#dude i edited this a thousand times already lmao

[hiraikotsusama]

ATTENTION! THIS IS A RANT POST ABOUT THOR: RAGNAROK

If you are not interested/a Ragnarok fan please skip, or just don't leave negative comments, thank you.

Ok, here we go.

I personally hate how overrated Thor: Ragnarok is.

People only started criticising Waititi's direction after the Love and Thunder flop, and I was honestly flabbergasted, because... They were criticising the exact same things they loved so much in Ragnarok.

For example, they criticised Thor being too stupid and unserious but... He was already an idiot in Ragnarok? Which, by the way, even as a Loki stan, was the thing I hated the most about the movie (I guess the Odinsons just have a tendency of becoming idiotic scapegoats in every modern piece of media that depicts them. Yes, I'm also referencing the Loki series here.)

But moving on.

Another thing that was funny to me was people (rightfully) criticising the lack of seriousness and conflict with such a great villain. And, once again, I was there standing like... It's the SAME THING that happened in Ragnarok?? Like, the movie that's supposed to be about Ragnarok literally only had like 20 minutes of apocalypse/main conflict with Hela/Surtr in it! Most of the goddamn movie takes place on a dumb garbage planet with the Grandmaster (another wasted character) just fucking around. Little side note here, the Grandmaster is supposed to be the Collector's brother (in the comics and cartoon they both collect rare things and people and compete over it, yadda yadda) and yet this isn't referenced in any way? His powers are never shown. Like what? The potential? Wasted like that? UGH.

Also, this movie adds shallow characters. First of all, obviously, the Grandmaster, who I already covered. Then, and here I'm taking a deep breath waiting to get crucified, Valkyrie.

Ok, I'm going to try and explain this one easily. Valkyrie isn't a bad character, ok? I'm already going to say this since I want to clarify it as soon as possible. I don't think she's bad and I don't dislike her. The problem is, she is given a shallow personality and shallow purpose, at least when I look at her. For instance, I appreciated the way her trauma was portrayed, with her drinking and all, but they do joke about it sometimes (too many) and that I do not appreciate. But then. Her personality just... Ends there. And again, this is comprehensible in a way, but what I do not understand is her just switching sides randomly, like she didn't capture and shock Thor just hours before in the movie. That, plus her serving little purpose to the plot is what irks me the most. Like, the main things she does in the movie are:

1. Capturing Thor and bringing him to the GM.

2. Telling them about the only way out of the planet.

3. Being there in the final battle.

And if this was a better written movie, this would make her a necessary character. But in Ragnarok... She isn't.

She catches Thor, then dips. Ok, just have him randomly land in the GM's throne room, or have him getting caught by another rando who then dips.

The escape? Loki has lived with the GM (and his most trusted court members/whatever they are supposed to be) for two weeks. Do you really think that someone like him couldn't gather such a massive piece of info in this time? Or even better, do you think he hasn't noticed the GIANT EINSTEIN-ROSEN BRIDGE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY? He is intelligent. That's the point of his character. He would- SHOULD- have figured it out in a matter of days, the only thing stopping him was getting to a decent ship to cross said bridge, and that's what he actually needed his brother (and maybe Hulk, even if his presence was pretty random) for.

The final battle was disappointing, so I'm not even going to comment this one.

All of this to say that, with the way the character/movie was written, Valkyrie could have been removed, a few changes could have been made and the movie would have been the same. Yeah, she's friends with Hulk, which, cool, but once again this bond isn't used in any way besides her joking with him and Bruce. Her character was treated way better in the What If episodes she appeared in.

[Edit: someone reblogged and thought I was implying that her character should be thrown away. To be clear, I wasn't, I actually like her and do acknowledge that Jane, too, was shallow as a character, I just didn't mention her because she doesn't appear in this movie. All I was saying is that the writing makes her just be there, which is something that pisses me off, too. This was just to point out that Ragnarok just added so many characters with potential that was never used, and Valkyrie is one of them. Hell, you could take away half of the secondary characters, if not (almost) all of them, and the movie would stay the same.]

Then we have Korg. Yeah, I got nothing to say, he's an idiot that used to be a serious/half-important character in comics/series and got severely distorted in this movie like most other characters starring in it. Funnily enough, just like Valkyrie, his character is treated better and is way more useful in What If, which is honestly ironic.

Then, I could talk about the mistreatment of both Thor and Loki's characters but that would take a post the length of the Divine Comedy, so I'll just cut it short and cover the most important points.

Thor and Loki are obviously not appreciated (Loki is disliked more, of course he is), and therefore are written in a very OOC way. Thor turns into a full blabbering idiot and Loki is interpreted as someone whose only purpose is to betray, stab and rule. And that's all I'm going to say for now, even though I might extend the discourse in a future post.

And now, oooh boy, Hela. I loved Hela, I was excited as soon as she appeared on screen. And what happened next? Her brothers got lost in space and we didn't see them interact with her in any way besides her introduction and the short ahh dialogue with Thor in the final battle. I hate this so much. Once again, the movie that's supposed to talk about Ragnarok only shows the conflict in the last 20 minutes of the movie. And we barely see Hela, or at least we don't get to see her as much as we should, given that she's supposed to be the main antagonist of the damn movie. Her character was great, for all that we could see, but she is a walking definition of wasted potential and I despise it.

Now, there is something I do appreciate about the movie, and it's the characterization of Hulk. He finally isn't reduced to a stupid destroyer or dumb beast, and as a huge Hulk fan and Agents of S.M.A.S.H. watcher I liked this. This, and Heimdall being given some scenes and characterization, too. That's it. That's what I liked about the movie.

Now, short list of things I hated to finish the post: Fandral and Volstagg being killed like flies, Hogun meeting a similar fate right after, Sif not even appearing (so much for Sif and the Three Warriors); the constant jokes that were obviously made for an audience of four years olds; Skurge (or whatever his name was) just... Being there? Another useless/misused/mischaracterised character I didn't mention before, because DAMN is this character STUPID; STRANGE just appearing at some point and dipping (like he couldn't help them?? WHY EVEN MAKE HIM SHOW UP AT ALL UGHHH).

I think that's about it for now, thanks for reading this stupid rant. I'm open for constructive criticism and comments, and also for peaceful discussion, so DM me or leave a comment if you feel like interacting.

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Soooo a reply in the most recent Oil Is Thicker Than Blood release (by @dronebiscuitbat ) gave me an idea! And threw my impulse control out of my window!

BE WARNED: this contains a more than implied spicy Nuzi scene, which is canon in the universe of Oil Is Thicker Than Blood. I also tried my best to finish this so be also warned for potentially sucky writing lmao

Edit: I FOUND THE GUY THAT INSPIRED THIS SHIT IT'S @/makiyu23 THANK YOU DUDE THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN I WOULDN'T HAVE MADE THIS WITHOUT YOU

[EAVESDROPPING]

That red eyed freak... She's gonna pay.

Crawling in the vents. She always loved crawling around, whether it's the roof, the walls, or the ventilation systems, it always felt so good and satisfying.

This time didn't feel good the usual way now. It felt good like a revenge. Fitting.

While she's doing that, she found a few trinkets along the way! Neat! Things to look at instead of her glasses! She always disliked looking at her own glasses out of boredom, it brings memories she doesn't have consent for... Y'know what else she didn't consent to?

...

Let's not joke about that time, V...

...

Anyway! Back to searching through the vents! And sending those updates on the red thing stuff too!

"robo-god i fucking love crawling it's satisfying like-..." She stops for a moment... Then sighs... "Let's not ramble about these things alone V, you'll seem crazier than you already are..."

After long minutes of crawling around in the vents and sending updates on the search, she started to hear something...

Talking?

There's people talking...

There's people talking.

"Look, i'm just sayin', we can't have these Murder Drones in 'ere at all, ya know their body count? As someone who like- counts the deaths and missing drone cases, i say they're up to like- the THOUSANDS!"

"You know Khan's orders and announcement, they're living with us now, end of. We cannot keep having this conversation, Sean..."

"Susan please just- just understand what i'm trying to say here!"

"We can't keep up a relationship if all you're gonna ramble about is the Murder Drones wanting to make amends."

A Worker with an irish accent... Rambling to another, 50% masculine 50% feminine and 100% tired sounding, about the fact that she and N are living in the bunker with them and how he's against it. Of course. If she could drop down right then and there... She would. But she can't, she made a promise... Stupid promise but hey, she cares about that idiot.

...

Stupid feelings, stupid concept of caring, stupid core, now she feels all mushy and gross...

Ughh, get back to work you trauma bag!

Beep. Update sent. And as she crawls around the vents, a message for Lizzy. Heehee Lizzy she cute- SHUT UP BRAIN.

SD-V: yo liz i caught two people talking while i crawled in the vents, wanna hear?

A few seconds later...

Lizthequeen: OMG yes!!! drop the gossip gurl!!!

SD-V: so theres these two workers talkin shit about me and n for obvious reasons and apparantly these two workers are also a dumb lovey dovey couple

Lizthequeen: oh shiz you talking about sean and susan??? oh theyre having constant problems with their relationship i heard!!

SD-V: thats what im saying. theyre in constant problems with their relationship yeah

Lizthequeen: they are fr?? daaayyuummm gurl...... are they breaking up now???

V stopped to look back and crawl a little backwards to hear...

"... Susan- Susan please don't do this to me-"

"No no no no you know what? You know what? We're done here, all you ramble about is your racism, fuck you and fuck off"

"Susan please!"

Then a slam... Then a sigh...

"... WELL GOOD RIDDANCE I FUCKING GUESS!"

She began crawling forward again... God damn.

SD-V: yup

Lizthequeen: RN????? HOLY SHIT?????

SD-V: yup

Lizthequeen: they finally broke up........ thank you for sharing the info bestie i owe u so much

SD-V: yeah you owe me a good hanging out

What the FUCK. WHY DID YOU SEND THAT WHY DID YOU SAY THAT

V immediately stopped messaging in flustered frustration, yellow filling her visor and embarrassment filling her... Everything. Fuck's sake.

...

...

...

Lizthequeen: what do u mean by that ;3c

SD-V: nothing shut up buzz off im busy anyway BYE

Then to the right goes the program...

...

...

...

That was stupid.

...

...

Okay that's processed.

As she crawled by, she began to hear more chatter... Right, people exist.

"Guy imma need to talk to ya"

"Oh no. My name in b flat. I'm in trouble"

"More like i wanna discuss something with you regarding the whole Khan's daughter and N thing..."

"... Am i in trouble?"

"Stop saying you're in trouble, i just wanna talk"

PFFFFT

"“Stop saying you're in trouble” yeah shut up before you get in trouble hehehehehe-"

"What the HELL was that?!"

V squeaked in surprise, then yelled back, attempting to threaten the two into submission.

"YOU BETTER NOT TRY ME OR I WILL DROP DOWN AND RIP YOU TO SHREDS YOU TOASTERS!!"

...

...

"Okay, no need to yell lass, we would've listened anyway"

"Yeah what Han said"

V sighed in relief and kept crawling and sending updates. Situation avoided.

...

...

Crawling by crawling by, crawling by for the sake of your life~

This is getting really boring, i fucking hate this now i wanna go home~

She sang as she crawled in the vents, sending updates every few as she found new things and new gossip, making herself laugh a little as she crawled... She needed those laughs and those moments. She needed a break from the tension and the fear. The dread. That red eyed freak...

...

That red eyed freak.

...

"You want me to lead?" She heard, faintly, as she crawled about...

What in the god damn?? Uzi??

"Lay down then"

What????????

She crawled forward and stopped to hear the possible new gossip...

...

What the fuck are they doing down there.

"Relax, okay?"

"O-okay..."

Uzi?? N?? What are they...

...

Oh they can't be.

"I-i'm not t-that insteresting"

"You're gorgeous, actually"

"Shouldn't i be saying that to y-you?"

Nuh uh they're not i don't believe... N would be a bottom though.

A little more of hearing from inside the vents, it becomes clearer as every second passes. She can't move.

She jerks a leg forward, yet it's stiff. She can't move.

She tries the same with one arm, it's stiff too. She can't move.

She tries to at least launch herself forward, but her whole body is stiff. She can't move.

She sighs... I can't move... I can't stop hearing...

"Ngh... Uzi..."

JUST MOVE LET THEM BE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOV

She jerks an arm, trying to continue crawling.

Again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

FINALLY.

She manages to continue crawling by...

After ceaseless crawling, ending up finding nothing, and having heard quite the event... You think she'll have a word or two for them about it?

She's laid down across the ground, alone in her nest in the spire, seemingly dissociating after the events that transpired...

"Well... Damn." Her last words said in surprise.

...

...

...

...

...

We never got to go far in our relationship.

She swapped her hand up with the submachine gun and aimlessly let loose a barrage of bullets, drowning her thoughts in noise. Drowning her sorrows in noise.

Heavy breathing, panting.

...

"Let's not think of that, V..."

[reggieblk]

H E L O

hello <3 thank u so much for the ask from this game

H. How would you decribe your style?

I actually don't really know, which bodes well for the rest of this lmao. I'd say it's definitely influenced by everything I've ever read and my education - I went to school in France so there's probably some french influence in there. I'd say it's pretty simple and definitely still in the first stages of life, I hope to get much better as I keep writing!

E. If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

I'm gonna assume we're talking about equals in life (partners in death) bc I don't have any other fics posted haha. If there were to be a sequel it would definitely just be an amalgamation of scenes (already seen from Harry's POV and never seen before) from Tom's POV. Realistically there is nothing else I could do with how the fic ended lol, but yes I have thought about writing a small sequel like 20k of Tom POV

L. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Uuuugghh so many dude oh my god. I am SICK of equals in life how many times did I read that fic oh my god. I would like to use this opportunity as a formal apology for the HORRIFIC dialogue punctuation in that fic btw, any time I read back bits and pieces of it it's like full body cringe like - oh, a thousand ppl have read this, great. I do love the fic though so I'll revise it later on, at a time when I've laid it to rest for a bit bc I did write that fic out of love and I do love it, I'm just sick of it atm.

But, to get to the heart of the ask: I'm in the process of shaking off the habit of obsessively reading over every single sentence I write while still writing so it makes for more editing at the end but I now get the added bonus of rediscovering bits I'd forgotten! So I'd say I read over a fic a total of three times before posting : one entire time from start to finish, and then chapter by chapter as I post and I do that twice over (but there's also the small edits I make along the way).

O. How do you begin a story - with the plot, or the characters?

I tend to always use the same characters, main characters anyway so other characters just appear as the fic goes - but I definitely start with the plot. I'll vividly like hallucinate an idea I have and be like 'this is the best thing ever' and then if I'm motivated enough I'll open a google doc and flesh ideas out, write the bits of dialogue that stick in my mind and write an outline. The characters are part of the initial hallucination so I suppose it's kind of both at the same time!

Although, I mentioned in a post I'm writing a play (original work) for one of my fics, and for that, while I had a general idea for the plot, I was forced to come up with the characters first - so I suppose it depends on what I'm writing. (sidenote: this is the fic I've been writing obsessively for the past few days, I've decided to call it If we were lovers)

[thehackneypony]

i'm trying to move my horses to a boarding facility, and besides the challenge of finding some place with 4 spots available, the thought of transitioning leaky cup to full-care boarding really stresses me out. the current barn i'm leasing does not have a ring, nor are the owners open to allowing me to set up a round-pen in the field— which, given how much money i've just spent on chalk's undersaddle training (while also attempting leaky's training), is Not Ideal for continued upkeep/progression. staying with my trainer rn is unaffordable, and there aren't any full barns currently for lease within my price range. with me, leaky cup can get emotional but is relatively responsive to leading & yeilding cues— the issue, mainly, is his Stranger Danger and boundaries; he tends to reset with people he doesn't know, and while i've socialized him very lightly with strangers, none of them were horse-savy enough for prolonged or safe handling. i'm not entirely comfortable introducing these issues to a boarding barn that might not have staff trained to handle it (which, part of wanting to board him in the first place is to get him used to it). i can't afford to put him up with my trainer for training board, even just for a bootcamp, because it would reach well into the 1,300s (per month) without even adding board for the other three. in my area, at least, training board easily creeps into the thousands and there are very few people i'd trust with My Baby. there is one field-board facility well over an hour away that caters specifically to young horses (weanling to 3yos), but the distance would make it hard for daily visits and having him at a different facility from everyone else would complicate things. i've had them seperated before when i couldn't find capacity for everyone at the same barn, but it was... oof. i'm okay sending him off for training with someone i trust, even if its far, because he'll have handling, someone to challenge his brain, and i genuinely think having a professional fix/edit some of my first-time-unhandled horse training boo-boos would be nice— but i don't want to let him sit in a field. like... ik i'm hard on myself, but i feel like he's already being under-handled nowadays because i can only manage like 20 mins of re-enforcing basic yielding and leading groundwork a day due to work/ having to divide my time between him, chalk, and yoyo (and barn upkeep). i haven't had the energy to try tackling some of his trimming issues, given my own chronic fatigue and mental health issues, and i have no idea if he'll even load on a trailer. his weight would also benefit from restricted pasture and more exercise. my budget is admittedly tight, but i can manage all of them on field board if its reasonable— but that wouldn't be the ideal, especially not for leaky, and i'm struggling to work through my anxiety to find viable solutions. its frustrating for sure, but mostly because my lease will be up by the end of next month and if i can't figure this out by then i'd have to renew for another full year (which i... really don't want given a lot of the issues i have with this barn). as is, i have to give 30 days notice before i move, so i have to figure out what i want in... 4 days lmao (i've been stewing on this for A While my dudes).

[script-nef]

#bokutoisblessed | Bokuto Koutarou

Category: crack, fluff

2.2k words; MSBY fans dying over Bokuto and his family

Bokuto uploaded another photo

It seems like just yesterday little Hana was swaddled in his arms and now look at her. Like. Holy [censored] look at the [censored] post. 

Dudes like. She can walk now. Her steps are so wobbly but also so cute and my heart like????? Just exploded when we were gifted with the sight of her??? AND THE WAY SHE GIGGLED WHEN SHE ARRIVED AT HER MUM’S LAP A SAFJAKFDL I CAN’T BREATHE

Comments [Anon]: Honestly we the fans of Black Jackals are so blessed because we get to experience this joy and bundle of life thanks to our lord and saviour Bokuto Koutarou and his amazing wife, who will hereby be named Kami-sama. Because God is a woman I called it.

[Anon]: I agree with 97% of this, except for the Kami-sama part. She said it’s uncomfortable and embarrassing so we have to call her something else. How about Wife-sama. That should be fine, right?

[Anon]: Oh I saw that post Bokuto put up! Saying how much he’s thankful for the support but not to call her that! The upload was a short video of her turning red after he called her Kami-sama and it’s a treasure I will keep for the rest of my life. And into the afterlife. Death can try to pull it out of my cold, dead hand but I won’t let it. YOU HEAR ME DEATH???? YOU CAN’T TAKE THIS FROM MEEEEEE

[Anon]: Bokuto said Wife-sama is fine! Apparently she was still red and it was the cutest thing ever. Bokuto is so biased (*cough cough* whipped *cough cough*) but hey I’m not complaining. I don’t think my imagination will ever come close to the actual reaction but I hope it does.

[Anon]: Do you guys remember, when he just started dating her, how he flooded us with posts of her and her only? Like, practically 95% of my feed was her since he was putting so much of them up. She could literally be doing nothing and he’ll be like “HOLY [censored] LOOK AT MY GIRLFRIEND!!!” Without swearing because he doesn’t do that, but still.

[Anon]: OH AND THEN HE GOT INTO TROUBLE WITH HIS SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER ASKJDSKDJF THAT WAS GOLD

[Anon]: THEY LITERALLY PUT A VIDEO UP OF THEM TRYING TO TELL BOKUTO WHY HE SHOULDN’T DO THAT AND HE CONSTANTLY SAID “BUT I’M DATING HER AND THIS IS MY WAY OF SAYING I LOVE HER!!” LIKE BOI WE GET IT EVEN ALIENS WILL GET IT

[Anon]: And it started up again when she was pregnant with Hana. Like I could make a time-lapse video or whatever of her pregnancy just from the photos he put up

[Anon]: I honestly wonder how many photos he has of her and Hana

[Anon]: Probably a couple thousand. I mean like, I have a couple thousand of MBSY members but my love for them pales in front of Bokuto for Wife-sama, so.

→ Continue thread

Holy [censored] I just met Bokuto

Okay so there was news about a new resident coming into our apartment, more specifically my neighbouring unit. It was previously occupied by this really old couple and we had this small farewell party. They dropped hints that the new residents might be kind of loud but that they were great.

A few days later, my doorbell rings and who do I see? It’s [censored] Bokuto. Like, straight up. In his casual clothes. Exactly the same as the photo on his Insta page where he said he was moving. Which I liked practically a few hours ago.

He was standing there with the biggest smile and saying that he’s the new resident and that they’re giving out homemade cookies because of the baby and Bokuto’s volume. And invited me to a small dinner. And I’m. Like my brain. Literally. Like my brain is even blank now. Bokuto. Invited me. To his house. So I could have dinner. And see his wife. And little Hana. 

So I am here now, raiding my wardrobe to see if I have anything wearable because HOLY [censored] [censored] [censored] I’M GOING TO HAVE DINNER WITH BOKUTO AND HIS FAMILY I’LL REPORT BACK LATER IF HE’S FINE WITH ME SHARING THIS EXPERIENCE OKAY I REALLY GOTTA GO BECAUSE MY HEART IS BEATING WAY TOO FAST AND I NEED TO HAVE SOME MEDICINE

[Edit]: This was riddled with spelling mistakes because my hands were shaking from the aftershock.

Comments [Anon]: ???? What did you do in your past life to be awarded the opportunity of being neighbours with Bokuto???? Did you like, save the country or something? Is that what it takes to be blessed with him?

[Anon]: No you gotta at least save the entire Earth for this damn dude thanks for your service I guess

[Anon]: But if you gotta save the world to be neighbours with Bokuto, then what the hell did Wife-sama do to be married to him?

[Anon]: She saved the universe

[Anon]: But I think Bokuto will be the one to say he saved the universe to be with her that cheesy dork ugh I love you

[Anon]: LMAO I CAN HEAR HIM SCREAMING THAT

[Anon]: Are you back yet? Are you alive? Are you blinded by the magnificence that is Bokuto Koutarou and his family? I know I would be. So in order to kill me as well, TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED YOU CAN’T KEEP US OUT LIKE THIS I AM KNEELING ON THE FLOOR AND BEGGING FOR THE INTERACTION PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I BEG OF THEE I WANT SOME MORE SIR

[OP]: That’s really weird so stop that. I’m just about to go out now! I’ll spend the dinner over there, experience heaven, hope I don’t die of heart failure and possibly come back with a war story. If they allow me. Wish me luck guys.

[Anon]: GO BRAVELY SOLDIER AND MAKE US PROUD I AM PRAYING THAT THEY’LL BE KIND ENOUGH TO LET YOU SHARE THIS WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE

I’M BACK

Okay so that could only be described as one of the best moments in my entire life. Don’t worry, they said it’s fine if I share this. #actualsaints

So I finally found an outfit and took the chocolate that I was saving for myself, but since I can give my arm and leg for Bokuto what the [censored] is a chocolate, right?

I’m greeted by Wife-sama herself. Like. Less than a metre from me, saying “good afternoon” and smiling like the saint of tranquillity. (A side note but how do you have that when you live with Bokuto? And a child? My brother wants to know your secrets.) And she’s wearing what I think is Bokuto’s shirt since it’s way too big for her, I mean the end comes to her thighs. Sharing shirts is the most romantic thing a couple can do I don’t make the rules I’m just the messenger.

Anyway she invites me into their house, their amazingly aesthetical and cozy house. There’s a display case for all of Bokuto’s trophies, awards, certificates and everything. There are photographs of them together all over the walls, hung from strings spanning the entire house. There was a wall section dedicated entirely to Hana-chan. I felt like an uncivilised cave gremlin there.

Wife-sama was still making dinner and I was going to help her but little Hana-chan came to me. Like, she tottered over to me in the blue frilly dresses and tugged on my pants, babbling and smiling. Y’all I nearly died. I literally saw the gates of heaven and had a foot in but Wife-sama saved me by pulling me back into reality. By asking me if I wanted to play with Hana-chan. Which killed me again. And she was apologetic about it too? Like she doesn’t think I would give my kidney to spend time with her?

So I was playing with Hana but sneakily looking at the two of them being cute as hell in the kitchen. Bokuto was attached to her at the hip for the whole time except for when she asked him to get some ingredients. He was a puppy incarnate. They were sneaking kisses, whispering to each other and it was honestly so cute like I was getting diabetes just from one night. 

The food was amazing, the dinner talk was so fun and delightful, Hana-chan was the cutest little angel ever, this was probably the best day of my life. AND WHEN I LEFT FOR THE NIGHT, THEY BOTH HUGGED ME AND IT WAS LIKE BEING HUGGED BY CLOUDS BUT THEY SMELLED SO NICE!!

I shall never forget this day. Mark my words y’all.

Comments [Anon]: How beautiful was their place? I feel like she would go with a pastel tone or black and white. And have cute things littered around everywhere.

[OP]: The house was really unique in the sense that it felt like two houses smashed together. Like they took turns decorating each section of the house. Looked like polar opposites. It was kind of weird at first but the aesthetics flowed well the longer I stayed there, if you can understand what I’m saying.

[Anon]: The fact that Bokuto and Wife-sama are practically opposites in many things but still formed a romantic relationship with each other and the fact that their taste or preferences complement each other perfectly is proof that they are soulmates. In this essay I will

[Anon]: Where’s the essay. Dude where’s the [censored] essay

[Anon]: HEY MAN COME BACK WHERE’S MY ESSAY

[Anon]: NOOOOOOOOOOO THE SACRED TEXTS

[Anon]: Bruh just a kidney? Take my [censored] liver. Take my heart. Oh no wait, she already has it in her squishy widdle hands.

[Anon]: I bid my left arm

[Anon]: Right arm

[Anon]: Lungs

[Anon]: I really love my brain but I barely use it so off it goes I guess

[OP]: ???? Guys? What are you doing? Stop this illegal organ trade in my post.

[Anon]: Shhhhh we’re showing our love

I saw Bokuto shopping and it was so cute

I do not do clickbait, it was genuinely adorable and my cheeks are about to fall off. As was everyone else’s in the entire mall.

I was just doing some shopping, getting some snacks and popcorn for the movie marathon I was going to have and who do I hear? Yeah, it’s Bokuto. And little Hana-chan whining to Wife-sama about how she’s not getting the snacks they want. It’s from memory since I didn’t take a video, I’m not a creep and I understand boundaries unlike some of you assholes, but it went something like this.

Bokuto: But think of all the caramel popcorn we could eat! Hana: Mama, sweeties. Sweeties. (What an angel, am I right?) Wife-sama: I already said no, it’s going to ruin your dinner. Hana: But it’s tasty! Bokuto: Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase? I’ll do all of the dishes and cleaning today! Wife-sama: You already do that every day, Kou. It’s not much of a bribe. (Husband goals) And Hana, we have other snacks at home. Caramel is bad for your teeth. Bokuto: But babe! Wife-sama: I said no, and that’s it. Hana: Mama!

It was just this repeated for like 10 minutes with Bokuto and Hana-chan alternating their whines. I would have snapped after 5 times but wow, this lady has the mental fortitude of Fort Knox.

They both sulked and followed her around as she finished her shopping. I can tell Hana is Bokuto’s daughter because her hair droops down like his and a cloud forms over her head. It was practically magic.

In the end, they bought one (1) salted caramel popcorn because Wife-sama is too soft-hearted and they literally clung onto her for 5 minutes peppering her with kisses. And Bokuto actually lifted her in his embrace. In the middle of the sweets section. Where everyone was looking.

Needless to say, she was very very red.

Comments [Anon]: Conspiracy theory: factoring in Bokuto’s godlike physical ability, inhumane and endless sunny disposition, his hair’s ability to reflect his moods, it can be concluded that Bokuto is, in fact, a God.

[Anon]: Well someone has a big brain

[Anon]: Wait then Wife-sama would be a Goddess. Gasp SHE DIDN’T WANT PEOPLE CALLING HER KAMI-SAMA BECAUSE IT WOULD BLOW HER COVER

[Anon]: Oh yeah, it’s all coming together

[Anon]: I can kind of see Bokuto and Hana sneaking in sweets and snacks into the trolley while Wife-sama isn’t looking lmao

[OP]: THEY ACTUALLY DID THAT I nearly ran into them again and heard her berating Bokuto for sneaking in chocolate and shoving it beneath all the meat so she wouldn’t notice. My man, please. You can never outsmart your wife.

[Anon]: Next time I go to the MSBY fan meeting, I’m bringing all the sweets I can for Bokuto and Hana. It’s the least I can do.

[Anon]: They’re so cute and I can’t wait for the MSBY match in three days where Bokuto’s family is going to attend. I promise I’ll post about it afterwards.

[smiledog15578]

This man never gives up

This will probably be my last post since it’s getting boring but let the explaining ensue:

The age lying thing (imma put into bullet points):

I thought he and others in the discord was my age

I wanted to show ty my nsfw art cause I trusted him the most

I showed him, he liked it, and he drew art for it it was just a good time pretty much

Later on I realized he was not the same age so a huge oh fuck he’s gonna yell at me moment (probably not actually but I know adults can be very worried about that stuff which is understandable and right of them to do)

I don’t remember when I lied about my age exactly but I do remember I did it because I was worried I was going to be in big trouble and I didn’t wanna make him uncomfortable and ruin our friendship

I finally told him my age and I apologized sincerely. We calmly talked about it, he took away the more adult servers i could see (I never went in there after I found out and didn’t like going in there in the first place cause I’m not for nsfw stuff then you think), and then he put a “minor” tag on me so everyone knows. Tbh that was a huge relief and I’m glad he did that cause it was calmly resolved

I never sent nsfw art again unless it was in the cursed chat (which is harmless cause we all thought the stuff in that chat was well cursed so it was mostly shits and giggles)

However that being said I find it weird that he asked to see my nsfw art after I sent a shitpost edited version of it when he knew I was a minor and already told me that he was uncomfortable with what I did before hand

I do understand that it’s wrong. It was VERY wrong of me to do and I am sorry for what I did. I should of asked before hand but be being the dumbass teen I was I didn’t ask and I know my teen friends send nsfw all the time so yea I admit fault to that. Again I find it weird you asked me for nsfw when you knew I was a minor. Also I thought you told me you were in your 20s? That’s why I thought it was weird that an unknown source told me that you were 19 cause I remember you saying specifically “in my early 20s...” (this was after I told him my age btw)

The asexual thing:

When? You never told me you were asexual? The only thing I knew personally that you were transgender.You just outted yourself on that one LMAO. even if you are asexual it doesn’t make up for the fact that you sexualize Mark but critique others for sexualizing other characters or youtubers. And it’s fine to find him hot but that’s just a weird double standard. Don’t say you didn’t sexualize Mark cause I remember things that you said that ere sexual but won’t say it in public cause that’s personal info

Whatever is happening here:

I’m glad we were friends from the time being. When I left I was kinda having Stockholm syndrome since you were the only one at the time who actually let me talk about things without feeling weird for it. I am grateful that you gave me affection to a weird degree but still appreciated. The reason why I left so early was because I’ve had so many people that told me that you were bad news. I trusted my gut and finally left you and blocked you. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d get like this so I didn’t tell anyone but one person you knew of because I was too scared to tell you. Low and behold I was right. You ARE exactly like this. Also this IS petty playground drama but ironically enough, you keep playing in this drama to prove that thousands of people that they’re wrong even though most of us remember clearly what happened. gaslight and manipulation much? I don’t usually like using those words since it’s used in every Twitter drama I’ve seen but this is actually the case☠️. The fetishizing white liberal thing idk who you’re talking about cause that could be anyone I’ve met but whoever that person is that wasn’t the only person who told me (not giving names cause again, privacy). Dude it’s one thing if it was just me and you fighting but this is SO many people telling me how bad you are. I’m guessing the grown white man is either jack or Ethan and sure they’re a grown white men but like- the stuff you bring up isn’t your business. I hate when you or others think you have the right to yell at strangers for the tiniest things when you don’t even know them personally. It’s overall rude and not in your place to do so. And I can get if it’s something big like say- that dream youtubers fan base doing dumb shit but when you bring up how jack was being a bit needy when his own father died? Or that you were saying jack was a bad cat owner that you don’t even know or own (it wasn’t anything like beating but the cat ate tinsel which is hurtful to cats but for fucks sake so many people I know have had pet accidents it’s not uncommon)? Or saying Ethan is milking unus annus when Mark does the same thing? Bruh you seriously need to reevaluate yourself.

Anywaysssss again I wanted to leave this in the past but alas ty still brings it up to this day and says he HATES me (which idc get over it you’re an adult) so that’s my explanation. If y’all have any further questions or complaints please send me an ask and we can sort it out! And I’m not a good person either I know I’m an asshole even though people say I’m not. When you attack my friends I’m going to get upset and tell the whole truth.

[alienfru1t]

i was the anon who sent the eyeroll dream thing and genuinely actually do you have any feelings about like dream and by extension sapnap trying to assert themselves into pop off trio streams

because i’m not gonna lie as much as i love dream and sapnap and yeah the going dark thing was funny, they do have this problem where they show up and get confrontational about not being invited and when they do that shit and put everyone on the spot about “being left out” it’s very weird to me you should just accept they want to have a stream alone right..? i was wondering what you thought about that and whether you think they genuinely feel threatened about being left out

like let george hang out with his other friends maybe i doubt they’d do this if it was quackity and karl with anyone else or even just them alone

also i’m too much of a coward to discuss this on my own main idk if you know who this is but i have a feeling it’s smth you agree with and it’s veryyy nice to see someone calling sapnap and dream out for their occasional annoying and stream ruining behaviour

sorry this is so long!! you also totally don’t have to answer btw lmao i just notice the same frustration sometimes through your liveblogging whenever sapnap and dream crash a stream

anonymous: wait wait to add onto my last ask it was the biggest power move for karl to announce that the sex havers only consists of george karl and quackity and i really felt like that was a hint drop from him, i think jokingly adding that anyone else is “a friend of sex havers” was to lessen the impact but i still enjoy the fact that he asserted (and has been asserting) that their group when they’re together is an exclusive trio

i felt it that time he was like yeah well. we were the original sex havers groupchat and i feel like sapnap and dream kinda wriggled themselves into being included like i hope none of this sounds mean i just really want dream and sapnap to understand it’s okay to not be included in everything

oh MAN do i have feelings 😩 dream and sapnap are almost comically emasculated by any little thing that makes them feel inferior and that includes being excluded from things. and i personally feel they have no right to get angry about being left out and to then show up onto their streams to express that theyre upset in front of an audience of thousands. i say this because the other three ALWAYS mention that they dm'd them and invited them to the activity or otherwise said they had reason to believe dream or sapnap wouldnt be available (and even outside of that, theyre not required to tell the other about every single one of their plans lol)

i think getting confrontational about it on stream in the middle of planned activities is childish. take a look at bad for example, who also isnt a part of the trio but doesnt get confrontational about having been left out. the trio is full of lighthearted people, bad came into the call and they asked him if he wanted to join in the game they were playing and he did and that was it. compare that to dream or sapnap and when they join calls. theyre consistently immediately accusatory. the trio will take it in stride (cus again. an audience of over 100k is watching. its really not the time and place to whine and get mad about feeling left out, those are convos to have in private), theyll throw some facts like "we invited you" "you said you were busy" "we already had this planned for a while" etc., then theyll offer an invitation to join. this invitation is usually met w quite frankly STUPID debate about "well why wasnt i included in the first place" like dude. read the room, youre streamers for a living, talk about these things off stream like an adult. plus they literally already said you could join if you still wanted to, whats the problem, why drag it out for longer than it needs to be. it just stalls the stream and their plans and shifts the lighthearted tone into somethin a little more careful (however briefly it might be, it didnt need to happen)

i LOVE karl for saying that theyre their own group and joking that their attitude is why theyre friends of sex havers. it felt like a lighthearted way to lift the mood again and kinda say "hey, we do our own things sometimes, chill"

i cant speak for whether i think they genuinely feel threatened about being left out cus not only do i not know them personally, theyre also not ccs i focus energy on (thats for quackity and george 😌) i DO think that with all the times theyve brought it up when crashing the trio streams, they should really by this point have talked about it off screen. it feels almost like they use the audience as a safety net to avoid the consequence of intruding/being mean cus whoever theyre talking to has to keep a certain face and therefore cant say certain things (might even hazard a guess that off screen they probably still dont REALLY talk about it)

i dont blame them for wanting to be a part of things their friends are doing but i blame them for the way they express that. it makes the atmosphere tense by making it far too personal for something thats visible to a live public audience.

i know theyre around the same age, but the way dream an sapnap handle conflict on screen IS immature vs the way quackity and karl do. quackity and karl have been entertainers for A WHILE and understand how to stay entertaining and theyre far more aware of their audience and the overall mood and how to handle problems and conflict without things getting too tense. dream and sapnap (sapnap moreso) have a habit of being confrontational and not lightening the mood and instead continuing to be mad, making everyone else in the call responsible for the energy of the stream instead of them themselves dealing with the tenseness theyve caused. it makes things awkward and im always hoping itll end fast and that theyd please for the love of god talk about it off stream

thats worded a little dramatically cus its rarely ever THAT bad, but it would be SO much better if it just didnt happen yknow. if they understood that they dont have to be a part of everything their other friends do AND if they understood that getting mad on stream and stalling their plans and souring the vibe isnt the best way to handle it.

tl;dr: theyre their own group who do their own things and arent required to share their plans w the rest of their friends (and usually they dm in advance anyway asking if they wanna be a part of their plans). dream and sapnap feeling excluded isnt something they should get overly heated about on stream (its an immature way to bring up the issue especially without ever offering a solution). these are problems they should talk about off stream where the trio dont have to be so conscious about their audience and its perception. i love karl and quackity for emphasizing that theyre their own group with their own plans and joking that the way they act is WHY theyre not part of the group. i think they deal w it as well as they can and i think dream and sapnap need to learn just a little more spacial awareness and how to handle conflict

edit: quackity/karl/george should be fully able to have their own stream together without anyone else intruding. dream and sapnap arent their bosses, they dont need to run all their plans by them first. if they want to have streams with just their own established group, they should be able to have that.

[ayy-spec]

Anything to Add?

The final question in this survey was a write-in section for people to leave any additional comments. 113 people responded.

Important/Particularly Interesting Comments

• I hope this goes well for you because you seem nice and if you have any advice for new to the community 15 year olds like me, don't be afraid to share because I'm trying to embrace my sexuality as much as possible but it can be hard when I don't know where to go or turn to to find what I'm supposed to do and where to ask questions and just fully embrass this part of me and it can be hard when I don't even know many if any aspecs so representation is great and it is helpful to hear your experiences and how you handle certain parts, so just keep doing what your doing because it is making a difference [note: 🥺🥺😭]

• i often consider myself more as just aroace rather than aro and ace seperately so i prefer seeing the blue and orange aroace flag over the individual aro and ace flags

• I don't really shorten my identity often with aroace, only when im feeling very romance repulsed and its been a while since I felt romantic attraction. I am a pan-demiromantic asexual. My pan label makes me feel more connected to the lgbt+ community bc it feels like my nonbinary and intersex status doesn't count either. I know I belong in the queer community, but the lgbt+ community is so sexual orientation focused.

• Thank you for having a wide variety of labels to choose from in the options!! I don't see the term aegoromantic very often on things, it feels nice to be known I guess haha

• Thank you for this, i recently started thinking about being in arospec and it was so relieving, all this time i thought something was wrong or maybe i was broken. I'm still trying to learn more about it, and I'm grateful for people willing to teach and help

• didn't realize I hadn't experienced sexual attraction until I finally did and was like "OH, no wonder all my other relationships felt like I was playing pretend"

• I dont often tell people I'm gray aroace. Not because of shame or it not being "as important" (I'm a gay trans dude) but I think because I just feel its a very intimate part of myself, as well as my romanticism and sexuality (in terms of like asexuality) feeling as though it doesn't always need a label. I'm fine just being myself most of the time, a lot of labels can be tricky for myself I think. I'm happy the label exists nonetheless though because Its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

• I'm queer! But if I'm getting down to the bones of it, I'm pan/ace. Still relearning how to be proud of that, after The Grand Clusterfuck years back.

• even though I would be considered to have an alloromantic orientation, alloace isn't really a term I feel any strong connection or attachment to

• i'd like to add that i do consider myself alloaro and use that label openly but i'd also not consider myself 100% allosexual. i'm questioning my sexuality but even if i do end up feeling more solidly ace-spec i'd still use the alloaro label

• Idk who else does this or if this is interesting enough to write down, but I thought I would! I use Aroace as a label. Other, smaller labels inside that would probably fit me better! Aroace feels too big, like it doesn't *really* define exactly who I am. But at the same time, I prefer using it because more people know what Aroace means (at least compared to myrromantic and myrsexual). I use Aroace so the public can define me. I don't typically use it around my close friends 'cause they already know my idiosyncrasies and where I really am. They already made their own definitions for me, so I don't have to make one for them!

• I'm still figuring myself out, so I leave myself at the blanket terms and hopefully everything'll work out in the end

The rest of the responses are below:

Comments Alerting Me About Typos (that I was then able to resolve)

• There's a typo in your "sexual orientation labels" question, because you have Aroflux listed and not Aceflux, but I didn't want to confuse things so I put Aceflux (which I do use) under Other. I also am polysexual (I flux between polysexual and asexual but I am always aegosexual) but didn't know if I should but it under Other anywhere since it's not an acespec label. I consider my polysexuality tied to me being aego/aceflux though, which is why I mention it here.

• the sexual orientations options are the same of the romantic ones ( for example, there's arovague and arospike in the sexual cathegory)

People Clarifying/Expounding Upon Their Own Identity/Experiences

·  to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

• I’m still a confused gorl and I really only know that I don’t like sex it sexual acts but I do like romantic and sensual acts

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• I'm also animesexual and fictosexual (and romantic I guess but I don't like using the SAM for myself).

• I have never seen most of these labels, haha, I expect one of them is the one I always forget that's for being aro due to past trauma but people always assume it's romantic/sexual trauma so I don't use it and thus have forgotten it...but that's the essay I'm not usually up for writing: was biromantic but then had several awful life events on top of each other and had a complete breakdown and have been aro since. Unclear if it's permanent but it's been 14 years now. [note: I believe this person is thinking of caedromantic]

• I tend to use the word ace more than asexual because it's shorter, but I don't feel more favorably about one than the other.

• i can't tell the difference between platonic vs romantic attraction, and am unsure if people i have "liked" in the past was romantic, platonic, or a fake stemming from peer pressure.

• Also Gender-Neutral/Agender

• I’m gray-aro but identify more with being biromantic even though I know I’m aro-spec. As for sexual orientation, I’m just completely ace xD

• The fact I'm still trying to figure out my gender makes it harder to pinpoint exactly what my orientations are :( but I usually say I'm queer, and if it's safe: Bi Ace, and if I can get more specific: biromantic grey-asexual

• I also use a platonic label (biplatonic). I use it not in a friendship way, but more like in a QPR way.

• Thank you for doing this! My identity on the aro/ace spectrums has shifted a lot over the years and while I’ve just settled on aroace and queer for the most part, this community is so diverse and under appreciated. People who find joy in/identify with micro-identities are valid and deserve representation!

• I'm still figuring out my romantic orientation but it's looking less allo by the day lmao

• My romantic label is very fluid, but in terms of sexual labels, very sex repulsed Asexual

• Content with just Aspec cause it's difficult to pinpoint anything but cool with both asexual/ace and aromantic/aro

• I think of my romantic orientation as halfway between aromantic and homoromantic

• I'm a polyamorous ace, if there'd be a way to include that sometimes that'd be neat :)

• I am still questioning my identity

• I used to identify as 100% ace but now I have no idea other than that I seem to be pan-ace in some way shape or form so my identity is ???people???

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

Queer Rights

• Trans rights, baybee 🤠🦂

• I just hope a-spec and aro-spec people will experience less negativity and hate this year <3

• Aspec rights!!

• aspec rights, baby

People Being Nice to Me  (I appreciated this thank you everyone!!)

·  :)

• Have a good day

• Uhhh, cool survey, nice to see a lot of labels.... good job! Nothing I have to add, it was great

• Have fun chief, thank you for your work

• Thank you for creating!

• thanks for the survey! I don't know too many aspec in person so I love participating in things like this about the ace/aro community!

• Thank you for what you’re doing

• just hi :)

• thanks!!

• I really love your blog! Reading your posts always makes me happy :) [note: thank you!]

• Good luck, have a nice day !

• I hope you're having a good day :)

• you're lived and valid af!! have a great day!!!

• Thank you for all your hard work i really appreciate it ☺️

• Drink some water Right Now OP

• Nope, :> hope the best for you.

• Cool survey, 10/10 would survey again.

• 💛

• Have a nice day uwu

• Nope! Have a nice day!

• Thank you for making pride flag edits! They're really nice! [note: thank you!!]

• nope, but this is really cool!!

• ❤️

• Have a good day.

• I think this survey idea is super cool! Definitely a great way to see what sort of aspec people are on tumblr :)

• You are doing the lords work

• Thank you for asking us.

• good luck!

• This is really cute idea :)

• I hope you're having a nice day!

• Good luck in your endevours!

• Thank you for making our community visible!

• Have a good day :3

• Have a good day!!

• Keep doing great stuff!

• Thank you for all the positivity I get from your blog! It's super helpful, keep it up :) [note: thank you!!]

• thanks for doing this. recognition is always nice

• Have fun <3

• Lots of love 💛

• This is a cool project, thanks for doing it and good luck! :)

People Saying They Love Me (and I love you, random a-specs)

·  i love you OP!!!!!

• love you, hope you have a great day

An A-Spec Person Being Rude to Other A-Specs

• If you enjoy sex with your romantic partner then you are not asexual

A Person Who Is Not A-Spec Being Rude To A-Specs

• sweetie im sorry that you're so insecure that you feel like you have to make up new identities to feel better about yourself. if you are a lesbian or bisexual please know that you are welcome in the community, but other than that making thousands of microlabels like this makes a huge joke out of what was once an important and respected group. nobody takes us seriously anymore because of this shit. does labelling your identity like this really help you with anything? demisexual and fraysexual and all this are just fancy words for normal human feelings that everyone has. there is no need to microlabel it.

Other

· [variations of “no” (12)]

• not sure that helps lmao but still hope it does. all the best

• Axolotls (or as I like to call them, asexulotls) are amazing and I love them [Note: the man in question]

• Sorry, I can't remember the names of any blogs that do edits

• Ok random but the colors of the aro/ace flag? The blue and orange one? They’re gorgeous.

• I'm not so sure if I should use the aroace flag, I feel comfortable using both aro and ace flags, but I don't like the colors for the aroace flag :c [note: these are in chronological order, it’s a total coincidence that these comments are together]

• Curious to see where the survey goes

• It would be cool if you could also do some aplatonic-spectrum edits!

• there were fully half of the terms on that list that i had never even seen before. like, everything below litho down to no label was entirely new to me. at some point i will look into those! (but not right now, my brain is full enough at the moment)

• actually had to look up the majority of these orientations. Thank you for the opportunity to learn!

• Gonna reblog and follow and hopefully learn a bit more, about others and myself

Note: The only comment that is not listed in order is the first comment, which I put at the top because I found it the most important. It’s so important that kids and teens have space to explore their identity and learn about themselves. The reason I made this blog in the first place was because I was 19 and working on figuring out my gender and sexuality. Now that I’m a bit older and understand things better, I’m so glad that I’m able to help people in this way. 

I make it a point to be very openly queer in my life and at work because I need LGBTQ+ people, especially youths, to know that we’re here. I’m lucky that I live somewhere that I can be visibly queer and speak about it openly. We are everywhere, and there’s more of us than you think!

Something that I really like about the comments at the top is that they show how diverse we are, and how people use words differently. Some people feel like they’re more aroace than aromantic and asexual separately, and others consider their romantic and sexual orientations to be completely different things.

I definitely relate to the person who identifies are myrromantic and myrsexual with their friends but just says aroace when speaking with people they don’t know as well. I believe a lot of people use different words depending on who they’re speaking with.

[flying-elliska]

lotrblogging pt 2 - Return of the King extended edition

- I just love this movie so much, it’s just a collection of big narrative payoffs and it’s so satisfying ! 

- I honestly hate Denethor more than Sauron ; he’s just such a compelling antagonist, that despicable figure of authority that lets his biases completely corrupt everything, seeing only what he wants to see, and a good example of the dangers of unfettered pessimism that passes off cowardice as ‘realism.’ And of course what would a story be without at least one terrible father figure, I mean. Also the noble but pointless sacrifice of Faramir/Pippin singing/the triviality of Denethor’s terrible table manners still gives me so much chills. i can’t help but think of Tolkien going through wwi, one of the most egregious examples of brave young men being sacrificed to the pride of older officials, safe behind the battle lines, for completely trivial reasons. Ugh. 

- i think what is so amazing about this movie is that most of the heroes go through a moment of being completely hopeless : Pippin and Gandalf in an assieged Minas Tirith, the Rohhirim charging a much bigger army, Frodo and Sam having to go through Mordor and talk about not coming back, the last battle at the Black Gate they know they can’t win but is meant as a diversion, etc. And from their limited perspective, it really is. But they decide to fight regardless ; and then they realize they’re not as alone as they thought ; because everyone decided to fight. It’s like the opposite of the Prisonner’s Dilemma, and it’s like the Good Ending for so many of the problems facing the world and it’s such a satisfying narrative and ugh - i’m emo

- i already talked about this re : masculinity and shit but i just love how emotionally open everyone is in this movie ! it’s just so fucking delightful ! i think this is part of why i loved the movies so much as a neuroatypical kid who had trouble regulating/expressing emotion. It’s also very straightforward, with little irony or second degree or whatever. very relaxing. I mean, take Aragorn, in the books he is honestly kind of boring, he’s so aloof and serious and remote, but in the movies he just cares so much ! i mean that look of utter devastation on his face when he gets out of the caves and thinks he hasn’t been able to convince the ghost army ! beautiful !!! it could be cheesy or trite but they just play it so earnestly and fully, it’s just !!!!! yeah !!!!

- honestly throwback to my teen self having a crush on a different character everytime i rewatched the movies there are a lot of beautiful people in there

- i find it very unrealistic that there is not one culture in there that has warrior women. and very bland. especially the Rohirrim who are kind of Viking-like, and have a word for ‘shieldmaiden’ apparently but there’s only one around ? and what about the elves who are all supposedly badass and indestructible ? i’m sure any elf maiden could like, seriously fuck up a human dude, also having thousands of years to train. gender roles being so unquestionably replicated in fantasy settings where they don’t necessarily makes sense is so annoyinnnng. that said, Eowyn’s ‘i am no man’ moment of ultimate badassery is just....still so incredible. But I’m glad they didn’t include the moment where Eomer is all ‘war is the province of men’ in the cinematic version because that makes him look like a serious dick tbh and he already doesn’t have a lot of personality so...

- i know it’s based on ancient myth where these archetypes are frequent but like, the worldbuilding is really full of like...um...uncomfortable tropes, like the evil races concept is one thing, but then the movie topped it up with some really problematic design choices, like making some of the men aligned with Sauron look distinctively middle-eastern which, yikes. As a product of its time there’s a lot worse, but i like to think if they remade it today they would be more aware of this, as I am watching these movies as an adult. And also, glad that fantasy is moving away from these tropes today, at least in books. 

- man i love Legolas. he just seems high half of the time, spouting off epic poetry in the middle of a creepy cave full of skulls that’s only tangentially related to whatever is happening. he stops a minute to be a snarky badass, then he goes back to thinking about poetic stacks of mist and golden leaves or whatever. legend. absolute goals. also that drink-off with gimly where he wins and is like ‘oh my fingers are tingling’ with a delicate finger motion. so stupid. amazing. 

- monarchy is bad etc but i love narratives about kingship/leadership as acts of service, and stuff about the king being linked to the land and if he fucks up then everything goes bad, he can’t just do whatever, as a proto-pattern of accountability of power, and mankind having to be a good steward. and Aragorn as a healer. 

- i skipped the bits with the giant spider. when there’s a giant spider in a movie i always make a point of honor to skip it. because that’s just unnecessary. 

-  Sam and Frodo’s relationship is so beautiful, ugh. And honestly it kills me everytime, how there’s these big epic battles but they’re put in parallel with the small acts of compassion and kindness of these two, and with Gollum as well. How these small, personal struggles matter just as much. And of course, the ending, with Frodo failing and Gollum stealing the ring from him and then falling into the pit of Mount Doom...That moment puzzled me for a long time. It highlights the importance of Frodo’s compassion, but it’s also very disturbing, because it shows how much is left to chance in the end, like the fate of the world wasn’t determined by a grand gesture or someone making the right choice. This probably haunted Frodo for the rest of his days. Maybe it shows the importance of putting yourself on the right path ; but also in the end, so much of history really comes down to chance and unrelated stuff. 

- overal it just holds up so well. the visual effects are still mostly incredible and there is such craftsmanship in there, i can’t believe those movies are almost 20 yrs old. i remember my parents allowing me to skip school to go see Return of the King with them, felt like one of the best days of my life lmao. i think part of what makes them so great - compared to stuff like GoT, which had also amazing craftsmanship, but the story really doesn’t make me want to rewatch at all - is that there is this sense of wonder about it. (and they’re not trying to avoid being seen as fantasy, lol.) It’s not shy about the whole ‘and here’s a totally different world, isn’t that awesome !’ thing. And the character arcs are just incredible. It’s far from being flawless, it’s very pompous at times, it’s a zero in terms of diversity, and I can see that more clearly now. But I like that it’s aware of its own myth-like aspects ; stuff that I used to find lame, like Gandalf calling the moth or the eagles, bother me a lot less, because the point is not Realism!!!. It’s the metaphor of small gestures and signs of hope in times of tyranny and mass violence. And that holds on its own. 

[bestperuse]

4, 6, 18, 19, 20, 23

hi maple, yea what the FUCK4. what are some of examples of storytelling that inspires you outside of books?

idk if it is storytelling per-say, but I always like the romantic nature of life? Just how the world is so big and massive, but you see a sunbeam and you’re just awe-struck at how that came to be; like how big trees are and how green they are; how foreign food and fruit are so normal in a supermarket and that pineapple has traveled thousands of miles; how airplanes are man-made and fly and it’s normal. You can go into a forest and feel alone and realize how small everything is.

I like the small details of life, the little things that are so simple and mundane, but are just amazing and extravagant on their own. It’s probably why I write small details

6. have you ever made a playlist about something you were writing as an elaborate means to procrastinate when you could have been actually writing and if yes drop a link, sonHonestly, no; I’ve never made a playlist before really. I either write in silence of listen to the same 3 songs anyway; they usually have meaning or character attributions. Some songs are weirdly connected to aus I have and it’s a mess. 

18. tell us about a character who’s very different than you who you love a whole lot

Sorry KH friends. Beachcomber from Transformers; a dude who has been in a multimillion year war, doesn’t wanna be there and has never wanted to be there and somehow calls himself a pacifist. He’s a hippie stoner who is objectively terrible at his job and a lot of the writers actually hate him. I have most his figures, except the golden lagoon set bc its expensive and g1 because I’m picky. He’s just fun to write, fun to read, and just a blast. Like, in his debut episode, he abandons his allies like 3 separate times and technically commits fraternization in the same episode. I love him so much.

At least I hope he’s different from me...

19. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

Any information I write is going to be as accurate as I can make it. I won’t write false information and I do research everything; if I can’t find a source or accuracy, I’ll either re-write it or write around it. I hate people making up shit tbh, like, it’s a huge pet peeve of mine.

....all i can think of at the moment is literal research papers i’ve written, -especially since I haven’t written anything intensive in a long while - but I did run a beachcomber rp blog for a bit. So if you ever see me like, pepper in weird slang, that’s why lol. I ended up using it so much I internalized a lot of it, man.

20. do you ever have trouble focusing on writing? how do you get around that? tell us. please, tell us. I, the OP of this ask list, desperately need advice on how to focus.

Every fucking day of my life. I just remind myself that you can edit words but you can’t edit a blank page. I also skip around a lot so if I don’t wanna write it, I can stall and do something else; but that means that I end up with a lot of ‘boring’ stuff in the end. I also tell friends about my plans so I get forced into writing lmao. 

23. okay, now that we had that nice one: what’s your WORST writing habit? dig deep, own up to your crimes.

I have a few lmao. I am never satisfied and will edit my work to HELL, even if it’s already on ao3. Apparently I don’t think highly of myself or of my work and I should do that. I’m bad at long fics and get bored easily, despite my plans; I’m a lotta talk. I focus wayyy too much on small scenes and thus can waste time writing about literally NOTHING. I don’t always have plot anddd I lose plot easily when I have it. I also get trapped in tenses and pov and can find it hard to switch around; all my work kinda blends together. also whats an attention span?

I also don’t branch out with characters enough, I write very similar and with the same characters,  and stay in my comfort zone; but I’ve been trying to work on that

 @funghoulies

[possibilistfanfiction]

Sutton D Brady is an actual angel on this earth thats all i really have if you want to do something with that

[ok honestly this is like five times sutton accidentally is a third wheel on a date w kat & adena + one time she isn’t (she hangs out w kat as her best friend pls don’t be weird pls do not) lmao poor sutton but don’t worry its cute]

//

1

you don’t really realize that kat had invited you as a third wheel on this date until it’s too late. you had had a really slow day at the office and kat had made up some excuse for both of you to have to leave, which you don’t think oliver or jacqueline had really bought but it’s a beautiful day and you had been a little down that morning about richard—it comes and goes, who knows why you were sad today—anyway.

kat takes you out for a late lunch somewhere in north bedstuy that serves southern comfort food and when you ask her how she knew about it she just shrugged, smiled, got you a bottle of rosé to share. 

you’re definitely a little day drunk and feeling a lot better, because kat had made you laugh a lot with distracting dumb stories and reports from this focus group she’d had to run, and you walk to the C afterward so you can go to the piers and get ice cream, even though you’re so. full.

you’re almost at ample when you see who you’re 99% sure is adena from a distance, and kat grins, this huge smile lighting up her face.

it definitely is adena, who is in a pretty hijab and these killer flowy dark green pants, and kat gives her a quick kiss.

‘i was nearby at my friend’s office in dumbo,’ she explains. ‘i hope it’s okay?’

she genuinely says it like a question, like she would leave if you said no, and kat scoffs but adena looks to you.

‘it’s definitely okay,’ you say, and it is, because you want to spend more time with your best friend’s girlfriend; from what you can tell, kat is definitely in it for the long haul. ‘i’m glad we get to hang out.’

‘me too,’ adena says, and asks about your day. kat jumps in so you don’t have to tell her how you’re ditching work because you were a little upset and you could hug her for it, but she’s holding adena’s hand and they walk beside you, both paying complete attention to you, but their hands are linked and they’re quite literally the most beautiful couple you’ve ever seen, you’re pretty sure. it makes you ache a little more but adena buys you all ice cream and you sit at pier three in the gardens and the city is beautiful behind you; it’s quiet.

kat licks melting ice cream off of adena’s hand and it makes adena roll her eyes and it makes you laugh and you definitely realize this part of your day was absolutely a date.

but then, after you’ve finished your ice cream, adena leaves to go do some editing on a shoot she’d finished last week; she kisses kat goodbye and gives you a tight, heartfelt hug.

‘good to see you, sutton,’ she says.

‘yeah,’ you say, ‘you too.’

kat is a little stunned watching adena walk away, you think, from her wide eyes and dumb ass little smile.

‘i’m definitely falling in love,’ she says.

you laugh at your friend and she helps you up and then shoves you a little, cheeks turning pink. 

‘you’re absolutely already in love,’ you tell her, wrap your arm around her shoulders as you walk toward high street. 

‘yeah, i guess.’

‘you are.’ you bump her hip and she smiles. ‘it’s great though, kat.’

she lets out a deep breath and goes to hold your hand, but you swat it away. ‘i don’t know where that thing has been.’

‘i’ve washed my hands today, sutton.’

‘ah, so you have had sex.’

kat lifts a brow and strides off in front of you. ‘i like to start my mornings with cardio, what can i say?’

‘you’re terrible,’ you grumble, but it’s fond and you and kat fall asleep on your couch once you get home, trying to get through the staircase in like your fifth attempt.

you wake up to jane taking a series of pictures of the two of you and you groan and kat just burrows into the pillows.

‘she’s tired,’ you explain, ‘from her sex fest this morning.’

‘whatever,’ she says. ‘be jealous all you want.’

//

2

it’s very clearly a date to you this time about ten minutes in, even though this is the most ridiculous date ever.

all you had wanted to do was get bread, milk, eggs, and ginger beer from trader joe’s and you were already near downtown brooklyn anyway, because jane had some weird work drinks thing at kimoto and you could both just take the train back from hoyt. you had been at target with kat because it’s like the most pleasant dissociative episode ever, each time you’re there, and somehow adena finds the two of your in the middle of the home decor section, kisses kat hello and then manages to find the ugliest mirror you have ever seen in your life, which had made you both laugh.

you’d met jane in the grocery store and of course the line is long as shit, and kat and adena wander off to find halal chicken nuggets, apparently, and you and jane watch them with a synchronized sigh as the white dude with dreads in front of you fumbles with his kombucha.

‘did they just turn a grocery run into a date?’ you ask.

‘kat has been on a melodrama loop lately. you know, hard feelings.’

‘i honestly thought that was because of liability.’

jane waits a beat and then lets out a big laugh, a good laugh. ‘incredible,’ she says. ‘what a drag.’

you shrug. ‘what can i say? the library is open.’

kat and adena come back and kat says, ‘paris is burning,’ dramatically and with absolutely zero context.

they’re holding hands and have found the halal nuggets in dramatic fashion because the box adena’s holding is gigantic. 

‘we were reading you,’ jane says.

kat rolls her eyes. ‘about what?’ she asks. ‘i’m perfect.’

‘chaotic neutral big dick energy,’ you say.

kat grins and adena laughs.

‘that’s not a read,’ kat says, and you and jane have an unspoken agreement, you’re sure, to never tell kat about how you know she’s really terrified she’s going to fuck everything up with adena because you can see what sh’e listening to on spotify—blond and ctrl and melodrama, yikes—so you let her have it.

‘here, ms big dick energy,’ jane says, handing over the ginger beer which is admittedly a little heavy. ‘hold this.’

kat sighs and hefts it up like she’s doing a bicep curl only her arm shakes a little and it’s adena who laughs first.

you and jane grin and start laughing too and it’s not the worst date ever, you guess.

//

3

you’d definitely made plans to watch nanette with kat at 7 pm thursday night, because you’d seen it and you knew sacrificing your own tears a second time would be vital because kat’s really been through a lot of ‘identity politics,’ as jane calls them, the past few months, even though she acts like it doesn’t affect her very much.

you’re sure these were your plans because she’d put them into your phone herself, so you’re a little confused as to why she’s not answering her door and you’re holding a bottle of wine and a bag of truffle butter popcorn you’d stollen from a shoot earlier and it’s hot as shit in her hallway. 

when you try the door, though, it’s unlocked, thank god, even though you’re a little worried, so you go in.

you are, sadly but also hilariously, not surprised when you see kat completely naked in bed, her computer propped up next to her kind of clumsily, and her head shoots up in your direction and says, ‘shit, adena, i’m sorry, i gotta go,’ and slams her computer shut.

you start to laugh and she tries to wipe her hand on her sheets without you noticing and scrambles around to find a pair of underwear.

‘i’ve seen you naked, like, a thousand times,’ you say, getting out wine glasses, because you’d definitely just walked in on your best friend having facetime sex with her girlfriend but honestly you’re surprised it’s taken you this long at this point. ‘don’t hurry on my account.’

kat throws on a t-shirt and walks over to you, a little smirk on her face. ‘i lost track of time.’

‘you sure did.’

she laughs because you’re smiling and goes to grab a handful of popcorn.

‘are you kidding me?’

‘i’m hungry.’

‘wash your hands, kat.’

‘it was the other hand, i swear to god.’

you lift a brow and she grumbles but dutifully scrubs at her hands while keeping eye contact with you. the back of her hair is coming out of its bun and her cheeks are flushed and she dries her hands with a flourish. ‘happy now?’

‘not as happy as you.’

kat has the courtesy to blush even more. ‘adena’s been gone for two weeks shooting in indonesia—’

‘—oh, we know—’

‘—so i just, you know, missed her.’

‘gay.’

kat huffs. ‘i’m bi.’ she thinks to herself. ‘queer?’

you kiss her cheek, start to pour the wine. ‘i can’t believe i crashed a date when your girlfriend isn’t even in the country.’

kat takes the glass of wine you hand her and lifts it in a toast. ‘i’m sorry.’

you shrug. ‘don’t be. i’m glad you’re happy.’

you clink glasses. ‘me too.’

you sit down on her couch and she grabs popcorn and this time you don’t mind.

‘this is going to ruin your mood for sure, though.’

kat sighs. ‘so i’ve heard.’

you’re both crying by the end and kat burrows into your side, sniffling.

‘stay here tonight?’

‘buy me coffee in the morning,’ you say, even though you have a full outfit for tomorrow and all of your makeup in your bag anyway, because you know her.

‘breakfast too, even that disgusting sandwich with sausage if you want.’

‘deal.’

kat smiles a little and you go to get in her bed wearily before you remember exactly what activity she was doing earlier.

‘change the sheets first, kat.’

‘i’m so tired,’ she pouts.

you raise your brows.

‘so sad, sutton.’

you stand your ground and she rolls her eyes and stomps around but you help her change the sheets.

‘i love you,’ she says, once you’re both situated.

‘i love you too, kat.’

‘you’ve been, just, really important to me in all this, really good, you know that?’

‘yeah,’ you say. ‘i’m the best.’

/

you wake up to pee in the middle of the night and it’s like 2 am but kat is texting adena, you know, because she’s turned over in bed and there’s a little light radiating from her phone. you don’t say anything because you understand mostly but maybe a little you don’t, and she puts away her phone.

‘time difference,’ she says, and you know it’s about comfort and love but you let her have it.

‘tragic.’

‘she’ll be home in a few days.’

‘great,’ you say, ‘because i really don’t think facetime is fully doing it for you. you’ve been a tightly wound pain in the ass to all of your interns lately.’

you’re both a little delirious so you end up laughing and it’s warm and safe and you fall back asleep.

//

4

you’re walking back to kat’s apartment from chelsea, where you’d been to see adena’s latest gallery show—which was really stunning and featured your best friend, a lot, so you cannot wait to tease her later—and they’re holding hands and they keep kissing, light little kisses and it’s cute and really sweet and you love them a lot.

jane is talking about the paintings that were at the show too and it’s a beautiful night, a little chilly after a rainstorm, and it’s late, but there’s really no place you’d rather be.

it’s awesome and peaceful and sort of perfect until some random dude walks past the four of you, takes one look at kat and adena, and says a word that makes adena grit her teeth and jane stiffen and you’re absolutely positive kat is going to get into a fight when she turns around immediately.

‘what the fuck,’ she says, and you’ve seen kat angry and you’ve seen kat hurt and you’ve seen kat genuinely confused and this is all of those things at once, which is. not great.

adena tugs on her hand. ‘kat,’ she says, and from the immediate weariness in her voice you can tell this is certainly not the first time someone has called her a slur. it makes your heart ache and jane is so tiny but she’s already stepping between kat and the dude, and you do too.

he doesn’t seem fazed at all and says it again and you swear to god kat is about to lose her fucking mind and you feel furious too, but it’s not safe for any of you to get into an actual physical fight with this dude and you’re also really fucking terrified.

‘kat,’ you say, tug on her shoulder hard. her jaw clenches and she swallows and then says, ‘fuck you,’ at the dude and to your relief turns around.

adena takes her hand again but it’s not the same gentleness they’d had just a few seconds ago, because mostly she just pulls kat down the street quickly.

jane is absolutely your favorite person in the world because she stands her ground until you can tell they’re far enough down the block.

‘i’m going to call the police,’ jane says, her phone already on 911, all she has to do is press call. 

the guy narrows his eyes, looks at her brightly lit phone, and turns around, starts to walk away quickly.

‘oh my god,’ she says, puts her phone in her pocket and you hold her hand immediately because it is shaking.

you both take a few deep breaths and walk toward where kat and adena had gone, and you’re really not surprised when you see kat pacing back and forth around the next street corner, holding her phone in a white knuckled grip, while adena just stands calmly, quiet.

she sees the two of you and launches into a hug and she’s crying and shaking and it makes you really fucking sad and really fucking angry that her life is going to have shit like this in it.

none of you says anything and you go back to her apartment and open a really good bottle of whiskey her parents had gotten her for her birthday and you and jane busy yourself making sandwiches for everyone while kat and adena talk quietly in the corner.

you glance over and kat brushes some of adena’s hair behind her ear and adena rubs her hand under kat’s eye, wiping some tears. kat takes a deep breath and kisses adena deeply and you and jane wait for, like, a full minute before loudly announcing that you’re done with the sandwiches and would definitely like to do a shot.

it gets a laugh out of kat and adena smiles in thanks at the two of you and you get drunk watching every single hayley kiyoko music video on youtube.

/

the next day you and jane get to work before kat and the little rainbow flag fits perfectly in her mason jar of styluses—weirdo, but you let her have it—on her desk. 

you meet her in the lobby thirty minutes later and buy her coffee and you’d left late last night sufficiently drunk so you’re all hungover but you hug her tight and you and jane watch when she goes to her desk.

she smiles, soft and tender and big, and looks over to the two of you.

jane winks and you do finger guns and you hear kat laughing as you walk toward the fashion department.

//

5

you don’t realize that kat took you to a queer night at union pool until you’re there, but you honestly don’t mind at all because not one person has touched your ass or just assumed you wanted another drink.

kat and adena hang out with you long enough that you and kat finish two drinks and then kat’s eyes start drifting down to adena’s boobs and adena’s hand snakes around kat’s back and you laugh and tell them to go dance, that you’ll be fine.

and you definitely are totally fine, because someone super cute—reggie, you find out—comes up and sits next to you, buys you another drink after they’ve asked if you want one.

you’re verging on drunk but suddenly you remember some fucking soliloquy kat had gone on the other day after a queer panel jacqueline had had her speak on while you were all doing face masks before grey’s anatomy and so you ask, ‘hey, what are your pronouns?’

reggie smiles and says, ‘they/them,’ and you nod.

‘cool,’ you say. ‘she/her.’

distantly you think kat would be really proud but reggie smiles at you and asks if you want to dance and you try to find kat and adena for a second but you have no idea where they went off to, but you definitely do want to dance.

it’s fun and reggie is handsome and has braids that might be even better than kat’s—you’d never tell her because she wouldn’t talk to you for, like, a day probably—and tomboy by princess nokia comes on and it’s fun and you’re laughing and you’re sure your best friend is living her best fucking life because you have heard this song more times in the past two weeks from her spotify than you have in years.

reggie grins and it doesn’t feel odd at all to kiss them, because you’re dancing and it’s sexy and you’re having fun. you dance some more and go to the bar to get some water, eventually, and kat finds you there, her lipstick definitely more adena’s shade now than it was before they went off somewhere and adena is trying to fix her hijab.

they’re ridiculous and in love and kat grins at you while she closes your tab and you’re really fucking tired but you get reggie’s number before you head out with your friends.

‘who was that?’ adena asks, squished between the two of you in the back of a lyft but she’s resting her head on kat’s shoulder and they both look far too sated for having just danced.

‘reggie,’ you say. kat winks. ‘they’re cute.’

kat reaches across adena to give you a high five and then definitely performs a very clumsy and incredibly obvious boob graze on her girlfriend and they make eyes at each other and you clear your throat for posterity.

you don’t mind at all, though, really, not even a little bit.

//

1

shit with your mom has been fucked up and exhausting and dating is fun but kind of lonely, really, and it’s so nice outside but jane is knee deep in an article about neighborhood segregation and public school districts and you’re just.

a little achy.

kat texts you and asks if you want to go to prospect park for a picnic and you almost say no, because you fucking love adena but they’re so in love and so happy sometimes they just make your loneliness worse, even though that’s a shitty thing to think—they do.

but you say yes because you definitely need to not watch dark tourist all day and you get ready and are remarkably there on time even with delays on the Q.

you’re surprised when kat is waiting for you by herself, lounging on a bench near the market with sunglasses and an actual, honest to good book.

‘hey,’ you say, and she stands to give you a hug. ‘where’s your girlfriend.’

‘i don’t do everything with her,’ kat says. ‘but she’s at her office today. she got nominated for some big award and instead of wanting to celebrate she just went right back to work.’

‘ah, so that’s why you get along so well,’ you say, take off in the direction of your favorite bread stall. ‘workaholics.’

kat scoffs and pushes you but she doesn’t bother to argue.

‘so i’m second choice, then.’

you say it as a light joke and you don’t think that at all but you’re in A Mood and it comes out more serious than you intended.

‘what?’ kat says, grabs your arm and turns to face you, flicks her sunglasses up. ‘you’re never my second choice, sutton. i love you so fucking much.’

you sniffle and you hate that you’re going to cry all of a sudden and kat frowns and pulls you into a hug.

‘i’m sorry if i’ve ever made you feel otherwise.’

you shake your head into her shoulder and your, ‘you don’t, you haven’t,’ comes out a little muffled but you feel her nod so you know she heard.

‘okay.’

you sigh and back up and wipe under your eyes. kat still looks concerned so you shake your head. ‘just—stuff with babs, dating sucks, all of that.’

‘yeah.’ she heads toward the bread stall too, even though you hadn’t said anything.

‘do you want to talk about it?’ she picks out an olive oil and rosemary loaf and you really fucking love her. 

‘not right now,’ you say.

she nods. ‘well, i brought champagne.’

‘incredible.’

you buy cheese and fruit and walk to a place near the lake, lay out the blanket kat had brought, one she’d gotten in peru, which makes you grin because you know she’d thought of you and jane and your picnics when she’d found it.

she talks about her latest project at work and you lowkey want to inform her that she’s an influencer now but she’s a little arrogant enough already honestly so you just let her have this one. you make little sandwiches and you make her put sunscreen on even when she whines about it because the UV index is 10 today and jane would kill you both if you got sunburned.

you lay down and talk about music and the actual paper copy of a book she was reading and how she might want a tattoo and you pet like six dogs and eventually you sit up and grin.

‘this is wild, but we’re already on the Q so do you want to go to coney island?’

she laughs and shrugs. ‘why the hell not?’

you gather your stuff and she leans against you on the train, sundrunk and exhausted, and you’re both sweaty and not at all glamorous and this is exactly what you needed.

she patiently stands in line with you at nathan’s and only moderately complains about all the tourists, and you’re both in denim shorts but she stands with you in the ocean eating her hot dog and laughs when you take a boomerang and you walk back to the train eventually, so tired and much, much lighter than you’d felt this morning.

you ride together and are quiet, and it’s easy and you’re both way more grown up now, but you’ve been best friends for five years and you think you’re really fucking lucky.

she gets ready to get off at canal, before you at 14th, and gives you a weirdly positioned hug—you’re still sitting and she’s stood up—and it makes you both laugh.

‘that was the best day,’ she says. ‘thanks.’

‘have fun celebrating tonight.’

‘are you kidding? i’m so tired i’m just going to watch dark tourist and go to sleep.’

you laugh. ‘love me some good problematic binge watching.’

kat grins. ‘always.’

the train comes to a stop and she waves. ‘love you, sutton.’

‘love you too, kat.’

[shadowtearling]

SEPTEMBER 2018 — I read a good variety of books this month! From romance to middle grade to adult fantasy and more in between. I’m ~expanding my horizons~ lol. I’m quite happy with my reading :D

Hate to Want You by Alisha Rai

This is the healthiest toxic relationship ever? That sounds weird to say but it’s true? I had no idea what I was walking into when I picked this up (only that it was recommended to me, and I was in need of romance lol). I really like the talk about mental health and getting help and learning to get better even if it’s a slow and painful process. I also just love [spoiler]. 

The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare

I have found love in the historical romance genre, and it’s great. I didn’t realize that Tessa Dare was like The Writer for this genre because I don’t know much about it in the first place. But I’m really glad she was the first I picked up because I really just love this so much. I can’t even explain myself, but this was so much fun. I laughed a lot, and there were so many beautiful soft moments of learning to love yourself as well as letting other people in. It was unexpected in the best way. I’m definitely going to pick up the next book in this series and check out more Tessa Dare in the future! :D

REREAD! Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

I wanted to reread this before I dove into all the Pride and Prejudice adaptations my little heart desired. I didn’t even plan that. But it happened, and I don’t regret it. Having read it this second time made me see just how scandalous this book was lmao. I will say, too, that the ending is one of Austen’s better ones. It wasn’t rushed the way a lot of her other novels are. But really, I’m here for the angst. And Mr. Bennet is the worst dad ever, but he’s funny lol

A Thousand Beginnings and Endings edited by Elsie Chapman and Ellen Oh

I feel like I’ve talked this book to death. It is just like other anthologies out there, full of stories both good and bad or ones you resonate with more than others. I initially picked it up for the two Filipino-centric stories because I’m always looking for that. However, neither really took my breath away the way I wanted them to. I did enjoy a handful of the stories and would still recommend this because it’s full of interesting myths that I feel like I learned a lot. (Review here, stories ranked!)

Two Dark Reigns by Kendare Blake

Listen, I love Billy Junior a lot, and it is a disservice to not have him in every single scene ever. As ever, I really enjoy this series, though it’s definitely not for everyone. I like its unpredictability because you really just never know where anything is going. It’s a soft kind of wild ride, I guess. It’s easy to get sucked into this world. I think Fennbirn (now versus the Mainland) is interesting, and I always love the world building. I love learning about past queens and how they contributed to making Fennbirn what it is as the three queens know it. Though for that ending, I’m really just about to reach into the book and choke Mirabella lmao. 

Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed reading this. I say that because I really had no expectations, but from page one I fell in love with Cimorene and her no-bullshit attitude. I loved her relationship with the dragons and just how well-rounded she is as a character. Of all the four POVs, hers is definitely my favorite. She’s so witty and fun. We stan a legend.

Calling on Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede

My favorite in the series! I love Mendanbar even though he’s a dick about other princesses. This is the one that made me really giddy because you know he’s fighting a losing battle against his feelings ;) It was a lot of fun learning about his type of magic (and then Telemain’s), and this was basically a magical roadtrip involving dragons, wizards, and love. 

Searching for Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede

I like Morwen. I think she’s a really interesting character, and the cats were a fun addition to the story. However, out of all the books in the series, this is the most forgettable. I say that because I barely remember anything that happened in this. What I do remember is Killer, who was overbearing at times and, in my opinion, not all that necessary to the plot save for his introduction as the plot’s catalyst. 

Talking to Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede

If book 3 is the most forgettable, this one is the most... unnecessary? I should forgive it its faults because it was written before the other three were and is technically the foundation of the series, but I found that I didn’t care for Daystar as much as I would have liked. Being in first person didn’t help his case because dude felt almost emotionless. I was also bored the entire way through this book because I knew everything that Daystar didn’t. And I was frustrated for it. If I’d read this first, I would have enjoyed it more. But as it is now presented as the fourth book, it just feels like a summary of the last three books and one whose ending was already predicted in the third book.

The Queens of Innis Lear by Tessa Gratton

I don’t hate this, I don’t love it, but it’s not average. A really big issue is that though the writing in this is really pretty and matches the atmosphere of the world, it is also most of the time empty and unnecessary. This book could have been 100-200 pages shorter. Everything was overexplained but not a lot actually added to the story. I also couldn’t understand the organization of the chapters where sometimes there’s a devoted section for a flashback and others it’s just thrown into someone’s POV. If you know what happens in King Lear, you basically know what happens in this. The magic system was interesting, but the ending was hella anti-climactic. I’m conflicted. (Review here, with spoiler section!)

[beaft]

THANK YOU for that post about asexuality. It seems that the trend nowadays is to mock asexuals and I shy from identifying as asexual on here because I don't want people coming for me

same here, dude. (also you’re welcome! solidarity

like - i can post about being queer/nonbinary, and on the whole i’m met with support and solidarity from everyone. i post about being ace, and you know what happens? people unfollow me. in droves. my follower count has already gone down by six as a result of making my last post, and i have no doubt that it will continue to drop. 

not to sound like a crusty old grandpa, but i vividly  remember when i first joined this site and the attitude towards asexual people was overwhelmingly positive - there was the whole “ace people + cake” meme, jokes about ace pirates not wanting booty, pitches for a tv show about ace/aro people with some kind of punny name, all that kinda stuff. okay, it seems cringey now, but it was still sweet and largely harmless. and it got attention! hundreds of thousands of notes! now, the few positivity posts i see rarely have more than 1k, and there’s always some asshole in the comments going “wow this is so embarrassing lmao” or “this post gave me acid reflux” or something along those lines. 

it’s frankly depressing, and i’m really not sure at what point the online community decided to do a 180 and start attacking the people it previously supported. all i know is that it’s become the new Cool Thing to do, and it’s useless confronting people about it, because they either refuse to listen and make fun of you or they spread your name around/send you hate from various sockpuppet accounts (both of which i’ve experienced, fwiw). this site was pretty fucking embarrassing Back In The Day, but if i had to choose between a) badly-edited pictures of dean winchester with a flower crown or b) endless passive-aggressive posts about how people like me are what’s wrong with the queer community, i’d go for the first one every time. 

[saidbyes-blog]

( & * THE LIBERTINE !

( nina nesbitt. demigirl. she/her. ) // did you see who walked past just then ? couldn’t really tell from the distance but i think it’s ( ebony harrison ) actually ! the ( twenty-four ) year old is a little ( unreliable ) if you ask me but they’re also ( kind-hearted ). i heard that when they opened the capsule, they took out the ( watch ) that they’d left seventeen years ago. i wonder what that even means to them especially now that they’re a ( bartender ) ?

in the wise words of trixie mattel: aaaahhhh ! i’m so excited ijshjhnshns, but anyway -- hi ! i’m pace ( she / her ) and this little pain in my entire ass is ebony. i’ll try and keep this on the shorter side ( as i always make these things WAY too long ) both for your sake in terms of reading, and because eb’s story is a little on the sadder side at times, and tbh i don’t wanna dwell on it bc she’s not like ?? a gloomy character or anything ?? but ya i’ll try and keep it brief !

trigger warnings for death !

----- ❀ fun fact: i intended for ebony to be an adjusted version of a character i already had, and planned to mould her around the skeleton and the setting and whatnot, but....... that just didn’t happen ??? ebony came to me very quickly & i wasn’t even expecting her lmao ? so a couple of details are based on That Other Character, but the rest just kind of happened ?? me, playing a brand new character in a rp ???? sounds fake ??? what can i say my dudes the skeleton got me good 

----- ❀ her label is the libertine, meaning her item she put n the time capsule was the watch ! long story short, it was her dad’s, who died unexpectedly very close to the time of the carnival. he claimed the watch to be a family heirloom, but they found out after he died that that was bullshit, and it was worth nothing, and since he lied about it, the sentimental value was gone, too. not to be emo but the watch broke as he fell, so the hands are stuck at the time he died ( well, he didn’t die instantly, but it sure as hell wasn’t long after ) so that’s.............fun. fixing it would cost more than the watch was worth, so they didn’t bother. ebony’s parents had fought just before he died, and he’d been kicked out their home, so his parents blamed ebony’s mum, and ebony’s mum blamed herself, too, but she was so angry about the watch that ebony didn’t let it out of her sight ?? just in case her mum smashed it or threw it away. so when they went to the carnival, eb just kind of ???? had in on her ??? and she didn’t intend to put it in the time capsule it just sort of.................happened ?? but even though she was only seven at the time, she hasn’t regretted it ? like looking back on it now as a messy as fuck adult, it was the right thing to do ? he never took it off, so having it in the house would just be a constant reminder of ‘hey, your dad’s dead ! and he was a liar, too !’ so allowing her seventeen years to mourn his death and come to terms with it, and then getting her hands back on the watch, was smart ? obviously she didn’t think that far ahead at the time, but. 

----- ❀ she’s actually back in town because of the time capsule. ebony is always full of surprises, and anybody who knew about the watch, whether they put something in the time capsule too, or she just told them about it on her travels, might be surprised she’d go back to lorfield for a broken watch ? she,,,, cannot commit to anything ?? let along a tatty old watch ?? and when things get too real, or too tough, she just.........ditches. she just can’t deal with stuff, it makes her feel trapped and claustrophobic, and she just cannot deal with it ?? sometimes she just ditches hangouts and friend circles, and sometimes she’ll skip town entirely, it really depends. but anyway, the watch had lost some of it’s detail in her memory in seventeen years, and that alone is enough to give her a reality check, like how long it’s actually been, how important things can be, how she’s actually quite glad to  have the watch back ? she always thought it’d be bigger, too. like it’s a little bulkier than what she’d choose if she was just.............buying a watch, because she’s got thin wrists, but because she was only seven, she just ??? always thought the watch was bigger ???

----- ❀ anyway, her label. the libertine is defined as ‘a person who behaves without moral principles or a sense of responsibility, especially in sexual matters.’ on the main, and ‘a person, especially a man, who freely indulges in sensual pleasures without regard to moral principles.’ on the ol’ google. for ebony, it expands from just sexual immorality, into immoral everything, but including sex. she drops everything at any given moment, and does so with ease; she has no responsibilities and will own up to none of them even when they do become present. and morally she’s just.......... wrong ? she knows what is morally right and what isn’t, she just can’t allow that to influence how she does things ? she doesn’t  think before she does anything, which means that half the shit she does is on impulse, and is then regretted. she doesn’t think ‘the libertine’ is a very flattering label, tbh ? not because of the sexual attachments to it, or because of the flakiness, but mostly just because it’s true. 

----- ❀ personality wise,,,,,,,, she a mess. like i said, morals ? she doesn’t know her !!! she’s hard to be understood, doesn’t like anybody trying to understand her, but wants somebody in her life who does understand her. the problem is, she doesn’t even understand herself.  she really doesn’t mean to be selfish, she genuinely doesn’t, but she is ? but on the other hand, she’s kind ? pretty gentle ? very forgiving ? expels all kinds of confidence that she just does. not. have ? but she’s selfish and flaky and craves things she doesn’t let people get close enough to have ?

----- ❀ she changes her appearance quite a lot tbh. might take a hot minute for some people to recognise her at times, depending on what she looked like when she knew them ? 

----- ❀ tbh i can see a lot of the people she knows / used to know being all kinds of annoyed with her ? like it’s very much a case of, you think everything is fine, you’re getting on great, but then the real shit happens and oh look ebony’s gone. she just can’t ???? deal with anything ???? so she doesn’t ??? it’s infuriating, especially as a person who she may have ditched at some point ? and it’s so clear WHY she disappears. she thinks her problems will be left behind, but they just catch up to her eventually and she just won’t admit that maybe that means she’s the problem, and that she can’t just abandon everything all the time and expect that to fix things. there are so many things in life she can’t control, and it’s just so overwhelming to her, so when she can control things, like where she stays and who she’s with and who she wakes up to in the morning, she does ? and when she is called out on her bullshit, she’s so casual about it that it’s believable ?? and she knows she can’t be like this forever but owning up to it and putting a stop to it means having to admit it, and some things are buried so deep that it’ll take work to put them right or to deal with them, and it’s just so much easier for her to ignore it. 

----- ❀ i’m working on a full bio for her, but it may take a while since the last bio i wrote was about six thousand words ( yikes ! ) but for now, she has stats !

----- ❀ gender is messy and ebony’s just accepted that tbh. her pronouns are she / her, but she does appreciate it when people use they / them if she hasn’t, like, explicitly said what her pronouns are ? idk, she just doesn’t want people to forget that she’s not A Girl™ ? bc like just bc she presents femininely and mostly identifies as the gender she was assigned at birth, doesn’t make her any less nb ??? u know ??? like even pals she’s said this too, and they could even be nb themselves, she’s still convinced they’ll ? not see her as nb and just ?? forget she’s not a woman ? on that note, though, she doesn’t mind being referred to as a girl on ????? her own terms ??? like her mobile header literally says ‘sad girls club’ but ? on her own terms, y’know ?? anyway, if we could refrain from referring to her as like ‘the girl’ or ‘the woman’ in replies, that’d be great ! 

----- ❀ tldr: ebony is everybody’s least favourite messy, woke, flaky, but soft, angel forward slash demon, who has mastered the ‘art’ of a) never dealing with anything ever b) crying then acting like she’s never cried in her life and she’s fine five minutes later and c) subtly leaning over the bar at work, claiming it to be because she can’t hear her customer, but it’s actually so her shirt gets caught and gets pulled down a little. bc tips. plus fun. plus it makes her feel smug. i hate her. 

okay so..........keeping it short went well then. but i’m honestly so tired rn so this may not even make sense, and i may have to go to sleep and get stuck into replies and starters and whatnot in the morning, but i’m v excited to be here and plot with your kiddos !! i kind of lowkey suck at plotting, and messaging makes me anxious, but i shall try my damn hardest, and  H O N E S T L Y everybody’s characters look so fecking good i’m cryin

edit: i threw together a connections page, that i will update and do properly when i’m more awake !

[coffebabes]

Frats and Freckles

Oh geez. My first fic for the Zane/Heath pairing. I had so much fun writing this thing. It went through a hundred edits, but none of them for grammar or syntax lmao. This quick fic ended up being 3500+ words because I just kept adding to it. It’s VERY loosely based off of this video. So maybe it’s kinda a AU bc of that. 

I hope you enjoy the fic, and thank you to anyone who takes time to read this!

Zane was a bit embarrassed to admit he only had one thing running through his mind as he was furiously tip-toeing around the house looking for his camera- the drunk stranger currently sleeping in his bed was content gold.

Granted the click-bait literally wrote itself in this situation, it wasn’t lost on him how not normal his reaction was.

Opting not to go out with everyone else that night in the college town they lived in, Zane decided to hit the gym for a bit. He won’t lie, the 20-minute run tired him out more than he knows it should’ve. But, it helped justify him heading back home a little less than an hour later. After a few half assed bicep curls and a set of weak crunches, Zane was collecting his things and heading out.

The gym was about a ten-minute walk from his house, giving Zane plenty of time to mull over what he was going to put in this week’s vlog. Everyone’s videos had started to meld into the same story caught from different angles, which he hated.

Zane had always sort of prided himself on being able to put his own flavor onto his videos to cut through the thousands on vlog channels out there. He didn’t have the resources or mad scientist mind David did, or the dynamic duo Carly and Erin had going for them, but he pulled in a modest amount of viewers with his uploads. This week though, Zane figured her would have to settle with a few mediocre bits he got with Scott and Todd. He had nothing new to show that hadn’t already been seen on David’s channel literally a million times already.

Taking a break from his thoughts, Zane quietly cursed himself and global warming for him not thinking he needed to bring a sweater on this early fall LA night. The closer he got to his house, the chiller the air became. His sweat soaked gym shirt only made it worse. But catching pneumonia again was the least annoying thought as Zane realized he was quickly approaching Greek row.

It was a single street where the biggest and most popular fraternities and sororities had their chapter houses. Usually, Zane didn’t mind talking this way home. It was nice sometimes to aimlessly wonder down the street. Listen to the symphony of house music and loud millennials having the time of their lives. Wondering what could have been if he himself went to college if he hadn’t found vine, which eventually turned into YouTube.

On this particular night though, the trap music spilling out of open windows and doors attacked Zane’s ears. He couldn’t hear himself think. Mix in the mini crowds of seven to nine drunken college kids he had to push through every few feet, and this was just going to be one of those nights. Zane crossed his arms over his chest, and rushed the last few minutes to his house.

Soon he was making the familiar turn from the main road onto his street. Half a minute later his two-story house was in view.

He felt his mood lift as he came up to the house. The front door was open and the living room lights were on. Someone must have decided to have an early night. Maybe he could pull a challenge out of his ass with whoever was home. Better yet, maybe who ever was home was drunk of their ass and it could be a drunk roommate challenge.

With this surge of hope for a not shitty video, Zane rushed the last few steps through the open door.

“Scott? Todd?” Zane yelled after stepping in and shutting the door behind.

No one answered. The pause lasted long enough for a drop of dread to run down Zane’s back. What if someone had broken in and he was interrupting his own home invasion. Those were the dangerous with living in a neighborhood packed with college kids. Everyone was usually drunk out of their minds on the weekend, and doors were left open. A locked door was no fun to deal with after a night out.

Just as he was reaching behind him to head back out and call the cops or something equally dramatic, Zane heard a drunken groan come from down the hallway.

“Scott, is that you,” Zane asked as he inched across the open floor-plan living room towards the dark hallway. His sneakers squeaked with every slow step he took on the fake wood paneling.

Another groan in return was enough for Zane to steal himself. Maybe one of his friends was home and too drunk to care for themselves. He made the last few steps and finally turned towards the hallway. Looking down the hallway, the only light Zane saw was coming from behind his door. Relief washed over Zane.

It must be either Scott or Todd. They sometimes commandeered his room for a night when their own rooms were further than their too lit feet could carry them. Zane didn’t mind too much though. That’s what friends were for.

It was with a fond smile on his face, and tension leaving his shoulders, that he quickly walked towards his room and pushed the door open.

“Scott what the fuck hap-” Zane managed to get out before his eyes adjusted to the light and he saw who was in his bed.

First and most importantly, it was neither Scott nor Todd who was wrapped like a burrito in his black and grey comforter. Secondly, whoever this guy was he over the moon drunk. Actually, Zane could see he was in the drunken sweet spot just before things turned bad. He was lolling back and forth the extra large twin sized bed with a dopey grin settled on his lips.

Maybe it was the blissed out grin the guy was wearing, or the tufts of dark auburn hair Zane could see sticking out from underneath a sideways snapback. Whatever it was, Zane couldn’t bring his anger to stick for too long. He stood in the doorframe a beat too long before his brain caught up to his eyes, and he decided to act.

“Yo, dude what the fuck,” he yelled from the doorway, “what are you doing in here?”

That knocked the grin off the strangers face. However, in place of a reply the man in bed simply turned his back to Zane and pulled the dark-blue pillow over his head.

Zane wasn’t expecting that. He had prepared for more of a drunken range, or at least an answer for this weird situation. Hell maybe even an apology. But who ever this guy was, he couldn’t be bothered to even acknowledge Zane right now.

A little annoyed Zane stepped forward to ask his question with more force when his words stopped half up his throat. Three years of being friends with David had trained him for moments exactly like these. Content had literally broken into his house and was laying in front of him in bed ready for the taking.

With a grin like a kid on Christmas Zane quickly turned around and out of his room towards the living room.

And that’s how Zane found himself scrambling quietly as he could around the couches back in the living room for his vlogging camera. After a few more seconds of pulling up cushions and lifting up love seats, Zane found his camera sitting nice and pretty on the side table next to the mess he had just made. With an annoyed sigh Zane grabbed the camera and hit record as he rushed back into his room.

The guy hadn’t moved in the short minutes it Zane to return. If anything the dude had managed to actually fall back asleep.

With his camera pointed towards the intruder, and all the confidence that always washes over Zane when he was filming, Zane steps up to the edge of his bed.

“Hey,” Zane vlog giggles, “what are you doing in my bed dude?”

No response.

Feeling brave Zane reaches and pulls the pillow off of the dudes face.

“Cuh stop playing,” the stranger finally groans as he throws an arm across his eyes.

It was the first time Zane has heard the guy’s voice since this ordeal began. The stranger had a country twang in his speech. Mixed with the kind of smokers voice a hard working secretary from the 60s would have.

“Just answer my question, cuh,” Zane replied sarcastically, “Do you know where you are? Have you ever seen this place before?”

“You know my brother,” he mumbled as he moved his arm from over his face to reach for the blanket and return to his burrito form. Zane was confused now.

Did Todd have an estranged brother he never talked about? No, that didn’t make sense. Zane figured this dude meant fraternity brother. Maybe he was a bro who had too much to drink and was sent home early. He must’ve drunkingly came into the wrong house. After deducing all of this, Zane heard himself laugh out loud. This just got better and better.

“I don’t know your brother, I’ve never seen you in my life before. You’ve never seen me. Do you know where you’re at,” Zane questioned again, with unbridled amusement coating his words.

“You know my brother Tip,” he yelled in return from under the blanket.

“No I don’t,” Zane yelled back. “You’re in my bed dude how did you get here?”

“What the fuck are you talking about this is my room,” the man yelled once again. This time he came up half-way off the bed, and looked in Zane’s general direction, but not quote focusing on him.

“Plates are over there,” the bro said with finality like that answered everything and returned yet again to his nap.

“You’re gonna feel like such an ass when you see this online tomorrow,” Zane chuckled back to him.

“Look dude, you can crash here just not in my bed,” Zane said with resolve. Obviously this guy was too hammered to make it back home, and he didn’t want to put the kid in any danger. He just wanted his bed back.

“There’s plenty of couch space in the living room for you out there. Just not here in my bed,” Zane explained.

“I own this bed! You’re in my room dude,” the guy fired back as he rolled over and finally looked Zane in his eyes. As best he could. Zane could hear he was getting annoyed and a little angry.

“I pay taxes for this bed,” the man explained as he shut his eyes and looked up towards the ceiling.

Zane laughed as he turned the camera onto his face, “He thinks he pays taxes for this bed,” he whispered-squeaked towards the lens, rolling his eyes up into his head for added effect.

“Okay no, that’s enough,” Zane said as he turned the focus back on the bundle of drunk joy currently pouting in his bed. He reached his free hand over and grabbed ahold of the blanket. He swiftly and easily pulled the covers off as the guy groaned.

“Are you serious,” the dude roared.

“Yes I am. Come on let’s go,” he replied.

Zane heard the college kid finally rise from the bed with a huff as he turned and headed towards the door.

“Does any of this look familiar,” Zane questioned as they both shortly walked down the hallway. Zane flipped the rest of the lights on in the living room.

Although Zane’s newly adopted housemate didn’t miss a beat in replying, there was a knowing grin spreading across his face. The smile that managed to melt Zane’s anger was back in all its’ toothy glory. Zane caught the stranger realizing this was not his house on camera and laughed.

“I-uh, used to live here,” answered the guy as he took a look around the room and adjacent kitchen.

“Oh man this so weird…” he continued quieter. As the man took a minute to inspect his surroundings, Zane got his first good look at the guy.

First thing Zane saw was an insanely nice beard. The guy obviously took great pride in caring for it. It was manicured, without being overly perfect. It made him feel a bit insecure about his own patchy beard. Immediately after this though, Zane noticed the brother was just a bit shorter than he was. An observation that made Zane stand a little taller. He might’ve been able to take the stranger in a fight if it had come to that. The pride didn’t last long though as Zane’s gaze moved to the arms on the shorter man’s.

He was jacked. Swole. Had them gains.

Maybe that was overdoing it Zane thought, but the uninvited guest was solid and thick. Biceps were straining against the sleeves of a white and black polka-dotted button up the gentlemen had on. Zane saw cords of muscle flex and twist under the tan skin of the man’s forearm as he reached to wipe a hand over his hat. Moving further down and Zane also saw a set of stocky thighs stretching the black denim of a pair of skinny jeans. This same pair of thighs was hiding under what Zane saw was, a fat ass. Essentially, this dude was stacked. Zane finished his inspection just as the man was completing his spin around.

When he turned to face Zane, the kilowatt smile was gone. In its place were a pair of furrowed eyebrows, and two dark-brown round eyes shaded with tints of confusion and sadness. The man cleared his throat.

“I uh…don’t know what to do now.”

The admission was so honest and soft, Zane felt like he needed to shut off the camera and take the guy into a hug. He settled for silently promising to cut that part out of the video as he guided the guy towards a couch by the shoulder.

“No worries dude. Just crash here for tonight, it’s all good,” Zane said in what he hoped was a soothing voice.

“Aww man yeah, I’ll sleep in my bed tomorrow,” the man agreed as he slide onto the couch, and just like that any trace of a worry was wiped from his face. The quick change made Zane a little embarrassed at the tenderness he showed a few seconds before. Who was this guy Zane thought. Why did he wear his emotions so openly and easily? Was he only like this when drunk? Where were the dude’s friends? That last question sent a brief spike of anger into Zane’s chest.

He would never let Scott or Todd or Carly or Erin or any of his friends wander off alone if they were this gone. Shaking the concern away, Zane started to step towards his him.

“F-for sure alright man. Just make yourself comfortable. Goodnight,” Zane stuttered as he was getting his last few shots of the guy before heading back to his room to begin editing this vlog. It was still amazing footage and unbelievable content, but something was bothering him. Zane couldn’t quiet put a name on it. He didn’t think about it too much longer as he made it back into the room and sat down on his bed with laptop in hand. However, Zane did make it a point to leave his bedroom door open just a bit.

Some time later, just as he was settling into an editing groove, Zane realized he forgot something important. With his camera in hand, he raced out his room and into the living room.

Zane slowed as he came up to the couch. Soon he was in front of the man, hovering just over his head. Zane felt a ting of de ja vu as he moved to wake up the stranger for the second time tonight. Gently, Zane rocked the other man’s shoulder until his eyes slowly opened and the two locked eyes.

Being this close to the man had those tender feelings rushing back into Zane. He quickly looked for another spot on the man’s face to focus on.  Looking down to his Zane noticed something. He had freckles. Zane saw the little flecks of coca powder dotted the bridge of his nose. He also had a nose ring hooped into his left nostril. This guy just kept getting softer and softer Zane thought to himself. After enough time had passed, Zane moved his eyes back up. The man was still looking at him. Zane cleared his throat.

“Ma-my name’s Zane nice to meet you. What’s yours,” he asked weakly.

While he was editing Zane realized he never asked for the other man’s name. He also didn’t have a chance to introduce himself in the midst of everything happening. Maybe he could’ve waited until the morning, but Zane needed a name to put into the vlog’s outro. He also had a sinking feeling the man may not even be there the next morning. Why Zane cared at all about this he pushed aside as he waited for an answer.

To his credit, the man lying down did not acknowledge the awkward timing of this question. Instead, he quickly pushed himself off the couch and positioned himself directly in front of Zane. Just as quickly he hooked his fingers together so his arms formed a rigid line across his middle and stared Zane right in his eyes. Zane was surprised. However he recovered just as quickly and prepared for a show.

“My name is Heath Hussar. Pledge brother for Alpha Sigma Sigma, the greatest brotherhood to have ever been formed. I am but a speck in the grand scheme of this fraternity. Yet, I look to prove myself worthy of wearing the letters of this guild proudly upon my chest. It is nice to meet you too,” Heath finished, with a whisper of a smirk peaking through the other wise straight face.

Heath’s performance sounded exactly like the step shows Zane had seen in front of the Greek Row houses. Heath had punched each syllable with a rhythm that commanded respect, while displaying complete confidence. If it had not been for the break of character at the end, Zane would have felt totally intimidated. Okay maybe he still did if he was being honest, but there was also an attraction to the persona Heath had just shown bubbling underneath that. Putting that aside to deal with later, Zane reached his hand out.

“Thanks for the amazing video Heath Hussar,” Zane. Heath again looked a bit confused, but reached his own hand out too. They shook hands, the grasp lasting a bit longer than either person was willing to admit. Zane was the first to let go.

“Okay, well, I-I’ll let you get some rest Heath. Good night,” Zane said as he began to walk towards his room.

“Do you wanna get breakfast tomorrow,” Zane heard over his shoulder.

Zane turned around and saw Heath had already made himself comfortable. Lying on his back one hand under his head and that damn smile on his face again.

“What,” Zane answered. That was dumb he quickly thought. He had heard Heath loud and clear. It just took him off guard.

A crack in the confident, laid-back face showed a bit as Heath cleared his throat.

“Uh. Do you want to get breakfast tomorrow morning? I’ll pay. It’s the least I can do for you. After ya took care of my embarrassing ass,” Heath joked. With a laugh the confidence had returned to his face.

“Oh don’t even worry dude, tha-that’s what friends are for. They take care of each other,” Zane replied. It honestly wasn’t that big of a deal he thought to himself. He figured anyone else in his life would do the same thing. Realizing thought he had yet to give Heath an answer he quickly stumbled out a reply, “b-but yeah. Breakfast sounds good.”

In that moment after agreeing to the morning food appointment, Zane wished two things. The first, that Heath was better at not wearing his emotions on his face like map to his heart. Secondly, Zane he wished he wasn’t as perceptive as he was. But both of these truths remained a reality. Zane couldn’t help but watch as the biggest smile he’s seen on Heath yet slowly spread across his face.

“You’re fine with value menu biscuits yeah,” Heath jokingly asked as he settled in to finally get some rest.

“I think the fuck not. This bitch needs at least a combo,” fired back as he snapped and twirled towards his room. He did his best runway model walk all the way back to his bedroom. Just when Zane thought maybe that may have been too much, he heard Heath bust up with laughter.

“Goodnight then with yo bougie ass,” Heath called from the living. With a burst of laughter of his own, Zane called a good night back and shut the door.

A few hours later and Zane was finally uploading the vlog to his channel. While he was waiting he opened his phone to tweet a teaser.

“Got a crazy video going up now ft. a special guests none of you will guess. Hint: found them in my bed!” Zane finished and hit send.

Within seconds his notifications were blowing up. A few were cry typing him and Dom finally hooked up. Others were gagged, joking David was going to be mad Liza was in his bed. Zane laughed and favorited the more clever jokes.

Once the video finished and was uploaded, Zane quickly made his rounds on social media announcing the video was posted. After making his last post, and firing a quick text to the group chat that he had a friend over in the living room, Zane quickly locked his phone and settled in to get some much needed rest. He was pretty excited for breakfast tomorrow morning. He felt like a kid the night before a field trip. Eventually though, Zane did fall asleep to thoughts of wide smiles and nose freckles.

[professor-abeloved]

angsty asks for jake/mc in multiples of five?

thank you dear

using he/him pronouns again 

EDIT: my mc’s name is eli de loyola lmao

angsty relationship asks

5. how do they hide their pain when they’re upset? do they try to hide their pain?

pain, what pain? jake mckenzie doesn’t do pain. (he hides it behind quips and snarky replies, behind feigned indifference and a curled smirk)

anger is different of course. jake has no qualms in letting people know if he’s upset with something.

eli doesn’t hide it when he’s upset or in pain. eli’s transparency baffles jake sometimes, but endears eli to him all the same. maybe it even lets jake think that you don’t have to Conceal Not Feel all the time

10. if something already happened to tear them apart, what would make them come back together? is it even possible?

[spoilers] um, fuck i guess the whole “jake has a bounty on his head and is wanted by the authorities” thing could tear them apart? but i have a feeling that even if.. say jake has to stay away or if he does that “break his heart to save him” trope, eli would find a way back to him. no matter what.

15. who misses the other more, or really thinks about them more?

eli misses jake more (when he’s not around) while jake thinks of eli near constantly, even when they’re together (’cuz he’s already counting the moments where they’ll have to be apart christ this guy is painful for the soul)

20. do either of them have any vices?

um i feel like jake would fall into hedonism and alcoholism if Something Bad Happened Lmao

25. what’s the one deal breaker for either of them (lack of communication, fear of commitment, etc)?

jake can’t be with you if you don’t get his references. you gotta trust him to get with him, sunshine! trusting him and showing that you’re able to keep up with him is Key to winning his heart

eli is the same way, they’re two peas in a pod lmao. for some reason jake himself trusts eli with his life so you know they’re good in the hood

30. who’s the first to blame themselves?

if anything happens to eli, jake would never forgive himself.

35. do they have any regrets (regarding the other, or just in general)?

it’s canon that jake has many regrets regarding his life in the military :’(

eli regrets… letting his boyfriend walk out in broad daylight with a shirt tucked in like “jfc jake are you my boyfriend or my dad” “i mean you already call me daddy–”JACOB LUCAS MCKENZIE YOU SHUT THE F UP”

40. who sleeps on the couch hammock? can either of them sleep without the other?

in some alternate universe where everything works out and everyone is able to live calm domestic lives, eli and jake have a hammock instead of a couch. jake is usually the first one to storm out of the bedroom and sulk in the hammock… followed by eli whose code of honor doesn’t allow him to take the bed.

sometimes they end up shoving each other and shuffling around in the hammock into they either fall onto the floor or get entangled in it.. to which they eventually realize their ridiculousness and laugh and probably make out a little. or a lot.

45. who would be more likely to save who?

eli has a heroic streak so he’d immediately save anyone, regardless of who it is

but jake’s more experienced lmao. if it comes to eli, then jake would do anything to save him, a thousand times over and then some. 

50. if one of them were to come back after a long time, who would come to who? would it go well? would the other person take them back?

hmm i think jake would come back with a “miss me, boy scout?” and a smirk that slowly melts into a genuine smile. after staring at him for a long time, eli would gently touch his face to make sure jake was real… then eli would sucker-punch him in the face like “WHAT THE FUCK DUDE” before kissing him for real, because “what the fuck dude i missed you so damn much”