#not that i actually think i have a brain tumour

[semiotomatics]

slept like 15 hours, which is great, but also (seemingly) spent that entire time having one long, incredibly vivid nightmare, which is. not so great

[sundrop-writes]

Mister Mxyzptlk

Stiles Stilinski x Fem!Reader Blurb

Word Count: 800

Sundrop's Main Masterlist

Warnings: mentions of bullying (Stiles being bullied for having a 'weird' name); mentions of Stiles's trauma surrounding his mother's death; obscure comic book references; this is mostly just fluff - very light implications toward sexual themes, flirting and romantic attraction between Stiles and the reader.

A/N: So, the last time I was actively watching Teen Wolf (when S3 and S4 were airing) I thought it was a running gag that Stiles's real name was never revealed and it was just always a mystery to the audience (like how it's a gag in Degrassi that Heather St. Claire's face is never seen). But when I saw a tiktok showing his real name, I was shocked, and then entirely amused by it. And I was also really offended because I'm watching S1 for the first time and the coach calls Stiles's name 'child abuse' and his father doesn't even dispute that, knowing that it's a family name to honour his dead mother's side of the family. And the fact that he is a character whose real name is very hard to pronounce and very few people actually know what it is got me thinking about the comic book character - Mister Mxyzptlk - and I realized that Stiles, being a comic book nerd who is always referencing things like The Incredible Hulk and Batman and Robin, would fucking love that comparison. Thus, this mini fic. Usually, this is an idea I would save and put it as a moment in a longer fic, but I'm not currently working a fic where I feel like this fits in, so it has become its own mini fic. Random idea, but enjoy this random fluff.

...

"Is Stiles your real name?"

You inquired lightly, walking out of school with Scott and Stiles.

"It's something I've been wondering since we met."

Stiles felt a unique anxiety clutch in his chest at this question. He hated telling people his real name, especially when those people were pretty girls. Especially when they were pretty girls he had only met a week ago who were new in town who otherwise didn't know what a reputation he had for being a loser and could form their own opinions of him.

He could see any chance he had with you being flushed down the drain at top speed. But it wasn't much different from any other girl he previously had a crush on.

"Cause, I thought maybe it was your last name. Guys who play sports usually do that - always call each other by their last names." You went on, not sensing the awkwardness as Scott and Stiles eyed each other heavily, waiting for the other person to speak. "But I heard the coach calling you Balinski?"

"Stilinski." Stiles corrected you. "I think he gets my name wrong on purpose to belittle me." He gave a fake laugh to play it off, but you frowned.

"Stiles is a nickname." Scott added on, trying to usher Stiles away from the awkwardness of having to tell you himself. "His real first name is... really hard to pronounce, and not a lot of people at our school even know it. So - everyone just knows him as Stiles."

This brought Stiles back to a painful memory - in fourth grade, someone had seen the attendance sheet with his real name on it, and showed it to everyone else. And this had started a barrage of bullying and rumours about how he had gotten the name.

Some said that his mother hated him as soon as he was born and wanted to name him something really ugly to match him. Some said that his mother had a brain tumour and she named him in such an odd manner because her brain was 'mush' when he was born. And whenever people in the halls mockingly called him 'tumour baby' or 'brain tumour' - then he had to painfully be reminded of his mother's absence from his life.

"So you're like Mister Mxyzptlk?" You posed, a smile coming across your face from the joy of making such an apt reference.

Stiles looked at you then, unsure if he had heard you correctly - but his heart started to beat faster and he was sure that his crush developed into full, heart-stopping love in that moment.

A gorgeous, cute, sweet girl like you making such an obscure dorky reference - there was nobody else. Nobody else would ever make him feel the way you had in that moment.

Scott was entirely confused, looking between the two of you with utter dumbness across his face, wondering why Stiles' heart rate had increased so much.

"Ugh - yeah." Stiles stuttered out awkwardly. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"So, is learning your real name the power to defeating you?" You posed, smoothing your voice into a sultry tone, stepping closer to Stiles, running a hand up his bare forearm - clearly flirting now. "Do I get three chances to moan it in your ear without making a mistake before you're allowed to do whatever you want to me?"

Scott regretted his super-hearing, being able to catch exactly what you said in a low whisper against Stiles's ear.

Stiles's brain was short-circuiting.

You were making nerdy references and coming onto him now. His blood was rioting between rushing to his pants and giving him a heart attack, and soon, before he could stop it, he practically shouted:

"Marry me!"

And while this would have been a colossally awkward fumble with any other girl, you simply giggled and smiled.

"You're so cute." You complimented in return, reaching out to gently 'boop' a finger against his nose.

Stiles continued to gape at you, feeling like he needed to say more, needed to communicate just how epicly wonderful you were in his eyes.

"Chocolate? Or vanilla? Our wedding cake could have 4 tiers, or we could get one of those cupcake tower things, I heard those are really trendy."

You let out another laugh, thinking that he was joking - not realising that he was already picking out an engagement ring in his head, and wondering which comic book characters you would name your children after.

"We can start with a date." You told him. "Friday. After the game."

He nodded.

"Yes, date." He agreed eagerly. "A date would be amazing."

"I have to get going now." You added on - and he felt like he was floating when you leaned in and kissed him on the cheek before you departed. "See you later?"

"Everyday for the rest of our lives." Stiles mumbled quietly, entirely love-struck.

"What the hell was that?" Scott asked, still entirely baffled.

"We shall have a spring wedding." Stiles replied, his eyes still locked on your back as you walked away - clearly, he was still caught up in the euphoria of the interaction.

Scott had to drag him away.

[rei-ismyname]

Uncanny X-Men #8 review - Raid on Graymalkin finale

Raid on Graymalkin has been a strange event in a lot of ways. It happened very early after an editorial and creative team change, it's only four issues spread over 2 books, and perhaps most of all, editorial both spoiled the ending and hyped up an ideological divide between Rogue and Cyclops. The big question is 'was the hype paid off?' Sadly, no - Uncanny #8 doesn't so much land the plane as crash it into a mountain. A plane crash can be a spectacle though, let's break it down. At the very least it looks great. This is a long one, so strap in.

We get to know Scurvy a little better.

X-Men #9 ended with both teams in Scurvy/ Philip's psychic thrall and Charles Xavier taking the stage after Kurt and Kwannon freed him. Uncanny #8 opens with his POV of his recent history, showing a 'Not All Mutants' mutant and how he ended up in an abusive relationship with a right wing podcast host. Well, it shows how they met, how his powers work, and how Warden Ellis has used him.

His powers aging him drastically explains why he's reluctant to go all out and perhaps how his powers helped an Infowars knock off to get this job. YMMV on whether this makes him sympathetic; it's certainly a 180 from the plain pathetic he has been portrayed as thus far. We spend a lot of time with him this issue, but it's all so vague I don't feel like we actually know all that much about him. He is portrayed as a victim, though he's also in the process of frying our heroes' brains and enslaving people. On the other hand, we get so little of his motivations and feelings that there's not much there. Villains/antagonists need to be developed to be interesting, and I'm not sure if Scurvy is a victim of Ellis' crusade or a self hating mutant who gave 'everything to a dream' for ... reasons. He's literally killing himself and it'd be good to know why.

Scurvy has been hyped as a Psychic on par with Xavier, something Xavier himself hasn't exactly confirmed but he has admitted Scurvy is an obstacle. They haven't met but Scurvy's been aware of Xavier, presumably because he's world famous and announced Krakoa to everyone on the planet. Scurvy suggests it's more than that - he and Charles are part of a group of five mutants called Avians, one of whom died - Harvey X. Chuck has had an oversized presence in Simone's Uncanny X-Men and another vague mystery about him takes up space that could be used to develop other characters - The Outliers, Jubilee, Nightcrawler. This 'Avian' business feels like The Twelve and other similar half baked plots, and how can Charles have a tumour if he's in a relatively new body? He died last in Inferno AFAIK, but more than that it feels unnecessary. I'm not invested in believing or disbelieving it, though Chuck dying might make X-Manhunt more interesting.

Chuck isn't showing up again until March, and Scurvy ages 10 years during this issue. Why are we spending all this time on these people that aren't main characters? Does Xavier really need to be part of some special unexplained group? He's been a very special and prominent part of the X-Men since 1963 - new old girlfriends and vague hints of specialness feel like mystery box overkill. Maybe Scurvy is lying as part of their psychic battle. Laws of narrative economy suggest otherwise, but either way - what's the point? Also, Avians? Are they birds? Maybe it's a Shi'Ar thing but right now it sounds ridiculous. Avians 🙄

Juggernaut knocks Rogue out of Scurvy's control and she thinks she has time to do the same to one other person. She apologises to Gambit for not choosing him and picks Cyke as the tactical choice, nearly knocking his head off. He snaps out of it too and shit gets bizarre.

For some reason Scott chooses this moment to berate Rogue for 'bringing kids into a war zone' which is a super valid point but I find it difficult to believe he'd bring it up while they're on the back foot and threats are everywhere. Rogue's answer is even more puzzling. I can believe she'd make an appeal to emotion but it's not a real answer. 'At least we don't have Magneto on our team' is not a rebuttal to nearly getting children killed, but it also does not make sense.

Magneto has been reformed for YEARS at this point and was a driving force behind Krakoa. She's saying like he's some irredeemable villain when he's the most heroic he's ever been. He and Rogue had zero interaction on Krakoa, where he was considered a national hero and famously was very tight with her hero Xavier. If she has an issue with the sins that came to light after Inferno, then she wouldn't be so charitable to Chuck, either. Maybe it's Scurvy's influence, but if so then what's the point? This isn't ideology, it's dodging the question at worst or petty bickering at best. Has Rogue forgotten her extensive history with Magneto, or her own start as a villain? What about her husband's involvement in the Mutant Massacre or her parents' unrepentant villainy? When considered in the context of Simone saying that Rogue and Cyclops would occupy the Xavier/Magneto relationship it looks like a missed shot. You'd have to ignore decades of history to make it work. Sigh, this was an unforced error and it really bums me out.

'I'm never going to be you and you're never going to be Professor X' is flat out weird. Cyclops answer of 'good' is consistent with his argument last issue, but it makes it look like they're not having the same conversation. Finally they realise they're in a war zone and only now does Rogue defer to Cyclops. Oookayyy. They say 'Magik and Wolverine' together in a moment that's both cheesy as hell and should underline their commonalities. I'm almost feel bad ragging on this, but it's not executed well. At least Rogue is consistently characterised as a cowboy. That's something.

Magik and Wolverine start freeing people then stop to agree not to kill each other. Deathdream says weird stuff, as usual, and the two make up. Jitter has her second instance of love heart emoji'ing a woman, which is cute but still deniable as actual WLW representation. I hope Simone cashes this cheque.

Queerness should be something that's not notable in a perfect world, just a part of the character. We don't live in a perfect world though, and we don't know a lot about Jitter. We know her powers, that she's Malay Singaporean, that she has a stutter, and that she possibly likes women. It's not enough for issue #8 of the flagship series. The choice was made to heavily focus on Xavier and Sarah Gaunt, and a casualty of that was getting to know main characters. It wouldn't be such a big deal if the payoff was worth it, but what did we actually learn? Instead of giving readers a break from Charles Xavier, he's been a regular presence. His appearance in this event could have been more impactful but I feel like we never had a chance to miss him.

Kwannon and Kurt reveal that Scurvy made them fight, which Rogue is aware of, and she adds that 'we're broken.' I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean, but this undermines the stakes of the ideological conflict. Is it manufactured or isn't it? None of them consider attacking Scurvy while he's fighting Xavier, either. Nobody is acting like they're in danger. It feels unserious, like the characters are just waiting for things to happen to them.

At this point I don't really care who Inmate X is. Uncanny X-Men has been dropping these mystery boxes that readers can only guess at, and like with Harvey X being the one pulling strings, it comes out of nowhere. It's another Avian, which means nothing to us beyond a vague implication of specialness. We know that Ellis considers it a bad thing if he get out of his cell, but that doesn't narrow it down aside from it being a he.

Aw, cripes - popular gen Z saying

Interestingly, Xavier's astral form is that of his Cerebro-helmeted onesie twink. It could reveal that he hasn't changed at all in how he sees himself and his role as shepherd of mutantkind. It's very different from his classic astral battle appearance, and I love it thematically and visually. Scurvy and Chuck as astral giants towering over the schoolprison is striking, though the casualness of their dialogue mutes it somewhat.

Not sure how Ezra or Ellis can tell Scurvy is losing a battle on the astral plane, but she does what she should have done before this and gets a gun. Calico is overjoyed that the Outliers (except Jitter) came for her, but what could be a heartwarming moment is undercut by their dulled expressions. I can buy Deathdream doing this, but Ransom has been emotionally aware prior to this. We have zero details, but aren't these kids tight after months of being on the run together?

It's finally time to stop standing around, as Ellis and guards are here with guns. The X-Men, having already beat up plenty of these dudes, aren't impressed. They stand together (no idea where Chuck and Scurvy got to) and Cyke urges her to stand down, pointing out that they're not as nice as the Avengers. Rogue agrees in the shittiest way possible, thinking 'sometimes visor boy says jus the right thing.' Weird ableist stance from Rogue, but all it does is highlight how shallow their conflict is and remind us that Gail Simone doesn't like Cyclops.

Ellis doesn't blink, telling them her 'brother died because of trash like you.' We knew this already, and I'm wondering if there's anything else to her. She's established as a threat but she's not especially interesting. She helped with Sarah Gaunt out of empathy (?) but here she is flinging the same old slurs. I'm not sure if her dark skin is meant to be noteworthy or say anything. So far it hasn't been a part of her character in any way other than visual, no commentary on how someone who has experienced minority oppression becomes so hell-bent on dealing it out herself. How does a person become willing to enslave and torture, and even (as we'll see) destroy two towns with thousands of humans in them? Her brother died, sure, but that's thin characterisation for a multi-arc villain.

Chuck wallops Scurvy with an uppercut!

Ellis brings out The Trustees again (who the X-Men easily defeated) to have Blob recite 'the pledge.' Very messed up but it shouldn't exactly convince the X-Men to do anything other than smash this place to pieces. She threatens to let Sarah Gaunt loose from her comically large chains that shouldn't stop her for a second.

Cyclops points out that with Scurvy's defeat Ellis' big gun is down. She laughs at that, and for some reason Chuck doesn't immediately take over her brain. Her big gun is more literal - a fucking network of sonic cannon satellites. Who TF gave this lady a Death Star? She has Merle and Haven targeted but Rogue thinks she's bluffing. Logically, you'd think so. Would the US government really accept this maniac destroying towns with a space laser? Not sure how they'd spin that. Also, neither team have any leverage to stop her using it whenever she wants. I feel like she's forcing them to kill her right here and now, lest their strategic position becomes 'able to be killed at any time without effort.' They could even just send her on permanent vacation to Limbo, see how her bullshit flies with Maddie Pryor.

Ellis lets them take the people they came for (why?) but that's not enough for Rogue. Siryn speaks to Rogue personally while crying, indicating she's herself, as much as she can be with all the torture, mind control, and who knows what else? It's only when Xavier intercedes that Rogue listens.

Charles explains why he needs to be in prison (though we know he'll change his mind and escape in March) and they have an emotional exchange. It works, I guess, but Rogue looks super selfish and ignorant. Free Charles for personal reasons when he doesn't want it at the cost of two towns? Doesn't seem like much of a choice (other than knocking Ellis out while she's in your face.) It feels a bit regressive for Rogue, too. She is aware of everything from Fall of X (including Chuck manipulating one of her mothers and trying to permanently kill the other) and hadn't really had or needed a mentor in a long time. Sure, everyone is lost after Krakoa, but WTF is she so attached to Xavier? It's great that he was the first to believe in her but this feels almost infantilising. Rogue is better than this.

Scott has Magik open a big portal before 'she' can stop you. I assume 'she' refers to Rogue, except Rogue is shown willingly walking through it with everyone else. Ellis wasn't interested in stopping them. It's like everyone has the script and realises the event is over so it's time to go. I have difficulty believing any of these characters would just meekly leave, not because of Xavier, but the multiple sonic space cannons that can kill them anytime plus their enslaved comrades. There's eight regular ass humans with guns in the way and this is their shot to do anything about it. How many of these X-Men could take them all out by themselves? Cyke could optic blast them unconscious, Magik has multiple methods, and many of the others could just punch them while ignoring bullets.

Yo, where's Quentin? He arrived with you guys.

Once Rogue has walked through the portal (clearly willingly and without duress) she objects again - 'no. We can't leave him there!' Cyke echoes Charles' own words and promises to get the others out, but Rogue punches him maybe ten feet and not only repudiates Scott's promises (?) but places the blame entirely on him. He blasts her and tells her to grow up (kinda fair) but then their teammates hold them back. Beast tells Scott he won, but this looks like a narrative trick to pretend Cyclops wanted to fight or has any reason to.

Rogue turns to leave with mild venom and her team follows. Hank assures Scott that he had no choice and Scott disagrees but doesn't elaborate. I hate to see X-Men fight but it's even worse when it's over nothing. The post-portal events feel like Simone going 'hmm, didn't really sell that ideological divide or their falling out, fuck it, just have Rogue punch Cyclops.' I think Cyclops was mostly right here, but it's more than Rogue was wrong and the conflict was contrived. I just don't buy the degree of animosity Rogue has and all the reasons given feel out of character. If that's who Rogue is right now I can accept it, but it's not very heroic and she's had multiple egregious failures of leadership. If this is identified as a character flaw that needs working on or a mistake that she regrets it could make for interesting storytelling, but all the information we have suggests that's not the case. Uncanny is frankly a trainwreck, but at least it looks fantastic. The letters page and other media suggests a lot of people are enjoying this book, and I couldn't be happier for them. I just wish I was too. I'll keep reviewing it of course, and I'll be less harsh than this review was. It was hyped and it called shots and didn't deliver. Doing that sets expectations and gives me another metric to judge it by. Hopefully we can get on with learning about the characters who've been neglected.

As for Raid on Graymalkin as an event, it had its ups and downs. Most of the ups were in X-Men and most of the downs were in Uncanny. Ultimately it didn't fulfill the promise it made so I judge it as a failure. We didn't learn a great deal and it boiled down to a cynical excuse for X-Men to punch each other. The mysteries it introduced feel dull to me and I am not especially interested in the Avians or Inmate X. The solicits for X-Manhunt spoiled that Xavier wasn't going anywhere, which left us with forced conflict. I'm far more interested in the aftermath of the event, especially the Alaska team dealing with a visit from the O*N*E. They don't really need much reason to fuck with the X-Men so I'm not crediting the event with that.

Thanks for reading!

[take-me-home-crabapple-cove]

no cause I'm sitting here at 2am thinking about Alan Alda. I haven't watched an episode of MASH in months. I honestly think he lives in my brain like a tiny benign tumour and whispers mashrot into my subconscious because why the actual fuck am I acting like I have MASHmania or something

[livingfictionsystem]

"I Think Someone's Faking DID."

You're not their mental health professional. You do not live inside their head. What you see on the internet is only a small window into someone's life and point of view. No one owes you a professional diagnosis, either. But that being said, there are so many other explanations.

People have mistaken other disorders for DID.

I've seen people first think they were a system and ended up learning those voices were a symptom of schizophrenia or psychosis. Or that the splitting between 'selves' was Borderline. I've even heard of someone mistaking a brain tumour for having DID. There are other dissociative disorders that do not result in plurality. Maladaptive Daydreaming has a pretty remarkable Venn Diagram to DID as well. It is okay to consider different possibilities and it is alright to be wrong. People are trying to identify a disordered brain with that same disordered brain; there's room for error. Not to mention, many disorders share common symptoms. This is not faking DID.

These people still deserve support and everyone has the right to explore their identity. They are not lying and they may discover otherwise as they continue to learn and grow.

"But I think this system's faking! Their switches are too convenient, their presentation is too glamourized, that's not how the disorder works---"

Fun fact, people with DID and OSDD can actually force aspects of their plurality, both intentionally and unintentionally.

Hear me out:

You've just figured out that you have DID. It is a startling fact that there are people living in your head that can take over like a ghost possession out of a horror film. You start to map your system. After all, all of these popular systems already know all of their alters, right? Well, you know one dissociative state that abuses substances, you're a victim of SA, and you're a fan of Hazbin Hotel, you figure you probably have an Angel Dust fictive! The rest is just confirmation bias.

(No hate to Hazbin fictives, that was just the first that came to me.)

You want to know it all and you convince yourself you know it all. Because otherwise, you're admitting that you're clumsily feeling around in a darkened room full of people that may be hiding from you. And those alters may be the mirror image of your abusers, may be parts of your system you've repressed and can't admit to, parts of your system you can't understand. They may want to hurt you or the body. That's scary.

You're not lying if you've accidentally convinced yourself. I've seen people build an entire idealised system on top of the system they actually have.

Or, if you've built a platform off of your systemhood, you may recreate or 'fake' switches for the camera, even if you do experience them authentically off-screen. You may even force switches. You may be subconsciously exaggerating your symptoms to fit in with all of the other systems you see on social media, especially if your community is full of other systems.

That doesn't mean you're faking DID. You should still be held responsible if you're spreading misinformation, though.

"Okay, but I know for a fact this person is faking! They're the type to lie about having cancer and stuff, they made up a dark backstory that never happened, and forged diagnostic papers!"

This does happen. People can completely understand that they do not have DID and fake it anyway. Malingering has existed long before TikTok had ever heard of Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Generally, people that do this are seeking attention and validation. They may not have gotten enough of either in their life and do this out of other mental illness. That being said, you know they're faking. Congratulations.

Now.

What the hell are you going to do about it?

You cannot cyberbully someone to stable mental health.

You cannot harass someone out of maladaptive behaviour.

You are not going to scare an attention-seeker away from harmful actions by giving them more attention.

Honestly, the more you ignore it, the better chance there will be they'll stop. Arguing just gives them more motive to double down. Disengage and move on.

If you want an excuse to bully people, just say that. But these people are human beings. If the people are spreading misinformation, correct it with sourced information. If they are harming the community, those actions should be criticised as an example of what Not to do.

But harassment campaigns solve nothing.

-Xanthe Zeitstück

[ub-sessed]

I might need a little encouragement to fix the hat I'm knitting for my daughter.

I don't actually think it's fixable. Or rather, I think it would be significantly faster to just frog the whole thing and just knit it again. But it's such a small mistake that it doesn't seem worth all that effort. But it's in a very prominent spot.

Long story short, I got into a weird compulsive zone (?) in the middle of the night last week and spent three hours pulling all of the "slack" out of my floats. I pulled it all out right through the cast on and everything. Ended up with a tail almost three feet long. (Looking at it makes me feel like I have a brain tumour. Why would I do this??)

Anyway, the point is that now when my daughter puts the hat on, the start of round (which is right at the front of the hat) looks like shit, because it turns out that Patty Lyons' method for avoiding the jog at the start of the round is especially finicky about tension (it creates a super convoluted path for the yarn. I imagine it works better if you're not using super bulky yarn).

If I reknit it, I won't do anything to avoid the jog (I've tried two different techniques now, and neither of them look good with this super bulky yarn), I'll just put it at the back of the hat where it will be mostly hidden by the tip of the hat hanging down. It will look way better, and won't take very long because, like I said, super bulky yarn.

It feels like a bit of an overreaction, but it might be worth it to be able to feel like my daughter is walking around in a hat I'm actually proud of.

[angryschnauzer]

19th February 2024

An update.

Hubby has finished his radiotherapy. It seemed like a long 6 weeks, and its taken its toll on him with extreme fatigue. He was also on a mild dose of chemotherapy at the same time, that thankfully didn't come with any side affects such as nausea, but he was on anti sickness meds for that.

He'll now have about 4 weeks off all treatment to allow his body to recover and to try and regain some strength. But during those 4 weeks he'll have some tests and MRI's to see if the tumour is growing back.

Then from mid march he will have 6 rounds of strong chemotherapy, with one week on, three weeks off. This will be a much stronger dose so the nausea side affects may be considerably more than the small dose he had with his radiotherapy.

What we don't know is what the prognosis is. We don't know if he has 6 months, 18 months, 5 years, whatever. And now we aren't told either. They wont be pinned down to a 'you have x amount of months left' because its been found this is much more detrimental to patients mental health (and also their families) as if the patent passes away before then there is resentment that the prognosis was wrong, or if the patient lives longer there is also resentment as to 'why did we rush to do the bucket list' when i actually had more time.

This however is impacting my mental health. The uncertainty of what the future holds, and what plans i can make for the future. There are trips with our son's school that i've had to ask the school to make special exceptions for us with where we'd like a space reserved but can't commit to it. Same with any sort of commitment or plan for the future.

Hubby however is fairly relaxed about it all. I honestly think he thinks its going to be cured. He plans on going back to work from start of March, but working the equivalent of 1 day a week spread over 5 days, so around 2 hours a day. This would be working remotely from home, and i do support this as he needs something to concentrate on, but its hard to imagine what future life is going to be like. He can't drive for another 2.5 yrs (one year after his seizure, and then 2 after radiotherapy because it was on his brain), so he won't be able to commute into the office anyway by car, and he can't go via train as he can't carry a bag because of his reconstruction surgery on his shoulder.

Thankfully his employers have been wonderful about this, and we are covered for the bills financially as well but will have to tighten our belts with a lot of things. I'm still trying to work and keep my business going, but finding the time to do so is tough as i'm now basically a full time carer for two people; my son and my husband. (The government doesn't consider the work i do for them 'enough' to pay an allowance though').

So that's were we're at. We've had a lot of other shit thrown at us since the start of the year too, but its not as important as the situation with my husband so that's what i'll keep you updated on.

[criticsstuff]

Counting the seconds (Series)

Addison Montgomery x freader

Chapter 1: seconds

Words: 1444

Summary: Back in Seattle you’re not just dealing with a tumour, you met a amazing woman that is eventually going to change your life.

Warnings: in this chapter none but swearing, later I promise you smut, angst, cheating and more.

Updates: Weekly

A/n: This is my first fanfic and English is not my first language. I’m sry if something isn’t perfect. Anyway my first project will be a series obviously. I just thought I’m going to start with something big. And I’m open for requests ;)

Navigation Part2 Part 3 Part4

—————————————————————

Rain pooling down the drained window like the tears you kept in, now freely falling. Too long you were standing there, just staring at the wall, the floor, the ceiling. Funny isn’t it ? How fast time can run, chasing the long gone minutes.

Shit, I don’t wanna be late- you thought. You grabbed the few things you haven’t packed jet and stumbled out the door.Your flight to Seattle in 2 hours is leaving your throat dry. But to be totally honest you’re excited to see them again. Mer and Arizona were pushing you to visit them again. Yeah, anyway now you’re the one pushing with a tumour housing in your brain.

Lifting your large luggage off the ground and on the treadmill, to finally get checked in, is the last thing you do before you sit on the plane and lay your safety belt on. 6 hours feel long, so high above the ground. You’re not willing to stay awake the whole flight, so you shut your eyes, slowly drifting off as you hear the soft humming of the plane getting quieter.

****

After being undisturbed for almost the whole flight you finally wake up. The tall, slightly scary looking man sitting next to you, wasn’t too thrilled by the crying toddler a few seats ahead and decided to murmur and huff complaints in his beard. You use the left time to think about Seattle, to be more concrete you think about the people in Seattle, your people.

You haven’t seen them too often, after Derek died. It just hadn’t felt right to come and visit, you should’ve, now that you think about it. The distance being so short, makes you miss them even more. But this time you visit not just as a friend, you’re a patient. The word never scared you -patient- it sounds so small. Now you’re the patient and it scares the hell out of you. Why?

The plane is about to land and you’re about to see your friends. Stepping of the plane, you lift your head and take a deep breath , inhaling the fresh air seeping trough your lungs. It feels okay to be back, maybe even great.

You pick up your luggage and leave the airport to get a taxi. You already talked to Meredith about your visit and she gladly offered you to crash at her house. Not wanting to spend your first day back in some random hotel, you accepted thankful .

The ride was calm and you thought about ways to don’t make the reunion awkward. You couldn’t blame Mer to be mad. You just left and barely even called. As the taxi neared the location you couldn’t shake off the nervousness climbing up your throat. Too long you were gone, too long you missed mer.

You paid the taxi driver and left the car, headed to her front door, gulping down a not exisiting knot. You counted the steps you made and took one last long breath before you knocked. It didn’t took long for the blonde women to walk down the stairs, straight to the door.

She looked at you, she nearly stabbed you with her sharp stare. Probably you would’ve end up running if she hadn’t stopped looking at you like that . Instead of the nearly cold stare she offered you one of her smiles. „Well, look who decided to actually visit.“ she grinned at you, taking your wrists pulling you in a warm embrace. „I missed you.“ you murmured in her hair hugging her even tighter.

„No need to strangle me!“ she laughed pushing you inside. „You can have your old room back.“ she said practically dragging you and your luggage up the stairs. You missed this. You couldn’t wait to see the others. „I will probably spend the whole time in the hospital.“ you mentioned tapping on your head. To point out the thing with the tumour chilling in your brain.

„Yeah, probably.“ she whispered turning around to look at you. You just looked at each other sharing unspoken words. You were both scared, even if you wouldn’t say it out loud. You shake your head trying to throw the odd feeling away.

„Anyway, today is the day. So hospital is my next stop, do you mind coming with me later?“ you asked trying to lighten the mood. „Of course, I have a shift later so it’s perfect. How about we two catch up ?“ she ask throwing herself on your bed. You smiled, laying next to her.

****

There you were, walking trough the hallways of the grey Sloan memorial hospital, with Mer on your left and Arizona on your right side. In every step you made, laid fear. Would you walk out again? Would you survive? You were promised on of the greatest neurosurgeons, one that ist going to help you. And hopefully save you.

„Here we are. You can settle in and Dr. Shepherd will be here in a bit.“ Arizona told you smiling. „Thank you, see you two later.“ you said reaching your bed and laying your stuff on it. They walked out, looking happy to have you again, even as a patient.

You took your clothes and put them in your wardrobe, feeling kinda weird. Obviously you aren’t used to live in a hospital. Finished with organizing your things you sat on the bed, staring at your hands. Damm it, why would you of all people get a tumour?

Clicking heels break your thoughts, urging you to look up. A woman with dark long hair walked in, smiling , with a nervous looking man by her side. “Hello there. Deluca would you mind presenting?”she questioned even if it wasn’t a question. “But make it simple.” you said, not wanting to hear more than needed.

He nodded “ 28, female, with a tumour in her head. Here for a final removal of the tumour.” presented the young man fast, holding your chart in his hands. “So Y/N the plan is that I will observe your tumour over the next couple of days. We will make daily tests to make sure we don’t miss anything and after that you can say your final goodbyes to the tumour.“ Dr Shepherd told you looking at the charts.

„Sounds good“ you said trying to smile not really happy with your long stay at the hospital. „Can you change, I would like to do a Ct.“ she added, looking at you with kind eyes.

****

After spending two days in the hospital, you got bored staying in your room all day. Deciding to stop sulking around you got up and found things to do. Currently walking down the hallway with Mer, to kill your boredom, you saw her.

Orange locks effortlessly laying on her shoulders, confidence laying in her step as she made her way towards you. Addison Montgomery, yeah you knew her. Well you never really talked but, the beautiful woman was well known across your friends. You stopped, not daring to come one step near her. So as she stopped in front of you and Mer, piercing right trough you with her daring eyes, she knocked your breath right out of you.

„Hey, Addison“ Mer smiled at her. But Addison was still looking at you tilting her head with a curious smile. „And you are?“ she questioned. You couldn’t stop looking at her, she was literally perfect. She raised her eyebrows, wondering why you wouldn’t answer. „That’s Y/N, you might have seen her before. She is a really good friend of mine.“ Meredith answered for you, chuckling at your loss of words. At that you took your self together trying to get at least one word out, not wanting to look like a complete fool. „What she said.“ you said looking anywhere but at her.

Addison smiled clearly amused by the strange behaviour you showed. „What are you two up to?“ she asked still smiling, lifting her hand to push a strand of hair out of her face. „Walking.“ was all you said trying to find a way to leave this conversation as fast as possible. „Yeah, I see that.” she remarked holding her laughter back. „Y/n here, is bored so she forced me to go on a hospital walk with her.” Mer mentioned looking at you, acting annoyed to tease you. „How about you go on walk with Y/n ? I’m sure she wants to get to know you.” she asked Addison, clearly trying to kill you.

Before anyone could say a word, you turned around. „You know what, I forgot I’m pretty busy dealing with my tumour. I have to go!” you announced, already running of. Leaving the two women stunned behind.

[toaarcan]

I think Fiona's betrayal makes way more sense and fits into the narrative better if you simply bump it to after the destruction of Knothole.

Like, in the actual comic it kinda comes out of nowhere, and it's heavily tied into the romance plot tumours and Issue 150. Fiona's actual character is barely important, she just disappears for five issues and comes back with a new personality, her old trauma in high gear again (but girl, if you're mad at Sonic for abandoning you, why the feck are you running off with Second Sonic Who Is Worse?), and an ideology that makes zero sense with her history ("You can't count on anybody" says character who has literally never been independent and will never become independent).

And the fallout is incredibly understated and after literally two issues nobody cares any more except Tails. And he's done caring after 179 closes.

Betrayal is supposed to be impactful.

But if you shuffle the order of the stories around, don't even change the actual content, then the whole thing becomes a buttery-smooth consistent arc and Fiona's character development, while not a good thing in the long run (Scourge literally would've killed her in 196 if his plan had succeeded, she traded the stunningly mediocre partner that was Sonic for a literal monster), actually makes sense and is front and centre in her story, instead of what we got, which is "Fiona ascends from background character to weird love interest to an accessory for Scourge who is defined entirely by Scourge."

Fiona being driven by her trauma to hate Sonic for leaving her behind is a reasonable angle, it's where she started in the Knuckles comic, but it's been so long since that was relevant to her character that dredging it up years after the fact in a different book would only ever be jarring. Unless, say, history repeated itself and all those wounds got opened up again.

Eggman drops out of the sky, razes her home to the ground, and shoves her in a prison to be used as fodder for one of his sick creations, just like Robotnik did all those years ago. Only this time, the prison is so small that she can barely even move, and the machine she's going to be fed into is much worse. It'll kill her, twice over, draining her life-force to power Eggman's machinery and wiping her mind for no reason other than "Eggman's a sadistic asshole."

She gets to see the effects up-close too, via Charmy's brain damage.

And while it's unnecessary, as I think the actual plot of the issues needs no alterations to make sense, you could nonetheless add a small scene during the rescue where Sonic saves Fiona from the Egg Grapes and says he won't make that mistake again. A small hope spot before it all comes crashing down.

Because it does! The arc ends with the Freedom Fighters standing triumphant over a wrecked Egg Beater. They could easily grab Eggman and drag him into the brand-new prison that Nicole put Mogul, Naugus, and the Hooligans in. They have turned their darkest hour into an opportunity to win the war... and they don't take it.

Eggman flies off, clinging to an Egg Flapper and doing the "I'll get you next time, Gadget! Next tiiiiiime!" bit, and the heroes just... stand there.

And that's where the (hypothetical) hope spot gets dashed. Fiona, already uncertain of her place in the team after 160-1, loses faith in them completely. She just lived through the worst experience of her life again and the heroes of this world are doing nothing to prevent another repeat.

It even makes her "You can't count on anybody" line actually have some weight. She genuinely feels like she's been failed by them, that she put her trust in these people and they still turned on her at a moment's notice, and they're not doing enough to actually save the world. It's like Scourge says in 172- she "wishes [Sonic] had a backbone."

And then, after all that, there's the big Fiona Betrayal Issue except now it's actually about Fiona and not just about giving Scourge a girlfriend, and that's followed immediately by the Sonic vs. Tails issues. There's no time to process what just happened, everyone's emotions are still extremely raw, and it boils over into a fight between brothers that's more about venting all those nasty emotions they've been holding in for a while now. Sonic has been through a lot lately, he just lost his home and repeated one of his few failures, and he's not long lost Tommy too. Tails is dealing with emotions that he's not mature enough to process properly and healthily, he grew up too fast, but not evenly. And at the end of the day, they're both still just kids.

I still think 179's ending is an overall horrible way to to resolve that plot thread, and further reduces Fiona to an object to be fought over, but I'm not heavily changing the content of the issues, only the context.

I've never been a fan of villain!Fiona, I've made that clear in the past. I like it as a step on a journey that results in her healing, but I found its start confusing and messy and the rest of the arc lacklustre and far too focused on Scourge, rather than Fiona herself. But I think putting it in this order makes it flow a lot better for me.

If I write Sonic stuff again, I'll probably do it with this as a headcanon of what went down in the 170s.

[luna-rainbow]

i don't know if you've been asked about this before but do you think bucky suffers seizures because of hydra? if yes, did they start while being under hydra or after getting freed??

Thanks for the ask!

I think this is one of those things that you can headcanon either way because there’s enough in canon to justify either reading of it.

A few things to set the scene:

Seizures can be provoked (from an acute medical event) or unprovoked, although unprovoked seizures can also be due to an underlying cause (e.g. tumours or brain injuries). In general, provoked seizures occur only with the acute medical event, and does not develop into epilepsy (unless that medical event causes structural damage to the brain)

Epilepsy is defined as 2 unprovoked seizures or 1 unprovoked seizure with an underlying structural cause that significantly increases the risk of a 2nd seizure (e.g. tumours, TBIs)

There are things that Bucky experiences under Hydra that can heighten his risk for developing seizures

Bucky has the serum, which theoretically should heal any structural causes for epilepsy over time

Firstly, in order to join the military, Bucky did not have epilepsy (as it's one of the exclusions), which means if Bucky does later have seizures, it is acquired, i.e. something occurred to cause him to have seizures. People can develop epilepsy as an adult with no underlying structural cause and it's not actually uncommon (I'm reading something up to 60% of adults with epilepsy have no cause found) - but for the sake of the discussion and the fact that he has the serum on board, we'll say that he doesn't have an inherent predisposition for seizures.

Secondly, there are a number of things that increases Bucky's chance of having a symptomatic seizure and having epilepsy.

Traumatic brain injury, e.g. from the initial fall, assaults, repeated concussion etc

Acquired brain injury, e.g. from having his basal ganglia dissected (thanks Black Widow), from repeated electrocution, from repeated cryostasis, from Steve strangling him until he loses consciousness...

Metabolic derangement, e.g. from severe dehydration/starvation or as part of severe illness

Drug toxicity or withdrawal, e.g. excessive amphetamine/cocaine (as often given to soldiers), or withdrawal from benzodiazepine or certain classes of painkillers

There has been no evidence that ECT causes epilepsy. However, there is evidence that electrocution with injury to the central nervous system can cause epilepsy.

I feel like I've seen headcanons on why a) Bucky can walk off the Widow’s stinger like it’s nothing when even Nat gets knocked out by it; and b) Rumlow’s weapon of choice against Steve is electric rods. I tend to agree with guesses that Bucky probably experienced electrocution enough to develop some tolerance to it -- but over time that can certainly cause structural damage to the brain. Similarly, cutting into the brain to look at the basal ganglia would also definitely leave scarring that would precipitate seizures.

(Okay I know this is not the question and this answer is getting super long already, but can I just say this 2 second scene gets to me every time? Nat says "Ow, that does sting" when she uses it on herself later. Bucky tears it off with his bare hand. Does it not hurt? Of course it hurts. His metal arm is immobilised from that shock, and his entire arm is metal which feeds the whole shock into his body. The only acknowledgement he affords himself is to shake that arm out to get it back in working order. More than the unstoppable "Terminator"-like threat, this is someone who's backed against a cliff. Pain is not an option. Stopping is not an option. There is just him, against the rest of this noisy, chaotic, meaningless world, fighting an endless battle...until that mask comes off and he's given a name.)

For practicality’s sake though, I think Hydra would have been cautious to avoid giving Bucky brain damage that was severe enough to cause epilepsy. The unpredictability of epilepsy is the reason it's often an exclusion criteria for commercial licenses and operating heavy machinery and, in Bucky's case, flying planes and firing semi-automatic weapons. It's certainly not desirable in someone they've deemed "the Asset" whom they bring out when everything else fails. Alternatively, they might have figured out how long Bucky's brain needed to heal before sending him out to be operational again (but this still means they would avoid causing epilepsy if they can). This doesn't mean they won't place him in situations that can cause provoked seizures though - i.e. the drug toxicity/withdrawal and severe malnutrition and severe illness/infection type scenarios.

During his recovery phase, I think drug withdrawal and severe malnutrition (i.e. if he's not aware of how to feed himself) are possible causes of seizures. The risk is only high during a fairly short period of time (a couple of days) though and he is likely to be very, very unwell. If you're wanting to write him having seizures months down the track, one possibility might be he was on a cocktail of anti-seizure medications under Hydra (although I'd still wince at letting him touch a machine gun or a plane in that state) and he now no longer had access to those, so he continues to have seizures from structural brain damage (take your pick). My headcanon is that ultimately his brain will heal and the epilepsy would resolve.

And finally, are we ready for a conversation about pseudoseizures (non-epileptic or psychogenic seizures)? They are often associated with psychiatric conditions like depression, anxiety, PTSD and dissociative disorders, all of which Bucky would have reason to have.

[starlightseraph]

on two of the most controversial episodes of house md

the asexuality episode:

mixed feelings. it’s often brought up a lot as a total swing and miss but idk about it being completely wrong. i’m a-spec myself (demi) and the way he talks about it is weird, but this is something that genuinely happens. one of the symptoms of damage in that area of the brain is lack of sexual feelings, and some people will simply never develop a sense of sexuality, completely unaware that they actually have a brain tumour. nearly all asexual people are just ace without any particular cause, so there’s no reason to worry unless you have other concerns or health issues.

so anyways. i think that it was a plausible medical story, because it does happen. traumatic brain injuries, seizures, tumours, certain medications, hypoxia, pregnancy/birth complications, strokes, all of these can lead to absence of or reduced sexual urges.

my issue is the way he reacts to it, as if this guy has to have some illness and he can’t just be asexual. i know that house only acts that way because his immediate reaction to everything is to be as offensive as possible, and he wants to find something interesting to make a bet on with wilson, but it’s still uncomfortable.

i guess it turned out alright for the patient? it’s good that he finds out about the tumour and can get it treated, because even a benign tumour can be life threatening or become cancerous. still, though, not great.

the (first) intersex episode:

yeah ok no justification for this one. what was going through the minds of the writers?? like the basic story had potential but they went and made it creepy as fuck and wrote house’s reactions in a way that’s harsh, even for him. his insults are generally just defensive and clearly not meant in a discriminatory way. he treats everyone badly all the time, so his words are almost never based in actual bigotry. but his treatment of the patient in this episode is extreme, and he goes way beyond his normal limits. it doesn’t even fit well with his character, it’s just so purely mean spirited. so yeah fuck this one.

[sugdenlovesdingle]

I can't with this storyline anymore! I know many people want John to end up as a villain but there are so many villains now. Ruby’s whole story with abuse right after Belle’s is too much! Would Emmerdale really create another villain/abuser so soon? I don't like this whole Ruby storyline. Why couldn't they just write stories for the characters already here? She is so new and always on! Aaron is a popular/veteran character but is never used and when he is it's for a 2-minute screen once a month. I'm so over it.

I mean i'd be ok with them making john a villain (and acknowledge wendy is scum).

I LIKE Ruby (and Caleb) but starting this abuse story when Belle's isn't even finished yet (and has been dragged out beyond belief) is A Choice. Like is it not enough to bring in the long lost daughter? Does it have to be the dad too? Who has cancer AND turned out to have raped his daughter more than once (young Ruby said "not today" - she knew what was coming) and likely fathered his own grandchild. And on top of that she slept with her brother in law (who is dealing with his wife having a brain tumour) and her father will most likely use that to blackmail her into staying quiet about the abuse.

Then we have the Tom nonsense that I'm sick to death of that has everyone plot stupid. First Amelia and Jimmy, now Angelica - just end it already!

Liam only gets screentime because he's fucking Chas. I used to like them, but after the will they/wont they and nonsense with Ella i'm sick of them.

Brenda and Eric split up because he had a flash of insanity thanks to his meds (???) and lost all of their money to bitcoin

Mack and Charity are dealing with Ross coming back

Marlon and Rhona are also dealing with Ross coming back - but via April

whatever the fuck is going on with Kim and Will (I don't really pay attention to that story, they're boring)

Dawn and Billy - the illegal fighting is done? I think? They still have a baby with cancer and constant money problems.

Ella, Leyla, Brenda are all leaving in the next few months (I'm guessing)

Aaron - wasn't at Cain's birthday party, hasn't been involved in any recent dingle nonsense, apparently loves his boyfriend? Not that we've actually seen them together... he's always teaming up with Mack for dodgy deals.

Gail and Ryan - April mentioned them yesterday? but they haven't been on screen in ages, and haven't had a story since... the Oscar thing?

Matty and Amy GOT MARRIED IN MAY, Matty got sent down a few weeks later, then beaten up in prison and magically released again in the span of like - 6 weeks? and then disappeared. Moira having seizures, brain surgery, and now radio therapy... and Amy isn't there supporting her mother in law and her husband? She wasn't at Cain's birthday party, even though he's her husband's step father, and the father of her son.

Vic - no real story to speak of, despite the whole Sugden family revival that was supposed to happen with John.

Jacob, Noah, Sarah, Amelia - apparently Jacob and Sarah start dating soon, Amelia is leaving next week, and Noah... apparently invested money in bitcoin?

Tracy, Vanessa, Suzy, Leyla - No story there. Tracy gets to work in the shop and complain about child care, Leyla is leaving soon, Vanessa and Suzy?? are... still together?? I guess? I don't even remember when Suzy was last on screen.

Laurel, Arthur, Gabby - Arthur got a few lines the other day with April but after the failed hook up with that lad a while ago, he's practically been MIA. Laurel had her fling with Charles and then kind of disappeared again? Gabby and Vinny got together and lived in off screen land ever since.

Paddy and Meatloaf - thankfully very much off screen lately

Jai - the eternal bad guy (and I'm so done with that story)

Charles, Manpreet, Claudette - all mostly off screen thankfully

Rodney - gets to work in the cafe and comment on the Tom of it all from time to time

if they're not Chas/Charity/Cain or adjacent characters, they don't get screentime or a story.

[emma-m-black]

Doctor White - Chapter One

Tom Koracick x OC (FanFiction)

This is a super rough draft of a Tom Koracick x OC story I've had in my head. I got a ton of chapters done, but then kind of his a block at a cliff hanger and I figure, perhaps if I post it, maybe I can figure out what to do next.

Rating is probably close to PG, don't think there is any spicey bits, pretty tame.

Chapter One:

Elizabeth walked through the halls of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital in utter astonishment. She was finally here, the Hospital she had dreamed of working at. Tomorrow she would be in her final year of residency.

She could hear the room before she saw it. The sounds of multiple voices attempting to talk over one another as they vied for control over their conversations. She paused before she turned the corner to the staff cafeteria. Reaching down, she rubbed the palms of her hands against the dark velvet fabric of her dress. Elizabeth told herself it was to smooth out the wrinkles, but really it was to dry the sweat from her palms.

"I don't want to go in there either." Spoke a voice from behind her, it jarred her from her thoughts and her already racing heart sped up even more.

"Can you see my pit stains from back there, I had hoped this dress wouldn't show." Elizabeth let out a laugh as she turned around to see who had spoken to her.

A man quite a bit older than her stood before her. Slightly greying hair and a large smirk on his clean-shaven face. "Doctor Thomas Koracick." He began as he stuck out a hand in greeting and approached, "You must be one of the brilliant new Interns?"

"Actually I'm a transferring resident, a smart, brilliant, scared out of my mind, and regretting every moment that led me to being here all of a sudden senior resident." Tom gave a slight chuckle and glanced down to his still waiting hand. "Shit, sorry…, Doctor Elizabeth White, pleasure to meet you." She spoke as she straightened8 her back and reaching out to grasp his hand.

"White? Any relation to Doctor Wilfred White?" Asked Tom.

"Yeah. He is my father."

"I'm sorry." Said Tom, releasing Elizabeth's hand.

"Sorry?" Elizabeth questioned not use to that response when it came to her family legacy.

"That you have to deal with that ego on a daily basis. What was it like growing up with him as a father? I can just imagine what dinners must have been like." Said Tom as his eyes raked over her with a smile. "So were you planning on following in his footsteps."

"Cardio no, I'm interested in Ophthalmology."

The smile on Tom's face dropped. His mouth opened, and then he closed it, seemingly at a loss for words.

Elizabeth let out a laugh. "I'm joking. Neurosurgery is my specialty, the brain is what led me to becoming a surgeon. I had a grade two Atypical Meningioma." Said Elizabeth as she raised the hand and tapped her skull. "Had to learn everything brain related when I was diagnosed, and now all I want is brains. All I think about now is brain tumours."

"Sexy." Tom said with a smile. "The tumour, that is. I'm assuming you've had surgery, and you aren't about to enter your internship with a ticking time bomb?"

"Yeah, I was nineteen at the time."

"Reoccurrence?"

"Radiation treatments after the total resection for good measure. So far, no reoccurrence."

"And you've been keeping up with your scans?"

"Yes."

"Who was your surgeon?"

"Doctor Samuel Gravely."

"Samuel's a quack. I'll find you tomorrow, and we will do a CT, make sure he didn't mess up that legacy of a brain of yours." Tom stepped forward and placed a fist to his hip and extended his elbow toward Elizabeth. "Now come on, I want to start some rumours before your first day."

Elizabeth stared at him with wide eyes, unable to respond to his proposal. "Come on, trust me, it will give you some street cred, all the gossip tomorrow will be about you. Which gives you the advantage of standing out to all the important people." Elizabeth laughed and slipped her arm around his before he walked the two of them into the busy room, the busy room of which a good few people stopped to watch as both her and Doctor Koracick.

She could hear a few whispered words asking who she was and why she was with Doctor Koracick. It was then though that she spotted Doctor Bailey, who had also just seemed to have spotted her.

"Ah, Doctor White, I'm glad you could make it." Miranda said as she approached her. Elizabeth noticed the side eye that was given to Tom as she came to a stop in front of them. "Doctor Koracick, do you two know each other?"

"We've been bonding over her sexy brain tumour." Tom responded.

"Interesting." Miranda narrowed her vision at the older man. "Doctor Webber!"

Elizabeth watched as an older man walk towards her, she knew from her pry into the hospital's staff that this was the Doctor Richard Webber.

When Doctor Webber was in front of them, he eyed Elizabeth suspiciously.

"Doctor Webber, I would like to introduce you to Doctor Elizabeth White. She was the one I told you about."

"White…" Richard spoke as he extended a hand. "Like the Cardio…"

"Yes, Dr. White is my father, Doctor Webber."

"Doctor Bailey told me that she hired a prodigy, but I never thought…" he trailed off.

"I hope I can live up to his reputation."

"I hope not." Said Tom with a smirk on his lips. "He's a prude. No offence." He finished looking to Elizabeth.

"I'm sure we will see great things from Doctor White. She was top of her class at Harvard, and I had to offer her a great deal to get her to leave Duke."

"I would have come regardless." Elizabeth laughed. "This was always my top choice."

"Doctor Koracick, I didn't realize you were still here." Came the happy voice of Amelia Shepherd.

"Yeah, I had allowed for a few extra days to stick around, you know, in case you became a cabbage." As Tom talked, a group started to form around Elizabeth.

"And who is your friend?" Asked Amelia.

Miranda took notice of the people around them and quickly threw a sweeping hand out. "This is our new Senior Resident Doctor, Elizabeth White…" Miranda stretched out the last name, giving everyone time to process what she was saying.

"Wait like…"

"Yes." Miranda said quickly.

"Who…"

"She is his daughter."

"But I thought…"

Miranda waved her hands in the air. "Let's leave the poor girl alone, she can answer all your questions tomorrow. Now go, mingle, all of you. Including you, Doctor Koracick"

Elizabeth extracted her arm from Tom's and placed a hand to his chest instead. "Don't worry, you get to check me out tomorrow." Elizabeth threw a wink at him before walking away towards the drink table.

A dark squint was sent from Miranda to Tom. "Her brain. I'm checking out her brain tomorrow."

"I'm watching you Koracick, I'm watching you."

Chapter Two

[stxrdust-widow]

Ok controversial Bones opinion apparently, but I didn’t think that they ruined her character once she got pregnant like ☹️ I keep seeing people saying they couldn’t watch after season 6/7 because Brennan was so different but like, was she really? I don’t think it was out of character for her to have kids, even though she didn’t want them in the first few seasons, but apparently we’re all forgetting that people can change their minds, not to mention the fact that Brennan was already actively planning on getting pregnant at the end of s4 and might have gone through with it had Booth not had the brain tumour.

I don’t think having kids changed her character as drastically as people claim, but instead maybe created another side to her character. And I don’t think getting with Booth undid any of her character arc either. It certainly was a different dynamic than their pre-relationship, but I still liked it. I’m a sucker for love I guess. I mean, I certainly wish that the way they ended up together was a little different and that we could have seen the moment that their romantic tension finally broke, but I’ll take what I can get. I actually enjoyed watching her learn to trust in Booth as her romantic partner as well as her work partner, because she’d never been open to furthering a romantic relationship before, and I liked seeing her come into her own and maybe heal a little bit of her trauma by being in a loving, supportive relationship and being able to reciprocate with her children as well (if that makes sense).

Also, I’m not saying that a couple has to have kids to be complete, because fair if you don’t want any- they’re a huge commitment and not to everyone’s liking lol- but I feel that Booth and Bones would have ended up with at least one anyways had Emily Deschanel not have been pregnant post s6. It may not have been in the traditional way, but it’s already established canonically that Bones wanted a kid like??? And yes, I headcanon that once she and Booth settle in their careers a little more, they start fostering- would have been nice to see on the show but a girl can dream.

Anyway long story short I believe in character development and I don’t think Bones’ character development was destroyed in the later seasons.

Also, please ignore this rant. Just needed to get it out ig.

[pansysgothgf]

The Buddie Grey’s Anatomy AU I wrote is done so here’s the rest of my moodboards for it + the rambling thoughts I have about the characters :)

Hen!! Hen’s the character I was the most excited about but also the character I feel like I did the least with because as much as I adore Cristina, so many of her plot points in the show seemed to revolve around her truly horrific boyfriends/fiancés/husbands. My hatred of Owen Hunt runs deep, so Karen ended up being partially inspired by Burke. I ended up mostly focusing on Hen and Buck becoming friends, but I do wish I got to spend a little more time on her :(

I ended up sharing Bailey’s plot lines and character between Maddie and Chim, which I’m pretty happy with tbh! My favourite scene to write with them was actually the first one of theirs I wrote for this fic, which was my whumptober submission that ended up being a chunk of chapter two. While they’re mostly based after Bailey, Maddie also reminded me a little bit of Jo (both of them surviving abusive husbands) and I gave her one of April’s plot lines in the final chapter, which was exciting! I did briefly consider incorporating Lexi, Molly or Maggie’s plot lines in for Maddie (the whole ‘secret sibling’ thing) but it just didn’t work with the way I set it up.

LUCY MY LOVE!! I became so unintentionally attached to Lucy while writing this so she got WAY more plot than I was initially intending haha! There’s something so magical about watching the first few seasons of Grey’s and seeing the dynamic between all of the roommates, which I tried really hard to incorporate into the fic. Then I realized I’d become attached to Lucy and Ravi and went… oh shit I’m going to have to actually give them plots rip. I had so much fun choosing which Izzie plots to give to Lucy since Izzie has some really amazing stuff to work with in the show. I ended up going with the two biggest plots (imo). Because I changed so much though, I ended up combining Izzie’s cancer plot line and Amelia’s brain tumour to create what I ended up with. I’m pretty happy with it, honestly, I hope I built it up sufficiently enough :)

Ravi!!! Ravi is what people wish George O’Malley could’ve been. As I’ve previously stated, I do not like the majority of Grey’s men, and this includes George. I ended up focusing mostly on George’s issues with confidence and his complicated relationship with his family. I also elected not to go the bus route with Ravi, you’re all welcome. Fun fact! I made Lena the orthopaedic surgeon because my biggest crack ship in all of 9-1-1 is Lena/Ravi. I headcannon them to be a lesbian and a gay man but they match each other’s freak, and they’re both just as surprised about it as anyone.

Honourable mentions (aka characters I want to yap about but didn’t make moodboards for):

Shannon: I based Shannon off of Addison Forbes-Montgomery-Shepherd SPECIFICALLY because of the season 1 finale. They’re both the secret wives that show up and create chaos which I love lol. I specifically left Shannon’s ending pretty ambiguous, mainly because I don’t know if she would’ve stuck around had she lived in 9-1-1. If we’re going off of Grey’s though, she’s living her best life in LA with a group of friends who she cares a lot about. I like to think that at some point Chris reaches out (probably when he’s a lot older) and they create a tentative relationship.

Tommy: I gave Tommy elements of both Mark Sloan and Owen Hunt (just his position at the hospital because seriously, fuck Owen Hunt). I decided on Tommy as Mark before Season 7 started airing which is WILD because I basically flipped a coin between him and Sal, but went with Tommy since he showed up to fly the plane in season 2. I wrote him and Buck kissing after Buck, Bothered and Bewildered though lol! I don’t really think about what happens to Tommy after the ending of the fic, although it’s definitely not what happened to Mark. Seeing as Owen doesn’t exist in this world, neither does the plane crash <3

Ok that’s it thanks for coming to my ted talk :)

[kaiba-cave]

You wanna hear a freaking story? My parents used to have a neighbour named Nicole. She decided to sell her house and just start living in a big van and basically just road trip everywhere, spent most of her time in the States. About a year ago we started noticing that her Instagram posts were getting kind of weird. Like, crazy kind of weird. We actually were wondering if she had some sort of brain tumour or something. Apparently it was just thyroid issues though? And since then she seemed okay.

So like two or three weeks ago she showed up at my mom’s house just to kind of visit the neighborhood again, came inside and had a normal conversation with my mom and all. But then my mom started noticing her van drive by like, every single day after that. Sometimes she’d pull over and sit there a few minutes then drive away again.

Apparently yesterday my mom saw her come and park in the neighbour’s driveway (at the house where she used to live). Said neighbour saw her on their cameras put something at their front door so he called the across the road neighbour (Margaret) to have her check because he wasn’t home.

Well before Margaret could even look outside, she heard a super load crash at her front door. It wasn’t a knock it was a loud crash sound. When she opened her door Nicole was there swinging something around that was wrapped in a sweater… and when Margaret talked to her she just sort of mumbled and walked away, went and took back whatever she left at the front door of the other house, got in her van and left again.

Then later when my mom was going somewhere she found a purse hanging on the outside door handle of our house. She took it inside and opened it and it had a broken bottle of mayonnaise, a jar of honey, a tube with a joint in it, an empty glasses case, a bunch of random notes (my mom didn’t read them though), and a 2022 planner in it. The planner was wrapped up the way you’d wrap a bow around a Christmas present, except the bow was made out of plastic wrap… so of course my mom is like… wtf is this?

We’re thinking Nicole for some reason smashed her purse against Margaret’s door and that’s why the mayonnaise bottle was broken in her purse. WHY she had a bottle of mayo and a jar of honey in a purse or why she left it hanging on my mom’s front door, I have no idea.

Her Instagram posts have also been getting weird again, and she’s gotten weirdly religious or “spiritual” as she calls it. She posted a picture of a random lady at the beach saying she thought she had a bomb attached to her. She posts a lot of weird screenshots of text messages with no captions or context too. When she does have a caption it usually makes no sense.

My mom messaged her just saying “hey I think I have your purse…” but hasn’t heard anything from her.

Margaret was also telling my mom that she was talking to another lady who used to be good friends with Nicole, and she was saying that when Nicole visits her she says some really strange things. Stuff about like, pedophile rings and shit. She said she’s actually kind of scared of her now and they were really good friends.

It’s just a guess and hopefully we’re wrong but the neighbours who now live in the house that Nicole used to own are a gay couple. And you know how some super ignorant people have this stupid belief that all gay guys are pedophiles? 😐 Hopefully it’s nothing like that, never knew her to be homophobic when she lived there but she wasn’t having any mental problems back then. Plus with this weird “spiritual” stuff she’s always on about, who knows.

I’m glad they have cameras because my mom and Margaret don’t. (I keep saying Margaret needs to get them though because there’s another guy in the neighborhood who has some sort of mental problem that causes him to walk around yelling at himself and/or nothing (that we can see), who goes to her house multiple times a day to see if she’ll give him money. Then he’ll like, walk around her house and pick up a stick or two to make it look like he did some work for it. And Margaret is like an 80 year old lady that lives alone with just a dog that’s old af too. But that’s a whole other thing lmao.) I just told my mom make sure you lock the doors and if she comes over again, don’t freaking answer it. 😭

Anyway. Me thinks Nicole either needs to go to a brain doctor again or she BADLY needs the mental health ward at the hospital. She’s for sure got something going on. I will not be surprised if she shows up again and cops end up being called.