#not that i actually think i have a brain tumour

[semiotomatics]

slept like 15 hours, which is great, but also (seemingly) spent that entire time having one long, incredibly vivid nightmare, which is. not so great

[sundrop-writes]

Mister Mxyzptlk

Stiles Stilinski x Fem!Reader Blurb

Word Count: 800

Sundrop's Main Masterlist

Warnings: mentions of bullying (Stiles being bullied for having a 'weird' name); mentions of Stiles's trauma surrounding his mother's death; obscure comic book references; this is mostly just fluff - very light implications toward sexual themes, flirting and romantic attraction between Stiles and the reader.

A/N: So, the last time I was actively watching Teen Wolf (when S3 and S4 were airing) I thought it was a running gag that Stiles's real name was never revealed and it was just always a mystery to the audience (like how it's a gag in Degrassi that Heather St. Claire's face is never seen). But when I saw a tiktok showing his real name, I was shocked, and then entirely amused by it. And I was also really offended because I'm watching S1 for the first time and the coach calls Stiles's name 'child abuse' and his father doesn't even dispute that, knowing that it's a family name to honour his dead mother's side of the family. And the fact that he is a character whose real name is very hard to pronounce and very few people actually know what it is got me thinking about the comic book character - Mister Mxyzptlk - and I realized that Stiles, being a comic book nerd who is always referencing things like The Incredible Hulk and Batman and Robin, would fucking love that comparison. Thus, this mini fic. Usually, this is an idea I would save and put it as a moment in a longer fic, but I'm not currently working a fic where I feel like this fits in, so it has become its own mini fic. Random idea, but enjoy this random fluff.

...

"Is Stiles your real name?"

You inquired lightly, walking out of school with Scott and Stiles.

"It's something I've been wondering since we met."

Stiles felt a unique anxiety clutch in his chest at this question. He hated telling people his real name, especially when those people were pretty girls. Especially when they were pretty girls he had only met a week ago who were new in town who otherwise didn't know what a reputation he had for being a loser and could form their own opinions of him.

He could see any chance he had with you being flushed down the drain at top speed. But it wasn't much different from any other girl he previously had a crush on.

"Cause, I thought maybe it was your last name. Guys who play sports usually do that - always call each other by their last names." You went on, not sensing the awkwardness as Scott and Stiles eyed each other heavily, waiting for the other person to speak. "But I heard the coach calling you Balinski?"

"Stilinski." Stiles corrected you. "I think he gets my name wrong on purpose to belittle me." He gave a fake laugh to play it off, but you frowned.

"Stiles is a nickname." Scott added on, trying to usher Stiles away from the awkwardness of having to tell you himself. "His real first name is... really hard to pronounce, and not a lot of people at our school even know it. So - everyone just knows him as Stiles."

This brought Stiles back to a painful memory - in fourth grade, someone had seen the attendance sheet with his real name on it, and showed it to everyone else. And this had started a barrage of bullying and rumours about how he had gotten the name.

Some said that his mother hated him as soon as he was born and wanted to name him something really ugly to match him. Some said that his mother had a brain tumour and she named him in such an odd manner because her brain was 'mush' when he was born. And whenever people in the halls mockingly called him 'tumour baby' or 'brain tumour' - then he had to painfully be reminded of his mother's absence from his life.

"So you're like Mister Mxyzptlk?" You posed, a smile coming across your face from the joy of making such an apt reference.

Stiles looked at you then, unsure if he had heard you correctly - but his heart started to beat faster and he was sure that his crush developed into full, heart-stopping love in that moment.

A gorgeous, cute, sweet girl like you making such an obscure dorky reference - there was nobody else. Nobody else would ever make him feel the way you had in that moment.

Scott was entirely confused, looking between the two of you with utter dumbness across his face, wondering why Stiles' heart rate had increased so much.

"Ugh - yeah." Stiles stuttered out awkwardly. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"So, is learning your real name the power to defeating you?" You posed, smoothing your voice into a sultry tone, stepping closer to Stiles, running a hand up his bare forearm - clearly flirting now. "Do I get three chances to moan it in your ear without making a mistake before you're allowed to do whatever you want to me?"

Scott regretted his super-hearing, being able to catch exactly what you said in a low whisper against Stiles's ear.

Stiles's brain was short-circuiting.

You were making nerdy references and coming onto him now. His blood was rioting between rushing to his pants and giving him a heart attack, and soon, before he could stop it, he practically shouted:

"Marry me!"

And while this would have been a colossally awkward fumble with any other girl, you simply giggled and smiled.

"You're so cute." You complimented in return, reaching out to gently 'boop' a finger against his nose.

Stiles continued to gape at you, feeling like he needed to say more, needed to communicate just how epicly wonderful you were in his eyes.

"Chocolate? Or vanilla? Our wedding cake could have 4 tiers, or we could get one of those cupcake tower things, I heard those are really trendy."

You let out another laugh, thinking that he was joking - not realising that he was already picking out an engagement ring in his head, and wondering which comic book characters you would name your children after.

"We can start with a date." You told him. "Friday. After the game."

He nodded.

"Yes, date." He agreed eagerly. "A date would be amazing."

"I have to get going now." You added on - and he felt like he was floating when you leaned in and kissed him on the cheek before you departed. "See you later?"

"Everyday for the rest of our lives." Stiles mumbled quietly, entirely love-struck.

"What the hell was that?" Scott asked, still entirely baffled.

"We shall have a spring wedding." Stiles replied, his eyes still locked on your back as you walked away - clearly, he was still caught up in the euphoria of the interaction.

Scott had to drag him away.

[take-me-home-crabapple-cove]

no cause I'm sitting here at 2am thinking about Alan Alda. I haven't watched an episode of MASH in months. I honestly think he lives in my brain like a tiny benign tumour and whispers mashrot into my subconscious because why the actual fuck am I acting like I have MASHmania or something

[ub-sessed]

I might need a little encouragement to fix the hat I'm knitting for my daughter.

I don't actually think it's fixable. Or rather, I think it would be significantly faster to just frog the whole thing and just knit it again. But it's such a small mistake that it doesn't seem worth all that effort. But it's in a very prominent spot.

Long story short, I got into a weird compulsive zone (?) in the middle of the night last week and spent three hours pulling all of the "slack" out of my floats. I pulled it all out right through the cast on and everything. Ended up with a tail almost three feet long. (Looking at it makes me feel like I have a brain tumour. Why would I do this??)

Anyway, the point is that now when my daughter puts the hat on, the start of round (which is right at the front of the hat) looks like shit, because it turns out that Patty Lyons' method for avoiding the jog at the start of the round is especially finicky about tension (it creates a super convoluted path for the yarn. I imagine it works better if you're not using super bulky yarn).

If I reknit it, I won't do anything to avoid the jog (I've tried two different techniques now, and neither of them look good with this super bulky yarn), I'll just put it at the back of the hat where it will be mostly hidden by the tip of the hat hanging down. It will look way better, and won't take very long because, like I said, super bulky yarn.

It feels like a bit of an overreaction, but it might be worth it to be able to feel like my daughter is walking around in a hat I'm actually proud of.

[angryschnauzer]

19th February 2024

An update.

Hubby has finished his radiotherapy. It seemed like a long 6 weeks, and its taken its toll on him with extreme fatigue. He was also on a mild dose of chemotherapy at the same time, that thankfully didn't come with any side affects such as nausea, but he was on anti sickness meds for that.

He'll now have about 4 weeks off all treatment to allow his body to recover and to try and regain some strength. But during those 4 weeks he'll have some tests and MRI's to see if the tumour is growing back.

Then from mid march he will have 6 rounds of strong chemotherapy, with one week on, three weeks off. This will be a much stronger dose so the nausea side affects may be considerably more than the small dose he had with his radiotherapy.

What we don't know is what the prognosis is. We don't know if he has 6 months, 18 months, 5 years, whatever. And now we aren't told either. They wont be pinned down to a 'you have x amount of months left' because its been found this is much more detrimental to patients mental health (and also their families) as if the patent passes away before then there is resentment that the prognosis was wrong, or if the patient lives longer there is also resentment as to 'why did we rush to do the bucket list' when i actually had more time.

This however is impacting my mental health. The uncertainty of what the future holds, and what plans i can make for the future. There are trips with our son's school that i've had to ask the school to make special exceptions for us with where we'd like a space reserved but can't commit to it. Same with any sort of commitment or plan for the future.

Hubby however is fairly relaxed about it all. I honestly think he thinks its going to be cured. He plans on going back to work from start of March, but working the equivalent of 1 day a week spread over 5 days, so around 2 hours a day. This would be working remotely from home, and i do support this as he needs something to concentrate on, but its hard to imagine what future life is going to be like. He can't drive for another 2.5 yrs (one year after his seizure, and then 2 after radiotherapy because it was on his brain), so he won't be able to commute into the office anyway by car, and he can't go via train as he can't carry a bag because of his reconstruction surgery on his shoulder.

Thankfully his employers have been wonderful about this, and we are covered for the bills financially as well but will have to tighten our belts with a lot of things. I'm still trying to work and keep my business going, but finding the time to do so is tough as i'm now basically a full time carer for two people; my son and my husband. (The government doesn't consider the work i do for them 'enough' to pay an allowance though').

So that's were we're at. We've had a lot of other shit thrown at us since the start of the year too, but its not as important as the situation with my husband so that's what i'll keep you updated on.

[criticsstuff]

Counting the seconds (Series)

Addison Montgomery x freader

Chapter 1: seconds

Words: 1444

Summary: Back in Seattle you’re not just dealing with a tumour, you met a amazing woman that is eventually going to change your life.

Warnings: in this chapter none but swearing, later I promise you smut, angst, cheating and more.

Updates: Weekly

A/n: This is my first fanfic and English is not my first language. I’m sry if something isn’t perfect. Anyway my first project will be a series obviously. I just thought I’m going to start with something big. And I’m open for requests ;)

Navigation Part2 Part 3 Part4

—————————————————————

Rain pooling down the drained window like the tears you kept in, now freely falling. Too long you were standing there, just staring at the wall, the floor, the ceiling. Funny isn’t it ? How fast time can run, chasing the long gone minutes.

Shit, I don’t wanna be late- you thought. You grabbed the few things you haven’t packed jet and stumbled out the door.Your flight to Seattle in 2 hours is leaving your throat dry. But to be totally honest you’re excited to see them again. Mer and Arizona were pushing you to visit them again. Yeah, anyway now you’re the one pushing with a tumour housing in your brain.

Lifting your large luggage off the ground and on the treadmill, to finally get checked in, is the last thing you do before you sit on the plane and lay your safety belt on. 6 hours feel long, so high above the ground. You’re not willing to stay awake the whole flight, so you shut your eyes, slowly drifting off as you hear the soft humming of the plane getting quieter.

****

After being undisturbed for almost the whole flight you finally wake up. The tall, slightly scary looking man sitting next to you, wasn’t too thrilled by the crying toddler a few seats ahead and decided to murmur and huff complaints in his beard. You use the left time to think about Seattle, to be more concrete you think about the people in Seattle, your people.

You haven’t seen them too often, after Derek died. It just hadn’t felt right to come and visit, you should’ve, now that you think about it. The distance being so short, makes you miss them even more. But this time you visit not just as a friend, you’re a patient. The word never scared you -patient- it sounds so small. Now you’re the patient and it scares the hell out of you. Why?

The plane is about to land and you’re about to see your friends. Stepping of the plane, you lift your head and take a deep breath , inhaling the fresh air seeping trough your lungs. It feels okay to be back, maybe even great.

You pick up your luggage and leave the airport to get a taxi. You already talked to Meredith about your visit and she gladly offered you to crash at her house. Not wanting to spend your first day back in some random hotel, you accepted thankful .

The ride was calm and you thought about ways to don’t make the reunion awkward. You couldn’t blame Mer to be mad. You just left and barely even called. As the taxi neared the location you couldn’t shake off the nervousness climbing up your throat. Too long you were gone, too long you missed mer.

You paid the taxi driver and left the car, headed to her front door, gulping down a not exisiting knot. You counted the steps you made and took one last long breath before you knocked. It didn’t took long for the blonde women to walk down the stairs, straight to the door.

She looked at you, she nearly stabbed you with her sharp stare. Probably you would’ve end up running if she hadn’t stopped looking at you like that . Instead of the nearly cold stare she offered you one of her smiles. „Well, look who decided to actually visit.“ she grinned at you, taking your wrists pulling you in a warm embrace. „I missed you.“ you murmured in her hair hugging her even tighter.

„No need to strangle me!“ she laughed pushing you inside. „You can have your old room back.“ she said practically dragging you and your luggage up the stairs. You missed this. You couldn’t wait to see the others. „I will probably spend the whole time in the hospital.“ you mentioned tapping on your head. To point out the thing with the tumour chilling in your brain.

„Yeah, probably.“ she whispered turning around to look at you. You just looked at each other sharing unspoken words. You were both scared, even if you wouldn’t say it out loud. You shake your head trying to throw the odd feeling away.

„Anyway, today is the day. So hospital is my next stop, do you mind coming with me later?“ you asked trying to lighten the mood. „Of course, I have a shift later so it’s perfect. How about we two catch up ?“ she ask throwing herself on your bed. You smiled, laying next to her.

****

There you were, walking trough the hallways of the grey Sloan memorial hospital, with Mer on your left and Arizona on your right side. In every step you made, laid fear. Would you walk out again? Would you survive? You were promised on of the greatest neurosurgeons, one that ist going to help you. And hopefully save you.

„Here we are. You can settle in and Dr. Shepherd will be here in a bit.“ Arizona told you smiling. „Thank you, see you two later.“ you said reaching your bed and laying your stuff on it. They walked out, looking happy to have you again, even as a patient.

You took your clothes and put them in your wardrobe, feeling kinda weird. Obviously you aren’t used to live in a hospital. Finished with organizing your things you sat on the bed, staring at your hands. Damm it, why would you of all people get a tumour?

Clicking heels break your thoughts, urging you to look up. A woman with dark long hair walked in, smiling , with a nervous looking man by her side. “Hello there. Deluca would you mind presenting?”she questioned even if it wasn’t a question. “But make it simple.” you said, not wanting to hear more than needed.

He nodded “ 28, female, with a tumour in her head. Here for a final removal of the tumour.” presented the young man fast, holding your chart in his hands. “So Y/N the plan is that I will observe your tumour over the next couple of days. We will make daily tests to make sure we don’t miss anything and after that you can say your final goodbyes to the tumour.“ Dr Shepherd told you looking at the charts.

„Sounds good“ you said trying to smile not really happy with your long stay at the hospital. „Can you change, I would like to do a Ct.“ she added, looking at you with kind eyes.

****

After spending two days in the hospital, you got bored staying in your room all day. Deciding to stop sulking around you got up and found things to do. Currently walking down the hallway with Mer, to kill your boredom, you saw her.

Orange locks effortlessly laying on her shoulders, confidence laying in her step as she made her way towards you. Addison Montgomery, yeah you knew her. Well you never really talked but, the beautiful woman was well known across your friends. You stopped, not daring to come one step near her. So as she stopped in front of you and Mer, piercing right trough you with her daring eyes, she knocked your breath right out of you.

„Hey, Addison“ Mer smiled at her. But Addison was still looking at you tilting her head with a curious smile. „And you are?“ she questioned. You couldn’t stop looking at her, she was literally perfect. She raised her eyebrows, wondering why you wouldn’t answer. „That’s Y/N, you might have seen her before. She is a really good friend of mine.“ Meredith answered for you, chuckling at your loss of words. At that you took your self together trying to get at least one word out, not wanting to look like a complete fool. „What she said.“ you said looking anywhere but at her.

Addison smiled clearly amused by the strange behaviour you showed. „What are you two up to?“ she asked still smiling, lifting her hand to push a strand of hair out of her face. „Walking.“ was all you said trying to find a way to leave this conversation as fast as possible. „Yeah, I see that.” she remarked holding her laughter back. „Y/n here, is bored so she forced me to go on a hospital walk with her.” Mer mentioned looking at you, acting annoyed to tease you. „How about you go on walk with Y/n ? I’m sure she wants to get to know you.” she asked Addison, clearly trying to kill you.

Before anyone could say a word, you turned around. „You know what, I forgot I’m pretty busy dealing with my tumour. I have to go!” you announced, already running of. Leaving the two women stunned behind.

[luna-rainbow]

i don't know if you've been asked about this before but do you think bucky suffers seizures because of hydra? if yes, did they start while being under hydra or after getting freed??

Thanks for the ask!

I think this is one of those things that you can headcanon either way because there’s enough in canon to justify either reading of it.

A few things to set the scene:

Seizures can be provoked (from an acute medical event) or unprovoked, although unprovoked seizures can also be due to an underlying cause (e.g. tumours or brain injuries). In general, provoked seizures occur only with the acute medical event, and does not develop into epilepsy (unless that medical event causes structural damage to the brain)

Epilepsy is defined as 2 unprovoked seizures or 1 unprovoked seizure with an underlying structural cause that significantly increases the risk of a 2nd seizure (e.g. tumours, TBIs)

There are things that Bucky experiences under Hydra that can heighten his risk for developing seizures

Bucky has the serum, which theoretically should heal any structural causes for epilepsy over time

Firstly, in order to join the military, Bucky did not have epilepsy (as it's one of the exclusions), which means if Bucky does later have seizures, it is acquired, i.e. something occurred to cause him to have seizures. People can develop epilepsy as an adult with no underlying structural cause and it's not actually uncommon (I'm reading something up to 60% of adults with epilepsy have no cause found) - but for the sake of the discussion and the fact that he has the serum on board, we'll say that he doesn't have an inherent predisposition for seizures.

Secondly, there are a number of things that increases Bucky's chance of having a symptomatic seizure and having epilepsy.

Traumatic brain injury, e.g. from the initial fall, assaults, repeated concussion etc

Acquired brain injury, e.g. from having his basal ganglia dissected (thanks Black Widow), from repeated electrocution, from repeated cryostasis, from Steve strangling him until he loses consciousness...

Metabolic derangement, e.g. from severe dehydration/starvation or as part of severe illness

Drug toxicity or withdrawal, e.g. excessive amphetamine/cocaine (as often given to soldiers), or withdrawal from benzodiazepine or certain classes of painkillers

There has been no evidence that ECT causes epilepsy. However, there is evidence that electrocution with injury to the central nervous system can cause epilepsy.

I feel like I've seen headcanons on why a) Bucky can walk off the Widow’s stinger like it’s nothing when even Nat gets knocked out by it; and b) Rumlow’s weapon of choice against Steve is electric rods. I tend to agree with guesses that Bucky probably experienced electrocution enough to develop some tolerance to it -- but over time that can certainly cause structural damage to the brain. Similarly, cutting into the brain to look at the basal ganglia would also definitely leave scarring that would precipitate seizures.

(Okay I know this is not the question and this answer is getting super long already, but can I just say this 2 second scene gets to me every time? Nat says "Ow, that does sting" when she uses it on herself later. Bucky tears it off with his bare hand. Does it not hurt? Of course it hurts. His metal arm is immobilised from that shock, and his entire arm is metal which feeds the whole shock into his body. The only acknowledgement he affords himself is to shake that arm out to get it back in working order. More than the unstoppable "Terminator"-like threat, this is someone who's backed against a cliff. Pain is not an option. Stopping is not an option. There is just him, against the rest of this noisy, chaotic, meaningless world, fighting an endless battle...until that mask comes off and he's given a name.)

For practicality’s sake though, I think Hydra would have been cautious to avoid giving Bucky brain damage that was severe enough to cause epilepsy. The unpredictability of epilepsy is the reason it's often an exclusion criteria for commercial licenses and operating heavy machinery and, in Bucky's case, flying planes and firing semi-automatic weapons. It's certainly not desirable in someone they've deemed "the Asset" whom they bring out when everything else fails. Alternatively, they might have figured out how long Bucky's brain needed to heal before sending him out to be operational again (but this still means they would avoid causing epilepsy if they can). This doesn't mean they won't place him in situations that can cause provoked seizures though - i.e. the drug toxicity/withdrawal and severe malnutrition and severe illness/infection type scenarios.

During his recovery phase, I think drug withdrawal and severe malnutrition (i.e. if he's not aware of how to feed himself) are possible causes of seizures. The risk is only high during a fairly short period of time (a couple of days) though and he is likely to be very, very unwell. If you're wanting to write him having seizures months down the track, one possibility might be he was on a cocktail of anti-seizure medications under Hydra (although I'd still wince at letting him touch a machine gun or a plane in that state) and he now no longer had access to those, so he continues to have seizures from structural brain damage (take your pick). My headcanon is that ultimately his brain will heal and the epilepsy would resolve.

And finally, are we ready for a conversation about pseudoseizures (non-epileptic or psychogenic seizures)? They are often associated with psychiatric conditions like depression, anxiety, PTSD and dissociative disorders, all of which Bucky would have reason to have.

[starlightseraph]

on two of the most controversial episodes of house md

the asexuality episode:

mixed feelings. it’s often brought up a lot as a total swing and miss but idk about it being completely wrong. i’m a-spec myself (demi) and the way he talks about it is weird, but this is something that genuinely happens. one of the symptoms of damage in that area of the brain is lack of sexual feelings, and some people will simply never develop a sense of sexuality, completely unaware that they actually have a brain tumour. nearly all asexual people are just ace without any particular cause, so there’s no reason to worry unless you have other concerns or health issues.

so anyways. i think that it was a plausible medical story, because it does happen. traumatic brain injuries, seizures, tumours, certain medications, hypoxia, pregnancy/birth complications, strokes, all of these can lead to absence of or reduced sexual urges.

my issue is the way he reacts to it, as if this guy has to have some illness and he can’t just be asexual. i know that house only acts that way because his immediate reaction to everything is to be as offensive as possible, and he wants to find something interesting to make a bet on with wilson, but it’s still uncomfortable.

i guess it turned out alright for the patient? it’s good that he finds out about the tumour and can get it treated, because even a benign tumour can be life threatening or become cancerous. still, though, not great.

the (first) intersex episode:

yeah ok no justification for this one. what was going through the minds of the writers?? like the basic story had potential but they went and made it creepy as fuck and wrote house’s reactions in a way that’s harsh, even for him. his insults are generally just defensive and clearly not meant in a discriminatory way. he treats everyone badly all the time, so his words are almost never based in actual bigotry. but his treatment of the patient in this episode is extreme, and he goes way beyond his normal limits. it doesn’t even fit well with his character, it’s just so purely mean spirited. so yeah fuck this one.

[toaarcan]

I think Fiona's betrayal makes way more sense and fits into the narrative better if you simply bump it to after the destruction of Knothole.

Like, in the actual comic it kinda comes out of nowhere, and it's heavily tied into the romance plot tumours and Issue 150. Fiona's actual character is barely important, she just disappears for five issues and comes back with a new personality, her old trauma in high gear again (but girl, if you're mad at Sonic for abandoning you, why the feck are you running off with Second Sonic Who Is Worse?), and an ideology that makes zero sense with her history ("You can't count on anybody" says character who has literally never been independent and will never become independent).

And the fallout is incredibly understated and after literally two issues nobody cares any more except Tails. And he's done caring after 179 closes.

Betrayal is supposed to be impactful.

But if you shuffle the order of the stories around, don't even change the actual content, then the whole thing becomes a buttery-smooth consistent arc and Fiona's character development, while not a good thing in the long run (Scourge literally would've killed her in 196 if his plan had succeeded, she traded the stunningly mediocre partner that was Sonic for a literal monster), actually makes sense and is front and centre in her story, instead of what we got, which is "Fiona ascends from background character to weird love interest to an accessory for Scourge who is defined entirely by Scourge."

Fiona being driven by her trauma to hate Sonic for leaving her behind is a reasonable angle, it's where she started in the Knuckles comic, but it's been so long since that was relevant to her character that dredging it up years after the fact in a different book would only ever be jarring. Unless, say, history repeated itself and all those wounds got opened up again.

Eggman drops out of the sky, razes her home to the ground, and shoves her in a prison to be used as fodder for one of his sick creations, just like Robotnik did all those years ago. Only this time, the prison is so small that she can barely even move, and the machine she's going to be fed into is much worse. It'll kill her, twice over, draining her life-force to power Eggman's machinery and wiping her mind for no reason other than "Eggman's a sadistic asshole."

She gets to see the effects up-close too, via Charmy's brain damage.

And while it's unnecessary, as I think the actual plot of the issues needs no alterations to make sense, you could nonetheless add a small scene during the rescue where Sonic saves Fiona from the Egg Grapes and says he won't make that mistake again. A small hope spot before it all comes crashing down.

Because it does! The arc ends with the Freedom Fighters standing triumphant over a wrecked Egg Beater. They could easily grab Eggman and drag him into the brand-new prison that Nicole put Mogul, Naugus, and the Hooligans in. They have turned their darkest hour into an opportunity to win the war... and they don't take it.

Eggman flies off, clinging to an Egg Flapper and doing the "I'll get you next time, Gadget! Next tiiiiiime!" bit, and the heroes just... stand there.

And that's where the (hypothetical) hope spot gets dashed. Fiona, already uncertain of her place in the team after 160-1, loses faith in them completely. She just lived through the worst experience of her life again and the heroes of this world are doing nothing to prevent another repeat.

It even makes her "You can't count on anybody" line actually have some weight. She genuinely feels like she's been failed by them, that she put her trust in these people and they still turned on her at a moment's notice, and they're not doing enough to actually save the world. It's like Scourge says in 172- she "wishes [Sonic] had a backbone."

And then, after all that, there's the big Fiona Betrayal Issue except now it's actually about Fiona and not just about giving Scourge a girlfriend, and that's followed immediately by the Sonic vs. Tails issues. There's no time to process what just happened, everyone's emotions are still extremely raw, and it boils over into a fight between brothers that's more about venting all those nasty emotions they've been holding in for a while now. Sonic has been through a lot lately, he just lost his home and repeated one of his few failures, and he's not long lost Tommy too. Tails is dealing with emotions that he's not mature enough to process properly and healthily, he grew up too fast, but not evenly. And at the end of the day, they're both still just kids.

I still think 179's ending is an overall horrible way to to resolve that plot thread, and further reduces Fiona to an object to be fought over, but I'm not heavily changing the content of the issues, only the context.

I've never been a fan of villain!Fiona, I've made that clear in the past. I like it as a step on a journey that results in her healing, but I found its start confusing and messy and the rest of the arc lacklustre and far too focused on Scourge, rather than Fiona herself. But I think putting it in this order makes it flow a lot better for me.

If I write Sonic stuff again, I'll probably do it with this as a headcanon of what went down in the 170s.

[sugdenlovesdingle]

I can't with this storyline anymore! I know many people want John to end up as a villain but there are so many villains now. Ruby’s whole story with abuse right after Belle’s is too much! Would Emmerdale really create another villain/abuser so soon? I don't like this whole Ruby storyline. Why couldn't they just write stories for the characters already here? She is so new and always on! Aaron is a popular/veteran character but is never used and when he is it's for a 2-minute screen once a month. I'm so over it.

I mean i'd be ok with them making john a villain (and acknowledge wendy is scum).

I LIKE Ruby (and Caleb) but starting this abuse story when Belle's isn't even finished yet (and has been dragged out beyond belief) is A Choice. Like is it not enough to bring in the long lost daughter? Does it have to be the dad too? Who has cancer AND turned out to have raped his daughter more than once (young Ruby said "not today" - she knew what was coming) and likely fathered his own grandchild. And on top of that she slept with her brother in law (who is dealing with his wife having a brain tumour) and her father will most likely use that to blackmail her into staying quiet about the abuse.

Then we have the Tom nonsense that I'm sick to death of that has everyone plot stupid. First Amelia and Jimmy, now Angelica - just end it already!

Liam only gets screentime because he's fucking Chas. I used to like them, but after the will they/wont they and nonsense with Ella i'm sick of them.

Brenda and Eric split up because he had a flash of insanity thanks to his meds (???) and lost all of their money to bitcoin

Mack and Charity are dealing with Ross coming back

Marlon and Rhona are also dealing with Ross coming back - but via April

whatever the fuck is going on with Kim and Will (I don't really pay attention to that story, they're boring)

Dawn and Billy - the illegal fighting is done? I think? They still have a baby with cancer and constant money problems.

Ella, Leyla, Brenda are all leaving in the next few months (I'm guessing)

Aaron - wasn't at Cain's birthday party, hasn't been involved in any recent dingle nonsense, apparently loves his boyfriend? Not that we've actually seen them together... he's always teaming up with Mack for dodgy deals.

Gail and Ryan - April mentioned them yesterday? but they haven't been on screen in ages, and haven't had a story since... the Oscar thing?

Matty and Amy GOT MARRIED IN MAY, Matty got sent down a few weeks later, then beaten up in prison and magically released again in the span of like - 6 weeks? and then disappeared. Moira having seizures, brain surgery, and now radio therapy... and Amy isn't there supporting her mother in law and her husband? She wasn't at Cain's birthday party, even though he's her husband's step father, and the father of her son.

Vic - no real story to speak of, despite the whole Sugden family revival that was supposed to happen with John.

Jacob, Noah, Sarah, Amelia - apparently Jacob and Sarah start dating soon, Amelia is leaving next week, and Noah... apparently invested money in bitcoin?

Tracy, Vanessa, Suzy, Leyla - No story there. Tracy gets to work in the shop and complain about child care, Leyla is leaving soon, Vanessa and Suzy?? are... still together?? I guess? I don't even remember when Suzy was last on screen.

Laurel, Arthur, Gabby - Arthur got a few lines the other day with April but after the failed hook up with that lad a while ago, he's practically been MIA. Laurel had her fling with Charles and then kind of disappeared again? Gabby and Vinny got together and lived in off screen land ever since.

Paddy and Meatloaf - thankfully very much off screen lately

Jai - the eternal bad guy (and I'm so done with that story)

Charles, Manpreet, Claudette - all mostly off screen thankfully

Rodney - gets to work in the cafe and comment on the Tom of it all from time to time

if they're not Chas/Charity/Cain or adjacent characters, they don't get screentime or a story.

[stxrdust-widow]

Ok controversial Bones opinion apparently, but I didn’t think that they ruined her character once she got pregnant like ☹️ I keep seeing people saying they couldn’t watch after season 6/7 because Brennan was so different but like, was she really? I don’t think it was out of character for her to have kids, even though she didn’t want them in the first few seasons, but apparently we’re all forgetting that people can change their minds, not to mention the fact that Brennan was already actively planning on getting pregnant at the end of s4 and might have gone through with it had Booth not had the brain tumour.

I don’t think having kids changed her character as drastically as people claim, but instead maybe created another side to her character. And I don’t think getting with Booth undid any of her character arc either. It certainly was a different dynamic than their pre-relationship, but I still liked it. I’m a sucker for love I guess. I mean, I certainly wish that the way they ended up together was a little different and that we could have seen the moment that their romantic tension finally broke, but I’ll take what I can get. I actually enjoyed watching her learn to trust in Booth as her romantic partner as well as her work partner, because she’d never been open to furthering a romantic relationship before, and I liked seeing her come into her own and maybe heal a little bit of her trauma by being in a loving, supportive relationship and being able to reciprocate with her children as well (if that makes sense).

Also, I’m not saying that a couple has to have kids to be complete, because fair if you don’t want any- they’re a huge commitment and not to everyone’s liking lol- but I feel that Booth and Bones would have ended up with at least one anyways had Emily Deschanel not have been pregnant post s6. It may not have been in the traditional way, but it’s already established canonically that Bones wanted a kid like??? And yes, I headcanon that once she and Booth settle in their careers a little more, they start fostering- would have been nice to see on the show but a girl can dream.

Anyway long story short I believe in character development and I don’t think Bones’ character development was destroyed in the later seasons.

Also, please ignore this rant. Just needed to get it out ig.

[pansysgothgf]

The Buddie Grey’s Anatomy AU I wrote is done so here’s the rest of my moodboards for it + the rambling thoughts I have about the characters :)

Hen!! Hen’s the character I was the most excited about but also the character I feel like I did the least with because as much as I adore Cristina, so many of her plot points in the show seemed to revolve around her truly horrific boyfriends/fiancés/husbands. My hatred of Owen Hunt runs deep, so Karen ended up being partially inspired by Burke. I ended up mostly focusing on Hen and Buck becoming friends, but I do wish I got to spend a little more time on her :(

I ended up sharing Bailey’s plot lines and character between Maddie and Chim, which I’m pretty happy with tbh! My favourite scene to write with them was actually the first one of theirs I wrote for this fic, which was my whumptober submission that ended up being a chunk of chapter two. While they’re mostly based after Bailey, Maddie also reminded me a little bit of Jo (both of them surviving abusive husbands) and I gave her one of April’s plot lines in the final chapter, which was exciting! I did briefly consider incorporating Lexi, Molly or Maggie’s plot lines in for Maddie (the whole ‘secret sibling’ thing) but it just didn’t work with the way I set it up.

LUCY MY LOVE!! I became so unintentionally attached to Lucy while writing this so she got WAY more plot than I was initially intending haha! There’s something so magical about watching the first few seasons of Grey’s and seeing the dynamic between all of the roommates, which I tried really hard to incorporate into the fic. Then I realized I’d become attached to Lucy and Ravi and went… oh shit I’m going to have to actually give them plots rip. I had so much fun choosing which Izzie plots to give to Lucy since Izzie has some really amazing stuff to work with in the show. I ended up going with the two biggest plots (imo). Because I changed so much though, I ended up combining Izzie’s cancer plot line and Amelia’s brain tumour to create what I ended up with. I’m pretty happy with it, honestly, I hope I built it up sufficiently enough :)

Ravi!!! Ravi is what people wish George O’Malley could’ve been. As I’ve previously stated, I do not like the majority of Grey’s men, and this includes George. I ended up focusing mostly on George’s issues with confidence and his complicated relationship with his family. I also elected not to go the bus route with Ravi, you’re all welcome. Fun fact! I made Lena the orthopaedic surgeon because my biggest crack ship in all of 9-1-1 is Lena/Ravi. I headcannon them to be a lesbian and a gay man but they match each other’s freak, and they’re both just as surprised about it as anyone.

Honourable mentions (aka characters I want to yap about but didn’t make moodboards for):

Shannon: I based Shannon off of Addison Forbes-Montgomery-Shepherd SPECIFICALLY because of the season 1 finale. They’re both the secret wives that show up and create chaos which I love lol. I specifically left Shannon’s ending pretty ambiguous, mainly because I don’t know if she would’ve stuck around had she lived in 9-1-1. If we’re going off of Grey’s though, she’s living her best life in LA with a group of friends who she cares a lot about. I like to think that at some point Chris reaches out (probably when he’s a lot older) and they create a tentative relationship.

Tommy: I gave Tommy elements of both Mark Sloan and Owen Hunt (just his position at the hospital because seriously, fuck Owen Hunt). I decided on Tommy as Mark before Season 7 started airing which is WILD because I basically flipped a coin between him and Sal, but went with Tommy since he showed up to fly the plane in season 2. I wrote him and Buck kissing after Buck, Bothered and Bewildered though lol! I don’t really think about what happens to Tommy after the ending of the fic, although it’s definitely not what happened to Mark. Seeing as Owen doesn’t exist in this world, neither does the plane crash <3

Ok that’s it thanks for coming to my ted talk :)

[kaiba-cave]

You wanna hear a freaking story? My parents used to have a neighbour named Nicole. She decided to sell her house and just start living in a big van and basically just road trip everywhere, spent most of her time in the States. About a year ago we started noticing that her Instagram posts were getting kind of weird. Like, crazy kind of weird. We actually were wondering if she had some sort of brain tumour or something. Apparently it was just thyroid issues though? And since then she seemed okay.

So like two or three weeks ago she showed up at my mom’s house just to kind of visit the neighborhood again, came inside and had a normal conversation with my mom and all. But then my mom started noticing her van drive by like, every single day after that. Sometimes she’d pull over and sit there a few minutes then drive away again.

Apparently yesterday my mom saw her come and park in the neighbour’s driveway (at the house where she used to live). Said neighbour saw her on their cameras put something at their front door so he called the across the road neighbour (Margaret) to have her check because he wasn’t home.

Well before Margaret could even look outside, she heard a super load crash at her front door. It wasn’t a knock it was a loud crash sound. When she opened her door Nicole was there swinging something around that was wrapped in a sweater… and when Margaret talked to her she just sort of mumbled and walked away, went and took back whatever she left at the front door of the other house, got in her van and left again.

Then later when my mom was going somewhere she found a purse hanging on the outside door handle of our house. She took it inside and opened it and it had a broken bottle of mayonnaise, a jar of honey, a tube with a joint in it, an empty glasses case, a bunch of random notes (my mom didn’t read them though), and a 2022 planner in it. The planner was wrapped up the way you’d wrap a bow around a Christmas present, except the bow was made out of plastic wrap… so of course my mom is like… wtf is this?

We’re thinking Nicole for some reason smashed her purse against Margaret’s door and that’s why the mayonnaise bottle was broken in her purse. WHY she had a bottle of mayo and a jar of honey in a purse or why she left it hanging on my mom’s front door, I have no idea.

Her Instagram posts have also been getting weird again, and she’s gotten weirdly religious or “spiritual” as she calls it. She posted a picture of a random lady at the beach saying she thought she had a bomb attached to her. She posts a lot of weird screenshots of text messages with no captions or context too. When she does have a caption it usually makes no sense.

My mom messaged her just saying “hey I think I have your purse…” but hasn’t heard anything from her.

Margaret was also telling my mom that she was talking to another lady who used to be good friends with Nicole, and she was saying that when Nicole visits her she says some really strange things. Stuff about like, pedophile rings and shit. She said she’s actually kind of scared of her now and they were really good friends.

It’s just a guess and hopefully we’re wrong but the neighbours who now live in the house that Nicole used to own are a gay couple. And you know how some super ignorant people have this stupid belief that all gay guys are pedophiles? 😐 Hopefully it’s nothing like that, never knew her to be homophobic when she lived there but she wasn’t having any mental problems back then. Plus with this weird “spiritual” stuff she’s always on about, who knows.

I’m glad they have cameras because my mom and Margaret don’t. (I keep saying Margaret needs to get them though because there’s another guy in the neighborhood who has some sort of mental problem that causes him to walk around yelling at himself and/or nothing (that we can see), who goes to her house multiple times a day to see if she’ll give him money. Then he’ll like, walk around her house and pick up a stick or two to make it look like he did some work for it. And Margaret is like an 80 year old lady that lives alone with just a dog that’s old af too. But that’s a whole other thing lmao.) I just told my mom make sure you lock the doors and if she comes over again, don’t freaking answer it. 😭

Anyway. Me thinks Nicole either needs to go to a brain doctor again or she BADLY needs the mental health ward at the hospital. She’s for sure got something going on. I will not be surprised if she shows up again and cops end up being called.

[theholypeanut]

Isekai’ed into Kuroko no Basket? AND IN YŌSEN?

Isekai genre - when someone (usually an adult girl) dies in her life (usually by being hit by truck-kun) and gets reincarnated into a novel she read (usually with multiple male leads and steamy romance, also usually fantasy world)

Certain pre-isekai life assumptions: “You” are not from Akita, or any other north city of Japan, also AFAB character pre and post isekai

Comedy crack piece, cw: swearing and being mean about knb characters, simping for Daddy Harasawa

- U came back from your university wanting to just die from amount of work and studying you had to do

- You are just a casual student, not so great, not so bad, and for stress relief you read lots of sports mangas bc of pretty sweating boys

- You decided to go to the convenience store for some instant ramen, what is a main core of your diet, and then, in your least favourite sweatpants and dirty t-shirt, u get hit by a truck

- Thinking “well at least I don’t have to give the assignment tomorrow for econ” u just waited if they have anime in hell

- And then you open your eyes, and it’s not your bed, not your room

- Actually it was a very nice neat room, looked like belonged to some teenage girl, which is also kinda alarming, that someone like this rescued a wounded adult person who looked like a homeless beggar

- However you don’t feel any pain, which is weird considering you just get hit by a truck. You sit up and noticed that u look a little… skinnier? Also your hands looked diff- Hold up.

- You looked into the mirror and it was not your reflection

- Even worse, after all you assumed if you wake up in some other body, at least this time you’d be extremely pretty with big boobs and nice ass but no luck - you were pretty but also pretty plain. Also very young

- You saw a cute uniform hanging next to your mirror and got war flashbacks. It was not your high school uniform but the fact that it was here suggests that…

- ���. You have to go back to school and you’d really rather just die, even if the uniform is pretty

- After eating breakfast with not-your-parents and wearing this pretty not-your-uniform, you fished for some information from them - which wasn’t hard bc they were very excited that you are starting your high school life today, in this prestigious Catholic school, that is well known from western influences and good food. But somehow they never told you the name.

- You tried to pretend to be very clumsy and asked not-your-parents “So what’s the name of my school again?”

- They looked at you like you are a cat who does silly tricks and not-your-mom said “Silly, how could you forget? You go to Yosen now”

- You froze. This name sounded too familiar, especially with your cute uniform. Hold up. If this is this Yosen then…

-“WAIT WE ARE IN AKITA?” You yelled with despair. At this point your parents were wondering if you have brain damage, bc how could you forget where you lived your whole life?

- U somehow convince your parents that you don’t have brain tumour or got concussed during the night, and you just had a very strange dream about living in Tokyo and confused reality with dreaming

- While walking to your dumb school in dumb Akita, you already were annoyed

- First of all, you fuckin hated snow

- And second of all, not only you got isekai’ed into a sports anime, which is probably the worst thing that could happen to the girl, because this teenage boys have basketball balls for brains, but also you ended up in Akita way away from the main plot, and you are back into your first year of highschool while mentally still being a college student in her 20’s, which kinda made you a creep

- Not only that, if this is really world of Kuroko no Basket, you ended up in a school with The Biggest (Talented) Whiny Baby and Emo Pretty Boy which seriously, are not the best cards you could get

- If you’d get into any school in Tokyo, at least you’d interact with the characters more, and if it’d be Rakuzan, it seemed like players in the team were just way more fun and diverse, while Yōsen’s whole plot was mostly Himuro’s weird homoerotic brotherhood and Murasakibara being a whiny bitch. Oh, and them being tall

- Also they show up in the anime only in Winter Cup arc, which means that you don’t interact with the main plot in the next half a year - so what the heck are you supposed to do till now?

- Also the fact that this is a Catholic school makes it even more ridiculous - if God exists, he’d sent you to Tōō so you can simp over the hottest coach in whole series, not send you to The North

- You found your way to the school and, well, to be fair: it was really impressive. Also people here were so freaking tall, it is ridiculous for Japan

- School for Giraffes I swear

- Building was huge, modern, pretty - no wonder your fake parents were so excited about you going here

- When you went to the announcement board to check the class you are in, very fast you realised that you are in the same class as Murasakibara

- Well, it does make sense, since this is a very typical plot armour situation - but also it makes you wonder - should you get involved in the plot at all? Become a manager for Yōsen team? Because honestly it seem like… a hassle.

- U found your way into the classroom and there was still no Purple Baby Giant. Also outside of that, everyone seem rather normal, no crazy hair colors, no one being two meters tall, no one being extremely pretty or handsome: typical NPC class in the anime

- You chose a chair next to the window, to get +10 to angst (as you are now a teenager, again)

- Bell rang and everyone took their sits, and there was still no familiar face. Is it possible, that all of this was just a huge coincidence, and you got reincarnated into some alternative universe where names are just way too familiar?

- Right when you were about to sigh with relief, the door opened and you saw a giant figure, that didn’t even fit into the frame. “I’m sorry for being late”

- I guess no one expected someone so big attend first class, so teacher asked if he is sure that’s where he supposed to be, while everyone else started gossiping. To be fair maybe later on you’d ask new classmates if they find it suspicious that his hair was purple. After explaining the issue, Murasakibara Atsushi, The Giant of Teikō, member of Generation of Miracles, sat right behind you, in the last place from the window. Well, that would be indeed rather inconvenient if he sit in the front.

- Teacher started intodrucing himself and there were some voting regarding class President - neither you or Murasakibara got elected, since it would be very inconvenient for the plot. However at the end of the lesson teacher requested all of you to write something in the notebook. “Ah, crap” you hear behind you. No freaking way, you thought. No way…

- “Hey” you felt someone touching you on the back. “Can you borrow me a pen?”

- As in a stereotypical shoujo manga scene, you took a pen out of your pencil case and turn around to face The Main Character of this school. He took it without changing his bored expression and murmured quiet thanks.

- As the break started, you were thinking about talking to him again, but just as hungry birds, people from your class gathered around purple haired boy, commenting on his height. “Whoa do you play volleyball?” “No, basketball” for a second it amused you, how interesting would be if Murasakibara get into Haikyuu (he totally should have come to Shiratorizawa). Since there was no chance to talk to him, you just took out some food not-your-mom prepared, which actually were some homemade cookies.

- “Hey” you heard the same voice again as before, but you didn’t turn this time. People were still gathered around, so he probably wasn’t speaking to you. However the crowd got quiet. “Hey, Pen Girl” you heard a little louder. If it was a car that hit you, not a truck, maybe you’ll be just peacefully dead, instead of dealing with this bullshit.

- You turned around. “What?” You said rather annoyed. You could hear how entire class collectively stopped breathing from fear. This dude was over two meters tall, and you are talking to him this way? Sounds like a death wish.

- “Can I have one?” He pointed at the cookie. Oooh… you made a fast calculation in your head. Do you want to be inserted into sports anime plot? Do you want to do this manager work and watch sweaty boys go around the ball in your free time? Do you want to make fun of Himuro’s bangs?

- You know the answer. So there was no other way. You took one more cookie into your hand, and put all others on Murasakibara’s desk. “You can have them, they are really good.”

- And there you are, a college weeb, making friends with The Whinest Highschooler in Kuroko no Basket.

- Getting a position of the basketball club manager in Yōsen was actually way harder than it should be. When you went to the coach with your application, you were denied on the spot. “We don’t need a manager” she said coldly. You did not expect that. But then she added “if you want to join Himuro’s funclub, you can do it from the spectator’s sit”

- Oooh, now it all makes sense. Amount of teenage girls who want to sniff Himuro’s sweaty towels made things harder for you. But you still decided to shoot your shot. After all, Yōsen coach was not so much older than you before you died.

- “Actually, I’m in Murasakibara’s class” you started. “We are very good friends” you put your application next to the coach on the desk, and bended a little closer to her ear and lowered your voice. “I know how to keep him motivated. Think about it”. After that you left the office and decided to put into motion your new plan: Pavloving Murasakibara

- It took one week until Coach asked you to come to the training. You’ve been preparing for this all this time. You knew that Atsushi was lazy, hated sweating and getting invested into the game, and treated everything like a hassle.

- For the past week you and Purple Giant became a very good friends. You’d always brought more food and sweets, so it wasn’t long until his mouth started watering whenever he saw your face. All according to the plan.

- “We have a rather important training match soon, and Murasakibara is not treating trainings seriously” coach sighed on your way to the gym. “It is really annoying how someone so talented has so little dedication”

- When you arrived, you’d see a crowd of girls from all classes watching guys stretching. Or should you say, one guy.

- Murasakibara was getting yelled at by the captain, probably hearing something similar you heard from the coach: to start training seriously. But the moment he saw you, his face got brighter. Ah, the power of conditioning. Thank god you took the psychology class on your first year.

- “Chibi-chin!” You heard his voice. Yes, it was a lovely nickname that he used, as you were way smaller than him. You smiled and waved your hand. Captain got distracted, as he probably never expected Coach to voluntarily bring a girl to the training. “If you can make him treat it seriously, you can be the manager. Just don’t steal Himuro’s shirts” “Can I steal his shorts tho?” Coach sent you a disgusted look. “Okay, that was a joke, no stealing”

- You went to Murasakibara. “Hey ‘Sushi!” At this point you wouldn’t be surprise if people assume you two are dating, since you had lovely nicknames for each other. “I heard that you have an important match soon” you touched his jersey and gently pull it so he will lean down to you. “You know, if you try your best on the training and win that game, I’ll ask my mom to make you a homemade cake, any flavour you’d want”

- He swallowed saliva. “Any flavour?” - You could hear excitement in his voice. “Yes” you smiled to him. “So work hard, okay, ‘Sushi?”

- That day, no one from oppose team could score any shoot against Murasakibara.

- You got manager position on the spot.

- If this was an Isekai Novel it would be called How I Became a Nanny to 208 cm Giant Baby

By slowlyholypeanut - dont steal, give credit, love live laugh or whatever

PS: I have no personal grudge against Akita, or Himuro’s bangs, however I do have a grudge against snow

[perplexingluciddreams]

I love Amelia Shepherd. She is my favourite I think. And still love Jo Wilson.

I still only got through Season 1 of Private Practice so I know I have to watch more of that to get more backstory on Amelia. (But I already gave myself many spoilers because that is what I do).

I am at Season 13 of Grey's Anatomy now. I barely noticed going from Season 12 to 13!

I think this is a show I am going to be able to rewatch over and over, it is so easy for me to watch. Comfortable and simple and straightforward and easy.

I would like to be able to watch it with more actual looking at the screen, though... that is something I really struggle with when watching things in general. Making my eyes look where I want, and processing what I see, is always a struggle, for everything.

I still do my thing of rewinding sections or scenes, until I process it. Or until I manage to pause at the right time to read subtitles. Or until I can pause at the right time to take in the "set up" of the scene and how many people and who - because I can't do that when everything moves so much. (Or until I am satisfied hearing a single line over and over because I like the inflection of the person's voice).

Anyway, I hope I get to piece together what is happening with Jo. I already know some parts and seen some scenes (I give myself spoilers), but I don't know the order or exactly how it fits together.

And the same with Amelia's brain tumour situation - I know about it and seen some scenes, but I want to see the linear story progression.

Grey's Anatomy is so much fun!

(Even if it causes intense hyperfocus and inability to think about anything else... and subsequently have less brain capacity for basic tasks and body signals and interact at all with other people, etc. etc. ... Buuuut that is just my brain and happens with everything I ever hyperfocus on! And hyperfocus is a state my brain defaults to very often. I try not to blame myself for something I can't control but still feel bad about it...).

But still so much fun!!

[pyreo]

there’s something so ideal in how fnv’s caesar is implemented as the head of a fascist cult. You meet him while he’s pretending to be cordial, he has a smokescreen of verbose intellectualism you have to have actual familiarity with to see through, and he has a proven success record and surrounds you with examples of military persuasion. Just like real fascism. It dresses itself up in ‘might not be ideal, but it works’ and ‘just debate me bro’ to legitimise itself.

he’s a hypocrite to his own values but he pontificates on fixing the world’s ills by forcing everyone into a monolithic cosplay culture, allowing no diversity of identity or thought. his legion has a horrific history that cut down families, castes, dissenters, and subjugates all women, but the guy talking to you right now gives you special privileges and sounds like he knows what he’s talking about.

and right behind him, just outside of that tent, you are in a complete pit of savage men, rejoicing in violence, torturers, rapists, supremacists. doing push-ups and dressed like total idiots because a guy who sounds smart told them to. they look absolutely ridiculous but they’re still dangerous because they’re fascists.

fascists defer to anyone able to use big words who’ll justify the violence they already want. and this is written into the game too, because in all likelihood caesar dies from a brain tumour. and then what? the smokescreen is gone. it’s done its job. caesar is the guy bitching and moaning that liberals won’t debate him. caesar is the well-dressed nazi teen getting a published cutesy interview. caesar is jordan peterson reeling in followers with junk misreadings of texts he doesn’t understand. he sanitises a violent worldview that extends an invitation to the player, and then he dies because it’s no longer necessary. the machine of cruelty stands by itself and no longer needs to hide. caesar’s replacement has one single character trait: brutality. the men who joined up, or were captured in, and now perpetuate violence are unleashed.

that is what you’re stopping in fallout new vegas. the naked truth that emulating the old world’s history simply invites back all its faults, which applies to the NCR and House too, but the Legion puts heads on pikes to make you face it. and the fact the Legion will let you join is pivotal to their execution, allowing you to doom others but not yourself, to be their special exception-- I can’t think of any other game that’s provided such a clear-cut litmus test or one that’s aged quite so well over the past 10+ years.