#not all victims feel the same way about their abusers

[dirtyoldmanhole]

i'm going to be musing about one of gunter's most controversial lines here just because i've been idly thinking about it while drawing.

heads up for dead dove shit.

context: the JP version of Fates:Conquest had a region-locked minigame ("skinship" where you basically pet the character with your stylus lol) where you the player could interact more with a married gunter if you went that route - it also had several JP-only lines which you can read here.

generally they aren't that much different in tone than the EN ones though fun to read (especially since the minigame is lowkey sexual in nature; all the cast's lines were more strongly sexual not just his), but there was one line that uh. raised some eyebrows in the EN fandom when the fan-translators found it, shall we say.

in bold; (i've added some of the others for helpful context; i don't believe all of them are said one after the other, as it's whenever you choose to enter the minigame one is said).

By no means did I think these feelings would develop… Close your eyes for a moment. I apologize… I thought just touching you would be fine… When you touch me like that… Don’t tease me too much… or even someone like me won’t be able to endure it. (TL: He uses the verb “tawamureru” which means to play, joke, or flirt but I decided to liberally change it to tease) You’ve returned. We mustn’t… Oh no… I thought of you as a child but… I love you. Haha… is something the matter? Is it fine for me to touch you too? This side of you… don’t show it to anyone else. My wife… does cute things… I love you. I might have regarded you with special feelings ever since you were young. (A RANK:) Thank you very much for being kind to me to this extent. For as long as you wish it… I promise never to leave your side. (S RANK:) I thought I would always live alone. But you… lit a flame once more in my heart which I had locked away. This time I won’t let you go. I love you more than anyone else.

(... once again touched at how surprisingly romantic he can be)

anyway! oh yes, That Line.

tsk tsk.

given his position of power with essentially raising corrin, you can imagine how some people who already disliked the ship tended to leap on that line as "proof" of him sexually abusing corrin as a child to put it bluntly.

thoughts are still rotating, but roughly in order of:

instinctively (and the most boring position just to get it out of the way) on the first level i don't like how often this line is immediately whipped out to dissuade gunter/corrin shippers specifically but also shippers in general from engaging with taboo sexual concepts. especially when it's just as boringly... crudely blunt as "pedo". (slightly adjacent to gunter fans in general since there's sometimes an uneasy feeling that as long as you don't ship him that way with a 40-year age gap/parental figure/etc there's an exception carved out as "one of the good shippers" as long as you ship him with less of a power differential (eg gunter/shura. note i dig that ship, this is just an example.); though i think this sentiment has thankfully died down as of late versus the early years of fates fandom.)

god that is such a fustratingly common and boring way to engage with media. moving on.

on the second level down, i also instinctively dislike the feeling that it's whipped out to flatten the potential of gunter being romantically/sexually written as either binary concepts of "good" and "bad-touch", with the latter being often pointed out with an accusatory finger. personally i like reading bad-touch gunter for the lulz sometimes. also for the nuance given how sadly complex child abuse/grooming/pedophilia is in real life, and how it impacts the victim in so many ways beyond the obvious. and shocker - i like reading predatory-gunter sometimes even for cranking-the-hog-material! (predatory-gunter is kinda hot, man.) sometimes all of the above at the same time. i think all of these readings is just as applicable and interesting and needful as redemptive-gunter stories. (it's a very similar reason to why i fucking love possessed!gunter noncon what-if setups.)

and the above point doesn't even go into the nuance of can-you-even-have-redemption with the above if you want it. how would that work. how would that work in rev-verse vs conquest (different flavors of anankos possession going on in both. it's so much more complex than your usual grooming story if you frame it that way because his own agency is literally a question mark the entire time, which is endlessly fascinating to me with the horror potential as being a double victim in some ways. is this actually anankos' influence more than anything? how would everyone feel about that? especially anankos being corrin's bio-dad?)

going back to the quote itself there's even several other ways to interpret it that's not a crude (and imo annoying) distraction of moralizing.

like i always found it interesting that for a guy who deliberately self-censors 95% of the time, that he kinda blurts that out in a weak moment (which is already one interpretation, that it's semi accidental). why would he say that to corrin?

seriously, why would he?

i don't think he's trying to scare her off (like he does with some lines when he's a little insecure about his age).

what if he's genuinely fond of and loves corrin with a nuanced blend of fatherly love at the begining but yeah it did turn sexual towards the end (plus fatherly love) and either he doesn't want to exactly interrogate himself when that changed (because i personally think he holds a lot of understandable guilt over these feelings in general), or he isn't thinking about that at the moment and like. how the hell do you relay something like that without caveat-ing yourself to hell.

i think it's one of the few times here he's actually trying to be emotionally honest and vulnerable about how shits' complicated to him too. (and keep in mind he is not in general..... as emotionally aware as the tumblr crowd lol. he's an old man.)

there's a funny line in my head right now of "schrodinger's daddy dom" where society right now is a-okay with a daddy kink from the little's side but metatextually we've created a situation where it's impossible to create a three-dimensional daddy dom that is somehow free of sin and yet has honest to god sexual desires of his own especially in a messy situation like this.

especially in an evolving situation like this when it was very clear by the S-support he wasn't ever anticipating corrin to reciprocate his feelings, and he was dealing with his budding feelings by essentially just keeping it to himself. (canonically, he wanted to do the least-messy thing by not involving himself with corrin. it's only if corrin/you pursue him that he even gets this far.)

the extra funny thing:

all of this is dependent on the translation. culturally, through this whole game of telephone, the line itself may have some other JP specific connotations that we aren't aware of. christ what i wouldn't give to pay a fluent JP translator who didn't mind engaging with dead dove concepts to go through his support chain + these lines and give notes there.

....

and that's probably not even all of my thoughts but it's an essay as-is. :P

[monsterlimbs]

BG3 did incredible at making the bad guys so incredibly sympathetic/empathetic honestly. Coming from someone who is so so so so insanely justice oriented, I feel BAD for all the villains and bad people in the game. I think they deserve better. I already made a post on Orin a second ago so now we're doing all the big bads because she reminded me how funny it is, for me who's so set on justice to be like "free my girl! she's not a good person or innocent I just think she deserves better" lol. So we're doing Gort's post!!!!!!!!!

Gortash was a normal child born to a poor family who couldn't handle it and, FREQUENTLY, told him he was a nasty child for being... a child. For sure he was being neglected, not just in the way of lack of food due to no money, but also socially so. So he turned to creating toys (productive instead of destructive!!!! good boy!) and they were... pissed? Oh, and remember, this little boy for sure had no friends so his only comfort was tinkering with scraps leftover from whatever projects his parents worked on in the shop.

And then, they sold Gortash to a fucking devil for some money (that hardly even did shit for them, imagine how angry he was to return and he saw them living the same life they led when he was a child, after HE was sent to HELL, so THEY could have a BETTER life and they didn't even fucking do that.) and he had to live his childhood in Hell, in constant abuse. How many gods do you think he prayed to, begging for freedom? And in this world, the gods are DEFINITIVELY real and listening, so how many gods do you think ignored him? Ignored an abused, sniffling child in the Hells, who up until this point has done nothing wrong and only wants to be safe, loved, and in a place he gets to tinker with some toys?

Whether you hate the man he became or not, just for a moment think of the child he was. Always told he was too bitchy and whiney for being a normal child, then sold to a devil, sent to Hell, abused to the point I honestly think it's a miracle he survived, ignored by tens of gods.

And then, he still had the strength to GET FREE, and find Bane, who made him even stronger. Made it so that HE'D never be the victim again. Made it so that he could not only never be the victim again, but that he'd thrive. That he'd be on top of the world.

Then he meets Durge, who I honestly believe to be his first friend (he, for sure, had no friends in his parents' home, and everyone in Raphael's House of Hope was either sentenced to do something weird, hated him, or just generally not his pal). And I also believe this to be vice versa as well. Durge has kinda been forced to kill everyone he loves, but Gortash, Gortash he CAN'T kill, because for once, Bhaal sees a man that's important to his own plan, sees a man that he can let Durge befriend because it's better for the plan. So they become friends, and I for sure believe that they were both manipulating each in the beginning but actually became REAL friends eventually (maybe even always manipulating each other, but in a mutual, "I see what you're doing and I raise your mild manipulation to major manipulation" back and forth, almost playful way). And they totally fucked, but I'm trying to be kinda unbiased here, so whether they were more than fuck buddies or not is not important here, but they WERE friends in my opinion. Not even in my opinion, it's fact, "He did miss this" is a legit quote from the narrator after succeeded an insight check. They respected each other, saw each other in ways they saw no other, because no other was so fucked up and evil that he could go "I killed a man yesterday" and be responded to in kind. Anyone else, and their stomach would turn. But they've found their other half in a way, a man of mental strength, self control (...ish), and general respectability. Someone they can both rant to without judgement! Truly, who else would listen to these two men rant about what they've done, WITHOUT setting the guards on them? Also, Durge was formidable and had Gortash's same goals so he liked that. Durge also knew to keep personal things and business separate, so even if he and Gortash had arguments and such outside of The Plan™, they managed to keep it under the table and focus on The Plan when important and Gortash liked that even more.

But this post is supposed to be less about Durge so anyway, then Ketheric's added to the mix and Ketheric doesn't share their ideals so much but when he's being kept busy, he's at least a good work dog in Gortash's eyes. The Plan's all coming together now, and Gortash is busy and stressed no doubt, but he's no one's victim, the world is in his hands, and he has a friend! It's perfect.

And then his friend disappears, and Durge's annoying little sister replaces him. But he knows to keep personal stuff and business stuff separated, so he tolerates her, binds her blades, and has to shoulder a bit more of the plan now (do you really think Orin is willing to be civil at all and talk through details of the plane with Gortash like Durge would? She's doing her part of the plan well and scaring the sheep into Gortash's protection BUT she's not going above and beyond like I think Durge did, so he's left to his own devices to sort through shit.)

And now!!! His buddy's back!!!!!! THANK GOD YOU'RE BACK DURGE I MISSED YOU I mean hello now you can kill your stupid little annoying sister and- why do you have a certain tiefling with you. dear god you're consorting with peasants Durge. you were so strong and cool before what are you DOING buddy. Even funnier if Durge is romantically involved w Karlach and adores her, because I PUT HER IN HELL AND NOW MY PRECIOUS LITTLE FRIEND IS KISSING HER WHEN THEY SHOULD BE KISSING ME I mean when they should be focusing on The Plan™. Even, even, even funnier if Durge is total resist and refuses to make a plan with Gort, because he totally thinks they're going to come to their senses eventually, and instead they just. kill him. At one point, he even says "No. You have to stop her. Do it! Now!", because he still believes Durge is on his side and would totally stop Karlach. After all, why wouldn't they when they "share so much history"?

But also, if they're a resist Durge but still w the plan... he's happy for them. Imo, ACTUALLY happy for them. He's like "oh you left your father? wonderful! now you don't have any master or urges to bind you and we can finally focus on getting that damned netherbrain back in our hands!" but he's cool w embraced durge too. because either way, as long as you have a pact w him, he's safe in his mind w you and he's happy you're taking over the brain with him. And he's totally willing to share his kingdom w you. In fact, he WANTS to rule together as kings, which in Bane's rulebook is the first bad thing ever. He's being a BAD Banite, just because he's kinda lonely and wants someone to rule w in my opinion. But not just anyone, someone Cool™ and probably evil so he can be like "my slaves over there are being so annoying" and then have his buddy respond w sympathy. ....Sympathy for him, not the slaves. Which. Is fucking awful and I'm glad he's not real for that fact. But anyway

If you follow through w the pact, and reach the boat and everything, he lets you hit him once funnily enough. And he responds so childishly, by kicking you back! It's so funny to me

And briefly off topic, but I believe he's so childish because the way he grew up sort of stunted his maturity. Like, he's smart enough and charismatic enough that he can put on a good face for the public eye, but the second alone he's biting his pillow, having massive tantrums when shit goes sideways, having his guards sentenced to death if they stare at him weirdly, essentially doing everything an angry child would when they've been "wronged" in their eyes

Now back to topic, you reach the brain and it immediately fucking kills him. For a man so set on being in control, no longer being anyone's victim, finally being free to do what he wants... it's ironic he dies in this way. And though he's, for sure, a completely fucked up dude, it's a little bit sad to me honestly.

[royalcommunistthor]

tell you what these people neither care about thor nor they care about loki. they just need to WOOBIFY loki that's IT and who is the closest to loki and affect loki? thor. yes, poor loki loves their abuser and sends destroyer to kill his brother (and you will also find these people justifying this by saying loki wasn't in right mind)

they will often mention that they love thor but no one is falling for their bs. what do you mean that being an abuser makes thor more interesting. I think you have an affinity towards abuse babe if you should get help. projecting on a fictional character is not going to help in long run

thor keeps being thrown under the bus every two weeks because of his association with loki. dude's only fault is that he couldn't stop loving that greasy weasel even after enduring countless abuse from loki. loki clearly ruined his life

tbf woobifyng has been around since the beginning of time so like they had to do it to him i guess. i will never understand why it's such a persistent and universal fandom phenomenon lest of all why anyone would do /ALL THAT/ for a man played by tom hiddleston. but. that's not any of my business.

don't even get me started on the whole jotun thing. MCU LOKI DOES NOT EXPERIENCE RACISM, MCU LOKI DOES NOT EXPERIENCE MARGINALISATION OF *ANY* KIND, MCU LOKI IS NOT BULLIED BY THOR, HE IS CERTAINLY NOT BULLIED BY HEIMDALL. can't believe this is something that apparently STILL has to be said- over and over might I add- despite the movies spoonfeeding it to you. the deleted scene has loki torment a servant, another scene that has been kept in has loki saying a guard should be FLOGGED for *gasp* taking too long. mans talking about subjugation and birthrights for like 3 movies straight. HE IS THE BULLY, BITCH!

what loki's jotun heritage reveal in the mcu does is RECONTEXUALISE LOKI'S RELATIONSHIP WITH POWER (which is 😘🤌) it doesn't mean that loki hadn't been wronged but it also doesn't make him experience racial discrimination! if anything, loki is time and time again shown to have everything back to front (which is honestly what makes him fun)- he grossly miscalculates thor's 'golden child' status, he spits that odin could never have a frost giant on the throne of asgard and then sits on that very throne a heartbeat later BECAUSE HE IS SECOND IN LINE! he thinks thor will never forgive him or see him in the same light as before - AND THOR FORGIVES HIM AND LOVES HIM, LOVES HIM EVEN WHEN HE'S ANGRY WITH HIM OR FEELING BETRAYED. it's literally the constant in loki's life.

thing about mcu thor & loki is that they essentially start in the same place, i mean it LITERALLY & FIGURATIVELY. we see them orbiting their father, eager for his attention and praise; their flashback as children running parallel. THEY GROW APART AND CHANGE IN DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS which is THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT, as you know...a basic storytelling device, but they're very clearly raised as equals, yes odin says they were both raised to be kings but we don't really know what that means; was loki meant to be a puppet king of jotunheim or a different client kingdom? were thor & loki meant to co-rule? was he meant to be thor's advisor/shadow co-king? was this a line from an earlier version of the script that just didn't get amended or taken out? we might never know, but one thing is certain; being the second son of a royal family is not oppression. the way this fandom talks about him you'd think he's fucking cinderella.

i hate the whole abuse debacle but for argument's sake like a person who manipulates you into being punished and then also tries to kill you several times would be the abuser. thing about thor is that he doesn't see himself as a victim and i think that's overwhelmingly a good thing because it makes him a more interesting character and it makes his relationship with him family more complex, he's anchored in by that deep personal connection no matter what happens - not to cringe quote star wars here but he loves his family more than anything they can do wrong. and BOY, wrong they do.

[angy-grrr]

ppl who are talking shit about the manga just because Endeavor is not in jail and the others still talk to him -what are you even talking about?

Some people already talked about how relatable this is for Asian families and the society that punishes in any case victims more than abusers -but also, this is really common in other contexts too. Idk who is able to just get a whole family to agree on punishing the father, of all of the members (usually the one that holds the most power, emotionally and economically), and start the whole process to get him to go jail. Who thinks this is so easy?

Dabi expected to change the way people saw his father by exposing him, but as we saw, people still consider him a hero and admire him, and in any case people were criticizing his inability to control his kid. Are we not reading the same manga? Their society is literally trying to be the same as it was, because thats what the status quo does. You think a war or two change what is considered good in a system? You think the cycle could just stop so easily? That society doesnt support abusers, especially when the one who exposes it is "the villain" accusing "the greatest hero"? Or you even think, in a micro level, that its easy to cut ties with your abusers, especially when they tell you they want to change for the better?

Family is extremely important in many, many cultures, to the point that is a relevant point to bring up in political discussions -the familial structure just changing a little bit is considered reason enough to vote the far right. Women are still shamed collectively for getting divorced, labelled as bad mothers, bad women, inhuman. Kids not talking to their parents says worse things about the victims than the abusers. Why wouldn't you talk to them, after everything they have done for you? Why wouldnt you, when you owe them your whole existence?

And you are here, expecting a divorce, everyone going no contact, Endeavor in jail and everyone all of the sudden thinking they should get into other people's privacy -because getting abused, hurt, etc, at large, is considered a personal problem, that you should resolve on your own without involving others.

Because thats what its normalized, not acting when people need help. That's the whole point.

Everything will be the same. Except it just can't.

And its worthy to show the how to start getting there, than pretending things would change just like that..

We are living with the rising of the new far right trying to get votes, multiple genocides while the military tries to recruit using tiktok, AI and cute girls, multiple countries maintaining slavery systems and models, accelerated exploitation of nature, people and life in general, climate change and covid deniers getting in power... And you think a war and the exposure of abuse would change a society and social system in that way?

No, the change doesnt come from magic, just like that, but thru action and organization. Im hoping the next chapters can show us how Izuku feels about most people pretending everything is fine when he cant agree.

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

I think you might have been a father to me, once.

You used to be more than just another man who hurt me in my life.

Reference pic!

[watcherintheweyr]

desperately need people to understand that alicent is a victim but she’s also an abuser and a perpetrator

that she actively makes choices to harm other women because of jealousy and envy and the greed deep in her bones because submitting to suffering didn’t get her what those women fight to grasp for themselves.

she is absolutely a victim, in show.

that doesn’t change that she abused rhaenyra and her children, her own son, most likely helaena given how she flinches every time her mother touches her, and is actively weaponizing the patriarchy of westeros against other women- rhaenyra primarily, but also mysaria and dyana.

she isn’t the moral, righteous force of good that even she thinks she is, she’s a wounded woman directing all of the rot, pain, and fury inside her at the wrong people and forces.

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

.

[57sfinest]

actually i do want to make this a post. it’s so interesting to think about harry from other people’s perspectives, especially if they’re people who were around him before martinaise. because the thing about harry is: he’s a spectacle. there is not a single person left to him who genuinely *cares*. but there are people who take an interest for interest’s sake. harry is the car crash that people can’t look away from, and it’s such a rich lens to view him through.

let’s exclude jean, judit and trant because there’s already enough you can say about them as the sole remaining members of the major crimes unit. think of the other officers who worked at the 41st. whether they worked in c-wing with him or not, they were exposed to him. they had to be around him in some capacity. as a lieutenant, he was “responsible” (i use that term loosely) for overseeing a number of subordinates under the rank system. 

like put yourself in the shoes of a patrol officer at the 41st. you know harry as, in a word, unstable. a deeply unreliable man of extremes with alarmingly few personal attachments to keep him in check. he’s also practically untouchable as long as he keeps getting results, which he does, at a cost. so there’s never any point in formally complaining about him- he’s never going to be corrected or fired, so you just do one of the following: 1) keep your mouth shut (if you’re polite or playing it safe), 2) only bitch about him out of earshot (if you’ve got something to say but you’re nonconfrontational), 3) start shit with him but in a “playful” way that is secretly sincere (if you’re ballsy/have known him long enough), 4) or start shit with him for real (if you’re jean, or have a death wish). 

and the thing about the last two of those options- *especially the 3rd, which seems to be the favorite of his fellow C-wingers*- you have to know him VERY WELL to pull it off without ostensibly getting your nose broken (or worse). you have to know his moods and his triggers and what exact cocktail of bullshit he’s displaying that day so you know where the line is for this particular shift. whoever figures it out first passes it along to everyone else- hey, you can fuck with him about dating today, but don’t bring up the drinking or last week’s case or he’ll go ballistic. and it’s just like... he’s a specimen. you may not know him on a personal heart-to-heart level, but you know him the way a zookeeper knows their tigers, or the way the falconer knows their hawk. you know when to feed and when to back away with your arms up. it doesn’t make things better, but it stops them getting worse. (for you, anyway).

then martinaise happens and if he comes back- his instability is still there, but it’s not the same. you don’t recognize the way he’s acting. maybe some things are not as bad as before, but all of it is different and it’s impossible to get a read on it. you have no idea how to approach him now, or if you should approach him at all. there’s a new layer to his unreliability and it’s somehow even scarier than before. there’s a tiny tiny calm in his storm, finally, and you don’t know when it’s going to break or what’s going to break it. you hear he’s finally actually kicking the booze and maybe you just scoff and move on, or maybe you let yourself root for him. really it all depends on how long you’ve known him, how many times you’ve seen him *try*. how sympathetic you are to his conditions and how patient of a person you are. how many times he’s hurt you (because that number is rarely going to be zero). no matter what, you’re going to be left wondering. you don’t know how much of him is gone. you don’t know how much is going to come back. you’re not sure how much of each you *want*.

[embright]

you guys just don't know how to write angst anymore. putting people who say they like "toxic yaoi" in my dni cause they have no idea how to actually write toxicity

[unproduciblesmackdown]

another day another "applying the concept 'disposability' to 'someone withdraws from a personal relationship, & that wasn't signed off on by the other'" kill me

[transkingcobra]

Consent PSA: Even blanket consent can be revoked at any point. Consent is never a one and done.

“Ascended Astarion can’t be abusive, Tav consented!”

Do you realize even perfectly average and happy marriages (where you consent to be together forever) in our real life can become abusive?

You realize the point of healthy dynamics and consent is that at any point that can be revoked and re-negotiated, right?

That people get stuck conforming to their originally-consented-to rules now without consent because of their situation in real life? Where none of this magic thrall stuff exists?

You can absolutely abuse someone that originally consented to anything, especially if there is a power dynamic in your favor.

Consent is not a one and done. Previous consent does not overrule current consent.

It is absolutely possible for him to be abusive should a moment happen where Tav changes their mind or doesn’t agree with him anymore and he keeps going anyway. He’s their master, he can just do that.

Anyone can become abusive, even to loved ones - usually especially to loved ones - especially the morally bitchy traumatized vampire with a fuckload of new power.

(This post is AA neutral. I legit thought all the discourse was people doing some variation and combination of forcing headcanons and ignoring canon on both sides, and being really weird about what is moral, not saying the cartoonishly evil character cannot be abusive at all ???? His path is escaping abuse and healing vs. getting stuck in the abuse cycle. That’s his whole deal. If your Tav wants what he’s doing for all eternity then good for them, that’s a very specific line to live. But he is still, always and forever, capable of abuse.)

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

analyzing hermes, emet-selch, the ancients and ascians, how they're written, and the fandom's reaction to them be like hm. emet-selch's role in this fuckery is compounded by the fact that his backstory as a genocide survivor is incongruous with his ruling a huge genocidal colonialist world power in the present da [ANTISEMITISM BLAST]

[jopzer]

some of the takes on this webbed site. good lord you people will not be seeing the pearly gates

[melancholic-fig]

What I loved about the Substance was that it took impossible body standards imposed on women seriously. It didn't treat me like a kid throwing a temper tantrum about not being sexy. It didn't try to tell me "everyone is beautiful" and "every body is a beach body" in a pitiable voice that makes it all worse. There's no one singing to me about how "I cannot see my own beauty", as if validation from men will ever be enough to cover the black hole in my stomach drilled by years of self-loathing, binging-purging cycles and appetite-suppression pills. It haven't stopped for a second to congratulate itself for platitudes.

The substance threw an ice bucket on my head, grabbed me by the shoulders, dragged me to the mirror and told me "look at what violence you're inflicting on yourself!". It showed me a perfect body, the carrot on the stick, and then it hit it with a sledgehammer in white neon light. Is it worth it? Aren't you mad? Look at how he eats shrimp and doesn't wash his hands - is this the person you want to be liked by? Is this what you deserve for being human, really?

I've seen this movie on Friday and it's been stuck in my head ever since. I haven't looked in the mirror the same again. Somehow this made me kinder to myself.

I've seen reviewers say that this movie counts as "male gaze" and "violence against women" but I think they don't see the forest from the trees here.

First the male gaze: it felt like a deconstruction, in the best way. Sue's butt was the least erotic thing ever put to screen. The soft porn dance studio was shot in a lifeless manner, I felt like my mom was reading the browse history. Personally, I'd never want to have Sue's job. Even the sexist dudes that watch the movie seem to "get it", that their overly sexual media diet looks embarassing under the microscope. The medium is the message, and the sound and visual cues are all there to make sex appeal look very unappealing and immature. There's nothing sexy in "Pump it up", it's catchy and fun and has sexual undertones, but not a hint of sensuality.

Then the violence against women: there is only one scene where a man attacks a woman, and I'll not spoil it, but i'll say it's so bizzare it feels too cartoony to count. The rest of the violence is all self-inflicted. Every step of the way. Women don't just suffer abuse under patriarchy from men, they self-inflict and reenforce the structures of their own suffering onto others. Elizabeth is a fitness coach actively making bank off of other women's fears, and in the process of telling everyone over x kg to skip lunch she's grown her own self-loathing too. It wasn't really the horny men watching the fitness show, isn't it? Sue is even worse, she goes on talk shows to tell women her looks come from being kind, a silly statement considering she injects herself daily with an old woman's spine liquid while loathing her for existing. Elizabeth and Sue are both victims and perpetuators of violence, and it's gruesome because it's not a silly feminine thing, it's all-encompassing and a matter of life and death. Without violence, what would be the message of the movie? "It kinda sucks to be a woman hating your body". Doesn't sting, isn't it? This is not chopping women and putting them in refrigerators to give the good guy a reason to kill the baddie, this has to be violent to show the depth of pain of the protagonist. It's necessary. And I like it, because crying and wallowing in pain is not the behaviour you want to see on screens, it feels lethargic and leads to the problem not being taken as seriously.

[pochaccoups]

hhu’s love languages (nsfw)

seungcheol —; biting

oh, how he loves to sink his teeth into your precious skin.

he’ll admit it—it’s a little bit (read: a lot) of a possessive thing. it’s not enough for him to have you face down, ass up, writhing underneath him as he pounds you into tomorrow. he just can’t resist from leaning over you, pressing his broad, sweat-slicked chest to your back, and clamping down on the curve of your neck with his teeth.

it doesn’t help that you say his name so pretty when he does; a breathy, high-pitched moan of two syllables—“cheollie,”—that drives him to insanity.

and it’s not just your neck that falls victim to his bite. it’s his favourite, yes—it’s easily accessible in all of your favourite positions, after all. but no part of you is safe.

when his head is between your legs, he kisses up along your calf, mouths at the fat of your thigh before you feel the soft sting of his teeth sinking into it. only then is he satisfied. only then does he give you what you want: his mouth on your pussy as he eats you out so good it leaves your entire body shaking.

when you’re sat in his lap, bouncing on his cock like a bitch in heat despite the way your thighs burn, his mouth finds your tits like a moth to a flame. they’re sensitive, he knows that, so he’s considerate enough to go a little easier on them, nibbling at the soft skin. he’ll still leave his mark on them, of course, only instead of bite marks he litters your chest with dark little love bites.

he loves nothing more than seeing your reaction to his dirty little habit. when you waddle off to the bathroom and leave him laying there in post-orgasm bliss, a yelp of his name has him grinning and jumping to his feet.

he finds you glaring at the mirror, with your hair a mess and your features flustered from the sight of the perfect teeth indentation on your right shoulder.

“i look like a shark attack survivor! how am i supposed to cover this?” you ask, exasperated.

and the worst thing about choi seungcheol is how hard it is to be mad at him. when he presses himself against you, snakes his arms around your waist, and drops his head to dot kisses all over the mark in question, you find yourself melting into him with an ease like it’s ingrained in you.

eventually, he speaks up, muttering his words into your skin: “don’t cover it.”

wonwoo —; hand holding

wonwoo, your sweet wonwoo. so shy that he gets flustered when you hold his hand in public.

in the dim lighting of your bedroom, though, he’s not so shy. in fact it’s you who’s flustered, your body searing hot, your head spinning from the weight of your boyfriend on top of you.

he’s got you manhandled onto your stomach, kneeling between your spread legs, fucking you like he’s trying to carve the shape of his cock into your very womb. what’s worse is the way his hands, lithe and pretty, take yours, pinning you to the mattress so he can drive his hips harder into you.

“w-wonwoo,” you sob, squeezing and grasping at the fingers that are laced with yours.

“hmm? what’s wrong, pretty girl?” he asks, practically cooing into your ear. “can’t take it?”

“i can,” you whimper, clenching around him, pressing your hips up into his thrusts. to show him.

“yeah, there you go. fuck, take my cock so good, don’t you?”

if you were to try and tell anyone that jeon wonwoo was capable of speaking like this, you’re sure they wouldn’t believe you. the wonwoo who can barely hold your hand in front of others, let alone kiss you? that wonwoo?

it’s the same wonwoo who fucks your face without remorse, who fingers you until you squirt, who eats you out until you can’t feel your legs—that wonwoo. and the best thing about him is that he’ll hold your hand through all of them, even as he abuses your poor cunt, like it’s reassurance. a touch of mercy to remind you he’s still your boyfriend who loves you so much even if he fucks you like an ex.

after all, he is a romantic. what’s more romantic than your pretty boyfriend holding your hands when he’s fucking your brains out?

mingyu —; choking

it may or may not be his habit of playfully grabbing his members by their neck that floods your mind with the idea of being in their place.

you’ve always had a thing for mingyu’s hands, even before you’d started dating him. the sheer size of them, the thickness of his fingers—all of it would have you squeezing your thighs together at just the thought of what he could use them for. (to make you see heaven and above, as you came to find out).

but mingyu is a gentleman in the most literal sense of the word. he’s big, he’s strong, and he compensates for that by treating you like glass. not that he doesn’t fuck you hard when you ask, but putting his hands around your neck is not something that even enters his mind. he’d let himself be struck dead before he’d use his strength to harm you.

fortunately, you’re good at getting your way with him—especially when he’s got his dick buried inside you. every last shred of his rationality goes straight out the window the moment he feels the hot, wet embrace of your pussy around him.

he grabs at your hips, your thighs, your tits; his fingers cling to every inch of your skin to keep himself from falling over the edge of insanity because you’re so fucking tight around him that it’s dizzying.

“gyu,” you moan, and he’s alert in an instant, like a dog called on by its owner, ready for his next command. “choke me?”

his thrusts falter and his features are questioning, yet you don’t miss the way his cock throbs against your walls at your words.

“baby, i don’t know if i should-”

“please, gyu?” you plead, gazing up at him, tightening your thighs where they’re wrapped around your waist. “for me?”

and kim mingyu is many things, but tenacious is not one of them.

when it comes to you he’s hopeless, nothing but a weak fool in love. it’s why he doesn’t stop you when you take him by his wrist and guide his giant hand to sit just above your clavicle. you don’t make him squeeze or anything, you leave that up to him. you just want him to see it, to feel it. to get a glimpse into the fantasy you’ve been keeping from him.

his hips slow, his eyes darkening as he gazes down at you with an affection you’ve never seen from him. gently, his fingers, which almost wrap around the entire circumference of your neck, start to press. it’s barely enough pressure to tickle, but fuck, it’s so hot it sends your eyes rolling back.

suddenly mingyu gets it. adrenaline flushes through his body and goes straight to his cock—it’s a sight he wants etched into his brain forever. your eyes hazy, a tiny, content smile on your kiss-swollen lips, his massive hand gripping your neck as he fucks you with a new kind of fervour. he gets it, and he can’t believe he didn’t get it sooner.

you can see it clearly—how, in just a matter of time, he’ll have his forehead pressed to yours, his cock grazing the spot that has you seeing stars over and over while his hand cuts off your airflow, choking you hard, the way you’ve always wanted.

vernon —; spitting

is it cliche and predictable to assign him this? maybe. but what if he’s not the one doing the spitting?

he’s a little bit obsessed with letting you do what you want with him. it’s not a dom or sub thing—vernon’s an easygoing guy in all aspects of life, and if you feel like sitting in his lap and making out with him until you’re both gasping for air, the last thing he’ll do is complain.

his favourite thing of all is when you ride him. fuck, everything about you is mesmerising; the way you grind your hips over his cock so expertly, the way you brace your hands against his chest, letting your nails rake into his skin ever so often, the way your head tips backwards and your moans spill out in the sweetest song.

vernon gazes up at you like you put the stars in the sky, like you brought about life itself, like he can’t believe he’s the one who gets to see you like this. his eyes, dark, round, and glimmering, are a picture of how enamoured he is with you. he has no idea how crazy it drives you.

it’s natural the way your hand reaches for his cheek, the way your thumb moves to glide over his lips, soft and puffy. vernon falls in love for the millionth time when you dip it inside his mouth, push it gently against his tongue, gathering up his spit on the tip of your finger. it makes his dick jump to be at your mercy like this. his hips buck up into yours, desperate to drive himself even deeper into the addictive heat of your cunt.

you press his mouth open, just slightly, just enough, and lean forward. a pearl of your saliva, of you, lands in the centre of his tongue, and he doesn’t have time to swallow it before your mouth finds his, kissing him with greed. it’s messy—lips smacking, your moans mingling with his, but the thing about vernon is that you cannot get enough of him. even though he’s inside you and you’re skin to skin with and your mouths are connected.

you pull away, your grin cat-like, your attention shifting back to the stretch of his cock as you bounce up and down him with a newfound desperation.

“god, you’re hot,” he whispers, his own lips quirking into a fucked-out smile.

“yeah? you like it when i spit in your mouth, hansollie? so dirty,” you reply.

he doesn’t last much longer after that.