#neglect symptoms

[furiousgoldfish]

abused kids getting positive attention for the first time:

Don't know what's happening right now. Complete confusion.

if I ignore this for long enough it will go away

I will not fall for this

I don't know with what intention this is being done but I don't trust it and I will defy it

aggression and hostility

it's too late for this I needed attention years ago, take it back where it came from

attention I've heard of this. never seen it in person

what the hell do I do. how do I react. What is EXPECTED OF ME

someone is interested in giving attention to me? what does this mean?

I'm going to take this in and then I need to forget it ever happened because this is the only time I will get attention ever. I need to remember how this feels for forever.

This is probably a mistake, and this person is just doing this by accident. I just need to wait until they figure out I'm not worthy any of their attention.

I need to take this attention. I can't have it stop. I will do anything to keep this going. Please don't get bored of me. I will change anything to not be boring.

My entire life is now focusing on this moment right here and how do I have more of it.

What if it's my fault when this person stops liking me? What if I say the wrong thing and they hate me? What do I do to not chase this away?

I will go out of my way to do things that will ensure I get more attention. No matter what it is.

I can't go back to my old life, being neglected and ignored and feeling like I don't exist. I now know how attention feels, I can't lose this.

If I lose this attention I will go absolutely rabid.

I felt like a person today. I wonder if I'll ever feel this again.

This person who gave me attention must be special, nobody else has ever seen anything good in me. I'm going to latch onto them like I've never latched to anything ever before.

Is it possible I could be special to this person? That I'm not all bad? That I could be good as long as I keep doing whatever got me here?

I don't think I can repay this attention. I don't know how to make it up. It meant the world to me. I want to do anything to make it worth it.

I'm scared if I keep getting this attention I will bond to this person, and then they'll be able to do anything to me. I'm scared I'll become attached and then they'll get sick of me and abandon me. I don't feel safe receiving more because it puts me in a dangerous position. I should end this but I can't.

[spaceacerat]

I see you disabled people who don't know your family medical history because your family members couldn't/wouldn't/weren't allowed to go to the doctor and never got diagnosed, or don't know your family.

I see you disabled people who didn't know you were disabled growing up, physically or mentally, maybe because your parents didn't have insurance and couldn't afford it/wouldn't take you seriously/didn't think it was a problem because they had it/doctors couldn't figure it out.

I see you disabled people who have bouts of an issue that you grew up with, that are/were infrequent enough that you never really thought about it and dealt with it on your own, and when you have one in front of people who weren't medically neglected, you wonder why they look so horrified as you describe it.

I see you disabled people who didn't/haven't had any amount of care or accommodation for their disability since it started, because you couldn't get diagnosed.

I see you disabled people who grew up thinking everyone had the same problem as you and that it was normal and so you accepted it, because you didn't understand how the human body worked and had no real frame of reference nor the language to ask for help, or the people around you saw it and just ignored it.

I see you disabled people only now understanding that what you experience is abnormal, and that there are things that can be done to help it, make it easier, or at least help you understand yourself better.

I see you disabled people that will never be able to get diagnosed or get the help you need, whether from being poor, lacking insurance, or any number of reasons.

This shit is hard, and there are people who will never quite understand your struggles. It doesn't seem to get talked about as much, but I wish it was. Please know I love you, and you aren't alone.

[princehendir]

Anyways I'm going to be honest I'm always going to have some sympathy for when people knee jerk "well not all homeschooling is bad" because like, to be fair, a lot of people base their anti-homeschooling position not on anything real (like the rampant abuse & neglect it can facilitate) but on the fact that they think that having any life experience that isn't 100% Normal will make you a freak forever and they hate interacting with freaks.

[tls12lessthan3]

oh han sooyoung was neglected as a child and she has a oral fixation and shes sullen and pessimistic and sarcastic huh. oh she has symbolism ridden dreams huh. oh she has a power based on a splitting of conciousnesses huh. singshong i see the freudian influence ive read the theory you cannot hide from me.

[pluralhottakes]

Its entirely okay to be happy with being a system and we will never understand why that's so controversial

Why would we hate eachother when we know each of us is the reason we're still alive? We saved eachother! Ofcourse we're going to be pretty proud of that!

.

[the-herdier]

Hmm...

Artemy or Clara accusing a very tired, very overwhelmed, and possibly sick Daniil of having no compassion and receiving the outburst of their lives :).

[come1nalone]

[izzyspussy]

we went over the 14yr long torture session in my last therapy visit actually, and i told her that toward the end i was fantasizing about and then actively considering walking into traffic because if i got catastrophically injured then they would have to treat my pain. and she told me that's not an uncommon thing for people to do. that she has heard that many times before.

like think about that. we are so moralistic about drug use and have politicized a particular type of medicine so much, and doctors are so uncompassionate toward and even suspicious of patients who are in pain because of it, that it's NOT UNCOMMON for people who are otherwise not suicidal to start completely genuinely longing to get hit by a fucking car just for the chance to be oh so graciously provided the absolute bare fucking minimum of care.

think about how many different things have pain as a symptom. how many things have pain as the only symptom the patient is aware of. how many of them are life or death crises. heart attacks. blood clots. strokes. bleeding ulcers. those are just what i can think of off the top of my fucking head, AND I'M NOT A FUCKING DOCTOR.

what i had, for example, feels exactly like appendicitis. and they left it for fourteen years because my only symptom was excruciating pain and i didn't fit their stupid little (completely unsupported by evidence, btw) diagnostic mnemonic. if it had been appendicitis, or anything else as immediately deadly that "just" hurts, i would have fucking died the same night i got sent home from the emergency room with "medical" "advice" to take some tylenol and rest - for the first time, that is. out of dozens. how many people do die that way?

because addicts are Bad. and because doctors are too arrogant and biased to practice medicine on the basis of evidence and informed consent when the profit model and conservative propaganda make it soooo easy to stay in the good old days of paternalism instead.

[tru-daddy]

not a big fan of diagnosing fictional characters but albert wesker is a walking cluster b diagnosis. send post.

[furiousgoldfish]

I know scientifically, and reasonably, that isolation is a form of torture, but it's so hard to conceptualize it when it's so familiar and I've reached for it over and over again as a form of relief from the torture. Why am I longing for what others consider intolerable.

[desolatehands]

Hi! I hate to have to make a post like this, but I am in some need of assistance. I'm a disabled individual living on VERY limited income and most of my income has been going towards moving expenses as I am leaving this current housing situation in two months. I have already spent most of my paycheck on mailing off valuables to my next location. The next step is to get my furbaby the things he needs to travel comfortably with me.

The goal is to have him with me in the cabin to help not only him, but myself too with my anxiety. It's difficult traveling alone as an autistic individual, so my cat is my best bet in keeping cool without turning to opiates as a one day prescription.

Here is the amazon list, if anyone feels like helping.

And here are a couple photos of Steven hard as a rock Stone. He's a very sweet and loving cat. But, I am in a very poor state financially.

My roommate is not the best and has 'forgotten' about the cash I have given her to purchase specific things for the cats in the house. Instead using that money to buy cigarettes.

While I don't feel comfortable talking about too many details, I can comfortably say I live with a hoarder, that I am blamed for things out of my control ( like the bills she should be paying w my rent ), so on and so forth.

I'm incredibly sorry to ask for this help, but my hands are kind of tied. It's been insanely difficult to get out of an abusive situation while being disabled.

[astramachina]

every time markiplier talks about his creative process I feel a sense of deep-rooted relief alongside a dose of debilitating grief because yeah. YEAH. that's exactly how it is for me. Sure I'm 10+ years late and my brain struggles to work on the things that consume my soul to the point where I cannot afford to rely on a single project to keep me psychologically afloat, but every lesson learned is a lesson I want to carry over onto my next, bigger project and the cycle continues on and on bcs it feels like I must outdo myself every time or else I'll stagnate and I enjoy that. I hate it, but I fucking love it.

Is it awful for my health? Hell yeah it is. But fuck it. We're doing it anyway. outta my way I gotta severely overshoot my skill set and force myself to learn by doing.

[iero]

Today was supposed to be my first day back to work from the LOA I ended up taking for my mental health, but I woke up and had a panic attack just thinking about going to work and I haven’t showered since Friday (sorry, gross), so am I really mentally ready to go back?

[envolvenuances]

and my mother gets angry I don't rely on her today now that she suddenly wans to help. but like I cannot trust this is sincere and something I can count on while she still not capable of being honest with me. tired of being told I am unreasonable and crazy not asking for help on the house that beat the shit out of me for catching dengue fever and always attached human value and independence to how much money you were putting at the table

[jules-van-hering]

partner has told me today that I'd make a good autist :D it's funny to me bc I think so too. and turns out more than one of my close high school friends are definitely on the spectrum and I never picked up on my partner's tism as nothing seemed out of the ordinary to me. thats just how people are, right? I had just lived with an undiagnosed potential autist for 4 years, so everything fine and dandy to me, all normal levels of weirdness plus some adhd and trauma sprinkled in there. that explained the rest to me. but now that he got his diagnosis and knows more about it all it is becoming so much clearer :D

[caffeinatedopossum]

I'm starting to feel like bpd is actually just what happens when there's an overlap between adhd, ptsd, and depression- which I think is much more common than physciatrists think

I have a lot of theories but also like I need to do way more research on this before assuming things because I know this is already a greatly stigmatized disorder and I don't want to erase anyone's experiences or make it worse.