#no matter what i do or how many hours every day or all the info i look up and read i just am never good enough

[thingswhatareawesome]

just could not get that 12th star in pure fiction. have retried so many times, ended up playing until way fucking longer than i should have. and yet i see people clearing the whole thing with fucking 70s. partly this is what i get for not having prioritized traces on my buffing characters. also this i guess is what i get for not pulling every single uber ranked 5 star even though part of it is getting fucked over by rng (I SEE YOU STANDARD WARP AND GEPARD AND FX). but also i guess this is what i get for rng fucking me over on so many halfassed to lousy relics? i think that's what gets me--is that it's just never enough. never enough 5* never enough pulling the RIGHT ones, never enough traces done never enough truly good relics bc the game won't GIVE me them

and it's not that i'm ftp anymore, i'm doing that little monthly jades subscription and the occasional bp here and there. but it's just never ENOUGH.

[iriswritesforyou]

Mutant Furnace

info - The heating had gone out in the school, Logan decided to help you

Warnings? - Coldness? Reader being from the south?

Word Count: 1,322

Logan had sported his leather jacket since the moment he got it, it was his trademark in a way. He wore it nearly every day and everywhere and you swore he even wore it to bed, even now with the whole heating out  in the school, he didn't really need it, but he wore it. It was the middle of winter and even with Charles and all his money and the heating had gone out. You and the other teachers had rounded up all the blankets and given them to the kids, you had given up everything but one of your own leaving you freezing in bed. It was around midnight now and you had classes in the morning, no matter how much you curled up and tossed around you could feel your fingers and toes go numb. 

Giving up,  you stood up, your teeth chattering and limbs shaking, wrapping your last blanket tightly around you. It was thin and made of a breathable cotton made for decoration, not for keeping warm so it offered little as you slowly made your way out of your room and down into the living room hoping someone had kept the fire going. With every movement your body ached and with every breath you could see it, you haven't grown up with a winter like this, barely ever seeing snow down south. 

It seemed like an eternity as you slowly made your way down the steps of the school, why did there have to be so many? It was quiet as you crept through the house and into the living room with your trembling breathing being the only sound. 

You could have started to cry when you saw the fire had died out and only the embers remained, still you made your way over slowly easing your body on the ground, getting as close to the fire place as you could without being inside of it. You were so focused on getting warm you missed Logan sitting in a chair in the corner of the room wearing that leather jacket. He didn't make a sound as he watched you shaking like a leaf, confused as to why you were awake at this hour and why you weren't curled up under the covers of your bed. You see, Logan had always had a bit of a soft spot for you, everyone knew it too and teased him about it but they never dared to tease you. 

“Kid?” His rough and low voice scared you as you jumped and turned half of your body to look at where his voice came from. 

“Logan?” He noticed how strained your voice was and walked over to you swiftly, crouching down next to you. He immediately noticed how your teeth were chattering and the blue tint to your typically rosy lips, the way your entire body shook worse and worse as the seconds moved by. 

“What are you do- doing down here?” You asked, struggling to make out the proper words “I could ask you the same doll.” 

“ I couldn't sleep, i- it’s too col - cold in here.” 

Logan knew for most people it would have been cold in the school but for him it was only slightly chilly, though you looked like you were freezing, about two seconds away from turning into a popsicle. 

“Why aren’t you in bed then kid? Under the covers where it’s warm?” Your shaking became even worse and your skin became increasingly dull and drained. You shook your head “ I - I gave all o-of my blank - k - ets to the students.” you gave a small laugh lamely and Logan could see your breath in the air “being fr -from the s- s- south and all, I - I don't really do the c- c -cold.” Your eyes flickered down to his leather jacket and how he didn't even look remotely cold “ H- How the hell a - are you n- not freezing?” 

He sat down next to you and shook his head “This is nothing compared to Canada and my mutation allows me to not feel temperatures as much as others.” 

His eyes went to the blanket around you barely managing to trap your body heat “Is that your only blanket?” You nodded. 

You watched as he shrugged off his leather jacket that tonight confirmed he slept in “Here.” He held it out to you and just looked at it dumbfounded, you couldn't really believe that Logan was giving you his jacket. He exhaled deeply and started to reach for your blanket to take it off. “Put it on, it will help, doll.” he said in a gentle tone. 

He helped you as you shook off your blanket and quickly put in his jacket that was too big for you, almost swallowing you whole before wrapping yourself up again. A small selfish part of him loved the way you looked in his jacket, his, on you, something that was too sweet to ever be his. 

It helped a little but not much, still shaking but less so, you thanked him. Logan had hoped that after a few minutes your body would start to warm up but it wasnt looking that way, he could start a fire. 

He unsheathed his claws catching your attention and you watched with unwavering focus as he scraped his claws against the metal on the side of the fireplace making sparks fly, catching the logs. He bent his torso over and blowed into it making a fire appear, you quickly scooted almost on top of it, your body right next to his, shoulder to shoulder. 

He thought you looked truly beautiful in the firelight with it reflecting off your skin and it highlighting the whites of your eyes, like an angel. Several moments passed in silence as he just watched you before you turned towards him, eyes locked onto each other. 

“Thank you” you whispered slowly and he felt your cold breath on his face, he could smell the scent of your hair and body, it was heavenly to him. 

“Well, I can't have one of our best teachers dying of the cold now can I?” you smiled at his words and bent your head down onto his shoulder leaning fully against him, he was so warm and you pushed yourself even closer. 

“You're like a 6 foot heater you know.” The color had now begun to come back to you and you had almost completely stopped shaking but he could still feel how cold you were, even his jacket. 

And in a selfish act that was more for him than for you, he wrapped one arm under your bent knees that were together and the other around your shoulder, picking you up and putting you in his lap. Your body was fully pressed against him now, sitting directly in his lap with his chin resting on his head but you went stiff for a moment before fully relaxing into his touch. 

You both could have spent forever like that, you felt safe in his arms that were tightly wrapped around your waist and he felt like the luckiest mutant in the world. 

With your body temperature finally back to normal a wave of exhaustion crashed into you. Logan kept his eyes fully trained on you as he watched your body fully sag down, eyelids becoming heavy and breathing evening out, he thought you had fallen asleep. Just as we were about to shift so he could lean against the fireplace so he could keep you warm through the night you lifted your neck up to his cheek and pressed your lips against his cheek softly “thank you.”

He froze before taking his hand and running it over your hair “always.” 

That whole night he stayed awake with you in his arms, keeping the fire from dying out and wrapped safely in his jacket in his arms with your blanket covering you both. 

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Helloooo! I've been wanting to share rhis idea of mine for our emo boy Martin.

What if the reader and Martin were like friends. And he always has a thing for her as he should because this us, hello? And then when the reader went to his place and saw him all bloodied and beaten up, she started taking care of him, and he was not used to it so he became sobby babyboy overwhelmed and couldn't helped it so he kiss the reader and things got escalated. iykyk

That's all for my rambling, thank you so muchhh!

Friends? But more and more

Martin x fem!reader

warning : +18, smut, oral (f reciving), small fluff/comfort, kissing, pain kink, wounds and treating

Summary : Friend or more? Was there something between them? Did it just take a trigger at the end to realise that there was more than just the hurt and the caring? Whatever it was, it seemed to be everything because when she felt his lips on hers, all worries seemed to be over and this something between them could finally be free and love each other.

info : Thank you very much for this request dear anon i'm glad i could give your rambling a little space. And I mean of course he loves us what else ;) Have fun reading and see you next time :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the morning hours of the small foggy town, a car with its owner makes its way to a relatively single house. A place she had been to many times, at least so often that she knew the way by heart, the things she could always pick up a few days later, whether it was a new seatbelt, a box of beer, a coat or just cigarettes.

It was a relationship between them like friends, like a salesman and his regular customer, she gave him what he needed and he…yes, what did he give her besides money and a little talk between them.

But maybe having him around was something she needed and had learnt to appreciate, because when the fog settles over the city you can get a bit lonely, the streets are barely visible, the houses are barely visible and you yourself are barely visible, you're glad of any contact, she knew that and she knew that Martin knew it too.

,,How bad will it be this time?" she asked herself as she turned into his street, her fingers drumming lightly on the cool leather of the steering wheel, no rhythm and looking ahead of her rather expectantly, knowing that it always looked different every night.

Sometimes he had little more than a bruise and some days she could almost have taken him to the hospital but he always waved her off, not only too annoying but also ruining his fun or so he had once mumbled to her.

Whenever she came to him he sat on his bed smoking, playing or just seemed to be living his life so tragically and yet so pitifully he didn't want that, whatever it was for him it no longer mattered as she parked outside his house and got out of her car wondering as she used the key if her helicopter was still intact.

The opening of the door always caused a creaking noise she heard moving around the room in the small flat, ,,It's me!" she shouted through the living room knowing he heard her, putting on a shirt and trying not to look quite so broken even though she was already used to the sight.

Her footsteps approached his room and the wooden door opened, her surprise was immediate when she saw him sitting on the edge of his bed, ,,Hi…glad you're here," he said, his long black beams falling into his mind almost as if his own body didn't want her to see what had happened to him again.

But she could have guessed it instead she just sighed slightly saw that the helicopter was back in its box and standing on the dresser ready to be picked up normally she would have taken the fifty dollars and sat in the doorway with him for another thirty minutes.

Talking about everything and nothing and would have left but now she was on her way to his kitchen knowing that she was once again doing him the etxra favour because maybe it was her heart that was stopping her from leaving.

Without a word she came back with the first aid kit she needed, stood in front of him and put her hand under his chin, ,,Please show me Martin," she said quietly, knowing how quickly he could change when he nevertheless gave in and looked up at her, a look of pain and satisfaction in her eyes, ,,You-You don't have to do it," he almost whispered as she told him to slide back a little further onto the bed so that she could position herself better next to him.

She could almost see how he went from relaxed to tense and wanted to push away from her while she came closer to him at the same time. Uncertainty ran through him as if he didn't know what to do, as if he was overwhelmed by her presence or maybe it was because he loved her closeness, he loved it when she was with him, her voice, her loving nature and also her body. But all this remained hidden from her for the moment.

She took care of him, gently stroking the strands of hair from his face, seeing his somewhat guarded expression, the warmth radiating from his body almost inviting as he held still, the warm cheeks almost pink as she was so close to him she would be lying if she said she didn't like him. He might have been a bit strange but who wasn't?

Everyone had a strange way about them and Martin she had often seen him like this, beaten up but happy, making videos, smoking and doing other special things in his world where she only had a small place.

But maybe this small space meant more to him, ,,Almost there" she said as she tried to wipe the crusted blood off him so that she could finally put the plasters on him properly when she suddenly felt his hand on hers, almost carefully he held her hand and she saw that his gaze was probably on her the whole time.

He held her hand not out of pain but out of affection, ,,Martin I-" she wanted to say something as they slowly got closer but the words were forgotten when she suddenly felt his lips on hers, he overcame the last moments between them and it felt like something had finally opened up between them.

It was as if this around between them, the looks, the touches had finally become worth something, ,,Finally" she murmured between kisses as she felt his hands on her body Martin seemed almost overwhelmed as he seemed too overwhelmed to finally have her, to finally be able to pursue his love heard the almost elated sigh of relief at her approval.

He had never looked sweeter, his eyes full of love and devotion, his hands on her, ,,May I?" he asked almost shyly as his hands were about to take off her clothes, smiling as she put her hands on his cheeks and gave him a gentle kiss, stroking his injury for a moment before she lay down on his bed and gave him permission.

Martin did not tear her clothes from her but rather carefully for every piece he took from her he kissed her skin caressing her and seemed to love every sound she made as if she was the most beautiful thing that had ever happened to him, he was unlike anything she had ever had.

He loved her he loved her like she was his everything with every kiss, with every touch and with every sound she made out of lust he only seemed to love her more as if he was grateful to her, as if she alone kept him alive.

She felt his kisses leave her torso and kiss up her legs, his fingers almost cautiously touching her centre, unsure if he was even good enough, ,,Mhh do-you do well," she said slightly breathlessly, straightening up for a moment to stroke his head, seeing him nuzzle his head against her hand, kissing her fingers, ,,I promise," came the muffled reply from him as she leaned back, caught by the soft mattress and blanket.

He planted a few last kisses on the inside of her thigh before she felt his fingers brush over the bundle of nerves, the first relaxed, pleasurable sounds of her lips leaving the pleasure of his previous touches, the kisses leaving marks from her neck, to her breasts, which he caressed even more gently, to her stomach and legs.

Her fingers clung to the bedspread as she felt his warm tongue on her fingers and he slowly began to make love to her physically, still a little insecure.

But with every sound she made, her fingers from the bed cover first clinging to his shirt, scratching his shoulders and burying themselves in his hair, she also heard the grunt as she pulled too hard on his black hair.

A noise she didn't know if it was too much pain or something else as she was beginning to understand why he was fighting with others in his car at night.

At first, wanting to let go of him in her mind, she only heard Markus say, ,,Go ah-on…please" as he let go of her and looked at her, his bright eyes filled with the veil of lust that had settled on hers, nodding faintly, barely perceptible but understandable as he disappeared between her thighs again and her fingers in his dark hair.

With each lick, each further sensitive electrifying shudder of her body through his caresses, she not only came closer to her high but elicited more and more moans from him, the pain as she held on to him pulling at his strands, tousling his black hair and using him for her pleasure as he wanted, he seemed to give her more and more.

He seemed to want to give her so much more from the start, unable to express his love in any other way than to love her so much that he would give her anything to show her how serious he was.

As she continued to surrender to him with each slight rise of her body as she was caught by the pillows and the mattress, the clutching in his hair, the muffled moans that escaped him, the tingling in her continued to increase, ,,Ma-Martin", she eventually burst out breathlessly, barely able to say anything right as she lost herself in his love and lust.

His breath came hotly towards her as he entangled her in one last kiss as his fingers slid in and out of her one last time, the taste of love and herself she could feel as she writhed against him, her moans mingling with his sighs as her climax was his pain and watching her melt beneath him.

Eyes closed, her chest rising and falling, she realised that the matzo was threatening to lighten as if he wanted to leave, ,,I'll…wait outside," she heard his soft voice, saw that he was licking his lips, reddening his cheeks at this obscene act as if he hadn't just seconds before pressed her completely naked against me and licked her centre.

She moved her fingers slightly, searching for his hand, ,,Please stay with me, Martin," she said, her voice slightly more composed as she pulled the blanket over him with some effort and stroked his cracked knuckles, which were little more than coloured spots.

It took the black-haired man a moment before he almost smiled a little and lay with her, the two of them looking at each other as she placed his hand on her hip, telling him that it was all right as he held her and she could finally close her eyes in peace as she felt his arms around her and kissed him peacefully as she fell asleep with a ,,Thank you…sleep well my heart" from him before her tired mind drifted off into a peaceful relaxed but above all pleasurable sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@dixie-elocin , @pierrotlu , @youre-gonna-see-a-lot-of-me , @paloman18 , @reylatargaryen , @fan-goddess

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for not making any of my characters, that I have to crank out daily, pansexual/polysexual/omnisexual specifically and only making them bi?

🏳️‍🌈👶🏼 so i can recognize this later lmao also I'm not panphobic or anything, this isn't about the validity of the label, pan is fine.

So i (20snb bi) have a project I'm working on where I take all the characters from a specifc media I'm into and pair them up with each other to make every possible ship kid from every possible ship(excluding characters who are kids themselves or are related or something, that shit is gross). Basically taking every character and pairing them up with another and creating a kid I think they'd have. Its a big project with lots of characters and I'm easily over 400 at this point. I really enjoy this, even if I'm not even 25% complete.

However I set a schedule for myself that at least one ship kid needs to come out each day which, considering I draw them, color them and give them some development and some even have siblings, (The refs themselves easily take me an hour to an hour and a half) I have to make lots of them quickly to keep up with my daily grind. I've been doing this project for over a year and although it's stressful, I can get them out quickly with breaks for myself.

Their character sheets all have some pretty basic info like their name, gender, pronouns, personality and more but it also includes their sexuality/orientation. I have a pretty basic list of options for what their sexuality will be: straight, lesbian, gay, Enbian, bi, Aro, ace and aroace with a few random things like polyam, WLW and a good amount of the something-loving-something/juvelic terms. I did this because, well, there's not many entirely unique orientations outside of them and although I love mogai/xenogenders and complex identities, I dont want to potentially drag up discourse or bring problems to my budding art blog over it. Its just not worth it to me to turn something I really care about on its head, even if I like microlabels.

In this case, I'm using bi as an umbrella term as most of the other terms share the same definition with slight variations in wording or action but not much difference in practice. We all like everyone, it's basic stuff. However, apparently this is a problem.

I've gotten one or two anons asking me questions about my guides asking some kind stuff like is this lesbian ship kid a butch or femme or Is this picture of them now or just at the age you put on the ref and other harmless stuff. Then things got rude with some Nbphobia but thrice now I've gotten asks:

1. Asking snarkily if im a panphobe

2. insulting me for not specifically writing pan or Omni and just writing bi.

3. Saying that I "clearly dont care about pansexual representation." Then brought up how my primary oc is native american so i clearly care about representation but that oc used to be a sona and I'm native?? Its confusing. (And Lowkey racist shit to just assume any native character is a "diversity quota" character instead of just a person existing but I digress-)

Im not pan, im bi so ig these people assume I'm not cool with pan people which isnt true? I have nothing aginest them, they are just pretty similar and I dont feel like it matters if they are specfically bi or pan or poly or any other label. I don't go into details like that for any other sub-group, not even pronouns and I included combinations and some common Neopronouns. I understand the importance of representation but my project has less than 50 people looking at it every day, Im not netflix or something. I'm one guy on the most LGBT blogging site with a big project and very little audience, I'm not showing people who wouldn't already know what pan is that pansexuality exists.

This project isn't that deep considering the characters in question aren't human/dont have human characteristics.(no it's not hazbin/helluva) Also ive never spoken about lgbt discourse or stated anything remotely close to it beyond the guides just passively having characters who are an LGBT identity. I've not even mentioned all the potentional orientations they could have so I'm not sure where/why this came up in the first place. The most politcial things ive said are calling out a creator in my fandom who outed themselves as a transphobe and mentioning im pro-palestine. That's it.

I mean this is pretty low stakes, I can just block these people and be done with it and this some seriously online shit but I just wanna check.

Am I being an asshole for just writing bi instead of specifying their mspec label because I have to produce characters quickly and I don't see enough of a difference to warrant a change/specification that would ultimately slow and clog an already stressful and complex project?

I dont think I am but idk lol

What are these acronyms?

[werewolfsmile]

re: "All I’m saying is the fact that someone isn’t talking to me about Eliot Spencer every second of every day is very unfair and borderline illegal." & tags - if you want to, can you elaborate on your werewolf!eliot ideas?? i’d like to hear about it!! if not all good tho :)

Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Yes I would love to elaborate! (buckle up because i have Thoughts)

(wow this really got away from me so uhhh .... warning for 2k of ranting about Eliot as a werewolf?? list of headcanons under the cut)

From the moment I first met Eliot Spencer, I knew he was werewolf-coded. Aside from his insanely fantastic fighting abilities and the absurd amount of punishment he can take, there are many other factors that contribute to his werewolf status.

Eliot needs a pack Our boy is out here working on his own for years and look at all the good it did him! None! He carries severe trauma from his family life because he blames himself for how it all went down and doesn't think he'll be welcomed back. Plus something probably happened during his military days or early PMC days to put him off working with others. Could have been the pain of losing people all the time, could have been something more. Either way, Eliot working on his own is a defence mechanism - but a self-destructive one.

Wolves thrive in packs - like duh, they're pack animals. As my username suggests, I'm into werewolves and, by extension, wolves. I've done research for my own werewolf novels in the past, so I know that in an average wolf pack, each pack member will have physical contact with the other pack members on the regular. Like, several times an hour! (gosh if I can find the research paper this info came from I'll link it but honestly it's been years) That's a serious level of physical contact required to keep the emotional bonds of the pack healthy!

Flick back to Eliot. He loves to fight, he loves the violence and the pain, yes. He hates the killing and the blood on his hands. He actually tries to leave the assassin world behind after he meets Toby (which is before he meets Moreau, as per early dialogue in The French Connection Job). He bonds quickly with Toby. Show Eliot a little love and care and he's yours for life! He moves onto retrieval work, then somehow ends up working for Moreau.

Now, when we see Eliot and Moreau in The Big Bang Job, Moreau says, "You work alone." Which means that Eliot had that reputation when he came to Moreau. He probably only took contracts to start off with. But he accepted job after job from Moreau and was so good that he was highly respect and it's inferred he ended up as Moreau's top bodyguard/assassin. Why the hell would Eliot end up that close to a man who brings out all the worst in him? Because Eliot's a werewolf and no matter how toxic, Moreau fulfills the need for a pack bond that he's been missing all this time.

Fast forward to Eliot meeting the rest of the Leverage team. One job only - my ass. He saves Hardison's life after Hardison brought a gun to their little meeting - and we all know how Eliot feels about guns.

Wolves are designed to live and operate in packs. Eliot says it's one job only but is bonding with them all from the get-go. Werewolf trait confirmed.

Eliot needs physical touch Now, I know what you're thinking. Eliot canonically avoids physical contact with the team. He refuses hugs, especially from Hardison, growls at Parker poking his bruises (don't get me started on the growls), and shoves people (ahem Parker) out of his personal space. So why would he do all this if he needs physical touch??

Because he's one gigantic ball of angst and self-loathing and guilt.

Eliot doesn't think he deserves forgiveness or love or family, etc. That is a whole other rant, but he denies himself the physical contact he needs with others as a way of punishing himself.

However, as the series progresses, we see him become more comfortable with physical contact! He hugs Hardison several times, he doesn't move away from Parker, etc. Why? Because he's bonded with this team (ahem pack) and there's only so much he can suppress his instincts. The more time he spends with them, the more naturally the contact flows.

Eliot needs to protect others Whenever we get a scene of the team walking as a group, where is Eliot positioned 90% of the time?? That's right, at the back of the group. He lets the others walk in pairs and falls back to bring up the rear. He's keeping them all in his line of sight and constantly scanning for threats ahead, along with protecting the team from any rear attacks. It makes sense for him to do this given his military background, but it also makes sense for a werewolf to do this.

He's the only werewolf in the team. His instincts revolve around keeping the pack safe and protected, so he does that in the best way he knows how.

Not to mention how feral gets over kids!!

Wolf life is all about the pack and the family structure. Pups are integral to the pack's survival and future. Eliot doesn't have kids of his own. But that doesn't stop his instincts from blaring every time he interacts with a kid, be it on the con or off. He takes time out every time to help that kid in an attempt to calm the raging storm of instincts inside his body.

Eliot needs to feed others It's another werewolf instinct that rears its head when they're in the safety of their headquarters (ahem den). Protecting the team/pack from physical threats is just one aspect of taking care of them. Feeding them is the other major one.

None of these idiots can cook to save their lives - except Nate, but he's also drowning his liver 90% of the time, so Eliot has to compensate for that, too. The team can't operate at full capacity if they're not consuming good nutrition. So Eliot makes sure to feed them.

His humanity recognises that these are independent people - coworkers - and he can't control every meal of every day. But he can cook for them, once a week or once a job, which is just enough to satisfy his instincts that he's doing his part to care for them. Plus they love his cooking, and the praise he gets from it is an unexpected but pleasant bonus.

Eliot and team sports/kitchens This ties in with my first point about Eliot needing a pack, but all the times we see Eliot go super hard and get absorbed in the role he's playing are when he's on a team sport or he's in the kitchen. Both of these fulfill super important instincts for him - being in a team/pack and providing food for others.

Think about The Tap-Out Job. Eliot's playing a fighter but he's not pretending to be on a team. He doesn't get over-invested in the role. But what about when he's a baseball player? A hockey player? He falls into those roles hard because he's working with another team again, and this little werewolf is built for that environment. Same in The French Connection: the kitchen becomes his den, the students are his pack mates, and he goes hard at investing in them and protecting them. Never mind the personal aspect of Toby.

Same for episodes like The Fairy Godparents Job when we get a scene of Eliot teaching a bunch of girls self-defence. Team setting + protecting kids = happy werewolf instincts.

So, werewolf headcanons? I have a lot of different origin theories but the main one I like for Eliot is:

he became a werewolf either for a covert military op, or was bitten by Moreau (choose your own angst flavour)

if it was for the military, they were trying to engineer supersoldiers and he was deemed a failure; he has werewolf instincts all the time but only has enhanced strength, healing, etc on full moons

if it was bitten by Moreau, there's a psychic-style bond linking them, which is why he was so loyal to Moreau for so long, and also why he is so reluctant to go after Moreau

(wow this is too different theories already and i said this was my 'main one' whoops)

Eliot can only shift easily on the full moon; shifting outside of a full moon can only be caused by extreme stress and is ridiculously painful

he suffers an insanely high prey drive all the time and is so strict about his control because he doesn't actually wanna rip out the throat of Random Guard #3

he used to chain himself up for full moons so he didn't hurt anyone, but since the team found out about him, Hardison and Parker have taken it upon themselves to 'puppy-sit' him every full moon

this involves no chains but an obscene amount of dog chew toys. Eliot is never impressed. He also never chases or chews the toys. The video evidence Hardison has was obviously doctored.

Hardison and Parker found out the truth when a con went sideways and Eliot was trapped in a room with them during the full moon

he was terrified he was going to kill them - or worse, bite them - but his instincts recognised them as pack so instead he just tried to wrestle with them all night

Hardison had a major freak out when he discovered Eliot was a werewolf - it's one thing to be obsessed with sci-fi/fantasy, it's another thing entirely to see your best friend transform before your eyes

Parker was not even remotely phased, being all like, "pfft of course werewolves are real, I thought you knew that Hardison, you talk about your elves and orcs all the time!"

"Woman that is completely different and you know it!"

"What else do you think is fake? The tooth fairy?? Ha!"

Eliot is Done With Their Shenanigans

Parker only ever refers to Eliot as Sparky when he's in his wolf form

Sophie didn't actually know about werewolves before the reveal but she pretends that she did

Nate knew about werewolves before Eliot, he just chooses to pretend that they're Not A Thing

werewolves generally don't make good hitters, because the constant exposure to violence ramps up their hunting instincts aka they find it hard not to kill

of course, this doesn't matter if you're someone like Moreau who specifically wants killing machines and thus turns his top hitters into werewolves, to ensure loyalty and enhance his strength

the only other werewolf hitter not under Moreau's control that Eliot knows is Quinn, who most certainly did not pull his werewolf strength punches when they tousled in The First David Job

Quinn doesn't have a pack (werewolf or otherwise) and genuinely doesn't seem phased by this, which pisses off Eliot to no end

however, after they work together in The Last Dam Job, Quinn deems himself Eliot's Best Werewolf Bud and keeps popping up randomly to hang out on full moons, etc

Parker and Hardison are a bit weirded out (and a little jealous) of Quinn's attention initially, but soon get over that when they discover that two werewolves on a full moon absolutely play for hours like 6 month old puppies - especially with the tug rope

Eliot is Extremely Susceptible to belly rubs even in his human form, which is half the reason he pushes people out of his personal space a lot - his reputation would never survive anyone finding out

of course the entire team figures it out and take to ambushing him with belly rubs whenever he's being stubborn or annoying

belly rubs are also the only way he will relax enough when he's injured so they can treat his wounds

despite the incessant dog jokes, the ever-growing pile of dog toys, and the bowls labelled with "Sparky" and cartoon bone symbols ... Eliot absolutely adores the pack he's found himself in and wouldn't change them for the world

One of these days I will sit down and write a thousand fics for werewolf!Eliot! Till then, I'll just keep churning out the headcanons ;)

[dangerousartisanwerewolf]

To all the Americans on tumblr rn...

I am not American, nor am I old enough to vote yet as I missed being the legal voting age for my province by only about a week- curse my extremely late birthday.

(which weirdly enough has also had such an incredibly tight election that they are still counting the votes right now even though it happened 2 weeks ago because the two parties are basically tied. }

but I am also very worried for you guys way down south. Hopefully America will put the right person into power this time and everything ends up being ok for you all. Not to be too cliché but I am sending thoughts and prayers and I hope you guys all stay safe down there. I honestly can't even imagine how you guys fell- I don't even live there and I've been feeling increasingly nauseous as the hours go by and I have had to offline for the most of the day.

Remember:

To take care of yourselves. Just in general, in whatever way you see fit

You absolutely do not have to live stream the election polling/results thing on TV, doom scroll election content the whole day long, watch the news, or consume any other election related content. As horrible as it feels to say this; the results will be the same regardless of whether or not you are watching it. Sometimes it is just better for you and your mental health to just log off of sm/screens for the night

If it all does feel like its getting too much for you, please log off/take a sm/screentime break

Most importantly, if you haven't already, please vote!!!! I am not American and am barley old enough to be considered a legal voter (Missed my own countries election *tears*) so I can't really help in terms of providing resources but I am sure there are all sorts that can help you I'm sure. I know that its getting late at night; some polls have closed already but not as many as you would think. I found out that most are actually open way later than I thought. As it turns out, some are even open til 1! You learn something new every day I guess!

Just Please, Please, Please go out and cast your ballot and make your voice known, with how close this is quite literally every voice matters!!! GO VOTE!!!

Poll closing times in case you need it (I only included ones that close 8pm and upwards because it is 7:30 at the time of writing this)

8 p.m. ET

Alabama

Connecticut

Delaware

District of Columbia

Florida (Polls in Eastern time zone close at 7 p.m. ET; part of Panhandle are in Central time zone)

Illinois

Maine

Maryland

Massachusetts

Mississippi

Missouri

New Hampshire (Polling hours vary by municipality and are listed by location here)

New Jersey

Oklahoma

Pennsylvania

Rhode Island

Tennessee

8:30 p.m. ET

Arkansas

9 p.m. ET

Arizona

Colorado

Iowa

Kansas (Polling locations close at 8 p.m. ET in all except four counties in the west)

Louisiana

Michigan (Polling locations close at 8 p.m. ET in all except four counties)

Minnesota

Nebraska

New Mexico

New York

North Dakota (Polls close at 8 p.m. ET in all but eight counties)

South Dakota (Polls close at 8 p.m. ET in the east)

Texas (Polls close at 8 p.m. ET for most of the state except three counties in the west)

Wisconsin

Wyoming

10 p.m. ET

Montana

Nevada (The polling location at City Hall in West Wendover closes at 9 p.m. ET)

Utah

11 p.m. ET

California

Idaho (Polling locations in the south close at 10 p.m. ET)

Oregon (Polling locations in Malheur County close at 10 p.m. ET)

Washington

12 a.m. ET

Hawaii

1 a.m. ET

Alaska (Polling locations close at 12 a.m. with the exception of Adak)

I'm not really sure what other useful info I could put as I don't know much about America or it's electoral system but I hope that helps.

A lot of people I have seen have been posting about how they feel sick to their stomach's and that they can't get off the news and how they just feel terrible so...

Things you can do to distract yourself for the rest of the night (And possibly the next few days, idk how long it takes to count votes)

Have an early bedtime/take a late nap (Only go to bed after 9 at least though, otherwise you'll mess up your sleep schedule and make you feel worse.) Just sleep your way througb it if you cant help it.

To add on to point one I often use asmr if I can't fall asleep right away/to distract myself. My favorites are: Jaden Aliana Asmr, Oceans Asmr, Kaitlynn Reha asmr, and my absolute favorite Goodnight Moon ASMR (Check out her babble brook, 1920's, or valley girl series')

Listen to a podcast (I like Rotten Mango- informative true crime, Buzzfeed unsolved- funny true crime/ghost hunting, Look behind you- also true crime, and Chris Chan; a comprehensive history)

Never too late for some cleaning! Clean your house, bathroom, bedroom, closet, do a deep clean.

If your a student like me- do your schoolwork! I know you have some studying or homework that needs to be done! Get on it!! I use the pomodoro method if that does anything

Have a self care night- do an everything shower or fancy bath, make facemasks, mani pedi's ect.

Watch a movie or marathon t.v shows you love/that are comfort shows (Some of my comfort shows are; Bobs burgers, Gravity falls, the moomins 1990, the office, what we do in the shadows, black books, derry girls, moone boy, and all creatures great and small and M.A.S.H. Some of my comfort movies are; Little women, the cornetto trilogy, Emma, Legally blonde, Pride and Prejudice)

Never too late for some cooking! One of my favorite hobbies is cooking and baking (Mostly baking) Make some chocolate chip and snickerdoodle cookies, muffins, cupcakes or try a fun cake.

Go for a night walk! Just make sure you bring a buddy and some flashlights of you're in total darkness like I am right now. (Love me a Canadian fall! Already snow where I am so of course that means everyone now needs to immediately put up Christmas decorations lol. At least the lights are nice at night)

Spend time with loved ones. Call or text a friend, spend time with your family, roommates, whoever. If your on campus at a uni see if there's literally any activities or clubs open at this hour you can go to

Read. I know you have a tbr you keep meaning to get to

Go on a research rabbit hole about something interesting. Try to learn something new. Some topics to get you started relating to where I live cause why not; Try to learn about : The Animals of Canada, Indigenous cultures and peoples of Canada- ex: try to learn some Cree or Halqemeylem phrases, try to memorize all of our provinces and territories.

Get through any chores you still have to do

Make/do something creative: Play an instrument, record a song, make a collage, paint, draw

Play some music, listen to your favorite songs on loop (Spotify's still collecting data for wrapped!)

Download a videogame on your phone- just one to pass the time even if its total addictive trash. Some ones I like: Moomin town- Idle, relaxing, town building, slowpaced, free, Miriam webster quizitative- free, wordgames, has an end to it, Toca boca hair salon- not free, hair salon game, endless, Toca boca town- not free but there are dupes, dollhouse game, bird bnb- townbuilding, slowpaced, as well theres all sorts of cute isle cat games; I like the grocery store and cafe ones

Make sure to:

Drink water

Eat at regular intervals

take breaks from screens (It'll hurt ya eyes)

get some sleep at some point

Don't sleep all day (Try to get up at a normal time)

if you feel like you need- put screen time limits on your phone. Or as well, turn down the brightness if you feel you have to doom scroll.

That's all for now. Hope you guys are doing ok and that the results are what we are all hoping for. Just know that you are in pretty much everyone's minds and we are all thinking of you (Even if we don't live in America). Stay safe and take care of yourself and your mental health.

Love, thoughts, prayers, and support from Canada/Tumblr and have a good night.

Congrats if you managed to get through this absolute brick of text. I commend you. I'll probably check back in tomorrow.

[rainstops]

fading remembrence

4nemo x reader

TW: reader dies (the cause of the death is a little detailed in ventis part), hinting at suicide in kazuhas part

info: for scaramouche, both wanderer and scaramouche is used

summary: you die right in front of the anemo boys, and they cannot seem to accept your death, because with your death it also felt like they lost their own life. you were their light.

a/n: wrote this in the middle of the night, while putting down my switch for two hours. also i will start to write for zelda totk/botw soon!!

whenever xiao ordered almond tofu at any restaurant, it always tasted the same. even when he cooked it himself. it always had the same taste. the tofu being as bland as tofu usually is, and the dish tasting sweet and like almonds. just what you would expect almond tofu to be. nothing more and nothing less.

but when you appeared in his life, xiao found out you liked cooking. and when you found out that almond tofu was his favorite dish, you immediately went out of your way to learn how to make almond tofu. knowing that xiao ate it a lot, you asked him if he could taste it. xiao did what you asked him to. but what he didnt expect was that the almond tofu tasted different. not in a bad way, but whenever you cooked it, it tasted like you had put your emotions onto a plate. like a little piece of joy, you served xiao. it was the first time, xiao could for sure say that he enjoyed something. but the word 'enjoy' did not feel like it was enough to describe the way he felt. he loved the dish, he loved how skilled you were at cooking it, but most of all, he loved you. and you loved him too. you loved him as long as you could. you loved him, before the passing of time took your life. xiao loved you a lot longer than just that. he loved everything about you. he loved the way you would smile at him, because you gave him a different smile you gave your friends, your family or strangers. when his immortality kept him right where he was, he realized how frozen in time he felt. for you everything moved on so quickly, and soon it was over. xiaos days remained the same old and blank routine before you showed up, and it returned to being the same when you left. but after your death, everything seemed to be so heavy. his eyelids, his arms, his legs, his head, but especially his heart. he searched all across teyvat, for a person, a restaurant or anyone, who could cook almond tofu the exacty way you did. he wanted to taste it again, even if it was just once more. he despaired when he couldnt find a way to make his favorite dish taste the way you made it taste, but his whole world crumbled only then, when he realized he couldnt remember how it tasted. he stopped counting the days and the nights he spend living, because why would it matter if he was slowly forgetting you?

he used to do it, so he could remember your birthday, or your anniversary, or any day that was special to you. but now you were gone, and xiaos memories were leaving as well.

☂

venti wrote many songs in his life. many of them telling stories, but just as many of them just there to sound pretty. but then when you showed up, he had someone to write songs for. he wrote them about you, and for you. and you sang the songs together. venti loved your voice. your voice was the best part of his songs. to him, it sounded like an angels voice.

not only your singing voice, but your voice in general. it made his heart beat so fast, it nearly sprang out of his chest. whenever you greeted him with a smile on your face, it was like all his worries and problems disappeared into thin air.

maybe he took it for granted. maybe he expected to be able to wake up everyday and sing in the kitchen with you while preparing breakfast together. maybe he just thought you could sing him to sleep every night.

well it so happened that that was not the case.

a member of the fatui took your life, and your angelic voice right with it. venti was there. venti was there, when the knife of the fatui found your back. the next moments were a mere blur to venti. he remembers getting rid of the fatui, and in the following moments, he held you in his arms, pleading to be able to hear your voice again.

he mumbled something along the lines of healing you, but you told him that it was too late. it was you who spoke those words, with the voice he loved so much. you lifted a hand to his cheek, and said the three words he loved hearing from you so much. a tear left his eye and fell right under your eye, on your cheek, making it look like it was a tear of your own. he held you in his arms tightly, like it could prevent you from leaving the world.

that was when you spoke your last words. 'thank you' they were. thank you? what were you thanking him for?

your eyes closed, and the smile you had on your face the last moments before your death left. your hand slowly sank from his face, and he held your hand. your hands were usually cold, but this time it bothered him. this time it felt like it was only pointing towards your death.

☂

the wanderer never held much appreciation for the people around him. that was until you came around. it was like you could see right through him, and his facade. like you could see the way he crumbled on the inside, not knowing how to handle his own emotions.

he loved the way you held his hand. your warm hand felt very relaxing against his usual cold one. often you would play with them as well. whenever he was having an especially hard day, because some people kept annoying him, you'd sit down with him. his head in your lap while you were massaging one of his hands. you'd listen carefully as he talks about the people that would annoy him throughout the day. at the end, you would give him a kiss on the forehead. although often enough he'd already been asleep by then.

but you seemed to know him better than he knew himself. you knew what he needed and when he needed it. whenever he was about to explode from anger, you hugged him, since you seem to very well know, that all the anger is build up from all the things that happened to him.

a tear fell as you held scaramouche close to you. one hand around his body, and the other on the back of his head, as his head was resting on your shoulder. the tears were wetting your shoulder but you didnt mind. you would do anything to make scaramouche happy again.

another tear fell, another one, and another one. but this time it was the day you died.

with widened eyes you dropped to the floor on your knees, scaramouche caught you before you could drop to the floor. a singular tear fell from your eye as well.

scaramouche held your body tightly against his, as if you would disappear if he would let go. in this scenario, this was the case, but no matter how close he'd hold you, there was nothing he could do.

he held you the way you did it, everytime he was upset. with an arm around your body, and a hand on the back of your head, while your head was laying against his shoulder.

'i cant breathe scaramouche. im scared'

were the last words you spoke, before your eyes slowly closed.

scaramouche had never cried that much in his life. not when he was betrayed so often, not when his mother threw him out like he was nothing, and not whenever you would comfort him.

scaramouches chest filled with regret. he wishes he would have been there for you at least as much as he was there for you. he wishes he bought you more presents for even just putting up with him. he wishes he wouldve just gotten over his ego and thanked you. he would do all those things and so much more, just so he could repay you.

☂

you remember the day so cleary, when kazuha confessed his love to you. his usually so casual demeanor was all gone, as his hands were shaking while holding a piece of paper. his face was bright red and his voice was shaking and cracking up, as he recited his self written poem for you. when he was done he wished for the earth to open up and swallow him whole.

when you started giggling he thought you were laughing at him. he didnt dare to look up at you, his gaze was only burning holes into the floor.

but when he really tensed up was when you jumped at him and threw your arms over his shoulders.

ever since then, kazuha had written so many poems for you, and you had stored them all very carefully. one after another.

one time for his birthday, you tried writing him one, and although it wasnt the best, he treasured it like nothing else.

but also he treasured you.

for your one year anniversary you gifted him an old gramophone. you werent sure if he was really going to like it, but he adored it.

ever since that day, most evenings were spend dancing to music, time passing so much faster than it seemed. your hands were locked and one of kazuhas hands was resting on your waist. one of his hands went through your hair.

on the first day you danced with him, he realized how much he needed you. you were his light, his hope, his everything. its why he calls you 'his star'

unfortunately, every star dies one day.

if you would ask him, his star died way to early.

on the night your light faded, a shooting star crossed the sky. kazuha knows youre only supposed to make one wish, but all of them crossed his mind at once. he wished he could dance with you again, he wish his fingers could make his way through your soft hair once more, he wished he could gift you more poems he wrote, and watch your eyes light up like the night sky does when the stars start glowing.

his breath hitched when he felt your hand touch his cheek once more. you gave him a last smile, and a tear rolled down your cheek. your hand fell from his cheek, but kazuha caught it mid air, and he held it to his chest.

later, a poem could be found on your grave.

in a moment of sorrow, please let me borrow, your healing light once more, before i am found at our seashore.

it was the last poem he ever wrote.

[inactiveobeymeblog]

can u do how the om brothers would react to a mc that is like. (for lack of better words) EXTREMELY dumb ..... like karen smith level slow💀

Lmao I LOVE this idea. The best part is that I can definitely relate to this lol.

Content Rating: SFW

Content Warning: None, GN!MC

Characters: ✨The Seven Brothers✨

Additional Info: MC is very slow to understand, the brothers are patient, shorter HC’s this time (sorry), we love dumbfounded MC, the brothers love MC

Lucifer

He finds it quite surprising, actually

That the fact that there is such a human who is so oblivious to so many things

He first noticed when you walked into his office and he was on a phone call, but you didn’t see he was and you just continued to talk

He had to tell you to hush

He also told you to be more aware of other people’s situations

But he loves that about you

He even finds it endearing

Mammon

You’re in the same boat as him

You both take so long to understand a joke and you often find yourself looking at each other with confused expressions

It will take you both at least a day or two to understand what something meant or recognize what was happening at a given moment

Sometimes if one of you find something out before the other, one of you will rush to tell the other

It’s a cycle you two repeat endlessly and it’s hilarious

He’s just happy he finally found someone who can relate to him

Leviathan

If you’re slow to figure something out, whether it be a “why does this character to this and that” or a “what do you mean by that”, prepare to have a very long rundown conversation

Levi LOVES to explain everything to you in very large detail

He also loves the fact that you will volunteer to understand everything about a show he gets absorbed in

That means pulling an all nighter to go through every single manga volume or watch every episode of an anime

And if you ever need to know anything, he’s got your back

He fawns over you and the fact that he gets to talk to such a human like you and express his love for things to you without hearing you complain

He’s head over heals for you

Satan

Usually, if you ever find yourself struggling to understand something in a book or something you’re studying, he’ll explain it to you in the most simple way possible

Or if you need a more detailed and longer explanation, he’s happy to give you one

He’s an excellent source if you ever need help with your R.A.D school work

He’s also a walking dictionary

So if you don’t know what a word means, just ask him

He gets an ego boost every time you go to him and not one of his brothers

He loves the trust you put in him

Asmodeus

He usually gets stumped on how to explain things you don’t understand that isn’t of the sexual, joking manner

But he’ll try extra hard just for you

Like if you don’t understand how makeup works, he’ll more so demonstrate than tell you

It’s easier for him

And if you’re more of a visual and hands-on learner, then you’re in luck!

Because he won’t give up until you’ve mastered whatever art you ask for help in, even if it’s a skill he isn’t an expert in

He just loves how he can be in your company for hours and not get tired of you

Beelzebub

It doesn’t matter if you’re well conversed in food culture or not, he will explain everything about a certain food item to you down to the very soil the ingredients were planted in

He would talk for hours just describing the taste of food or furniture

Make sure to get him a snack to munch on while you get him to talk about food or he might just start nibbling on your arm instead

He loves the way he can talk to you about his favourite snacks and meals without making you bored or tired of his nonsense rambling

Belphegor

Ask him where the best napping spots are and he’ll make a five page full analysis on where he thinks the best spots are

He’ll explain why if you ever ask

He will even invite you to his favourite; the attic

Then he’ll continue to explain there

He’ll also act as if it’s the best thing that’s ever happened in his life

I mean, he gets to talk to someone who actually wants to know about his favourite napping places?

Count him IN

He loves the way you will earnestly listen to him and he also loves the fact that you will fall asleep with him when he asks

A/N: I hope I answered your ask correctly! I hope everything made sense bc I didn’t go back and proofread anything. Thanks for reading! Thanks for requesting, anon! 💜

[wafflerageface]

Top 5: Favorite Durgetash headcanons

Like my personal headcanons or ones I’ve seen?

Personal headcanons:

1. Durgetash were head over heels in love with each other, even if they expressed love in ways that seemed fucked up to everyone else. They were two incredibly lonely people that just clicked in all the right ways to make each other feel like at least one person out there cared about them, and they did.

2. Enver Gortash is autistic/ADHD and Durge was his favourite person to info dump on. I mean look at him. My wife is autistic and they have very similar mannerism and ways of thinking. (In the logical sense anyway my wife hasn’t killed anyone) Especially with how his parents described how brilliant he was even as a child, I can just imagine child Enver coming off as annoying and needy to everyone around him because he wanted to talk about his inventions and no one cared to listen. Durge, on the other hand, grew up in a temple where they were expected to behave a certain way and was essentially treated as a puppet, even if they could’ve called the shots how they wanted to. I can’t imagine being a child taken into a murder cult and feeling anything but fear, even if you don’t need to be afraid. Durge knew nothing but blood and death for years, and along comes this funky little guy that wants to rant for hours about the kind of metal he wants to build his steel watch out of?? Yeah. They loved that shit.

3. Enver is a pansexual monster fucker that will love your Durge no matter what. This man has been so lonely for so long that I genuinely think he doesn’t care what package the love comes in so long as he isn’t being used anymore. You’re a Dragonborn? Cool he can work with that. A tiefling? Excellent he’s gonna use those horns as handlebars. A cute half-elf that has a surprising appetite for blood? Absolutely and can he join the next blood bath please?? He loves seeing you work

4. Durge did not want to be Bhaal’s scion. I know a lot of people don’t like how the Durge opening makes it seem like they’re trying to “erase” that Durge was evil, but I view it more as perhaps Durge was never willing. Just because you’re fathered by a murder god doesn’t make you a murderer, and amnesia doesn’t really change who a person is, they just forget. Your brain literally just won’t let you recall memories. Now personally, I’m all for if you think your Durge hates everything about being the Chosen, or (like for my Durge) you think they just hated not being in control of themselves or allowed to kill as they please. Both are great mechanics for a well-rounded character, but I really think either way, Durge hated being what their father made them into, and would have jumped the moment they could escape. The prayer of forgiveness? A classic here’s my fake apology abusive parent so I can spare myself more abuse.

5. Enver whored himself out as a young man to get lots of power and money and he hated every second of it. We know it’s canon that he slept around a lot before the present day setting of the game, but I don’t think he ever enjoyed it. Not really. He grew up in the HoH where he was beaten and abused and nearly tortured to death on many occasions. He finally escapes with nothing to his name and once again he’s at the mercy of whoever he can convince to give him food, shelter, money, etc for the price of his body. This man absolutely has two wolves inside of him and one is a god complex and the other is an ego so crippled and fragile it’s a wonder he ever comes out of the house. When he meets Durge, he’s willing to manipulate them however he must to secure their alliance. He’s done it before, he’ll do it again. I think he’s so very surprised when Durge catches feelings back, when they go out of their way to take care of him, compliment him, even if it’s in their own fucked up fashion. I think the real sticking point for him would be when he and Durge are attending some high society to do together and they run into an old fling. Enver being upset and uncomfortable enough that they leave early and he tells Durge everything. The next day, and the following weeks, he finds severed hands, fingers, bloodied jewellery, all placed at his desk or beside his bed and he can’t help but smile. Durge bringing him pieces of their kills like a cat is so endearing to him.

I’ve got so many more but I think those are my favourite.

[babiebom]

Hiiii. I hope ur ok with my just constantly being like *ahem* spencer reid 👉🏻👈🏻🥹🥹. I loved how you wrote him in the last request! I feel like a lot of the time, people write him very ooc - just bc he can be hard to get written the right way, but like that's my boy, look at him spitting random facts for HOURS 🥰🥰?? Like yes, pls info dump on me while I stare at u lovingly, Spence 💞.

I recently came to terms with being ftm, but it's almost impossible to find any male! reader x Spencer Reid content. Which can be very dysphoric 😵‍💫. Which sucks! Bc holy hell, there are some fuckinnn amazing writers out there writing fanfics.

So now, I have come to you, an amazing writer out here writing fanfics, to beg ask if ud be down to write any kind of oneshot with Spencer Reid dating a male reader! It honestly doesn't have to be anything specific - romantic, angsty, enemies to lovers, slow burn, whatever peaks ur interest atm!

I would just love, love to have that content with Spence & a male reader if you're down for the task! Thank you so so muchh 💓. Hope ur having a wonderful morning / afternoon / evening !

A/N:im sorry this took so long!! I’ve been busy working (blegh) and I wanted to write something sweet for you!! I’m happy you’ve come to terms with being ftm!! As a cis identifying person myself I can’t say that I know how it feels, but I am VERY happy that you’re more comfortable with your identity!! Also never worry about being too “crazy” over Spencer I’ve been obsessed with him since I was about 5 or 6 (yes it’s been a long time)!! I’ll try more to write in a more gender neutral way when writing anything reader insert related that way you can enjoy my writing without feeling left out or anything!! Always let me know if there are things I can do better <3

Tw: maybe some cursing but overall should be wholesome

Wc: 0.54k

Criminal Minds Masterlist

Spencer Reid often came home dejected after a case gone wrong, it was often that he came home tired but happy after a successful case. It wasn’t often, however, that he came home excited for a break; but then again he hadn’t had a boyfriend to come home to on previous breaks. Now, as you watch him walk through the front door of your shared apartment, you can’t help but grin at the absolutely goofy look on his face.

“Emily gave us all 4 weeks off to rest after our latest case, so that means I get four WHOLE weeks of you to myself! Isn’t that great?” He lets out a giggle after he finishes speaking, putting his bag down on the kitchen counter. You didn’t even have to ask him why he was so giddy, he answered unprompted.

“It is great!” You try to match his energy, only seeing him this excited for the first time since you’ve met. He brings you into his embrace, hugging you so tightly that you think you might die if he squeezed you any tighter. “So what are your plans now that you’re a free man for four whole weeks?”

“Well we could go to the park and play chess, or stay here and play chess but I think the sunlight would be good for both of us. Or we could go to the movies, or take a class together, or…”

“Your plans are to just have dates with me every single day?” You ask, quirking an eyebrow.

He nods as if the answer is the most obvious, concrete fact in the universe. He looks at you, not as if you’re dumb, but as if to say ‘duh what else would I be planning to do?’.

The two of you move to sit on the couch, enveloped in each other as he talks about the many, many dates you’re going to go on now that he’s free from his time constricting job. “What if I don’t wanna do those things?” You ask playfully. He shrugs.

“It doesn’t matter what we do, as long as I get to do it with you”.

“Oh?” You look at him as if he said something scandalous, “I didn’t know you had that big of a crush on me.”

He shoves you gently, rolling his eyes at your attempt to joke off his sweet words.

“You’re joking but studies have found that couples who have regular date nights more often result in higher relationship satisfaction, better communication, and a stronger emotional connection. Us going on dates during these four weeks will be better for us in the long run.”

You don’t reply, or interrupt. It’s always amusing to listen to him ramble on and on about facts that he finds interesting or applicable to the conversation. And all it does is make you fall more in love with him, seeing how serious he is about your relationship working out in the future. He says that he loves you often, but it’s things like this; seeing and listening to how much he genuinely cares about your relationship.

Being the boyfriend of a pretty boy genius has its perks, and how much he cares about you compared to others is definitely one of them.

[antivanbrandy]

i wanted to take a crack at the relationship chart meme for bg3, but made life harder for myself in the process by doodling everyone asdfghjkl

a bit of info about the relationships under the readmore!

so to start from the top and work around clockwise:

Astarion: her best friend, her partner, and love of her life. his flippant hot-n-cold attitude at the start of their relationship (she failed that first big insight check so she didn't know it was all an act at the start) leaves her feeling bad about herself at times, but once they have their Act 2 heart-to-heart, their relationship only goes from strength to strength. we all know what a supportive and loving tav does for spawn!Astarion, but over the course of their adventure he supports her, too. they make each other stronger.

Rhapsody's self sacrificing need to help everyone, no matter how thin it spreads her, comes dangerously close to breaking her by late Act 2. Astarion talks her back from the ledge, so to speak, and helps her realise why she's doing it (Family Trauma Hour 2, Shitty Father Boogaloo) and the harm it's doing her in turn. it's purely self-interest that motivates him at first, because if she burns out then his protection and best chance at taking on Cazador goes with her, but once he comes to care for her his motives are much kinder.

i have so many post-game thoughts for these two, which includes an eventual cast of good old Reincarnation (which i honest to god rolled for and nearly squawked at the outcome) and the very specific complicated feelings that digs up for them, but if i keep typing i'll be here all day.

-

Gale: truly one of her best friends. she could sit with him in silence, just reading together, or her playing an instrument while he studies the weave, and be perfectly content. Rhaps is a lore bard, so she really enjoys swapping stories, information, and theories with him. she's also a big fan of his cooking, and enjoys the simple companionship of doing vegetable prep while he cooks and they chat together. she'd go to bat for him against anyone.

-

Wyll: a dear friend, and inspiration for more than one epic ballad (which makes him proud-blush every time). they swap tales, often together with Karlach, and he's been known to join her in a song and dance when she plays at camp if he's feeling in the spirits. they bond over complicated relationships with their fathers, love of good red wine, and most importantly, their unflinching dedication to helping people in need.

-

Lae'zel: their relationship is complicated. they both operate on a level the other just does not understand, and chafe against the others attitude to life. they grow to respect each other, but never truly become friends, which is sad because Lae'zel does get to a point where she'd like to extend that offer but has no idea how to voice her growing fondness, and then the adventure is over and she leaves with Voss.

-

Minsc: definitely a friend, even if they're not especially close. for his part, Minsc is delighted when Rhaps comes up with a little ditty about him ('from top to tail, evildoers do fear - Boo gnaws their eyes, Minsc kicks their rear!').

-

Jaheira: Rhaps' liked Jaheira immediately, as soon as she clocked the wine was spiked and Jaheira gave her that knowing smile and asked her to drink anyway. Rhaps grew up starved for parental approval and attention, and there's an undeniable current of Momther™ that carries with Jaheira's approval, stories, pick me ups, and pep talks that she latches onto very quickly. Jaheria herself is reluctant to be seen as a mother figure, she has her own kids after all, riiiiiight up until the point the gang come face to face with Rhaps and Aisling's father and she sees first hand how she's treated and how much she wilts in his company. After that it's just kind of defiant instinct, if a parental-flavoured pep talk is what the cub needs to get through the end of days, that's what she'll get, and her old man can go get fucked.

-

Shadowheart: Shadowheart and Rhapsody have a rocky start - Shart's combative attitude puts Rhaps on the backfoot, and they have a two steps forward one step back slow-crawl to understanding each other. There's a bit of a blow-up between them in the shadowlands that sets them back even more; Shadowheart's constant sneering and too-edgy-for-you remarks regarding Selune and Selunite magic grate on Rhapsody, who is already spread desperately thin by this point and is absolutely baffled Shart can't keep it buttoned for ONE minute when Selune is all that's standing between the people at Last Light -the tieflings she fought tooth n nail to save- and a gruesome death. and the more evidence they see of Shar's cruelty in the shadowlands, the more Rhaps begins to truly understand what Shar is capable of and the thinner she's spread from trying to help people in this bleak situation, the closer she gets to lashing out, until eventually Shadowheart goes one snippy comment too far and Rhaps blows up at her. they have it out, and it's bad, but when they eventually make up afterwards theyre stronger for it, and by the end of Act 3 theyre a lot closer than they ever thought possible.

-

Halsin: Halsin is a calming presence in Rhapsody's life. she thought turning down his offer was going to make things awkward for them, but it never did. there's a lot to learn from him, and a call to a calmer life and a sense of peace that Rhaps feels most keenly when she's out in nature with him. the druidic life isn't for her, but those moments of peace do wonders for her when she needs it.

-

Karlach: darling dearest bestest friend, platonic love of her life, sister from another mister, 'would absolutely ride the rollercoaster in the front car with you' bestest best friend forever. Rhapsody adores Karlach, admires and is inspired by her. Rhapsody has had very little interaction with other tieflings, and in comes Karlach full of friendly cheer and good humour and a massive heart, emotional vulnerability and honesty and cheeky smiles, all things Rhaps is drawn to and wants to be. she'd do anything for her, go to any lengths, and I can't even begin to describe how heartbroken this makes her on that dock at the end.

[xbeezchaos]

BPD Scaramouche Pt.2

We’re back again with another scara with my bpd life experiences. But this time. I’m gonna make a list of things that I’ve done in a relationship and what I feel like he’d do as well. So here you go 🖤

He’s very loyal to you, obsessed really, he loves everything about you

He spends his time with you memorizing everything he could about you. Down to the very last detail.

His love language is a bit of a mix, but the top ones are gift giving and words of affirmation. He enjoyed physical touch a lot contrary to popular belief. But he’s not one to be ok with PDA.

Lots of pet names. And I mean a lot. Not really a trial and error thing but more like the more cute pet names he has for you the better.

His favorites to use are “bubs, honey, and sweetheart.”

Hyper sexual and touchy but also touch starved. Loves the idea of being able to feel you up and be felt up sensually without venturing further after that.

If you’re just friends with him, but give him anything from a pet name to special attention— he’ll flirt with you and become obsessed if it’s enough.

Can and will have meltdowns/anxiety attacks if he doesn’t feel heard when he’s talking or arguing

Will offer to use arson, murder, and multiple kinds of vehicles to crush anyone who hurts or annoys you

Recommends gaslighting as a way to prevent yourself from trouble

Loves stuffed animals. Buys way too many that match his aesthetic and will hurt anyone who gets them dirty.

Will go above and beyond for gifts. It doesn’t matter how much money, time or effort it takes. For you, anything and everything was always worth it.

Will keep a book with your info in it. From blood type to family and friends along with how to contact them

If you’re not home when he is or you disappear. He’ll freak out and do everything in his power to track you down if you’re gone for too long

If the above thing happens and he has to track you down. Where ever you are he WILL tackle you and have a sort of meltdown admitting how he thought something happened to you

He’d rather die than let anyone think they’ll ever have a chance with you. He loves showing you off every where he goes.

He’ll never miss a chance to kiss you. Sit you on his lap, hug you, fight someone for you, or hold your waist and rub circles in them

Is a sucker for love notes/poems. If he’s ever upset with you. No matter how big or small, slip him one of those and he’ll be easier to talk to than ever

Soft spots? Target his neck, hair, waist, and legs. Best way to really overpower him if you want.

If you’re taller than him >>>> use that to your advantage. He secretly loves when you’re taller

Let him pick you up, treat you like royalty. But he will expect the same treatment in return

Hates when people are overly sexual upon first meeting. He’ll push you away and get disgusted

Takes anywhere from a few months to a few years to open up entirely and it all depends on trust

When he gets comfortable he can be so raunchy and down bad it’s scary and can sometimes be addicting. All dependent on your taste

Does well with kids. But hates them. Likes laughing at the dumb stuff they do.

Loves doing your hair. And if he doesn’t know how to do something. He will learn just for you.

Will dress you up like his own little doll, he just loves the idea that he gets to make you all the more pretty and show off the outfits he makes for you to wear throughout your day.

Steals your clothes to sleep with them/wear them around all day. He doesn’t care what it is. If he can fit it into his outfits trust he’s wearing it.

A conversation held after you were gone for a surprise commission for 12 hours:

[Your Name]”What did you do?! There’s 200 missed calls on my phone and over 40 text messages on each app!”

[Scara]“At least you know I care. I even called a few hospitals to make sure you weren’t admitted. So ungrateful.”

[Name] “Why did you do that?! This is so baaad!”

[Scara] “If you think that’s bad wait until you find out I told every hospital we’re engaged to be married. Haha!”

You didn’t find that part very funny

Anyways. This concludes another part to Scara with BPD! Let me know if you’d like more and my ask box is very very open. 💋

[kaija-rayne-author]

Review 2 in series for Dragon Age Veilguard

Spoilers for Veilguard

First part of review series is below.

I'm not an asshole disclaimer (same as the first one, if you read that, you can just skip down to the cut.)

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I'm on media blackout while I play this, so I'm only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

9 hours in, 7 hours playtime.

Negative review

While I'm incredibly grateful that I can play this game, because I really hope the story actually starts soon, (yes, I said it, the pacing on this is terrible, and I'm both an editor and a writer, I have a clue). I hate to say... I am soooo glad I didn't buy it. Or I'd be demanding a refund. I didn’t actually look at the price tag, but it must’ve been around $80 Canadian. Given our cost of living crisis, that's obscene but whatever. Games are expensive.

It's just not worth that much in its current state. Sure. Games on release often have bugs. I kinda hate spending money to be an unpaid beta tester. BG3 had nowhere near as many.

My computer comes down right around the middle of the minimum and recommended specs. DA4 doesn't even make it get hot like BG3 makes it. So I'm really thinking glitchy game vs computer issues. Considering I'm not the only one it's happening to... welp. (I looked the glitch up, it's pretty common.)

5 out of 10 loads, my character glitches back to the stock elf body. And if I continue playing, it corrupts my saves and they won't load. It has also happened mid-battle, too. So I have to figure out which save to go back to before the glitch bit. Which, without pics in the save files is fun /s.

'Balanced' play isn’t. I play on tactician/hard in most games. I'm on balanced, and keep fucking dying. TBH I'm not extremely awesome with the controls and moves yet, but I'm not bad either. I honestly just think the bad guys are too overpowered (way too fast, hit too hard, and it takes too long to break their armour) for beginning levels. And yes, I have my Rook in the best armour I currently have. Maybe if I could carry more than 3 potions, it wouldn't matter as much, but IDEK man.

And you know what isn't actually any fun in games? Dying a lot. Also? Having to drop my difficulty level for regular bad guys less than ten hours into the game. It's still teaching me moves ffs, so is sorta the tutorial. I'm not a 'get gud' type. I think that's ridiculous. Gaming is supposed to be fun. If it makes it more fun to drop the level for a boss fight or whatever, more power to you. But I usually don't have to until end-game material. If I have to at all. It's honestly pretty rare. Load time is ridiculous, so every time an over-powered not-a-fucking-darkspawn slams my rogue (which I swear shouldn't be possible, I know how to fight with rogues, they're my first and favourite class), I get creamed because I'm bloody stuck in a place I shouldn't get stuck in.

I know they had testing on this. Wasn't that why the date was pushed back? My memory isn't great since COVID but I think I might’ve seen that somewhere.

Solavellans will likely be disappointed in the first seven hours. You see Solas twice. He may as well not even be in the game.

And I really hate to say this, but I'm just bored. I wasn’t itching to play it like I usually am with good games. (If a game catches me up, it's about the only thing I want to do.) I still loaded it up tonight, didn’t have anything better to do. (Because I'd probably have done that instead.) I'm mostly playing so I know what happens in the story myself. And I was hoping we'd get some answers to all this lore that lives in my head, rent free. So, whatever, I'm still hoping it will catch me up. I'll keep playing in hopes we actually get something resembling a story at some point soon.

And the number of editorial errors is ridiculous. Both developmental and copy.

'Cause bodies can't decompose in the Anderfels? Because nothing external lives there? Granted, I have specialized knowledge there (former forensic anthropologist) but, that isn't remotely how decomp works.

Does your 3 week old raw hamburger not rot because it was in a cold, dark place without any external decomposers? (My 17 year old knew the correct answer to that, so did my 12 year old.)

The primary forms of humanoid/mammalian decomposition come from inside us. Bugs don't even start showing up for a bit. Why do you think bodies bloat? Our gut bacteria going wild. Why do you think bodies are routinely embalmed? No bugs (usually) in a funeral home or morgue either.

And y'know? I actually outright told Epler on Twitter (before it went to complete hell) that he needed a better editor or 4 after playing DAI. And DAV already has more editorial issues than I noticed in the whole first half of DAI. Way to prove my point.

I'm an exacting editor. I'm pretty good at it. And I don't expect perfection in anything. Perfectionism is a trauma response, after all. But so many errors so soon? Really?

I'm not even getting into the story issues. Because I'm still hoping we actually, y'know, get to a story? And if I'm really lucky? That story will cover some of the glaring errors.

But so far? I'm not impressed. I've never, since I started playing DA games, been fucking bored.

Next one is here:

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for obviously covering my nose and mouth around smokers at work? (Tw for a very brief mention of sexual assault and mentions of bigotry)

To preface I'm fully aware that WHAT I'm trying to do is justified, I just don't know if the HOW is a problem.

Some context about my working conditions: I work in an outdoors location. I sit at a table at the front gate and check bags and permit entry. Where I sit is a fairly small open area at the base of a large set of stairs before the place people are actually coming to see. Smoking, drinking, etc is allowed everywhere on premise including the small area I sit at for eight hours a night. 90% of the patients drink (not the point of the post but to display how lax the type of event I work at is), and 50% of the adults MINIMUM smoke. The ticket booth is right beside my booth and people will stand there for up to 5 minutes on a not too busy night smoking as they wait. The customer base is nearly entirely white and almost 100% Republican. They wear MAGA hats, fly confederate flags, wear blue lives matter shirts, and try to yell at me about chemtrails if I don't shoo them away from me. I've been sexually assaulted, harassed for being Russian(?????????), called anti-trans slurs, have had weapons pulled on me, etc. And as I've said....... pretty much all the patrons are drunk. So I CAN NOT wear a mask for my own immediate safety. This is also not an every day issue as I work for an event specifically that only takes place once or twice a month

Now as to why smoking is an issue: I'm allergic to cigarette smoke. I don't remember exactly what part causes the reaction but I very quickly have a reaction to it. I assume it's something most every non smoker goes through experiencing second hand smoke: nausea, vomiting, dizziness, fainting, etc. It just happens to me VERY quickly. Now, if they don't have bags for me to check and just breeze on by after getting their tickets, I hold my breath for a quick minute until the air at least doesn't actively feel gross to breathe in. Minute is an exaggeration, because of a disability I have I can't hold my breath for more than 20 seconds. When people with bags for me to check come to my table and are smoking, I try to severely limit my breathing until it's done because I'm directly dealing with the customers and have to breathe. Where my methods might be asshole-ish come into play with the people who choose to stand around and smoke instead of leaving the area

I use my shirt/jacket to cover my mouth and nose. When it's cold I try to at least make it look like a keeping myself warm thing. It's not perfect, it's not like I'm suddenly immune to second hand smoke, but if they're only around for five minutes or so it does WONDERS keeping me from getting sick. I used to try harder not to be obvious about it, but going home throwing up and sneezing out tar for days after I work so many times has made me a bit more "idgaf if they're offended by it" sometimes. The thing is, I don't WANT to be rude about it though. My goal here isn't to cause a problem, which is the biggest concern with the customer base, but to just keep myself safe. When I try to just suck it up and take no measures to reduce the amount of smoke I'm directly inhaling, I've gotten so violently ill I've been unable to actually do my job. Admittedly I've never made a serious attempt to just ask people to not smoke around me, but in my defense it's because the response in the past has been for people to flick their cigarette ash at me and get up in my face. I think I might be too replaceable for there to be any kind of enforceable rule about not smoking in my direct vicinity

So I repeat: AITA for covering my face at work when people smoke right beside me? (And if so, any other solutions you could think of would be nice!)

What are these acronyms?

[nowoyas]

koi no yokan 19: make it to dinner (nishinoya yuu/reader)

First - Prev - Next - M.list - Ao3

A/N: note the date for the next update--I'll be out of town next saturday so next update will be on friday, the 25th. I've been building a proper obsidian vault for this fic and it's doing wonders, honestly, even if my drafting has slowed while I take the time to collect all my planning info for this fic in one spot. it's actually possible that, given time, I might be able to tell you how many chapters this fic is supposed to have NOT within three chapters of the ending. that would be neat.

Summary: You attend your final follow-up appointment before the training camp. Your time at the Nishinoya household comes to a close.

Warnings and tags: blanket series warnings, light emetophobia (non-explicit), child neglect

Words: 5100+

Two days before you're meant to leave for the training camp, you show up to practice two hours late with a popsicle hanging out of your mouth and two more boxes for the club to share. Unfortunately, your lateness isn't something you can teasingly blame Noya for—you spent the morning sitting in the doctor's office, legs swinging off the edge of the examination table as you waited alone.

Last time you went to the doctor, you'd taken the bus there alone in a mask with a barf bag in a death grip in both hands. You'd had to leave a note for your father next to the front door that'd said sick with flu, please don't wake me up, and it hadn't moved when you finally made it downstairs after two days of throwing up every hour on the dot like some sort of fucked up nightmare cuckoo clock. No matter what the doctor said this time, the memory leaves you melancholy—this time, Noya's grandfather waited for you, ruffled your hair and offered popsicles when you told him the news.

It feels nice to know someone's in the waiting room for you.

The melancholy had lingered until you crashed practice on Takeda's blessing, in exchange for a copy of the concussion protocol the doctor had sent you on with. Outside, you bask in the sunlight and the still relatively cool ambient temperature of the day, hoping maybe the sun and watching the guys bicker like a flock of seagulls with a single french fry between them will bring your mood up.

"Thanks for the popsicles, [name]-san!" Tanaka says, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You affect a smile. "Nah, don't thank me. Jii-chan suggested it and paid for it. I'm just the delivery girl."

A warm presence at your side. You lean into Noya a little, let your shoulder press into his. "Marry me."

You're growing too comfortable with him, you think. You've ended up the same way every night for almost a week: dinner with the family, getting ready for bed (finally able to lay out your futon without help), and then falling asleep in Noya's arms. Occasionally, Soba would join in, and you wake up to purring and a sweet ball of fluff and love having wormed her way into the space between yours and Noya's overheating bodies or otherwise pressing her head insistently into your hand. In his futon, in your futon. Just together, close enough that you're not convinced you wouldn't be able to know him from the feeling of his shoulders or his back alone.

"Nine hundred and five. I just said it was your grandfather whose idea it was and who paid for it, so I don't know why you're asking me, though."

"You're finally calling him Jii-chan," he grins. "He know that? He's been insisting on it all week."

"Shut up."

"He's probably gonna throw a party or something," Tanaka laughs. "I've met the man three times and he's always super friendly. Two of those times, he had some hot chick on his arm, though."

You stifle a laugh. "Really? I haven't seen him bringing any women home while I've been there."

"You're still staying at Noya-san's, right?"

A nod. "Otoo-san's still out of town, and I only recently started being able to handle the stuff like laying out my futon and cooking without getting dizzy, and not after a long day of doing other stuff."

"Jii-chan's told her to call him Jii-chan at least a hundred times," Noya laughs. "Okaa-san told him not to bring anyone home while [name]-san was staying. Speaking of, weren't you with him this morning for a reason? How'd it go?"

"Oh yeah, that." Your face falls a little. "I guess it went okay."

"You guess? What'd he say?"

A shrug. "You know. Gave me a whole packet of restrictions and a plan and everything. Already handed a copy over to Takeda-sensei, so…"

"So…? Are you allowed to come to the camp?"

You bounce on the balls of your feet idly. "Well, I need you to help me carry some stuff today. I'm still a little limited on exercise and can't be carrying stuff up and down stairs. Too strenuous."

"Carry some stuff…?"

"Yeah. I gotta pack."

"Yeah, sure." He pauses. "Wait, you're coming, then!?"

You can't suppress the smile any longer. "Guilty. There's a whole bunch I'm not allowed to do, and I have to take naps after lunch, doctor's exact wording was 'sleep as long as you can put up with', which is gonna be annoying. I can't even run unless, quote, 'I'm being chased by an axe murderer and I don't think I can beat them in a fight'."

"Damn. That's pretty strict," Tanaka says. "It's great that you're coming, though!"

The wind is knocked out of you a little as Noya throws his arms around your shoulders. "Thank the gods. I was going to wither away without you in arms' reach."

You roll your eyes. "I'm sure you were—"

You're cut off in a screech as something cold lands on the back of your neck, and then Noya's bolting, laughing over his shoulder.

That motherfucker just put his popsicle against your neck.

"Wh—you are so annoying, get back here!" You move to give chase as he runs out of reach. "I swear to god, if that got in my hair—"

"You can't chase me, you can't chase me!" he calls back frantically. "Concussion restrictions, no running unless you're being chased by an axe murderer you can't fight!"

"I know where you keep your hair gel, you demon—"

Tanaka grabs you with one hand, sheepish grin on his face. "No running, remember?"

"I'm sure the doctor will forgive me for this one," you reply, voice icy cold.

He looks between you and Noya, who's stopped several meters away to watch you with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

"Yeah, probably. Go for it."

He releases you, and you bolt after Noya, set on revenge.

Neither of you feel very guilty when Sawamura starts lecturing you.

~

You stop at Sakanoshita on the way home. Grab some nikuman. Walk right past Noya's place to get to your house. There's a touch of fear as you approach your place—your father was home when he wasn't supposed to be before. What are the chances he's home now?

The fear doesn't release until you're stepping inside, until you scan the genkan and don't find his work shoes there. Noya eyes you as you sigh in relief, but doesn't press for an explanation, and then, just like that, you're tugging Noya up the stairs to your room.

Something is wrong when you get there. It's quiet. Which makes sense, seeing as it's empty except for you and Noya, who's being empathetic to your edgy mood and therefore not talking much yet. It isn't how you left it, but you can't place what's off about it.

"Senpai," you say slowly. "Did you come up here at all when you came to check on things for me?"

He shakes his head. "Nah, I just focused mainly in the kitchen. I think your dad would have called the cops if I tried to go up to your room alone after the conversation we had. Why?"

"It's just… wrong, I guess. It's probably nothing. It's not like I remember exactly how I left it or anything, but…" Your eyes scan the room one last time. "I know didn't hang my futon up when I was here. Rina-san wouldn't let me."

And yet, there's your futon, propped up against the wall. Someone's been in here while you were out.

What kind of robber breaks into a house and props up someone's futon? Nothing's particularly missing. It's not like there's a mess. "Y-you're sure you didn't come up here?"

"I'm sure. I did the dishes, I took out the trash, and I called your father an old man to his face."

Your mood darkens. Of course no one broke in.

"What all did you say to my father when he was here?" you ask in a measured tone. You stride across the room, begin pulling out the shirts you'll need for camp.

He laughs. "He asked what our relationship was or something like that. I asked him if it wasn't obvious. He didn't like that."

…so your dad probably thinks you have a boyfriend now. Cool. You can work with that. That doesn't explain this, though. "Anything else?"

"Um… let's see… he wanted proof that I knew you and didn't break in, I showed him the texts where I sent you a morning Soba where you were cuddling her and you told me where the key was…"

You let out a sigh. "Well, he definitely thinks you're my boyfriend now, so congratulations, I guess."

"Not gonna try to set the record straight?" he grins.

"Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how much energy that would take? I'd have to stay up waiting for him to come home, just to ambush him with like… hi Otoo-san, I just wanted you to know, that guy you met? Yeah, there's nothing between us or anything. No, I didn't have anything else to say to you, just that. Only for him to probably not believe me, and for what? Inevitably I'd have to explain why you're proposing to me at every turn, and if you ever actually have to hit a thousand it'll be way easier to explain if he already thought we were dating."

"Oh? So you're counting on me to hit the quota?" His face lights up. "So you're gonna marry me? Is that what I'm hearing? Have you finally agreed—"

"If," you interrupt sharply, stopping him with a finger to his lips. "And only if, you hit your quota."

He smiles, letting you rest your finger there with some knowing look that kinda makes you wanna hit him. Instead, you pull your hand away, turn back to picking out clothes, folding them, stacking them up.

…ugh. You need to find your duffel bag.

"Was that really all you said to him?"

"Why?"

"Because if you didn't come up here, then someone set up my futon to air out, and I know I didn't do it. I do that on Sundays, I got hurt on a Monday, and Rina-san wouldn't let me when I was here. So someone else did it, and it's more likely him, but… I don't understand why he would."

He hums thoughtfully, leaning against your dresser with his hands in his pockets. "I was more than a little rude to him about being a shitty dad, I guess. Oh! Maybe because I said something about how anxious you were about him not doing chores while you were hurt? And I told him that you wanted him to air his futon out."

…maybe that's it.

Angry tears spring up, and you turn away, rifling through your closet for your duffel bag with renewed vigor. "So, what, he feels bad about me getting hurt and not noticing and whatever, so he airs out my futon for me? Instead of talking to me like I'm his fucking daughter or something?"

You find the duffel, turn to throw it on the pile of clothes you've created. And there's Noya, right there, arms open. "Dunno what to say, so… hug?"

You hug him roughly, hard enough that the wrong angle would have given someone a nosebleed. Into his shoulder, you let out an aggravated sigh. It occurs to you that you're using him like a human-sized stress ball, but you don't particularly care at the moment. "God," you mumble into his chest, "maybe I should just take his card and get an apartment. Maybe I shouldn't ever come back."

"At that rate, save the money and move in with me." He strokes your hair soothingly. "You know, since you're gonna marry me anyway."

It's easy to joke with him. Easier than letting the anger kick up, at any rate. So, you release him, and you joke. "Uh-huh. You want to ruin an innocent girl's purity, is that it? What will the neighbors think, moving in together before marriage? It simply isn't done, Nishinoya-san."

"So we need to get married first?"

There's that blank look in his eye again, but fuck it. You welcome what's about to come. "Yeah. Better hurry it up and hit your quota so I can start coming home to you instead of this."

"Marry me, then." He leans in a little, eyes sparkling, and then he pounces. You let out a shriek as his hands find your sides and put you at his mercy. "C'mon, [name]-san. Marry me. Marry me. Marry—"

He gets it out another eight times as he tickles you. Between laughing and trying to wriggle away, you let him get that far before you manage to bark out the correct number. "Eight ninety two!" you repeat at him through your laughter. "Eight ninety two and cease this!"

"Fine, fine," he says as you simmer down, him nearly caging you in against the floor. "I guess I can let you breathe. For now. Only since you agreed to marry me." He winks, flashes a blinding grin.

For just a moment, the bullshit is forgotten. Your father, your empty home, the anger you hold in your body towards a man you swore would eventually love you like his daughter again. You ARE his daughter why doesn't he—

And then, from the doorway: a solid knock, firm and loud enough to drag a startled yelp from your throat as you turn to look at the source.

Your father, in the flesh, looking over the scene—you disheveled, too close to a boy, his arms resting on the floor on either side of your body, the pair of you out of breath—with his nose wrinkled. Like he's taken a sip of his morning coffee and just realized he forgot to add the usual amount of sugar first. Pure distaste.

"Can you get the hell off of my daughter, please?"

There was a time this situation might have bothered you: a guy half on top of you, your father clearly pissed about the situation, an impending fight. But, well, nothing's really happening with Noya, and right now, you're more bothered that your father has the audacity to give a fuck.

Noya glances to you. You sit up, adjust the hem of your shirt a little where it had ridden up during the assault. "That's weird. Since when did you care about literally anything I did?"

"I've always cared," he says quietly. "I've always cared."

"Really?" You raise an eyebrow. "News to me."

"You've been eating, haven't you?" he snaps, slamming a fist against the doorframe in a way that makes you flinch towards Noya. He doesn't move from his spot except to wind a protective arm around you, glare fixed on your father. "The water's on, the lights are on, you have a house and everything you need—"

"She doesn't—" Noya starts, but you raise a hand sharply.

"Don't, Senpai. It's okay."

He finally breaks his glare to look at you, eyes soft. "But, [name]-san—"

"It's okay," you repeat. "Look, I—I'm not doing this with you right now," you say, turning your attention back to your father. "Did you need something in particular? I haven't seen you before 11 PM in years."

He has the audacity to look injured at the cold reception. "I've been coming home earlier recently. I heard you from downstairs, I… I wanted to talk. What're you up to?"

He wants to talk.

He hasn't wanted to talk in two years.

"Packing," you say, chest twisting painfully. "I'm not really allowed to do a lot of lifting or carrying yet, so I brought Senpai to help me carry my stuff back to his place."

"Packing? For what?"

"There's… there's a big sleep-away camp the volleyball club is doing," you explain in a small voice. Noya finally adjusts himself to sit properly beside you, his arms crossed as he stares daggers at your father. "We're going to be in Tokyo for the week."

"Tokyo?" he repeats. "For a week? Starting when?"

"The… day after tomorrow…?"

"I see." He looks to Noya, gaze hardening. "Can you step out for a moment? I'd like to speak to my daughter alone."

"I will if she asks me to."

An unbidden smile reaches your lips. "He's staying."

He bounces on the balls of his feet, glaring off to the side for a moment before letting out a rough exhale. "Fine. Alright. I just wanted to apologize."

And oh, isn't that a gut punch? "F-for what?"

"For… the last two years, I guess. I haven't been here. I couldn't make myself be here unless I absolutely had to be, but I should have been.."

"Okay." It's all you can say. Not it's okay, not I'm sorry too, but okay. Because it's not okay, you're not sorry, and all you can manage is to acknowledge that he said anything at all.

"Okay…?" he repeats, strained.

"Okay. You apologized. Am I supposed to do something with that, or…?"

He pauses. Chooses his next words carefully.

"You've grown up a lot when I wasn't looking."

Not carefully enough.

"Yeah," you snap. "I had to do a lot of growing up without any parents. I graduated middle school without any parents. I picked a high school without any parents. I got into a really nice one, but I was worried about what would happen to you if I went to a boarding school and left you here all alone, so I stayed and let myself be alone instead. Without any parents."

"[name]-san…" Noya breathes beside you.

"You could still go to that school, if you wanted," your father suggests lamely. "I'd help with the transfer. I'd be more than willing to pay for it."

"No, I can't. I've got a bunch of fistfights on my record now, and it's been hard to keep my grades up and take care of a household entirely by myself, so I'm not exactly a desirable student anymore. Maybe you'd know that if you picked up the phone when the school called you."

"…oh."

"Yeah. Oh." You sigh, check the contents of your duffel bag again. You've basically got everything you'll need for the camp. Worst case, you can borrow from Noya or one of the girls. You zip up the bag, push yourself to stand. As always, there's Noya, helping you with gentle hands even though you don't really need it.

Your father studies you carefully. "Your boyfriend said you had a concussion. Are you sure you should be going to a training camp like that right now?"

"I went to the doctor's this morning. He said it was fine. Sent me home with a list of restrictions that I've already given to the club adviser. Are you sure you have any right to show back up in my life just to stop me from doing things I like and want to do?"

"I'm still your father," he mumbles weakly.

"Are you? I wasn't aware. C'mon, Senpai, we're gonna be late for dinner."

He scoops up the duffel obediently. "Got everything you need?"

"Most of it's at your place already."

You walk up to your father, look up at him with sad eyes. "I'll be back at the end of next week. Really back. And I don't want to be alone here. If you're here, and you take care of the place while I'm gone, I… we can talk then. Okay?"

"Okay. You'll be safe?"

"I'll be safe. I've got Senpai protecting me, and everyone on the team knows not to let me get hit in the head again at any costs."

His hand darts out, and you fail to dodge it—a warm hand ruffles your hair.

You nearly fall down the stairs escaping from him.

~

"I'm going back home after the training camp."

The admission gives pause to the others at the table. You'd sort of expected a shrug, an okay, an everyone-turning-back-to-eating-like-you-didn't-say-anything, but nothing of the sort comes.

"Are you sure?" Rina asks. "I meant it when I said you could stay as long as you want."

You nod. "I've imposed on you guys long enough, and… I have to face my father eventually, I guess. Everyone's been really kind, though. Thank you for taking care of me."

A knee knocks into yours reassuringly. Noya. You fight back a smile at the presence.

No one had asked any questions when the two of you had come back from your place, though you'd had silent tears slipping down your cheeks up until right before dinner. You don't want to know what assumptions they're making now.

"The two of you are leaving tomorrow night for the camp, right?" Kaede asks. "We should do something for you before you go."

Mei perks up. "Ooh, like a going-away party? I'll bake something! [name]-chan, what kind of cake do you like?"

"What? No, you don't need to—"

Your preferred flavor rolls off Noya's lips by way of interruption. Your head snaps to him, indignant.

"Wh—hey! First of all, how did you even know that, second of all, shut up!"

He holds up both hands as a display of innocence. "You were way too excited to see it on the menu at that gelato place. I guessed."

"You're such a stalker!"

He laughs. "You're doing the tsundere thing again, [name]-san. You're that happy for the party?"

You lunge for him. He backs out of reach, grin widening.

"Now, now, you're supposed to be avoiding strenuous activity," he says in a sing-song tone. "You don't wanna make your head worse, you know?"

"I mean, if you don't want a going-away party…" Satsuki starts, and you recognize danger in her tone. You interrupt her before she can finish that sentence.

"Oh no. Oh no no no—don't you dare! You promised, Nee-san!"

"Promised? I didn't promise anything. Mei, you were there—I didn't say I promised, did I?"

Mei gives you a sheepish look. "I probably should've warned you, [name]-chan. She said she'd think about it."

Kaede snorts. "Oh, yeah, she was never not gonna do it."

Satsuki looks way too pleased when she says, "I did think about it! I thought about when would be the best time to tell Yuu. You're lucky I didn't text him in the middle of that camp for maximum chaos!"

"Please, Nee-san," you beg. Noya's eyes are burning holes into the side of your face. You don't dare meet his eyes. "I'll do anything."

"Hmm, anything?" She rests her chin in her hand with a wicked grin. "I kinda like watching you squirm, though."

"Nee-san, I'll let the flirting with my future wife slide this time if you tell me what it is," Noya says. He dodges your blind slap his direction effortlessly.

Across the table, Rina is watching the exchange with thinly-veiled amusement. You pounce.

"Rina-san, please. You're my only hope. You've gotta cut off their funding."

Her amused expression does not change as Satsuki drops the bomb over your head.

"I'm just saying, we should totally have the going-away party also be a late birthday party. Two birds, one party, y'know? Especially since she didn't tell anyone about it last month."

"Oh no," you whisper as Rina breaks into the signature Nishinoya smile and the air beside you turns cold. "They're your kids. They get it from you."

"I was gonna close up the shop a little early tomorrow to help set up. And that was before Satsuki mentioned the birthday."

"[name]-san, you didn't tell me," Noya whines, arms slinging over your shoulders. "When!?"

"I asked for a Soba picture," you mumble weakly.

"I had a special Soba I was saving for your birthday! I was gonna get it framed!"

"Ooh, I'm free tomorrow, I can see if we can get it printed and framed on a rush job!" Kaede suggests. "I've got some stuff for her, anyway."

"I hate it here," you whine, dropping your head to the table.

She snickers. "Wait, guys, I speak a little tsundere. I think that was a love confession?"

You squawk, jerking your head up so fast that you get hit with a wave of dizzy. Noya steadies you with an easy hand. "You know, you can say no if you absolutely don't want to."

"…do what you want," you mumble.

Satsuki is the first to cheer, launches right into party planning with the girls. You're quiet for the rest of dinner, watching them talk with a smile.

~

The going-away-slash-birthday party turns out to be more like a dinner party thing. You and Noya stay at practice like usual, with the caveat that he's asked you to listen out for notifications on his phone to see when one of the girls reaches out that they're ready. When Noya receives the text, you stop tossing him balls with a roll of your eyes.

Satsuki to Yuu at 19:32

Satsuki: BRING OUR SISTER HOME YOU SELFISH BASTARD

"Satsuki-nee says you're a selfish bastard," you explain with a laugh.

His face brightens, and he turns to Tanaka—tonight's victim for jump set practice—with a grin. "Sorry, Nee-san says we gotta head back. Thanks for practicing with me!"

He rushes off to get changed, and you take your time, his phone still in hand.

Yuu to Satsuki at 19:34

Yuu: the selfish bastard is getting dressed

Yuu: who's 'our sister'?

Satsuki: [NAME]-CHAN MY BELOVED!!!

Satsuki: CAN I GET YOUR NUMBER YOU GORGEOUS GODDESS

Satsuki: I'M GONNA USE IT TO TALK SHIT ABOUT YUU

You laugh as you button your uniform shirt up with one hand.

Yuu: he's still got 890 more proposals before I get to call you guys my sisters you know

Yuu: [attachment: 1 new contact, labeled "[name]-san 😍💕💖💘💝🧡"]

Yuu: omfg that is way too many heart emojis

Yuu: senpai of the future if you're reading this you need to limit it to three heart emojis or less. People are gonna think you're a simp or something

Satsuki: YESSS I GOT [NAME]-CHAN'S NUMBER HAHA

Satsuki: HE CAN'T STOP ME FROM FLIRTING NOW

You pause, glancing at the contact picture and recognizing your own sleeping face, half-concealed by his shirt. Looks like a zoomed-in version of the picture Tanaka sent you both after the last training camp.

Yuu: EWHY IS THAT THE CONTACT PHOTO

Satsuki: omfg you two are adorable I hate this

Satsuki: tell him to hurry his simp ass up and bring you home. I need to kiss the belated birthday girl😘

You roll your eyes and shove your clothes in your bag.

Yuu: can't say no to that. I'm on the way home bb

Over dinner—lit up with hastily-taped fairy lights for ambiance, some streamers thrown over your shoulders like a necklace—things are almost normal. Jii-chan and the girls are chatting, you're participating in the conversation where you can, Mei made the dinner you requested, and then they break out a cake.

It's nice. Really nice. Kaede has a little gift basket for you, filled with all-new hair products and a really nice hairbrush and bundled with a printout of hair care stuff for your hair type. Satsuki steals a kiss on the cheek before getting chased off by Noya. You curl up in the corner after a bit with Mei and Soba—dressed up for the occasion with a little gift bow on her collar—watching the chaos. At one point, Jii-chan presses an envelope of cash into your hand and ruffles your hair with a don't you dare be a stranger.

Before the night's over and you have to double check that both you and Noya are packed for the camp, you are presented with the foretold framed Soba photo—she's completely bound up in ribbons, apparently having found a spool of the ribbon and gone completely wild with it. Someone's balanced a bow on top of her head before taking the photo.

Finally, when you move to retreat, Rina squishes both your cheeks in her hands with a serious look. "I wanna see you back here for dinner after the camp," she says in an authoritative tone. "At least once a week. You got that, kid?"

A huff. "Yes, ma'am. I'll talk with Senpai to get it scheduled."

She smiles, then. "Good. If you ever need anything, even just a place to sleep somewhere warm for the night, you don't even need to ask. Just shoot Yuu a text or knock on the door, and we'll let you in. Wait, better yet—let me show you where the spare key is kept. Let yourself in."

You laugh nervously. "Rina-san, you don't need to—"

"My son's pretty convinced he's gonna marry you someday," she interrupts. "And I have good authority that my daughter will if he doesn't. Between the two of them, as far as I'm concerned, you're already part of the family. C'mon, let me show you where we keep the key."

You let her show you the spot beside the door, the little handmade pot that looks to have been painted by a child, and when she leaves you alone for the night, you retreat to Noya's room. He joins you before very long at all, and you press into his side the moment he's close enough.

"You know it's probably a bad idea to sleep before we have to leave, right?" he says, winding an arm around you. "I'd say I'll wake you up, but I really suck at keeping track of time."

"My first birthday after Okaa-san died, 'too-san got me a new phone. He didn't really wrap it or anything, just like… left it on the table in the genkan with a sticky note. And I'd stopped talking to everyone by then, and I'd just found out about Kasumi-chan cheating on me, so I didn't celebrate it at all. And this year, he didn't say anything, and he didn't leave anything for me, and I… I didn't wanna tell anyone about my birthday, because what happens when everyone abandons me again if I'm not already used to being alone?"

"None of us are gonna abandon you."

"You don't know that."

He shoots you a challenging look. "I'm not abandoning you. No matter how rough shit gets."

"You could still die."

"I've never even died once in my life. Really, there's no proof that I can."

A startled laugh leaves your throat. "Let's not test that theory."

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory @kazunish

[clownblr]

If you sent us an ask about beginner clown care a little bit ago I PROMISE I just went to go answer it but alas. The ask was. EATEN. Thanks tumblr I love you the mostest :,0)

And it’s no trouble at all!! I love when we receive asks no matter what they are tbh I think it’s super fun!! (Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense- I can’t quite recall the comment you left since it’s been a bit since I’ve seen it and I can’t check thanks again my beloved hellsite)

Regardless, I of COURSE have some info about where to start in clown care !!

What do I need to take care of a clown?

I think one of the most important things to assess before taking in a clown is whether or not you have the space for one. The amount of space needed tends to vary from breed to breed, and some clowns can live in a mid sized home under special circumstances. That being said, however, this is often not the case!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (And should NOT be treated as the norm) Most of the time, a clown needs lots of space to jump and play and exhibit their full range of behaviors!! A big backyard is good space to hold a tent, which is something that many clown owners put up to try to mimic a clown’s natural environment.

TDLR, a clown needs lots of space!! It’s an important thing to consider so your clown stays happy and healthy while having lots of areas to play, grow, and enrich themselves.

Speaking of, clown enrichment is very important too! You have the space, but what do you fill it with? There’s countless options to choose from in this area- I’ve found personally that clowns at our shelter really enjoy ball pits (just make sure the balls aren’t hazardous!!) both to play in and to make nests in. Pinkee is really fond of slinkies and different wind up toys that she chases around the house, it’s very cute :o) I’ve seen some people go with different rope setups or trampolines, which can work great for certain breeds!! For others it can be a little dangerous though, so just do your research and make sure that the enrichment/toys/ect that your clown is using come from reputable sources and are safe for them!

Clown Breeds

And now onto breeds! (Go me for that transition!) There are MANY different breeds of clown. But which one is right for you??? Clown husbandry is an ever-expanding field, and new things are being discovered every day about these fascinating creatures!! As such, there’s soooo many varieties to choose from!!

The size of clown is important to consider when selecting a breed. Generally speaking, the larger a clown is, the more space you’ll need- so it’s definitely important.

Party clowns are generally recommended for first time clown owners!! Parties are what you probably first think of when you think clown. They’re a surprisingly varied breed, both in behavior and physical appearance, but overall they’re pretty easy to care for and don’t require any specialized care. Many of them are just looking for a nice loving home !!

(Side tangent but the clowns eggs have been developing and we’re fairly certain they’re party clowns !!!!! Exciting!!)

First time clown owners are often advised to stay away from breeds that require more specific care, such as porcelains or scares. Not that you can’t go for it, of course, if the opportunity arises, but please make sure you do your proper research and make sure you have the means to care for them. (I mention these two specifically because they’re very popular BUT they end up in our shelter a lot because people don’t know how to handle them properly :0(… maybe I’ll do a guide on them both in the future)

I have guides posted for the specifics of actually caring for your clown, if you need them- but I hope that this was helpful info for prospective clown owners looking for a place to start!! :0)

-Mod Grace 💞

Ps it’s the early hours of the morning where I am so um. Please excuse any funny typing mistakes you see ok byeeee