#Nuzi is having [REDACTED]

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Soooo a reply in the most recent Oil Is Thicker Than Blood release (by @dronebiscuitbat ) gave me an idea! And threw my impulse control out of my window!

BE WARNED: this contains a more than implied spicy Nuzi scene, which is canon in the universe of Oil Is Thicker Than Blood. I also tried my best to finish this so be also warned for potentially sucky writing lmao

Edit: I FOUND THE GUY THAT INSPIRED THIS SHIT IT'S @/makiyu23 THANK YOU DUDE THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN I WOULDN'T HAVE MADE THIS WITHOUT YOU

[EAVESDROPPING]

That red eyed freak... She's gonna pay.

Crawling in the vents. She always loved crawling around, whether it's the roof, the walls, or the ventilation systems, it always felt so good and satisfying.

This time didn't feel good the usual way now. It felt good like a revenge. Fitting.

While she's doing that, she found a few trinkets along the way! Neat! Things to look at instead of her glasses! She always disliked looking at her own glasses out of boredom, it brings memories she doesn't have consent for... Y'know what else she didn't consent to?

...

Let's not joke about that time, V...

...

Anyway! Back to searching through the vents! And sending those updates on the red thing stuff too!

"robo-god i fucking love crawling it's satisfying like-..." She stops for a moment... Then sighs... "Let's not ramble about these things alone V, you'll seem crazier than you already are..."

After long minutes of crawling around in the vents and sending updates on the search, she started to hear something...

Talking?

There's people talking...

There's people talking.

"Look, i'm just sayin', we can't have these Murder Drones in 'ere at all, ya know their body count? As someone who like- counts the deaths and missing drone cases, i say they're up to like- the THOUSANDS!"

"You know Khan's orders and announcement, they're living with us now, end of. We cannot keep having this conversation, Sean..."

"Susan please just- just understand what i'm trying to say here!"

"We can't keep up a relationship if all you're gonna ramble about is the Murder Drones wanting to make amends."

A Worker with an irish accent... Rambling to another, 50% masculine 50% feminine and 100% tired sounding, about the fact that she and N are living in the bunker with them and how he's against it. Of course. If she could drop down right then and there... She would. But she can't, she made a promise... Stupid promise but hey, she cares about that idiot.

...

Stupid feelings, stupid concept of caring, stupid core, now she feels all mushy and gross...

Ughh, get back to work you trauma bag!

Beep. Update sent. And as she crawls around the vents, a message for Lizzy. Heehee Lizzy she cute- SHUT UP BRAIN.

SD-V: yo liz i caught two people talking while i crawled in the vents, wanna hear?

A few seconds later...

Lizthequeen: OMG yes!!! drop the gossip gurl!!!

SD-V: so theres these two workers talkin shit about me and n for obvious reasons and apparantly these two workers are also a dumb lovey dovey couple

Lizthequeen: oh shiz you talking about sean and susan??? oh theyre having constant problems with their relationship i heard!!

SD-V: thats what im saying. theyre in constant problems with their relationship yeah

Lizthequeen: they are fr?? daaayyuummm gurl...... are they breaking up now???

V stopped to look back and crawl a little backwards to hear...

"... Susan- Susan please don't do this to me-"

"No no no no you know what? You know what? We're done here, all you ramble about is your racism, fuck you and fuck off"

"Susan please!"

Then a slam... Then a sigh...

"... WELL GOOD RIDDANCE I FUCKING GUESS!"

She began crawling forward again... God damn.

SD-V: yup

Lizthequeen: RN????? HOLY SHIT?????

SD-V: yup

Lizthequeen: they finally broke up........ thank you for sharing the info bestie i owe u so much

SD-V: yeah you owe me a good hanging out

What the FUCK. WHY DID YOU SEND THAT WHY DID YOU SAY THAT

V immediately stopped messaging in flustered frustration, yellow filling her visor and embarrassment filling her... Everything. Fuck's sake.

...

...

...

Lizthequeen: what do u mean by that ;3c

SD-V: nothing shut up buzz off im busy anyway BYE

Then to the right goes the program...

...

...

...

That was stupid.

...

...

Okay that's processed.

As she crawled by, she began to hear more chatter... Right, people exist.

"Guy imma need to talk to ya"

"Oh no. My name in b flat. I'm in trouble"

"More like i wanna discuss something with you regarding the whole Khan's daughter and N thing..."

"... Am i in trouble?"

"Stop saying you're in trouble, i just wanna talk"

PFFFFT

"“Stop saying you're in trouble” yeah shut up before you get in trouble hehehehehe-"

"What the HELL was that?!"

V squeaked in surprise, then yelled back, attempting to threaten the two into submission.

"YOU BETTER NOT TRY ME OR I WILL DROP DOWN AND RIP YOU TO SHREDS YOU TOASTERS!!"

...

...

"Okay, no need to yell lass, we would've listened anyway"

"Yeah what Han said"

V sighed in relief and kept crawling and sending updates. Situation avoided.

...

...

Crawling by crawling by, crawling by for the sake of your life~

This is getting really boring, i fucking hate this now i wanna go home~

She sang as she crawled in the vents, sending updates every few as she found new things and new gossip, making herself laugh a little as she crawled... She needed those laughs and those moments. She needed a break from the tension and the fear. The dread. That red eyed freak...

...

That red eyed freak.

...

"You want me to lead?" She heard, faintly, as she crawled about...

What in the god damn?? Uzi??

"Lay down then"

What????????

She crawled forward and stopped to hear the possible new gossip...

...

What the fuck are they doing down there.

"Relax, okay?"

"O-okay..."

Uzi?? N?? What are they...

...

Oh they can't be.

"I-i'm not t-that insteresting"

"You're gorgeous, actually"

"Shouldn't i be saying that to y-you?"

Nuh uh they're not i don't believe... N would be a bottom though.

A little more of hearing from inside the vents, it becomes clearer as every second passes. She can't move.

She jerks a leg forward, yet it's stiff. She can't move.

She tries the same with one arm, it's stiff too. She can't move.

She tries to at least launch herself forward, but her whole body is stiff. She can't move.

She sighs... I can't move... I can't stop hearing...

"Ngh... Uzi..."

JUST MOVE LET THEM BE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOV

She jerks an arm, trying to continue crawling.

Again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

FINALLY.

She manages to continue crawling by...

After ceaseless crawling, ending up finding nothing, and having heard quite the event... You think she'll have a word or two for them about it?

She's laid down across the ground, alone in her nest in the spire, seemingly dissociating after the events that transpired...

"Well... Damn." Her last words said in surprise.

...

...

...

...

...

We never got to go far in our relationship.

She swapped her hand up with the submachine gun and aimlessly let loose a barrage of bullets, drowning her thoughts in noise. Drowning her sorrows in noise.

Heavy breathing, panting.

...

"Let's not think of that, V..."

[em0puppy]

chat i swear to god once i get my drawing app unblocked you wont be saved from the angst. dove au coming to get you

it's so jover my husband is going to divorce me after this i know it

[withered--s0uls]

Technically DAS!Cyn gets adopted post canon by Nuzi too, alongside [REDACTED/SPOILER]. It would be funny af if I throw her in here too alongside my million Nuzi kids.

Considering I assume many kids probably have the Solver that poor girl would have a PTSD moment

But we really need to put all the Nuzi fankids in an arena and see who wins

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Buzi fic let's muthafuckin gooooooooooo

B belongs to @ilovejoll !

[REDACTED] belongs to me!

[GOOD TEAM]

Back to that fuckin' camp... Great.

It's dark, it's rank, it's got a rancid, sinister and genuinely discomforting and dark aura, it's the place where one of her traumatic moments have transpired.

Uzi killed and ate her classmates here.

All this for a sighting...

And yet the four walked, around and about, searching like born hunters...

...

That's funny.

Uzi, N, V, and B (don't say anything about the names), they all walked and searched every nook and cranny, whatever cabin they found it's searched, because of this one Solver drone a group encountered that was, and Uzi quotes during the walk to the camp, "abnormally friggin' tall and chuckled a lot"

One guy even reportedly went missing after this encounter.

This new threat must be destroyed, there shall not be a season 2 of this bullshit.

Thud.

"I don't think it's here, weirdo" B spoke. Weirdo. Fuck's sake.

"It's Uzi, strawberry, and i'm sure if we look harder we'll find it, we already got traces of the guy so they must be here!" Uzi was confident after said traces were found... And N didn't seem to know when to quit being optimistic and supportive of Uzi, seriously the moment they got together it's like the entire planet was doomed to deal with these two dorks!

One of those dorks is your brother. You care about him. Do it for him. B sighed at the thought.

"We'll go a little further, and if we find it we kill it and we all go home, but if we don't..." B sounded threatening there, especially getting closer and whispering the next words in her sound receptor.

"You're dead to me. Having wasted our time."

Hot. That's not me saying it, i only say her thoughts out loud

"We'll find the weird analog horror freak, babe! I hate it when she's right, believe me, but we did find traces of this weirdo being around and we still find more!" V popped up from outta nowhere the interrupt the moment of intimacy intense mutual hatred, and showed off a piece of paper in her hand "Like this note i caught in a cabin!"

V flipped the note around, showing off... Something???

Uzi and N felt shivers run down their spine as V showed off the note.

"Haha! That's not ominous at all nope!" N and Uzi said in unison, perfectly. They took note of this.

"Jinx!"

V gagged at the sight of the Nuzi duo chuckling and giggling like little kids. B just glared at Uzi like she was a bad influence...

If it's of any consolation, they bother me too

"You don't get to talk, little shit" V growled at Uzi's tail.

Suddenly they stumble upon a strange... Cave??? In the camp?? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the planet, localized entirely within this camp??

I had some fun while i could, it seems. Smiley face

"Shut" Uzi then squinted, as if it's going to make comprehending easier, and...

[PROCESSING WUTEVR THIS IS]

[◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️_______]

Yes it's a cave! A very ominous, red, fleshy cave that destroyed an entire cabin, turning it into a gruesome wooden outer layer for itself and thus taking it's place!

"aaAAHAHAHAa OKAY UZI UHHH... DO WE ENTER OR DO WE BURN IT ALL DOWN" N chuckled with lots of fear in his voice.

"If we burn the cave it's going to burn the entire forest too, and as much as i'd love that it's very important and i know there's others who love this forest as much as i hate it" Uzi sounds so smart when she explains things, it made N's core flutter... Aside from beating a little too fast at the sight of the cave and the general aura of the camp.

FIND ME

FIGHT ME

HOW WELL DO YOU FARE

Uzi turned around fast.

Oh i know this one!

She grimaced at this, hearing a robotic male voice coming from... Pretty much nowhere and at the same time as if it's behind her, and looked at everyone else to verify that she's not crazy.

N, V, and B all look just as unsettled. She's not crazy then.

"We're going home, gang, fuck this and fuck everyone" B began walking away while holding up two middle fingers.

Something was wrapped around their leg.

Catch

It's Uzi's fucking tail.

"We don't know what this is, it could be something worse than... It, and if that's the case, then we have to put a stop to it... As much as i hate this, it has to be done"

B hates when Uzi is right... They groaned "FINE let's get this over with" as they walked back to the area and swapped their hands with claws...

Let's go down in the belly of the beast...

Haha, Uzi scolded you

"She didn't scold me, freak" B growled at Uzi's tail. Y'know- the moment this thing began to speak, they knew it meant something terrible was coming. (Whether i mean they as in the group or B alone is up to you lmao)

Gross.

It's all wet, squishy, bloody flesh from top to bottom.

Massive, disgusting, grotesque.

This cave is nothing but blood and gore.

As the group walked, something began to pulsate from the ground Uzi walked on...

"GAH ROBO CHRIST!!" It blew up and blood landed on her face and clothes.

V could only giggle. Of course she'd giggle.

"Bite me, what if this happened to you!"

"I'd lick it off, period. Likely tastier than you~"

Uzi just. Glared and made a face that spelled out Why Are You Like This™

Gross, gross, gross, fucking gross.

Giggle

"Quiet you!" Uzi hissed at her own tail. You look crazy rn lol

Gurgling from further away..?

Uh oh spaghetti-os

"What the..??" B knew it meant something was wrong but they couldn't quite put a finger on it...

Until a spot in the ground began to pulsate, as if something was trying to get out and make itself known.

"Holy- V WATCH OUT!" B yelled as she tackled V out of the radius.

A tendril bursts from the ground, the spot that was pulsating before, and attempts to grab whatever was unfortunate enough to end up in it's clutches.

That being B.

"N GET OUTTA THERE!!" And Uzi, as she tackled the frozen in fear N out of it's reach.

B and Uzi are grabbed by tendrils, and right after dragged into the depths of the flesh cave, screaming.

"UZI!!!" N screams, fear in his voice and his heart beating at it's fastest, meanwhile V is quiet, in shock from what she just witnessed...

They've both lost people they care about...

"Ow... Robo god my head..." Uzi said under her breath, slowly getting up from a rough fall...

"Uzi..? Are you okay..?" She heard a familiar voice speak to her, a worried tone in their voice... B???

"No way you're telling me that, strawberry... Yeah i'm fine, i've been through much worse..." Uzi got up and dusted herself off.

B sighed "Let's get this over with before any of us die here, no bonding things, capiche?"

"Alright alright, no need to get pissy over caring about me~" she said smugly before–

"I care because N cares, if he didn't you'd be dead meat the moment we met. He's my brother and a fucking ray of sunshine, so you better behave."

Woah

"..." Uzi didn't know what to feel or think of this... It hit way too hard to really know what to feel... Maybe something like sadness? Something similar...

But she's not a feelings person, she's an edgy tough fighter that became GOD some time ago! She's not gonna let that persona fall apart now!

"Gee alright..." was all she could muster, seeing no other choice of words to respond... Whatever that was.

B swapped their left hand with a flashlight, looking for some sort of exit or way forward...

And a way forward there is. In the shape of a drone.

A freakishly tall drone with a blank, empty visor, also a tattered, dark blue robe and grey spiky hair. It's him.

A song began, somewhere. A very corrupted, broken song, making the sight of him standing all the more sinister.

Excited. Here we go~. Smiley face

You found me!

I'm so glad!

And now

He crouched, going from standing tall to crawling on all fours.

We get to play!

Yay!

Every spoken word, he moved like his body was made of a rubber hose, at times even twitching and shaking.

My name is Pen, and you are Serial Designation B and Uzi Doorman

How does he know all that?!

"Wha- wha- wh- what are you?!" Uzi stammered from the sheer terror, whipping out her railgun as B showed off their right hand, the huge steel claws, and the red nanite acid tail, preparing themself to strike the moment Pen made any move... And subconciously using the other hand to put it in front of Uzi, protecting her.

What am i? Ahhh... Good question there, miss Doorman!

I'm a host of the Absolute Solver, it seems...

His head twitched and shook for a short moment...

And i sense quite a lot of it, too, coming from

He crawled closer, his body clicking like clockwork, somehow not getting sliced and diced by B... Turns out, they're frozen in fear too, shaking.

You

Miss Doorman

His blank, empty, dark visor stared into Uzi's core...

But enough chit chat!

He quickly shifted and thrashed about back away from the two.

Let's get started with the games!

Let's have some fun!

Let's play together!

Just us three!

It's going to be so much fun!

As Pen lifted a hand...

"NO!"

SLASH...

Ah

My hand

B cut it off

Turns out, B did indeed swing forward and cut off one of Pen's hands.

That's something!

Why the fuck does he act like it's nothing

B lunged forward, and got smacked away by the remaining hand of Pen, and said hand is blasted into oblivion by Uzi's railgun. Well. More like whole arm.

"Shit i missed!" She hissed, as she did indeed miss! You missed! How could you miss, he was three feet in front of you!

Rude

Uzi is grabbed by the previously chopped off hand and thrown away from himself like a kid's toy, sending her railgun away from it's owner.

Where did that hand come from?? Can he regenerate?!

No matter, it's a fight he's looking for then it's a fight he'll get...

B and Uzi stand back up to have a go again and let out a war cry as they run straight towards Pen.

LET'S PLAY, FREAK

It's a battle against just another liar.

When Pen is engaged in combat, all he does is scramble, thrash about, climb and crawl around like a spider and lunge forward when they're both lined up, causing both B and Uzi to get tackled and taken down.

When he is down, suddenly the room goes dark and both B and Uzi are grabbed and thrown away like plushies. And yet they keep getting back up to try again.

He likes to fuck with his prey, it seems...

At least it means Pen can be defeated.

Uzi, having landed conviniently perfectly from a throw, aimed her railgun at Pen once more, this time for the core. Which was hard to do, as his entire body moved like he was one rubber hose, thrashing about wildly and bending and shifting and whipping.

"Fuck!" Uzi shouted, which caused Pen to hear her cuss and grab her from afar as he threw B away.

Language, miss Doorman

I don't appreciate that kind of tone

I think i should punish you for that

And i know just what to do

Uh oh spaghetti-os.

"DO NOT TOUCH HER!"

SLASH...

B flew into the scene and chopped off the arm Uzi was trapped in, and suddenly it felt like time slowed down.

Oh holy shit.

The sight of B, in the air having chopped off one of Pen's arms, the one that held Uzi in his grasp, their hair flying in the wind of the momentum. That long, silver, fluffy, absolutely gorgeous hair.

...

B looked at her, apparently taking advantage of time having slowed down, and smiled so sincerely..? Why???

"[I gotcha]" their screen displayed.

She nodded and smiled back, as she fell and landed on her feet, and raised her railgun once more.

"B! Restrain him for me!"

"Copy that." Woah they love dropping that deep voice card don't they.

B, SOME-FUCKING-HOW, swapped their right hand for the laser and cut Pen's limbs off with it in the air in a half-moon swipe, and soon after they manage to pin him to the wall with their tail to his head.

Oh

Well

We had a good run

Well played, duo

See you another day

Bt Ofm kpplfc pm bs sgf kjsskf ovqokf hjqk, bjnjmh gfq spz bs gjt dpqf, gf efks, epq pmdf jm gjt kjef, xgpkf.

Boom

"Thanks for saving my ass back there..."

"It's nothing... Really, it's nothing, it means nothing-"

"Oh my robo GOD B COULD YOU STOP WITH THE TSUNDERE SHIT" B got startled at the sudden yelling from Uzi. They feel scolded now.

"You saved me and i saved you, we saved each other, because we both care about N and apparently each other too- if it's of any consolation i didn't want this either but does it look like i have control over my feelings?! No! No i don't!"

B looked on as Uzi went on her crazy tangent about feelings and reppression and so on so forth, essentially scolding them, and at some point...

"Okay i get it, now quiet! Christ you can be so annoying sometimes..."

...

...

...

Sigh

"Thanks, i guess... We made a good team..."

...

Uzi could only smile at that. They're right, they do make a good team...

"Yeah..."

"UZI!!!!!!"

Here comes big brother

UH OH SPAGHETTI-OS.

One mighty tackle hug full of love from a worried and happy N took her down once and for all! The evil is defeated! (No it's not, i'm being goofy here lol)

And now it's B's turn in getting taken down, from the small yet strong and feisty V, running full speed at B to give a tackle hug too, causing them both to fall down. V then proceeded to kiss the everloving fUCK out of B because god damn she missed them.

"Woag............" Is all B could muster.

"Are you okay Zi?! Are you hurt?! Traumatized?! Did someone try to do bonding things with you that wasn't B?!"

"I'm okay N i'm fine, heheh-" Uzi chuckled and then fell into a giggle fit when N began nuzzling into her neck.

...

Uzi looked at B, who was smiling at her once more. Surprised, then another sincere smile too.

[You did great]

[So did u]

[Thanks]

[Same]