#no intuit I would not!

[thelaurenshippen]

I just think that if you pay a subscription for a service it should be illegal to then have pop-ups asking you to pay for more stuff. I want to kill intuit with hammers

[blueskittlesart]

i take it back this shit is easy

[treef-greef]

[windienine]

everyone has to be a little less mean to themselves about not reading enough books. letting go of reading as a pride thing is the first step to relearning how to actually enjoy reading for pleasure again. it's totally fine to start with a novella or with a comic or with a field guide or with literature meant for someone younger instead of being mad at yourself for not grokking ulysses in a week. just vary your diet and you'll be good.

i'm a literature scholar, i'm the one who has to be strict with myself about page counts and citations. you all? do what you want, just read and have fun.

[14dayswithyou]

Ren's favorite color is dark teal! My brain is so full with brainworms about this game. <3 I hope you have a wonderful day! I know you have answered this question for Violet and Ren already, but I would love to know what the rest of the cast would play (Race, Job) in FFXIV and what they would like to do the most there. 🙏 Thank you so much! <3

@waitlexist asked: Do you have any headcannons for Violet in MMOs? I ADORE MMOs(seriously, she’s a florist and a gamer? I want her so bad), and I’d love to hear a few headcannons about her! Also maybe some about Ren, Angel, and Violet all in a guild together? I like to imagine my Angel is as much of a gamer as me, and I can see Ren acting as an anon guildie to hangout with her. Although I’m not sure if he’d be a rouge-ish type class(or maybe Death Knight’s like in WoW), or a healer to keep Angel alive? I’m leaning toward the former, but I could also see the latter. Thank you, I’m sorry for the text wall KSKSJDJSJSBA ahem. Seriously, thank you for making this game. I dream of the day I can be in a poly relationship with Ren and Violet(v-type, if anyone knows what that means) ok I’ll stop yapping now! Thank you again, lol!

⌞♥⌝ Y'all will need to pay me $14,000 to shut up about FFXIV T_T In this essay, I will—

I like to imagine that Violet plays FFXIV every so often and somehow always has her jobs levelled up to the max. She plays as a Miqo'te who /gposes all the time in Il Mheg, and if she's not doing that, then she's hardcore raiding with some of her online friends.

I've mentioned this before, but Ren would be a Viera and play any support class like Scholar or Sage (because he thinks they look like cunty librarians /silly) — except he'll only heal Angel and refuse to buff/shield anyone else. If others notice this, he'll drop a single healing AoE in the most inconvenient place and leave them to fend for themselves.

[REDACTED] is a max-height Au Ra and claims that he exclusively plays as a Warrior because of the insane self-sustain — but it's actually because he forgets that there are other people in the party aside from Angel and refuses to be healed by anyone other than them. Always likes to Shirk Violet whenever there's a tankbuster <3 It drives her insane <3

My personal headcanon is that Violet was the one who got Jae into FFXIV (because they were classmates back in high school, and they both have a common interest in video games)!! He likes to collect all the minions and mounts, and often pretends to be new to the game to get free gil from veteran players. Jae also started out as a Miqo'te, but used his free fantasia to become a Hrothgar instead since he never seems to come across any.

Moth is an Elezen Dancer one-trick who always gives Angel the Dance Partner buff, no matter what job they're playing. It takes twenty minutes of Ren /playdead-ing in a corner and Violet explaining certain game mechanics for them to reconsider giving the buff to someone else. In turn, Moth always makes it a point to chew out Ren whenever he gives Angel the Kardia buff.

I also think it'd be funny if no one knows that Olivia plays FFXIV from time to time — and if she somehow ends up being the one who brings the gang together via an FC. Maybe someone she had a crush on in the past played the game, and wanting to impress them, she started playing the free trial. Now she's a level 100 Lalafell Pictomancer who always seems to fall for the hot characters AFK-ing in Limsa (a.k.a Violet lmaoooo).

If these guys were all in a Free Company (essentially a guild) together.... Hell on earth lmao T_T

There's always one person who keeps eating the food Moth uses as interior decor and it's tearing them apart. Violet now AFKs inside the FC house to find out who it is.

Olivia keeps inviting random people to the house and leaving them there without any explanation. There are literally four strangers also AFK-ing with Vi in the basement right now... Who are they... Why are they here...

As for Violet herself, she just wants to grow her plants outside in peace, but everyone keeps moving the furniture and blocking her path. Also... Whoever chose the housing exterior needs to have their subscription cancelled (it was Jae).

Ren keeps trying to convince Angel to share a room with him T_T And when he finally gets what he wants, it's at the cost of having Haurchefant's portrait stare down at him whenever he uses /doze next to them on the bed. He'll forever curse Violet for gifting that portrait to Angel.

Jae wants to build an entire submarine underneath the FC house for some reason????? He says it will help them make gil?????? And Violet is so on board???????? She's already a gilionare and a marketboard fiend??????

And if they were to all raid together... Hell everywhere djhsgsj ^^;

Violet got fed up with Ren's constant Shirking, so she picked up Dark Knight and frequently uses Living Dead to scare him.

Ren, in turn, started playing as a Sage and constantly Rescues her off of the map whenever she does this.

Jae likes the Viper job because he can make his glam pirate-themed, but he also enjoys Summoner because it comes with a Carbuncle he can pretend is Maple. Whenever Jae doesn't get healed, he'll summon Bahamut right on top of Ren to annoy him.

Since Moth has been banned from using Dance Partner on Angel, they've switched to Samurai and found that it's way more fun. They also really appreciated all the tips Violet gave them on how to play their job more efficiently.

Olivia gets mad every 5 seconds because nobody aside from Violet stands inside her Starry Muse AoE... and because Ren isn't giving her any attention shgjjsg ^^; She purposefully tries to out-damage Moth in hopes of getting his attention, but it never works.

I also have some more Violet & Ren FFXIV headcanons here!!

[not-equippedforthis]

i am aware this would most likely never ever happen but can you imagine spock giving kirk a back/neck rub - as he so clearly expects - and accidentally vulcan pinching him. slumps. ah. i did not intend to do that. bridge goes silent. cap's down. someone douse him with water or something

[serpentface]

What are the three different afterlives, on the moons?

The afterlife consists of three lunar lands, conceptualized as being literally on the moons (which are correctly understood to be spherical bodies in a rounded orbit). The world is, in the common imagination, effectively a floating island and seabed in the middle of a vast cosmic sea. The seabed eventually drops off somewhere far into the open sea, and the cosmic sea in its totality is beyond and beneath this and and goes on infinitely (though if creation stories are taken literally, it can't actually be infinite considering that God is cited as dredging up muck from the bottom. This is a philosophical problem for the literalist minority and no one else). The moons, sun, and stars travel through the cosmic sky and sea in their daily cycles, in an orbit around the earth. 

The lunar lands are usually dark (they only experience full light in times when the moons can be seen in daytime hours), but they are much closer to the stars, so they never experience the same darkness as night on earth. In some branches of folk thought, the light of the moons comes from the torches and fires lit by the dead. The moons are protected from the extremes of cosmic sea and sky that they orbit through by the continuous presence of God’s soul (at the most dead-literal, this is conceptualized like a spherical bubble that surrounds the land/earth with the moons orbiting on its plane, but is mostly understood in a more spiritual, less logistical capacity) and do not experience the terrible heat and cold of each primordial extreme. 

---

The blue moon (second largest in the sky, has a very slight bluish tinge) is the best of three afterlives and the place for the most honored dead. This place is limited to people who performed great deeds in life, and very few people ever go here.

The only completely predictable way to get here is to be the dry season human sacrifice (which also makes you a saint), or being the Odomache. It takes great deeds to be declared a saint, so all canonized saints have gone here, as have most legendary heroes. There’s some doctrinal division over whether royalty goes here automatically or they too require the actual accomplishment of great deeds. Public opinion and general consensus veers, quite heavily, towards the latter. It’s resulted in a tendency for kings to perform lavish public works and building projects and instigate expansionist campaigns to better their chances.

The blue moon is a lush garden with palaces and homes built with lapis lazuli. A mythical blue lotus grows here that is said to grant everlasting life (*until the end of the world. there is no true immortality). Some mythical heroes (and characters in animal folktales) have been said to reach the lunar lands while still alive in pursuit of the lotus, but it has remained entirely elusive for the average joe. These lands are comfortably warm year-round, the rains are gentle, all plants grow in abundance and are always in fruit. It is thought that the souls of great sacrificial animals (those offered up in public rites, limited to animals that are specifically sacred) go here as well. The dead do not have to labor and all their needs are met with ease. It is a place of great serenity, rest, and happiness.

This afterlife is, notably, where the first men are enthroned (And Also Their Wives Are There). The eldest brother of this set is considered the most important saint (he is the one who actually performed the sacrifice of God), and all are effectively semi-divine (though not venerated), being the direct offspring of God via Its insemination of the cosmic sea. These first men are credited with actually shaping the world as it is today via the division of God’s body, and they now rule over the afterlife.

This is the best of all afterlives, but comes with profound responsibilities. The souls of the dead here are bound to survive the end of the world and will someday will be the ones to sacrifice the bodily reborn God, shape the next world, and become the progenitors and guides for the next people. All other souls in all other afterlives will not survive the end of the world in their present state, rather they will be returned to God and await reincarnation into a new human body after creation.

---

The white moon (visibly largest in the sky) is where people who died honorable deaths and/or have spirits weighted as pure go. The easiest guarantee of getting here is to die in battle, or in childbirth (which is fortunate given the high rate of pregnancy-related mortalities). People who live honorable and virtuous lives, maintain spiritual cleanliness to the best of their ability, and follow right practice are otherwise the main demographic. This is the best afterlife the average everyday person can hope to end up in.

It is vast grassland eternally in flower, with ten rivers running through it. The sacred (and actually real) orange lotus grows here in abundance. Homes are built of moonstone, gardens of crops run between them and the maize can be harvested year-round and provides eternal and easy sustenance for the dead. Most time is spent at rest and leisure.

It’s thought the souls of ‘petty sacrifice’ animals go here (those offered for individual benefit, rather than in public rites for the good of the people/world itself). Animals considered to Have Value without necessarily being sacred are appropriate for these petty sacrifices (horses and fowl are very common) so there’s plenty of livestock here for milk, wool, and eggs.

---

The egg moon (named for its slightly ovular shape to the naked eye) is the lesser afterlife, where people whose spirits are weighted unclean and/or did not die honorable deaths end up if they succeed in their death-journeys. Most people go here. This is not a Bad afterlife, just the Mid option of three pretty good ones.

It’s described as a vast grassland with five rivers running through it. It is very much like the world of the living, with normal seasonal change and cycles of plant growth. The dead have to labor here as they do in the world of the living, but without the risk of starvation or need to fight for resources. The land is fertile, the rains come and go as needed, the harvests are always good and the livestock are always well fed. All in all, it's far easier and more peaceful than life on earth.

It is thought that the souls of most sacred animals that did not die in sacrifice go here (so the majority of the world’s cattle, aurochs, khait, lions, cobras, hespaean, reed ducks, skimmer gulls, and albatrosses). The cattle and khait tend to be the center of focus, and there isn’t really a set concept of what the carnivores are eating, or whether the lions and venomous snakes pose any danger to the people there (there IS at least loosely a notion that the dead can die a second time and will be sent back to the cosmic sea to await reincarnation, though this mostly plays into eschatological beliefs and not into concerns of 'what if I get to the lunar lands and am immediately mauled to death: 2 by a lion').

This one HEAVILY overlaps conceptually with the Celestial Fields, with these aspects likely being influenced by a history of cultural exchange between proto-Finnic and proto-Wardi groups. In some folk traditions this syncretism is even more obvious via inclusion of Mak-Urudain guard dog figures (most Ephenni folk-traditions say that funerary guide dogs stay there to protect the cattle and khait from the lions, Ephenni Riverlanders straight up have a Mak-Urudain figure present as the First Ever guide dog who now protects the cattle all by himself, Erub provincial folk traditions state the dog constellation guards the cattle in all afterlives, etc), though this has no presence whatsoever in official doctrine. (On the reverse side, the heavenly cattle that the agricultural goddess Od brought to the Fields (to ensure ancestors can never starve if their shitty descendants neglect them) is probably at least Partly Wardi influenced).

---

SOME NOTES:

-This religion technically views reincarnation as the ultimate fate of the dead, but considers this to only occur after the end of the current world. Eschatological beliefs are not even remotely central to this belief system (it's not a concern of the average practitioner like, at all, though raises to greater prominence during lasting droughts), but it’s assumed that the earth itself must eventually die and be reborn like all other created things. It was born from water and so will end in drought, then fire. All life and all souls but those of the most exalted on the blue moon will perish again and be returned to God.

God will be bodily reborn, and begin the process of self-sacrifice and creation over again. The survivors from the blue moon will become the first people, will sacrifice God, and build the next world from Its body. God will again inseminate the cosmic sea before Its death (releasing human/sophont souls to await rebirth), and will spill Its blood on the earth (releasing animal souls to await rebirth), and the world as we know it will begin again (but perhaps better, with the guidance of leaders from the previous world).

-most animals do not go to the lunar lands. All animals are regarded as having souls, but non-sophont animals were born from the earth (fertilized by God's blood) and are more intimately tied to it. The standard view is that most animals immediately return to the earth to be reincarnated upon death, though some can persist in the form of ghosts (not regarded as torturous for them like it is for humans, they're meant to be tied to the earth). Animals that make the journey to the lunar lands do so ultimately as assistants to humans (in the form of funerary guide dogs) or due to their sacredness (which also is functionally a form of assistance to humans).

-The afterlife status of any dog killed to be a funerary guide for the deceased is somewhat ambiguous. Funerary guide dogs are thought to at least Get To the lunar lands, but there's no consensus opinion on whether they can Stay There (unlike funerary khait and lions, guaranteed a spot due to sacred status). Most interpretations see the dogs returning to the earth (often to continue serving as funerary guides), but some death-journey stories describe the noblest and most loyal of dogs gaining entry along with their masters.

-All sophonts Recognized as sophonts (via the capacity for forms of intelligent speech obvious to humans) are understood to have been created the same way as humans and have the same type of soul, and to theoretically have access the lunar lands if they follow the same methods.

-The majority of people in this world, obviously, do not practice Imperial Wardi standard funerals, and are therefore regarded as Probably Fucked. It's accepted that any form of cremation is sufficient to at least send the dead on their way, but the dead who don't get the full Materially Correct Wardi Funeral Treatment will surely have a MUCH harder time completing their journeys (THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE MOONS LOL!!!!!).

-The dead require substantial help from the living in terms of actually getting to the lunar lands (proper funerals, grave goods and animal guides to assist their journey, etc), but are considered fully provided for once they get there in the doctrinal Faith and most of its folk variants. Maintaining and visiting family tombs (holding cremains and grave goods) is usually regarded as being a matter of familial piety and honorable behavior (and also just being like, a way to grieve), rather than something that directly benefits the dead in any capacity.

Ancestor-worship practices requiring the dead to be continually provided for were Possibly first brought to the region by Proto-Finnic migrants (though it's not beyond question that some groups with longer histories here had similar practices) and have had impacts outside of this immediate sphere. The biggest and most obvious is a 'feast of the dead' holiday being nearly ubiquitous across the cultural spheres of almost All groups here. Among most of the Hill Tribes and some of the North Wardi, this is specifically a holiday where all ancestors return to the earth and are provided food, gifts, and warm clothing (it occurs on the winter solstice). Most in the Imperial Wardi sphere do not have 'the dead are capable of coming back down to earth and also need continual support in general' as a part of their religious worldview, but variants of this holiday have been so widely adopted that it's celebrated anyway. The most ancestor-worship free version frames it more as a celebration of life and a time to remember the dead, and doesn't involve the feast being left untouched until morning so that spirits of the dead can eat its essence before the living get to it.

-In all three afterlives, the dead are perpetually in the presence of the Soul of God (the body is the earth, and the Faces are Its living spirit, god fucking damn it I made a trinity,). This cleanses them to become spiritually pure beings (a state impossible to be in and only possible to Approach while alive), any sufferings of disease or curses they experienced in life are removed. This is regarded as a very peaceful and restful state of being.

-There’s no discrete Bad Place afterlife, but there's still religious avenues to regulate behavior via threats of a Bad Afterlife with the notion of being trapped as an earthbound ghost. Per doctrine, it's possible to have one's connection to God severed (usually via extreme spiritual pollution, which just so happens to mostly come from behavior considered morally unfavorable) which can result in the soul being unable to complete their journey and being trapped as a ghost. A dead body being allowed to rot or be eaten will result in this automatically, whether by neglect or 'incorrect' funerary practices (cremation is the only funeral method considered safe). Very widespread folk belief additionally holds that people who die from drowning or non-ritual suicide are also trapped.

Burial of the dead and sky burials are regarded as horrific barbarism, damning the dead to suffering throughout the afterlife. Cannibalism/consumption of the dead in any form is regarded as almost unspeakably evil. Mummification is Okay as a temporary solution if cremation is impossible, but not as a permanent one (it's not as strongly condemned since the dead can stay with their intact, un-rotten and un-eaten body and in theory eventually be saved, but it's on thin fucking ice).

An earthbound ghost is stuck in the location of their death, deprived of rest and feeling their body rot around them, and usually becomes dangerous to the living. It is believed that some earthbound ghosts can be saved, but this requires extensive intervention and is not considered to work every time. Many evil spirits started out as earthbound ghosts, and at this point are warped beyond any possible human intervention. Doctrinal end-times consensus holds that all earthbound ghosts will Eventually be delivered from their nightmare at the death of the world when their soul is returned to God for rebirth, but the average person is not all that concerned with the end times and being a ghost is probable millennia of suffering either way. The average person is very, VERY strongly motivated to avoid this fate.

[sea-changed]

A nominally useful but mostly just-for-fun little project, using wool from the Shetland Islands kindly brought back for me by a family friend this summer. The pattern is Beeswax Mitts by Amy van de Laar on Ravelry.

[sunderwight]

Thinking about the weird camaraderie that exists between demons but not angels in GO.

Have we ever seen two angels who are actually friends? Or even friendly to one another? We have met angels with a capacity to be friendly in general, but I think the closest we've come to two angels actually getting along would be Gabriel making a point to laugh at Sandalphon's terrible "can't have a war without War" line in S1.

Most scenes between the angels actually seem to have an undercurrent of absolute hostility. Teeth-clenched teamwork. No wonder it took them so long to notice that Aziraphale wasn't on the same page as the rest of them! The rest of them are barely on the same page as one another, either! When Gabriel goes against the majority vote, no one bats an eye at demoting him and wiping his memory. Michael and Uriel immediately begin vying for his job. The only times we've seen angels team up is when they're working together to bully someone else, like when they're trying to intimidate Aziraphale in S1 or going to the aftermath of the bookshop raid in S2.

Saraqael's overall neutrality towards Muriel is the closest we get to two angels in Heaven getting along, and it's more a lack of hostility than any kind of friendliness. At least until Gabriel loses his memories and Muriel shows up to spy on Aziraphale, and Aziraphale decides to be kind to both of them.

Demons, on the other hand, actually seem to form alliances and even friendships among one another. Hastur and Ligur are awful, but Hastur seems genuinely distraught over Ligur's death, not just fearful of suffering the same fate. Shax and Furfur conspire together and even though the 1940's investigation into Crowley's fraternizing doesn't work out for Furfur, it's not due to any double-crossing on Shax's part. Unlike the angels, who stick almost exclusively to making threats until the Metatron decides to try dangling a carrot at the end of the season, demons actually offer rewards to other demons when trying to work together. Beelzebub offers Crowley a promotion if he can bring them Gabriel, Furfur offers to back Shax up politically if she goes for the Duke position opening, and Crowley successfully stalls Hastur in S1 by pretending everything was a test and he's going to be put in charge of a legion as a reward for passing. They're still not great at socializing, but they're significantly ahead of the angels.

Of course, it's a fact that demons are awful to one another (Eric's treatment is really bad, they throw that random demon into holy water just to test it, "it'd be a funny world if demons went around trusting one another", etc) but they still seem more capable of forming friendships than the angels do.

I think that's because Hell cramps and crowds everyone together to try and increase their suffering and hostility, whereas Heaven isolates angels to decrease the odds of questioning or rebellion. Hell's methods are unpleasant, but it still ends up putting demons together, and some of those demons inevitably forge alliances and make friendships. Because as Crowley and Beelzebub demonstrate, demons are still social creatures with the capacity for love and affection, even if it's strongly discouraged and buried under nine million layers of trauma and a cultural mandate against kindness.

Angels are the same, but isolation makes is harder to form connections than overcrowding. Muriel and Jimbriel are both so eager to make friends, but Muriel's spent the past millennia shut in an empty office, and Gabriel has been distanced from his peers both through his position and also through Heaven's culture of fear and surveillance. He only breaks away from it when he finds something that's stronger than "choosing sides" (stronger than the fear of being rejected by Heaven and Falling, in fact strong enough that Falling seems worth it if he gets to be with someone he loves). Both Muriel and Gabriel are only able to start forming connections when they're away from Heaven.

I just think it's interesting that demons, despite being supposedly devoid of love, have an advantage in forming relationships compared to angels. Angels are supposed to love, but have far fewer opportunities to actually do so. Demons aren't supposed to love, but they make connections anyway.

[driftingballoons]

Despite losing their memories, I always imagined Hero had some instinctual feelings regarding the world. Namely, that somehow something simple like a sunrise was a rare treasure that they never got to experience before

[huesofvioletandpurple]

my not-so serious theory on what's up with Whit is that he's not the traitor, nor the mastermind, nor is he timelooping, but he just does not have the same amnesia as everyone else. however at this point it's too late to bring this up without it seeming Extremely suspicious because no one else seems to share his same predicament. so he just keeps it to himself until he finds a good way to share it. bearer of the curse and all that. this explains exactly three things and nothing else

[shima-draws]

Reading a fic where child Luffy gets kidnapped by Doflamingo and he refers to Cora as "pretty Mingo" I'm MFASMKDALKS

[kohakhearts]

forget about fatal flaws or mental illness or whatever. how does your blorbo feel about math

[fategoflatass]

He's never beating the masochist allegations.

[sysig]

Growing closer than expected (Patreon)

[corseque]

Today, when I was putting a quilt on a quilting frame, my mind wandered to Dragon Age and I couldn't stop thinking about this question because I couldn't answer it, even after like 15 minutes of hard thought. So I turn to you guys.

Why do you think Solas likes Mythal?