#nobody else is sick
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seems like we are at the crying part of the illness.
#we can postpone cjristmas#gonna talk in da tags for a bit because a post full of perosmal info feels so gross#ive been crying on and off for hours. km so upset being atuck in my fucking room with covid while nobody else is sick at all#and im glad nonody is sick im just so fucking lonely#started symptoms on friday#twsted neg fri and sat. didnt test sundah cause i dont have a lot. tested monday and was psorive#literally slept with my bf all of those nights#shared weed pen on sunday with ofher roommate#nobody else is sick#i just feel so sad and tired. im used to himan or cat affection daily and ive had none. i feel so lonley and trapped#i did everythjng right to avoid being sick and my bf was also with me that whole day and he didnt get sick#i feel stupid weak and pathetic for gettinf sixk. i dont have symptoms anymore but atill positive#im so fucking sad and i can hear people hanging out and they are havjng fun and im glad but im jealous#im so sad and lonely. i want to wrap things for christmas and do more stockjng sruffer shopping. i want to watch movjes with people#i love holidays because i love to hang out with my friends and i fucking cant amd today especially its really tearing me up#my bf is upset that im no communicating and hes trying to cheer me up but everything is making me misribke and i dont know how to stop it#i like to do things for people when theyre sick and i know everyone isnt like me but it hurts to not have that done for me#offering to order food is nice bjt j want skmething made for me but nkbody is as good as i am at making things and i dont want to ask#i dont want to bother people but im literally breakkng down today. cant atop fucjing crying and i feel weak and pathetic. stupid#i tried so hard not to get sick and they are saying o dont want to fucking do that#id rather everyone open stockjngs and do presents without me because im tired of not saying what i got people i want tk show people#i like wrapping gifts and nobody wants me to toich anything because of cocid so others are wrapping things from me for me#i dont know its all very stupid but i feel very alone but also dont want people joking at me to make me feel better. im just mad and sad#ok im done now:) ill post a drawing later#nap time#text
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imagine kevin came back with the foxes instead of staying in west virginia after riko died and he's looking around their dorm room in despair after he sees the damage that jean's rage induced grief inflicted. he's helping clean up & goes to throw stuff in the trash when he see's a pile of andrew's candy bars in there. it's so ridiculous & such a jean thing to do that he actually laughs and suddenly he misses his first and longest best friend so much that he feels sick with it
#sick bc he and jean will never be the same again#sick because jean's the only one who'd understand him in ways nobody else can#sick because of everything riko took from them#sick bc he wants his best friend back#the things these two do to me#kevjean#kevin day#jean moreau#the sunshine court#tsc#all for the game#aftg
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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person#ever had#this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame#idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t#you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing#and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else#there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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A kindling of a swordless bloodshed,
The creaking of a voiceless door —
Another piece inspired by something @mincemeat-the-warforged said that absolutely altered my brain chemistry (the same 1 am conversation that sparked this in fact!)
#curse of strahd#rahadin#strahd von zarovich#sergei von zarovich#my art#curse of strahd spoilers#curse of åsane#every day i wake up and think about strahd and rahadins dynamic#they make me sick#Rahadin being loyal to the von zarovich family rather than *only* to strahd is a critical detail to me#like aze said#wtf do u do when someone kills the only remaining member of ur ‘adoptive’ family#ur stuck w him now. obviously. there’s nobody else to turn to and u still love him despite the atrocities#esp since you’ve done just as much against the people used to belong to. you cut yourself off and now he’s done the same#(through tears) do yall think Rahadin mourned Sergei or do u think he repressed and smothered all those feelings#ik we all laugh at the rahadin amber temple frog incident but despite its weirdness it still shows how much Rahadin *cares*#sorry sorry i have too many thoughts abt this old man#ugh. strangles him#anyway
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I am just hanging out and being regular.
#If nobody else has my back... designing wardrobes for my OCs will#terribyte#my ocs#beebfreeb art tag#I wish I was better at describing and summarizing my stories but also like#These characters are not where the camera is pointing if that makes any sense.#So it's whatever.#Also. These characters are Gavin and Arthur IDR if I said their names at any point.#Sorry about the self-identity obliterating ego death Gavin I love you <3#I think I'm startingn to actually get over being sick yayyy Finally.#Soon I will return to the website mines (started on code overhaul to make my site mobile friendly)#(also I have like 50 more assets to draw on the No Pickles page)#(And intermission 2 on DIDL which I put on hold until mobile friendly update is done)#(but i2 just needs finished illustrations teehee)
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Why are ppl scared to call it what it is and say we’re still going thru covid on top of seasonal illness. Like. That’s pretty important right. I was watching the news and they were like oh yeah we have an unprecedented number of flu cases “as well as other sicknesses” without actually saying Covid. No announcement abt vaccinations or masking or anything. Also if I hear someone joking abt “war flashbacks” for mentioning covid I fucking hate u
#source: most of my family members are nurses and it was so bad for one of them they had to be put on a ventilator. in the hospital they#worked at. looking back I think I had a reason to feel a little offput by the shows of support early pandemic#with people tying blue ribbons around trees and lighting signs blue to support healthcare workers#I get that it was supposed to be moral support when we couldn’t do anything but follow health advisories#and it did matter to make them feel uplifted and do something than nothing. im not gonna deny that#but. you can still help now. u know that right. you still have a responsibility here#u can still mask up. u can still get vaxxed and call in sick to avoid infecting others#don’t leave it on healthcare workers to pick up the pieces just because they were doing it before. do u think they had a choice?#nobody likes picking up the slack for someone else and now that we have more tools to do smth couldn’t we just. do it????#im not a virologist but i also feel like continuing to let it get worse by letting more mutations develop#could continue to set us back since this virus is pretty good at fucking us up long term and finding new ways to do that#while there are ppl still researching covid which is STILL A RELATIVELY NEW VIRUS. and studying possible treatment and cures#yapping#vent
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Tim I noticed a lot of indigenous patches on your jacket, are you Native?
Idk what my dad was 'cause I never knew him, but yeah my mom is (or... Was.. I guess..) Muscogee, the tribe native to the part of Alabama I'm in.
If I remember correctly she came to Alabama from Oklahoma (where a lot of Natives were displaced to in the 1800s) to "get back to her roots."
But yknow, I was separated from her in childhood (which tbh is upsettingly common for Native families) and I was raised in a very white very Catholic asylum so I'm not as connected to the culture as I'd like to be.
-Tim
#OOC: Olea speaking#this is kind of a self-indulgent headcanon but HEAR ME OUT it adds a lot to Tim's character specifically#we're talking about a character who was separated from his mom in childhood and locked up in a psych ward#suffers from chronic physical and mental illness made significantly worse by the institution that was supposed to be helping him#forced to regulate his emotions more than other people have to so he isnt misinterpreted as a threat#struggles with addiction#had to work twice as hard as anyone else in his friend group just to be given the same opportunities#a much more common experience inside BIPOC communities#and he clearly has ties to the land (especially the park) nobody else has#you know how in season 2 Alex starts yapping to Jay about how the park is cursed?#maybe he was right#maybe that *thing* has been here for hundreds of years#and nobody was ever able to settle the land so eventually the Department of Conservation turned it into a state park#and Tim isnt some random “patient zero”#but he has ancestral ties to the land and was more receptive/at risk to Operator Sickness (but was also more resistant to it long term)#JUST SAYIN 👀#im half Katu and I desire my comfort character to be a halfie with me we need more non-white rep in mh#ask.txt#marble hornets#mh#tim wright#afterlife au#slenderverse#Native!Tim
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When you're a kid and people do bad stuff to you or you witness bad things being done, you're encouraged to 'tell someone' and 'not keep it secret' and it's almost like we're responsible for making it known and making it stop, you know, if we don't do it nobody will.
But then when we do talk to the person we think is going to believe it + who has the means to stop it, and we get shut down and silenced, this person,, is not responsible for anything at all? They've just been given this valuable information that took us so much courage to open up about and the responsibility, at this point, should be 100% off of our shoulders because we did it, we Told Someone, it should get resolved now, but no? We get victim blamed and told we're making it up or even worse, that we need to shut up about it to keep the 'peace', and the person who does this to us is somehow clear of all responsibility, despite aiding the abusers blatantly??
I don't care anymore, if we told someone we did our part, and the rest is now on that person's shoulders, or maybe, MAYBE on the abuser's shoulders, because they're the ones committing crimes in the first place and it's literally 0% our fault this monster is out there. We are not responsible for protecting the world from the abusers, especially when we tell on them and you all shut us up and punish us for exposing their crimes.
#child abuse#victim blaming#victim silencing#telling someone about the abuse#enablers#making children responsible for the sins of adults#blaming children for both the abuse and not telling about it#even when we do tell#and nobody else is responsible at all#even when they know about it#i'm sick of this
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What I've learned from a couple weeks of engagement is that I'm going to be pretty chill and flexible regarding like 98% of wedding stuff however I am already conducting an exhaustive survey of every bakery in our metro area because that is the only way to acquire a cake that lives up to my standards.
#i used to bake cakes for all my friends' weddings before i got sick i have Opinions about this#but it's very hard to find places that are good at both baking and decorating#a lot of the places that seem trustworthy flavor-wise only do very minimalist decorating#while a lot of the places with fun-looking cakes are more lackluster in terms of quality#also i like more unique flavors but a lot of them involve fruit (which nate doesn't like)#alcohol (which neither of us like)#or nuts (which we can't have for guest allergy reasons)#ALSO 'wedding-size' cake-cutting is a SHAM#that is not a dessert that is a tiny sliver such as you might use to prepare a microscope slide#which in many cases does not matter because the cake is not. good. so nobody really wants to eat it anyway#but ours IS going to be good so people will be getting meaningful dessert-sized servings Or Else
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been sick as a mf dawg but i managed to draw the ol Ollie n Kari halloween costumes for this year🤘
#ollie#kari#my art#original character#halloween#pyramid head#monster girl#monster bf#monster oc#terato#silent hill#monster#sick n tired of bein sick n tired but tHE TRADITION CONTINUES#insert the meme if i had a nickle for every traumatic experience of someone grotesquely vomiting in front of me#and then me getting sick from anxiety the day after i would have 2#all bc of some guy from a state n a half over who Nobody else knew not being able to handle his liquor nor weed im#bc Somebody never got the fact that strangers from the internet are probably weird and maybe dont drag them with u to closed parties#its almost comical how easily it couldve all been avoided and how i couldve never fukkin knew this guy existed lmfao#but alas that is the trajectory of the eternal curse of living AHA#ANYWAY im good now and i feel bad for the guy i do but For The Love Of God#this damn puke phobia that has plagued me my entire life is going to be the death of me i can feel it mr krabs#the horrors persist but so do i i chant thru gritted teeth#oc#exophilia
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#17.10.22#3144#not pictured is me getting more stressed than that about it & going to ask staff at the doors and whatever else#for definitely way too long than hsould have been needed to realize i dropped my phone under a seat#but ALSO we were 3 people and nobody noticed it so there#CaGab#PoTal#( this was a premiere screening of Inu-Oh btw it's a sick movie )
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Aemond: I'm about to commit some crimes that are so one dimensional
#like wow he wants power and he'll step on anything and anyone to get it#soooo original#I'm not a huge Aemond fan but even I'm sick of it#how are you having me sympathize more with LARYS in an episode than Aemond??#be so for real#I don't care if Aemond is out here committing war crimes if it made sense but it literally doesn't#“Aegon made fun of me one time after we became adults and that made me angry so better kill him”#“No I literally will not reflect at all on how a child's death was caused by my actions”#“I will kick my mom off this counsel even though she fought the king and crown princess for me when nobody else cared”#“but she doesn't say yes to everything I say and she's a WoMaN so better kick her out and be a misogynistic asshole while I do it”#It's. So. Dumb.#aemond targaryen#hotd#house of the dragon#hotd season 2#hotd critical#hotd spoilers#hotd season 2 spoilers
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hey everyone do you ever think about how much of rui's love for nene is stored inside nenerobo
#project sekai#kamishiro rui#kusanagi nene#nenerobo#wxs rui#wxs nene#how nenerobo was literally created by rui because he couldn't stand to see her suffer#couldn't stand to see her lose that spark for theatre and music.#how nenerobo keeps track of nene's limits + boundaries + energy + social battery#how nenerobo just KNOWS what upsets nene and what may throw her off#because rui knows. because rui knows nene like nobody else does#+ i don't know if this is canon because i never found the source material but the self defense system that rui incorporated into nene robo?#when he found out that nene was staying behind after rehearsals to practice??!! ?!? uhahghhgh#he loves her so much it's going to make me sick. i need to consume a brick#also. to this day i still find it hilarious that nenerobo had a SALARY when they worked at phoeniland#the money went straight to rui so he could spend it on her upgrades#but still. the idea of it. cracks me up#like yeah let's start paying this incredibly intricate ai our employed show performer of 17 years made from scratch.#im sure this is Normal
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Couldn’t stop thinking about swing dancer Tim Stoker, I present to you: Swing Stoker :D
#tma#tim stoker#yes he’s dancing with Sasha <3#he’s That Guy whos always on the social dance floor absolutely tearing it up with some sick solo jazz moves#nobody else was creating this crossover of my 2 random passions so i became that person#swing stoker#swing dance
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New food trend: perpetual stew week-- where in you have a stew going in a slowcooker all week and each day you add different ingredients which morphs the stew into something new. For example you start off with a basic meat stew, then once you've eaten all the meat and vegetables and you're left with just the juices, you add curry pucks, chicken, potatoes and onion, and now you have japanese curry. Once you've eaten the stew and you're left with curry sauce you add lentils and coconut milk and now you have lentil soup.
Perpetual stew week y'all
#i could do this if nobody else will lmao#not art#i promise i will actually post art this weekend I've just gotten over my sickness and it's finally fall weather!!!
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anyways if you smoke weed in public i should be allowed to hit you with a chair actually . is my philosophy
#idc if you do it in your house. nobody else wants to smell that#smell makes me actually fucking throwing up sick#tumblr users strike again with blatant disregard for other people
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