#_it didnt happen_
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slept like 15 hours, which is great, but also (seemingly) spent that entire time having one long, incredibly vivid nightmare, which is. not so great
#and the thing abt nightmares is that they stick around#even tho im awake now. i know im awake now. i still feel like im there#or i guess more specifically i still feel like the things that were true in the nightmare are still true here#namely: that i had a stage 4 brain tumour and had been given weeks to live#which. i get _why_ thats what i dreamed abt#id been looking up my recent symptoms and a brain tumour was mentioned as a potential cause uhhh multiple times#not that i actually think i have a brain tumour#i dont#but still#i guess my brain held onto it#its dumb cause most of my nightmares are simple straightforward shit like someone's chasing me n trying to kill me or w/e#or theres some apocalyptic disaster#things that suck in the dream but that are usually p easy to “leave behind” once i wake up#like i know no one's chasing me anymore bc im lying in bed not running around or hiding or w/e i was doing in the dream#but this one was so. normal#i was on _discord_#i had to tell my _friends_#my brain keeps trying to file it away as a waking-world memory instead of a dream-world one#not to mention it clearly wants to pick up where it left off#like no. you dont have to tell me what wouldve happened next. you dont have to remind me of how i felt in the dream#_it didnt happen_#anyway#glad i got so much sleep at least
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