#all bc of some guy from a state n a half over who Nobody else knew not being able to handle his liquor nor weed im

[toxooz]

been sick as a mf dawg but i managed to draw the ol Ollie n Kari halloween costumes for this year🤘

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Six. Movies and Speedruns

warnings: swearing, many memes word count: 3.8k (not including pictures) (wow okay ash pop off!) 

behind the screen (irl!dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: LETS ALL JUST AGREE TO NOT LOOK AT THE DATES ON TWEETS AND STUFF BC SOME CHAPTERS ARE SO SCUFFED WITH DATES!!!! JUST KNOW THIS STORY STARTS MID NOVEMBER!!!!!!!! (in a world where covid doesn’t exist btw)

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Unknowingly and unintentionally, Y/n let out a big sigh as she poured a glass of water.

"What's wrong, Y/n?" Naomi asked gently, coming up behind her and hugging her tightly.

"Peter."

Naomi hummed, a sign that she was waiting for Y/n to lead the conversation so she could follow because if it were up to Naomi, she would immediately start trash-talking Peter and she wasn't sure if that was the vibe right now or not.

Y/n shook her head in disbelief as she jumped up to sit on the counter. "He got so mad when he found out I slept over at Karl's."

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I wish you would just cut him off completely."

"I don't know. I know I should but... part of me wonders if he could ever go back to how he was when I met him. I would probably date that guy again but not who he turned out to be."

Naomi looked horrified. "No. You sound like you're considering hearing him out. No, is that a joke? He's a bad person."

"I'm not," Y/n reassured. "I'm just thinking hypothetically. Probably because I miss having someone..."

"Y/n, you have a ton of thirsty people in your mentions. If you really want someone that bad, just scroll through, land on one and I bet they're a million times better than that sack of burned potatoes."

Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled lightly. "Most of those are jokes."

"Not all of them," she teased.

"I know you're going to tell me anyway so just say it. Who specifically do you think isn't joking?"

"Dream," Naomi sang.

"Okay, crazy." Y/n reached over, staying seated on the counter as she grabbed a bowl from a cabinet on her left. She then leaned all the way right, reaching as far as she could, but couldn't quite grab a cereal box from the top of the refrigerator.

Naomi rolled her eyes as she helped, handing Y/n the box. She even went the extra step to get Y/n a spoon and the milk because she was that nice. "I'm not joking. Neither is he. Karl and I have talked about it and we both agree."

Y/n paused at her friend's words, her hand hovering over the milk that Naomi held out for her. "You guys gossip about my love life?"

Naomi set the milk next to Y/n, tired of holding it out for her. "Of course? Like we don't do that about Karl? Or you and him about me?"

She couldn't argue there.

"Karl says there's a different vibe from Dream when you join calls and I believe it. I mean, I've seen it during streams myself so I can only imagine how much more obviously in love with you he is during private calls.

"That 'vibe' is Karl's delusional mind creating things. He's too scared to talk to cameragirl so he's projecting onto Dream and I."

"Yeah, okay," Naomi agreed sarcastically.

Y/n huffed. "Besides, he's in Florida. I'm in North Carolina, in case you weren't aware."

"So you're saying if you lived in the same state, you'd date him?"

"I didn't say that." She honestly had never thought of it. Sure she liked hanging out with Dream and her stomach got butterflies when he talked directly to her and he made her smile harder than anyone ever had and he—

And she didn't like him like that. She had only officially met the guy like a week and a half ago and she didn't know what he looked like. There was no way you could catch feelings for someone without seeing them.

Naomi's expression fell again. "Distance doesn't matter, anyway."

"I swear if you say something about George I will slap you," she threatened through a smile and Naomi gave her an innocent grin back.

"If you're lonely, get on Tinder, not Peter. Or get on Dream. I have no qualms with that."

"Peter isn't even an option, Naomi." Y/n sighed, ignoring the comment about Dream.  "Also," she swallowed the last of her cereal and set the bowl down with a clank. "I'm gonna tell Peter I don't want to be friends anymore. Dream and George can be added to the list of Peter haters."

"You talked to them about it?"

She nodded. "You know how I have little gossip sessions with George? Well, Dream was there too this time."

"Well, of course Dream would hate Peter. We've established that he likes you."

"No, no, you and Karl delusionally hypothesized that."

Naomi tapped the counter methodically, a sign Y/n knew to signal that she was thinking hard. "Somehow, one day, I'll prove he does."

"Good luck."

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"Yes," Y/n perked up. "Go pick something, I'll get blankets."

She went to her room, grabbing her favorite cuddling blankets. She started leaving her room when she heard a ding on her open desktop, signaling that she had a call incoming from Discord. Cool timing.

"I'll be just a second, Naomi!" she called across the house before dropping the blankets on her bed and sliding her headset on, answering the call from Dream. "Hi, Dream!" She sat on her chair and tucked her knees to her chest.

"Hi," he greeted sweetly. "How are you doing today?"

"Much better than when we last talked. How are you?"

"Great now that I'm talking to you," he said smoothly. Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. "Are you busy?"

"Unfortunately, yes. My roommate and I are about to watch a movie."

"Ooh, what movie?"

"Not sure yet. Any suggestions?"

"Dark Knight. Unless you wanted me to say, like, Tangled or something."

"Yeah, girls' night is exclusively princess movies. Do you know nothing?"

"Apparently," he said with a laugh.

"What's up?"

"Oh, well, I was just gonna see if you wanted to be on call later with me, George, and Sapnap while I stream speedruns, but you're hanging out with your roommate so nevermind."

"Oh," Y/n deflated. "That sounds fun."

"I can push it back if you want to be part of it. If not, that's fine. I just thought it would be cool."

"No, no, no I really do want to, but I don't want you to have to push it back. When were you planning on starting?"

"In about an hour."

"I'll just join later if you're still playing. If that's okay that I come late."

"No. You have to be on time or not at all," he joked. "Of course that's fine," he assured. "And if I'm not playing anymore, you can still join... we usually talk for forever after we play games and it's fun. I would, er, we would love for you to hang out with us."

Y/n couldn't help the large smile on her face from staying even after they hung up and she walked back into the living room with her pile of blankets. She couldn't help it even when Naomi pointed it out and asked why she was so happy.

"Oh, uh, I've been invited to join Dream and them later for a stream."

"That vague answer doesn't warrant the shit-eating grin you have."

Y/n shrugged and cuddled more into her blankets. "What movie did you pick?"

*****

As the end credits rolled across the screen, Y/n yawned and looked over to Naomi in the dark. She was out like a light. Y/n stood up and made sure Naomi was covered in the blanket and she had a pillow. She crept back to her room and slid her headphones on, pulling up Discord where she saw the three boys' names still in a voice call.

She pulled up Twitch on her second monitor and looked for Dream's stream. It was already about an hour in. She clicked on it and her headphones echoed with the sound of George and Sapnap laughing like they said the funniest thing in the world.

"Shut up," Dream muttered. "Guys, what were the coords for the portal? Seriously, come on."

"Nobody tell him," George joked.

"George!"

"Where's Bugsyyyy?" Sapnap whined. "I want her to make fun of you with us."

"Half the stuff we're making fun of him for is about his big fat crush on her so..."

"George!" Dream yelled again. "No, it's not!"

Y/n smiled as she heard that, knowing it was a joke but laughing at the way Dream laughed at the accusation. She knew it wasn't serious or else they wouldn't talk about it on stream. George and Sapnap teased a lot, but certainly, they wouldn't out someone's crush in front of a hundred thousand viewers live.

"Oh!" Sapnap spoke out loud as George laughed loudly, both reading the text at the same time. "Speaking of..."

Dream waited for either of the two boys to elaborate but neither of them offered one. "What happened?"

"Bugsy texted us," George said off-handedly, typing a response to her. "She's coming in a second."

"Oh."

"What do you mean 'oh'?" Sapnap laughed.

"You guys have a groupchat?"

"Aw, jealous?" George asked.

Y/n joined at that moment, the first sentence coming from her Discord instead of Twitch being from Sapnap saying, "Would it make you more jealous to know our group name is Bugsy's Boys?"

"No, Sapnap, that's the one with Karl," George corrected. "The one with just you, me, and her is Bugsy's Boyfriends."

"WhAT?"

"I still don't approve of that, by the way," Y/n commented.

"Bugsy!!" Sapnap giggled happily. "You're finally here!"

"BUGSY!" George cheered.

"Hi guys!" Y/n laughed at the enthusiasm she was greeted with. "Hi, Dream!"

There was a few seconds of silence before, "Dream!!" George yelled right before the death screen appeared on the Twitch tab still opened on Y/n's right screen. "You idiot, what are you doing?! Why did you throw that run??"

She covered her mouth with the hoodie collar and laughed. "Off to a great start, bud."

"NO!" Dream yelled, knocking something, or somethings, off his desk. "Noooo! I didn't throw it, George, I FELL! Oh, that was going to be such a good run."

"What happened? How did you miss that huge ravine?" George asked while laughing. "It was literally right in the open. You didn't even try to use your water bucket."

"I-I was... I was distracted."

"By what? The completely open field with nothing blocking your vision?" Sapnap criticized with a laugh as well.

Y/n giggled to herself before letting her eyes trail to his chat, which was filled with the same accusations and guesses.

user5: BUGSY!

user2: DISTRACTED BY BUGSYS VOICE

user4: imagine saying hi so cutely that you make a man fall into a ravine

user1: are they dumb? obviously bugsy saying hi made his brain short-circut

user6: guys stop it wasn't bc she said hi. it was the g i g g l e

user3: DISTRACTED BY BUGSY!!!!

user8: HI BUGSY

user10: how to kill a man: hire bugsy to giggle and say hi directly to him

Y/n immediately blushed and covered her face again. She really had a habit of hiding even when no one could see her.

"Oh my gosh," Dream groaned, leaving the world and starting a new one. "Oh. My. Gosh. That's so annoying. I was doing so good."

"Oh," Sapnap laughed. "I understand now."

"What? What did I miss?" George asked.

"Just read chat," Sapnap explained. "They have the answer. Dream, your chat is so smart. Thanks for solving the mystery, chat!"

"No, they aren't ri— that isn't true!" Dream defended. "Chat, shut up."

"You sure?" Y/n asked teasingly, watching as his character paused when she started talking. Was she really making him this flustered just by talking? Surely not. He was just playing into the joke. He continued playing without saying anything, which made George and Sapnap laugh more.

The subject eventually changed and the atmosphere quickly became more relaxed and chill. Tonight was not a feral night like George had texted in all caps.

"Hey George," Y/n started, biting on her hoodie string with a smile because she knew Naomi would hear this when she watched the VOD the next day. "My roommate says hello."

"Oh my gosh," he muttered, making her laugh. "Let it go."

"Wow, I guess that's one way to treat your fans..."

"Fine," he sighed. "Tell her I say hello."

"Well, not if you don't mean it," Y/n teased.

"Yeah, George, you sound so unenthusiastic?" Sapnap asked.

"He's just flustered," Dream commented. "It's okay George, you can have feelings."

"Dream, you fell into a ravine because Bugsy said hi."

"Oh, come on! That's not—I just— I missed the jump! That's it!"

"I'm not flustered or unenthusiastic, I'm just tired, okay?" George explained, ignoring Dream, a yawn spilling out of him to prove it.

Y/n smiled. "Well, you could always let me give her your number if you really want..."

"No. If she had Discord you could give her that but not my phone number."

"Wait, really?" Y/n gasped. "Seriously?"

George laughed lightly. "Yeah, sure, why not?"

"YES! Okay, a huge win for the girls. Well, a huge loss for the fangirls but a huge win for the girls of this apartment."

"Oh my gosh," he muttered and she could practically see him rubbing his face in embarrassment.

"I'll send you her hashtag when she makes one so you know who to add back."

"She's going to make an account just to talk to George?" Sapnap giggled.

"Yes, dude!" Y/n defended. "She at least wants to be his friend, let her shoot her shot!"

Dream ended the steam soon after, not being able to focus enough to beat the end on any of his runs. He had streamed for just under two hours so he seemed to be getting tired as well. George went to bed soon after and after 20 minutes of talking with Sapnap and Dream, Sapnap mysteriously disappeared.

Y/n was about to leave as well, not wanting Dream to feel obligated to stay on the call with her when he spoke up.

"Does Naomi actually like George?"

"Yeah, she does."

"Then I want him to accept her love."

Y/n laughed. "How is he with long-distance relationships?"

"Well, he and I do just fine..." Dream joked. "Oh, not what you meant. I don't know, you guys are the ones that talk about each other's love lives apparently."

"You're still bitter about that?"

"Yes!"

"Suck it up," she laughed. "Naomi would do probably anything to date him so I doubt distance is a problem for her."

"George's sleep schedule is completely messed up, so the time difference wouldn't matter too much. And when he comes to America they can meet in person."

"Wait, he's coming to America?" Y/n gasped happily. "When?"

"There's no set date, but yeah eventually. He'll probably just come to Florida but we've all talked about having a huge meetup with a lot of our friends."

"Oh... cool..."

"Bug? You know you'd be invited to that, right?"

"Oh, really?" she smiled.

"Of course. You're part of the group now."

"Sick," she muttered to herself, but he heard.

"Bug, you're one of my favorite people, do you know that?"

She blushed. "Really?"

"Really."

"You barely know me, Dream."

"Yeah, well, I know enough to know that I'm sorta attached to you."

"Attached to me? In what way?"

He suddenly sounded nervous as if his brain caught up with what his mouth was saying. "I don't know, nevermind."

"No, Dream, what do you mean?" her voice was soft and understanding and it made him feel safe.

"I just... I don't know. I care about you a lot. We met only, what, like a week or two ago, and I already worry about you a lot. Playing games doesn't feel the same anymore unless you're playing with us."

"To be fair, we have been tweeting at each other for much longer than a week or two."

"Yeah, that's true. But it's not the same as actually talking to you."

She smiled shyly. "I care about you a lot too, Clay." His name sounded strange as if it suddenly made everything much more serious. "Sorry, that just kinda slipped. I won't call you Clay if you don't want me to—"

"No, it's okay, it, uh, I like hearing you... say it. But, uh, you can call me whatever you want."

She smiled widely at the nervousness in his voice and the hard pounding of her heart. "I've heard from multiple people that you never stop talking about me."

He laughed timidly. "Maybe. Do you talk about me?"

"Ask Karl," she giggled. "My guess is yes." Her stomach felt tingly and her hands shook lightly. Why did she feel like this all of a sudden? It was late, she reasoned. That, or it was because Naomi had planted the seed of curiosity in her mind. Did Dream like her? No... right?

"I'm sorry if my chat was making you uncomfortable at the beginning when I died..."

"Don't worry, I wasn't uncomfortable."

"It was true, by the way," he paused, "what they were saying. Just... in case you were wondering."

Y/n couldn't wipe the smile off her face, which was growing painful at this point. "What, my voice makes your brain short-circut? That was one comment I saw."

Dream laughed. "More like your entire presence, but... yeah I guess so."

How is someone supposed to respond to something like that? The sweetness in his voice almost made her sick but in a good way.

And just like when he named her Minecraft flower something sweet knowing that no one would see it, why was he still playing up the joke when no one was around?

Not knowing what to say, she decided to let him in on a little secret. "If it matters, you're one of my favorite people too."

"It does."

There was a deathly moment of tense silence as if both of them were screaming to say something but neither did.

"Basically, if we do have a meet-up, I'll sue you if you don't come."

Y/n laughed. "My pockets are empty, sir, so... good luck."

He laughed and it was music to her ears.

"Are you not nervous to show everyone your face? Like, if or when we do all get together."

"Not really. Especially not if it's just to our friends. Are you?"

"Yeah," she admitted.

"Why?"

She sighed. "I'm sure people have me painted in a specific way in their heads and I've seen fanart of me that is way different and way more attractive than I am. I just don't want to let anyone down by not living up to their expectations."

"Bug," Dream said softly, "you couldn't let anyone down."

"You don't know that."

"You can't disappoint real friends or real fans with the way you look."

"To be clear, Dream," she laughed nervously, afraid she would sound conceited, "I don't think I'm ugly. I like the way I look. I'm happy with me. But that doesn't mean I can't still let people down."

"Different than expected doesn't mean disappointing."

His words smacked her in the gut. He was right. Reality and imagination are very different. Neither has to be better or worse than the other. She could look the complete opposite of how someone expects but that doesn't mean they will be either disappointed OR pleased. And why does it matter anyway? If she likes how she looks, who cares what other people think?

"It's also scary to think of getting recognized in public," she admitted. "Being recognized from the start is one thing because it starts off slowly with only a few people knowing your face but if the first time people see your face is when you have millions of fans, the recognition would be overwhelming."

"That's true. I don't think I would mind that much, though."

"Of course not, you're you."

"What does that mean?"

"You like the spotlight."

"I guess. Not all the time."

"Well, what about you?" she asked. "Are you afraid of people knowing what you look like?"

"No. I want to do a face reveal soon but I don't know how I would do it. I want to do it at some kind of event or something but I don't know."

"I need to schedule around when you do it because you'll break the internet. Give us content creators a warning so we can prepare to not get viewers for a week."

Dream laughed. "Oh come on."

"Twitter would just be full of the same picture of you in every single tweet."

"It won't be that big of a deal."

"Something tells me your millions and millions of subs say otherwise."

"Whatever," he said. "As if you wouldn't break the internet too."

"Maybe for a day or two. But you'd break everything for weeks."

"Sure." There was a long pause before Dream softly said, "Karl's lucky."

"How so?"

He didn't speak for a moment, almost like he wasn't prepared for that question because he didn't mean to be heard. "I wish I could know you the way he does."

"You could. He and I knew each other in person first so it's different. You and I could get there eventually."

"You think so?"

"I know so. I trust you a scary amount for someone I met weeks ago."

"I didn't mean to sound like I'm trying to pressure you into showing me your face or telling me your name. I didn't mean like he gets to know what you look like and I don't. I meant, like, I wish we could hang out in person because I prefer that over talking in Discord."

"I get it, Clay. I feel the same way," Y/n said softly. There were a few moments of silence before she spoke again.

"Oh, gosh, it's already four."

Y/n's head snapped to look at her clock, which read 3:57am. "Already?" she whispered. "Dang."

As if acknowledging the time changed the atmosphere, it suddenly felt like 4am. Her back ached from her shifting in her chair so much over the last few hours, never being able to find a good position. The house was eerily quiet and all she heard was the low hum of the heater. The house felt stale, not used to its occupants being so alert and awake at that hour.

"I should probably go to bed..."

"Yeah, me too," Dream agreed. His voice sounded tired. "Thanks for joining us, it was really fun with you."

"Thanks for inviting me. Sorry I made you die. Hopefully you'll still let me back again."

"You're always invited to barge into my streams. Actually."

Y/n giggled again and mentally slapped herself for sounding like a little kid. "Well, you too. You can interrupt my streams anytime."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Goodnight, Clay."

"Goodnight, Bug."

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[ushittyoldman]

nobody’s fault but mine (pt. 2)

Levi wouldn’t really be Levi if he knew how to handle his intense feelings for you.

pairing. levi x fem!reader AND a little bit of jean x fem!reader (b/c once again i am a slut 4 jean too)

warnings. some fluff, language (b prepared for a lot of the f-bomb)

a/n. hi sorry 4 the long wait, life is a little hectic rn (it’s snowing n our power has been going out on n off for the past few days lmfao also school b lowkey kicking my ass) BUT i wanted 2 say thank u so so much 4 all ur feedback to part 1 it was so so so unexpected n sweet n flattering i literally still can’t wrap my head around it. i would rly appreciate some feedback 2 this one too since this is A LOT more levi n i actually adored writing him but i would luv 2 know what u guys think of my characterization of him (im a little nervy) but yes feedback is encouraged! this is kinda long but a lot happens so i rly hope u guys appreciate this n enjoy it bc it took me so long 2 write n rewrite it heheheh (side note 4 the sake of age n everything, all the 104th cadets r actually 18+ including our cute lil reader) also! pls continue 2 request more levi ok that’s it 4 now enjoy!

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.”

“Jean!”

The hushed voices stirred you out of the pleasant state of unconsciousness you had been in. A sharp pain shot through your head as you slowly opened your eyes, blinking quickly to adjust to the bright light. You flexed your fingers subtly as an attempt to gain awareness of yourself and your surroundings. Once you were comfortable, you slowly turned your head to your right and saw a scene you had grown painfully familiar with– Jean arguing with someone. The victim of the week was Armin, and you almost wanted to laugh at the quick back-and-forth between the two.

“Your bedside manner… sucks,” you managed to mumble. You cringed at the uncharacteristic hoarseness of your voice.

“There she is!” Jean exclaimed, shooting a victorious smirk at Armin, before fondly looking down at you, as he moved closer to your side.

You heard multiple gasps of your name, and you quickly turned your head to your left, before regretting it due to the sharp pang that followed in your head. Nevertheless, you mustered up as bright a smile as you could, looking at your friends who had all taken various positions throughout the room. Eren was the first to your bed, embracing you tightly.

“That was scary,” he softly mumbled your name, before pulling back, “Don’t do that again.”

The concern on his face startled you momentarily, and you couldn’t help but avert your eyes. You blinked quickly before looking up and shyly smiling at Eren.

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

You then looked up at your fellow cadets, who stood surrounding your small bed in the infirmary. Your love for these people sat heavily in your chest, and you beamed up at them, before you realized you were in the infirmary.

“What happened?” you genuinely asked, your husky voice taking you by surprise again.

“Oh, I’ll tell you what happened!” Jean scowled, crossing his arms in anger, “That little bastard—”

“Jean, you can’t say that about the Captain!” Sasha chided, looking sideways in fear as if to emphasize her point.

“Captain, my ass!”

You attempted to stifle your giggling, yet your mood significantly dropped upon remembering Levi’s treatment towards you this past month. You tried to conceal your obviously bothered expression, but you felt a hand softly ruffle your hair. You looked up and smiled at Reiner.

“Don’t sweat it, kiddo, I’m sure he’ll tone down the punishments after this,” he reassured, obviously mistaking your dejection over your unreciprocated feelings for Levi for something else.

Appreciating the gesture, you continued to smile up at him while nodding softly. Reiner had a comforting presence, and you felt your mood brighten slightly.

“Fingers crossed,” you deadpanned, earning a soft laugh from Bertholdt, who had taken a seat at the foot of your bed.

Jean’s relentless bashing of the Captain continued, as Sasha, Connie, and Armin attempted to calm him down, warning him about the consequences they’d all have to face if word got back to Levi. Eren gritted his teeth in irritation, as he glared up at Jean, threatening to “knock him out if he didn’t shut up,” while Mikasa had silently moved around the chaos to rest her calloused hand on your own, silently squeezing as a gesture of comfort. You squeezed back.

“Look, all I’m saying is he obviously has it out for her. She’s a better soldier than all of us– even you, titan boy— and it’s still not good enough? I call bullshit!”

“I think he’s just trying to be a good teacher, I’m sure there’s a lot I can still improve on,” you justified, and all eyes turned to you.

“There’s not,” Mikasa bluntly stated, leaving no room for argument.

Your friends all agreed, and you scrunched your nose playfully to conceal the warmth that had spread throughout your body at their praise. You worked hard to get where you were– there was a satisfaction in knowing that all of your effort wasn’t going unacknowledged.

“Jean-boy’s right—”

“Bastard!”

“—Captain Levi has been unnecessarily cruel to her, and we’ve all noticed it!” Eren’s fists clenched in anger as he ignored Jean’s yelling.

“But the Captain isn’t the type to hold grudges or act impulsively, so I think there’s something deeper to it,” Armin reasoned, apologetically glancing at you in case his words offended you.

You nodded softly, not wanting to worsen your headache; however, it didn’t really matter when Jean’s painfully loud voice retaliated almost immediately.

“He overworked her to the point of her passing out from exhaustion and severe dehydration!” His eyebrows furrowed in anger, and his sandy brown hair bounced with his every move.

You winced from the pain in your head, and the movement didn’t go unnoticed by Reiner, who glanced at you from where he stood.

“Jean— inside voice, yeah?” Reiner softly spoke, subtly tilting his head down towards you. Jean’s gaze softened and concern replaced the anger on his contorted features, as he apologized to you.

“Yeah, seriously, what are you getting so worked up for?” Connie innocently asked, before a knowing look crossed his features. He turned to his partner-in-crime, and the two donned shit-eating grins as they turned back to Jean.

“Right, that’s why.”

Bertholdt, whose lanky body had been horizontally lying across the bed comfortably, sat up onto his elbows and cluelessly asked, “What’s why?”

Sasha’s smile widened, and she crossed her arms, mimicking Connie’s knowing smirk. “It’s because Jean-boy, here, is sweet on our dear little—”

“Would you shut up!” Jean yelled louder than before, fists shaking in anger. His face was flushed an impossible shade of red, and you would’ve joined in on the laughter, had your head not exploded from the pain.

You were fully aware of the incessant teasing Jean received regarding his relationship with you, and you would honestly be lying if you said you didn’t get a kick out of it as well. Deciding to spare your friend today, you sent a good-natured smile to him, hoping that would be enough to quell his frustration.

Had you not turned to converse with Eren, you wouldn’t have missed Jean’s dazed smile.

While talking to Eren, your mind briefly drifted to Levi and the situation that was weighing heavily on you. You didn’t want to believe that the Captain hated you– you desperately grasped onto your excuse that he was simply a harsh teacher. And yet, you knew there was something more to it.

In a panic-driven moment, you momentarily wondered if he had somehow found out about your feelings for him. You remembered him telling you about his upbringing— you knew better than most that Levi and confessions of love did not go together... at all. Before you could further dig yourself deeper into the pitiful hole you had been in the past month, a painfully familiar voice broke through your intrusive thoughts.

“You know how loud you are? This isn’t a damn daycare.”

“Sir!”

All conversation in the room came to an abrupt halt. You couldn’t help but grow amused at the sight of Eren and Bertholdt scrambling off your bed to stand and salute their superior. Your small smile was wiped off your face when your eyes met stormy grey ones. You quickly looked down, before inhaling quickly and swiftly pulling your bedsheets back. You attempted to muster as much strength as you could, ignoring the multiple eyes on you. You gracefully stood up from the bed, and turned to Levi, managing the salute as well. You slowly looked up at him.

“Sir,” you shakily mumbled, internally cringing once again at the uncharacteristic rasp to your voice.

You received proud looks of admiration from your friends, though Jean’s remained more concerned than proud. Idiot! he thought to himself. We know you’re strong, now’s not the time to prove it!

Levi, meanwhile, had tried his very best to suppress the guilt that had been eating away at him for the past day; however, it had only worsened when he saw you and heard your weak voice. Upon making eye contact with you, he almost wanted to fall to his knees and apologize profusely for everything he had put you through, audience be damned. 

Levi had spent the better half of the day pacing around your room in the infirmary wing of the Scout Regiment’s base, lost deeply in his thoughts, as his concern for you weighed heavily in his heart. After a few more hours of pacing, he had finally come to the conclusion that he was an idiot (a grade A, unique brand of idiot all in a league of his very own), and that he was in love with you.

Where the first realization annoyed him to high heaven, the second one brought him a sense of peace that was only heightened every time he had looked at your unconscious form.

Levi, uncomfortable with the amount of self-actualizing he had done that day, had left the room after softly caressing your cheek, hoping to convey all of his guilt and apologies and love into the simple gesture. Once he was away from the infirmary wing of the base, he inhaled deeply, itching for the comfort of a cup of warm tea. On his way to the mess hall, he had passed by your friends from the 104th, all undoubtedly on their way to see you. Levi’s eyebrow had slightly risen upon noticing the varying looks of defiance and anger on each of their faces. He had remained unfazed, his half-lidded eyes looking away, as if he hadn’t even seen them at all.

Somehow, it was harder to face them now with you standing amongst them. 

His face retained its usual impassive and bored expression, yet it momentarily faltered when he noticed you slightly stumble from where you were standing next to the hospital bed. Levi’s heartbeat quickened, and he made a subtle move to rush over to you to catch you for the second time that day, but Jean was quicker. The taller man had been keeping a watchful eye on you, and had quickly dropped his salute to stand behind you and steady your slightly uncoordinated form. You comfortably relaxed backwards into his arms as you sent a grateful smile up at him, and he softly smiled back in response, leading you back to the bed.

Levi was both relieved and a little fucking pissed off.

“Visiting hours are over— I need to talk to the brat,” he lazily said, authority ringing loudly and clearly in his command.

For the first time in all his years of captaining the scouts, there was a quick hesitation after his command.

Levi raised an unamused eyebrow at each of the cadets, silently challenging them to disobey him. Despite his threatening aura, he wouldn’t blame any of your friends if they were to defy Levi. The Captain deserved it for his treatment of you— he’d take it like a man.

Your eyes widened in surprise when your friends subtly glanced at you, silently asking if it was okay to leave you alone with him. Upon hearing Levi’s request to talk to you, your heart had begun to uncontrollably race and you swore you could feel it in your throat. You were disappointed in yourself for growing excited at finally being able to talk to him. 

Blinking quickly, your cheeks grew hot under everyone’s gazes, so you reassuringly smiled at your eight friends, and you once again felt the genuine love you had for them erupt within your heart. 

Ever the peacemaker of the group, Armin signaled for the rest to follow him out of the room, and they each uncertainly walked behind him. Mikasa squeezed your hand once more before following closely behind Eren, who sent you an encouraging smile. Bertholdt subtly sent a thumbs up to you, while Reiner winked at you as he looked over his broad shoulder. Your smile widened; however, it faltered when your eyes met Jean’s. His irritated expression worried you, yet before you could respond, he turned away and walked past Levi.

Levi had to give it to Jean— not many people had the balls to openly glare at the Captain.

Once everyone was gone, the tension within the room increased tenfold. You looked at Levi, and you bit your lip in contemplation, anticipating what he would say. Many thoughts rang through your head.

Was it another punishment? Was he going to yell at me? Did he find out about my fee–

“How do you feel?”

You almost had to pinch yourself. After one month of barely any interactions with your friend— if you were still even allowed to call him that— you realized how starved you were for pleasant conversation with Levi.

“I’ve been better,” you breathed out, still cautious. “How… how do you feel?”

Even after such an unpleasant experience, your unwavering kindness shone just as brightly. Levi’s heart ached so sweetly, and he internally groaned upon realizing how fucking whipped he was.

He silently stepped forward, pulling a seat to the side of your bed. Once he was seated, Levi looked into your eyes, and you felt your breath hitch at the intensity of the swirl of emotions dancing within his normally cold eyes. He exhaled softly.

You noticed how tired he looked.

“Just peachy.”

There was a pregnant pause, and you came to realize that there was just too much you wanted to say to him, and you didn’t know where to start. Your soft eyes held his sharp gaze.

“You scared the shit out of me, brat.”

Your heart involuntarily skipped a beat, and your eyes widened in response.

“I did?” you internally slapped yourself at your stupid response.

“Yeah. You did.”

“Sorry, sir,” you softly mumbled.

“Levi… just Levi.”

The Levi in front of you was a completely different man from the one who you’ve had the pleasure of interacting with over the past month. You thought back to your friends and their anger at your mistreatment, and you thought of the many unfair punishments, cold shoulder treatments, and overworking during training (despite you being second only to Humanity’s Strongest, himself). Slowly, your incredulity at being treated like a lapdog began to dim and was replaced by your growing indignation. Though you were no stranger to standing up for yourself, you still felt your anxiety skyrocket as you looked back up at your superior.

“Do you hate me, Captain? Did I… did I do something?”

And there it was.

Levi knew the question would come up at some point, and yet he still felt ill-prepared in his response. He knew this was a big step for you— in the whole year that he’s gotten to know you, he learned how much you hated confrontation. You blatantly ignoring his request and choosing to address him by his title caught his attention, and he frowned. When he looked into your slightly watery eyes, a warmth spread throughout his chest, and he had to clear his throat.

“Don’t say shit like that, you haven’t done anything.”

Levi wanted to punch himself— he was never good with words.

You, however, weren’t fazed by the manner in which he spoke. You had fallen for the man, harsh words and all.

“Then why have you—” you paused as you momentarily lost your voice.

Levi thought it was cute (to be fair, he found everything about you endearing), yet he knew it would be inappropriate to openly admire you when you were so clearly upset with him.

“Sorry,” you grew embarrassed and licked your lips, “It’s just… well, why have you been ignoring me? And— and yelling at me? We stopped drinking tea together, and practicing in the forests. You don’t even acknowledge me when I talk to you! I’m sure you have a really good reason, sir, but I just—”

Levi detested the sick feeling of guilt that churned within his heart. In hindsight, he really should’ve thought it through before he began his little plan of distancing himself from you. How else was he supposed to tell you oh, everyone in the fucking Scout Regiment wants you, and so do I, but I haven’t done anything about it because I’m a pussy, so I just decided to take it out on you and wallow in my own self-pity like the sad little man I am, without sounding like he was deranged.

“—I just miss you.”

Levi’s eyes widened a fraction of an inch, and his breath hitched. This time it was the sincerity in your eyes that made him look away quickly.

“I…”

I’ve missed you too, dammit.

At his lack of a response, your eyebrows furrowed, and your irritation grew. Your small hands balled the soft bedsheet, and you swallowed to soften the burn in your throat before speaking.

“Why did you even come here?” you scoffed indignantly, attempting to mask your hurt, “Was it to just to yell at me some more? Oh, I know! Maybe I need to run through training ten more times again, right?”

The guilt churned even more in his chest, and Levi seriously wanted to punch himself. He willed himself to say something— anything— but he felt speechless in front of you.

“Levi,” you hoarsely spoke with desperation, and he looked into your watery eyes. “Say something, please.”

It was as if you had read his mind, and a slight feeling of reassurance quelled the storm in his heart; you really were the only one for him. As he met your eyes— your beautiful, enchanting eyes— he felt his self-hatred skyrocket at the amount of hurt in them. He had grown used to seeing them filled with humor, kindness, and a soft edge that was rare to find nowadays. Yet seeing them filled with such pain and hurt was unsettling, and Levi went mute for the fifth time that day.

You nodded in understanding when he failed to say anything, and your heart clenched. Jean had been right— you were nothing more than a lovesick puppy. You blinked quickly as a poor attempt to conceal your tears, yet nothing ever escaped the Captain’s attention.

His gaze softened, and Levi found out something else about himself— he really didn’t like seeing you cry.

“Shit, please don’t cry,” he tenderly mumbled, as he leaned closer to you and gently cupped your face to wipe away your tears with the pads of his thumb. 

Your breath hitched and your full lips involuntarily parted. You relished in the warmth of his touch, and you wanted nothing more than to lean into his comforting hand. Your name fell from his lips, and you felt yourself come back to reality. Remembering just how you had gotten into this situation, you decided to stand your ground. Despite everything in your body begging to give in and accept this moment with the Captain, you stood unwavering in your decision.

You gently grabbed his large hand with both your hands, and moved it away from your face and into your lap. You held it there loosely and delicately rubbed your fingers over his hand soothingly before eventually stopping, and looking back up at him.

His usual bored expression was long gone, and in its place was a very tender and vulnerable expression. A storm was brewing in his grey eyes, and you distantly remembered stargazing once with him. You had desperately wished you could read his thoughts— somehow, you had found his daunting eyes more fascinating than the starry sky. You felt an ache in your heart at the intimate memories, and you really really wished Levi loved you the way you love him.

“You know what, Levi? It doesn’t even matter if you hate me, because—” you inhaled sharply. 

This has to be done, you reassured yourself, or else you’d be subjecting yourself to an onslaught of hurt and heartbreak. 

“—Because I hate you.”

Your lip quivered and your broken voice faltered. And of course, Levi noticed.

His eyes darted down to your lips at the slight movement. His hands had stilled, and he decided that getting eaten by a damn titan would be much less painful than this.

And then he’s looking at you. You looked back at him, yet he’s looking at you— through you— in that way that makes you want to hide and hold your ground at the same time.

“Right,” Levi drawled, and you knew he didn’t believe you (hell, you were unconvinced yourself). His eyes reverted back to their cold nature, and he ran a hand through his hair, allowing the silky strands to softly land against his forehead.

He stood up, and wordlessly gave you a onceover. Under his scrutiny, you felt yourself grow insecure, but deep down you desperately hoped he’d stay. You bit your bottom lip in apprehension, and Levi’s eyes softened at the sight of your nervous habit.

How is it that he could kill titans all the livelong day yet when it came to this sweet girl, so small and disarming, he couldn’t even utter a single word?

Levi had never felt more pathetic. He peered down at you, momentarily debating whether it would be right for him to attempt one last thing before finally deciding fuck it, and gently cupping your cheek for the third time that day, bending down, and pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. He gingerly inhaled your enticing scent, appreciating how even after the hell he had put you through, you still smelled so alluring.

You were positive that Levi could hear your heartbeat. You blinked many times in disbelief, as he pulled away and sent one last lingering gaze down at you. 

Levi slightly smirked at the pretty blush that had colored your cheeks, his half-lidded eyes drinking in the mesmerizing sight of you sitting up in your bed and gaping up at him, your cheeks flushed and wet with the remnants of your tears. He turned around and silently left the room. 

He had ignored every part of his body that begged him to stay.

▲▼▲

“Shut up, I can barely hear them!”

“Ow— Bertholdt, you’re stepping on my foot!”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Watch it, horse face!”

“Eren.”

“You piece of shit, I’m—”

The piece of bread that had been tightly held in Sasha’s grip suddenly fell to the floor. Everyone went silent.

“Holy shit, I think… I think he just kissed her.”

Jean really hoped Sasha was wrong. 

He decided to ignore the fact that her freakishly good hearing bordered on supernatural, so there was really no way she could’ve been wrong with a mere wooden door standing between her and the conversation.

“I knew there was something going on between them! Reiner— pay up.”

Reiner muttered several curses under his breath as he pulled out a hefty stack of cash from his pocket. Connie’s grin widened.

Armin had glanced up at Jean, slightly alarmed at the dark expression on his face. Before he could comfort his friend, the door suddenly opened. Everyone scrambled to straighten themselves up, attempting to act like they hadn’t been just eavesdropping on the entire conversation between you and the Captain.

A chorus of sir’s rang throughout the large hallway, and Levi grew amused at the sight before him. His lips twitched upwards, and the cadets had to almost physically stop their mouths from dropping open at the sight. Levi’s ghost of a smile disappeared when his eyes met Jean’s seething ones.

The two held each other’s gazes, Levi’s expression being cool, while Jean’s had been irritated. Levi was not a fucking idiot; he knew the kid was in love with you.

Join the fucking club.

Levi, realizing that this was the exact reason he had gotten himself into that mess with you and not really wanting to sour his somewhat good mood, looked away from Jean to nod at the group of your friends.

“As you were.”

He brushed past Jean, his gaze as intimidating as ever, as he silently walked down the hallway. Jean’s fists clenched tightly. Once Levi had turned the corner, the group exploded into chatter, their reactions varying from stunned to adoring.

Jean really really fucking hoped Sasha was wrong.

▲▼▲

Your horse trotted proudly through the vast landscape, the wind blew through your open hair, your friends teased each other amicably, and your excitement grew at finally being cleared to join the scouts on their next expedition. Though you hadn’t been getting much sleep lately, and you’ve been a little too preoccupied to eat much, nothing could bring your mood down at this moment.

You were alongside your friends as you all followed the section commanders as their horses galloped into the edge of the forest. The mission for today was to exterminate any titans who had wandered too close to the walls. A simple mission, and you were more than capable.

You had been in a great mood.

Until your eyes landed on Levi.

He had been further up, leading his own squad. He had turned around to respond to Gunther, and that’s when his eyes had met yours. Your internal conflict grew, and you ultimately ended up averting your eyes and ignoring him, deciding to maintain your cold treatment towards him. 

Him kissing your head had only further confused you, despite the sweet butterflies you felt every time you thought back to it. Levi’s treatment towards you had unexpectedly changed since that day in the infirmary, and it had reverted to the way it was before his sudden aversion to you, though there was something much sweeter in his actions. You swore you were getting whiplash.

Though he had been significantly kinder to you, you had held your ground, unrelenting in your declaration. Part of you was terrified that if you gave in and became comfortable, he’d suddenly return back to the yelling, the punishments, and the overworking. Part of you also didn’t want to face reality— your feelings were unreciprocated, and they would only serve to bring you a world of heartache and sadness.

Your cold shoulder towards him was nothing compared to the way he had treated you. Yours mainly consisted of avoiding him, and when that wasn’t an option and you had to interact with him, you kept it civil and short. Your heart would ache, but you knew it was for the best. It helped that Jean would offer approving smiles and words of encouragement, even going as far as to smirk when you had ignored the Captain.

Levi, meanwhile, had frowned when he noticed that you ignored him. Again.

In all honesty, he did deserve it, but that didn’t mean it still didn’t hurt like a bitch. He grew irked at your display. Levi hoped you would understand that him kissing your head and showing affection towards you was his grand confession of love. You knew he was shit with words, and he hoped that that would be enough.

He was sadly fucking mistaken.

His attention had been on you the whole mission. Even when the scouts had to dismount from the horses to use the ODM gear through the trees, he had somehow managed to keep a watchful eye on you. You were graceful as ever as you flew through the trees, though his observing gaze noticed that your reaction time was noticeably slower than normal. He had also noticed the dark circles under your usually bright eyes, and he grew worried upon noticing your overall state.

Levi, himself, wasn’t faring much better. He was getting virtually no sleep, running completely on caffeine, adrenaline, and pure will, yet he still made sure he was in excellent shape when it came to these missions— humanity was resting on his shoulders, after all.

The firing of a flare gun in the distance indicated that the group would be encountering titans— a lot of titans— from the left. The soldiers prepared, all eyes focused on the left. You had conveniently taken up the right-most end of the formation, and your attention had also been on the left, your blades held tightly in your hands.

It was only by chance that Levi decided to glance down at you as he soared above you in the middle of the formation. Your eyes met once again, and Levi’s heart lurched at the beautiful sight, when movement behind you immediately caught his attention. A large abnormal with the ability to jump from tree to tree had suddenly appeared and made an attempt to grab you. Your attention had been solely on Levi, so you hadn’t noticed, especially over the roar of the wind in your ears.

Levi’s eyes widened, and he yelled out your name. The rich baritone of his deep voice reached your ears, and you turned slightly behind you, yet you reacted too slowly. Your body jerked backwards, flying so far from the group. You flew through the air at such a great speed that it took you by surprise when you slammed against a tree as the wires of your ODM gear grew tangled. The abnormal had missed you— barely. Your head slammed against the tree and you felt the wind knocked out of your body at the impact.

You whimpered at the hell of a hospital stay you’d have to face after this.

The abnormal almost seemed to be grinning wider upon realizing that it had successfully subdued you. You attempted to quickly stand up, though your body yelled in agony at the movement. Willing yourself to fight back, you shakily stood up, tightly gripping your blades that had miraculously not fallen to the ground throughout the struggle. You winced at the searing pain that shot through your head, yet you clenched your teeth in determination. Realizing that your gear was broken and therefore useless, you quickly discarded yourself of it, and felt some of the tension in your body alleviate now that you were significantly lighter.

“The hell is she doing?” Jean yelled incredulously from his spot next to Levi, and the other members of the group looked on in shock as they all attempted to make it to you in time.

“She’s fighting back,” Levi spoke through gritted teeth, his worry for you eating him alive. His eyebrows were furrowed in stress and anxiety, and he was now soaring impossibly fast through the trees in order to reach you.

Stupid brat. Stupid, resilient, little brat.

“Attagirl!” Oluo and Eld cheered, and Petra shoved them, warning them to stop their blatant ogling in the middle of a dangerous mission. They skillfully dodged her attack, grinning at their adept use of the ODM gear.

A noise towards the side caught their attention, and the group realized the titans they had been anticipating were now in sight. Levi coolly assessed the shitty situation, before commanding that most of the soldiers take care of the titans, while Levi, his squad, and some of the 104th’s cadets would assist you. The group split up, and Levi turned his attention back to you, his heart thumping against his chest.

As the titan made a move to grab you, you exhaled quickly to focus before skillfully jumping onto its elongated arm and running quickly towards its nape. You were defying gravity as you gained speed the higher you went. The titan wasn’t stupid, and it began to grab you with its other arm, yet you anticipated its move. You lithely dodged it, executing a quick front flip as you narrowly escaped its grasp once again.

This was it!

You saw your opening. You leaped forward and pushed your feet against its shoulder as hard as you could, soaring high up in the air above the titan. Muscle memory served you well, and you thought back to the training circuit that had mimicked a situation almost exactly like this one. You gracefully began to spin yourself faster and faster, your cape billowing behind you as you finally readied your blades for the final blow. You yelled out, as your head pain worsened. As a result, your maneuver faltered slightly, almost imperceptible to the human eye. The titan noticed.

It lashed a large hand out again, attempting to grab you, but it accidentally slapped your body away. You cried out in pain, and you flew in the direction of your friends, hurtling towards the ground. You were falling so fast, and you felt yourself grow dizzy from being chucked around so much in the last five minutes.

Eren yelled out your name, a whimper stuck in his throat at the sight of your almost lifeless body spiraling downwards. Jean’s eyes widened, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to make it in time.

Levi’s heart stopped upon witnessing the titan slap your body with so much force. You were plummeting towards the ground at an impossible speed, and he didn’t even think twice before withdrawing his ODM gear’s hooks and diving towards you within the blink of an eye. His cape flew behind him, and a determined glint had overtaken his angry features. 

You had been bordering between consciousness and unconsciousness, yet the sight above you had been so clear that it almost felt as if everything was moving in slow motion. Your long hair flew around you, creating a curtain around your face, as you looked up at Levi. He had dived towards you, his jaw so tightly clenched. His muscular long arm began reaching out to you. The ground was quickly approaching, and you felt a sense of serenity at the sight of your Captain, despite your confusion and the severity of this situation.

“Levi,” you mumbled, smiling softly.

His face dropped upon seeing the calm expression on your face, and he willed himself to go faster, a number of expletive curses ringing through his head. 

That damn titan. Did it know how small you were? How precious you were?

He spun himself slightly to gain momentum, and he saw you were just within reach. Levi confidently stretched his strong arm out even more, managing to wrap his hand around your arm. He swiftly pulled you into his chest, one arm wrapping around your waist, while the other hand cradled your head protectively against his broad chest. He swiftly flipped himself around to face his body upwards, further ensuring he’d take the majority of the blow in case you two ended up hitting the ground, and shot both of his ODM gear’s hooks into a nearby tree, propelling both of you away from the ground and towards the high branch. You fleetingly realized how familiar this position felt.

Once Levi safely landed, he kneeled, and supported your body against his thigh as he continued to hold you in his arms. He quickly looked over his shoulder, and could make out the sight of the titan falling to the ground. All the members of his squad seemed alive and well, so he turned his attention back to you. His eyes quickly darted over your face, desperately searching for any obvious injuries.

Your eyes fluttered open at the feeling of Levi running his hands through your hair and over your cheeks. The Levi in front of you was leagues different from the cool and composed one you had come to know. He had a frantic look in his eyes, his jaw clenched tightly, as he desperately peered down at you. 

“Le… Levi?” You mumbled, your voice still a little hoarse from your recent infirmary stay.

“You are so precious to me, you hear me?” He lowly spoke, panic and anger and a whole plethora of emotions coloring his normally deadpan voice.  

Your jaw fell open and you were almost positive you were suffering from a mean concussion, and this was a hallucination. “Wha—”

“You’re a fucking brat— an incredibly frustrating, resilient little brat— but you’re mine.”

You dazedly looked up at him, and you realized how close his face was to yours. His muscular chest was heaving up and down, and a small droplet of sweat dripped down from his hairline. Levi’s handsome features held nothing but adoration for you, and in that moment nothing could bring you down from the high you were experiencing. You felt his warm hands cup your cheek once more, a habit he seemed to be fond of.

“You want a fucking declaration of love? Here it is— if anything happens to you, I swear I’ll kill every titan on this piece of shit planet,” he spoke, surprisingly unbothered with how vulnerable he was being with you. He moved closer to you, his forehead nearly resting on your own. “I don’t give a fuck if you hate me or not. You’re mine, and I’m yours. And that’s all there is to it.”

Your hand creeped up to grasp the wrist of the hand that had been caressing your face, and you tightened your fingers around it. He froze, momentarily wondering if you were rejecting his confession, and he internally groaned at the thought. 

There’d be no coming back from this one.

“You’re mine?” You shakily asked, a gloriously beautiful smile slowly gracing your features.

“That’s what I said,” he mumbled, attempting to conceal how lovestruck he felt at your smile.

“After… after we get home and I get some medical attention, you’re going to have to kiss me, alright? I’m—”

You were cut off by his lips pressing against your own. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you relished in the soft feeling of his lips molding against yours. You felt an indescribable warmth erupt in your chest, and you whimpered against Levi’s lips. His kiss was soft and warm, a huge contrast to the Levi from this past month. He pulled away just as quickly as he had bent down.

“One for the road,” he simply explained, glancing down at you. He internally smirked at the pretty blush coloring your cheeks— he was always fond of the sight.

▲▼▲

“You’re not serious.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

You stifled your giggles at Levi’s straight face. Your expression still showed your disbelief at what he had just told you.

“I’m not an idiot, Levi, I know how some people look at me,” you laughed, rolling your eyes playfully.

“Even the Commander?”

“Oh, I’m working my way up through the ranks right now, can’t you tell?” You teased, gesturing down to your intertwined bodies, as you both faced each other in his warm bed.

“You’re funny, brat,” he deadpanned, no heat and all fondness as he affectionately pinched your cheeks.

You snuggled deeper into his chest, savoring the warmth that you were enveloped in. You were wearing his shirt— still warm and smelling strongly of him— and you inhaled softly as your face pressed deeper into his chest. Somehow, the slight aftermath of your headache from the recent expedition began to dull slightly.

“I’m sorry again,” Levi murmured, softly cradling your head against his chest.

“Really? I couldn’t tell the first five hundred times you said so,” you teased, looking up at him. Your breath hitched at the sight of his face angled down towards you, dark wisps of hair falling over his eyes and structured face. Levi was so painfully handsome, you could feel your heart flutter.

His eyes were intense, and his guilt continued to stir within his stomach. Seemingly able to read his mind, you pressed a chaste kiss to his warm chest.

“Idiot,” you mumbled, “I really wouldn’t care if the King himself came up to me and proposed, and you know exactly why.” 

“Humor me.”

“Terrifying guy, goes by the name of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier?”

He chuckled lowly, the deepness of his voice vibrating through his chest, and your insides turned to mush. Feeling relieved at successfully pulling Levi out of his little hole of guilt, you yawned softly. Your bruised ribs still ached at times, yet you ignored it this time to cuddle deeper into Levi, who was also on the verge of sleep.

He was sleepily looking down at you, observing your attempts to get comfortable in his embrace, and he softly smiled to himself. His muscular arms tightened around you, one of his hands coming to rest on the soft curve of your hip. He relished in the fact that sleep would be coming easily to him with you here. Levi had surprised himself with how easily he was able to show his affections toward you, and he chalked it up to that being further proof that you really were the only one for him.

He felt a warmth come from the sweet pang in his chest, and it spread throughout his entire body. Levi had learned to associate that feeling with you.

His eyes closed silently, and you pressed one last kiss to his chest.

“Precious,” he mumbled, “Precious little brat.”

▲▼▲

[bastardtetsu]

{day 09} vanilla ice cream | tsukki x reader

pairing: tsukishima kei x gn!reader

genre: enemies to lovers, secret pen pal, mutual pining a lil bit?

wc: 1.5k

warnings: sick reader (hangover/cold), mention of drinking, some swearing, tsukki showing human empathy

⍋⋆*❅｡. 25 days of fic-mas mlist .｡❅*⋆⍋

somehow it all reminds me of doctor jekyll and mister hyde for right before my eyes, a man that i despise has turned into a man i like

—vanilla ice cream; she loves me (music by jerry bock, lyrics by sheldon harnick)

the first thing you notice as you wake up is your pounding headache. it’s hard to be surprised at your state after the amount of alcohol you consumed last night - not without good reason, of course. as awful as you’re feeling now, it’s nothing compared to the hell that was last night.

it wasn’t supposed to go like that - it was supposed to be a magical, maybe even romantic evening. you had been looking forward to meeting your mystery friend ever since the two of you started messaging each other online, but you hadn’t expected to develop a full-blown crush on this person without even finding out what they look like.

but the more you got to know their personality, exchanging playlists and talking about your similar tastes in music, the more your messages to each other became fonder, even flirty at times. perhaps it was the level of anonymity that made you both so comfortable talking to each other, but you quickly became each other’s most trusted confidants.

when you started working at the record store, things became a little more stressful as you adjusted to your schedule becoming tighter, having to handle the occasional nasty customer, and dealing with one coworker in particular who must have being rude to you written into his DNA. talking with your anonymous friend is a much-needed escape, a distraction from the mundane, a hidden treasure that only you get to enjoy.

so as you sat waiting in the cafe last night, a rose laid out on the table as you had promised your dear friend, nothing could’ve killed your vibe faster than the aforementioned rude coworker - tsukishima kei - showing up and ruining everything.

you could tell he was only there because you’d insisted on leaving work early to make this date, and he wanted to see if you were lying. he only proved his intentions more when he had the audacity to sit down at your table and make jabs at you for meeting up with someone you met online.

“you’ve been waiting an awful long time haven’t you?” he taunted.

“tsukki, if you don’t leave this table—“

“and you’ve never even met them? this is how people get murdered, you know,” he sneered condescendingly. you almost got thrown out because of how loudly you screamed at him. thankfully you didn’t - although you did seem to strike some nerves with tsukishima, which you felt a bit bad about - but even though you waited at the cafe until closing, nobody showed up, leaving you alone with a single rose and a full bottle of wine.

needless to say, you have every reason to feel like shit this morning. not only are you hungover and heartbroken, having heard nothing but radio silence from your friend, you’re starting to feel lightheaded and stuffy-nosed too. you waste no time calling in sick, burying yourself in your blankets as you try your best to shut out the pounding in your head and the salty tears beginning to sting the backs of your eyelids.

suddenly, a knock at the door jolts you back to reality. “who is it?” you call out weakly.

another knock. you drag yourself out of bed with a quiet groan and go to answer the door, only to be met with a familiar lanky blond.

“what do you want, tsukishima,” you demand dryly, “did you have something you forgot to say last night? if you do say it fast, i don’t feel well today.”

“yeah i know, you called out of work,” he replies ambivalently, “that’s why i’m here.”

“oh, so you’re here to check up on me again, make sure i’m not slacking off?” you taunt him, your temper rising.

“that’s not—“

“you gonna go back to work and tell everyone i’m lying? that i just don’t care about my job?”

“no i’m n—“

“well joke’s on you, four-eyes, ‘cause guess what? i’m not giving you the chance.” you immediately start gathering your belongings, preparing to go to work.

“what?”

“i won’t be that late,” you mumble to yourself, throwing a coat over your arm as you hurriedly grab your keys, “fuck— where the hell is my other shoe??”

“oi,” tsukishima says firmly, “y/n. you need to lie down.”

“fuck off,” you bite back at him.

“no seriously, you look like you have a fever.”

“i don’t care,” you snarl, “help me look for my shoe, i know it’s here somewhere—HEY!!!”

there’s not much you can do but continue screaming at him as tsukishima scoops you up in his scrawny arms - which are evidently way stronger than they look - and carries you to your bed, dumping you unceremoniously on top of the blankets.

“THE FUCK WAS THAT?!?” you shout. he just shrugs.

“what was i supposed to do? you wouldn’t get back in bed.” he says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. arrogant prick. you slump down into your blankets, feeling too depleted to pick a fight anymore.

“i brought you something.”

your head shoots up as a plastic grocery bag lands next to it. opening it up, you find a tub of vanilla ice cream inside. “it’s the best thing to eat when you’re sick,” he states.

“a-ah,” you stutter hesitantly, “thanks.” is tsukishima being… nice to you?

“did that uh… friend of yours ever show up?” he asks cautiously.

“no,” you mutter bitterly, “i waited til closing. guess you were right, meeting some stranger from the internet really was a stupid idea.”

“hm,” he grunts awkwardly, looking away from you.

“i mean,” you continue, “the least they could’ve done was give me some sort of explanation. instead they just fucking ghosted—“

“they didn’t ghost,” tsukishima interjects suddenly, almost defensive. “i mean— it hasn’t even been a day, they’ll probably hit you up later.”

“and how do you know?”

“because—“ he stops short, hesitating for a moment before continuing, “i saw the guy last night. on the way out of the cafe.”

“wait—what??” you exclaim, “you saw them? how do you know??”

“they were supposed to be holding a rose, right? like the one you had?”

“yeah— wait, how do you know about that?”

“it wasn’t hard to figure out. people usually don’t sit at cafes with loose flowers on the table unless it’s something dumb like that.”

“shut up, you wouldn’t know romance if it bit you in the ass,” you snap back, “so he’s a guy? what did he look like? did you talk to him? what did he say?”

“yeah, uh— he asked if i knew you,” tsukishima recounts, “and he wanted me to tell you he’s sorry for bailing, but something else came up.”

“anything else??” the eager glow in your eyes is suffocating as you stare him down, hungry for more details.

“yeah. he— he was kinda ugly.”

“…seriously?” you respond, half unimpressed with his attempt at a joke and half nervous that he isn’t joking at all.

“what, does that matter?” tsukishima replies mockingly, “i thought you liked him for his personality.”

“i do,” you jab, “and you know what, i don’t care what he looks like. and i certainly don’t care about what your salty ass thinks of him. i’m gonna message him right now, actually”

“have fun,” he says dismissively, turning to make his way out before pausing to pull a record from the vinyl collection on your shelf. “you like this album?”

“yeah, duh. it’s been one of my favorites for years.”

“huh. me too,” he replies, “it’s crazy how it stays with me. sometimes i swear i can hear it in my head while i’m asleep.”

“that’s funny,” you say, “my friend does the same thing. he hears it in his sleep.”

“heh. that is funny,” he mutters quietly as he turns to leave.

“tsukki—“ you stop him before he exits, “thanks for today. you’re not as awful as i thought.” a tentative smile graces your lips.

“whatever,” he mutters, quickly turning his face away from yours, “see you at work tomorrow.” as he retreats out the door, he prays you didn’t notice his blushing cheeks.

once tsukishima is out the door, you waste no time crafting a new message to your friend - but you find yourself struggling to piece together sentences as you snack on the ice cream tsukki brought you, the cold sensation easing your aching throat. was that really the same guy who’s been an asshole to you since the day you started working with him?

it’s incredible that the two of you even spent 2 minutes together without being at each other’s throats like usual, and even more so that someone as harsh and bitter as tsukishima would do something as kind as show up at your door with ice cream when you’re sick. he even said something to make you feel better - and it worked.

realizing that you’ve zoned out, you quickly snap your attention back to your message. but as you continue typing, you find your thoughts continually drifting back to the tall, bespectacled blond and his uncharacteristic kindness.

by the time you manage to write what you have to say and hit send, tsukishima is safely out of earshot when the new message pings on his phone.

he smiles and hopes that you figure it out soon, too.

a/n: i hope the ending for this one is clear addsdsdf,,,, i watched the entire roundabout she loves me revival to get inspired for this (and by get inspired i mean remember the plot details of she loves me bc i had only seen it once before lmao) tbh the narrative of this fic actually covers like 3 different songs, bc old musicals are weird and thought it was necessary to make looking for a shoe an entire number. anyways, all I have to offer you today is laura benanti being utter perfection and all of my love <3

taglist: @izagraceee​ @musicgetsmeoutofbed​ @azo-musxas​ @tsumurai @ghostlydiamond135 @animeboysimppp

[hana1379]

Tequila and Ridiculously Pink Dress

Summary: Being a guest at a wedding sometimes can make you feel adventurous. And you can't say no when a devil named Natasha persuades you to have a little fun.  

Pairing: Bucky Barne x Reader, other minor pairings

Warnings: SMUT, oral sex (female & male receiving), vaginal fingering, One night stands, language,18+

Words: 3.8k

Notes: I wanted to get back to writing here, so I wrote this instead of writing my thesis. Yay! The idea is loosely based on some story from a game I played.

Oh, I realized that we don’t have line breaks anymore and I’m confused bc why?

!If you spot any mistakes please blame my lack of education and/or Grammarly!

You were awakened by the sound of a notification on your phone. Blindly, you reached in every direction to grab it when you felt something on your left. Something firm yet delicate and oddly known. Having increasing pain in your head in regard you only peaked with one eye from the safety of a comforter. You saw a torso. Man's torso. Oh. So you ended up with a guy in bed. Putting two and two together you got drunk and got laid. Shit.

You didn't know who the man was nor you cared, wanting only to leave before he wakes up. You weren't the type to sleep around still not being completely over your break up almost half a year ago. 

You pulled the covers from your body wincing at the pain in your skull. Where the hell was your dress? Where the hell were you? 

Looking around you saw that you were in a hotel room. You saw your dress lying on the floor by the door, tiptoeing you moved to your possession when with dread you saw your panties hanging on the doorknob. The doors were shut on them, there was no way people didn't see your black lace garment from the corridor. 

Slowly and as quiet as possible you opened the door to take a hold of your thongs and closed the door immediately after. Relieved that the commotion although quiet didn’t wake up the guy. You tiptoed once more through the room to the one place where you could be alone, grabbing your bra on the way.

You closed the door behind you wincing at the sudden loud sound of the lock. 

“What the fuck?” you whispered facepalming yourself. You glanced at the mirror seeing the state you were in. One thing was sure; you were never, ever drinking tequila again. 

You were sipping a glass of ridiculously expensive wine, observing the dance floor. You smiled seeing the groom spinning the bride making her laugh. They looked happy, they were happy and you were happy for them. Steve and Sharon were made for each other. You admired Sharon for not giving up on her happiness and fighting for Steve. Lucky bastard. You wanted someone to fight for you the way Sharon did, and what you got was your ex explaining to you that he wasn't ready for any commitment only to knock up some random girl and marry her. 

At this point you were sure that every guy in the world was an ass, even Steve’s best man- Sam left you to hit on some girls. Right, it wasn’t like he had to babysit you because he was the best man and you were Sharon’s maid of honor but still, you felt alone surrounded by Steve and Sharon’s mutual friends from work, you were the only one from her high school friends she invited.

“Hiya cutie” sounded Natasha’s velvet voice. You met her and Sharon’s other friends on the bride shower two weeks prior. You were keen on them but it wasn’t like you were all the biggest of friends after one party. “Why are you sulking above your cake? Which piece are you on? Twelve?”

You scoffed “No, it’s only my second. Besides it’s nobody's business how many pieces I ate” 

“That’s the spirit! Fuck diet” she announced and sat beside you taking a mouthful of an intact piece that belonged to Sam but you were pretty sure he was eating something else right now. 

“So why are you looking like someone stole your man?” 

“I don’t know, maybe it’s the thing with my ex. I mean, I really thought he was the one” you said moving around the piece of cake you didn't eat yet on the plate.

"Maybe he was the one but not for you," Natasha said looking at her cake with hunger in her eyes. She took another mouthful and when you didn't comment she quickly chewed before swallowing.

"You know what I think you need?

"What?" You averted your eyes to look at the dancing people, you weren't interested in what Natasha wanted to say

"You need to get laid," she said with pride in her voice, you looked at her and snorted. She wasn't serious

"I mean it. Look, you see that guy?" Natasha pointed with her chin to a guy sitting at the table across the room. He was gorgeous, with broad shoulders and a perfect face. The most handsome man you ever saw in your life. A god. Sex on the legs.

"His name is Thor and he came alone here tonight. If you like them pretty and dummy then he's a perfect match for you. Go talk to him"

"Why don't you talk to him?" You laughed trying to hide how embarrassed you were starting to get

"I cherish brian more than muscles. Go for it" 

Actually, you thought why not? It wasn't like after one night you were supposed to date him.

"Come on Y/N live a little, relax and let loose" the devil on your shoulder named Natasha successfully was convincing you to sin. To sin with a fine specimen. You wouldn't mind if after everything he would take you out.

"You know what? Why the hell not? I'm going to him" you said and gulped down the rest of your wine in one go "but I think I need a drink first" 

"Yeah! You won't regret it I tell you. Go" she stood up and saluted you only to sit down again and stuff her mouth with another spoonful

You moved to the bar on the other end of the hall trying to get a hold of your ridiculously puffy dress. You had hoped that when Sharon asked you to be her maid of honor she wouldn't get you a typical pink dress for a maid. How you were wrong. 

You reached the bar and waited patiently for the bartender to acknowledge you, looking from time to time at the Thor guy, you didn't want him to go somewhere without you noticing. When the bartender finally turned to you with a big smile on his face you ordered a tequila shot. You felt like having fun so why not? 

He poured one for you in a shot glass with salty crust, he also gave you a lime slice. You took a breath before taking a shot and then sank your teeth in lime. Why did it feel like you died? You ordered another and gulped it down as quickly as it appeared on the bar. 

It was now or never. You turned around in the direction of the guy with newly gained confidence thanks to the alcohol and a big smile on your face. First impressions are important and you wanted him to see that you are not a grumpy hag. Your big grin soon faltered when you spotted the Thor guy locking lips with some cute brunette. Typical.

Looks like your plans turned into dust. Once again you turned to the bartender, accepting your fate of being lonely forever. 

“Tequila please” bartender smiled at you with pity in his eyes, he knew what state of mind you were in. 

“Oh man” somebody breathed snickering quietly, but not quietly enough for you not to hear. You turned your head to the sound and you saw a guy standing there with a half-finished tumbler with amber liquid in it. You weren’t stupid, he wanted you to hear and his bright smile gave it away.

“I’m sorry, do I amuse you?” you asked narrowing your eyes at him, he only laughed harder

“A little, yes” his blue eyes twinkled and before you were able to respond and told him to go to hell he continued his dilation “What Romanoff did tell you about him? That he came here alone? Then she must be blind or she’s getting old” you didn’t know where this was going and the stranger sighed and slid closer to you with a glass in his hand. He discreetly pointed at Thor and the girl who was now laughing at something he said and holding his hand. 

“It’s his new girlfriend- Jane. They're dating for two weeks now I think.” You looked at them, really looked and scolded yourself at how stupid you were thinking someone as hot as Thor could be alone. 

“Soooo, I guess it’s better that you saw it from afar than you know, hitting on him and then his girlfriend coming. That would be awkward as hell” he said and you hated that he was right, you would’ve been crossed out among Sharon’s friends, or at least you would be laughed at, and you weren’t sure you would survive that. 

“I’m James” the stranger extended his hand to you and you tentatively took it.  

“Y/N” you gave him a small smile and he shook your hand

“Y/N” James tasted your name on hi tongue “I like it, it suits you,” he said and you snorted

“Thank you for being polite but I think I’m gonna head home.” you tried to straighten your dress which was impossible with the amount of tulle. 

“The night is young Y/N, have fun while you can” he gave you the warmest smile you have ever received making you realize that yet again he was right. You wanted to have fun and it wasn’t like Thor dumped you or rejected you, taking into consideration he didn’t even know you existed. You nodded your head at James and ordered the whole bottle of tequila before he led you to the corner where he’s been previously sitting. 

“And then Steve was like thrown into garbage cans in the alley and then he lifted himself trying looking like a badass and said ‘I can do this all day’ like a fucking pro” you giggled at the story Bucky was telling you. Earlier during your conversation, James revealed that he preferred to be called Bucky because James made him feel old and Jim was too stupid. He told you where the nickname ‘Bucky’ came from but at this point, you didn’t remember. 

“So” you started to make him look at you “why aren’t you Steve’s best man knowing that he considers you his best friend?” Bucky chuckled awkwardly

“I’m not a person who likes to be in a spotlight, you know on the photos be almost in the foreground” 

“You think I like it?” Bucky lifted his brew and meaningfully looked at your ridiculously pink dress “I didn’t choose that dress” you said in your defense and Bucky chuckled reaching for tequila’s bottle to pour you both another shot. 

You glanced away and you saw Natasha in her sparkly red dress leading some guy behind her by the hand. Guy looked the way she told you she liked them ‘more brain than muscle’. When she saw that you were observing her she stopped and eyed your companion before giving you thumbs up with her known smirk and then she grabbed the guy’s hand and continued marching. 

You felt Bucky tapping you with his glass on your arm to bring your attention to him. You reached for your now full glass and clicked with Bucky’s before you both took a shot. 

You were suddenly pulled back to reality when a sound of smashing glass echoed in the room. You saw Thor’s girlfriend loudly telling him not to do that. Do what? Who cares. You didn’t know how long it took until you realized that somebody’s moist mouths were sliding along your neck and sucking at one particular place that made you moan quietly. 

“Bucky we shouldn’t do that, not here,” you said and you were relieved that when he lifted his head it was Bucky and not some random dude

“People can see us”

“No one will, everybody is too drunk or they’ve gone to sleep” you looked around the dance floor and you saw several patrons at the table clearly drunk and the only dancing pair. Steve and Sharon were swaying to the quiet almost nonexistent beat, holding each other close. 

“We can go to my hotel room. What do you say?” Bucky's voice ringed in your ears and you simply nodded your head.

Bucky closed the door with his boot because his hands were too occupied with pulling at your dress. Maybe you were too overwhelmed by his tongue in your mouth or maybe it was his scent or maybe the booze but you stood there by the door, letting him devour you. 

"Bucky the door," you said against his lips seeing that the door wasn't closed properly. Without pulling away from you he reached under your dress and you squealed. 

"Give me your panties" he panted and without any word, he got down on his knee and pulled your thongs down. He straightened holding a back lace between his fingers, Bucky smirked before he pecked you on the lips. You saw him hanging your garment on the doorknob and shutting the door on them. He turned to you and pulled your dress down making you gasp when you heard seams ripping.

"Hey! I have to give it b-" Bucky silenced you with his mouth 

"You look better without it anyway" he placed his hands on your face and steered you to the bed still not pausing the kiss. He gently laid you on the bed spreading your legs and looking at you with greed in his eyes. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, still looking at you from between your legs. You reached your arms to him. You wanted him, you wanted him badly.

“Bucky please” you whined pathetically and he darkly chuckled

“Not now baby girl, I need to taste you first” before you had time to acknowledge his words Bucky sank to his knees and you felt his hot breath on your core making you shudder. Bucky parted your folds with his tongue and you moaned. God, that felt good. You gasped and released a porn worthy moan. Bucky groaned against you when his tongue ventured to your entrance and sank in. You missed this, you missed being this close to somebody because truth to be told none of any toys in the world won’t replace another human being. 

Your steam of thoughts was interrupted when Bucky inserted a finger inside you and latched his lips on your little love button. 

Your hand shoot to his hair.

“Oh fuck” you panted trying not to come too fast when Bucky inserted his second digit.

“You taste so good,” Bucky said smirking at you and only then you realized that he was only pleasuring you with his fingers. “And you’re so tight” he slowly dragged his fingers across your walls making you wail. 

“Pl-please don’t stop, I need to come” you sobbed and Bucky dived in again continuing his assault. His fingers were moving faster and faster with every passing second and you felt like your orgasm were creeping behind a corner, only three-four pushes and you would be seeing stars but Bucky stubbornly avoided that once spot within you that could make you climax. Frustrated you glanced at him and you saw he had a shit-eating grin plastered on his face and then his fingers brushed it once, twice and you were done for. Clenching hard on his fingers you reached your peak. 

When you still didn’t come around, Bucky crawled to hover above you and kissed you. You swore to god that was the most fervent kiss in your life. Numbly you moved your fingers to his belt and started to fight with his buckle failing miserably. 

“Let me” he mumbled before he straightened and unbuckled his belt. You took the opportunity to get rid of your bra. You bit your lips seeing Bucky pulling his pants down and when his cock sprang free you almost choked. He was big, it was sure as hell you would be choking on him. 

“C’mere” he summoned you with his hand and you obliged. You were sure that you would do anything in your power to make you both feel good. 

You kneeled before him beside the bed and Bucky fisted your hair maneuvering your head so that your lips were close to the tip. You opened your mouth waiting for him to insert but you were greeted with him smearing his precome on your lips, like sticky lipstick. You darted your tongue and teased him making Bucky hiss. He untangled his hand from your hair and for you, it was a cue to start the action. 

You placed your hand on the base because for sure, you weren’t able to fit everything in your mouth. You slowly started to stroke him while your tongue massaged the underside of his cock. Bucky shuddered and placed his hand on the back of your head signalizing what he wanted. You tried to relax your throat to accommodate him as much as you could when you gagged and Bucky groaned. You knew you weren’t capable of fitting him whole, but Bucky seemed like he didn’t mind lolling his head to the back. You moved your head up and down on his shaft from time to time releasing him to take a breath and your hand to stroke him. He authentically moaned when you slide your tongue on his manhood from his balls to the tip, you the took him in your mouth as far as your throat allowed when you felt him twitch.

It was your cue to double your efforts because he was close. But Bucky had other plans. He grabbed your head preventing you to move and he exited your mouth. He helped you on your feet only to turn you around and push you onto the bed. 

You ended up on your hands and knees before him and it was a perfect opportunity to tease him with a sight of your butt and soaking core. Bucky was rapidly rifling through his trousers making you giggle when you saw that he had a hard time focusing on his task. 

When he finally found what he was looking for he ripped the package with his teeth and rolled the condom onto his throbbing dick. Bucky scaled bed and pushed your torso into the bed making your butt stick out even more. He grabbed his dick and teased your slit with it. 

You whined in dissatisfaction but your whine soon altered into a pornographic moan when Bucky sank his girth into you.

“Jesus girl, you’re tight” Bucky muttered when he bottomed out. He let you grow accustomed to his size, caressing your back, and making shallow thrusts. You tried to make him fuck you, you didn’t want to wait, you wanted him to fuck you hard any time now. You straightened your arms and lifted your body from your position when Bucky pushed you once more making your face colliding with the comforter. Without any warning, he moved his hips so that only his tip was inside and the next second he drove into you. 

You cried out, the comforter muffling your screams but Bucky had no intention in stopping his satisfying thrusts. 

You were in heaven, you were sure you died and now this was your reward for having such a botched love life. 

Bucky was impaling you on his dick in a rapid motion and you felt the peak rushing in. The wet sounds that were heard in a room, believe it or not, were making you hornier with each passing second. Bucky’s hands on your hips weren’t helping you hold either. 

“Bucky” you panted “Bucky please I can’t hold on” your cried out into the comforter signaling your inexorably approaching peak. 

“Then let go, baby girl. I want you to come on my dick” at his word you screamed and felt a delightful bliss. You clamped down on him and Bucky had to clench his teeth not to come, he wanted to savor this moment as long as he possibly could. He also soon reached his orgasm groaning from the ecstasy. 

He collapsed next to you and with a smile on his face he scooted closer to you. Bucky swept dome of your hair that managed to fall from your hairdo and leaned above you.

“You’re perfect,” he said before he captured your lips in a delicate kiss.

Banging from the other side of the door made you realize that your male company has woken up. You didn’t know what to do and what to expect. So you screamed from the bottom of your lungs.

“I need to dress! Wait a minute!” you quickly pulled your panties and bra on when you heard a groan of annoyance. 

“Girl you can dress in the room, come on open up, I need to pee” he really sounded like he had to go so you decided to let him in. 

You opened the door and he marched in, still naked as the day he was born. Your mouth gaped, you weren’t expecting that.

He muttered something like ‘god damn you woman’ and you had a hard time not to look at his dick and/or butt. 

You exited the bathroom to give him a little bit of space and tried to put on your dress when you saw that it was ripped at the seams. 

“Doll can you grab my pants and give me them?” Bucky’s voice echoed. ‘Girl, woman, doll’ it sounded like he already had forgotten your name. You exhaled and grabbed his pants from the floor making his phone slip out from the pocket. 

“You know I have a name?” you said with outstretched hand looking away, seeing his dick and knowing where it was and what you were doing with it made you somehow nauseous or maybe it was your hangover. 

“I know,” he said with humor in his voice, “I think your dress is ruined” you heard him say with an accompaniment of his rustling clothes

“No shit” you murmured and sat on the bed next to his phone when the thing’s screen brightened showing that Buck had an unread message. 

“You can take my shirt or if you prefer you can stay here” his voice didn’t reach you because even though that it was rude and nosy your curiosity predominated over your responsibility, especially when the text was from Natasha. 

U know Barnes, you should pay me for being such a wonderful matchmaker. I hope Y/N doesn’t regret that.

People I had in my tag list at least one year ago and I was able to tag: @thessaswea @stanskarsgard @chipilerendi @bexboo616 @peaceinourtime82 @usernamesarelies @bulaklakas @lovely-geek @httpmcrvel @antichrist-langdon13 @rebelfleur22 @adrememporium @metalarmlover @benedrylcumbersnatch @myattemptatfanfictioning @british-men

I’m tagging @suz-123​ bc you said you wanted to read year ago and @eamesandbellamyaremyheaven​, if anything changed just please ignore this

[kyber-crystal]

Divided We Fall

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: ~2.7k

Summary: In which she feels torn between the man she’s grown to love, whose ideas she agrees with, and her mentor and brother figure - who took her in with open arms and always accepted her when nobody else could.

Warnings: mentions of violence, angst, soft steve as always. you know the drill

A/N: tony’s your sort-of older brother (he took you in to train you not long before howard and maria passed), and you’re around steve’s age? I think? idk. includes a short IW scene but the time skip isn’t as drastic. SUPER SHITTY BC THIS IS A REALLY OLD ONESHOT

Tags: @pies-writes-and-more​ <3

Steve stood alone in the isle after Peggy’s funeral, leaning against the pew as he stared blankly down at the ground with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

You silently approached him and without introduction, he began to speak. "When I came out of the ice, I thought everyone I had known was gone. Then I found out that she was alive. I was just lucky to have her."

"She had you back, too."

Steve looked up, meeting your gaze. "Who else signed?"

"Tony, Rhodey, Vision, Nat."

"Clint?"

"Says he's retired," you smiled slightly.

"Wanda?"

"TBD. I'm off to Vienna for the signing of the Accords. There's plenty of room on the jet."

Steve sighed and bowed his head.

"Just because it's the path of least resistance," you continued, "doesn't mean it's the wrong path. Staying together is more important than how we stay together."

"What are we giving up to do it?" He shook his head, unconvinced by your words. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I can't sign it."

"I know. I don't want to, either. But it's not like I have any other choice."

"The thing is, you do."

"You know why I am." You gave him a hard stare. "Tony...he's basically the only family I have left. I'm no longer a daughter, no longer a girl with dreams...no longer with hope. I'm a weapon. As much as I don't agree with him, betraying him is the last thing I wanna do. He’s my mentor. I can’t just turn against him like that...it wouldn’t feel right."

"Y/N..."

"You know what I've done," you took in a deep breath, "I don't want to hurt any more people. I don't want to be controlled by a government that might not deem everything big enough of a threat for us to go out and do something about it, but I can't risk any more than I already have. I don't have any other choice but to sign those Accords, Steve."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I didn't want you to be alone."

You stepped forward, carefully pulling him into an embrace and at first, he tensed up at your touch but eventually relaxed, letting his arms wrap around you to pull you closer. And he just held you there, one arm wrapped tightly around your waist, the other one held to the back of your head. Your head was buried in his chest and the warmth of him felt so familiar and safe; oddly comforting, that your chest began to ache because you knew in a matter of time you'd be ripped apart again.

Steve felt guilty. Despite the fact that he was the majority of the reason why all of this was happening, you still found it in your heart to look past it all and forgive him, to accept him for who he was. 

The broken woman standing before him was someone he'd grown to care about far more than he wanted himself to. Knowing that it wasn't long before you were taken away from him and forced to stand against him only made his grip around you tighten, as he was afraid to let you go out of his sight.

...

Seeing you across from him on the opposite side of the battlefield, standing firmly in between your Tony and T'Challa, broke his heart. If he was forced to fight Tony's team, he would. But he wasn't going to fight you, no matter what.

Everyone, while they were all busy fighting each other, could clearly tell something was going on between the two of you. But they didn't question it. They could clearly tell Steve loved you too much to even try and lay a finger on you and when someone else tried to, he quickly advanced on them.

You finally caved and turned last minute towards the end of the battle, unable to stand against the one man you cared about more than anyone else that wasn't family.

Everyone's actions followed with consequences. Though you'd switched sides abruptly, you'd been granted permission to stay with Tony at the compound under strict circumstances that you never stepped out of line again, or you'd be sent to the Raft prison along with the rest of Team Cap as well.

"Cap loves you, you know," Rhodey noticed your solemn expression as you, him, and Tony sat around in the lounge, taking in the aftermath.

You shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut as you pressed your fingers to your temples. "I made a mistake."

"We all make mistakes. People do bad things when they're trying to survive."

"Tony, I'm sorry," you turned over to the billionaire, "but I just...I couldn't stand against him. Not when we've stuck together for so long." The words that came out of Tony's mouth surprised you.

"I know. He couldn't do that, either."

"We've all done things that we'd like to take back," you murmured, staring down at your hands now in your lap, "Pain makes people change. I'd like to believe I didn't just do this, I didn't almost turn on you guys. You know I didn't want to sign. But I did, because you're like my family. I can't fight my own family." "He's made mistakes, yeah," Rhodey said, "but we've all messed up, you know. We’re only human.”

"My mistake was letting myself love someone I'd have to end up hurting eventually," you stated bitterly, a sharp edge to your voice.

"Cap made that same mistake, too," Tony spoke up. "We all screwed up. Some of us just have to find it in ourselves to forgive...but I don't know if I can do that yet."

"I know," you glanced over at him, "I miss them so much. Your parents...they changed my life for the better."

The billionaire took in a shaky breath. "I miss them too."

"You guys might wanna open this now," Rhodey handed you an envelope with your name on it, and Tony a package with a phone inside. "Tony Stank."

You snorted, and Tony cracked a small smile.

"Table for one, Tony Stank?" you joked.

"You're practically a Stank too, Y/L/N, you know that," he raised an eyebrow at you.

"Tony Stank just sounds funnier."

You quickly fell silent as you opened the letter.

Y/N, I'm glad you're back at the compound. I don't like the idea of you and Stark rattling around a mansion by yourself. We all need family. The Avengers are yours, maybe more so than mine. I've been on my own since I was 18. I never really fit in anywhere, even in the army. My faith's in people, I guess. Individuals. And I'm happy to say that, for the most part, they haven't let me down. Which is why I can't let them down either. Locks can be replaced, but maybe they shouldn't. I know I hurt you both. I guess I thought by not telling you about Howard and Maria that I was sparing you, but I can see now that I was really sparing myself, and I'm sorry. Hopefully one day you can understand. I wish we all agreed on the Accords, I really do. I know you're doing what you believe in, and that's all any of us can do. I know you didn't want to sign, but you were right in siding with your family. Even though you were on the opposite side of the battlefield, I couldn't fight you. I didn't want to hurt you. I still don't and I never will. No matter what happens. Just know that I ...

"Priority call from Secretary Ross," FRIDAY's voice drifted through the room, "There's been a breach at the Raft prison." "Yeah, put him through."

"Y/N, Tony, we have a problem, Cap and—" Ross called in.

"Ah, please hold," you interrupted.

"No, don't—"

You glanced back down at the letter in your hands, filled from top to bottom with Steve's elegant handwriting.

So, no matter what. I promise you, if you need us, if you need me, I'll be there. It's you, it always has been and it always will be, and I'm sorry for realizing that too late. I'm sorry for not being able to come back. I know I promised I'd always be by your side, and I will. Although I may not in the best situation to return right now, I promise you I'll see you soon. Take care, -S.R.

Several tears welled up in your eyes and slipped down your face as you closed the letter, staining the paper with dark spots.

"So, what'd he say," Tony took in your watery eyes and hard-set jaw. "Something wrong?"

"...He's on the run," your voice broke, "but they're all out. He broke them out.”

...

170 DAYS LATER

It was almost half a year of Team Cap jumping from motel to motel under different names and disguises every night, while still trying to defend the world as best as they possibly could. And when they were caught, Steve was sure that they'd be sent back.

"He'll come back soon, I'm sure of it," Rhodey reassured you as you watched the news of the search for Captain America was still underway. "When someone loves you the way he does, he's gonna find a way to return."

"He doesn't love me. I'm no better than a monster. And...I'm pretty sure he has heart eyes for Sharon."

"Well, he fucked up on that part," he agreed, clasping your shoulder, "but you know what? In the end, he still loves you. We all saw the way he looked at you back in Germany, he didn't want to hurt you. If he truly cared, he wouldn't hurt you even if you were on the opposing side, and that's what he did. I know he's gonna return: for your sake."

"I don't know why I'm letting myself do this."

"What? Loving him? That isn't anything new."

"New?"

"Sweetheart, I knew from the moment I first saw you look at him that you were. Look, love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can't be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. You gotta be vulnerable and let him in your heart. Otherwise you'll keep feeling like you're in pain."

He did return.

You'd gone to trial and defended him under your name two weeks prior. Much to your current oblivion, your persuasion had worked and he was granted release and allowed to return, though he did so under the same strict circumstances given to you as well. He was warned to not pull off something like this a second time, and promise to ask for the government's aid whenever necessary.

So you're not expecting to buzz him and the others in late one Friday night.

"Y/N."

"Nat?"

"Can you buzz us in?"

"Uh...yeah, sure," you nodded, opening the gates to let them through. Within minutes, they were standing right in front of you, looking the exact same as they did five months ago, though the exhaustion was clear in all their faces.

"Greetings, Y/N." The android's arm was slung around Sam's shoulders, who was helping to hold him upright.

"Vision."

"It's good to see you guys, Rhodey greeted.

"t's great to see you too," Wanda smiled. She seemed to have aged a bit since you'd last seen her though she was only a teenager, but still looked much younger than everyone nonetheless.

"Well, you guys really look like crap. Must've been a rough couple of months."

"Yeah, well, the hotels weren't exactly five-star," Sam shrugged. "Where's Clint?"

"After the whole Accords situation, him and Scott took a deal. It was too tough on their families, they're on house arrest," Natasha explained.

She turned to you and gave you a tight hug, squeezing your hand as she pulled away. "Hey. How you holding up?"

"Could be better," you gave her a sad smile. "I'm fine."

"Y/N, hey."

Steve stepped out from behind Wanda and Sam and took a few tentative steps towards you, his feet feeling heavier by the second.

The one man you thought you wouldn't be seeing again for a while was now in front of you, and you weren't sure how to react. Your heartbeat was deafeningly loud in your ears, drowning out the sounds of everything else as everyone fell silent upon seeing you two interact.

"Hey," you responded a few moments later, stuffing your hands in your jacket pockets. You lifted your head slowly, an unrecognizable sort of emotion flickering in your eyes for a brief second before you averted his gaze and looked back down at the ground.

He still looked the same, with his dirty-blonde hair and tall, muscular build, those piercing blue eyes and comforting arms. The sight of him alone made your chest ache and your stomach twist itself into knots at the same time you felt butterflies flying around. You hated that you allowed yourself to care about him so much, that your body still reacted to the sight of him even after not seeing him for so long.

"Uh...we'll give you two a moment," Sam awkwardly cleared his throat, leaving the room with the others.

When you glanced back up again you could see just how much being away had affected his overall appearance: his bright blue eyes that glittered with authority and passion had lost their light, red-rimmed and bloodshot with dark circles underneath that indicated it had been days since he last slept.

"I'm sorry, I know it took a while, but I'm here now. I missed you."

"I missed you, too," you said quietly. You swallowed hard, feeling the familiar sting to your eyes as you struggled to keep your tears at bay.

He sighed and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close like you'd done to him before all those months ago, gently rubbing your back. Despite the heaviness in your stomach, it still fluttered at the feeling of your body pressed against his and you sunk into his warmth, his touch making the room feel warmer somehow. His arms that held you were soft and comforting, yet strong and firm at the same time, and the feeling of being so close to him was so dizzying to the point it made your head spin. But you didn't want to let go, so you held onto him as tight as you possibly could.

During the time of his absence, when the majority of your days were spent wandering around the compound alone, you taught yourself to ignore the pressing feeling in the back of your head, the way you felt as if there was some void in your heart that could only be filled by him and him alone. Day by day you attempted to convince yourself that no, you weren't falling in love with him, no, you weren't supposed to fall in love with him because it'd only destroy you in the end.

Yet you still did.

Always playing the part of promoting liberty and justice for all, Steve believed his sole purpose was to inspire and empower others to make the world a better place, blending into the mantra of 'a star-spangled man with a plan.' He always planned things out, always knew what he was doing.

So when he realized as he was holding you there in his arms, that he'd fallen in love with you, he didn't have a plan. And frankly, it terrified him.

He didn't have a plan, so he just decided to go with what his gut told him.

Steve brushed a stray hair that fell across your face and tucked it behind your ear. You looked up in surprise, heart hammering against your chest as his thumb brushed ever so gently against your cheek before he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours.

That's all he needed to do in order to eradicate all the anger, all the pent-up frustration and other emotion inside of you, to make you forgive him for every little thing that he's done to break your heart because there was nothing he could possibly do to make you love him any less.

"I love you," you mumbled as you pulled away, resting your head against his broad chest.

"I know. I love you too."

[butgilinsky]

happier // rc

warning; language (i’m convinced i can’t write without swearing), heartache, drinking ig, also not proofread bc i’m lazy 

summary; where rafe cameron broke your heart and has to live with consequences of it. based on happier by ed sheeran.

word count; 2.7k+

Walking down 29th and park I saw you in another's arms Only a month we've been apart You look happier

rafe didn’t know the boy’s name, but he didn’t need to. he didn’t want to. the boy’s name didn’t change the fact that he was lifting you off of the ground and running towards the ocean while you playfully begged him to put you down. 

he supposed it was better than seeing you with someone he knew, but he knew exactly why you had to rope in someone that didn’t know rafe. everybody that knew he him knew you were off limits. it didn’t matter that the two of you had been broken up for a month, you were his. 

well, you were his. you had been his since junior year, when he had walked in to history late and asked if you knew enough of the material for him to cheat off of you. his heart practically soared when you laughed and nodded, choosing to scoot your test to the edge of the desk while you bubbled in answers. 

the island had never made rafe feel so lonely. he suspected you to come back with someone eventually, but not this soon. the two of you had gone to different colleges, and the fact that you had a guy on dec for you made rafe feel uneasy. 

but no matter how much his stomach twisted from the sight of you in someone else’s arms, he knew that it was good for you. you looked happier.

Saw you walk inside a bar He said something to make you laugh I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours Yeah you look happier, you do

it was easy for rafe to notice the way that topper stilled for a split second, his eyes widening slightly at something behind the cameron boy. he turned over his shoulder, despite topper’s attempt to distract him. 

the sight of you made rafe’s heart rate pick up, thumping loudly against his chest. your hand was locked with the same boy he had seen you with back on the island a few weeks prior. the odds of you walking into the same bar as rafe were slim, but the universe had a vendetta against rafe, that was clear to him now. 

you walked straight up to the bar, looping your arm around the boy’s neck and pressing your lips to his cheek, a wide smile spreading across both his and your lips at the gesture. rafe’s heart clenched when the boy leaned over to you, lowering his lips to your ear and saying something that had you throwing your head back in laughter. 

topper tried, yet again, to distract rafe, but it was useless. he had already seen your bright smile directed at somebody that wasn’t him, and that was enough to send him over the edge. 

“she looks happy.” was all he said, swallowing the large lump forming in his throat. 

he saw the look kelce and topper shared. he knew his friends were pitying him, but he knew why you were with someone else. he had hurt you, and now he had to live with the image of you kissing someone else engraved into his mind. 

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain't nobody love you like I do Promise that I will not take it personal baby If you're moving on with someone new

“i can’t believe you would do that right in front of me, rafe.” the tension hanging in the air was thick, thicker than rafe had wanted it to be. but this was his fault, and your reaction was valid. 

“i don’t see what the big deal is, y/n.”

“if i even look at another guy you go absolutely ape shit, but when you’re all over some other girl for the entire night, i’m just supposed to accept that?” rafe rolled his eyes, walking past you and opening his car door. 

“i don’t want to do this right now, y/n.” you stood in your place, arms crossed over your chest while you looked at him, gaze steady and harsh. “get in the car.” 

“no.” he sighed heavily, turning his command into a question with a false sense of softness behind it. when your answer didn’t change, his attempt at being reasonable flew out the window, and his anger stepped back in. 

“why do you have to be so difficult all the time? get in the car.” you shook your head, almost smirking at the sight of rafe getting so angry at the fact that you weren’t doing everything he told you to do. 

“no.” he slammed his door shut then, walking back over to you and lifting you off of your feet. “put me down.”

“not a chance.” he practically threw you into the seat after he’d opened the door, shutting it once he made sure you had all of your limbs tucked safely into your seat. 

the ride had been silent until the instrumental to your song spilled out of the speakers. the two of you glanced at each other for a moment, sharing a look of regret at the fight you had just had. rafe’s hand slid onto your thigh, gripping it softly between his fingers. 

“i’m sorry.” you hummed softly, nodding your head while looking over at him. “i love you.” 

you returned the sentiment, an uneasy feeling settling in your stomach. you knew something similar would happen eventually. it was only a matter of time before rafe broke your heart all over again. 

Cause baby you look happier, you do My friends told me one day I'll feel it too And until then I'll smile to hide the truth But I know I was happier with you

“c’mon, man. you don’t need her.” topper clapped a hand onto the boy’s back, trying to snap him back into the mood to get shit faced in order to take on midsummers. 

truth be told, rafe didn’t think there would ever be a time that he wouldn’t be head over heels in love with you. he had made mistakes, things that had been unforgivable, but he had never felt anything less than love for you. the only reason the two fo you fought the way you did was because you didn’t know how to handle the overwhelming amount of emotion you brought one another. 

but he forced a smile to the surface anyways, nodding along with topper and accepting a drink from kelce. he threw it back quickly, which made topper and rafe cheer and whistle in salute to him. 

once rafe lowered his glass, his eyes found your figure once more. the dress you wore hugged you beautifully, reminding rafe of every curve and bend of your body. he remembered the way his hands felt against your skin every night before bed. the way his hand seemed to fit perfectly on your hip, or the way you would lean into his palm when he held your head in his hands. 

it was a dress he’d never seen before. a dress that he wished he’d be able to rip off of you at the night. he saw the zipper on the backside of it, thinking of how he would’ve loved to slowly slide it down, admiring the way your breaths came out in soft pants. 

he could imagine the way you’d turn over your shoulder and watch his eyes practically devour you. he wish he could be with you right now, gripping your hips while you tugged on his tie. 

but he couldn’t do that, because you weren’t his anymore. you were smiling the same smile that he had fallen in love with all those years ago, but it wasn’t towards him. 

you were smiling at somebody that wasn’t him, and he knew that he couldn’t do anything about it. 

Sat in the corner of the room Everything's reminding me of you Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier Aren't you?

it was supposed to get better as time went on. it was supposed to come as easily to rafe as it did with you. he was supposed to get over it, get over you. 

but he didn’t. in fact, he found himself sitting in the corner of a room full of people, feeling the most alone he’d ever felt. every thing in the house had reminded him of you, pulling memories out of his subconscious and displaying them at the forefront of his mind. 

he had downed more of the bottle than he had even realized, intoxication weighing heavily in his chest while his mind raced through everything it had in your file, tucked neatly into rafe’s mind. 

he didn’t know you were there. he hadn’t seen you walk into the house, greeted by the same people you hung out with every time you were back home for the summer. he hadn’t seen or heard you until he ran into you on his way out to his car. 

“oh shit, sorry.” you rushed out, unaware of who you had run into until after the apology had fallen from your lips. your eyes softened at the sight of rafe, eyes bloodshot and shoulders slumped in his drunken state. 

“don’t worry about it.” he whispered, pushing a soft smile to the surface. 

"i should’ve watched where i was going, my fault.” he nodded, unsure of what else to say to you in this situation. 

he hadn’t spoken to you in months. not after your screaming match that ended in rafe telling you to ‘get the fuck out’. he rememberd the sound of the door slamming, and your tires screeching against the pavement as you pulled out of the driveway. the same noises he heard every time his mind reminded him how bad he had messed up. 

“how are you?” he was surprised you were sparking a conversation with him. he thought you hated him, thought you had given up on all things related to rafe cameron the second you left his house that day. 

he didn’t know the half of it. 

“as good as i can be, i guess.” he wished he could take the words back as soon as he said them, but the way your smile faltered ever so slightly was enough to tell rafe that you still cared. you didn’t want to see him upset. you wanted him to be happy. “how are you?”

“good.” you nodded, though rafe had detected a tone that didn’t exactly back up your claim. “i’m good.” 

were you as happy as rafe assumed you were?

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain't nobody need you like I do I know that there's others that deserve you But my darling I am still in love with you

“rafe, stop!” sarah had been begging for him to stop for the past ten minutes, not knowing what else to do other than watch her brother destroy his bedroom.

picture frames had been shattered, glass scattered across the floor. he had thrown his lamp at a nearby wall, shattering the ceramic base. the room had turned into a hazard quickly, uninviting to anybody that didn’t have shoes on. 

he grabbed the next thing he could reach, not taking a moment to look at it or think if it was something that he wanted to keep. he didn’t care about anything in his room right now, his vision blurred by tears and his throat scratchy from screaming at the top of his lungs. 

“rafe, don’t throw that. rafe! y/n gave that to you!” rafe stopped then, letting sarah’s words register in his mind. 

his arm lowered, eyes locked onto the golf cart in his hand. it had been a joke originally. you thought it was funny that they sold toy golf carts and bought one for rafe as an ‘i saw this and thought of you’ gift. 

you didn’t expect him to put it on his nightstand beside a photo of the two of you. his favorite picture of the two of you. it was at midsummers, your head tucked underneath his chin as the two of you swayed back and forth. he was looking down at you with eyes full of adoration and a smile soft enough to make just about anybody’s heart melt. 

rafe’s chest caved in then, sobs racking through his body as he fell to his knees, unaware of the pain from glass cutting into his skin. sarah had ran over to him as quickly as she could while simultaneously trying to avoid shards of glass. 

“i need her, sarah.” sarah’s heart slammed against her chest at the desperation in his voice. she had never seen rafe like this, and she didn’t know how she was meant to help. 

“it’s going to be okay, rafe.”

“no it isn’t sarah. she’s gone. i’m still in love with her and she’s gone.” 

Baby you look happier, you do I knew one day you'd fall for someone new But if he breaks your heart like lovers do Just know that I'll be waiting here for you

the constant ache eventually dissipated. there had still been something missing from rafe’s heart, but it didn’t hurt as much. it didn’t pain him to think about you, or see pictures of you online.  

however, the sight of you with another person’s arm wrapped securely around you would never get easier. 

at the end of the day, rafe knew you looked happy, and that’s all he truly wanted. he had bribed sarah to ask how you truly were, and when she came back with only good news for you and bad news for rafe, he knew he had to let go. 

sure, he’d always love you, and he knew there was a part of you that would always love him, but he had to stop living in a world where you’d inevitably fall back into his arms at the first inconvenience in your new relationship. 

truth be told, you’d never be able to love a person the same way you loved rafe cameron. things weren’t always pretty, but there ws love behind everything the two of you did. you wouldn’t be able to experience that love with anyone else, and you weren’t sure you wanted to. 

there would always be a place for the other in your hearts, and that was exactly why rafe blocked your path on the way to the restrooms on the beach. he had seen you step away from your new beau for the first time all day, and he was going to act on it. 

“hi rafe.” you held a smile, and your voice dripped with a knowing tone that made rafe smile back at you. 

“hi.” you raised both of your eyebrows at the short answer, expecting him to pour out a long heartfelt speech to you if given the chance. “i just wanted to say hi and make sure you’re doing well.” 

you laughed softly and nodded. you were happy but you couldn’t ignore there was a piece of your heart missing. you knew exactly where it was, lodged into the hands of the boy standing mere inches away from you. 

“i’m good, rafe, thank you.” he nodded again, surprised you hadn’t tried to walk off yet. 

“that’s good, i’m glad to hear that.” you nodded again, about to tell him you should head to the bathroom like you originally had planned before he was speaking again. “i just wanted to let you know that i’m glad to see you happy, it’s nice.” 

you were even more confused now, not expecting rafe to say anything nice about the fact that you were with somebody that wasn’t him. 

“but, if he ever breaks your heart, just know that i’ll be here, waiting to patch it back up.” he gave you a final smile before walking past you, lightly bumping your shoulder in his stride. 

you stood there, left with the confusion of rafe cameron’s words and your feelings. you couldn’t ignore the thud in your chest at the confession, but you also couldn’t ignore the voice in your head that reminded you of how things ended between you and rafe. 

were you happier without rafe?

-

obx taglist: @rafej-cambanks @sportygal55 @diverdcwn @maybankiara @mdlyncline @dpaccione @dontjinx-it @popeheywards @solllaris​

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Time After Time (The Eighties Blasts Collection, Part 1.)

Description: Jim Hopper died as a hero. But with that, one certain problem rises up - who will now lead the cops of Hawkins? Hopper thought of that - he decided to write a letter, naming his niece, nineteen-year-old student of Indianapolis police academy, Y/N Hopper as a sheriff deputy in a letter. But anybody in the town doesn't have a clue that being a cop in Hawkins is way more dangerous than it might seem.

NOTICE: This is an AU where Hopper had a brother which he doesn’t talk to, but still has a great relationship with his niece (more like father-daughter relationship). Nothing else would be changed.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Hopper!Reader (eventually) - the story is more driven by the relationships in the gang.

A/N: Every chapter will probably be named after one ICONIC 80s song because I am trash for them. Also, I will call Johnathan John bcs I am sick of writing such a long name over and over again.

Warnings: Grief, losing a loved one, bad family background for the reader, Will, Johnathan and Joyce leaving Hawkins.

Word count: 3.7 K (Sorry guys, I had fun)

Tagging: x

Master list: The Eighties Blast Collection

Try to ask your parents about living in the '80s. Or no, you don't have to ask them at all - they would definitely tell you that it was way easier, better and safer back then. Maybe they would be right if you don't remind them about Doug Clark and Carol Bundy for example. Serial killers aren't such things in our age.

But there was one particular town in Indiana where it wasn't exactly a pleasure to live during the '80s. There was like... Everything from novels and movies had happened there - strange disappearances of children, mutates crawling from another dimension, possessed shirtless white boy with a mullet running around, kidnapping people and basically killing the; even murders bated by U.S. government and experiments on people.

It was a true science-fiction to say at least. 

What was the town’s name? Hawkins. Hawkins, Indiana with a population of thirty thousand people - may be more or less, nobody exactly knew since such a crazy shit was happening out there.

Your beloved uncle Jim, to which you went every holiday for the whole two months, has lived there since forever, except for his rather short time in New York - and you found your way to love the city as well. The people there were always the same - same shopkeepers, same employees in the restaurants, same stores and groceries. You dreamt about working alongside Jim since you were just a little kid. While other girls wanted to be princesses and astronauts, you just wanted to be a cop.

So it hit you when you were in your room at the police academy, listening to George Michael and read a magazine, laying down on the bed. At your nineteen, you were one of the best cadets that ever got into the police academy before reaching the age of 21. Jim was so proud that he cried when you called him.

But when the sergeant who led your training called your name through the silent halls, you knew that something had to happen. And when you sat down behind the desk, looking her in the face, you knew it isn't anything nice. 

And when she told you, oh boy, you couldn't but chuckle unbelievably. No, you weren't happy or amused with what sergeant Brown told you - but you couldn't believe it. 

“Jim Hopper is dead? Is it... For sure? That must be a mistake. You're shitting me right now.” - You told her, not even caring about the rule not to curse around your authorities. And Mrs. Brown fully understood what you're going through at the moment, so she didn't say a word about that. Your breath stuck in your throat as you got up to walk around the room. 

“Miss Hopper, I can tell you for certain that I am not joking.” - The woman on the opposite side of the table looked you in the eyes. - “I am sorry for your loss, yet Mrs. Byers sent us an official document where Jim Hopper named you his deputy sheriff, signed and stamped two weeks ago.” - She took the document out of the envelope and looked you in the eyes, putting it in front of himself so she could read from it.

“But I’m too young to be a deputy.” - You mumbled and took the document seriously naming you to the function into your fingers, reading it word after word. Jim was looking forward to having you by his side as a cop - so when he learned about the Russians in a facility below Star Court, he wrote two letters and one document - one for Eleven, a girl who he adopted and you liked, one letter addressed to you and a document naming you the deputy, so he was sure that the Hawkins city is in good hands when he's gone. You never saw the letter though. 

Only the official document made it. 

“And we do acknowledge that. You're too young, you haven't even finished your studies, Miss Hopper, this is a rather unpleasant and special situation. And for that, we will transfer you to an academy nearby Hawkins, so you can finish your training there while you will be helping at the police department.” - Mrs. Brown smiled at you a bit. - “We also acknowledge that you loved your uncle and to continue with his legacy means everything to you. Hawkins department is out of policemen anyway.” 

---

So it was done. Your grief over Jim was deep and it took too long for you to acknowledge that he won’t come to his cabin hidden in the woods a small while from the big oak next to the road to Denfield, just fifteen minutes away from Hawkins. 

When you told the locals about the cabin, it was in a horrendous state - the windows were missing, there were holes in the ceiling, the door were broken apart and... It was a hellhole. It needed a lot of repairing and almost everything was broken inside, including almost all of the furniture, but you managed somehow. 

Especially the broken windows and broken ceiling would cost a fortune if there wasn't for the good people of Hawkins who collected money and old, non-used things from their homes. They started one month before you came so it was almost done when you were about to roll into the town - but you could do the rest by yourself.

You let Hopper's old armchair just in the place where it always was, in his trail, and you left El’s room untouched as well, you only cleaned it up. People from the town were helping you with the renovations by all kinds of small gifts, ranging from canned and normal food to shampoo, helping you paint and paper it from the inside, giving you their old equipment like the TV or a refrigerator, even a VHS player. 

On the day when you came back to Hawkins in an old Chevy from the 70s’, with all your things packed in boxes stored in your car’s trunk, you immediately went to Joyce’s house. Joyce was something like your auntie - you, Nancy Wheeler, her son Jonathan and Steve Herrington always played by the woods she had behind their house. She always made you the best cupcakes, played with you, talked to you and when you were too caught up in playing, she called you to have lemonade or some snacks - but that was too long ago for you to even properly remember.

You remembered only small bits from your evenings at the Byers' house, but the feeling of Joyce is a nice, calm and sweet person always remained inside your head.

Once, all of you were only kids and you were in Hawkins only for two to three weeks every summer - so, naturally, your friendships with the old party didn't exactly last in the form it was ten years ago. All of you got into puberty and since you were studying the police academy, getting there after the senior year of your high school, you didn't really hear much about any of them. 

Plus, after you left Hawkins, you found yourself new friends in New York, so... It was no wonder, really. Everyone was just living their life the best way they could.

Although, when you heard that Joyce and her boys are you about to leave Hawkins for Maine, you tried to speed everything up only to tell her your goodbye before she actually goes away. When you got out of the car, 99 Luftballons by Nena practically screaming from Chevy's radio, you could only see a half-full moving truck and a load of kids out there. 

At least, you weren't that late, were you?

You could recall some of them - like Eleven, a girl living with Jim who you got to know the spring of 84’ when you got released for a weekend lasting holiday to celebrate Jim’s birthday. She was cool as fuck, having some kind of psionic abilities. Jim almost killed both of you when he found out that she had shown you some tricks, but you found that extremely cool. You two had built a pretty good and strong connection over the course of your visits at Hopper's.

You were able to recall Mike Wheeler and Will Byers as well since you knew their siblings - and these boys just couldn't be more similar to Jon and Nance. But there were a few kids you didn't have a single idea who they might be.

“I’m here to help. But I’m late, I guess.” - You leaned into the doorframe and smiled a bit at Joyce’s back. She was running around the whole house cluelessly and tried to pack while the others were doing the actual job. She looked at you standing there in an old flannel shirt and cool jeans which can be bought only in cities or big malls. You looked... Certainly not happy, tired, your eyes red from crying, but good and fine as hell. - “Guess you can say that I am a Hopper, right?” - You smiled as she walked to you to give you a tight, motherly hug, humming into your ear. 

“You are so big now. I remember you barely reaching my waist, darling.” - She cracked up a bit and you were almost sure that she is about to cry - and if she would, you would be a crying mess as well. You cried almost the whole way to Indiana. You just stopped yourself to cry again? Oh, boy. 

“That happens over time. Guess Jonathan isn't the smallest nor youngest now as well, huh?” - You joked, walking to one of the boxed in the hallway. Just with that, Jon accompanied by Nancy walked into the doorframe, holding another two boxes.

“Someone left a started truck outside and is playing pop blasts... Y/N?” - Jonathan asked unbelievably when you turned around to face him. He looked tired as hell just by the looks, but he still sorta got his rebellious expression, just as you were used to. And Nancy? She was breathtaking now. You almost jumped at both of them to hug them firmly with a giggle. 

The old party was getting back together. 

“I can't believe you're here!” - Nancy laughed to your ear. Both of them had the best childhood memories from the times you were there - like jamming to literally every ABBA or the Rolling Stones song, riding bikes through the neighborhood and just the best fourth of July festivals. - “Also, I'm so sorry about...” 

“I know, I know. It would be nice if you stop reminding me.” - You answered a bit louder than you plan to, so Nancy just shuts up. You were immediately apologizing, but she shook her head with her typical Wheeler smile. She totally got what you’re feeling at the moment, it wasn't even your fault really.

“Wow. I haven’t seen you since... Forever.” - Jonathan took your shoulder to his palm and smiled at you. - “I wish we could just sit down, have a cup of tea and talk about what is going on now.” - Nance agreed with him, leaving you in the hall with panicking Joyce; until another person came by.

“Is that... Is that you?” - A fourteen-year-old girl came there in an old shirt which you knew that belonged to Jim. You immediately softened when you saw the teenager, kneeling down and opening your arms for her. You closed your eyes as El leaned to you and hugged you tightly. 

“Yeah. I know.” - You mumbled into the crook of her neck quietly, letting her put her head on your shoulder as both your palms smoothed her back and her ponytail. She was such a baby girl since the day uncle Jim introduced the two of you. - “Listen up, baby. Let's get moving with the packing. You can introduce me to your friends and your boyfriend, sounds good?” - You got up, drying off her tears as you tried not to cry as well. You needed to make you both occupied.

“I would appreciate if you'd help the boys with Will’s room.” - Joyce looked at the both of you with her hands on her hips. - “Not that I don’t believe them, but I am afraid that Will’s and the other children’s packaging skills aren't exactly on point, if you know what I mean.” 

99 Luftballons subtly changed to Take On Me by A-Ha as it continued to blast through the quiet neighborhood. You and Eleven walked to Will’s room just as Joyce asked you to, leaving Nancy and Jonathan as they were.

And oh boy, there was a kind of war between four boys and a redhead girl going on, tees of every color were flying everywhere as they laughed and ran throughout the back of that house. It made you smile, wishing you could just join along. They were so young and careless and you loved it.

But as soon as they noticed you, an adult standing in the doorframe alongside El, they hid the tees and pants behind their backs and only whispers and giggling could be heard. 

“Joyce was right.” - You stepped in, picking up the clothes from the ground while looking at Will. His haircut wasn't the best and he looking alike Jon when he was a small boy. - “You guys can't pack clothes for shit.” - You mumbled as you watched every one of them.

The redhead watched you without a clue who you could be, but the others knew your face. Not too well, but they had definitely seen you around a few times before. 

“This is Y/N, Hop’s niece.” - El pointed at you and the redhead nodded. Any of the teenagers couldn't understand how could you be related to Hopper in any way - he was the old douche, probably ugly, fat and a really unpleasant person most of the time. But you were young, pretty and seemed to be a really chill person. 

“These are my friends.” - She pointed at the redhead and a boy alongside her. - ”Max and Lucas.” - She pointed at Will and Mike who you knew. - “Mike and Will.” - And then she pointed at a boy with curly hair who was smiling at you and to be honest, scaring you like shit. - “And this is Dustin.” 

“So, who’s the lucky one?” - You smirked at El and the way Mike’s cheeks reddened, you knew that he’s the one. She smiled at you without giving you a proper answer. 

You somehow managed to make the kids pack the things before dismantling the furniture in Will’s room with Jonathan’s help. You two were left alone as the others started to move all the boxes into the truck, having quite the space to talk. 

“So you and Nancy, eh?” - You smiled at him wickedly when you started to dismantle the bed. - “Or was I dreaming?” 

“Yeah. You haven't been in the town for a while. A lot of things have changed.” - Johnathan chuckled in response and handled you the wrench you needed. You rose your eyebrows. 

“You could at least call me. Would that be such a problem, mister Byers?” - You teased back and finally took the head of the bed out. 

“We thought you’re too busy living your best city life and forgot about the villagers. Hopper was updating us about your wellbeing pretty well. Heard you got to ILEA? He was proud as hell.” - Jonathan smiled. 

Yeah. Uncle Jim was the most supportive person on the whole planet when it came to you or El. You were both his little baby girls - and if someone tried to fuck your dreams up, he would be a literal pain in their ass. So, naturally, he spread the news about you studying on ILEA to everyone he actually listened to him. Joyce and Karen Wheeler were throwing with pride, lemme tell you. 

“Yeah. I got to Indianapolis, but they transferred me to the midwest since I have my new job here.” - You sighed and helped him with the wood from the side of the bed. - “Gonna study in a program of correspondence course while having my practicum here. Hawkins is apparently in need of fresh cops.”

“No way you're going to be the sheriff. That would make Hop so proud.” - Jonathan smiled at you softly and you smiled back at him. 

“He actually planned on me being the deputy. You really don't have many cops here, eh? Taking in a person who had barely finished their studies? Joke's on you.” - You started to dismantle the wooden legs off the sides. You and Jonathan were actually a good team when it came to manual work.

“We do have cops. But Hopper was the only one who wasn't bribed and actually done his damn job.” - Jon looked at you for a small while. You will be a good cop. He could feel it.

“It will be quite a change from Indianapolis.” - You sighed with a shy smile.

“I was wondering what you’re doing in the evening?” - Jonathan asked all of a sudden, his question followed by your furrowed face. - “We’ll be gone, but I don't want Nancy to be alone. If you want to... Accompany her, I will be glad.” 

“Oh, sure. If she would like to, no problem. We can borrow some VHS tapes to watch movies in the evening or whatever. Mrs. Wheeler gave me their old player.” - You nodded. There was one question which was making you furrow, so you leaned over to Jonathan, making him stop the work, quietly touching his shoulder. 

“I need to ask you something. It’s pretty... Personal to me.” - You exhaled loudly and your body shook completely on its own. 

You were all emotional about Jim passing away and even if it was more than a month since you got the news, you still fought the urge to cry. You tried to shake it off as Jonathan caught your palm in his as well. - “How did uncle Jim die? Nobody wants to tell me, they only told me that he had passed away. Was he shot? Or...” - You curled into a ball and closed your eyes. Jonathan looked around the room and gulped.

You didn't have to know this. You didn't need to know any of this. He wasn't feeling good at that moment and you could feel it. He didn't want to give you an answer, because he somehow felt that it would only hurt you even more.

“All I will tell you is that Hopper died like a real hero. That man might be a pain in everyone's ass, but he sacrificed everything to save the others. He saved all of us and I think that he saved everyone in this town. But if I would tell you, you would think that I’m crazy.” - Jon said quietly, interrupted by Joyce standing in the door. She clearly didn't hear much, since she didn't have any idea you even asked about Hopper. She was smiling, as usual, and she was really glad that the bed was dismantled.

“Oh, honey.” - She kneeled down to you and Jonathan, nuzzling you to her side, ruffling your hair, kissing the temple of your head gently. She was a true mom to everyone - even for a girl that spent only two months in Hawkins during the summer holiday. Even to a girl she hadn't seen in years.

She was something you never had, so you leaned into the touch of her small, warm palms, calming words and slow, caressing movements. Then you sat back up, smiling at her, drying your tears off.

“Can you get it to the truck?” - Joyce looked at Jonathan as he stood up. He nodded without any further thinking. 

“I need to give Y/N something. I talked to El and we agreed on it.” - She smoothed your cheek and kissed the other one tenderly. So, you followed her thought the empty house, thinking about your memories.

You could name the exact spot where Steve almost killed himself when he jumped off Jonathan’s bed onto the heating, hitting his forehead into the heater. You could exactly see their old sofa where you braided Nancy’s hair and you could say where the dinner table always stood. Hopper always sat there while he drank coffee with Joyce and her man. Lonnie was really fine... At times, before he left. He was a douchebag overall, though. 

The sweet memories made you smile again until you approached the gang consisting of children only standing there in a circle with Eleven in the middle, holding a box named ’HOPPER’ in big, dark green letters. It was almost like a cult initiation. You were sure it was one.

“I want you to have it.” - El said quietly and put the box on the ground, opening it. It was an old police uniform; the one which belonged to Hopper. It was dirty and smelled pretty bad, still having his sheriff’s badge on it. You took the shirt into your palms, caressing it between your fingers as other tears rolled down your cheeks. Then you looked at El. 

“Are you sure, baby girl?” - You asked and tried to contain your emotions as everyone was watching you with a sad face. El slowly gulped, getting on her knees as well, but then she nodded. She looked happy at that moment, contained with happy memories at Hopper.

“She wanted to keep it, but wouldn’t be for too much on use since it would only lay in the cabinet. You can wear it for work. Maybe it is too big for you and you will definitely need to wash it, but it has your name on it already, see?” - Joyce pointed at the small golden badge with Hopper on it in black letters. You leaned your head into her shoulder. A true legacy. - “I know he would want you to keep it. It will look good on you after you wash it.” 

“If you say so, Joyce.” - You smiled a bit, taking the box from El’s hands, fetching it into the trunk of your car. You stayed there until the very end, looking at the kids saying their last goodbyes. It made you cry as well, it was so sweet. 

Even Joyce hide behind the truck to have a little moment to herself. She hated when she saw her boys or their friends sad and crying. Joyce Byers was just the most amazing woman and mom you had ever met.

Even if you didn't expect it at all, you got hugs as well. The one from Will was a shy, quick one with that shy boy’s smile painted on his lips. Jonathan couldn't be as much different from his brother as he was - this boy held you firmly for a few seconds, he actually hugged you so tight you couldn't breathe for a second and screamed loudly with laughter. 

“Better watch it here or I will come back and kick your ass.” - He said jokingly, patting your shoulder. You opened your mouth and laughed too, hitting him gently as well. - “Sure. Keep on dreaming, Byers, because that's not going to happen.” - You patted his shoulder as well, bringing him in for one last quick hug - then you left him, so he could say goodbye to Nancy.

Eleven came to you after she kissed the soul out of Mike’s tall and slim body - she hugged you tightly. You maybe weren't exactly the closest, but you were something like sisters from one point of view. 

That was the magic Jim Hopper could do when he wanted to. He was bringing people together. He brought El and Mike so close he couldn't stand him anymore. But your bond would make him happy.

“If something, you can always call me.” - You looked her in the eyes as she continued crying. She was such a lovely girl. - “I know you would rather talk to Max, but I’m here too. I’ll be waiting for a call at Hop’s old number, okay?” - You asked and she nodded, unable to speak in words. But her tears were giving you an idea of what the was feeling. 

“And we repaired your old room. You will be always welcomed in that house.” - You kissed her forehead, snuggling her closer again. 

When they were leaving, you stood there with Nancy and the remaining kids, watching the cars leave, not even waving. Most of you were still crying your eyes out, so you were too dazzled to actually say goodbye. Just minutes after the cars disappeared, you looked at Nancy. 

“Need a ride home? The kids are taking the bikes apparently.” - You asked and took the keys to your car out of your pocket. Nancy nodded, smiling at you with the typical Wheeler smile. - “Also, if you want to, you can stay the night at my place. You would feel less alone and the cabin would feel less scary.” - You smiled at her when you both were sitting in the car. 

“I guess so. It would be fine to talk to you after such a long time. I miss our summer adventures.” -  Nancy said shyly and you stopped yourself from starting the car, looking her in the eyes, holding the steering wheel in your palms. 

“I do too. So, off to the supermarket and VHS store it is, I guess.” - You looked into the mirror showing you the space behind the car and started the old Chevy’s motor. 

[gamerwoo]

Jihoon: The Last Of The Real Ones

Characters: Jihoon x reader (gender neutral)

Genre/warnings: superhero/superhuman au, angst, fluff, mild violence, blood, mentions of kidnapping and torture

Word count: 6,406

Summary: ‘Cause you’re the last of a dying breed. Write our names in the wet concrete. I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me. I’m here in search of your glory, there’s been a million before me. That ultra kind of love you never walk away from. You’re just the last of the real ones.

a/n: this is inspired by The Last Of The Real Ones by Fall Out Boy. I also wrote reader to be taller than Jihoon bc that’s just how I pictured them, but I tried to keep it gender neutral :] 

Seventeen Song Series

Supers were hard as hell to come by. They typically stayed in hiding due to all of the people in the world that would kill to get their hands on one to shape and mold it into whatever kind of weapon they wanted. They were so hard to find, in fact, that people had thought they were completely wiped out or something.

Jihoon had known better. He knew they weren’t completely gone because he wasn’t gone. But the world didn’t need to know that, so he continued to live his life under the radar. He went to college like a normal kid, he walked to and from the bus stop and took public transport to school and then back home, and he did his shopping while keeping to himself. To the world, Jihoon was average, and he had yet to find anybody else like him.

Until he met you.

Jihoon was walking home one night from the bus stop, his backpack hanging off his shoulders as he kept his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He didn’t like making eye contact with people, and he didn’t like letting his eyes wander to see what other people were doing. He just liked to keep to himself and mind his own business, so his brown eyes stayed on the ground.

“Get off me!” he heard a voice grunt off to his right.

As an instinctive reaction, his eyes flashed up before they found an alleyway off to his right a few feet away. His feet continued to bring him forward before he was peering down the alley, just wanting to glance to make sure it wasn’t anything dangerous before carrying on his way. However, he saw a man pushing himself up against a girl, the girl’s back against the brick siding of the building behind her as she tried to shove him away from her.

While Jihoon did like to mind his own business, he knew this was a situation he couldn’t just ignore. He was about to shrug off his backpack and go intervene when he saw a shadow drop down from one of the rooftops, landing on the top of a dumpster with a bang. The person landed on the ball of one foot and their other knee, one hand holding them up. It was such a stereotypical superhero stance straight out of a cartoon, and yet, Jihoon couldn’t help but think it looked damn cool.

The shadowed figure looked up, eyes glowing a dusty lilac color that was easily visible in the darkness of the night. The girl gasped, and even the man started to back away. None of them had ever seen anything like that before, but Jihoon recognized eyes like that. He saw his own in a mirror a few times when he tested his power. His glowed a grey-ish color, though, but he was still used to the weird glow.

The figure raised their bare hand, palm out to the man before pushing away from them. Without even touching the man, he went flying back, his back hitting the wall of the opposite building as the air left his body with a huff. He collapsed onto the ground as the figure casually slid off of the dumpster, standing protectively in front of the girl.

Now that they were completely standing, Jihoon could see they were dressed in tight, black clothing with a black mask that covered half their face. Their hair was pulled back out of their face and tucked into a hood that was tight around their face, and he could barely make out their silhouette in the dark alleyway. Jihoon was surprised by their attire because they looked like they were trying to be some sort of ninja.

“Go,” they said over their shoulder to the girl, nodding their head toward the opening of the alley.

“Thank you, Void!” the girl said breathlessly before running off in the direction of safety, pushing passed Jihoon.

The person -- Void -- made eye contact with Jihoon, the glow in their eyes dulling before they swiftly kicked the man without even looking as he ran at them before they quickly lept back onto the dumpster, jumped to reach the fire escape, and made their way back to the rooftop where they disappeared.

Maybe he wasn’t the only super after all. He just wasn’t sure who that person was, but he wanted to find them again.

-

You were a superhero of sorts -- the city had deemed you one, anyway. News headlines, pictures, articles all about you -- you were like some sort of real life Batman with the way you hid in the shadows and only came out to defeat bad guys. Nobody even knew what you looked like, but they could recognize the all-black outfit you wore.

Jihoon had learned all of this that night when he couldn’t fall asleep. His mind was racing with thoughts of this other super that willingly showed themselves to normal people. But now he understood -- you were there to protect them, and they recognized you as a friend and hero. He had thought the ‘superhero’ idea had all but died out with the supers’ hope of fitting in, but here you were to shine some sort of beacon of hope -- not necessarily for Jihoon because there was no way he was going out of his way to be noticed when he tried so hard to stay under the radar, but for other supers that might be out there.

But the fact you were some sort of vigilante that protected people in danger gave Jihoon an idea on how he’d see you again. He had questions for you that needed answers. It was almost an odd instinct that Jihoon had to try to befriend this other super since he was all alone.

Maybe that was it -- he felt lonely.

So Jihoon did something really stupid the next night. He went out to a bar not too far from his apartment and started a fight with the first big dude he saw outside. The guy clearly had a couple beers in him, and he was leaning up against the side of the building smoking a cigarette. Jihoon went right up to him, kicked him in the shin, and then punched him in the mouth when the guy was bent over.

That explained why you found Jihoon the way you did. This poor, tiny boy had blood running from his nose and down his lips, and already had a bruised eye. You thought this was just some big, drunk guy pounding on somebody significantly smaller than him, but it was actually just Jihoon causing trouble just for the hell of it -- well, technically to see you, but still. So you ran to jump in, pushing the man off before you stood protectively in front of the smaller boy that had fallen to the sidewalk. Your eyes glowed their soft purple as you prepared for a fight. Thankfully, the man’s tipsy state had him terrified of your eyes, screaming that you were a ghost before he ran off down the street.

You turned to the boy still on the ground behind you. He looked completely harmless with wide brown eyes and a baby-like face as he looked up on you. Actually, he looked straight-up innocent -- adorable, even. You weren’t sure why some giant man with tattoos would beat on somebody like this.

You crouched down to examine him, your head tilting to one side as your eyes went back to their normal color. Jihoon was in awe of how close you were, unable to think of what to do or say next.

“You okay?” you asked, your voice slightly muffled by your mask.

Hearing your voice speaking to him, Jihoon came back to his senses, shrugging as he didn’t want to come off as weak to you.

“I guess so,” he mumbled.

“Here,” you sighed as you stood up, holding a hand out to help him up, “I’ll get you home. You look like you’re in pretty bad shape.”

While Jihoon would’ve declined the offer from anybody else, he took your hand and let you pull him to his feet. He had to look up at you to see your eyes, and you almost chuckled because this guy looked like you could carry him all the way home without a problem. But instead, you moved to stand beside him, motioning that you wanted to put an arm around his waist.

“May I?”

Jihoon just shrugged, lifting his arm so you could get yours around him. He rested his hand on your shoulder closest to him before you started to help him limp home. You had to bite your tongue to not ask if you could just carry him on your back since it would be faster.

After a few minutes of complete silence other than Jihoon’s soft grunts and hisses of pain, he finally asked, “So...you’re...Void…?”

You chuckled with a nod, “Yeah, I guess so -- that’s what everybody calls me.”

“Because of all the black you wear?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Your power doesn’t even have anything to do with a void.”

“What are they gonna call me? Force?” you snorted before turning serious. “Wait, that’s not bad…”

“You seem to really like this superhero thing…” he noticed with a grumble. He wasn’t sure why that annoyed him. Maybe because he was afraid of having a power while you were almost worshiped for it.

“Enough about me,” you decided, looking down at him. “What’s your name?”

He stared back up at you in silence for a moment before finally breaking. “Jihoon.”

“Alright, Jihoon,” you began, “what’s a kid like you doing getting beat up outside a bar by a guy like that?”

“I’m not a kid,” he stated, a harshness to his voice. “I’m an adult -- I was born in ‘96.”

“Sorry,” you laughed softly, “I didn’t mean it like you were a literal kid.”

“Oh… Sorry, I’m just used to the jokes like that since I’m...y’know…”

“Height doesn’t mean shit,” you scoffed. “Take that guy outside the bar for instance -- he was taller than both of us and still ran away.”

“I think any normal person would run away if they were up against a super,” Jihoon figured before he was gesturing to the building you were walking up to with his other hand. “This is my building.”

You turned to help him up the steps, mumbling to yourself, “I should clean you up and stuff.”

Jihoon had to bite his tongue to not let out an automatic response like ‘I can do it myself’. He still wanted his answers, and to do that, he’d need to talk to you in private. If he had to let it be known he was a super, too, he wasn’t going to do it in public. He refused to have anybody know what he really was but he had to gain your trust.

When you got up to the door, Jihoon unlocked it before you helped him into the elevator. He pushed the button for his floor and the two of you continued to stand there, your arm around him while he kept his hand on your shoulder for support. Standing in a silent elevator alone made you feel awkward suddenly, like you were too close. You weren’t sure why.

Finally, the elevator dinged softly before the doors opened. Jihoon hobbled out and turned to go to his end of the hallway before he stopped at his door and unlocked that. He pushed the door open and you helped him inside, turning on the lights by the door. He kicked off his shoes so you did the same before you asked him where his bathroom was. He led you to it before he leaned back against the sink with a groan.

“Do you have a first aid kit?” you asked, looking around the small bathroom since you didn’t want to be rude and just dig through his stuff.

“No,” he chuckled, dabbing at the blood on his upper lip with the side of his index finger, “but I have peroxide and cotton balls under the sink, and bandaids in the cupboard behind the mirror.”

“You just sit. You shouldn’t be standing since you were limping most of the way here. I’ll get everything.”

Jihoon moved to sit on the toilet seat cover while you got down to get the materials you needed. Then you grabbed the bandaids and set everything on the floor by Jihoon’s foot before you got on your knees in front of him and gingerly held his chin in your hand, tilting his head toward the light to get a better look at his face. Thankfully, the shadows outside definitely seemed to make him look a lot worse than he was.

As you examined him, Jihoon couldn’t help but examine you -- at least, what little of you he could see.

“Do you still have to wear all that?” he wondered.

Honestly, you’d forgotten you still had your hero gear on. It was actually pretty comfortable and breathable so you didn’t mind it. But you weren’t about to suddenly take it off in a stranger’s house. There was no way you were going to expose your identity to somebody you just met, no matter how cute they looked.

“Yeah,” you replied plainly.

Jihoon went silent for a moment before quietly saying, “I’ve never met a super before. I didn’t even know there were any in the city. I guess I was too caught up in school and keeping my head down that I didn’t notice the news.”

“You’re that oblivious, huh?” you chuckled as you began to soak a cotton ball in peroxide and clean the blood off his face and out of the small cuts on his face.

He sucked in a sharp breath at the sting, and you quickly began apologizing repeatedly.

“It’s alright,” he coughed, trying to just breathe through the pain.

You stopped, giving him a little time to relax. You tossed the used cotton ball in the trash before looking back up at him again.

“For what it’s worth...I’ve never met anybody like me, either,” you admitted quietly, your eyes casting downward. “Honestly, I’m starting to think they’ve all been wiped out or something. I know they’re all probably just hiding but it’s getting kind of...discouraging, I guess.”

“Lonely,” Jihoon offered.

You nodded, “Lonely, yeah…”

“I know what you mean…”

You looked up at Jihoon again, his gaze looking down and off to the side. You cocked your head to one side, “What, do you not have any friends or something? No family?”

“No, I mean…” Jihoon sighed as he trailed off.

His eyes hesitantly met yours before you saw them slowly start to glow to life, their dark brown turning a grey color that reminded you of cloudy skies. Your jaw dropped as your breath left you, realizing that there was only one explanation for this: Jihoon was like you.

You were at a loss for words. Jihoon didn’t show you what his power was, and he didn’t say anything. He just looked at you with his glowing eyes, his expression unreadable. But he had no idea what you were thinking, either, with your mask covering your expression. All he could see was the shock and wonder in your eyes.

Slowly, Jihoon reached forward. Your eyes didn’t leave his even though you knew he was reaching for the hood that was secured to your head. He slowly pushed it away, letting it fall to your shoulders. Then his index fingers hooked into the black mask and slowly tugged down, waiting to see if you’d stop him.

But you didn’t.

You watched as Jihoon looked your face over, his expression still unreadable. But inside, he was beyond happy to finally see the face of somebody like him. He wasn’t alone now if you trusted him enough to let him see you for who you really were. But he was a super, too, so how could you not trust him?

“What’s your name?” he asked quietly, his eyes dulling back to brown.

“_____,” you replied just above a whisper.

He nodded, repeating, “_____…”

-

“You seem a lot more chipper since our last session.”

You didn’t even look at your therapist, staring out the window that overlooked the city instead. Her office was on a higher floor of a skyscraper in the middle of the city, so you always loved the view. It wasn’t uncommon for you to prefer looking out the window rather than at Dr.Yoo.

“Do I?” you asked, not really paying much attention to her observation, but you were curious as to how you gave that away. You didn’t think you looked or acted any different since two weeks ago.

Dr.Yoo only hummed in response as she observed you before she asked, “What caused the change?”

You shrugged, “I made a friend.”

“You did?” she smiled, seeming genuinely happy about this turn of events. Dr.Yoo was aware that you lived alone and didn’t speak to many people, so this was improvement in her eyes. “When did this happen?”

“Last week.”

“How’d you meet them?”

You wanted to go on and on about Jihoon. You wanted to tell her everything you’d learned about him since that day -- his personality, what he looked like, the way he made you feel, and how he finally made you feel like you weren’t alone in the world. But you knew you couldn’t reveal any of that. Jihoon didn’t like people knowing too much about him, and that was something you learned almost immediately after the two of you silently agreed to be friends.

“Fate.”

-

Months had gone by since then. You visited Jihoon on a regular basis, and he was more than happy to have you around -- even if he didn’t directly show it. But you quickly picked up on the small ways he showed affection, like remembering little details or buying your favorite takeout or the biggest way he tried to protect you.

“_____, don’t go.”

Those words left his mouth almost every night you decided to hang out at Jihoon’s -- which really was almost every night. Whenever you had to go out looking for any signs of trouble, Jihoon would immediately insist you stay -- even stay the night if you had to.

Tonight was the same conversation.

The thing was, the more he got to know you -- you, not Void -- the more he fell for you. Yes, the fact you were the only other super he knew had to do with it, but it was also just you -- what was inside you. You as a person was what really pushed him over the edge, and he was falling, falling, falling for a superhero that couldn’t save him from it.

That was why he wanted you to quit being Void. He knew it was dangerous. It wasn’t even just the ‘bad guys’ out there, it was the real bad guys -- the people who wanted to get ahold of a super and use them for themselves. He knew with you being public about yourself, that would make you a huge target. Hell, you could’ve been being tracked. He just wanted to keep you safe.

But he didn’t want to tell you about the people who were the real danger. He didn’t want to scare you, so he kept it to himself.

He knew about them. He was captured by them before.

“Jihoon, I promise I’ll be back in a couple hours,” you insisted, already grabbing your bag of clothes from where you left it by the door.

“A lot can happen in a couple hours,” Jihoon stated, standing up from the couch. He stayed in one spot but his eyes followed you around his apartment. “You know I’ll have no idea where you are if anything happens.”

You just scoffed, slinging your bag over your shoulder as you made your way to his bathroom, “Remember that time you got beat up outside a bar? How are you going to protect me?”

You entered the bathroom and shut the door, so Jihoon walked up and stood right outside the door while you changed.

“What if you run into somebody that you can’t handle?” he asked.

“I can handle anything,” you promised from the other side of the door. “With my power, I can keep people as far away from me as I want.”

“Until you meet somebody who is prepared to take on your power.”

“Like who?”

Them.

The door flew open and Jihoon looked up. You were pulling your hood up, tucking stray pieces of hair back into it. Your mask was pulled down under your chin as you smirked down at him, both eyebrows raised like you were still expecting an answer to your question.

He sighed, running a hand through his silver hair, “I’m just saying, _____ -- we’re not the only supers and maybe somebody out there has your anti-power or something.”

“Maybe it’s you,” you joked, your expression turned almost fond. “You still haven’t shown it to me.”

Jihoon looked away, grumbling, “I told you, I don’t like using it…”

You just chuckled, brushing passed him as you pulled your mask up to cover the lower half of your face. As you reached the window where the fire escape was, you pushed it open before turning back to look at Jihoon.

“I’ll be fine,” you promised him, giving him a serious look. You knew he cared deeply for you, and returned that, but you also knew that this was what you were made to do. “I always am, aren’t I?”

Jihoon didn’t look at you while he stayed silent, and you thought he wasn’t going to say anything, but he finally sighed and softly said, “I know you think this city needs you...but I need you more.”

You froze, unsure of what to say. Jihoon was more of a shower -- a tsundere one at that -- than a teller, so the fact he openly told you how he felt was almost shocking. It definitely took you off guard, that was for sure. But you were still a little confused by his statement.

“Why…?” you wondered, though the word was barely heard.

You could tell it took all of Jihoon’s courage to make his eyes meet yours. He took a couple breaths, trying to build up the guts to admit it.

“I love you.”

Again, you were surprised, but this time, you weren’t at a loss for words. You knew exactly what you wanted to say.

“Jihoon--”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he said quickly, turning away from you completely. “I know you’re still going to leave either way, so just go.”

You decided to just drop the subject as you swung one leg out the window before the other.

“I’ll be back before sunrise at the latest,” you promised.

And then you were quickly climbing the fire escape, making almost no noise with how stealthy you’d learned to be. Still, Jihoon knew when you were gone, making your way to the rooftop.

Jihoon never bothered closing the window. He always left it open for when you came back because he’d always find you crashed on his couch in the morning. But each time he left it open, he always wondered if this time would be the time he’d wake up to an empty couch.

-

Never once did Jihoon stop thinking about you ever since he met you -- especially after getting closer with you. You had become his top priority, and he made sure to always look out for you. His main priority was your safety, and even after his confession last week that was never brought up again, he put that at the back of his mind in favor of protecting you.

The fact he was so inconspicuous came in handy. He may have kept to himself, but he always paid close attention. So he could easily recognize the ‘incognito’ men who were wandering the busy streets of the city, all mumbling into earpieces as their sunglass-covered eyes observed the area. Thankfully, none of them seemed to pay him any mind. It had been years since he escaped, and he made sure to keep his appearance different than how he looked as a teenager -- which was easier since he’d grown up since then. But he knew that meant they were here for someone else.

There was just one problem: he didn’t know where you were.

-

Shops and food stands lined both sides of the street. It seemed almost like a slightly larger alleyway, but you liked the aesthetic of it. Glowing signs lit up above the street as you walked, your phone in one hand as you slightly readjusted your bomber jacket with the other.

Ever since Jihoon’s confession, you’d been trying to figure out how to bring it up again. Jihoon was supposed to be on his way to class when you decided to go for a walk to do some thinking. You weren’t sure just exactly how to tell him you felt the same. You didn’t want to just blurt it out but you didn’t know how to bring the subject up.

You were brutally pulled from your thoughts when you felt an arm shove against your neck, pushing you up against a nearby food truck. Suddenly, men all dressed in black clothing, bulletproof vests, and helmets were surrounding around you and the man -- who was wearing the same thing -- and aiming black guns at you that looked like something straight out of a crime show. Your phone had dropped to the pavement with your surprise, a gasp barely able to leave your throat.

Some sort of device was held up to your face before a bright light scanned down the upper half of your face. The man in front of you nodded before you heard him declaring that Void was caught.

“W-what’s going on?” you asked, your voice shaking more than you would’ve liked.

“You’re coming with us.” he stated, trying to turn you around.

You still weren’t sure what was going on, but it didn’t feel right. You had an awful feeling about this situation, and your fight or flight instincts started to kick in as alarms screaming danger were going off in your head.

“Get away from me!” you screamed, your eyes squeezed shut as you shoved away from yourself.

The man stumbled backwards as you opened your eyes, showing that they were glowing their dusty lilac color. You held one palm out to the man before flicking it off to the side, expecting to see him fly through the air in the direction you sent him.

But nothing happened.

Guns cocked, and you flinched as you went into panic mode. Why weren’t your powers working? Who were these people? Why did they want to take you and what did they want to do with you?

“Void, if you don’t come with us calmly, we will shoot,” the man warned, drawing his own gun.

But you wouldn’t go. You were afraid because you weren’t sure who they were, but they definitely seemed bad. Not only that, but you wouldn’t just leave Jihoon behind. You wouldn’t leave him wondering what happened to you, and you wouldn’t let him be lonely again.

You tried again, this time moving a food cart and throwing it into a few of the men to the left of you. People nearby were already hurrying away from the scene when they saw all the guns, but now they were screaming because of the chaos erupting.

“Fire!” the man ordered, realizing that you weren’t going down without a fight.

You shrunk back, holding your arms protectively in front of your face as if that would do something. You braced for the pain, your eyes closed as your face turned away. But seconds continued to tick by with nothing happening.

You peeled one eye open, looking around until you saw a shorter figure standing in front of you.

Jihoon had his arms out in front of him, the bullets that flew at you slowing down so much that they seemed suspended in air. He stared down each man with his silver eyes, somehow feeling fearless even though these men were one of the only things that could shoot true terror through him. But it was to protect you, so he’d face a million of them if he had to.

Due to his ability to blend in, it wasn’t hard to follow the men to find you. He apparently had shown up just in time, too.

The men in front of him wore the same shocked expression as you. Until the man in the center came to, shaking his head as realization hit him.

“Subject 217!” he gasped before he was pointing at Jihoon. “Capture him!”

Jihoon wasted no time, grabbing your hand, leaving the bullets suspended until he could tug you away.

“Run!” he ordered before he was dragging you off behind him, running down the strip as quickly as he could.

The shock had you stumbling behind him, but you quickly began pumping your legs as fast as they would allow, keeping up with Jihoon with his hand still gripping yours tightly. He didn’t look back as he bobbed and weaved through the crowd, but you attempted to look over your shoulder to see if they were chasing you. 

Of course they were.

Who were ‘they’, though? And who was Subject 217? And how the hell did Jihoon find you? You had so many questions but you knew now probably wasn’t the time to ask. Still, you figured one question was one that could and should be answered now.

“Who are these people?” you asked, your breathing jagged from running as you looked ahead again.

“The bad guys I was worried about,” Jihoon replied before he turned sharply around a corner, pulling you with him. “I’ll answer later, just keep up.”

You did as he said, dropping the conversation in favor of paying attention to where you were going. Jihoon seemed so sure of what he was doing, so you decided to just trust him and let him go wherever it was he had in mind.

Truthfully, Jihoon didn’t have a set plan, he just knew he had to get you out of there. He planned on just finding a way out of the city that would effectively lose the men after you, and then find somewhere to stay for a short period of time until he could figure shit out. He just had to--

An opening. A public transport bus was just about to close its doors so Jihoon picked up the pace even though his legs were screaming for him to stop. He could hear you panting behind him but he forced you to go faster, refusing to let go of your hand even if you did slow him down a little. But he had to make it onto the bus.

When there was just a sliver of space between the doors, Jihoon shoved his hand through, keeping them open. The bus driver was forced to open the doors so you and Jihoon could get on. The doors closed as he walked down the aisle of the bus, glancing out the window to see the men dressed in the black anti-power vests running out of the alley as the bus pulled away. He knew they’d try to track down the bus and find its route, but for now, you were safe.

He gestured to a free seat, letting you sit on the inside before he sat down beside you. The two of you were still trying to catch your breath, and you were still trying to figure out what the hell happened. But now that both of you were sitting down and resting, you started to feel absolutely fatigued. Maybe questions could wait until later.

Wordlessly, you slid down in the seat and rested your head on Jihoon’s shoulder. He put an arm around your shoulders before he laid his head on top of yours, deciding he’d let you sleep for a little bit while he kept an eye out for anything suspicious. He had to stay awake to think of a plan, anyway.

-

“You can’t do that!”

But he did it. He emptied his savings to buy two tickets to Japan where he insisted the two of you were going to live.

“They’ve been after me before,” he had explained in the motel room the two of you shared that night, “and I relocated to a different city. Now that you’re with me, I need to make sure they don’t find us again. I’ve heard good things about Japan, so why not try it? It’s away from here, at least.”

He knew it would cost him everything he had to buy plane tickets and get a place to stay, but he knew that the two of you could save up again together. So despite you insisting he shouldn’t blow all his money on this plan, that’s exactly what he did.

You felt safe on the plane, and you could tell Jihoon did too because he finally closed his eyes for longer than it took him to blink. But you also decided to use that opportunity to get the answers you wanted, keeping your voices hushed just so nobody would pick up on what you were talking about.

“I’m not completely sure who they are,” he began, his eyes closed as he let his head lay back against the seat, “but I know they’re trying to get supers. I’ve seen and experienced the shit they do to them, and it’s nothing you want to be subjected to. You’d rather die, trust me.”

You frowned thinking about Jihoon going through that, “That bad…?”

He opened one eye to look at you, “It’s like brainwashing but through sadistic tactics.”

“Oh…”

You felt Jihoon’s fingers lace through yours. You could tell he was a bit embarrassed about doing so from the pink tint his cheeks and the tips of his ears got, but he still looked you in your eyes when he spoke, making sure you were completely reassured.

“I’m okay, and we will be okay,” he promised. “They won’t get us -- I’ll make sure of it.”

You sat up a little straighter, figuring this was finally your opening.

“Jihoon?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

His face flushed a deeper red as he tried to hide the wide, happy smile that wanted to spread across his lips. But his eyes still crinkled at the corners, his brown irises twinkling.

“I love you, too. Let’s get some rest before we get to Tokyo, okay?”

You pushed the armrest up so you could lean into him. He kept his hand in yours, resting them in his lap as he put his head on yours and let his eyes close, content that you were not only safe, but you were his.

-

[Two months later]

“You’re even shorter now.”

“Alright, _____, fuck you.”

You giggled as you balanced on the short concrete wall that separated the sidewalk and all the shops from the beach, Jihoon more than a whole foot shorter than you because of this. It was too cold to actually go on the beach, but you and Jihoon decided to go out since neither of you were busy, and the beach was the place he thought to drive to. You were walking along the wall while Jihoon chose to walk beside you on the sidewalk, glancing up at you every so often to make sure you didn’t fall over.

“Get down, you’ll get hurt,” Jihoon scolded. “You’re taller so you have a longer way to fall.”

“Ha-ha,” you deadpanned before jumping down from the wall. Your hand immediately found Jihoon’s on instinct before the two of you were walking again. “Do you wanna go back home?”

“Cold?” he guessed, looking up at you to see your pink cheeks and nose. Even your lips were chapped by now.

“Yeah, kinda,” you nodded as Jihoon slid your intertwined hands into his jacket pocket.

So the two of you went back to his car and made the drive back home. Jihoon played his playlist softly in the background while you looked out the window and admired the views on the way back. He asked how you were feeling which was something he usually did because while he’d had to leave everything behind before, you never had to, and you had to speak to your therapist over the phone now and less often which he knew must’ve been taking some sort of toll on you. He never really knew what you needed Dr.Yoon for other than it had to do with something before he met you, but he also never pried, either.

When you got back to the house, the two of you changed into comfier clothes before you decided to climb into bed, turning in early for the night. Jihoon still had the lamp on the nightstand on as the two of you laid together under the covers, your head on his chest as you looked up at the ceiling. Jihoon and you had jumped on the bed and placed glow-in-the-dark stars on there to mimic the stars that you missed seeing since you lived deep in the city now. You used to be able to explore outside the city when you were back in Korea and went around at night as Void, but you couldn’t do that anymore.

“What’re you thinking?” Jihoon murmured when you stayed silent, fidgeting with his fingers.

“Just basking in the moment, I guess,” you shrugged.

“Really?” he chuckled. “Why? Nothing’s happening.”

“I like just laying with you. I wish we could do it forever.”

“Me too,” he said softly, pressing a kiss to your head.

Jihoon used to hate using his powers, but he was using them little by little now since the two of you moved to Tokyo. Because little did you know that it was moments like these when it was just the two of you, that Jihoon would use his power to slow down time around you, letting the both of you lay in your little own infinity.

[tasedandconfused]

whoops opinions and sass towards @ m/arvel @ e/ndgame  also kind of @ i/nfinity w/ar if we’re honest will be under the cut so don’t look if you don’t wanna see it js

how the r/ussos and whatever writers were interviewed for e/ndgame plan the characters futures:

Character with immense anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, has sacrificed themselves more than enough times already and finally has a life that they’ve been trying to get for years in spite of their trauma and still is one of the most traumatized humans: Let’s kill them because it’s the only sacrifice that makes sense! 

Character who’s had a ton of unseen trauma, been through more than literally everybody else, has finally obtained a found family and done everything possible to ensure the future is successful? Let’s murder them and in interviews state that she didn’t deserve a funeral because she’s a cipher, when we’ve been ignoring their storyline the entire time. Oh yeah, and say that she, who’s spent her entire time in the movies trying to make up for the murders she committed when she was being tortured, abused, manipulated, and forced into a life she never had a choice out of (and, at least comic wise, the one time she did break the rules was in a v consensual relationship w a guy i’m mentioning later who was then shoved on ice for it because he disobeyed orders and fell in love, which we don’t know if it’s actually in the movies or not bc they keep saying they might include it then cut all scenes of them talking)

Characters who’ve been abused by their adoptive father since literally the beginning? Let’s have one of them die for man pain after trying to rationalize the abusive parent and make him a likable villain, bc why the fuck not, let’s have the other one suddenly be more or less forgiving of him for no real reason, then have a second version of her killed because she refused to stop trying to make her abusive father care about her when he wouldn’t! Because who cares about abuse victims right!

A character who’s been traumatized for essentially 90 years, abused, manipulated, had his mind wiped, his head adjusted, who even knows if he had to suffer for his love for another character in the movies bc they erased their entire and extremely important relationship for favor in q/ueerbaiting and pushing all their female characters aside and ignoring them, continuing to force him into further trauma, have him voluntarily go back on ice in spite of the fact he was literally forced to be on ice whenever he misbehaved while they tore apart his mind repeatedly, then, rather than just say that they want him to be his own character awhile longer before taking over the mantle of another character, state that he’s too damaged to take over the mantle because he was kidnapped, tortured, and abused into a role of a mass assassin when he’s been cured of most if not al of the programming and has been trying to heal for the longest time, and every time he tries to get out of fighting he’s forced back into it by his supposed ‘best friend’, and he���s not had a single incident since the programming was removed from his head but apparently he’s still ‘too damaged’ and ‘not good enough’ for the mantle.

I’m not even gonna try to describe everything about l/oki, but having his abuser murder him is kind of more than a little fucked up. Then again, they’re the same people who thought bringing re/d skull back would be a ‘fun and exciting idea’. 

A character who never really had to give up anything, especially now since they decided sending him to his ‘old life’ would be so much better than having him make a new life (which already was gonna be canon, he’s supposed to be living w s/haron according to the writers before the r/ussos had that cut bc they didn’t want emily back and they thought it was ‘too domestic’. and hey, sending him back to a girl he knew for a few months but apparently ‘loved more than anyone else, including the woman he actually fell in love with now, and his two best friends who fucking needed him’ was such a better storyline than letting him make a new life in modern times, not fuck up the past and the universe, and not be able to be held fully accountable for every horrible thing h/ydra did, from infiltrating s/hield to kidnapping and controlling b/ucky, because he already showed by fucking p/eggy that he didn’t care about preserving the t/imeline. he had the opportunity to stop it and chose not to. But hey, he didn’t have to actually suffer at all during the whole movie! Cause apparently he didn’t care that his two best friends died! Or that he fucked over his relationship with one of his other best friends from the comics! Because fun! 

Also, on a slightly unrelated note, there’s one thing that really pisses me off about M/arvel as a whole, that nobody actually cares about but somehow I notice every single time. And no, this has nothing to do with how I personally feel about any of the actors, some I like some I don’t, I’m not specifying who or who, some of these are ethnically and some are religiously, but here’s the thing.

G/weneth P/altrow? J/ewish. Not coming back. We know she’s gonna be referenced in FFH. That’s probably it.  R/obert D/owney Jr? J/ewish. T/ony died. S/carlet J/ohannson? J/ewish. Has her BW movie and is probably done, killed her in what is one of her most canon moments, but in a shitty way and giving shitty excuses. N/atalie P/ortman? Jewi/sh. They basically deleted her from the canon with nothing but a few reused scenes and a few throwaway lines from T/hor. K/at D/ennings? Je/wish. Don’t even reference her anymore, doubt she’s coming back, they really don’t care.  A/aron T/aylor J/ohnson? Half more correct than E/lizabeth was for his role. He’s J/ewish. They killed him. 

Do you see the pattern here? But hey, R/ed S/kull, one of H/ydra’s elites? He’s alive! Isn’t that great messages to throw for people! Like the entire rest of this shitstick is. And hey, H/ayley A/twell, who literally sent her fanbase to attack Em/ily V/an camp for taking a role, and to attack C/hloe B/ennett for being the lead on A/gents of S/hield bc it had more of a fanbase than her crappy show did, and she tried to get it framed as anti-feminist and racist when it has more WOC in the main cast than her show did in probably both seasons? She got to win! She got her way! Isn’t that fantastic! 

anyways the reasons I don’t conform to the M/CU w most of my characters is very much so these reasons, they have no problem showing their r/acism, s/exism, and bullshit repeatedly and only pushing the w/hites forward while fucking over everyone else whenever they can. I know a lot of people don’t see it, and I’m not saying it’s not okay to like the movies, but I’m pretty tired of having to explain my reasons for being pissed off when the heads have no problem showing their ableism, sexism, and racism at any point they can. 

[kootenaygoon]

So,

The Nelson Star office was located right downtown, half a block off Baker Street, in a quaint little brick building at the top of the Stores to Shores development. It was within a short walking distance of my house, though I still drove most of the time, and right above a coffeeshop called Sidewinders that I haunted every day. Next door was a small park that desperately needed some attention, with a concrete staircase leading through a shaded forest slope strewn with garbage and scrub bushes. 

The newsroom was on the second floor and was smaller than your average bedroom, which meant I was in ultra-close proximity with Calvin and the two other reporters. Downstairs was the advertising department, our front desk lady Cheryl and the publisher, Sharon Carpenter. One half of a power duo in town, Sharon worked closely with her husband Cam, who was the regional publisher. They were fiercely career-driven, well-connected socially and politically, and had recently become intimately involved in the local soccer league — which meant I was going to end up writing many, many stories about soccer.

Before the Star was born, there had been a century-old institution in town: the Nelson Daily News. Beloved throughout the Kootenays, it had crumpled under its own weight — though most people felt Black Press was to blame. The Carpenters helped finagle the deal to purchase and rename it, a move that left long-lingering resentments in the community. It was about thirty pages an issue, twice weekly, with a regular supplement called the West Kootenay Advertiser and a monthly arts publication called Vurb. When I first picked it up I noticed there were an alarming number of photos with people smiling self-righteously behind big cheques — we called them grip n’ grins — and some of the submitted copy was embarrassing, but there was also an eclectic smorgasbord of different things to read about. 

As I flipped through the pages I felt myself getting giddy over the prospect of doing things in a new way. I wanted to bring my literary sensibilities into even the simplest of stories, and stamp my personality proud on the page.

Because I was hoping to create a sustainable future at the Star, I knew I had to make an effort to get along with Calvin. The real problem between Cass and Calvin, I figured, was they had incompatible personalities. Maybe it was a gender thing. It only took a day or two before I had a pretty good read on the guy, though: he was desperate to please, always making vaguely inappropriate Dad jokes, and operated in a near-constant state of panic mode. His ambition was to put in a couple of years as an editor out in the booneys, then leap-frog up to a similar post in the Lower Mainland. Calvin had come over from the Abbotsford News, and he couldn’t have been more out of place in the Kootenays. He had a round face, small glasses and a neat silver goatee. His right-wing politics matched nicely with the Carpenters’, and he was a big fan of Dooley, but I couldn’t believe the editor of a Nelson newspaper could routinely be heard murmuring “fucking hippies” and questioning whether climate change is really that big of a deal. He wore Chicago Blackhawks shirts nearly every single day, ate fast food at his desk, and often wrote his editorials in the mad-scramble final moments of production day. 

He was going through a tough period in his life, routinely commuting across the province to visit family, and I knew Nelson didn’t feel like home to him. Eventually I decided he was a dude, doing his best, just like everybody else.

My favourite piece of Calvin advice had to do with job titles. He didn’t believe they should ever be capitalized, a stance which had gotten him into trouble with the public in the past.

“This one guy got so mad at me, told me ‘I’m the president of the company, you have to capitalize my title’,” Calvin said, after putting the paper to bed. He grinned, remembering.

“There just happened to be a garbage man walking by the window and I said ‘he’s the garbage man, you’re the president. I don’t capitalize his job title, why would I capitalize yours?’”

Just before I was hired the Star picked up Tamara Hynd, a world-traveling adventurer a few years older than me. She was a tall and slender brunette, with kind eyes, and an ultra-healthy lifestyle that contrasted dramatically with Calvin’s. Her journalistic instincts were on-point, and I was awed by her ability to shoulder her way into situations to get the story. She started mostly reporting on the school board — there was a teacher’s strike going on — but she also got intimately involved in the Nelson Commons project, a condo development downtown that was struggling to find buyers. She cultivated relationships quickly, was professional to a fault and fearless when it came time to bull into new surroundings. She would eventually be the first person on scene during a deadly shooting incident in Slocan, she traveled by herself to cover the Shambhala Music Festival, and she became a regular on the slopes of Whitewater Ski Resort. She knew how to do the job in ways that I was still learning, and she was entirely modest about it. Sometimes I felt sorry for her, the only woman among three dudes, but she always held her own. 

Then there was Greg Nesteroff. During our drive, Cass had called him her favourite person in Nelson, and I quickly learned why. Mild-mannered and polite, he was like a character from a different time. He was easily the most respected name on our masthead, and was also well-known as a local radio personality. At first I had scoffed at some of the prose being produced at the paper, but Greg’s stories were gorgeously rendered and book-ready. He wrote historical features about characters people had never heard of, illustrated with incredible black and white photos, while also covering some of our most pressing crime stories. By the time I arrived he’d already won a number of newspaper prizes for his work, and the plaques were proudly displayed down at the front desk.

One thing I decided to do, right on my first day, was create a new personal Facebook page. I didn’t want my friends at home inundated with Nelson news, and I wanted a professional account that I could connect with any contact without worrying about them glimpsing too much of my personal life. I’d learned about social media marketing through my internship the year previous, and I was keen to mobilize those skills. I searched “Nelson, BC” and then added every organization, every business and every group I could find — effectively turning my newsfeed into a list of story ideas. I was aggressive about adding friends. My plan was to funnel all my content through my newly created Tumblr, Kootenay Goon, so I would have a digital archive of my work. 

When I checked out the Star’s Facebook page, I found it barely active and seriously lacking in photos. The Twitter account was even worse. I made it a personal goal to make sure every story of mine was posted on social media, something that wasn’t currently happening in any organized way under Calvin. He was too busy with laying out the print issues while playing catch-up with his editorial duties to really give much thought to the paper’s online presence. If somebody was going to bring the Star into the 21st century, it wasn’t going to be him.

When it came to divvying up the stories, it became clear that the primary hole I was there to fill was in arts reporting. Greg had crime and city hall covered, Tamara was all over the school board, and there was a summer intern helping Calvin with the sports stuff — he himself covered all the Nelson Leafs games. I eventually learned that the arts section was routinely comprised of press releases, published exactly as submitted, that often featured the same photos being used for that organization’s advertisements. The second half of the paper was often devoid of real bylines, with the phrase “Submitted” splattered all over the page, and all these institutions in town had gotten used to funnelling their content into the paper free of any editorial interference. Annoyingly enough, that relationship was symbiotic — there was no way we’d be able to fill the whole 30 pages otherwise. I figured the more stories I wrote for the arts section, the more we could elbow out this embarrassing content and elevate our game.

Calvin gave me the task of laying out the entertainment page, a chore I quickly grew to loathe, though it introduced me to many of the organizations I would come to rely on for leads — Selkirk College, Oxygen Art Centre, the Capitol, the Civic, On the Road Management, Spiritbar and the Royal. It was often the last thing I did on production day, scouring my e-mail and the internet for details on upcoming events. I quickly figured out that the larger I laid out the picture, the less work I would have to do filling the columns. While I poured my soul into my writing and reporting, this part of the job meant nothing to me. I knew that nearly nobody was turning to the hard-copy newspaper to figure out what was going on around town, while meanwhile there were a number of online calendars that were far superior. The entertainment page was a relic of the print past, and I was interested in the digital future.

One columnist who stood out to me right away was Anne DeGrace, from the Nelson Public Library. She was in nearly every issue, and she always seemed to have some cutesy or experimental element to her prose. The woman obviously knew her way around a sentence. I would later learn that she had been a single mother who had come to Nelson decades earlier, eventually starting a bookstore called Packrat Annie’s and authoring a series of novels. She was one of the masterminds behind ArtWalk, a yearly collaboration between artists and the business community, and she was an organizer for the Elephant Mountain Literary Festival. A powerhouse. Calvin recommended that I meet her in person and I did, at Oso Negro coffeeshop a few blocks from our office. She seemed a little wary of me, perhaps because I was planning to edge in on her literary niche, but happy to share her expertise. She told me stories about the Nelson Daily News before it died, and about how editor Rob Wall was the only one to successfully make the transition to the Star. According to her, people were still getting used to the new paper in town. There was animosity, for sure. She told me no matter what kind of journalist I was or what kind of work I did, I would be perceived as working for “The Man”. And in a community like Nelson, constructed on an ethos of default defiance and grassroots activism, that was tantamount to being the enemy. She sipped her coffee.

“Now you can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

The Kootenay Goon

[theblacksirenx]

Time Can’t Erase The Memories

Who → Laurel Lance

When → July 4th, 2018. ~ 4:30pm.

Where → Laurel’s bedroom

Notes → Another self para from me bc I have no self control and I just need to write. Contains current time stuff and flashbacks in the form of memories. Italicized pars are the flashbacks. Gives you a bit of insight into the real Laurel and her life, rather than the stuff she tells everyone about the Laurel she pretends to be.

Staring up at the photo hanging on the wall across from her bed, Laurel sighed. Nowhere else in the house did she have any pictures. Just the one. The shot of her with Matt and James warmed her heart, and it made her happy being able to look up and see it every day. It was a good memory, a happy one. It was a picture she could look at without feeling any type of anger or sadness.

It was easy for Laurel to say that she just didn’t have any pictures of her life before Amsterdam. But much like her life, and who she claimed to be, it was a lie. She had pictures. She had plenty of them. But hanging them up would never do any good. It could give away the lies she had told, and it would only bring her sadness. Laurel looked back at her life before Amsterdam, hell, even before going to this Earth, and it made her feel awful 

Leaning over from where she sat in bed with her legs crossed, she tugged open the drawer of her night stand. Beneath a few books, she had hidden a small stack of pictures. Some of them were worn and faded, small tears obvious along the edges. Some of them were in better condition, the newer ones that she had from her time on this Earth.

On the top of the stack sat a family picture. It was her, her mother, and her father. Laurel was wearing her pajamas still, but her parents had set up the camera with a timer to surprise her with a stack of waffles with syrup, chocolate chips, whipped cream, and a candle. It was a traditional Lance family thing to do when it was someone’s birthday. She clearly remembered that day. 

“Happy birthday, Dinah!” her parents chanted as they set the plate in front of her at the table.

She leaned forward, blowing the candle out before picking up her fork and knife.

“This.. is the best tradition I think our family has,” she told them, shoving a forkful of waffle into her mouth.

“We’ll go out for dinner later,” her mother said.

“And that’s not all,” her father said. “I’ll be picking up your favorite this afternoon. Yellow cake,” he said. “With chocolate glaze,” he said, as she chimed in along with her father to finish his sentence.

“I can’t wait. You guys are the best.”

It was one of the worst days of her life.

“Where’s daddy?” she asked. “He’s been gone for a long time, it doesn’t usually take him this long to go out for the cake.”

“Dinah, sweetie..” her mother said, wiping wet streaks of eyeliner and mascara off of her cheeks. “Y-your father was in an accident.”

“He.. what do you mean, where is he?” she asked, her voice beginning to shake.

The moment her mother said that her father was dead, it felt like her whole world shattered. She and her father had a bond that was unbreakable. He was her partner in crime, the parent she trusted more, the parent she felt like she could tell anything to even when she had screwed up. And now he was gone.

“N-no, you’re lying to me,” she said, ignoring the tears falling. “He’s not gone, this is some cruel joke. It.. It’s my birthday,” she sobbed.

Her mother’s arms went around her tightly, but she pushed her away. She was thirteen years old, and her father was gone. On her birthday, he had died. She never thought that when she saw him before he left that it would be the last time. 

“His body is at the hospital. Dinah, we need to go,” Mrs. Lance stated, trying to keep herself together for her daughter’s sake.

“I’m not going anywhere!” she snapped, giving her mother a hard shove. “Just leave me alone.” 

She stormed off to her room, slamming the door behind her. The small brunette leaned against the closed door, sliding down it until she was seated on the floor with her knees tucked up to her chest. 

“Happy fucking birthday to me.”

A single tear rolled down Laurel’s cheek, but she was quick to brush it away. Eve since that day, she avoided doing anything for her birthday. It always became a day where she could be alone, and deal with the huge loss. Sometimes it’d become a day of anger, and acting out. But she made sure that she never had birthday cake, never celebrated, and she rarely told people that was her birthday so she could really avoid it all.

Setting the photo down, Laurel looked at the next one in the stack. Her and Oliver. 

“Do you have to go?”

“Have to? No. But I should. My dad and I don’t always see eye to eye but I know that he’s looking forward to the trip,” Oliver stated.

“I’m going to miss you, Ollie,” she told him.

Oliver pressed his lips to her temple, and tugged her closer. She curled up against him, running her fingers gently up and down his bare chest. She didn’t know it was possible to love like that. After losing her dad, she became so mad at the world, but Oliver was there for her. He stood by her, even as she began making some less than good decisions.

“I know. But it’s only a short trip, we’ll be back in a week. Promise.”

She leaned up and kissed him softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Her eyes glued to the photo, she felt a pain in her chest that she knew was heartache. They looked so happy in the shot, standing on the dock right before her boyfriend got on the boat with his father. Laurel was sad that he was leaving, but she had been sure that she’d have him back soon enough so they could continue their lives together. She never expected to be so wrong.

As the news flickered across the television screen, the words she read an heard were unbelievable. There was no way. 

“Starling City native and owner of Queen Consolidated, Robert Queen, and son Oliver Queen found dead after boating accident.”

“No..” she whispered. “No, no no..”

She tightened her blanket around her body, feeling sick to her stomach. She loved him. Oliver Queen was the love of her life, and she was never going to see him again. Much like her father’s death, she never could have seen it coming. Growing up, she knew that the family used the Gambit all the time. She didn’t understand what happened.

“Ollie,” she cried out, listening and watching as the news continued with the story. “No..”

They had plans. He was the only man she had ever envisioned a future with. They were so happy, they had everything figured out and suddenly it was all ripped away from her. She was crying, sure, but inside she felt completely numb. Her Ollie was dead. 

She was only twenty two. But he was dead, and she had now lost the two most important men in her life. There was no getting them back. They were gone. 

Laurel and her mother didn’t have what anyone would call a functional relationship. After her father’s death, it just got worse. Her mother didn’t know how to handle Laurel as she started to act out, causing trouble and becoming more and more angry and aggressive as the months and years passed. So when the news came out about Oliver, Laurel had nobody. She was on her own to grieve the fact that she had nobody.

People wondered why she always found herself involved with bad men. But she desperately wanted to be around that strong male figure and although her choices weren’t always ideal, it was enough for her. The distraction that came from being with them and working with them was also very welcome. She needed that.

As she set that one down, she sighed softly. She didn’t have a memory for that one, because even though it was her face, it wasn’t her. It still made her stomach twist though. It was Quentin, and his Laurel. She knew Quentin carried around the picture of the two of them after his Laurel died. She remembered when she saw it for the first time, but she could entirely remember how the picture ended up in her possession. Seeing it now, she wondered if it would have been better if it had stayed with Sara. Her doppelganger’s sister was a great woman, and Laurel could only imagine the pain of losing both her sister and her father.

When she moved to the next picture in the small stack, she had to take a minute to breathe. She felt like all of the air had been sucked out of her lungs. Laurel wiped her eyes as more tears fell. 

He was gone. Another person she cared for, taken away. She wondered when this cycle would stop. She knew she lived in a shitty world full of shitty people, but she didn’t think that Quentin was going to be the next person in her life that she’d never see alive again. 

“I’m so sorry, daddy,” she whispered.

Looking at the cold, lifeless body in front of her, Laurel didn’t know what else to say. Sara had left more than half an hour ago, but she still remained. She couldn’t seem to pull herself away.

“You didn’t deserve this.”

She pulled a chair over to him and sat down, taking his hand in hers. Her eyes stung with tears as she looked at him, wishing that there was something she could do to change this. 

Quentin’s death was so fresh. He died trying to save her. Diaz had the gun pointed at her, ready to shoot her. But Quentin jumped in front of that bulled for her. He wasn’t supposed to die. The doctors were optimistic, he should have made it through surgery. But he seized on the table and there was no coming back from it. His brain was without oxygen for too long. 

He wasn’t technically her father. He was Laurel and Sara’s father. Her died years before, back on her Earth. But it still ripped her apart inside. He died right before she left for Amsterdam. While he hadn’t been the one who raised her, he looked like the man who did. And sure, they had only known each other a short while, but he looked at her as if she was his Laurel.

Once they got past the initial rockiness of her kidnapping him, him shooting her on Lian Yu, all the other times she did shitty things to him and Team Arrow, he treated her like a daughter. He took her somewhere safe when she was shot by Dinah Drake, he tried time and time again to find redeeming qualities in her that she was pretty sure she didn’t have. He was the reason she finally stood up to Diaz. He was the reason she had begun seeing the light, and how did she repay him? By getting him killed.

At first, referring to him as her dad was just a way for her to ruffle his feathers and get under his skin. But eventually it was because he really was a father to her. She loved him as if he really were her father. He was such a positive force to have around. But now he was gone, and she entirely blamed herself for that.

The stack of pictures had a few more in it, but Laurel couldn’t bring herself to keep looking. Her little trip down memory lane was more than enough to make her wish she had just burned the pictures, or left them back in Star City. 

Deep down, she knew that even if she had destroyed them, or left them behind, she still had the memories engraved into her head whether she liked it or not. Going through that much loss could take a toll on anyone, and losing people she loved was something her mind would never be able to escape. She walked around with the grief of the losses every single day of her life.

Stacking them up neatly, she put the pictures back in her night stand. Her face was wet with tears, and she couldn’t seem to make them stop. She inhaled shakily as she looked up at the picture hanging on the wall. Her heart was so heavy and full of sadness, but looking at the smiling faces she, Matt, and James all wore was nice. That feeling left quickly though. 

So many men in her life, all the good ones, were dead. What if that was a sign?What if now, any man she got close to would end up dead? She didn’t want that. She hoped that she was safe their in Amsterdam, but there were no guarantees. There was no way to know for sure that she wasn’t going to be found by Diaz. There was no way to know whether or not she and the people she had grown close to would be able to live peacefully for very long. Fear was a powerful thing, and Laurel was full of it. 

No matter how much she wished she could breathe in relief, relax, live life to it’s fullest, and forget the pain she endured, she knew it was impossible.

[galaxystony]

fortune’s fool: peter parker III

peter parker x reader

A/N: multi-part fic based off of a twitter post which I won’t link until the end so as not to spoil anything :-) Each part can be read individually or as a series! (ps i’m dedicating this chapter to @rileywrites-parker bc i appreciate her very much and i’m still shook that she likes my story aaaah!)

requested: nope

Words: 3200+

Warnings: cursing, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of death, angst

summary: Two Empire State University students fated to meet, but just out of reach

let me know if you’d like to be added to my tag list!

requests are open!

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | masterlist

3. Tragedy

23 year old Peter, 21 year old reader

When asked in the future, she’ll say that she can’t quite remember how it happened. She’ll say that everything occurred too fast, that every word, every breath, every second was a blur of color and sound, incoherent to her numb body. Perhaps, though, that was only an outcome of the slippery hands of time, that her own mind let her forget.

The truth was, when it actually happened, she was acutely aware of everything, every sense attuned to the sobs and heavy breathing on the other end of the phone.

“Dead on impact,” the crackly voice said. She’d heard it. Processed it. Internalized it. She understood from the moment that the words slipped out of that trembling, crying mouth. Gone. Forever. And then she hung up, booked a train ticket, and packed her bags. She didn’t cry.

6 Hours

The loud honking of a horn disrupted her from her reverie, causing her head to snap up from its buried position in her book. A smiling face greeted her through the open window of the car, beckoning her towards him.

“Hey, babe! What’re you doing out here?” Peter asked, leaning over the empty passenger seat.

“Studying,” she hummed, peeking through the window, her arms rested against the car door.

“In the rain? At eight in the evening?” he asked incredulously, eyeing her raincoat and dripping hair.

“I like the smell. It also means that nobody else is out here today. Plus, it’s not dark out yet,” she smiled, gesturing with a nod towards the indeed empty park where she’d just been sitting.

“You’re gonna catch a cold, crazy. Come on, get in. We can grab some coffee on the way home,” Peter offered, leaning forward even further to open the door for her.

“Fine,” she agreed, sliding into the heated car. “But make it a tea.”

“You got it, boss,” he grinned, pulling away from the curb and accelerating in the direction of their apartment.

Twenty minutes later, they were shaking their umbrellas out just outside their front door, making sure they were as dry as possible before they stepped inside.

She dropped her bag by the door, waiting for Peter to shut the heavy wood behind them before helping him out of his jacket, a routine they’d performed countless times since she’d moved in a year earlier.

Though she’d been adamant about living separately from Peter while still in school, she found herself accepting his offer to move in the moment she graduated.

“Only because I’d have nowhere else to go, though,” she clarified, and Peter laughed and pulled her into a tight hug.

Nothing had changed much from before she moved in. Now, though, she was expected to help with groceries and chores- beyond picking up after herself, of course- and most importantly, she had her own room.

It was the small back room that used to hold Peter’s punching bag but had since been transformed into a white-walled sanctuary with plants and candles lining her desk and windowsill.

At first, Peter protested that she didn’t need her own room. “You can just stay in my room like you always do,” was his reasoning.

“Peter, I’m not living in your room,” she frowned.

“But you always stay with me, anyway,” he argued, mimicking her crossed arms and defensive stance.

“Yeah, but that’s because I had my own room and my own apartment to go back to. Trust me, you don’t want me staying in your room for the foreseeable future.” And that was that. Two weeks later, she was moving into her own room, and suddenly, what once was Peter’s space was now hers, too.

There was an ease, she found, in living with her best friend. They knew each other better than the back of their hands, and so they were able to work together in harmony to keep their little home running.

She knew that Peter, as smart as he was, was completely inept when it came to anything that had to do with plumbing or heating or any sort of repairs their apartment needed, and he knew that she couldn’t cook something as simple as a grilled cheese to save her life, and so she took care of mending their home while he made sure they were both fed.

“We’ve got this whole ‘gender role’ thing all turned around,” he remarked once after she’d fixed a busted pipe underneath the kitchen sink.

“Hmm. I guess we do,” she agreed. Then she brushed a lock of hair out of her face and said, “Now go make me a sandwich” and he laughed, but complied.

Back in the front hall, she was shaking her wet hair out so that she could pull it up and out of her face when Peter called from the kitchen “What do you want for dinner?”

“Uh, do we still have that pasta from last night? ‘Cause I’ll just heat some of that up,” she replied, making her way to the small kitchen. She found Peter placing a bowl of cold noodles into the microwave before she was able to do it herself. “Oh, thanks,” she smiled, sitting heavily at the small round table.

Peter sat down in his usual seat across from her and she picked her socked feet up and rested them on his lap. “Long day?” he asked, watching her drooping eyes as she fought exhaustion.

“No, just tired. Med school sucks,” she groaned, propping her head on a clenched fist. “Why did I have to choose a medical major, again?”

“Because you want to help people? Especially people like your sister who need prosthetics to go about their daily lives? Stop me when I get any warmer,” Peter chuckled softly.

“Right,” she sighed. “I guess that’d make this all worth it.”

“Don’t sound so glum, smarty pants. In a few short years, you’ll be out there changing lives and you’ll hardly remember how much you hated all eight years of higher education,” he grinned.

She smiled, nudging his stomach softly with her foot. “Thanks, Peter.” Somehow he always knew what to say.

4 hours

“Y/N, are you going out tonight? I need to know whether or not to let Ned and MJ over.”

She was sitting at her desk, letting her eyes pore over the medical article she had pulled up on her laptop when Peter’s question pulled her focus away.

“Uh, no, I think I’m staying in,” she replied, clicking out of the website and shutting her laptop.

She heard his footsteps draw closer to her door then stop. Peter knocked then peeked his head through the doorway. “Studying again?”

“Yup,” she responded, pulling her legs underneath her and beckoning him inside. “Crazy Friday night, am I right?”

“Oh yeah, total rager. Everyone’s either gonna end up passed out or throwing up,” he said seriously, only breaking when she laughed at his expression. “Nah, Ned and MJ wanted to try out a new recipe, and they claim that we have the better oven, so I said they could come over. Sometimes I really regret buying them those best friend cooking lessons.”

“You’re right. I better study out there and make sure they don’t accidentally burn part of the apartment down. Again.” She got up, gathering her necessary books and her laptop, and she followed Peter into the living room.

“What about you? Any plans tonight?” she asked once she was seated comfortably on the sofa.

“Just the nightly rounds for me. Probably won’t stay out too late unless something big happens,” Peter shrugged, moving to the kitchen to grab the bowl of popcorn he’d set out.

“Okay. Be safe,” she reminded him, watching his reaction over the top of her computer to ensure that he was being sincere when he agreed, and not just saying so to appease her.

“Always am, babe,” he smiled, throwing a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

The sound of the front door unlocking caused them to look in its direction, watching the knob turn until it opened to reveal the other half of their rather motley crew.

“Hey MJ, Ned,” she waved at their smiling faces. Both were carrying full plastic bags which they immediately dropped in the kitchen before collapsing into their usual seats on the sofa next to Y/N. “What’re we testing tonight?”

“Pumpkin bread. Just in time for Halloween,” Ned beamed, stretching an arm over the top of the cushions and pulling her into his side.

“It’s halfway through September, Ned,” Peter frowned from across the room where he lounged on the creaky recliner.

“Exactly. I’m behind this year,” he groaned. Y/N and MJ laughed, knowing full well that any holiday at all may not have even been celebrated if it hadn’t been for Ned.

“Yeah, I just agreed to the recipe because he begged,” MJ shrugged, a smile still shining in her eyes. “Anyway, we’ll start now so we don’t keep you guys up too late.”

“Wait, let me get out of here first. I don’t want to have to bear witness to the destruction you’re about to cause in my kitchen.” Peter pushed himself out of his seat and retreated to his room only to emerge a minute later in his telltale red and blue suit. “See you guys soon.”

“Be careful, Spidey,” MJ called from inside the kitchen, hardly looking up from her mixing bowl.

“Yeah, what she said,” Ned agreed.

Peter smiled, feeling a familiar warmth in his chest. The support his friends gave him made the bad parts of the job much easier. He was struck, not for the first time, by how thankful he was to have them.

“Later, gator,” Y/N declared from her seat.

“In a while, crocodile,” he responded with a smile and a little salute before checking both ways out of their open window and shooting a web at the building across the street when he saw that all was clear, pulling himself up and out with a loud whoop.

“Honestly, I don’t know how nobody in this building knows his secret. That kid is the furthest thing from subtle,” MJ stated, mixing her batter vigorously while Y/N and Ned laughed in a silent agreement.

1 Hour

It was after one a.m. Peter still wasn’t home. She knew she shouldn’t be worried. He was Spider-Man, for God’s sake. He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

Still, no amount of reasoning could quell the raging storm in her mind as she watched the flickering lights of the city from the fire escape, hoping that she’d catch a glimpse of the familiar bright suit that would indicate his safety.

This had become a nightly routine for her since he’d come back several months ago at the crack of dawn with a broken arm and mild concussion.

“I’ll be fine,” he’d said. “I’ll be good as new by tomorrow morning, don’t worry about me.”

But that’s all she ever seemed to do now. Worry. Her mind took inklings of horrible thoughts and ran with them, which led to her thinking of every possible terrible thing that could be keeping him from coming home.

Most days, he’d come back a little after midnight without a scratch and a little spring in his step as he prided himself in his success. Sometimes, though, he’d come back later after a particularly bad fight, battered and bruised and looking for his best friend to patch him up.

She always did it without a second thought, not asking him for the details. She knew he’d open up if he wanted to, so she didn’t push.

Tonight, though, her heart constricted in her chest. She’d had a bad feeling all day, like a little whisper in her mind was saying “look out, look out, look out.” And so she sat on the fire escape and she looked out.

She watched as lights in the apartment building across the street blinked out one by one until every window was dark. Most people, she knew, were asleep without a worry in their mind. MJ and Ned certainly were after leaving about an hour ago.

It was these moments where she felt the most alone. Her best friend was out until ungodly hours of the morning saving the city, and her other two friends had their own separate lives from hers. All she had now were her thoughts which pounded relentlessly against her skull, like waves crashing and crashing against a sandy shore.

He better be okay, she thought sullenly, squinting at a slight movement on the street below. Nope, just an alley cat. She sighed, leaning her head back against the cold metal of the narrow steps.

She checked her watch. 1:45. She sighed again, closing her eyes tightly in an attempt to ignore the rising panic in her chest. Now was not the time for an anxiety attack. She hadn’t had one in quite a while, especially after meeting Peter who somehow always knew how to keep them at bay, but there were times when she knew that the dark little monster hiding in her shadows would win and she’d be out of commission for at least five minutes as she tried to calm herself down.

She checked her phone for the umpteenth time in the past few minutes. Still no text from Peter. With a groan, she shot him a message of her own in hopes that Karen would notify him of it and he’d respond.

Two minutes later, her phone chimed, and  she picked it up quickly, seeing the Incoming Call notification. She swiped her screen to answer, speaking worriedly into it.

“Peter, are you okay? Why haven’t you been answering me?” she demanded, an unprompted scowl gracing her features.

“Y/N, this isn’t Peter,” the voice on the other end spoke. She frowned, pulling it away from her ear to check the caller ID.

“Oh, sorry dad. I was expecting him to call. What’s going on? Why are you calling me at two in the morning?” she asked, digging a finger into a hole in the blanket she had draped over her shoulders in an effort to combat the biting wind.

“Y/N, something bad happened,” her father’s voice shook, and she knew he was fighting off tears.

“Dad, what happened? Are you okay? What’s going on?” she repeated, sitting up so she was no longer leaning against the cold metal.

“It’s your sister. She was in an accident. Someone hit her car when she was on her way home from work. The police said…” a sob cut his sentence off prematurely as her eyes widened in disbelief.

“What? What happened to her? Is she okay? Dad, you need to tell me what happened!” She was hysterical by now, pleading with her father to tell her whether or not her sister was alright.

“She’s dead,” he choked through another sob. “Died upon impact, they said.”

“No. There’s no way. She’s not. Dad, tell me you’re lying,” she ordered him, but she knew. She just knew. “Dad. I’m coming home. Tomorrow. I’ll be there, okay dad?”

She could hear his sound of approval, a tiny thing that cut through the sound of his crying. Her heart clenched when she thought about her poor younger sister who she’d left behind for the city, who always knew the right things to say and had a heart big enough to love everybody.

Why? she thought, clenching the wool blanket as she hung up the phone in a daze. Why her? She’d already gone through so much since the first accident. Why did she have to suffer even more? It didn’t make sense.

A clang from somewhere above her startled her out of her stupor and she looked up to find Peter in his tight suit climbing stealthily down the stairs until he was in front of her and pulling his mask off, allowing his too-long brown curls to fall in his face.

“Y/N? What’re you still doing up?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing at her unfocused eyes.

“Peter,” was all she said until she collapsed in his arms, eyes still wide and unseeing and free of any tears. Cry, she thought. What’s wrong with you? Why won’t you just cry?

Peter pulled her closer without a word, arms clenching around her trembling figure. “What happened, Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asked the same questions she had just minutes earlier.

“My sister died, Peter,” she spoke into his chest, squeezing him tightly to ground herself, scared that if she let go, she’d float away into nonexistence.

“What! When? How? Are you serious?” He pulled back, holding her at arm’s length to stare into her empty gaze.

“Car accident. Dead upon impact. There was nothing they could do,” she replied, her voice sounding hollow to her own ears.

“Oh my God. Y/N, I’m so sorry, what can I do?” he asked, gripping her hands tightly in his own.

“I need to buy a train ticket. I need to go home, Peter,” she looked up at his face which was twisted into a frown, concern shining in his eyes.

“Of course, Y/N, but do you need anything right now? Do you want to talk about it? She’s- was- your best friend. I know this is so hard for you,” he said, pulling her back into his embrace.

“I can’t talk about it right now. It doesn’t feel real. It feels like she’s gonna be meeting me at the station with that huge smile once I get there. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what to think. I mean, I can’t even cry, Peter. What is wrong with me? I loved her more than I could’ve loved anybody else, but I can’t even cry for her,” she whispered worriedly.

“Just because you’re not crying doesn’t make you a bad person, babe. You’re just in shock, I think. I know that my uncle’s death isn’t even near the same as this, but I was the same way. But once I got past the shock, I was able to grieve with May, and eventually it got better. Trust me, Y/N, I know it seems like the entire world is fighting you right now, and that nothing will ever go right again, but it will get better, I promise you that,” he assured her, rubbing a soothing hand over her back. “Now come on, I’m staying with you tonight, and then first thing tomorrow, we’re buying two train tickets home, okay?”

“Two?” she asked, peeking at him through her eyelashes.

“One for me and one for you. You’re not alone in this, Y/N. I’m here for you. Always,” he promised, pulling her until she was through the window and collapsed on her bed with his body wrapped tightly around hers.

She stared blankly into the darkness as Peter drifted off, soft snores escaping his upturned nose. He pulled her close, nestling his face into the crook of her neck, but she couldn’t sleep. She just stared and stared and didn’t- no, couldn’t-  think. She stared until the dark became light, and she started as Peter bought her their train tickets, and she stared through the window of the moving train, and she stared through her dad’s car window, completely unable to speak, no matter how much Peter prompted her to.

She couldn’t stand to admit to him that she was not his Y/N anymore. She was not even her own. As far as she was concerned, she died in that car accident too, and nobody, not even Peter, could bring her back.

tagged: @multi-parker @cutie1365 @cersei-lannister @oswald-1998 @kawaiianime03 @lionfart @mrsdoradominguez-barnes @nonewmessage @co0kies08 @dec-snowy @sunshine-little-miss @cubedtriangle @triggerfingerfunction​ @dailygubler​ @dianadawson @frickflop @sparkle-dinosaur @theholyholland 

[justwordsonpages]

I used to spend so much time wondering if you cared about me..

I used to spend so much time hoping one day you would.

I've known you half my life.

You were the first guy I ever dated, kissed, loved... You were, so many times, my first.

I remember everything so so vividly.

You were.. Shy. And quiet. And so sweet.. In middle school I would walk with you 2 blocks down the road to your house every time I saw you. Sometimes, you'd come sneak up behind me. Sometimes you would put your arm around me or pretend like you were attacking me. We'd walk super slowly, talking the whole way. Usually, and even to this day, you'd probably be disagreeing with something. We talked about everything.

We were friends. Sometimes I would see you during school. At the dances, I'd always look for you, secretly. Once I met J because she randomly sat next to me and just struck up a conversation, and you came and joined us and I basically stayed with you that night. I met your cousin at one of them. At another, I had left early because my mom and I were going to the high school to watch a play. I would be disappointed whenever you weren't there. Sometimes I'd be off with H, J, B, A, P, etc and wouldn't see you either.

It wasn't until my summer after 8th grade that you told me you liked me at all. We were so shy, we were still kids. You were slick with words then too.

We hungout sometimes alone, sometimes with others. D was usually with us. Things were great sometimes and awkward some others.

Once, you and D stopped by my grandmas house and asked if I could go with you guys, so I did, and we walked literally all the way across town to your dad's. It was fun. We joked and laughed and had a good time. We left to start heading back and it had started getting dark. We took the long way because I was avoiding my mom, I knew she would be mad. We kept walking. D joked that we should kiss. We hadn't kissed yet, ever. You had your arm around me. And I just remember always feeling so safe with you. Walking under the old bridge with spray paint and sharpie covered bricks, with the lights on. It was oddly romantic somehow. You were so nice to me that day.

There was a day when we were walking around and it just started raining. I've always loved that vibe.

We walking a stray dog we found one day.

Just so many memories.

Unfortunately we were not mature enough and it ended about 2 months later pretty awkwardly. We were too young and had too much to learn. After that, you went on to develop a very high sex drive and my dad died and I also had surgery. We did not speak at all, and I honestly thought that I would never see you again. I missed you, the whole time.

I saw you, one time in a parking lot after I got done in Kmart. I was with my mom, you were with D. My mom and I were pretty far away. I think you guys saw me, because right then as fast as you both could you ran to the car you were with.

Almost 2 years after we stopped speaking. It's late, I'm in my grandmas bathroom doing my hair, and my ipod lights up. It says your name and a "Hey".

First off..."Hey"?? Lol.

We talked. We became close again, and this time we hung out at perry farm. It was a super nice day in May I think, and it was nice to see you..

We had several small little encounters like that. Like when we'd sit on the playground and you'd just set your hand on my thigh and we would talk. And you would move it ever so slightly, and that would be all. You drove me fucking crazy.

Or when we would meet up at the elementary school to make out after hours. That got intemse sometimes, but it never went anywhere. I saw a different side of you then, but you were always still just a gentleman. Or when we'd show up near a creek under these railroad tracks and do the same thing.

When we would stand somewhere and hug for like 30 minutes straight without moving.

When we got older, and in high school sometimes I'd see you in the mornings or randomly. At one point I saw you alot either before or after school and sometimes your friends too. I loved it. I loved being near you.

And then you started talking to R and everything was different from then on. She didn't trust you around me. Started hating me and told you not to talk to me any more. For a long time, you didnt.. I hated it. Felt like I saw you with her every time I turned around. I wanted to be her more than anyone else in the world.

And then your grandma passed away.. And you texted me. You explained everything. Told me she didn't like you talking to me and how you didn't want to but you were trying to be a good boyfriend. You told me she's controlling. You told me about your grandma. You poured your heart out to me about it.. You told me you were sorry and I said that it was fine. Sometimes you would call me. Then a while later, R pretended to be pregnant and hurt you alot, I know that, and then you guys broke up and she moved to Texas. You started talking to me again.

I've heard about and had to picture you with so many women.

0nce in a period of us not talking, you called me while you were hanging out with N. We talked for 6 hours. We talked and laughed and you threw quarters at N. I was so happy after that phone call. There was late night phone calls here and there. We had to be sneaky.

Once we met up at BC to revisit the past and we were sitting by the garbage dumpsters. We were just hanging out and talking and I just looked over and you kissed me right then. I think that's the most spontaneous and unexpected kiss I've ever had. We started talking again after that day too. And all this happened through the years and I never slept with you. You always wanted me to, but I never wanted to just be "one of them".

When you lived behind the school we were walking once and a car rear ended someone else right in front of us. Perhaps that was the night that it was so super dark and suddenly you kissed me. I asked you what that was for and you said "closure".

Anything to do with you made my heart race. You were my best friend and I loved you so much all at once. I would do anything for you. And then life went on for a good while. We're so much better apart than together. During these times you hurt yourself over people who did not deserve to know you and it changed you.. A lot.

You absolutely love sex but it's as if no one's touched you.. Loved you.

You are so angry and jealous but so sweet and loving.

Everything is different. We hung out. And on this particular day, for the first time ever, you picked me up in a car you own. You dressed up for me and then actually admitted it. We went on a drive and smoked a blunt, and talked. Just like always. It was so nice. But I knew I still loved you..

I left my relationship for you.

So then we eventually did it.. We were together. We went on a walk one night, smoked, and listened to music. It was pretty cold that night. Eventually you tested those waters and grabbed my hand. And then the next thing I know, we're standing in a field in pitch black kissing each other. A lot.

You stayed at my house that night and I gave you head for the first time ever. You told me no one's ever been able to do that. I still don't believe you.

I've literally never met anyone and wanted them as bad as you. I had to go back to school after that weekend and I still hadn't slept with you. I was still nervous. I would stay at your house for a bit every now and then and we fell asleep. When you woke up you said "nobodys ever slept in my bed before" and I didn't believe that either.

I was at school 5 hours away from you when we began planning a trip to meet halfway. So we did.

We were intimate fairly fast.

Intimate in the one way we never had been. Passion is an understatement. Sex in your car, in a Walmart parking lot in a state neither of us lived in.

When we got done, an old man in his car was staring at us. So we parked my car and went to a nature preserve. It was beautiful and we had a great time. I took pictures. We smoked your dab pen. We almost had sex in the park. We went to the hotel and had the most passionate sex of my life. Like pressed-up-against-a-mirror passion.

The window, the mirror, the bed, the shower, his car, we couldn't get enough of each other. After all that we fell asleep, and in the middle of the night, we woke up and you made love to me. It was beautiful, and I will never forget it.

But now... Now something has happened to me. I told myself that I deserved to be happy for once and do something for me, and then I let myself have you. I let my enjoy hearing your every sign and moan. I let myself enjoy your reactions to my every move and teasing you. I let myself enjoy it when you wanted me so bad you were shaking. Your teeth chattered.. And yet you were still so nice to me. I let myself be the thing you needed and I hate myself because I don't regret it...

I don't regret you.