured out. his head was at it’s most unclear, and that was affecting him.

you were affecting him.

he looked around the outside of the gym, trying to see if he could spot you coming. it took a minute, before he saw a figure off to the side. it was you, he could tell by that bag anywhere. he stepped out, only to be met with the full picture.

you were with ishiwaka, and you were kissing him.

tsukishima hurried back into the gym with a stone-cold expression. oh. so this is where he stood now.

no longer at the top of your list, no longer important.

you walked into the gym, beaming. it angered tsukishima, more than he should have been. he yanked your arm, and held you by them with a vice grip. you looked up at your friend with nervous, maybe even scared eyes. you hadn’t seen tsukishima like this before.

“what is he to you?”

you blinked. “wh-what?”

“who is he to you? that little bass player.” his eyes were searching yours, for anything, anything that he could hold on to. you didn’t respond, only looking away from his intense stare.

your eyes didn’t hold that same look that they used to whenever you looked at him. 

he had his answer. and he didn’t like it. so he let go of you, maybe for real this time. things had changed so much, right under his nose. and he had let it happen.

[icharchivist]

In reference to the opinions re-blog, can you share one such opinion for GBF? Or just any fandom you have a tickle for.

HELPPP

I guess it's my heated "obviously it doesn't matter but i'm heated about it" opinions about gbf are like

... under cut because eventually i got heated (at least you can be sure i am serious about those "stupid things that gets me heated despite knowing it's stupid" lmao)

-GBVS only people who constantly ignores the mobage or act like it doesn't exist, even if it's because they genuinely don't know, gets on my nerves. Similarly recent people who went "i can't wait for relink because i don't want to touch the mobage" please don't. This also extends to people who spams my recommended with "lol granblue sucks it doesn't even have rollbacks" i wish you a very "never get rollbacks if you don't get out from my lawn."

-Seeds of Redemption wasn't THAT BAD everyone is just mean. It wasn't even bad and the vitriol against it when it came out has always puzzled me. Also lowkey holding Nehan and Mugen in my arms like "if you only bitched about SoR don't look at them" which is the pettiest i can get.

-Also the argument against SoR that Seofon is "too manipulative and heartless in it" gets on my nerve like, i've never read him as being heartless, and, "too manipulative"?? my dude how long ago is the last time you read the Eternal recruitment quest, this is Seofon alright. Are you woobifying him.

-Enyo is fine, let a girl be murderous once in a while. this one is weirdly petty bc i've first heard of Enyo when she joined the pool and i was seeing people get VERY upset in gbf en's mentions to the point of insulting them, and i was so confused about it. Then i could gather, from also friends who disliked her, that it was because "she was mean and cruel and wants to kill us and also she was awfully mean to Athena" and i was just "..... and? We all want to fuck Belial here what's the problem?" and i've been an Enyo apologist ever since. well. "apologist" in the sense "let a girl have fun even if this fun is murder, you don't complain when Belial does the same". So i'm weirdly defensive of Enyo despite the fact otherwise i couldn't care less because i do find Athena a bit boring DLKJFDKLF

-It's fine that an event isn't exploring more about the angels. Really. It's fine. If you only come back when there's angels content and ignore everything else perhaps it's a you problem when you get upset the angels content isn't that good

-Bitching every Autumn about the 4kishi getting an event is getting old, "others saga deserves spotlight!!" yeah but it's the oldest running saga leave them be it's just a tradition at this point

That's the things that comes to my mind at least, which is just that basically i am pretty chill until i start to see bad takes too much that i start to be defensive out of things i wouldn't have defended out of pure spite.

But i also recognize those are pretty inconsequential

(very different from getting angry about what i sometimes see about Ladiva or Cags which really put me in a rightful anger that i don't think is THAT inconsequential, tho that does goes back to my point 1) of i really wish gbvs only people to stop discussing whenever Ladiva and Cags are good or bad rep when they then get to answer to clarification by "oh my bad i don't know the game" then don't discuss about whenever they're good or not. I'm specifically vaguing someone who said Cags was bad rep because she was evil which had mobage fans going hey what the fuck you on.)

tho on "inconsequential topics that makes me heated regardless" in any fandom tends to be linked to any conversation about redemption arcs (but ESPECIALLY in slice of life stories) and conversation about true siblings dynamic. On the later i know it's because i have perhaps more serious biases, but you can be sure that generally if i see a post about whenever or not a chara deserves a redemption arc or if we should "accept" their redemption, or whenever i see posts about how "those siblings are unrealistic because they love each other" or "the big sibling doesn't behave like a big sibling" i want to throw tables at people's face and i think we should admire my incredible self control for generally just taking it quietly.

But like those people are generally joking around when they talk about those things so i don't want to be a killjoy either but also i'm just "kill kill maim kill" in my head when those happen. Duality of man ect.

Redemption talks generally annoys the hell out of me because framing an entire character on whenever the apology is acceptable with the situation bores the hell out of me. Genuinely the most boring way to approach a character ever. Like i could be saying something more in depth about how it's reductive of the narrative and frame the entire value of getting better on the person hurt and the apology rather than taking in the personal journey of someone who has to grow with the guilt of their actions, but, i'll just be brief and say i find the way people talk about it boring as hell. (which by the way i will NEVER forgive Zuko from atla for being the only basis of “acceptable redemption arc” for people out there. His arc was great but he’s not the only arc possible and everytime you bring him up as being the only valid redemption arc and directly compare one saying it’s bad in comparaison i hate Zuko a little bit more everyday. Which fucking sucks because i started off loving Zuko, people are just annoying.)

In another fandom i was in (1, 2, 3 moment before the people who still follow me from the fandom goes "i fucking knew Icha would bring it up") one of my fav character was also the most controversial one because he kidnapped MC in a fits of misdirected revenge against someone he cared about but had a misunderstanding with that made him think he ruined his life, so he basically blackmailed him until he realized he was hurting the only person he had left to care about and is now having to struggle with the guilt of his actions while being forcefully adopted in the found family of the person he kidnapped, to whom he ends up becoming extremely soft with despite this guilt toward what he had done to them when he lashed out from trauma, despite trying to distance himself from them because of his guilt.

And so, i love this character to bits, but going into his tags was impossible because of the fact people refuse to accept that he's trying to be better, and constantly throws back his crimes to his face and all of that, and every single time i freeze like "dude, he's done the absolute bare minimum to be a temporary antagonist, it could have been worse. in gbf where i'm from, there's a character who did all of that AND started an apocalypse AND tortured people AND tried to torture your bestie and he's the most popular character of the franchise". Because i dare you, nonny, to reread what i just wrote about my fav from this franchise and not see the exact same way to describe Sandalphon especially in the first wmtsb event.

I was throwing fits WEEKLY about how "oh you guys would not survive ONE MINUTE in gbf.". Now for the sake of "i don't like being angry", at least i don't pay it any mind anymore (my amazing trap cards of "i'm never going in the tags" and "i only seek contents from Japanese fanartists because at least if they have bad takes i can't read them unless i force myself to"), but all of this to say this is probably the last straw of a chara i kept hearing "he didn't even have a proper redemption arc" that annoyed me over the edge. he didn't have one TO YOU. To me tho i'm kissing him on the mouth.

MOVING ON, Genuinely tho i hold gbf in such high esteem for this specific reason, i was fucking tired of hearing the most boring arguments ever to shit on a character because they decide their redemption is not good enough (bc they're not wallowing in misery enough i guess?), that it made me appreciate how much nobody gives a shit about that in the gbf fandom. We stan so many murderers and we just say it's sexy and we move on and i find it soooo sexy.

For siblings stuff in general i'm just genuinely pissed off by the general idea that there is a "one shoe fits it all" of sibling dynamics and especially when it bashes others ones in media. On this one it's a bit more personal because i have such a weird relationship with my siblings that everytime i see those takes i just get angry. It can be argued that therefore it's not completely 'inconsequential" but sometimes i just get angry for no reasons too about how "wow you guys are sO boring of not being able to make JOKES over anything else than your comfort zone of this bubble of normalicy you impose on everyone, do you.". Like man talk about the death of creativity because you refuse to accept something doesn't follow the Only Trope You Ever Considered Realistic To You And No One Else.

Once again i never really saw it in gbf due to the fact we don't specifically have major siblings pair in focus in stories? like there's a few and sometimes they fall more into the bickering side anyway but people barely talk about them so i'm at peace. But you can be sure this would end up firing me up.

and on general topics i just don't care for woobification of characters who did commit crimes. I feel like it's an overcompensation because when people say some characters don't deserve redemption they always highlight the bad things they've done, and so, people, instead of realizing it means your outline for redemption is bad and you should feel bad, they interpret it as "then we have to prove the bad things weren't so bad". And no!!! the bad things were bad!!! regardless of the reasons reframe them but don't change that fact. It doesn't make them less good of characters or less worthy of redemption. That's what happened recently over a discussion over Seox on my blog where i was getting heated on the idea of saying he did nothing wrong. What a waste of a good character to say he did nothing wrong just because you can recognize that the circumstances were out of his control. Those aren't mutually exclusive. You can still do bad things and still fundamentally deserves to grow from it, and you can be pushed into making those bad things for good reasons but that doesn't make them less bad, it just means you have a better change to heal from it.

Basically i love fucksup characters who did so much wrongs and intends to do better, and the bigger the wrong the more involved i am, so genuinely the two takes of either they're unredeemable or they are a sweet angel that did nothing wrong don't sit right with me at all.

so this is a good extensive list of stuff that gets easily on my nerves on fandom spaces that, technically, doesn't matter, but is it going to stop me from having it ruining my day? who knows!

So i did get heated and i want to formally apologize if there's any of those points that rings toward anyone, as in, at the end of the day, people have fun in their own way and it's not my intention to police how anyone does it. I'm perfectly aware those are stupid enough like that, so as long as it's not like, something that's thrown in my askbox or something, you do you.

But since you asked..... salutes.

Here you go!

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

In Regards to the RWBY Post

Sending this as a submission because I suspect this will get long-winded.  Also, I can put a massive line break between this and the post; if you’d rather not bother this with all (perfectly understandable) you should just be able to delete this without reading it.  I think.  I’ve barely used Tumblr since the purge.  Also, I’m perfectly willing to keep this discussion private.

TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF SUICIDE AND SELF-HARM BELOW. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

First, I say this as someone who suffers from Severe Depression Disorder (I think that’s what it was called, last time it was mentioned on my chart).  Due to some bad antidepressants, I was once suicidal for about a year (and thankfully I was really bad at it).

To take things in order: I do agree that the show did a very bad job at alerting people to the distressing content.  I am perhaps more blase about this stuff since I lived through it and came out the other side, but for someone who finds the topic distressing or has lost someone to suicide, it’s just not sufficient.

The difference between earlier and at that point is that there were options.  Hope, however small.  Trying what they did with the Spirit of Creation was a gamble with Penny’s life (explicitly so; nobody knew the exact way the end result would manifest).  That in itself is iffy, though I suppose akin to trying an experimental procedure for the first time when someone has a life-threatening disease.

As for the dimensional bridge, I disagree that the wound wasn’t as bad.  Maybe physically; it would depend on just how deep the wound is.  However, something about that attack has been shown to be incredibly lethal.  Amber, the original Fall Maiden, was kept in stasis after she was attacked.  There’s enough factors around this one that it might not have been the parasite Grimm specifically that was killing her.

A better point of comparison would be Vernal.  Roughly 45 seconds of the same drain attack in a much less lethal position was enough to almost kill her.  She had enough strength to pass out for a bit, get off one shot, and die.  Penny had been under that effect for about 15 seconds.  I suspect that parasite Grimm poison the victim, though that is just supposition.

As for Weiss holding her off, that wouldn’t have happened.  For one reason or another, Penny was dying.  Even if it wasn’t as bad as Weiss’ injury was, it was clearly bad.  Realistically, Weiss couldn’t have held Cinder off for however long Jaune needed even if the injury was healable.  Cinder took down everyone but them solo while fending off Penny (objectively stronger than Weiss) in less screentime than it took Jaune to heal Weiss’ wound.

All that said, Jaune makes the same point you do about Weiss holding Cinder off.  Penny completely ignores it, instead begging him to let her choose, so I could just very well be putting more thought into this than the writers did.

I admit that I haven’t seen any one of the sacrifices you mentioned, being more of a video game person, so perhaps I lack the right frame of reference. 

The depression was something I hadn’t considered, either.  Perhaps, again, because I deal with it every day; it’s just normal to me.  I’ll concede to that.  I still argue what she did was the best choice of two really bad choices, but that on RT and the writers’ parts it was completely flubbed.  Right for the wrong reasons, in other words.

There’s a (perhaps unintentionally) poignant point here.  Again, speaking personally, I was looking forward to the whole ‘Penny is human’ thing, discovering the ups and downs of it vs. being human.

I also don’t remember anything about Ironwood being bad because he needed prosthetics.  Maybe I lost that in the whole thing about Ironwood being bad because he was becoming increasingly tyrannical.  Still, I’ll leave that there, because I don’t want to get into a rant on him.

Is what Penny did suicide?  Yes.  Does that inherently make it not a heroic sacrifice?  I’d argue no.  Does that mean it was good writing?  Definitely not.

I’d actually like to suggest a more egregious example that came to mind as I typed this.  Pyrrha’s death in Season 3.  She was always meant to die; it’s even in her name.  In the season finale, after having survived the failed Aura transfer and likely having known Cinder killed Ozpin, she tells Jaune that she’s going after her.  Jaune (rightly) tries to talk Pyrrha out of it, (correctly) citing that Cinder is just way too powerful.  She shoves Jaune in a rocket locker and goes anyways.

This is what I would call a prime example of glorifying suicide.  Pyrrha goes to pick an unwinnable fight.  To the best of my knowledge, she wasn’t trying to stop Cinder from doing anything, and Cinder wasn’t even attacking anyone at the moment so there was nothing to protect.  She fights, loses, and accomplishes absolutely nothing except traumatizing Jaune and Ruby.

Now, it could be argued this is because Ozpin made her feel like stopping Cinder (by doing the Aura transfer with Amber and potentially losing her own personality or worse).  Whether or not there’s merit to that, the fact is that this glorifying suicide. 

None of this needed to happen in-universe.  Narratively, it catalyzes Jaune’s growth arc, gives a dramatic death to cap off the volume, and lets Ruby’s eyes activate for the first time (even though 'moments away from dying’ would likely have worked as well as 'actually dying’).  It didn’t have to happen that way, though.

Let me pose a question to cap this off.  Say there’s a group of heroes that have to stop an invasion.  They’re arriving through a portal leading to a mothership.  One of them is very depressed.  They succeed, but the leader had a deadman switch.  They try and escape the way they came, but there’s a catch; someone needs to stay on the other side to keep the portal open.  The ship will blow up in 30 seconds.  The heroes lack the tools to find an alternate solution.  The very depressed hero volunteers.  Lacking any better ideas and the time to find a better solution, they reluctantly agree.  Does the fact that the depression played a part in the hero volunteering make it not a heroic sacrifice?

P.S. If you’re reading this, first: thank you.  Second, sorry it got kind of rambly.  I ended up spending two hours typing this up and it became stream-of-consciousness at some point.

(This user submitted a different post with a few edits, so I’m going to add it here)

Again, under the break.  Sorry about this, forgot to finish a thing and mention a different thing.

"There's a (perhaps unintentionally) poignant point here.  Again, speaking personally, I was looking forward to the whole 'Penny is human' thing, discovering the ups and downs of it vs. being human."

Apologies, I seemed to have gotten distracted and forgot to actually finish this.  What I meant to say here is that any potential this development had ended with her death.  I was really annoyed when they did this, but in some sense it's analogous to the lost potential a person had when they commit suicide.

Also, a quick note re: Weiss buying time: She had also lost her Aura by that point.  Twice, actually.  There's a reason she wasn't using her Semblance or Dust when fending off Cinder.  Also, when Jaune cries out at what he did, you can see Cinder about to coup de grace Weiss.  When the action goes back to them, she's also laid flat on the ground.  The only thing that stops her from finishing the job is her rage-fuelled blitz at Jaune.  10:07 and 12:10 of the finale, if you want to double check.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First of all, I want to say I’m sorry to hear you’ve been through depression and hope you understand I wasn’t trying to say you were wrong here.

I think the problem I had with the scene was that the writers and animators could have done a much better job highlighting how dire the scene was to justify Penny sacrificing herself, especially since I don’t think she even knew Winter was in the middle of fighting Ironwood. Seriously, when Ruby and Blake fell into the void, we only saw Penny tear up a little before the fight started up again.

Another option that nobody ever considered was Jaune simply picking up Penny and getting her to a safe place so he can heal her, as Cinder still looked busy enough pummeling Weiss to not even focus on Jaune and Penny’s conversation (which again, was still long enough for Jaune to at least try to keep healing her). Yeah, it would have been a very cowardly thing to do, but seeing Jaune run away with Penny while essentially leaving Weiss to fight for herself after already losing her teammates could have helped to show how this was the darkest hour for the heroes.

The main problem I have with Penny becoming human and dying an hour later was how little buildup there was to both. Compare this to Martin Stein’s death from DC’s Legends of Tomorrow. During the third season, there was a plotline about Stein, who is one half of the hero Firestorm, coming to terms with how dangerous his superhero career is after the birth of his grandson, so Jax, the other half of Firestorm, starts looking for a way to separate their bond so Stein can retire as a Legend. Things take a dark turn in the “Crisis on Earth-X” crossover special when Stein is fatally wounded by a Nazi soldier from an alternate dimension (long story), and ironically, it’s Stein’s connection to Jax that keeps him alive, but he’s still on death’s door, so he asks Jax to give him the recently finished serum that will sever the bond. Ironically, even though Jax proposed the idea of it in the first place, he can’t bring himself to do it, saying he’s willing to die with Stein if their bond isn’t severed. Eventually, Jax brings himself to hand Stein the serum, and as soon as Stein flatlines, he just breaks down.

Even though the circumstances are very similar (the biggest difference being that Stein died in the Waverider’s medical bay instead of in the middle of a chaotic battle), the death feels more impactful because the elements of the scene (Stein reflecting on his life, the creation of the serum, and his bond with Jax in general) were previously established and fleshed out, so the conclusion felt natrural.

The whole thing about Penny becoming human didn’t really have a lot of impact to it because it was only brought up about halfway through Volume 8 when they somehow claimed Penny was always human because she had a soul... even though when Ruby first found out Penny was a robot, she didn’t judge her for it. Add that to Volume 8 in general vilifying prosthetics (and to answer your earlier question, the Volume 7 commentary for “Gravity” is where Kerry Shawcross confirmed Ironwood sacrificing his arm to stop Watts was a metaphor for him losing his humanity) to the point where everyone viewed Penny becoming human as an improvement while the original died a painful death. And even though Penny became human, nothing really happened as a result. Aside from a single scene where Penny asks what hugs feel like even though a running gag is how often she runs in to hug Ruby, nothing really happens because there’s so much focus on the main plot, there’s not enough time to explore Penny newfound humanity before she dies. It honestly feels like she was made a human specifically so she could die again and never come back.

But my biggest problem with Penny’s suicide was how uncomfortably realistic it felt. I know you see it a different way, but the fact that Penny was just asking Jaune to kill her while we were treated to the image of Jaune’s blood-stained sword afterwards just felt wrong to me because this kind of stuff has happened to a lot of people before. It just felt cruel that supposedly the only choice Penny actually got to make was choosing to die so Winter could become the next Winter Maiden, which only made Penny getting the powers first pointless not only because Winter was supposed to get them after Fria (the previous Winter Maiden) died, but because she ended up betraying Ironwood too.

If the writers absolutely needed to kill Penny so Winter could get her Maiden powers, here’s an idea I think could have worked better with some of the original context.

While Penny still gets mortally wounded by Cinder, Jaune still tries healing her and doesn’t stop while they have the same conversation, with Jaune thinking there’s enough time until Weiss gets knocked off the platform and into the void by Cinder. Cinder then proceeds to use her Grimm arm that makes it impossible for me to take her seriously to grab Penny and begins to drain the power from her. The camera then focuses on Jaune, who gets a determined look in his eyes. He charged toward the two, making it look like a tearful Jaune is making a desperate attempt to stop Cinder, only for him to stab Penny in the back instead, killing her, and allowing her to transfer the Maiden powers to Winter. While the assisted suicide aspect is still there, what Jaune does is shown to be impulsive and ends up accomplishing his goal even if it breaks him mentally.

Other than that, the problem I have with Jaune being the one to end Penny’s life is that he already has a reason to hate Cinder because of what happened to Pyrrha (who I will concede did come across as a little suicidal upon rewatching even though I thought she was trying to take the Fall Maiden powers back originally), and he doesn’t have the same connection with Penny to make him killing her impactful. If anything, I think Ruby should have been the one to do it given her bond with Penny, and it would have been more of a gut punch to see all her efforts to save her friend amount to nothing, realizing that everything she did this Volume was pointless.

As for your last question regarding the depressed hero, I would suppose it would depend on what the hero said to the others before he died.

[90363462]

EXCLUSIVE: ‘Baby, This Is Keke Palmer!’ Podcast Is Now Streaming

Brianna Sharpe

Source: Courtesy of Amazon / Amazon

Keke Palmer, a singer, businesswoman, and multi-hyphenate entrepreneur will launch her new podcast series, Baby, This Is Keke Palmer, exclusively and ad-free on Amazon Music for Prime members and Amazon Music Unlimited subscribers. This podcast will be streaming, Tuesday, November 1st. 

Keke is well-known for her countless roles on television and in movies, including her most recent role in NOPE. Fans now have a new way to enjoy everything Keke unfiltered with her new podcast. Her hilarious, and amusing personality, which is on display in interviews and on her social media will now be available weekly on Amazon Music.

Everything under the sun will be covered in Palmer’s podcast. From the existential to the inconsequential, from culture to popular culture to popular science, from the meaning of existence to “W.A.P.”, from life in space to “Where the eff is Tom from MySpace? and all that lies between.

Keke will delve deeply into subjects she is hooked on every week. Among her notable guests are Blac Chyna, Jaleel White, and others.

Keke chatted with MADAMENOIRE about her new podcast, the inspiration, and what to anticipate from this uncensored and entertaining show.

 — 

MADAMENOIRE: Hi. How are you?

KeKe Palmer: I’m good. How about yourself?

Doing pretty well. It’s a fantastic and blessed Friday.

I know that’s right, Amen. 

So, first I wanted to say congratulations on everything that you’ve accomplished… everything that you’re accomplishing! You’re out here killing a game. You have KeyTV, NOPE, and now your new podcast, Baby, This Is Keke Palmer!, I just wanted to say congratulations.

Thank you!

No problem. My first question is, what inspired you to start this podcast?

I think inspiration came from a couple of things. I’m excited about it being all voice. I think I’ve done a lot of work in front of the camera, and obviously every now and then I’m sure we’ll film some episodes of podcasts. But I’m very excited about being able to just talk and just have conversations and not have to worry about how I look or being informative in that regard. It’s kind of just being able to really dive into the kind of conversations that I want to have. 

There’s a different feeling when you’re talking to somebody on the phone as opposed to when you’re in front of them, when you’re just having, like, just honest conversations. So, I’m excited to explore that, and then I’m excited to have all the opportunity to really craft a space that feels very original to me. I think sometimes when you do talk shows or Daytime TV, everything has to be limited to a certain format or a certain type of topic or a certain type of perspective or viewpoint. And I think with a podcast you don’t have that, you can really just kind of do your own thing and really explore any topic and any kind of guest, that’s another thing.

With daytime talk or TV show stuff, like, sometimes they only want celebrities. And I think podcasts are all about discovery, so you have the opportunity to discover different people in different fields that can offer unique POVs.

I love that. So, the podcast industry has been booming, especially since the pandemic. How will your podcast stand out amongst all the other podcasts out there?

Well, I think, again, not to be like cliché of this, but I do think it’s true for any podcast, the host is what always separates. I think for me, whether it be the topics or whether it be the way in which I talk about things, I think, again, everybody is only as unique as their perspective.

I have very different, or not even say very different, but I have very specific ways I think about things and look at things. I think if that’s something that somebody is interested in hearing and exploring, they want to hear what Keke has to say about this, or what Keke would say about this, or how she dived into this conversation or all those kinds of things. If they’re looking for a viewpoint like mine, then I think they would be able to enjoy it.

I know some aspects of your podcast will be about empowering women of all ages, all colors. Will have those deep, important conversations, involving things like women’s rights… Black Lives Matter? Will you be diving into those harsh topics that are hard to talk about?

I think yeah, at some point. I think for me, it’s always about finding the way in which you want to talk about something. I think carrying the weight of it all, I think is a big thing that a lot of us deal with is like how to not feel guilty about being happy and kind of just existing in our space. In our circle, while also feeling like, damn, am I doing enough for my community.

Black people, especially young black people, we feel like we have the damn weight of the world. Sometimes just having a good time and kind of just not overly focusing on all the hardships all the time, it makes you feel guilty.

So, I think having conversations like that, about realizing that you don’t always have to be on the front lines and that’s okay. If that is your calling and if that is what you want to do, that’s okay too. But that just because you’re black, it doesn’t mean that you got to always be preaching and teaching every damn minute.

Right.

Sometimes you can’t take a break, that’s okay. I think having those kinds of conversations to me is like, definitely perspective that I would want to explore because it gets exhausting being black and people always want to make your story about how oppressed you are. It’s just like, come on now, shit, I got other stuff that’s going on as well.

It’s about the balance.

Yes!

It’s giving you’re going to have those conversations, but you’re also going to have a lot of fun. You’re going to have the comical side, the conspiracy theories.

Oh yeah!

You’re going to dive deep!

Yes, c’mon! C’mon conspiracy theories! I need to get with the kids and talk about this because what the hell is you talking about, y’all!

Can you give us some special guests? Who are you having on your podcast?

Who am I having on the podcast? I mean, we had Blac Chyna on, which is a lot of fun, and kind of talk to her about– I see Blac Chyna on front lines of what we consider like, the entire change of how we looked at strippers and what they were considered in our generation. Which really, they became influencers like the original Instagram girls.

I think a lot of times when I think about Blac Chyna. I would think most of my Blac Chyna. She was definitely like on the forefront of that in terms of pop culture and so exploring that conversation with her. Then also kind of how that plays the OnlyFans. How she’s perceived. How leading with sexuality or just beauty. What challenges that has brought to her and things like that. So that was a lot of fun.

Talking to Jaleel White about identity, talking to Kenan Thompson about knowing when you’re doing, and what you’re doing for your career is, like, the right thing. You know, Kenan Thompson is somebody that has done the same thing his entire life, essentially. Like, when you think about from all that, then SNL and what that meant for him.

Right.

I think for me, when it comes to having conversations with celebrities, it’s always about the piece of it that we all can relate to, because everybody’s not celebrities, but everybody knows what it feels like when you’re giving your all to something career wise and how to know when it’s something that you should continue to commit to or when you should walk away from it. So, for me, that’s always the viewpoint, especially when I talk to an entertainer, because I just want to bring everything down to earth.

That sounds so exciting. I am so excited for this Baby, This Is Keke Palmer! podcast!

Thank you.

My final question, who dead or alive, anybody, unlimited budget, who would you have on your podcast?

See I would love– I don’t know how expensive it is to talk to this person. I would love to talk to Berry Gordy.

Okay!

I’d be very interested to talk to Berry Gordy about really what was going down in the Motown rappers.

Right.

I would love to talk to Diana Ross.

That’s a good one.

I would love to talk to, this is the thing there are a lot of people I want to talk to I don’t even know the names of yet. But I would like to talk to real experts and professors in specific fields. Why are sociopaths, sociopaths? Is there a real reason as to why? Like what are your thoughts on faith vs. Science?

Like, just shit like that. I’m very interested in those kinds of companies. Like Neil deGrasse Tyson, let’s bring his ass on. I’m very interested in talking and being like, how do you see the world? Where are the Albert Einstein’s? I want to talk to him, too. Come on. Mark Zuckerberg, get yo ass on the podcast. 

Mmhmm, yes! Your podcast is giving! I’m excited about this.

Thank you, I’m so glad!

Well, thank you so much for speaking to me, speaking with MADAMENOIRE. I am so excited. You’re killing the game; you’re out here being a boss. And you’re setting the example on how to be a boss.

Thank you.

Baby, This Is Keke Palmer! is now streaming.Listen now to the trailer and first episode of Baby, this is Keke Palmer HERE

RELATED CONTENT: Keke Palmer Reminds Social Media To Put Respect On Her Name After Tweets On Colorism And Comparisons To Zendaya

[stellocchia]

This is part 4 of the Comprehensive Analysis of c!Tommy and c!Dream’s relationship during the Exile Arc

Part 1 -  Part 2 -  Part 3

We’re here once more just to suffer... though be fair I did decide to do this to myself, so I can’t really complain there...

As always under the cut we will be exclusively be talking about the characters unless stated otherwise and we will be talking about some serious topics, so keep that in mind

We’re starting this off with the infamous Beach Party stream: Tommy Is Left ALONE at his Exile Party with Dream

Now, quick introduction to this vod, since we find out about some details later on: no-one, aside from Dream, shows up because Dream destroyed the invitations and also Ghostbur won’t be around any longer because Dream sent him away (knowing fully well that that could have killed him since he already heard directly from Ghostbur that rain melted him). 

Basically at this point Dream is taking a step further into the manipulation process by not only making everyone else believe that Tommy didn’t want to see them but by also physically ensure they’d believe that. Also Tommy doesn’t start this one drowning either (perhaps because he was in high spirits the day prior?)

*creeper blows up* “Shit shit shit shit (...) I’m stupid I’m stupid I deserve that I deserve that. No no no no I didn’t I didn’t, today is gonna be a good day, today is gonna be a big day” (first response to anything negative has become taking on the blame, which we see later on with the Community House situation)

“Will Tubbo be there? Maybe! Myabe he will! Maybe he will!” (Tommy still very much missing his best friend)

“He [Tubbo] did boot me out... no no! you know what? I’m in the mood to reconcile!” (a big trait of Tommy’s has always been his loyalty to people, no matter how much they hurt him)

“It was definitely 8 pm GMT, 8 pm G-” *Dream joins the game* *Tommy pauses for a few moments on the Nether bridge completely still and then turns back* (I want to point out that the reaction any time Dream joined was one of absolute fear, for good reasons of course)

One thing that I’ve noticed is that Dream rarely comes from the Nether when visiting Tommy, opting instead for the objectively longer route through the water, which honestly seems to reinforce something he said early on, which was basically that even with the longer route it doesn’t take much effort to visit, and yet Dream is the only one willing to make that effort.

“Hello!” “H-hello?” “Hi!” “Hi ho-” “Where is everyone else?” “Oh... I don’t- I don’t know...” “I’m running a little late, I’m sorry” 

Considering that we know that Dream was in fact the one who sabotaged the invites, therefore meaning he knew fully well that nobody would be there, does the fact that he came late seem like he really wanted Tommy to stew in his own loneliness for a while to anyone else? You know, to properly break his spirit. Also Tommy immediately after this goes to take off his armour (Tommy Slippers included) and weapons, but this is the one time Dream lets him keep it (which, once again, he’ll use as a point against him later on). 

“Wilbur sent out the invites, didn’t he?” “Yeah, yeah no he sent them to everybody. He actually told Tubbo to his- like, he told him, he didn’t even need to give him an invite” “Really?!” “Yeah” (just want to point out that this is in fact not gaslighting, as some people seemed to think at the time, but it is still manipulation)

“I’m sure they said they’d be here by the day-” *watching the sun go down* “Time...” “I- I thought I was late so I’m surprised people aren’t here, but...” (turns out Dream was around 15 minutes late supposedly)

Tommy at this point takes out the cake, but he doesn’t eat any. I do think this is a good time to point out that the further we are into the exile the less we actually see Tommy eating (sometimes he straight up throws away any food he has in the inventory). He also sleeps less and less (or, at least, rests less, after all sleeping doesn’t necessarily mean being well rested afterwards) which we can deduce both from his comments on the subject and his rapidly deteriorating state. 

“Dream, no-one’s here” “I don’t know why... guess I’m most surprised Tubbo isn’t ‘cause he said he was gonna be, but-” (once again harping on to the retoric that Tubbo specifically willingly abandoned Tommy)

“I figured, I mean I figured you’d probably care the least if I was here so I just- I didn’t mind being a little bit late because everyone else would be here, but...” (once again the idea here is: “even if I was late I still came, no-one else did”)

“No-one cares about me anymore!” “That’s not true...” “No-one cares about me!” *Tommy takes his armour off again* “Tommy...” “No-one cares- no-one cares about me!” *Tommy destroys the rest of the cake* “No no no *sigh*” “No-one cares, do they? No-one showed up to my party... and it was the one thing, THE ONE THING they had to do for me after exiling me and fucking me over and not one of them came with me. And... none of them care about me anymore... ‘cause I’m not in L’manburg anymore, ‘cause I’m not with- ‘cause I’m not the vice-president”

Okay, that was a long quote, but 2 things I want to point out here: Tommy had about half of his health here, he refused to eat, take of his armour and marched towards the Nether, which is again him acting with no regard for his own self-preservation. And also there is a bit of Wilbur retoric sprinkled in there, with the whole “people only care about you when you have power” mentality. That’s exactly what Wilbur tried to convince him of in the Pogtopia era and it looks like he’s seeing a confirmation of this through the party. 

“If no-one is gonna put in any effort to come and see me, than I’ll make the effort harder to come and see me then, alright?” 

At this point Tommy has borrowed Dream’s netherite pickaxe and he proceeds to destroy a chunk of the bridge he’s made in the Nether, swapping it out for a one block wide wooden bridge. Of course, it goes without saying that he is not acting rationally, he is hurt and angry at the moment and he wants to convince himself that if others don’t care about him then he won’t care about them, which is why he starts lashing out more after this. And this is the result of Dream’s direct actions by the way.

“What is everyone saying about Tubbo’s compass? What is that? What is it? Explain to me” “I- uh I’m pretty sure that he burned it or something... or he lost it, something like that” “Wha...?” “He doesn’t have it anymore”

Tommy, up until now, didn’t even fully believed that Tubbo had a compass, but with the official confirmation of it being paired with Tubbo possibly willingly burn it, it’s the last straw for Tommy who decides to do the same. Though he doesn’t end up actually burning it, he does goes to take it out of the enderchest and bring it to the Nether. I do want to point out that Tubbo did not, in fact, either loose it or burn it willingly. It was blown up by accident in a creeper explosion.

*Tommy holding his compass over a sea of lava* “He burnt it? On purpose?” “I- I think so” “You know what, wou know what? Y- you know what?!” “Why don’t you- why don’t you sleep on it Tommy? Just wait don’t do anything, you know? Anything you can’t take back and then...” “I don’t sleep anymore Dream...”

Pretty sad scene... also a confirmation of what we said before about Tommy sleeping less and less. Also I’m not entirely sure why Dream was suddenly against Tommy burning the compass when he didn’t seem to be at the start, though it could be because Tommy was so obviously hesitant about it, so he probably wouldn’t have done it either way. Which means that it was a good moment to get friendship points. 

*Tommy standing in front of the portal in the main Nether hub* “I just want to go home... please can I go home...?” “Uhm, do you wanna see the Christmas tree for, like, 10 seconds?” “Can I stay?” “You can’t stay, but you can go look at it, I’ll let you out-” “Why can’t I stay?” “It’s not like they want you anyway Tommy” “wha...?” “Tommy, no-one showed up to your party and everyone was invited. Do you want to see the Christmas tree?” “I’ll just go back...”

This is the one single scene that is capable of making me emotional every single time. Just Tommy’s broken and small voice throughout it is something else... also Dream’s absolutely smug tone in all of it. But, the one thing, aside from the great acting, that I want to point out in all of this is how the reason for why Tommy can’t go back now has shifted from Dream killing him if he does to his old friends not wanting him around any longer. This way Dream gets to fully play the part of the magnanimous friend who still cares while everyone else is depicted as the enemy. Also I do find it interesting that in this scene Dream keeps insisting quite a bit for Tommy to go see the tree (in contrast to the first time where he refused for him to go back even for a few seconds), which almost looks like him testing how effective his conditioning was.

“That guy is gonna kill me, the little guy” *pointing at a baby piglin* “Oh” *Dream proceeds to get rid of it* (Tommy is by now basically dependent on Dream for his own safety)

“Do you need food?” “*sigh* No” (Tommy is literally on 3 hearts with 3 1/2 hunger bars and he is still refusing to eat)

They spend quite a bit of time after this by playing with Dream’s riptide trident and later also with the throwing one. Also Tommy changes his “girlfriend” hot girl for HOTTER girl (because I know you all deeply care for this kind of updates)

“I actually didn’t have a trident before and it took forever to come here, so I got a trident to come here quickly” “Oh thank you! You obviously care about me Dream” (Tommy feeling compelled to thank Dream for literally anything paired with Dream constantly showing off how much effort he is willing to put in)

“Let’s make a guest tent, let’s make a guest tent!” “That’s a... great idea” “In case any guest wanna- I mean maybe even- maybe you- we’ll make it here. It- it needs to be close to me because I’m- I’m really missing contact” (on top of everything else, Tommy was also canonically touch starved)

Dream and Tommy also make a guest tent together (and it’s implied a few times that maybe Dream will use it) before playing with tridents a bit more when it starts raining. Also Tommy builds a cobblestone smartphone were he keeps snapchat streaks with girls (this goes in the list of sentences I never thought I’d type). 

“Hey thanks for letting me keep my armour today” “You’re welcome” “It was nice of you” “I just thought it’d be good for the party and everything” “I’m sorry it wasn’t that much of a party in the end” “Eh, we make it a party together, so” “Yeah”

So, once more I want to point out a couple of things: there is no reason, aside from Dream’s conditioning, for Tommy to feel grateful that Dream didn’t take away his means to defend himself, nor is there any reason for Tommy to be the one apologizing for the party turning out the way it did. But also one other thing I want to point out is Dream’s insistence over them having fun together, which he keeps saying even later on during the prison visits. And I want to point that out because I do really think that Dream believes that or that he, at the very least, does try to convince himself of it. I’m still not entirely sure on that point, but, by now, I’m fairly sure that Dream really does believe that him and Tommy are his warped and toxic version of what “friends” would be...

“I should have died and then- and then I didn’t! I should have died...” (suicidal thoughts)

*Tommy reaching the maximum height with the trident* “I’m alone...” (just a very famous scene here, but also keeping to the theme of loneliness even when other people are around, in this case Dream)

“Just- just build a guest tent Dream! You’re probably gonna be the one who stays in the most so... since you’re my guest” 

*Dream standing inside the guest tent* “I’m in- I’m in my tent my tent” (the implications I mentioned before)

“Maybe I’m just gonna stay here, maybe I’m just gonna live here instead” (referring always to the guest tent and Logstedshire)

This all ends with Dream gifting Tommy the throwing trident (which he then puts in his enderchest) and Tommy also gains a zombie head from their mob hunting.

“Let me keep the other trident please” “What the one that you can throw?” “Yeah” “Okay Tommy, I’ll let you keep it” “Really?” “Yeah, as a gift, a beach party gift. You can remember our bonding experience from today” “Awww, thank you” (this is the conversation as a frame of reference)

“Listen Dream, what do we do now, then? If no-one is gonna come and visit me, what do I do?” “Nah, I’m visiting you!” (Dream really is convinced to me as much the center of Tommy’s universe as he is of his, huh?)

“Dream, as much as I’m feeling happy, I’m not. I’m not Dream. Where do we go from here?” “Uhm, I think that you will come around to liking it here, and you’ll build up your own ‘empire’ here, and you’ll be happy and maybe they’ll come and visit you- like you said! You said the thing about all, like, power right? You have no power and now they don’t visit you, maybe you’ll be- you’ll be back in power and then they’ll...” “I’ll always be exiled” “Yeah but that doesn’t mean you can’t become powerful, you can become powerful away from- away from them”

This is the closing conversation, that ends with Tommy entering the sea and disconnecting once he is on only one bubble of air left. Which, by the way, is a case of Tommy dissociating, which we know because he always later seems confused when logging in and finding himself in the water (meaning the confrontation with Jack at the hotel wasn’t the first case of him dissociating).

Also, while Dream is spewing all of this stuff about how “Tommy can still be powerful here” it’s obvious that that’s not the case. Tommy is not allowed armour or weapons and he is basically not allowed any allies (what with Dream sending Ghostbur away, intercepting Ranboo’s mail and making sure to keep away from Tommy as much as possible). Tommy is quite literally stuck in a position of powerlessness that he cannot escape from with someone who actually enjoys having him at his weakest.

I’ll leave it here for today, because this was literally one of the most intense streams so I had quite a lot to say and this became so damn long... I’ll probably condense the next two together.