#and this outburst is how he learns about it and only because the stress of it causes Daniil to show symptoms

[saintzweig]

art donaldson x mean girl!gf hcs :3

୨ৎ personality for the character (reader) is based off jade west from victorious!

୨ৎ if there were three things people remembered you by, it would be your rbf, your brutal (sometimes unnecessary) honesty and your boyfriend who is your complete opposite, art donaldson.

୨ৎ you and art dating came as a surprise to everyone, he was an angel while you were... you've had your moments.

୨ৎ they all came to accept it sooner or later, seeing as how the two of you balanced each other out. with art around, the chances of your outbursts were lower and with you around, art learned how to stop being such a pushover.

୨ৎ art loved your transparency and honesty, the way he doesn't have to walk on eggshells around you or decipher whatever is going on in your brain because you express so clearly the emotions you feel.

୨ৎ other people may have their thoughts on you, gossip about who you are and all that but he knows that they're all surface level, he knows you better than anyone so he knows it comes from a good place.

୨ৎ you're overprotective of him and your close friends, you don't like it when other people cross boundaries and make you (and him) uncomfortable.

୨ৎ he's pretty much the only person who's well equipped to deal with your moods, knowing when to pull you away when things become too much and you're starting to get irritable from overstimulation. he knows how to calm you down, help you ground yourself.

୨ৎ on the rare occasions you blow up on him, he tries not to take it to the heart. he knows it's more the situation than him, you were blowing up at him and not about. but it still doesn't change the fact that it hurt, so he goes quiet and leaves you alone.

୨ৎ you tell him to fuck off and he will, but just in the other room. he knows you'll come around soon enough and make up, so he doesn't approach you unless you make the first move.

୨ৎ usually you find him wrapped up on the couch, with a tray of meal on the coffee table waiting for you. even when you were so unfair to him, he still wants to take care of you.

୨ৎ "it's alright, darling. you were just stressed, i know you didn't mean it"

୨ৎ aside from that, he finds it hot when you're mean to other people. especially when you're jealous :3 which is often, considering art is pretty famous on campus.

୨ৎ this man would stand behind you while you go off on a girl that tried to kiss him, giggling and blushing while holding your hand.

୨ৎ he also likes it when you end up using your mean-ness for good lol, someone's yelling at the pregnant cashier lady at the grocery? you're giving them the same energy. a professor is trying to humiliate someone in front of the entire class? they can kiss their job goodbye.

୨ৎ you and art balance each other so well, when he's too shy or too much of a pushover to disagree with whatever, you push him to do it anyways and remind him to prioritize himself. when he's doubtful of himself especially in his tennis career, you tell him that a man with his talents is allowed to be a little arrogant.

୨ৎ he's so malewife energy and he's well aware of that, i swear his type in women are assertive and feisty ones.

[the-herdier]

Hmm...

Artemy or Clara accusing a very tired, very overwhelmed, and possibly sick Daniil of having no compassion and receiving the outburst of their lives :).

[sematarygirls]

🍼 ⊹ᡣ𐭩₊⋆ ─── rafe thinks academic!reader wants a baby

   Rafe was absolutely certain that you were trying to subtly hint at wanting to have a baby with him. At the first comment, he assumed you were ovulating because you always did get a little bit of baby fever when you were, but then, you just kept showering him with random facts about the development of infants and toddlers to the point that he started to believe you were dropping hints.

Rafe wasn't someone who liked to play games. He preferred to be told things straight up, no beating around the bush, but being with you, he'd noticed that you had a habit of trying to subtly slide what you wanted into conversation, so you didn't have to directly ask. Almost like you were trying to make him think it was his idea, not yours—apparently, those psychology classes were really paying off.

It had gotten to the point where he had confided in Topper and Kelce, asking them if that's how it sounded to them—bad idea, Topper and Kelce are the last people to go to for relationship advice—to which they both agreed that it definitely sounded as though you were trying to suggest Rafe should get you pregnant.

The idea was completely out of the blue. You both were still so young, and you were still in school trying to get your degree in psychology. You two had only been dating for a couple of months and had never discussed marriage or engagement because it all felt so new to both of you. After all, Rafe was still reforming from his playboy ways and party lifestyle, and you hadn't been in many relationships prior to being with him.

He had originally decided to try his best to ignore your little comments, hoping you would eventually drop the subject altogether. Rafe had never really thought about kids, and he definitely didn't think he was dad material, his fear of turning out like his own father overshadowing the desire deep down to have a child—one he often pushed aside and tried to ignore.

But, you hadn't given up. If anything, it seemed like your mentions of children became more and more frequent—whether that was true or he just believed it was because he was hard-core stressing about it remained unclear. Eventually, Rafe decided he had to address it and make sure you knew that he wasn't planning on having kids with you antime soon, even if it seemed a little harsh to say considering how enthusiastic you seemed.

"Did you know after about a year, the pace at which children learn words accelerates rapidly, and by eighteen months, the average child is learning a new word every day?" You tore your gaze away from your phone screen to look over at him, a bright, proud smile on your face. You were sat in the passenger seat of his truck after he picked you up from your classes, intending to bring you back to Tannyhill, so you two could hang out.

"Okay, you've really gotta cut that shit out," Rafe said, a lot harsher than he intended to. He had already had a bad day, and he just wanted to relax with his girlfriend, not try to decode you and your baby talk. He was tired of dancing around the issue, and his stress only brought that out, making him snap at you.

Your brows furrowed, smile faltering at his words. He had never spoken to you like that before, and you couldn't for the life of you figure out why a little fact of all things had elicited such a reaction. He usually loved hearing all about your little facts, constantly telling you how sexy your intellect was to him. "What?" You simply asked, too hurt and confused to vocalize why his outburst seemed so completely out of the blue.

"Listen I," he took a deep breath, his grip on the steering wheel tightening for a moment before he relaxed again. "I don't want to have a baby with you," he said bluntly. Noticing how cruel that may have sounded, he decided to add an: "Atleast... not right now, alright?"

Your face was a mask of pure confusion. You weren't so much hurt anymore as utterly lost. Where did the topic of you two having children come from? "Rafe, what are you talking about?" You asked, not understanding where he could have possibly got the idea that you wanted to have a baby with him.

He glanced over at you, his own features morphing into an expression that mirrored yours. "All the baby facts and shit. I thought," he paused, wondering if he had read the situation all wrong, but that didn't make sense. It had been pretty fucking apparent to him, Topper, and Kelce that you were dropping baby hints. "I thought you were... yknow trying to tell me something."

You processed the new information for a moment before bursting into laughter to which Rafe glanced rapidly between you and the road, his brows only furrowing farther as he watched you laugh as if he'd said the most hilarious thing conceivable. "Oh, baby," you said softly, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder when your fit of hysterics finally died down. "No, I definitely was not hinting at anything. I am so swamped with school and work that I barely have time for you, let alone a child."

"What?" Rafe asked, relief flooding through him at your confirmation that you weren't trying to subconsciously trick him into wanting a baby with you through your little psychology tricks. Simultaneously, he felt extremely dumbfounded as to your motivations. "Then why have you been talking about kids so much recently?" He quirked an eyebrow, pulling into the driveway of his family's estate.

"Because we're covering the development and learning unit in my psych course, which obviously focuses a lot on the earlier stages of life aka infancy and childhood," you explained, watching realization dawn on him like a light bulb turning on in a dark, empty room. "I didn't think I had to spell that out for you since i'm always hitting you with random facts from class."

Rafe parked the car and unbuckled his seatbelt so he could turn to face you. "Okay, so just to be crystal clear, you weren't trying to use fuckin'...i dont know- subliminal messaging and weird psychobabble voodoo to like, make me want to get you pregnant?"

You laughed, unbuckling your own seatbelt, so you could face him too. "No, you idiot. You're so ridiculous," you grinned, leaning over to give him a peck on the lips. "I promise you I don't want children right now, and if that ever changes, I will talk to you about it and not use subliminal messaging or weird psychobabble voodo."

"Okay, good," he nodded, opening his car door. "Topper and Kelce swore that you were trying to play some kind of mind game."

"Why would you listen to Topper and Kelce of all people?" You asked, following suit in getting out of the car, your brows furrowing as he mentioned the two people who have yet to hold a stable, healthy relationship for any period of time. "They're the world's biggest idiots."

"Yeah, you're right," he grinned, walking over to you and slinging his arm around your shoulder as you two walked to the front door. "I'm sorry for snapping at you," he murmured. pressing a kiss to your temple.

"It's okay," you reassured him, sliding your hand onto his back and rubbing soft, soothing circles. "Just promise you'll talk to me next time instead of letting it build up and fester until you get to the point where you feel like snapping."

"I promise," he vowed, ushering you into the house. "Now let me show you—my beautiful, intelligent, and amazing girlfriend—how sorry I really am," he gave your ass a little tap, making his intentions clear as he steered you toward the staircase, your giggles echoing through the empty house.

tags .ᐟ   @starkeysprincess / @cometmultiverse / @iheartjjmaybnk / @all4l0vee / @kissesfrmriri / @xoxohoneymoongirl / @bradshawed / @fallbhind

[pomefioredove]

hiya :D i hope you're well rested, well fed, and hydrated today (and if not this is your reminder!!)

may i please have a sugar cookie, #18, with whipped cream and chocolate chips? thank you <3

ANOTHER BANGER COMBO. lilia fans here's your dinner

order #18, sugar with whipped cream and chocolate chips

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ bored senseless

tropes: fake dating and royalty AU characters: lilia additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not yuu, fae!reader, takes place during Malleus' childhood word count: 900

It was only supposed to be for one ball.

When the General of the Right, the Dragon's Hand, the keeper of the Prince himself sends for your word, you answer. When he invites you to attend the centurial ball with him, you say yes. When he whispers in your ear as you ascend the castle steps, his hand tight around your arm, you listen.

And if he tells you that he's been formally courting you for the past century, you nod your head and let him hold the door for you like a true suitor would.

There was, of course, a thousand and more questions to be had, but not there, not when you were already inside the castle's stone ballroom, arm-in-arm with Lilia.

You really just wished he would've disclosed this pertinent piece of information before the ball.

The questions you had, you now had to answer for others.

"How did you catch the crimson eye of the General himself?"

"Especially as a fae of such low nobility?"

"Especially when he's had no interest in courting for the past several hundred years?"

You were able to keep up with the ruse, but it wasn't easy nor fun, especially since Lilia seemed to prefer letting you do all the talking.

When it was over, he handed you a small box of silver and went off alone, without a word, leaving you at the gates of the castle.

How strange, you had thought, but in your years in the court of Briar Valley, you'd learned not to question strange things.

Besides, it was only one evening.

...Well, that's how it started, anyway.

The next invite was to a gala hosted by a Count the following year. Then there was one a few months after that, another after that, and, slowly, your name became known throughout the country, and always spoken right next to General Lilia's.

On a cold night, a dinner hosted by a member of the Senate, one you would have never even dreamed of being invited to if it were not for your suitor, something stranger happens.

"Another one," you sigh, leaning against the stone of the terrace you and Lilia had snuck off to. The night was chilly but clear, every star visible in the sky.

Lilia sits on the railing beside you. "Don't look so glum. I'm sure these events are just a fad. You know how the nobles like their trends,"

"They're just very long,"

"And very boring, I know," he sighs, rubbing his face. "And I hate to be away from the Prince, but times have changed. I can't just win a battle to stay in the Senate's good graces. I have to be..."

He gestures vaguely. "...Noble,"

You look up at him as he sits cross-legged on the stone railing. "Is that why we're..."

You can't say "lying about being engaged to the entire country", but you want to. He knows that.

"What? ...Oh, no," he says, waving you off as if you had said something silly and childish.

"I just didn't want to come to these things alone. I'd be bored senseless."

Your eyes widen with something like wrath.

"..."

He's looking at the party ahead, picking his nose. It takes him a moment to sense your glare.

"...What?"

"Are you unwell?" you suddenly snap. "For years we have been "engaged" in front of the people and the nobility and you say it's because you were bored? Do you know how many lies I've given? To my own family! And the stress of coming up with such nonsense on the spot, to people who could have me banished from court, or worse..."

Lilia stares back, wide-eyed at your sudden outburst. Then, he smiles.

"...How long have you been hiding that sharp tongue, hm?"

"That's all you have to say?"

"Goodness, no," he says, hopping down from the railing to stand in front of you, his hands folded behind his back.

He leans forward, invading your personal space, which he is ever so fond of doing. "Do you know why I chose you, out of everyone in the court?"

What kind of a question is that? You scoff.

"...No,"

Lilia smiles, and he takes a step closer. "Well, you're not as uptight as the rest of them, for one. Your family has always been a little... untraditional, we'll say. But it was also because of this,"

He flicks your forehead, almost playfully, and you blink.

"My face?"

He chuckles. "No, no, though that's certainly a bonus. I meant... before the lies and the sneaking about, the one thing I could remember about you from court, for as quiet and meek as you can be, was your imagination. You always have the most outlandish ideas, the most improbable thoughts. And yet, you speak them with such passion, when you're permitted..."

He pauses to smile.

"...Well, I knew you could come up with some lie about us, and it would be rather entertaining."

You stare back. Lilia has always had a way of surprising people, but this is...

He smirks at the look of shock on your face, taking a moment to not-so-subtly check you out, for lack of a better term, and he takes your hand in his.

Then, he says the magic words, the ones you'd been dying to hear for every event since you started this whole ruse.

"Shall we get out of here?"

[plusvanity]

What’s your take on Pelle wanting a romantic relationship irl? Do you think it’s something he would’ve wanted? Or was he afraid that he was too odd for someone to accept him? (I don’t know if that sounds harsh). Since you think that he was sensitive.

Btw I love your analysis girl 🫶

I'm not so sure about relationships, but I firmly believe that he wanted to connect to someone, somehow.

In terms of friendships, I think Øystein was the closest friend he had (at least during his time in Norway), but even so, Pelle didn't open up much for various reasons that include the environment in which he was at that time and most probably trust issues. Talking at some point with Old Mayhem, she described an 'invisible wall' between Pelle and his friends/ the world and I couldn't agree more. It feels like Pelle would've wanted this meaningful connection with someone, anyone, but unfortunately, he didn't manage to form it. I genuinely think this had a massive contribution to why he took his own life.

I don't know if he would've wanted a relationship because a relationship comes with a lot of stress and pressure for being in a commitment, attending someone else's needs, etc, but he definitely felt alone and forgotten in this world. After all, he wrote in his last lyrics 'No one will ever miss you'. He longed to be seen, to be given attention and importance. There are a lot of signs of emotional neglect in how he developed, but I will try to keep it short. I consider him as being in the autism spectrum and a relationship would most likely feel overwhelming, especially since he would lack experience, confidence, etc. But if I have to imagine him in a relationship, I can only imagine him being with someone patient and calm.

People with strong trauma responses, PTSD and those who suffer from personality disorders need a partner who is a bit more mentally equipped to manage stressful situations than your average Joe. To see improvement in Pelle's mental health, he would need a very patient and mature partner.

Love can heal a broken heart. I am one of those people who believe that no matter how broken you are, if you find someone to love you for who you are, someone who is willing to accept you with all of your inner demons, with the the good and the ugly, you can start to heal. Currently, I'm following this process myself. The human brain can be programmed and re-programmed. We are very adaptable to our environments and if we make our senses realize we're not in danger anymore, we can finally allow ourselves inner peace. This is why I believe that Pelle could've been saved.

Hypothetically speaking, Pelle would have a hard time adjusting to a relationship. He was quite rigid, stubborn and unwilling to change for others. To make a relationship work, you need to make some compromises. Another aspect that I want to point out is that Pelle had outbursts or 'episodes' of impulsive behavior when he was living. That would be a serious problem. Øystein (and Metalion, if I remember correctly) had to literally hold Pelle down when he suddenly wanted to 'go to Transylvania'. The question is: Would someone be able (and willing) to deal with this again and again? He would definitely need psychiatric treatment, but would he accept that? There are so many factors that would make dating Pelle a real challenge. I also believe that he was suffering some sort of perceptual delusion. I won't call it Cotard's syndrome since it is not recognized in the DSM and since we have very little information about it, but my honest opinion is that he might have had something more that just depression and I'm kind of pointing towards Major Depression with Psychotic Features. If you believe something else, that's fine. Everyone does their own research and reaches their own conclusions.

I do think he was sensitive and there would've been room in him to grow positive feelings towards someone, to form a meaningful connection and learn to trust again. In the end, it doesn't matter if he would've had a romantic partner or a best friend, he would've liked to form a bond with another soul, someone who understands him, respects him and is there to stay.

I imagine him as being very honest, capable of showing tenderness, being mindful, quiet, contemplative and trustworthy in a meaningful relationship.

Sorry for my late response, I had an awful weekend.

[welovewarcraft]

when i die

fandom(s): homicipher

pairing(s): mr. crawling/reader (mc)

summary: What a blissful love life he enjoys. Alas, all good things must come to an end.

The fresh air was very nice to feel; it was very different from the metallic odor that constantly lingered in his old world. You told him about the sky and how beautiful it could be when it was blue. When the rain clouds cleared and he saw the sun's rays poke through the clouds from the confines of your apartment, he was giggling and happy. He had no eyes, but due to his supernatural qualities, he could still see.

Mr. Crawling liked many other things about your world in comparison to his. The buildings and their interiors were much like the ones he was familiar with, except they were cleaner and not tinged with dirt, rust, and blood. There were no ghosts with dubious intentions that could pop out at any moment. Though paranormal activity still existed in this world, as long as the both of you stayed away from prominent areas and activities, you two were fine. 

This world was so much safer and nicer.

With you, Mr. Crawling was almost ecstatic every day. He had his first shower, his first set of clothes that weren’t his usual robe (you thought he looked rather cute in a hoodie and pair of sweatpants of the same color, but in the end, Mr. Crawling preferred his old clothes, so you got multiple kimonos for him), and his first real meal that wasn’t flesh (you’re a great cook!). He also learned about your language, your interests, and much more (once, you joked about turning him into a man of culture, but Mr. Crawling didn’t understand at the time). 

About a year had passed since he started living with you. Mr. Crawling was content with the better and safer lifestyle, and he was able to speak your language at a basic level. One day, as Mr. Crawling was watching a documentary, he noticed you weren’t beside him. When he looked over, he noticed you staring out the window, lost in thought.

“(Name)?” He asked, the name rolling off his tongue naturally.

You looked at him in response.

“Yes, Mr. Crawling?”

“What are you thinking about?” His words still sounded a bit stiff. Your name was the only word that came naturally to him; once he got it right, he was ecstatic and didn’t stop saying it for a long while, enough to practice pronouncing it perfectly.

“Nothing, dear,” you replied.

Mr. Crawling blushed at the endearing nickname, but he still felt a bit unsure. Despite that, he turned his attention back to the documentary, enjoying the visuals on-screen and trying his best to pick up new words.

Mr. Crawling was very glad that he got to go to the human world with you.

A few days later, Mr. Crawling got worried. You seemed increasingly stressed, and he wanted to relieve you of it. This time, he was really poking at you, to the point of being annoying. He hadn’t acted this worrisome in a long time since accompanying you in the other world. When you finally were pushed past a tipping point by his badgering, you snapped and said that you attracted the wrong kind of attention and that if you weren’t careful, you would end up dead. 

Mr. Crawling cried at your outburst. He could not produce tears, but the feeling was there all the same. You felt really bad, and patted his head and back to soothe him. Once he calmed down, he wanted to know everything. You refused to tell him much. A bit toward the end of your conversation, you said some words to him that made him shudder.

“When I die,” you began, “I would like to feed you my flesh so that you won’t be hungry for some time. I want to do one more good thing, even after I die.”

At this, Mr. Crawling had burst into tears again (to remind, metaphorically). He wanted to perish the thought, but you already planted the seed in his head, and he couldn’t seem to uproot it now. He could never eat you! You are his joy, the light of his life! He would rather go back to the otherworld or die than do such a thing.

He must have been really out of it because you dropped the subject instantly.

After that, Mr. Crawling became very clingy. He didn’t want you to leave your apartment at all. He succeeded at first, but after a few days, you managed to get away to go to work. You had to promise him extra cuddles and kisses after you came home every day (even on the weekends). He never wanted to leave your side, even when you had to take a shower (and thus, that’s how he got his first bath with you. It was greatly comforting, even if it was just temporary). You even got him a phone so you could send messages about what you were doing.

Fortunately, a few months later, the fear seemed to disappear almost entirely. You had managed to convince him that you fixed whatever situation you were in and that he didn’t have to eat your flesh. He was overjoyed. Everything was back to normal and perfect again.

Until one day, you didn’t come home. Mr. Crawling wasn’t too worried at first but when it was about eleven o’clock at night, he couldn’t take it anymore. He unlocked the apartment door while he was on his knees and exited the apartment. He tried his best to lock the door from the outside despite not having much experience with them; he knew you would be upset if you came home to an unlocked door and him not being there at the same time, but he was just so worried for your safety, that he eventually stopped trying and just left.

He wandered the city, making sure to stay away from other people and stick to the shadows. As he traversed, he picked up a strong metallic scent. He hadn’t smelled blood this strong since his residence in the other world (you would cut your hand on the kitchen knife sometimes). Afraid, he cautiously followed the scent.

He crawled and crawled until he reached an empty park. He made it to some trees when he saw you. You were still recognizable, but your body was mangled on the ground.

He crawled hurriedly over to your corpse and cried.

If only you just… didn’t go to work. 

He sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. His human was dead. Who would do this to you? 

As he drowned in his sorrow, he suddenly remembered your words.

When I die, I would like to feed you my flesh, so that you won’t be hungry for some time. I want to do one more good thing, even after I die.

He made a louder whimpering noise. He wanted to preserve your corpse, like how he watched in those videos about funerals. He didn’t want to eat you! He was torn between doing what you wanted and doing what he wanted.

After he was able to calm down a bit, he looked at your corpse for a little while.

Unsure, he slowly reached with his claws out.

+++

AO3

[rottenpumpkin13]

Hello! How do you think the Firsts’s childhoods affected them?

Angeal growing up poor

• So many things that people would think are mundane are luxuries to him, like having seconds at dinner, buying brand new clothes, or owning more than one pair of shoes. Even something as simple as leaving food on his plate is unthinkable to him. He finishes every last bite because wasting anything feels wrong.

• Shopping gives him anxiety. He still keeps a strict budget when shopping, calculating down to the last gil. If something goes over what he planned to spend, even if he has more than enough money to afford it, it stresses him out immensely.

• Angeal uses things far past the point they're supposed to be used. He'll use his toothbrushes until they hurt his gums. He drinks out of cups that are cracked. His boots are polished and mended until they're more patches than leather. He'd rather stitch than replace because replacing = money that he forgets he has now.

• He's been trained to live with the bare minimum, which means that even when he has everything he needs, he unconsciously neglects himself. Example: he'll not buy a new blanket but instead layer up and pretend the cold doesn't bother him at night.

Sephiroth being raised by Hojo

• He struggles with comfort and relaxation, having a hard time figuring out what's comfortable for him because his nervous system is completely mangled after years of being raised in high-stress environments. He never experienced comfort as a child, so he sees it as unnecessary, often neglecting his own needs. This can look like sleeping at his desk instead of a bed or skipping meals, unable to distinguish between what he needs and what he simply wants.

• He was taught to suppress his emotions more than anything, but when they finally surface, it's explosive. He'll go from calm and composed to sudden, overwhelming rage, depression, or emotional breakdowns without warning. When this happens, he isolates himself for hours or even days at a time, struggling to let Genesis or Angeal in to help him.

• Hojo drilled into him that failure equals weakness, and now Sephiroth is a perfectionist who doesn't see failure as an option. Everything he does must be executed perfectly, without hesitation. He's incredibly hard on himself, pushing his body and mind to the absolute extreme. Even when things are out of his control, he spirals into intense self-criticism and takes on blame that isn't his.

Genesis being neglected by his parents (hc)

• His parents weren't overtly cruel, but their disinterest was cruel to him. They were never present, both physically and mentally, and it left him feeling like an afterthought. Because of this he develops into a hyper-independent adult. Some call it being 'selfish', he calls it placing himself first. Some call it 'arrogance', he calls it knowing his worth because his parents never did.

• He's very talkative, loves conversations of any and all kind. His parents would often chastise him when he tried to talk about things he was passionate about, so now he has a deep fear that he's bothering people.

• That neglect shaped everything he became. He developed a flair for the dramatic and outbursts that draw attention to him because it was the only way to be seen. His parents were blind to his personality and detested his idiosyncrasies , so he learned to make himself impossible to ignore.

[the20thangel]

The Dragon and The Raven Chapter 14: Warging Lessons.

Chapter Summary: Benjoct begins his warg lesson, growing frustrated at the slow process when his dragon princess decides to provide stress relief services. A certain person from the past comes to visit in dreams.

Tags: Smut, 18+ NSFW, angstishFluff

Taglist: @poppyflower-22 @alastorhazbin @callsignwidow @whimsicalmystic02 @mercedesdecorazon @rhaenyrathecruelwithteats @ithilwen-blackwood

word count: 2.7K

Masterlist

Ben stared at his aunt and the lord of Winterfell before laughing, his cackles frightening the whole group. The only person who seemed not bothered by the young lord’s outburst was Jaesys, who, in turn, began cooing, looking at his father. Alysanne would have swooned at the scene if she weren’t so worried about her nephew’s reaction to their plan. The Blackwood lady turned to Princess Aemma, who was staring at her husband with slight worry but was trying to hide it. 

After a minute, Benjicot finally calmed down. 

“I’m sorry, but it seems so far-fetched; you want me to try something I have only read in books. We don’t know if I even have enough blood from the First Men…” 

Aemma squeezed his hand, making him pause and face her. 

“It wouldn’t hurt to try, right? Look at my family; we asked Dragonseeds to come and try to claim dragons to support us in the war… If my family can have magic to bond our dragons, why can’t yours have a different magic to warg into animals.” explained Aemma to her husband while caressing his cheek. 

Benjicot smiled, leaning into his wife’s touch. She had a point; he just didn’t want to get his hopes up in trying something that could potentially amount to nothing, but again, just like the Dragon seeds, the outcome would never be certain unless he tried. Nodding, he turned to Cregan, letting him know that he was willing to try to learn how to warg. 

Cregan beamed, “Great! Using a raven or crow from Blackwood Lands would work best because they will sense a familiarity with you.” 

Aemma grew excited as she answered for Ben, “You can use my raven, Ben, the one you gave me when we started courting.” 

Benjicot smiled at her, placing a chaste kiss on her cheek as he stood with Cregan. Both lads eagerly wanted to start the process, Leaving Aly with the princess and little heir. 

After allowing a small moment of solitude to pass, Aly moved to sit next to the princess. As she finally allowed Jaesys to return to his mother’s arms, she asked how the princess was doing. 

Aemma nuzzled her baby, smiling as he cooed. She turned to answer Aly,  “Okay, there are days when I just want to wallow in my grief, but thankfully, Ben and Jaesys are always there to bring me out. Ben has also been amazing in being so hands-on with our son��truthfully it surprised me. As far as I knew, lords tend not to be so hands-on, but then again, many people also expected me just to hand my baby to a nursemaid.” 

She knew the greens were surely like that; she saw how out of touch Alicent was with her children.  Her mother rightfully criticized the green queen for that. 

Aly smiled as she replied, “Ben was always excited to have children; he would always take time to play with the children of the village and our younger cousins; he had more patience than Davos.” 

Bringing up Davos opened a wound in Aly; it had not even been a full year since her brother's and eldest nephew’s death. She knew Davos would have made an amazing uncle, adoring Jaesys with so much attention and gifts. He also would have enjoyed teasing his shy younger twin endlessly for wooing a Targaryen princess, but alas, fate was cruel in the form of Brakens. 

Aemma smiled, knowing the ghosts of their loved ones were close; grabbing her hand, the princess and lady leaned on each other, quietly reminiscing about their families. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the days passed, Benjicot spent many grueling hours reading and practicing the process of warging, but so far, nothing seemed to make process. It was frustrating for him; he wanted to support Aemma but felt like he was failing so far. He was also growing upset, having to place most of his lordly duties on Aly and Aemma while he trained with Cregan. Both women didn’t seem to complain, but Benjicot knew that putting all the engagements to them was unfair, especially since Aemma herself was taking her lessons from her father, preparing for the announcement from the Queen proclaiming Aemma as the new official heir to the Iron Throne. 

Rushing into his tent after another day of failure, he grabbed his cloak and threw it to the ground in frustration. Sighing from mental exhaustion, he sat tiredly on the bed, rubbing his hand up and down his face and trying to cool off. The rustling of the tent’s entrance made him look slightly up as he and his princess walked in wearing mostly red today. Warmth spread in Benji’s stomach; he always felt like this whenever Aemma decided to wear red instead of fully black. She looked gorgeous, and he was greatly considering asking a seamstress to make a dress for the princess that would have ravens and dragons embroidered just like their son. 

As the princess walked in, she noted her husband's mood, quietly sitting beside him and taking his hand into her own. After a moment of the two sitting in quiet peace, Ben raised their intertwined hands and kissed Aemma’s hand. Smiling, Aemma turned to her love, raising her other hand to move some of his hair from his forehead. 

“How was your day today?” asked the dragon princess, frowning slightly as Ben huffed quietly. 

“Frustrating… I just can’t seem to grasp how to warg… all I seem to be doing is growing headaches,” explained Benjicot as he felt his frustration coming back. 

Aemma moved closer to him, knowing he was placing so much pressure on himself. 

“It will come; just don’t push yourself too much. I don’t want this process to hurt you; skin changing can become dangerous.” pleaded Aemma. 

Ben shook his head, “I want to support you, be your eyes in the air; I want to prove to you and everyone how much I can bring into our marriage…” 

Aemma kissed him before she replied, “Yes, but what good will come if my husband ends up injuring himself because he constantly pushed himself beyond his limits? Warging is a skill; you have magic in your blood, as I do, but the magic needs to be trained, just like how I built my dragon riding skills. I was born with the magic to bond with dragons and ride them, but I did not magically wake up with a strong bond between Sliverwing and me. I worked hard for years with her to build our bond; there were days I was too frustrated, but my father and mother both made me realize that forcing skills to appear quickly was not the route to go; it would have only hindered my bond and caused serious repercussions. So be patient, my love; your hard work will come to fruition.” 

Benjicot sighed, knowing his dragon princess’s words to be true. He kissed her back briefly before separating himself from her and asking for Jaesys. 

“Daemon has him, says that the Blackwoods have been hogging him for too long, and the boy also needed to know his Targaryen roots. His words, not mine,” replied Aemma as she stood from the bed, walking behind Benjicot and placing her hands on his shoulder. 

Mischievous, the princess smirked, pressing her body to her husband. She began messaging his tense shoulders, causing the raven-haired lord to groan. Leaning to his ear, Aemma whispered. 

“Besides, I felt you were going to be tense, so I decided to use this free time to release you from any tension.” 

Benjicot blushed slightly at his wife’s words. Determined not to falter, he decided to play on. “Oh, and what plans do you have, wife? Will you serve me on your knees and-” 

Ben sharply inhaled, seeing Aemma knee before him, and spreading his legs open. Aemma placed her hands on each thigh, squeezing them a little, making sure to keep eye contact as she replied. 

“What a wonderful idea, husband. Let me serve you tonight.” 

With that, she reached forward and grabbed Ben’s clothed cock messaging it and squeezing it for a moment before she freed it from his clothed restraints. She stared at it as it slowly started to harden and rise. Spitting in her hand, she grabbed his rod again, moving her hands in a circular motion and up and down. 

Ben groaned, spreading his legs farther, allowing Aemma to come closer to him as she spat on him, squeezing his cock before continuing with her motion. Once she knew he was fully erect, she leaned her mouth to him, placing a kiss at the tip before dragging her tongue slowly down to his base and enjoying his loud groan from his mouth. 

Benjicot felt like he was in paradise with an angel. As he placed his hand on Aemma’s head, he entangled his fingers in her sliver waves, tugging a bit, which prompted the princess to lick upwards before taking him into her mouth. 

“Fuck Aemma!” exclaimed Ben as he felt her warm mouth around him. 

Aemma smiled. Hearing her name coming out of his mouth in a pleasurable tone, she continued her attention to him, moving her head up and down and swirling her tongue around him like he was a sweet candy. She moaned, feeling his hands grip her hair harder, pushing himself deeper into her mouth. She begins feeling wetness pool under her. 

At hearing her moan, Ben began panting, feeling his release coming fast like a train; as he tried to pull her off, it only caused her to suck harder, which pushed him to the edge. Letting a loud grunt, he released himself in her mouth. Opening his eyes, he moaned loudly, seeing how his beautiful wife swallowed every single drop. She looked so angelic, her purple eyes slightly hooded, staring at him. With a smile, Aemma released him with a loud pop, kissing the tip again before she moved up and sat on his lap. 

“How was that for you, my love.” She whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Ben chuckled as he, too, wrapped his arms around her waist, dragging her body closer to him, causing her to grind on him. Both lord and princess quietly moan at the sensation. 

“Wonderful, you are a divine, sweet girl; now let me return the favor.” He stated as he kissed her hungrily. 

Aemma moaned again, allowing her raven lord to push his tongue into her mouth and explore the inside of her mouth. Still feeling mischievous, she lightly sucked on his tongue, which prompted him to growl in pleasure as he retreated slightly. Before she could tease him, she squealed when she felt him bite her neck. Her squeal quickly turned into moans again at feeling him attack her neck with love bites. 

Gasping, Aemma began to grind herself on him, feeling her husband’s cock awaken again. She moaned, feeling him against her. As much as she wanted him inside of her, she remembered the caution from the midwives: she shouldn’t lay with her husband until 3 moons after giving birth. Jaesys was barely turning two moons. 

“Ben, we can’t; the midwives warned against laying with you until Jaesys is 3 moons,” she whispered, although she didn’t want to stop. 

Ben kissed her again before replying, “I don’t have to be inside you to make you find your release angel. Take off your small clothes; I promise I won’t enter inside you.” 

Aemma, slightly confused, raised herself and did as was told. Once she removed her small clothes, she gasped at Benjicot’s stronghold, roughing, pulling her back onto his lap. She whimpered, feeling his stiffness nestle in between her folds. Ben placed his head on her neck, licking her neck and huffing as he felt her slick wetness coating him. Placing his arms around her waist, Ben began to move his princess, allowing his cock to slide in between her lower lips, savoring her moans and gasps. 

Aemma closed her eyes in pleasure, wrapping her arms around Benjicot’s head as she, too, began to move and grind herself on him, enjoying the feeling of him sliding. 

“Mmmhm, yes, Ben, just like that,” she whispered, for she only wanted him to hear how good she felt. 

Ben, wanting to hear more, began to roughly and faster grind himself to her, grunting at how much wetter she began. She was gorgeous, and she was his, and he was hers. No other man will ever compare to him, and no other woman can hold a candle to her. They were made for each other, and both princess and lord knew that thought to be entirely true. They were always meant to find each other. 

“Please, Ben, please..” Aemma began to plead, moving her hips faster, wanting to bring her release faster. 

“Please, my love, I can’t give you something I don’t know.” Ben taunted, although he, too, was coming close to his second release. 

“Make me undone…I need your release; I need you to bring me to ecstasy,” commanded Aemma, leaning her hips as she felt like she was going to burst. 

“Go ahead, sweetling. I will never deny you,” assured Ben, groaning as he and Aemma simultaneously allowed their release to flow over them. 

Both moaned at the sensation, holding on to each other until their ecstasy soothed over, panting. Both stayed frozen, smiling at each other. 

After a moment, Aemma kissed Ben sweetly, playing with the hairs on the back of his neck. Smiling at the kiss, Ben caressed her face. Allowing each other to feel their love for each other. 

“We should probably bathe before someone comes with Jaesys; I’d rather not see my father with our fluids still on us.” proposed Aemma, rising from his lap. 

Benicot laughed but silently agreeing he did not need to give his good father an excuse to stab him. Taking his wife into his arms, he walked them both to the bathing section of their tent. 

As the night progressed, Daemon finally returned the baby to his parents, wishing them goodnight as the young family prepared for bed. Jaesys snuggled in his bassinet, and the babe cooed in his sleep. Aemma snuggled into her husband, breathing in his scent as she allowed the realm of dreams to welcome her. Lastly, Ben, too, entered the realm of dreams. Two ravens flying around him welcomed him as one landed before him. Benjicot’s eyes widened, seeing the raven transform into his twin. His shock grew as the second raven flew down, Jaesys transforming out and landing in his uncle's arms. Davos smiled at the babe, tickling the baby as he turned to his younger twin. 

“Look at you, snagging a Targaryen princess, aye,” smirked Davos, watching as Benjicot openly gaped at him.

“What, the dragon got your tongue, Ben? Close your mouth before a fly enters; I don’t think my good sister would appreciate that.” Davos laughed as Benjicot glared at him. 

“How…what… how are you here? Where am I?” asked Ben. 

Davos shrugged, placing his nephew back in his father's arms. “Not sure, this could be your dreams or the realm in between; regardless, the old gods have decided to be generous with me and allow me to meet my nephew; he's a handsome bugger, isn’t he…a proud Blackwood, he will grow into.” 

Benjicot smiled, slightly agreeing with his twin: “He has Targaryen qualities, too; he has his mother’s eyes.” 

Davos nodded; the Blackwood genes were beautifully enhanced thanks to the Targaryen's otherworldly beauty in his nephew. 

As the twin brothers continued making small takes, Davos felt his time was coming to a close. As he expressed his thoughts, Benjicot frowned. He was not ready to let go of his twin. 

Davos chuckled, walking to his twin and hugging him. Benjicot was always the sweeter of the two. 

“We are proud of you, Ben; Mother, Father, and I are all proud. You will lead our house to glory. You will be the first in generations to warg, allowing our allies and enemies alike to see the true power of having the blood of the first men. Continue on your path, brother; you will be successful. 

Sniffing, Benjicot smiled tearily at his twin, knowing their time was up. Walking away from the young father and son, Davos smiled. 

“Tell your princess I thank her for honoring our customs and that her brothers are safe with their families.” 

Ben gaped at the words. Nodding, he stared in awe as his brother transformed into a raven again, taking flight and flying away from father and son, with sweet little Jaesys cooing, his purple eyes following as the blackbird became smaller and smaller in the distance.

[creedslove]

DAVE YORK AND YOUR PREGNANCY - HEADCANONS

Dave York x f!reader

A/N: hi besties! I'm glad to see you all coming down to ask box to talk about Dave because honestly, I think the world needs to recognize more of murder daddy and our Dave York apologists™ community needs to grow! Also, I sort of kept this headcanon here in my mind and I've also had a bug craving of female rivalry with our favorite person to hate: Carol, hehehe enjoy 😉

• it's not a secret to anyone the whole reason why Dave married Carol was because she got pregnant in the first place; they didn't love each other that much, but their relationship wasn't all bad, so when she showed up knocked up it was only the logical step to jump into marriage

• and it was already in the early stages of the pregnancy, Dave noticed the task wasn't going to be as easy as he thought it would, or more like it, it would be as easy to be around Carol as he thought it would. Quite the opposite, she managed to show her true colors as soon as it finally sank in she was indeed pregnant

• their relationship wasn't the best thing that'd ever happened to either of them, but at least they had an active social life, had a decent sexual life and other stuff going on, things weren't always miserable, but whatever kind of bond that could exist between them was suddenly gone, as she did everything in her power to keep Dave away from her

• first of all, all she would complain was about being nauseous, which is common for pregnant women Dave knew, he wasn't a man cave after all, although it started to annoy the hell outta him the fact she claimed to feel sick at the smell of his perfume, his aftershave, his shampoo, his clothes and eventually himself

• and then, it started with the fact that whenever he put his hands on her, she couldn't even hide his grossed out she was; she simply didn't want to feel him, she didn't want him cooking her food and whenever she had an outburst for gaining weight or looking bigger, she would cry, scream, accuse and pick fights blaming it on him for making her body

• and as the pregnancy progressed, so did this situation, it was so stressful and annoying, the way she would just waste money on things, complaining about cute, heartfelt presents she got because she said her baby didn't need anything given to them, she also complained about whatever Dave bought, it was never correct: it was either too pink or not pink enough and so on

• by the time their daughter was born, Dave was already exhausted, and even if he loved her with all his heart, it wasn't what he expected from fatherhood, deep down he feared she would be just like her mom one day - sad news, she turned out exactly like Carol

• and Dave carried on his marriage without the same flame, he was disappointed in the person he married, and when his second girl came along, the experience wasn't any better, but there wasn't anything he couldn't do about it

• so when Dave got divorced and married you, things were so different, he enjoyed how light and gentle your marriage truly was; he loved the good dynamics you both had; how caring and affectionate you were towards each other, how fun days were without a heavy routine, just doing as you pleased and spending time with each other

• things were so good between the two of you, and as Dave finally learned how to sort of balance the distance from his daughters - you still found him in his office staring at pictures of them as toddlers during special holidays at the same time he sighed whenever he tried calling or texting them and was completely ignored it just replied with dry, annoyed texts, was when you found out you were pregnant

• Dave was a mix of feelings, he knew it was a possibility, after all you two weren't so careful with preventing it, but he couldn't help feeling his heart drop, just to imagine he would lose that close side of your relationship because of his experiences as a father and he was so scared about resenting his baby over it, as much as he tried reminding himself he wasn't like his mother at all

• so when you came to him and told about your suspicions, he was supportive, but you could tell he was holding himself back, and knowing about his marriage background and the real drama he often went on with Molly and Alice, you could have a good picture of how complicated things were

• so he drove you to the drugstore, he bought tests next to you and he waited by your side until you got the results - positive, of course - the next day, he drove you to the clinic and waited as you went through every single exam that could attest if you were indeed expecting

• and as much as he held you, kissed you and showed happiness, you still saw something was off, deep in down, Dave's biggest fear was that he was going to lose you to the baby, because Carol wasn't a great partner but whatever he had with her, was gone, and he couldn't face the same happening between the two of you

• you then, gave him some time and space, knowing he had a mission coming in the next few days, you really thought of asking him not to go, but you knew you couldn't actually do it, so you just wished him a nice and safe trip and reminded him how much you loved him

• and once Dave came back was when he realized that perhaps things weren't going to be lost between the two of you, because yeah, he called every single day to check up on you and the baby, and he knew you'd started your nausea/hunger/sleepy phase so he figured once he got home, you would star drifting apart from him

• but much to his surprise, you didn't, quite the opposite: you practically jumped on him, because you wanted to hug and hold Dave in your arms, you wanted to feel his warmth and weight, and god, his scent simply drove you insane with desire and satisfaction

• you complimented his cologne, his shampoo, the scent of his clothes, soap, you name it... you just loved everything and you loved burying your face into his neck and sniffing him

• his pancakes were also to die for: it didn't matter if he made them sweet or tried different salty recipes, if it was breakfast or just breakfast for dinner, you loved spending time with him and appreciating his food, and you also thanked him for adding fruits and many other healthy things into your diet

• your sex life also improved, with differences of course, mostly, Dave wouldn't be so rough, he was more romantic and soft towards you and there was no stress: you wanted him as much as he wanted you, the hormones, the passion, the romance was all in synch and even if you eventually got a little insecure about your body changes, there weren't cries, arguments, all it took the two of you was just some reassurance from Dave's side, the way he would sometimes hold you in front of a mirror and grab your lotion and spread all over your skin, or how he would nuzzled your neck and whisper into your ear how sexy you were becoming or even when he would bury himself between your thighs until you couldn't handle it anymore, was enough to settle things

• over the course of your pregnancy, Dave realized your bond was stronger than never, because you two were very much in love, you were expecting a child Dave already loved so much without the fear of this baby growing into an obnoxious child like it happened before

• the fact he was going to have a little boy after two girls was also pretty exciting for him, as he figured it would be somehow easier and he kind of had hopes to fix his own traumas by being a kind father to a boy, knowing what a boy needed as growing up

• he loved how happy and careful you were with everything you got as a gift for the baby: baby shoes, clothes, onesies, you were so thankful for people's kindness to gift your baby, never trash-talking anything you got and also thanking Dave for the gifts

• he realized you were both more united, not working against each other with a baby in the middle, but instead, working together in order to raise that precious little thing you two loved so much and it showed him a real meaning of family to him

• you two were meant to be, your baby was loved by the two of you with all your hearts and you couldn't want another life, things were good and the Yorks were finally happy the way they deserved to be ❤️

____

[jhuzen]

Will there be a part 2 of the "Attention" fic?

infidelity [gn/m.reader]

the answer to that is a solid yes AND a big apology for taking a hundred years to post this. this ask has been in my inbox for freaking months. and it’s mostly because i have been remaking this fic until i got the most satisfying fic LMAO. i’m sorry for taking so long 😭 i hope this is compensation enough. btw this part 2 to this! but honestly, you don’t have to read it lmao.

𖦹 crack taken seriously, hsr mention but this is mostly genshin, this is just a fic of me making fun of cheaters aka you, highly based on that one tweet of the “welcome home, cheater” one, pushing my grand overseer reader agenda like in my early fics teehee <3, sagau, sahsr au

“I should probably go back…”

Jing Yuan begged to differ. The general himself had his reservations about your sudden eagerness to depart. After all, you were a good company — one that amused him to the core and even kept him awake for the better part of the day. You are an interesting being to him after all — much after learning from the exuberant girl from the famed Astral Express suddenly emphasizing your importance when they left you under his supervision.

You, in much simpler words, are adorable in the Luofo general’s eyes. With eagerness and curiosity melding in those gaze of yours that could leave anyone transfixed — wanting and desperate.

You truly live up to the title as the grand overseer across worlds. You were the sole beholder of their sentience, despite the fact that right now, you’re barely aware of your status and your circumstance, it was more than enough for anyone go cherish your presence. How could they not? It was a blessing to see you descend from where you were, behind the great barrier that they all could only stare at when they looked to you for guidance.

Alas, that mattered little, not when you were beside the amused general and his coy smile, fingers raking through your hair; reminiscent of the pattern when he would do the same thing to Mimi when you visited his abode to meet the furry beauty that was his pet.

Quite frankly, you weren’t all too sure if this was something you were used to, being treated like an animal companion, with even the way Jing Yuan’s hand would suddenly roam behind your very human ears, scratching behind out of habit.

The only thing missing was him giving your food to you in a bowl, actually, and you’d be no different than Mimi at that point. Wait. No. You were sure Jing Yuan’s lion also ate out of a golden encrusted plate when you saw his hired caretakers come and feed Mimi.

“Bark for me, won’t you?” The general teased with a purr and it was more than enough for you to pull the plug at your willing compliance.

You removed his hand from your head and only shot him a subtle glare, “That’s a request I can’t honor even if my life depended on it.” You sighed, “I should get going now though, General… I made a promise to help our conductor in sweeping the floors. Apparently Caelus tracked some dirt inside when he decided to lug some trash.”

“Must you really? You’re the grand overseer, no? I believe such a title deserves a limitless freedom in doing whatever it is that they wish,” he coaxed in a suave tone, quick to win anyone over. And honestly, that sounds nice. But you’ve never seen Pom-Pom look so stressed when you saw an unwilling March and Dan Heng drag some trash either wrapped in gold bags or regular black ones inside the express when they came back from Belobog.

You somehow regretted leaving first — but even you had urgent matters to attend to at that moment.

“Ah—!” The lax Jing Yuan jolted at your sudden outburst.

“…Anything troubling you, Grand Overseer?”

“T-Teyvat! I completely forgot…!” Your eyes were blown wide as the panic settled within you. You had promised Nahida you would make it to the Interdarshan championship. She was so excited when she communed with you just days ago, completely elated that even your beloved Wanderer would participate as a representative in a Darshan.

Albeit confused by your sudden squawking, Jing Yuan understood and only watched you pace around while you lamented what sounds to be a rehearsed apology that you will no doubt tell to someone you hold precious.

“How envious, to receive an apology from you even sounds like a great honor.” Jing Yuan teased with a chuckle. “Well then, off you go now. Don’t be away for too long. I rather enjoy our time together.”

“O-Oh, yes, of course… I truly apologize for cutting our time together short. Do give my regards to Fu Xuan and Yanqing if they drop by. I have to go and talk to the crew and also bid my goodbye for now.” You bowed before turning away, briskly walking your way towards the door outside of the general’s office, only to bump into Welt and March.

“Oh! There you are! Ya ready to go shopping?” March held an exuberant energy as she asked, clasping your hand in hers tightly with an excited gleam flashing through her eyes.

Welt, however, was far more observant than March, “Judging from that look in your eyes… you have some affairs you’ve forgotten to tend to, Your Benevolence. Would I be correct in my judgment?”

“It’d be a miracle for you to be wrong at this point,” you laughed amidst your panic. “But yes, unfortunately. March, I hope you don’t mind a little bit of postponement… I have somewhere to be urgently.”

March’s bottom lip stuck out into pleading pout, “But you promised!”

“March, let’s not force them. It is as they say — an urgent affair.” Welt only looked at you with a small nod and an encouraging smile, “Don’t be too worried. I’ll let Himeko and Dan Heng know of your absence. Just be safe.”

“I will definitely come back and visit.” Your smile and reassurance was enough to quell March’s disappointment and Welt’s initial concern. “Please tell Caelus not to track more dirt inside. It’ll only serve to frustrate Pom-Pom further.”

“It’s a useless attempt, but for you, I’ll try,” March winked as she waved to you with Welt.

With a nod to the two of them, you were off to Teyvat — lucky that you have little need for the Star Rail in the first place to travel. Otherwise, it would most certainly take you the entire conceivable time just before you could even come back to one of the many worlds that you oversaw and to a fault, even took care of from afar.

You stepped into the familiar grassy fields of Sumeru’s rainforest, looking up to see that the city isn’t too far off. There was a gentle breeze that blew by, almost like a kiss from a certain archon, but you paid little heed to it. You normally always took your time to appreciate the sights in Teyvat, finding its vast lands and many biomes incredibly fantastical in sight. But even that couldn’t keep you from the fact that you’ve broken several promises that you willingly made to some residents here.

You can only imagine the disappointment in everyone’s faces once you’ve admitted to the fact that… other people may have swept your attention away in the first place — hence your sudden absence.

You owed your first apology to Nahida. She is after all, one of your far more favored archons around, treating her like your own, definitely something that would make Rukkhadevata proud among every other archon out there. And then there’s also a matter of apologizing to your dear Aether, you made another promise to him that you would spend your time with him in Sumeru’s far end by the Realm of Farakhkert to meet the infamous Sorush and the majestic race of the Pari (you once made a claim that Aranara’s are superior, and your endeared traveler was reluctant in protesting to your words it seems).

Now that you thought about it — you were sure you made quite a lot of promises to the residents of Teyvat. A lot of commitments were hammered into your special sanctuary that Aether had built for and with you inside his teapot.

Commitments that you’ve forgotten in favor of space travels with a couple of trailblazers.

Onlookers turned to your direction, completely flabbergasted at your casual appearance. What were you doing in Sumeru city (not that they were ungrateful for your gracious presence) — but it was as if you were solely taking a stroll on your own. Where are your entourage? Was the Acting Grand Sage even informed of your arrival? What about the archons that always accompanied you? Where is Buer?

Best of all, why does your face contort into an expression of what seems to be utter guilt?

You hiked your way to the Sanctuary of Surasthana, refusing any help offered to you by the guards that were courteous enough. You were prepared to face Nahida’s crestfallen look — prepared to start indulging her wishes to make up for the tomfoolery you engaged in. The corners of your mouth trembled as it itched to finally spill out the plethora of apologies that you’ve prepared.

“Oh. So you exist after all.”

Only for your well-rehearsed (by the last minute) apologies to fall apart when the Wanderer’s voice rang from above. You looked up to see him perched on one of the ledges just above the door of Nahida’s residence. He was stationed like a watchful hawk — and he was, constantly on the prowl for anyone suspicious daring to come up to the sanctuary.

Suddenly, a memory of you promising him to go fishing by the coasts of Sumeru had you wincing. And with the way the puppet’s mouth turned up in a smug smirk showed that he was aware of an engagement you swore you’d do with him.

“Ah… I hear you go by Hat guy now?” You tilted your head, giving him a reluctant smile.

“Spare me the meaningless prying. Where have you been?” His eyes narrowed, suspicious and a tad bitter at your absence and incompetence in attending a tiny little leisure that you yourself insisted he join you on. Who the hell even creates plans first and suddenly flakes out? The Wanderer has never felt more betrayed, quite frankly.

You suddenly looked like a guilty spouse that came from a messy affair, with the way you shifted your footing and how you averted your gaze quick. The Wanderer was intolerant of such a behavior however when he finally came down from his little high up spot to face you with no escape. He will summon a void and trap you in it halfway if you so much as make an attempt to escape.

“I’ve been… away…”

“Were you now?” His scrutinizing gaze only served to intimidate you further when he came up close, his nimble fingers tracing against your clothing. “Whose is this?”

And before you, he held a familiar long strand of white hair — possibly acquired when the general of Luofo decided to frolic around with you, coaxing (or coercing, more like) you to give him a much deserved head massage for his hard work (though in truth, he barely did anything that day).

“…A cat.” Technically not a lie. Jing Yuan does exhibit certain behaviors that you can classify as a behavior that a feline has.

“Is it now?” His voice went an octave higher — clearly mocking you if his churlish grin wasn’t enough of a sign about his suspicions of you and your… agendas prior to your unprompted visit in Teyvat.

A terse silence engulfed you and your Wanderer before he flicked away the hair and dragged you inside Nahida’s sanctuary.

“She was disappointed that you were absent the entire Interdarshan event thing. Where in the abyss were you?” The puppet hissed, his grip on your wrist tightening. Somehow you found it far more comforting compared to the times where people would treat you like some fragile object that could break at any second.

What’s not comforting however, were his words. You couldn’t bear the thought of letting Nahida down, and now you’re faced with that very thought becoming a reality that you now have to get through just for the sake of your sanity.

You smiled a little despite seeing the Dendro Archon’s back turned while she minded her own business. There was always something comforting when wasting your hours away inside the sanctuary. Just having to teach Nahida from your old world knowledge about people, and to an extent even teaching the Wanderer with your wisdom that rarely pops out (according to him, with full intent to insult you). It’s not as daring as the time Venti decided to fling you up and catch you or Ei’s insistence on you eating your tenth dango during your walks.

For now however, you had one goal in mind — and that is to make amends with your favored archon and puppet.

Teyvat altogether created an unspoken rule to never ever doubt you — the Grand Overseer. You have a position that transcends even farther than the Primordial One, your eyes that gaze on many universes and worlds. You are the one that took care of the blooming life in each planet that teemed with it, thriving under your guidance.

There was a collective decision among all gods and mortals alike to never doubt your endeavors, much less your love for them. You care a lot about them, and based solely on your constant descent towards their world, it seems as though above all other worlds, you favored them. They were the proof of your benevolence, granting the residents your presence while you walked among them.

Right. That was the case that everyone agreed upon.

However, there was an underlying layer of unease. Heaven forbid may it be doubt; they could never! But perhaps… a tiny bit of uncertainty in the layer of cautiousness as the residents watched you with adoration.

It first started with the wrong names.

When Albedo, Sucrose, and Timaeus wholeheartedly welcomed your help when you visited Dragonspine with Klee. Jean was far too busy with her work and while she wished to, could not have time to bask in your presence after the announcement of your sudden arrival. In turn, you only assured her and relieved her of her added duty in watching over Klee.

Klee was the one to visit big brother Albedo, to surprise him that you were finally back. And you complied. Dragonspine is an extension of Mondstadt, and you had plans to check up on every single resident of the nation.

Suffice to say, you were quickly hooked up in a chair, pulse detectors attached to your temples while you watched Klee doodle away on the floor. For a respected overseer, you certainly were a people pleaser, letting Albedo scan you out of his own volition (Sucrose was fussing the entire time, she didn’t want you to be hurt in the process, after all!).

“Look Grand Overseer! This is you and me and Dodoco!” Your vision was quickly filled with a flurry of bright colors on paper, one that was filled with an abundant amount of red and the other with the colors of your clothing.

“Ah! So it is! Good job, Hook!”

Everyone in silence soon tore themselves away from their work, looking at you with evident confusion.

Klee blinked, tilting her head as she looked just as lost and surprised as the other three researchers in the mountain, “Hook? That’s not how you say Klee…”

Your heart hammered against your ribcage and tried to save it with a cough, “D-Did I now? Ah, my bad… I meant to say was that you… did a great job! It immediately hooked me in!” It was a half-baked excuse — hell, call it a raw excuse even and everyone aside from Klee caught on as the explosive child beamed with pride, just happy that you loved her heartfelt creation.

Albedo eyed you in suspicion before returning to his work.

Then there was your misplaced reminiscence.

In your defense however, Snezhnaya does feel like Belobog. Sometimes… most definitely not because of the fact that both places are constantly subjected in a thick layer of snow.

The Tsaritsa was all but cruel to you. She loved you like any other archon out there and always basked in your presence — even keeping you for herself a week or two longer, leaving the next nation in your rotation of visitation completely restless at your tardiness. However in her gentle kindness was a terrifying beast that laid dormant.

Only then did you catch a glimpse of it on the morning that you and her spent on your appointed room in the palace, both you and the Cryo Archon siting on the balcony while you sipped on a hot beverage, enjoying the mountainous coated in freshly fallen snow.

You sat your cup down and blew on your hands. The Tsaritsa laughed at your actions, pleased that you can truly feel the love she embodied through the cold winds of her icy nation.

“Cold enough for you, Grand Overseer?” She jested with a light tone.

“…Yep…” your teeth lightly chattered. “…T-This place is a lot c-colder than Belobog, I’ll tell you that… B-But not more than Jarilo-VI as a whole…”

All of a sudden, you could feel the creeping coldness from beside you and looked to where the archon sat, her striking eyes looking at you with curiosity… with a smidge of coldness behind them.

“Pardon? Not colder than where?”

Her tone was pressed despite her sweet adoring smile. She took pride in her sovereign kingdom of cryo. It was all for you, to feel the comforting cold after you spent your last stay with Murata in Natlan. This was her giving you love, and suddenly, it wasn’t enough?

The better part of your mind decided to feign ignorance. And you lived to see another day.

And then the sudden secrecy.

By all means, of all people, Zhongli indulged in your stories the most. Whenever you visited Liyue, you were almost always found beside him if Ningguang wasn’t asking for your presence or if you weren’t getting coerced into another drinking competition with Beidou and her crew. And in this case, you were preoccupied with a little something while you accompanied Zhongli in his usual spot.

He listened earnestly to the storyteller while you busied yourself writing a little something on a parchment you had acquired from the Wangsheng parlor when you fetched Zhongli for his break.

And ever so slightly, he’d find himself glancing at your hunched over form, while you stewed in your little activity. He didn’t particularly mind the lack of conversation from you. Having you beside him was more than enough, actually. But it wouldn’t hurt for you to have him be just as engaged in your little agenda, would it?

The former archon peered at your work, only to be faced with scripts that were oddly reminiscent of Liyue’s characters. Albeit there were significant changes that made the language still all too different from his nation.

“…Might you be translating ancient texts, Grand Overseer?” He inquired and was met by a suspicious jolt from you.

It was a text Dan Heng gave you before to practice the language used in the Xianzhou fleet. Only now did you have time to do his little practices upon your descent. You had plans to check up on everyone as soon as you were done in Teyvat, and perhaps impressing Yanqing with your language prowess was a good party trick (and eventually not get bullied into eating something spicy because of your ignorance).

“Ah! N-No—! I— yes. No.”

Zhongli tilted his head and you were quick to recall your flubbed answer, shoving away the parchment into your little pocket. There was a frantic look in your eyes and Zhongli was concerned, naturally.

You used to be so willing in divulging everything to him in exchange for his stories, with the both of you managing to talk from dusk to dawn without fail with him needing little to no sleep and the time dilation that your body couldn’t seem to adjust to. You weren’t afraid to share what you were preoccupied with, and even often let him experience new things from your own world.

So why are you keeping secrets now?

But perhaps, the breaking point was your standoffish nature.

Aether has always cherished his raw connection with you and was proud to wear his closeness to your divinity, not because of infamy, but because of how incredibly special you treat him. While, certainly, you have made the people of Teyvat special on your visits, but what sets him apart from the rest is your adamant expression of affection towards him. For some reason, he was favored alone, not as a part of a collective unlike Venti and his people, or Zhongli and his. He alone was yours to indulge, even more behind closed doors in his teapot realm.

However… something was off after your abrupt visit.

Something had changed when you came home.

You were far more distracted, occupied with that tiny device you always held in your hand. Suddenly, Paimon wasn’t the loudest one in the teapot mansion with the incessant beeping that your phone made. It never did that before, it was always tucked away somewhere, sometimes even letting him place it in his inventory if there was little time to go back into the teapot.

He had always deemed your mode of communication useless. Especially on your travels. It was always so silent, like a useless artifact that you keep on you.

But suddenly it was teeming with life, buzzing endlessly that could drive any man with weak resistance into the threshold of insanity. You’d often pick it up and grant the little device a heavenly smile and proceed to be on it for hours upon hours.

It was a heartbreaking time for him.

It was heartbreaking whenever he would peer at your device, only for you to keep him in the dark as you made some lame excuse.

It was heartbreaking whenever he could no longer recognize your words when you talked about your own anecdotes, throwing name after name at him while he listened intently.

And oh was it heartbreaking when you called him by the name of someone else.

“[Name], have you seen my earring?” He took pride in his informality with you showing your comfortability and familiarity with the renowned traveler.

“Over on the table, Cae— ther… Caether… Aether.”

Not so much with that tiny slip.

Yes. Perhaps that was it. And all the preceding reasons.

Perhaps it was why you sat like a condemned criminal in the court of Focalors, as every archon looked at you with scrutiny and skepticism in their eyes. Only sweet Nahida looked at you in concern. Ah, your poor child. You’d rather her look away than experience the possible punishment you were about to receive.

“Grand Overseer, make no mistake, this is a trial born from the accumulated concerns of us all. This is a trial born… from our love.” The hydro archon’s voice bellowed through the courts. She normally wasn’t one to personally try the defendants, however you were a special circumstance.

You always were.

…Sure doesn’t feel like it…

“M-May I at least know what my charges are…?”

“Infidelity, Grand Overseer.” Ei answered for the collective. “I can only hope you are not found guilty.”

You grimaced. You’re quite glad that this was a private trial, with only the archons, retired or otherwise, gazing at you. Make no mistake however — this was an intimidating position to be in. You may be the Grand Overseer, but you’re quite sure the only thing keeping you alive is their thinly veiled fanaticism and adoration for you. Otherwise, you would have been incinerated long ago.

It might have been your luck. But it was something you would wholeheartedly thank as the moment Focalors slammed her gavel down, the horrifying screech of something you can only classify as a hideous ally pulled you out of your impending doom.

The alarm on your phone rang incessantly, a glaring reminder of your subpar and mundane reality, waking you up from a dream that you could barely remember.

You shot up, only realizing you fell asleep in front of your own computer. You looked up to see your game open, with your beloved traveler gazing down at you with a disappointed frown on his face.

You chalked it up to your awful sleep and rubbed your eyes, closing the game and migrating to the other, where your in-game phone was filled to the brim with messages.

Smothering a yawn in your hand, you can only shake your head.

“My games have been really weird lately. I should probably leave them alone for now. Maybe have fun with Elysia and the girls.” You muttered to yourself but not before powering your computer down.

Truly, your utter cluelessness is bound to drive everyone insane.

Fret not however, they will make it work. They will let you know of their sentience. They will make sure that you are aware of how much they admire you.

It’s only a matter of time until then.

[jellyj777]

04; Kiss? | THE PATIENT

THE PATIENT | Book | Ch04;Kiss?

JungkookxReader (smut/fluff/angst)

— Falling in love with a patient in an asylum might not be everyone's tea but you had a thing to fix something you never broke at first place.

Words: 4.8k+

TROPES:: One sided hate, Therapist Au.

SYNOPSIS:: —"Don't trust me, Believe in me"

WARNINGS:: Talk about abuse, Violence ahead, explicit language, Anger issues

<- prev | index | next ->

Seok: I'm nervous as fuck, Y/N.

Seok: Send help T-T.

You chuckle at the emoticon he used. Silly funny guy.

You: It's not your first time, don't worry too much ffs.

You: Haven't you been doing this for like five years now?

Seok: So?! That doesn't mean I can't get nervous.

There are new interns at our place this for this meeting, like five or six more, definitely more than last time. True. New university students always join to get their internships to become future nurses or doctors but what confuses you is that why is Hoseok nervous?

Out of all the doctors in this place, you have never seen Hoseok nervous before well that is because he never is. He has always presented whenever these meetings happened and he was never nervous. Always smiley with his tone and words.

You: It's not your first time, stop worrying too much. We're all there for you, Seok. I'd be sitting in front.

Seok: You better be ready for my glare.

Seok: I'll be staring at you while explaining the crowd. Makes it easy ^_^

You roll your eyes and swing on the chair with your back slumped against the same, makes you curious of his topic. He didn't talk about it like he always does before the presentation.

You: Whatever, if that helps you then do so.

You: What's your topic anyways? Thought you've been researching for days now.

Seok: Bipolar Disorder

Seok: We got a new patient with it and I researched for the nurses to learn about the symptoms and stuff.

Bipolar Disorder. Good one and would help the nurses to learn more about the disease.

You: Oh that's cool. I'll see you in the meeting room.

You: You got this!!

<Seok liked a message you sent>

Seok: Thxx.

Seok: See u.

Putting your phone down, you get up from your seat to make your way out of the clinic. The clinic named under your name in the hospital designed with little things of yours just for the sake of your own mental health.

It's not easy to work in hospital especially as a nurse or a doctor. Especially when you can get slapped before by a patient, saying by the experience while you were working as a nurse doing mainly your internship. It's only been three years since you became a doctor in your department before that life, as a nurse, it wasn't easy at all.

Being a nurse in a mental hospital can be something which is risky for your own mental health too, you're surely aware of how stressful these types of meetings can be from a doctor's and a nurse's perspective. You remember the time when you were a nurse and Hoseok was one of the doctors back then.

He is always cheerful with the staff (the position of the staff doesn't matter) and made the place better than the emotional hell rollercoaster it was, but it amazes you how Hoseok is such a nice doctor even though he has witnessed a lot of bad stuff happening with his patients, done by the patients themselves.

Hoseok is one strong man that you know. Emotionally of course and on physical matters, it truly depends. You're aware how hard it can be to cope up with a patient's pain. Again, with experience.

He was the patient for you at that time. Left quite an impression on you to be honest.

A shrill like scream echoed in the hallway taking you out of your thoughts. The nurses rush towards the sound of the scream and with a frown, you follow along with the nurses. Not confused, just surprised at the sudden outburst. It wasn't uncommon to hear these types of shrills, screams, cries in the hospital building.

Many patients had different illnesses meaning that they have different hallucinations regarding the same. You walk past Jungkook's room who was looking out of the window with his one hand fiddling with elastic as he stretches the elastic out and another 'pop' sound in the room of his.

The sound of the elastic pop echoes. Not in the room but in his mind. Didn't even pay attention to the scream. Too busy with his own thoughts.

"Shit." You murmur and walk past the nurses to look at one of your patients who was laying on the floor with blood oozing of their wrist. "Bring the medic kit."

One of the nurses nod and rush away to bring the kit. Your hand wrapped around the wrist of the patient, mouth leaving comforting words that everything's gonna be fine.

Ji a. A patient who had ED. Suffered from the societal norms of getting fat-shammed in her early teens now in her late 20s has self-harm as her coping defense mechanism and is suffering from malnutrition.

Her other hand held the butter knife. It's actually phenomenal how some patients have found a way to do self harm without any materials provided to them.

You grab the butter knife and throw it away while one of the nurses clean up the wound and the other injects the injection through her forearm which makes her hiss. Ji a cried loud and clear letting you know she's in pain, in pain with the thing that she caused herself.

"It's fine, everything's gonna be fine..." your voice trails off in Ji a's mind, her head drops with a 'thud' on your lap, eyes closed and all the uneasiness washes away.

With a sigh, you get up after Ji a is safely tucked into bed and one of the helping hands walks in the mop to clean the blood from the floor.

"Doc. Mun, your coat..." The nurse points at your coat which had splash of bloods on it. Would leave a stain for sure but it was nonetheless than unusual. A little stain of blood is something every doctor is used to in here due to some of the patients.

"It's fine," you reassure and shrug it off but speak up again, "but what's not fine is that who forgot the butter knife."

The tension among the nurses infront of you rises as no one answers. "I just want to know who forgot it, no big consequences will be taken. Mistakes are tend to happen." You repeat, wanting the person who left the knife to admit without feeling scared, of course mistakes are tend to happen and a lesson should be taught so that it doesn't occur again.

Finally, a nurse steps in front, someone who you haven't seen before. You tilt your eyebrows upwards with a head tilt. "Was it you?" You ask. She nods.

"Everyone, make sure Ji a is fast asleep and check up the place again," You pause and point at the small closet beside the bed. "Make sure to check the cupboard, under the bed and anything that can help in self-harming should be removed."

The nurses nod and get to work, with squinted eyes you read the new nurse's name 'Sarah'. "And Sarah, please be at my office after checking up."

Sarah nods and waits for you to walk out. With a final look around the room, the other patient looking frightened by the encounter is now being comforted by the nurse. You walk out of the room to change your blood stained coat.

First time this week, new achievement for the year as it's Wednesday and it's only the first time blood got stained on your coat.

After changing your coat in the changing room for staff only, you make your way back to your clinic where Sarah was waiting out looking nervous, her gaze fixed on the pillar in front and wasn't even trying to look for you until your eyes meet. You gesture her to get in to which she nods, passes you a nervous smile, makes you reciprocate with your soft one.

The moment you both step, the awkward silence burns in the air, being the doctor you were and the senior one, it meant you're supposed to start the conversation. "I won't scold you," you start breaking the uneasiness and clear your throat. "Mistakes happen but you should be considerate with the choices you're providing for the patients."

Sarah nods, "I know, I'm so sorry, Doctor Mun. I just got transferred from a hospital to here and it's different. This is not an excuse for my behavior but it won't repeat again."

You're glad she took responsibility for her issue and it's normal to make mistakes. We're all just humans after all. "Um, I didn't know what illness was Ji a suffering from." She murmurs again quietly.

Your eyerbrows crease together, "What do you mean that you're not aware of what Ji a's suffering from?" You ask clearly confused by her statement. How can a nurse who is given a patient can't know the diagnosis of the patient.

"I mean, nobody told me. I'm telling you Doctor Mun, I'm new to the place." She pauses awkwardly fidgeting with her hands before she continues again not sure if the words she'll propose are correct. "I got transferred from a normal hospital with normal patients to this horrendous place."

"Horrendous? Excuse me." You scoff and fold your arms in front of your chest. Calling a helping hospital for patients who did not even want a specific diagnosis horrendous is crazy. This is not the correct vocab you'll use for this place.

At least not horrendous.

Sarah just shrugs her shoulders again looking uncomfortable for this conversation. "I said what I said, it's just new to me" She states again, staying stuck to her ground.

"Listen, I understand it's new to you but you cannot call a hospital — any kind — horrendous. Please improve your vocab cause I won't be tolerating this kind of language in a workplace where we are the helping hands for citizens. Understood?"

She nods, so you continue. "If you find this place being hard for you to handle please transfer to another hospital and the mistake that happened today should not be repeated. If you need any help with knowing some diagnosis, you can always come to my office, got it?"

"Yes, Doctor Mun." She nods again as you gesture her to leave with a small smile which she reciprocates and bows before leaving the room.

The lights shut off in the presentation room with projector being the only source of light at the moment, Hoseok clears his throat with a smile, his eyes the room and ended up landing it at you just like he promised.

"Hello everyone," he starts. "I'm Doctor. Jung for many of you who are new to the department or are doing their internships in here for future doctors or nurses. This is the meeting room where the doctors will knowledge you about general topics which can help you to learn more about the patients, I'll be starting today by talking about Bipolar Disorder as mentioned in the slide of the presentation."

He points at the screen behind him with his hand, there were total of six nurses in the room with three new interns and three doctors including you. You sat beside Dr. Kim, eyes locked in the front with your focus on the presentation.

These meetings are basically for new people in the hospital or even the old nurses who want to learn more about mental health diagnosis. You were basically here to support Hoseok knowing he returns the favor by coming to your presentations too, you already knew about bipolar disorder but supporting your friend is more important in this situation.

"Bipolar disorder is something that society believes into happening with anger issues in someone. Yes, this can be right but there are different types of Bipolar diseases and not all of them occur due to anger issues." Hoseok clicks the 'enter' button on the keyboard as the slide moves to second page with ease.

The second slide contained of three partition graph of types of bipolar diseases; "Bipolar 1 is defined by maniac attacks which are last up to seven days which can severe in many cases leading the patient to be rushed to hospital." He speaks.

"How severe?" The previous nurse, Sarah asks just like before she looked genuinely confused. Not her fault to begin with, she had zero knowledge about mental health and her transfer here is something that is really funny in a way and you're sure Hoseok will give you the tea about her transfer later, that is making you curious in a way now.

"Very, that patients suffering from this specific type of diagnosis go through depressive and maniac attacks altogether." Hoseok replies as Sarah nods her and writes down in her notebook.

"The worst part about this specific type is that the person suffering from it can change their mood from being overly happy which can be included in mania," He points out so that the interns can write down. "and feeling overly down which can be categorized under depressive attacks."

"So, a person can feel happy and sad at the same time?" An intern asks.

"Yes and the emotions of roller coaster is so fast that the person doesn't even what's happening." He nods and moves to another slide, "The worst part is that the emotions of roller coasters are so high that people can even hallucinate or even get delusions."

"Hallucinations and Delusions? Can you give more specific example for this situation?" Sarah asks raising her arm as Hoseok nods back.

"People living with this disease can feel strange sensations like hearing or seeing something that was never there which is also known as hallucinations; They also seem to believe in irrational stuff which may seem irrelevant to other people. Also note down that this usually happens when a person is going through a maniac or depressive episode."

Sarah nods so Hoseok continues, "A person with bipolar may be unaware that they going with a maniac phase or episode which means, they might be shocked after their phase is over or would mainly not believe people that they actually did something like that. It sound surreal to them basically."

A nurse raises her hand as Hoseok points after to speak, "Is there any cure for this? Like fully cure? Can a person live normally again after being diagnosed with this disease?" She asks.

"Unfortunately no, a person cannot live normally again. Bipolar disease is something which is life long and a person will survive basically on meds their whole life. They would also get episodes out of nowhere and that is what the meds help them in." He shifts his weight form one leg to another, "Meds prescribes can help in reducing the hallucinations and helps in balancing out the happiness with sadness in  a person's life."

The next fifteen minutes went by Hoseok answering questions about the diagnosis and went much deeper about this topic. He took the questions and explained thoroughly with a smile and did not get annoyed at basic or even the most obvious questions. Thanks to his six years of training in being a doctor.

He later explained about this new patient who will be transferred here from another hospital next week, the patient was young and that is something uncommon in this specific disorder.

Bipolar can start from the earliest ages in childhood but children are often neglected thinking they are just acting up as kids or even in late 40s with anger and emotions build up. The guy who is being transferred is mere twenty-five and has been admitted since a year now.

"You did great as usual," You smile and pat Hoseok's back who walked beside you, the presentation ended five minutes ago and everyone went back to doing their work.

He shrugs with a proud smirk making you roll your eyes knowing he'll talk about his presentation for the next few hours at this point. He'll point out how good he was while talking about his topic even though this guy was glaring into your soul for the whole time. Was too nervous to even break eye contact. "You know I'm the best."

"Yeah, as if you weren't dyeing in there." You sarcastically comment with a sarcastic smug like smile.

"Ok, bae. I get you're jealous of my speaking skills." He grins walking into your clinic following you behind.

"Fuck off," You laugh and settle back in your chair putting the notes from today on the table, "What's up with the new nurse?"

"Who? Sarah?" He raises his eyebrows settling himself in front of you on the chair. Your hands fiddling on the table with the paperweight, your favorite thing to do in the world besides fixing stuff of course.

You nod, "Yeah, she even forgot butter knife in Ji a's room."

"Oh that was what the scream was about?" He asks, he knew about the patient Ji a, you told him about her condition and everything as he does the same bout his patients. He did in fact heard a scream when he was re-reading his notes for the nth time in front of the mirror but didn't pay much attention knowing it's really common for that to happen.

"Yeah," You reply.

"Hm, Sarah?" He hums again, head tilted upwards thinking about Sarah's transfer. "Oh, she got transferred here from Gwangju district." He answers, eyes back on you as he recalled the talk he had in the morning about new staff.

"Reason?" You raise an eyebrow at him.

"She was like too nice there and got transferred here. Apparently she'll take time with every patient which is a good thing but the amount of staff normal hospital has are less causing the work to be delayed." He answers.

You nod back even though you wanted to scoff at his but now it makes sense why Sarah got transferred here and being honest she doesn't look like the person Hoseok is describing. Maybe you need more time with her to get to know her fully.  

After having a talk with Hoseok for the next fifteen minutes, mostly him breaking down the tea he got from another department. Hosoek got up to leave for his clinic. Says a quick 'see you at lunch' and walks out of the clinic room.

You hum to the jazz music that was playing through the small speaker connected to you and go back to doing your work. The door opening catches you a little off guard cause no nurse was allowed to enter a doctor's clinic without permission. You look up and your eyes meet up with Jungkook who stood there in his hospital pajamas, his expression a little unfocused and haze.

"Jungkook?" You ask, he gulps and walks in the room closing the door behind. This was confusing cause what was he doing here if he's supposed to be in his room.

"I need help." He speaks and takes a seat in front of you. You pause the jazz music quick and look at him with curious yet confused eyes. You don't mean to sound rude but you won't currently be getting paid to listen to his rant but you'll welcome it the most if it meant to help him or any other patients in his position.

"Yes? What is it?" You ask back, focus on him now.

"I did a bad thing." He replies, voice soft and innocent unlike how it usually is.

"A bad thing?" You ask back with a smile keeping calm cause both of you can't be panicking.

He nods, "You know Ji a?" He asks as if you were unaware of her. His choice of question now made you more curious, confused of why he's asking if you know Ji a cause you're basically her caretaker and doctor.

"Yeah, what about her? Did you talk with her today?" You question back with a smile but the frown on your face was opposite from the tone of your voice, happy cause he made a friend, maybe? but he just nods and stays silent. His expression was guilty which made your smile fall getting the sign that it wasn't just a friendly chat.

Silence settle between you two as you wait for him to speak but he avoided your gaze. Okay! the hell you mean he'll walk in firstly without permission and then talk like he did a big ass crime and then not speaking at all. "You can tell me, I won't tell anyone, y'know?" You break the silence slowly with a whisper.

He gulps "She, um, came to me today and started talking." He speaks again trying his best to explain the situation. You nod back showing that you're listening to him and he can continue talking. "She kissed me." Jungkook sighs finally letting it out of his chest, doesn't want to roam around the situation that happened. He didn't fully trust you but believed in you that you won't tell anyone hopefully.

Your eyes widened and eyebrows raised very confused now. His head hung low after his confession thinking he did something bad. "I'm sorry, what?" You ask not quiet believing him.

"Yeah, she, um kissed me and I don't know how but she just came to me and started talking and then the next moment she kissed me." He states, panic filled his voice as he looks up again to meet your not believing gaze.

"So you both kissed?" You ask again, he nods and you nod too. You both are quiet again, silence takes over between you two. You didn't see anything bad in this, they just kissed. What's the bad thing about it? "Can you explain me what happened fully?" You ask.

"She came to me and showed me her wrist when I was going to the washroom. She had like bandage around it and then suddenly she kissed me!" He exclaims.

Okay. So the kiss just didn't happen, it happened without his permission which is crazy. In the three years of being a doctor this is not the first time you're hearing about a patient kissing the other, both of them haven't felt intimacy for years now. Longer for Jungkook more than it was for Ji a. You've found patient even fucking in the field so this wasn't the craziest thing you ever heard. What was crazy though that it was out of Jungkook's consent.

"You didn't wanted to kiss her?" You ask and he shakes his head proving that he in fact did not wanted to kiss Ji a. "So, why'd you think that you did the bad thing? You did nothing bad in this." You speak, tone soft keeping up with your phycology major. Thanks to the university teacher who made you find calm in any situation. Periodt. 

"I don't know but I didn't wanted to kiss her," He tried to explain shifting uncomfortably in his seat. It was clear sign that he didn't wanted to kiss Ji a but he wasn't sure how to say that in words.

"Uncomfortable?" You ask.

"Yeah, uncomfortable, it was out of nowhere and it fet so uneasy, more uneasy than the injections you guys give." He murmurs, nibbling on his lower lip.

"I'm sorry that happened, I'll talk Ji a and this would never happen again." You apologize, "Are you okay?"

He hesitates but nods; "I just... it's been a long time since I kissed someone or someone kissed me and it was a bit weird too."

"How long, hm? I'm so sorry, Jungkook that this happened to you. I promise this won't happen again." You murmur, a lump stuck jn your throat as you swallow. The feeling Jungkook must've felt must've been crazy to be honest and it was making you vulnerable even when you're thinking about it.

You're aware that Ji a is one of the patients and must have not been in her right mindset while doing something so serious. None of this excuses her behavior though, the way she luntched on Jungkook was clearly a sexual assault; doesn't matter if it was a small one.

"I don't like all this touching stuff," Jungkook declares hoping you'd understand his inability of being comfortable with touches. "And I haven't kissed anyone in a while so it really took me by surprise." He explains.

"I'll make sure it never happens again, Jungkook." You state with confident, this thing happening once was a big shock to you so it happening twice will be a big disappointment in it's own.

He nods, he believes you at least tries to you knowing you always stuck to your words. He gets up and was about to leave but stops in his tracks.

"Can I ask a favour, Doc?" He asks.

"Of course, anything. What is it?" You raise your eyebrows at him, now standing up from your chair so that you can drop Jungkook off to his room.

"Is there any way my room can be near your office?" He questions, voice low and slow almost a whisper. He said it as if it was a crime.

"Give me a second," You bite your bottom lip and bend down towards your computer to check if there's any rooms available nearby your clinic. "Hm, there's one room that was being renovated but it will take time."

He shrugs his shoulders, "I'm fine with the time taking, I just want to near your clinic so that I feel safe."

"Um, okay, I'll talk with someone and try my best to get you the room," You smile, standing up straight again. "Until then, just try to contact me or the nurses if something like this happens again."

He nods and walks out of your clinic with you behind him. The conversation towards his room was basically about his daily routine, about what he's eating nowadays or if he wants to try some new food or even fruits like last time. You got the feeling that he was still affected by the situation with Ji a which was quiet surprising cause Ji a has never thrown herself on to people moreover to kiss them.

She was very insecure about her looks, something that someone should not be but speaking generally out of her results, she was basically afraid to show herself to people. These fears led her to isolate herself from others, feeling conscious whenever someone looks at her, became a picky eater too.

You tried your best to make Jungkook feel safe, even if it was just a little. The effort put by you is enough to be noticed by Jungkook.

"Doc?" He starts, now sitting on his bed while you pour a cup of water for him and hum back to his questioning voice to answer. "Will you actually change my room?" He asks, yet again, a little conflicted and hesitant with his questions.

"I will try to, Jungkook." You hand him the glass of water, at least you'll try to change his room. If being honest, if not by you, you'll probably text another doctor in the department.

He nods and drinks his water; the tattoos on his arm were visible. Few inked tats here and there, to be honest, nobody knew what these tattoos on his right arm means. He never explained it to anyone; not even his friends or family or even the trusted doctors in the previous asylum and hospital he stayed at.

You'd love to ask him about the tattoos but that would be crossing the line. His tattoos were something which were present nowhere, not the documents, previous therapy sessions. Nothing.

"I'll let you know by tomorrow, okay?" You murmur, he nods in return before putting the now empty glass on the table beside his bed.

After making sure that he was all calm now, looked safe and after your reassurance he probably felt safe too. You leave the room quietly and the first thing that comes in your mind is CCTV footage. It's not like you didn't trust Jungkook. No. It's more like you wanted a reassurance yourself or confirmation if said in terms.

Seok: Wya?

You: Surveillance room; r you done with work?

Seok: Yea, lol.

Seok: Whatu doing there? 

Obvious question from an obvious guy. You rest your head on the table, cheek pressed with the table while your left hand angled and also pressed on the table to the side with your phone in your hand.

You: Getting some tea :P

Seok: Stopppp, actually?!?

The reaction was so expected. You chuckle and sit up after seeing the notification pop up on top of Hoseok's message.

You: Gonna tell you tom, gtg, Kim's calling !!

Seok: C'monnn don't leave me hanging :(

wattpad:CH04 (read on wattpad)

A/N:

taglist; @seokout @khadeeeeej @bybyash ‘to be added in the taglist : 🏷️’

thank you for supporting 'TP' or 'THE PATIENT' ! Here's an update after so long; I got so busy with my life :<. Anyways, love you and have an amazing day ! This chapter is the longest i’ve wrote till now and i got too lazy to even edit it cuz too much reading and i’ve re-read it a millions times already lol, should i post the smut taexreader that wasn’t written in chap 3 or not!?

[no-name-blu]

Hello blu! Can you tell us a more about your other AU? Theater

I'm surprised you even heard of the AU. I keep trying to draw and make content for it just for the AU to get overshadowed by a different interest so many times

Anyways

BROKEN THEATRE AU

This is the only refs I made for the characters:

Inspired by The Show That Goes Wrong this AU is about a theatre company with big dreams but terrible outputs. Just for AU reasons, they are all terrible people. Like genuinely, they are all egotistical and even fight each other a lot (it's normal) but in the end, they all love each other and have a close bond to this group they have formed found family core

Unfortunately, I wasn't a theatre kid so my knowledge for this AU isn't going to be accurate.

But I had @rae-ven13 to help me out with it and I made her co-writer for this forgotten AU

More explanation of the AU down here

the theatre group, the characters, and more doodles I made! :D

Welcome Home Organisation of Real Entertainment

This is the name of their little theatre group, only consists of 8 members, with Home (Wally's rich father) to support the organization.

It started out with Sally and Barnaby having a double act show together in college, with the help of Frank and Poppy backstage too.

Then when they graduated Sally found Wally and manipulated befriended him to convince his dad for a show. Which he agreed, only as long as he gets to join the group too.

And that's how they got the organization to this day

Bonus: Barnaby came up with the name for their theatre group, and Sally learned not to give him that trust ever again.

MEET THE CREW

Sally Starlet

Role: The Director, The Writer, Actress

She started the whole group and made herself the leader.

Sally believes she is surrounded by amateurs, her actors are immature and full of problems. But no reason, she is a great director despite the anger and outburst caused by these people. Of course, she believes he is the best out of all of them and would've have a great show if she had gotten a little more respect. But in the end, without her, this group would be lost and confused.

Barnaby B. Beagle

Role: Actor, Writer

He is a self proclaimed co-leader to Sally despite the arguments they always have. Barnaby is actually the most egotistical in the group. One of the reasons he considers Wally as his best friend is because they can both be shitty people together. He's a little mean to the others and has a hierarchy built in his head. But the gang still loves him, no one slanders him for his actions and it made Barnaby have a soft spot for them too. He doesn't mean to be such a jerk, he genuinely cares.

Poppy Partridge

Role: Actress, Tech

She started out helping tech work with Frank since she's too scared to act. But there was an accident that got Sally knocked out temporarily and she had to replace her. She was scared, but as the show goes on she actually enjoyed acting, even though she had to wrestle with Sally for the role throughout the show. But after that chaos, Sally has never been more excited to finally give Poppy acting roles on stage.

Frank Frankly:

Role: Head Tech, Stage Manager

Sally tricked him to join by saying their shows will give extra credit. He still sticks around anyway and became Sally's most reliable and sane member of the group. Although he is overworked and stressed out mostly due to the whole stage keep crumbling over. His temper was just as bad as Sally's and they can be seen arguing a lot (If it's not Sally and Barnaby, then it's Sally and Frank) But, he's proud to be the most reliable member of the group and also the voice of reason.

Wally Darling

Role: Actor, Prop Design

He knew from the beginning that Sally was manipulating him and he still lets her have her show, only if she lets him join. Wally just wants to be a lil shit and play pranks, sometimes with Barnaby too. He's not good at acting and people would see him as a spoiled brat because his adoptive dad owns the theatre 💅✨✨✨ But he grew to love this group he's in and would always ask Home to keep supporting it.

Eddie Dear

Role: Actor, Tech, and Prop Design

He is supposed to be only tech, but Sally needed more actors and forced him into it. The problem is that Eddie keeps forgetting his lines and cues. It would lead to the entire plot being derailed. He even spoiled the plot twist by doing his cue way too early. It's frustrating that it happens, but to his surprise no one yelled at him for forgetting, he didn't get fired for it too.

Howdy Pillar

Role: Actor, Tech

He is the best out of everyone here. It's not an opinion, Howdy is an amazing actor and singer, he's very helpful in backstage works, but he's always overshadowed by others that people barely notices his talents. The only person that actually noticed him is Wally but Howdy doesn't have a nice impression towards him for being spoiled. Other than that he stayed humble and everyone still considers him an important member of the group.

Julie Joyful

Role: Actress

The newest member of the group! She used to be famous with her sisters until Julie lost her status and got cancelled online (idk what she did yet). Sally took this as her chance to invite Julie to the group so that they can probably gain some fame for it. She started out as a high status mean girl, she's cold and cruel, takes acting in this terrible show way too seriously. Sally considers her to be her best actress. But then also, Julie slowly takes the mask off the longer she stays with them and she's just as zany as the others, the most unhinged out of all of them to be honest.

So idk if I'm going to do any more content with this AU, if people are interested I might draw more. Glad these see the light of day, they've been sitting in my google docs for months.

ANYWAYS Here's a few more doodles

Text: The set is created upside down & Sally's character is on her death bed

(It's also a redraw of a scene in the show that goes wrong)

old art ew

[shveris]

collage au with toji, sukuna and satoru living together and it’s surprisingly clean and well kept.

mention of emotional & physical abuse from family members and trauma

toji is the most messy out of the three but sukuna hates dirt so when he finds it he cleans it. satoru is a perfectionist who grew up in a tidy mansion so he always has the need and urge to keep his new environment just as clean — he feels very uncomfortable and restless otherwise.

they fuck around once in a while (yes, literal fucking) but it’s mainly because none of them have the actual mental to have proper relationships and despite satoru’s very extroverted behaviour, he actually hates touching people. he thinks they’re dirty, unsanitary, because he doesn’t know how they live and what their hands and clothes have been touching.

sukuna is clean though, he knows because he regularly buys those very expensive bodywashes and puts all their underwear into another cycle just after the first one is done.

toji is clean since he is kinda trained to adapt to his environment. he eventually even stops punching sukuna when he tries to put lotion on his very dry face after a scorching hot shower and he starts washing his hands when he comes home.

they don’t talk about how all of them have sex with each other at least twice a week — trice, if there’s exam stress — and usually the apartment is filled with bickering.

“six, you told me you’d send me that fucking report an hour ago.” satoru just stares at toji in his doorway and clicks his tongue because, yes, he completely forgot.

“have some fucking manners, dude”, he snaps back but sends him the report. they got thrown into this group project for three months with this emo named choso and a guy named ino, not that any of them gave a fuck. they were just laughing at sukuna because he was stuck with four women staring down at him.

there’re also regular outbursts of sukuna throwing items around — at satoru and toji as well — because he feels threatened. by what? they don’t know. they don’t ask. they just go with it and make a game out of it.

“if one of you hits my face i will actually chop your dicks off” is usually what satoru enters the living room with but when the tv remote slams into his jaw ten minutes later, he can’t help but laugh menacingly and throws himself onto the culprit elbow first.

their evenings are filled with study sessions (sukuna and satoru take their academics very serious and toji is just sitting there because he enjoys watching their facial expressions contort into frustrated confusion), playing video games, sex, uno that almost always ends up with sukuna and toji trying to kill each other, bad horror movies that make sukuna hungry, and some times they’re actually peacefully talking with each other until satoru falls asleep.

almost everyone on campus thinks they are dating and neither of them have an issue with that rumor (“it keeps the weird chicks away” sukuna had said and toji rolled his eyes). they don’t even act like couples, more like competitive boxers with too much testosterone (shoko’s words).

even with sukuna’s constant berates, insults and slurs, he loves cooking and always looks for a chance to brag about it to satoru.

“i bet your private chefs at home ain’t shit in comparison to me” or “the michelin chefs your parents are friends with can only wish to be at my level” or “this is my first time cooking this recipe and i fucking rocked it”

toji doesn’t mind at all, he loves all kinds of food, he’s the opposite of picky. whenever there’s something on satoru’s plate that he doesn’t like, he gives it to toji who will happily eat it for him.

sukuna even makes an effort to learn the recipes to his roommate’s favourite foods, perfects them in a few weeks. making mochi was probably way too much effort but he feels very proud whenever satoru brightens up upon eating the sweet treats. he’s glad toji is on the easier side of all this, the man loves chinese food a lot; dumplings, egg drop soup, lamb skewers and some simple noodle dishes.

toji doesn’t look like it but he enjoys the other two men’s company a lot. they never judge him for who he is, they never expect him to be a certain way, and not once did they ask why on some nights he comes home covered in blood. they just tell him to clean up properly and throw his clothes into the washer for three circles. they don’t ask him why he has that scar on his lips or nag him about that massive one that wraps around the left side of his body.

satoru is curious, his eyes speak volumes, but he never says nothing about it and just traces the tissue with his fingertips after sex. sukuna doesn’t even seem to acknowledge it at all, ignores it almost, but he always tells him to apply more lotion to it after scorching showers together.

grocery runs with them are always a complete mess; satoru only has eyes for sweets, toji grabs the next best instant ramen from the shelves, sukuna is constantly scolding them for not eating more healthy, says both of them would have vitamin deficiency if it weren’t for him.

he absolutely hates going out with them to the store but it’s necessary in a way. it’s a way of bonding, they get to buy everything they need once a week and then don’t have to go there for another seven days, and it makes cooking plans easier — and satoru is there to pay because he’s rich and the other two ain’t.

they also always end up buying a few packs of condoms and lube, much to the cashier’s horrors upon reading “extra large” and “strawberry flavoured”

sukuna and toji are rough, absolutely and utterly wild. satoru often calls sukuna an animal with no other instincts than to bite and breed and tear him inside out whereas toji just always knows how and when to abuse his prostate in the weirdest positions — satoru now has to stretch everyday to keep his limbs flexible.

when toji and sukuna fuck, the bedroom turns into a warzone. there’s bite and scratch marks everywhere on their bodies and when sukuna finally gives in and bottoms, neither of them actually make an effort to stretch him. never goes well. sukuna actually cries but he loves pain so it’s okay because satoru gives toji a really big scolding after and then both of them try to somewhat take care of him.

which also never goes well because all three of them never had good experiences with physical touch, nor do they know how to take care of someone else or themselves.

toji was barely holding himself together after graduation high school, having started some heavy drugs when he was sixteen and he never really grew out of it for years because of his fucked up family or his even more fucked up friends.

satoru was homeschooled, had no friends, didn’t know anyone his age — he had no concept of social life, of interpersonal relationships, pop culture. his face never showed any emotions because he just didn’t feel nothing, he felt hollow. nothing in his life brought him joy. his own mother barely paid any attention to him and when she did, there was nothing but hatred in her words.

sukuna grew up with a mother that had fun torturing him, may it be emotionally or physically. when he was younger, still an only child and his father too busy with work, she’s used him to press out her cigarettes, told him to stay still and then watched his face with great interest. there’s a long list of things that he had to endure and he hates remembering it.

they don’t know how they found each other.

i will deffo write more for this au bc i miss toji and satoru terribly

[thurio-edau]

SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS

sorry for the delay!

alright, gotta say... this one's a bit shorter. but the next will come like a train wreck i promise😇

Part 3: Ben Clark

oh the sweet old Ben... a kind and loving soul muted away. I'm thinking of inspecting his trauma and his general actions, and give him a diagnosis which I'm sure is canon even. I'm sure everyone who knows the disorder itself is aware that Ben is, in fact, suffering from PTSD.

let's start. first, what is PTSD?

PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a mental condition where someone feels what they have previously went through in a past traumatic experience. PTSD is frequently found with flashbacks to the moment, overwhelming feelings and sudden responses. there are two types of this disorder, PTSD and C-PTSD. but we'll look in the first one for now.

Ben has always been a really kind character. ever since the beginning. more of a 'gentle giant' type of character, though we never see him talk. he's soft, he loves to help his friends and never does anything vulgar around them, including the phantom dimension. he feels nice when he gets praised even if he doesn't show it too.

the first time we see him getting flashbacks and his anger issues being visible is when we first see Barron's behaviour towards Logan. anything that includes actual bullying gives him flashbacks and his response is his anger issues unleashing.

in his backstory, Ben is shown that he's more of a shy type of person, but he loves singing. because his tall and intimidating appereance doesn't match his softness, a group of dumbasses try to 'fix' him which he rejects. back when Shane strangled him, is what he gets flashbacks to. it was something that changed his entire life, he had a passion for singing but he never did with his damaged voice. god knows how many times he was hospitalized when he was going around to fights because of his outburst of rage.

yep, rage. I'd classify his anger issues as the 'rage' type with PTSD. PTSD rage makes more sense to me than just normal anger problems. I've seen and lived with many people with anger issues, but none of them are similar to rage. anger problems in general are usually verbal, if you don't make them mad to a point they're all bark and no bite. but of course after a point the violence behind the generic anger issues can unleash (see Tyler)

okay, back to Ben and rage. rage is an extreme condition of anger, the person gets violent and their thoughts are clouded with the rage which makes them not think before doing anything drastic. but he's not very closed off about it either, actually. the time where he accepted Aiden to do the storytelling was before the first half of season one, the gang wasn't even that close.

this means that he saw them as actual friends so early on. probably before everyone. Ashlyn took her sweet time accepting the friendship, I'm kind of sure that Aiden didn't at first (see Tyler, yet again), Tyler also definitely didn't (as said by Taylor in season two premiere) and I think Logan has attachment/trust issues but that's for later. the only other possible person that might accept the group fastly is Taylor but with Tyler's influence so close to her, there is also a chance she didn't at first.

Ben was fine with his friends knowing his past. he put his earphones on because he didn't want to hear about it, or else he knew he'd get flashbacks yet again. I'm thinking that it could be diagnosed too. Aiden knows that it's not just a memory, it's flashbacks to Ben and he covers for him whenever he sees something that might trigger Ben. after learning the situation, Taylor also does the same. they learn the severity of his problems and are all fine with helping him.

another thing I'm sure of is that he's extremely attached to his friends. we know that everyone is close-knit, but Ben specifically. he might not speak but that doesn't mean that he doesn't enjoy their time. he does, fully. which is I think why he/his room was... like that in the facility, without any spoilers.

to say, the gang is more than just friends to him; they're his found family, where he feels like he belongs. they don't judge him for his silence there. they understand his past. they're not scared of him just because of the way he was built and they're not going to be either.

but what about his family?

families are one of the most important part of a character and their backstory. the family is what decides how they will live, act and even feel sometimes. then what about Ben's? where were they during his backstory?

yeah. Ben's rage causes something terrible to happen.

but it ends better for everyone. Ben gets the therapy he needed, starts to live with Aiden, makes the gang his friends and it actually goes well.

his parents?

we meet Naomi and William during Lily's birthday.

yes, Mike, Lily is goshdarn adorable.

first, I think Naomi and William aren't to blame. I think they did the best they could; they tried to help Ben, tried to help him get therapy, sent him to Aiden's place to help himself. then why didn't Ben's story stop?

Ben couldn't control his rage until their house got destroyed and he realized just how far it got. he sneaked out of the house, a lot of people seem to not see that detail. and they seem to be very caring, too.

they're amazing as a whole family, to be honest. even the little Lily doesn't care about her birthday getting wrecked, because she wants to help Ben and his friends. she indirectly helped Tyler extremely well, since the sedative idea came from her in the first place.

Naomi was the first person who brought up the whole 'we-are-seeing-phantoms' discussion and William didn't hesitate to talk about it. Naomi was also the first person to notice the phantoms when the worlds collided for a mere second.

and Ben himself has shown completely zero negative behaviour towards them. and Lily gets treated like a princess -even if she accidentally neutered Ben-

side note here, that Lily also really loves the family too. the way she cuddled Aiden when he died and came back was so cute to be honest.

so I don't think the family is anywhere to blame either. it was Ben who was strangled, Ben who fought, and Ben who saw therapy. the reason why I'm talking about this is because a lot of people suddenly blame a character's family when there's a problem with them.

guys. people with caring, loving families can be traumatized too. just because someone has a happy family doesn't mean they're suddenly over any trauma they live. doesn't mean everything is suddenly okay. it means that they have an accepting place to go to, a safe space. and Ben's family? I think they're just like that. they desperately try to help. help their son, their nephew and their friends. hell, Lily trying to help also speaks volumes in my opinion. their father -dilf no.2 after Mike right here- William was the one who offered the idea to get the kids saved from the centipede phantom. and to be honest? it was pretty smart.

she also tried to prevent Emma from going mad because come on, Emma would absolutely wreck anyone if they dared blame Ashlyn for this. (still I think Jessica has to apologize for being to insensitive smh)

Naomi really seems like a sweetheart to me, I already said what to be said about William in a single very important side sentence and if there was any kind of in-family neglect Lily would also be affected. but she isn't so I think we're good? I adore the whole Ben family tho.

to wrap it all up.

Ben is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which makes him see flashbacks and turn into a rage mode each time he is triggered due to his backstory, being bullied because he's too soft. his rage causes a gang to destroy his home (HELLO?? ARE THERE NO FUNCTIONING COPS IN THIS STOR-- oh wait it's america yea there ain't nvm) and his parents try their best. move, get Ben to therapy and let Daniel's side help him by doing stuff he loves. Ben is still trying to recover, but his flashbacks are strong due to impacting his entire life from his voice and make it difficult.

(vocal chords repair by time actually, but he hasn't been speaking for like 4 years so maybe it'd need some voice exercises until it returns to normal?? if it's just vocal chords he'd be alright. imagine if he could talk and sing normally all this time but he just didn't know. it's something between "aww poor guy :((" and "lmao"

but I don't know about voice box, can someone enlighten me on vocal chord damage vs. voice box damage? thamks)

and Lily. Lily is a cinnamon roll. no other opinions allowed.

-i wanted to make a part for Ben and Taylor but i decided wasn't fit here :P-

[saturnniidae]

Autistic Astrid Hofferson.

She stims by tapping her fingers against the handle of her axe (she actually picked it up from Hiccup – he likes to tap his fingers against things) and takes comfort in the familiarity of the worn handle. (Pretty much a comfort item. I mean, she sleeps with it under her pillow, right?)

She likes running her hands over her skirt and finds the texture of the spikes pleasing, sensory wise.

She fists her hands in her hair and pulls at it or yells when she's overwhelmed, picks at her nails or fiddles with the end of her braid when she's anxious.

She spent so much of her life memorizing that unspoken social rulebook, trying to be the best (partially for her own ambitions, partially for validation), that until the turning point that was the start of her and Hiccup's friendship, she couldn't even comprehend allowing herself to openly behave in a way not considered 'normal' (which is part of why she lashed out so hard towards Hiccup during dragon training).

She's absolutely terrible at emotional regulation; if she feels anything she can't immediately understand and place the cause of, she defaults to anger and violence because those are familiar and in a way, safe. They're things she's been taught to feel for most of her life and she struggles to deviate from that.

Also, just generally she has a very low tolerance for irritating behavior and will immediately react to stop it with little thought to the possible casualties. (Read: she gets overwhelmed easily but has tried to train herself to power through it, which isn't healthy, and results in violent outbursts but she doesn't know how to stop)

She rigidly follows routines and her own set of rules and stubbornly refuses anything else unless she's actively proven to be wrong.

She hates sudden change (especially in the context of preset plans). As a warrior, she's of course had to learn to adapt to it, battle is unpredictable, but that doesn't stop it from being any less overwhelming or frustrating.

Special interest in combat and weapons, she likes watching Hiccup work in the smithy and bombards him with questions about the process of forging weapons. (they've spent hours talking, and once she actually understands what he's doing, she loves looking through his sketchbook and asking questions about his inventions, all of which he's happy to answer)

Stormfly grounds her, in a way. She's like an emotional anchor to Astrid, one of the only things able to help her calm down from suppressed meltdowns that manifest as overwhelming fits of rage. It's incredibly stressful for her whenever they're separated. Next to Hiccup, Stormfly is her best friend. (While of course not on the same level as Hiccup and Toothless, Astrid and Stormfly have a better understanding of each other than anyone else)

[elizabethwritesmen]

𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚜

chapter 4: with or without you

pairing: firefighter!steve x reader

summary: steve’s coma drags on and you drag on with it. you learn a lot, though, in his absence and get a glimpse into how he really feels about you.

warnings: completely inaccurate medical knowledge and descriptions (don’t come for me i’m not a doctor), pining, angst, idiots who can’t admit their feelings. smut to come. jealous and violent steve. (not violent towards you!)

a/n: eddie’s a mechanic for halloween, which is a little nod to @pinkrelish <3 love you and typ!! there SHOULD only be one more chapter but if it drags on there will be 2. i know for sure the next chapter WILL be a Christmas chapter! (:

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3

The next morning, I woke up bright and early and went straight to the hospital. My parents showed up soon after me, worry a mask on their faces.

“Y/N, sweetheart, are you okay?” My mom asked, fretting over me momentarily out of nervousness.

“I’m fine, Mom.”

“I know how much you love him, I’m just worried about you. He’ll be ok, he’s a strong boy!”

“I know,” I smiled politely, but she was more optimistic than I was.

“Honey, why don’t you let her breathe? She’s stressed enough already,” Dad stepped in, pulling Mom away. “How is Steve, anyway?”

“Stable. Still in a coma. That’s all I know,” I shrugged, “They’ve told me more than anyone else but I’m not family so there’s only so much they can share.”

“That’s ridiculous. Where is his actual family at?” Mom outbursted, “I bet they’re not even concerned. They couldn’t care less about their own son! God, I’ve been more of a mother to him than that dreadful woman!”

“I know,” I sighed, “I’m not happy about it either, but it is what it is.”

“Maybe I could have his dad call the hospital and tell them to treat us as his family in their absence?” Dad suggested.

“Not a bad idea, they could sign a release or something.”

So he pulled out his phone and dialed Mr Harrington up, getting him after a few rings. He walked out of the waiting room and into the hallway to talk to him and Mom sat beside me, stroking my hair.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” she asked me, “You’ve got that look in your eye.”

“What look?”

“The guilty look.”

“I don’t have a guilty look.”

“You’ve been my baby for decades, I think I know your looks. Spill!”

I sighed, “I saw Steve yesterday, before he got called into work and got hurt. He came to the music shop and brought me flowers, then took me out to eat. We went back to his house to hang out and, Mom, he has this huge picture of me on his dresser. Not me and him, just me. Like I’m his wife or something. I got overwhelmed when I saw it and I went off on him.”

“Why’d you go off on him for having a picture of you? I’d imagine that’s a good thing!”

“Because I’m sick of being lead on,” I shrugged, “Or at least I was. But now I’d let him lead me on forever if it meant he wakes up healthy and happy.”

Suddenly, a thoughtful look crossed her face. She bit her lip as if she was holding something back, and furrowed her brows.

“What is it?” I asked.

“You need to talk to your father about this.”

“Why?”

“Because he knows Steve better than you think, and I think he’d know exactly how to make you feel better about all this.”

“I will later,” I nodded, leaning back in my chair and waiting for Dad to get off the phone.

Only a few minutes later, he did exactly that, walking back into the room.

“They’re calling the hospital now and asking about faxing a release. Y/N should be informed of everything from now on.”

“Perfect!” Mom clapped, a small smile crossing her face.

“I’m gonna see if we can go in there with him.”

I walked to the nurse’s desk and asked, and she said yes, so I lead my parents into his room. He looked just as rough as the day before and my heart shattered a little bit.

“Oh,” my mom sighed, and I could tell her heart was breaking as well just looking at him. She and Dad really did care a lot for Steve. They always had. He was included in family trips, family photos, everything. They basically adopted him the second we became friends. I think at first they just felt bad for him, but it didn’t take long for pity to turn into love. He had that affect on everyone, everyone but his own family.

I sat in the chair by his bed, grabbing his fragile hand in my own and squeezing lightly.

“Hey Steve,” I quietly greeted, “I brought Mom and Dad to see you. I knew you’d want them here.”

My naive heart waited for a response, but of course, there was none. I could feel the pitiful eyes of my parents burning into my skull.

About an hour passed of them simply sitting with me. A couple other people dropped in, some of the firemen and Robin to be exact. Eddie was at work and wasn’t able to make it yet, but he had called me to see if everything was okay.

“You guys don’t have to stay here all day, I’m okay,” I told Mom and Dad.

“We’ll stay here until they make us leave.”

I smiled lightly at that, turning back to Steve. “You hear that? I think they like you more than they like me.”

“I’m gonna go get something to eat from the cafeteria,” mom got up suddenly, “but I think you two should talk.”

“About what?” Dad asked, but I knew.

She didn’t bother answering him, just shood him my way before making her exit.

“Tactful,” I scoffed, smoothing out Steve’s sheets and making sure he was covered up enough to be warm. If my dad noticed, he said nothing, watching in silence as I doted over the closest thing he had to a son.

“What’s going on, Y/N?” he asked.

“Well…. nothing, really, it’s just I feel a bit guilty because I went off on Steve yesterday before the accident. I yelled at him to stop leading me on and then I left even though he begged me to stay. I wouldn’t even let him get a word in.”

“I see,” he nodded in understanding, “And I heard from one of the firemen that he was on the way to the cabin when he got called in. Is that why?”

“Yes,” I nodded, “I mean, I’m assuming. I’m sure he wanted to make things right. Steve never could leave well enough alone.”

“Not when it comes to you, at least.”

“I can’t help thinking I messed things up for good. What if I never get to apologize?”

“You will, but you don’t have to. He forgave you before the words even came out of your mouth. He loves you that way.”

“I know, I know. I’m his best friend, he’d never hold anything against me.”

“No, Y/N, you don’t know,” Dad sighed, “Steve and I go golfing every month. It started as a way to cope with you being gone, both of us missed you and honestly I missed him. He’s like my own son and when you stopped being around, he stopped hanging around. We golf all day and then head to the house and your mom makes us a great spread of dinner.”

“I know that already, Dad. He told me.”

“What you don’t know is that the fifth or sixth time we golfed, he’d gotten real comfortable with me and started talking to me. He told me, ‘Mr. L/N, if Y/N ever comes back I swear I’m gonna marry her.’ I asked him what in the world he was on about and he told me that he knew you were the only woman he’d ever want the second he laid eyes on you at Scoops Ahoy. Nobody ever compared for him. None of those girls meant a quarter as much as you. Why do you think he hasn’t had a girlfriend all these years?”

“Are you saying Steve is in love with me?”

“Steve has been in love with you just as long as you’ve been in love with him.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me? I would’ve come home right then!”

“Because, sweetheart, you were chasing a dream bigger than me or Steve or anyone. You flew away and I didn’t know if you wanted to come back, you seemed happy where you were. I didn’t wanna burden you with things that would make you feel guilty. Besides, I promised him I wouldn’t tell.”

“But you just did.”

“I don’t think he’d mind,” he winked, “I’m gonna go meet your mom in the cafeteria. You say your piece. He can hear you, you know.”

I smiled lightly as he walked away, turning to my handsome, bandaged up boy the second he was gone.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me, Steve?” I implored, sadness overtaking me. “This could’ve been so different. I never would’ve left.”

My parents stayed the whole day, just as they said they would, and they came back every day to check in. They really were worried about him, and about me as well. I never left his side. I was there every day, all day. And nobody seemed to mind. They all just respected me for what I apparently was; the girl Steve was in love with. But was I, though? All those things my dad said, I believed them but a lot of time had passed since then, and a lot of anger and distance had built up. There was a chance he didn’t even feel that way anymore. There was a chance he didn’t even mean it when he said it.

Two days before Halloween, Robin asked me what I planned on doing. She told me she was set to go trick or treating with Eddie and Candy, and they both wanted me to tag along. Apparently it was a tradition for all of them, and then afterwards they’d leave her with Wayne and do whatever adult activities they could find.

“Oh, Robin, that’s sweet but isn’t that you guys’ thing? I don’t want to intrude,” I spoke into the receiver of my cell phone from Steve’s bedside.

“Y/N, shut up. You’re just as much a part of this group as any one of us. And Candy specifically asked for you. She said she thinks you’re nice.”

I sighed, “Okay. Fine. It’ll have to be after visiting hours, though, I can’t leave Steve here alone until I absolutely have to.”

“Great! We’ll all meet at Eddie’s after visiting hours and go from there, sound good?”

“Yeah, where does he live now again?”

“He has a trailer, not far from the cabin. I’ll send you the address. Oh, and you have to dress up. Participation rules!”

“Robin, I am not in a dress up mood,” I scoffed.

“Y/N,” she sighed, “Nobody wanted to talk to you about this because we didn’t want to make you feel worse than you already do, but everyone agrees that you need a distraction. Something to cheer you up.”

“Who is everyone?”

“Me, Eddie, your parents. Wayne. My parents. The other guys from the station. Everyone. Steve is in a coma, but you’re not. You’ve got to carry on living.”

“So you’ve all been talking about me?” I asked, “Robin, if this is about me not being at the music shop I-“

“It’s not,” she assured, “Don’t even worry about that. I told you, stay with Steve however long you need and come back when you’re ready. Your job will be there. I’m not hiring anyone else, even if you don’t come back until he wakes up.”

I sighed, “Fine. You’re right. I’ll dress up and try to have the best time I can.”

We hung up, and I couldn’t help but feel the faintest spark of excitement, followed by guilt. I desperately needed something, anything besides a stale coma ward room. The only company I’d had that whole month was the people who visited Steve, never surprised to find me there perched beside him.

I didn’t have a lot of time to throw a costume together, but I managed. I was quite proud of it, actually.

I changed in the en suite hospital room bathroom, looking myself over in the mirror, cringing at the awful fluorescent lighting. I still looked cute though, or at least I thought I did.

I walked out of the room and did a little spin for Steve’s lifeless form, pretending he could see me for the sake of it.

“How do I look?” I asked, then followed up with, “I’m gonna pretend you said I look great.” I giggled at myself and sat back down beside him, “Only about five minutes until they kick me out. I wish you could come with us tonight, it would be so much more fun with you. This is my first Halloween here in years! Remember the last one we spent together? Oh, it was so much fun. Much better than that year’s Christmas party. I still cant believe you punched that guy!” If he’d been awake, he would’ve laughed at that, and I would’ve loved the sound. “I dressed up as an angel again. You liked my costume so much that night, I just had to recreate it for you, even if you won’t see it. You always did like me best in white. If Robin was here, she’d say it’s because white makes you think about us getting married. I don’t know about that, though. But I know I like that look you give me when you see me in it.” I sighed at the dead air between us, giving his hand a tight squeeze, “I wish you were awake, talking back to me. I can’t make it much longer without you, Stevie. I miss you, so much it’s killing me. I wish I hadn’t screamed at you that day. I should’ve just been honest about how I feel instead of lashing out about it. I know that now, but it’s too late.”

“Y/N,” the nurse, an older woman I’d become quite familiar with, interrupted, “Finish up as quick as you can. Visiting hours are over.”

“Yes ma’am,” I smiled as she walked away. I turned back to Steve and left him with the words, “I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow” and a kiss on the forehead.

Once I got to Eddie’s, I was struck with a bolt of pride at what I saw. He didn’t live in a trailer park, he owned his own trailer on about two acres of land. It was a nice one, too. One of those remodeled units with nice painted shutters and clean vinyl. And beside it was a little shed, overflowing with Candy’s toys and such. I imagined it was supposed to be his before she overtook the space with her things and smiled.

He opened the door, a grim look on his face and his daughter crying in his arms.

“Oh goodness, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“All month she’s wanted to be a fairy. Now, the day of halloween right before we go trick or treating, she wants to be a princess. The costume store is closed, there’s nothing that’ll make her happy.” He sounded simply exhausted, and my heart squeezed with pity.

“Hold on,” I offered, running to my car and rifling through a bag in the backseat full of rejected costume items. In it was a golden tiara with pink jewels on it, cheap but cute and it matched what Candy was wearing. I brought it back and presented it to her with a, “Tada!”

Her little eyes widened, taking in what I handed her as Eddie helped put it on her head. “Thank you!” she squealed.

“You wanna take the wings off or leave them on and be a fairy princess?” I asked.

“Leave them on,” she smiled, “Why don’t you have wings? You’re an angel! We could match!”

“I was supposed to but they were itchy,” I cringed and she giggled, reaching out for my hand. She jumped out of her dad’s arms and dragged me into the living room.

“Come look at my bag!” she ordered sweetly, and I obliged, taking in the pumpkin shaped monstrosity with a smirk. 

“She’s showed me her bag ten times already, wonder how many times she’ll show it to you?” Robin chuckled, and I followed.

“It’s cute!” I assured.

We all piled into Eddie’s car, me in the back with Candy because she wanted to sit by me.

“How’s Steve?” Eddie asked on the way to whatever neighborhood we were going to.

“Same as he was a week ago,” I shrugged, casting my eyes down.

“Well same is better than worse, right?”

“I suppose so.”

Robin and Eddie exchanged a look, but then they dropped the subject as if they were silently agreeing it was better not to talk about it.

We arrived at a small park a few minutes later, parking next to a bunch of other cars and getting out. We looked silly, for sure. An angel, Jessie from Toy Story and what Eddie called a “sexy mechanic” but was really just him in blue coveralls and a wife beater, except the cover alls were tied around his waist. I suspected he pulled a couple random items from his closet and threw them together, but I had to admit, he looked nice. The short hair worked better for him than I would’ve ever thought, and while I missed his curls, he looked handsome and grown up. I was struck again with that bolt of pride for him and all he’d accomplished.

Candy wanted to stick beside me, so I held her hand as we walked from house to house. One house we came to was particularly nice, a sign out front that said “the Byers” in a nice cursive font. We knocked and, once the door opened, I gasped at who I saw.

There was Nancy, a baby in one arm and a bowl of candy in the other. The baby was cute, too.

Her eyes got a little wider when she saw me, “Y/N!” she exclaimed, “You’re the last person I expected to see tonight!”

“Hey Nance,” I grinned, “I know! I moved home a couple months ago!”

“That’s great! For good?”

“I think so, yeah,” I nodded. Things between Nancy and I had always been a bit awkward, granted I hadn’t talked to her in years or seen her. When she dated Steve, I tried to like her but she was always a bit cold towards me and then when she cheated on him I just gave up trying. Now, I didn’t know the dynamic, but it didn’t feel awkward at all. Just unfamiliar.

“Oh Steve must be thrilled about that. Does he know or did you get here after the accident?”

“No, he knows. I was with him that day, actually, until he got called into work.”

“Oh… Me and Jonathan went to the hospital to visit, but the nurse said a girl was there and I didn’t want to interrupt. That must’ve been you?”

“Yeah, I’ve been there every day. But you wouldn’t be interrupting anything! You should come by tomorrow, I think he’d like that!”

“Okay! We will!” she smiled, handing a chocolate bar to Candy. I couldn’t help but notice the flashy ring and band on her hand as she did so, and I grinned, happy they made it.

“That was weird,” Robin mumbled as we walked away.

“Not really,” I shrugged, “I figure it’s time we buried whatever hatchet there was. Guess we’ll see how it goes tomorrow.”

We hit a few more houses, and Candy got some really great stuff. Full sized bars, stuffed animals, all the fancy little treats. I was actually impressed. Finally, we reached the end of the street and she looked exhausted.

“Tired?” I asked her, giggling as she leaned into Eddie and almost fell over. She nodded, reaching up for him to pick her up but he was already carrying her bag and a separate bag full of extra stuff.

“Here, I’ll get you,” I sighed, and she nodded, reaching up to me instead and letting me carry her back to the car.

Once we were all settled in and on the way back to Eddie’s, we all breathed out a sigh of relief.

“I love doing this every year but I’m so glad it’s over,” Robin stated, and we all nodded in agreement.

“At least it passed faster than last year. Steve always wants to stop and talk to everyone he sees, it’s so exhausting,” Eddie chuckled.

“Yeah but I missed him, though. I wonder what he would’ve dressed up as?”

“Probably whatever Y/N told him to.”

I perked up at that, “I would’ve forced him to be a devil. Cause I’m an angel.”

“That would’ve been some freaky se-“

“Robin!” Eddie scolded, “Candy is in the back seat!”

“She’s sleeping, you nitwit. Obviously I would never say that if she could hear me.”

I looked over and, sure enough, she was dead to the world, her head reclined against her car seat.

We made a quick stop at Wayne’s, and Eddie gently carried Candy inside then returned to the car. “Where to now?” he asked us.

“24/7 liquor,” Robin perked up and suggested, eliciting smiles from both of us.

“Wanna get drunk in the hospital parking lot so Steve can kinda sorta be with us?” Eddie asked me, smirk on his face, and though the idea was admittedly flawed, I couldn’t help saying yes.

Eddie got a case of beer for himself, Robin bought a bottle of rum and I settled on two bottles of wine. I was positive none of us would drink all of what we had, but regardless, we were prepared.

Once we pulled into the parking lot, we all settled in comfortably, seats leaned back and limbs thrown wherever they fit. Surely there was some camera watching us and we’d get in some kind of trouble. None of us cared much. Eddie was a fireman, so he went hand in hand with the hospital and the law, and he had our backs. The whole fire station had our backs, really. They’d all grown a liking to me over the time I’d spent in that hospital room, visiting and talking with them like they were family or old friends.

I unscrewed the cap of my moscato and started with a big gulp, earning a giggle from Robin. “I know things are tough, Y/N, but they can’t be that bad.”

“I gotta drink double in Steve’s honor!” I exclaimed, taking another gulp. They followed suit, taking big swigs of their own.

“So. When the dingus pulls out of this coma, what happens?” Robin asked me suddenly.

“What do you mean?”

“Well you had that whole falling out with him and now he definitely knows beyond the shadow of a doubt how you feel, and I hope by now you know how he feels too.”

“I’m still not convinced he sees me that way, guys. A couple of cryptic comments does not a love story make.”

“Yeah, but it’s not just cryptic comments. He’s flat out told people how he feels and they tell you and you don’t believe them.”

“Maybe,” I shrugged, thinking it over, “I don’t know, I’m hoping he’ll get better and we’ll just forget all about it and pretend it never happened.”

“What if he does something crazy like propose marriage?” Eddie mused with a chuckle.

“Nah,” Robin shook her head, “Steve wouldn’t do that. Not right after getting out of a coma. My bet is they date for a year and he has us help him plan some extremely elaborate proposal and he’ll get me to help him pick the perfect ring.”

“Probably. What do you think the wedding would be like?”

“Guys!” I huffed, “I’m right here!”

“Well then tell us, what kind of wedding would you want?”

“Are we seriously talking about this?” I scoffed and they nodded, so I sighed and gave in. “I want a Christmas wedding with lots of red and green, lots of Christmas lights, a big beautiful tree. Christmas themed food and drinks. I want it to be like a winter wonderland.”

“I think Steve would like that. Then again you guys have never disagreed on anything.”

“That’s not true!” I half shouted, “We disagree all the time!”

“About what?”

“Well… about…. things!”

“What things?”

“Well I can’t think of them off the top of my head.”

“Sureeeeee,” they laughed as we all drank some more.

The night passed by entirely too quickly, but it was the most fun I’d had since Steve got hurt. I really appreciated being invited, and the fact that they’d been there for me in what was such a hard time.

The next morning, I showed up at the hospital bright and early, dressed comfy and warm. I looked a little worse for wear from the tiny hangover I was sporting, but it wasn’t bad at all. Just a little messy hair and dark circles under my eyes.

“Morning Steve,” I grinned as I sat beside him, grabbing his hand like always. I proceeded to tell him all the details of the night before, sparing none on the off chance that he could in fact hear me and wanted to know how Halloween went without him. “I’m probably gonna have to tell you all this again when you wake up, huh? Well it’s a good thing I never get tired of talking to you.”

“Y/N?” a voice called from behind me, and I turned to see Nancy, baby in her arms.

“Hey Nance,” I smiled.

“You look better than I expected. No hangover, huh?” she returned the polite gesture.

“No, not today. I’m surprised, I drank a lot!”

“I’m glad you all had a good time! A few years ago I would’ve offered to join the fun but those days are over for us.” She gazed sweetly at her baby and I couldn’t help but grin.

“Well, I think it’s great that you’re focusing on your family! I always knew you’d be a great mom. You just have that way about you.”

“Yeah, well, I hope so! It gets difficult sometimes and I feel like I don’t do enough but then he smiles at me and speaks his baby gibberish and the world fades.”

“He’s so cute,” I pouted just looking at his smooshy face, and she raised a brow at me.

“Wanna hold him?”

“I - I couldn’t,” I shrugged sheepishly.

“Believe me, you could. I hold him all the time, I love giving other people a turn!”

“Well… if you’re sure,” I reached out as she placed him securely in my arms. I melted instantly, rocking him gently back and forth. “He’s so perfect, Nance. I just adore him.”

“Just wait til you and Steve have one. It’s gonna be a whole different level of adoration.”

“Oh - me and Steve, we’re just friends,” I laughed her words off like they were nothing.

“You’ve both been saying that since high school and it’s not any more believable now than it was then.”

“You, you dated him in high school. Why would he date you or anyone else if he liked me?”

“Because he’s stupid. Believe me, he wished I was you. Why do you think I hated you so much?”

“I just assumed you didn’t like my personality.”

“Y/N, you’re like, the sweetest girl ever. Hating you was hard because you never gave me anything to work with. But I knew how he felt about you, so I couldn’t exactly like you either.”

“Well, I think you’re exaggerating. He loved me as a best friend. Or a sister, even.”

“Best friends and siblings don’t sneak off in the middle of the night to skinny dip together, you weirdo.”

I laughed at her bluntness, “I guess that’s true. But either way, your feelings for Jonathan are what broke you guys up. Not Steve’s feelings for me.”

“You’re right, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but you should know that when I started caring about Jonathan, I stopped disliking you. Mostly because I finally understood how Steve felt. How awful it can feel to be with the wrong person. But I acted on it, and Steve never did. I think that says a lot about the kind of man he is.”

“Well I never disliked you. Not even when you cheated on him. I mean, I wasn’t thrilled with you, but I didn’t like, curse your grandchild’s cow or anything.”

“You’re so weird,” she laughed, walking over to Steve’s bedside. “I hope it works out for the two of you, I’d love if you stayed. Maybe we could finally have a chance at being friends?”

“I’d like to be friends,” I nodded.

“I hardly get to have intelligent conversations these days, with Jonathan working all the time. Let alone girl talk!”

“I have Robin but sometimes girl talk is hard with her. She’s very… unconventional. In the nicest most loving possible way!”

“I know what you mean. All of my friends have kind of embraced the party girl life, and the few that settled down have more kids than I do so they’re always busy.”

“Well I’m always here. And I never do anything after visiting hours, so I could come over one night if you wanted and we could have a good old fashioned sleepover?”

“That would be perfect! Maybe you could bring Eddie’s daughter? I have a feeling she never gets girl time and I bet he’d love the break!”

“Oh, that would be fun. And she likes babies so she’d definitely keep him occupied.”

“How about next week sometime?”

“That works for me.”

We made some more small talk, and we even included Steve in some conversations, though he couldn’t respond. But then the baby got fussy and she had to go. The next week, though, we had a sleepover just as we had planned, watching silly movies and doing a makeover with Candy. And after that, Nancy and Jonathan were invited every time we hung out.

Another month passed and suddenly it was Thanksgiving. My parents tried to convince me to spend it at home and not the hospital, but I wouldn’t budge so instead they just moved their celebration to evening instead of day so that I could join in.

I hung out with Steve for the whole day, then headed to my parents’ house to see the entire family already there.

“Y/N!” They all exclaimed when I walked in, and I gave everyone a quick hug. It was nice to see them all, I just wasn’t in much of a people mood, so I immediately sat down on the couch when greetings were over and leaned back into the cushions.

“How’s Steve?” Mom asked me.

“He’s okay. Still the same.”

“Oh honey, he’ll wake up soon. I just know it!”

“Maybe,” I shrugged, resting my eyes and waiting for dinner to be served.

Finally, a few minutes later, everyone piled their plates high with food and settled into the living and dining room.

I was interrupted in the middle of eating, though, by my phone ringing. It was the hospital. I dropped my plate on the table abruptly and answered, “Hello?”

“Miss Y/L/N?”

“Yes!”

“I was just calling to let you know that Steve has just woken up. You’re welcome to come and see him, the doctors are in with him right now but we’re allowing you to visit when they’re done if you’d like.”

“I’ll be right there!”

I didn’t even hesitate, grabbing my things and heading for the door. “Steve is awake,” I rushed out an explanation to my expectant mother, “I have to go.”

“Well do you want us to come with you?” she asked.

“No, stay and enjoy the holiday! I don’t want everyone to have to go home early!”

“Okay, well… call and update us! Give him our love!”

I nodded with a quick smile and left, gunning it to the hospital.

I rushed up to the coma ward, and the second the nurse saw me, she smiled.

“I’ve been waiting for you! The doctors are almost done, you can sit in the waiting room while they finish up!”

I nodded, walking to the small waiting room and eagerly pacing back and forth. It felt like it took forever for the doctors to walk in the room, but when they finally did, I breathed a sigh of relief.

“What’s going on? Is he okay?”

“He’s doing remarkably well. The only issue is that he doesn’t seem to remember the day of the accident at all. He says the last thing he remembers is putting up your Halloween decorations.”

“Oh,” I furrowed my brows, “But thats normal, right? And not a bad thing?”

“Not bad at all, and completely normal. With the kind of trauma his body went through, it’s natural that his brain suppressed it. It could eventually come back, or it could stay in a vault forever. But regardless, you’re welcome to see him now for a few minutes. He’s perfectly healthy from what we can tell, but we’ll be keeping him for the next two weeks just to make sure he doesn’t fall back into the coma.”

“Of course. Thank you, doctor,” I grinned, racing past him and into Steve’s room.

“Stevia!” I squealed as his eyes landed on me. He gave me a smile, the million dollar kind, reaching his hand out for me.

“There’s my girl,” he sighed, voice as content as can be and his eyes settled on me like they never wanted to look at anything else.

“I can’t believe you’re awake!” I grinned from ear to ear, sitting in my regular spot beside his bed and grabbing his hand.

“I’m so glad to be. I didn’t know how much longer I could listen to you talk and not be able to answer.”

“You could hear me?”

“Vaguely. Like it was a dream, but I caught some of it I think.”

“Oh, that’s so good! That means I wasn’t talking for nothing!”

“The doctors told me you didn’t leave my side the whole time I was here. Is that true?”

My cheeks flushed red and I stared down at my lap, “Yeah, I suppose it is.”

“There’s nobody else I would’ve wanted here.”

I couldn’t help the giddy look on my face, “A lot of other people visited too, you know. The whole fire station rotated in and out. My parents came a lot, and Robin and Eddie. Even Nancy stopped by with her new baby.”

“Nancy, huh? How is the baby anyway?”

“He’s the cutest thing ever.”

“I bet he just loves you,” he smirked, giving my hand a slight squeeze.

“I think he does,” I shrugged.

“My parents didn’t come by?”

“No. I’m sorry, they didn’t wanna interrupt their vacation. They called the hospital and put me in charge of everything.”

He nodded, “I expected as much.”

“Let’s talk about happy things, you just woke up!” I sighed, “Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Happy Thanksgiving,” he responded, “Wait, it’s Thanksgiving?”

“Yeah, and my entire family sends their love. They wanted to come but I didn’t wanna overload you with people.”

“Well… I’m really glad I got to spend it with you. Our first Thanksgiving together in what, 7 years?”

“Yes,” I nodded, “but you did miss Halloween. It was a lot of fun but I wish you’d been there.”

“I wish I’d been there, too. I bet you looked good in your costume.”

“Oh, shut up,” I laughed.

“No, really. You gotta wear it for me one day so I can see what I missed out on.”

“Well, you always did like me in white,” I smirked, batting my eyelashes at him.

“Oh, it was white? Damn, I really did miss out.”

“I’ll put it on for you as soon as you get out of the hospital.”

“Or you could wear it here tomorrow?”

“Wear a halloween costume to the hospital? That’s silly!”

“But it’s what I want!”

“Ugh,” I groaned, “Fine, but you owe me!”

“We can just call it even since, you know, you left for seven years and all.”

“But I also completely ditched my life so I could sit by your bedside crying over your lifeless body for two months, so…. We’re already even. You still owe me!”

Just then, the nurse walked in with an abrupt knock, “I’m sorry Y/N, you gotta go. You can come in again tomorrow during visiting hours. We’ll update you if anything happens tonight.”

“Okay, I’ll just say goodbye and be gone in a second,” I politely stated, and she nodded, leaving us in privacy. “Guess I have to go for the night.”

“It’s okay, I’ll see you in the morning, right?”

“Of course. And you can always call me if you need to,” I gestured to the bag in a corner of the room. His phone and charger were in it, and I quickly retrieved them for him, plugging the device in.

“Thank you. I - I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what I did to deserve you staying with me this whole time.”

“Steve,” I stopped him while he was ahead, “I’m never leaving you again.”

He looked like he might cry, overwhelmed with emotions and the stress from the coma. I leaned down and kissed his forehead, as I had been every night, and left.

Senior Year Christmas

The music was loud, drowning out all rational thought. I heaved out a deep sigh, wondering again why I let Steve talk me into having a party at the cabin. “It’ll be so much fun!” He’d said, his words a clever guise.

Now, where was he? Off in a corner talking to some guys he knew, while I sat on the couch, bored out of my mind, sick from the smell of shitty booze. He’d spent most of the night with me, as he always does, but I sent him away. After all the party was his idea, and I didn’t want to ruin it for him just because I wasn’t in a social mood.

“What’s got you so down, Y/L/N?” Danny Bolen, a boy from my grade, asked me, planting himself on the couch beside me. Danny was nice, the kind of guy who lent me pencils and complimented me in the school hallway.

“Just dreading cleaning all this up,” I shrugged, clinking my solo cup to his and taking a big swig.

“Harrington is gonna help, huh? And that band girl you always hang out with? And maybe that Munson kid too? I always see you around him.”

“Yes, of course, but they’re all drinking more than me, so..”

“Well I’d be more than happy to stay and help, too, if you’ll let me.”

I glanced at him to see only sincerity in his face, and I smiled, “That’s really sweet, Danny, but you don’t have to do that.”

“Nonsense, I want to. Especially if it’ll get you in a better mood, this is your party after all! Now what do you say we get you a fresh drink and try to have a good time?”

I nodded slowly, letting him grab my hand and hoist me off the couch. He walked with me to the kitchen and, once in the doorway, the people around us started to whoop.

“It’s mistletoe!” a girl yelled out, and I looked up to see that it was, in fact, mistletoe. I let out a sigh, glancing at Danny, and he looked just as awkward as I did.

“Who even put that there?” I asked him with a small giggle, and he shrugged. My mind drifted to Steve, wondering if he was witnessing the spectacle. I didn’t see him in the group crowded around us. “We don’t have to kiss, it’s just a silly tradition.”

“Yes you do! You HAVE to, those are the rules!” a random guy said, and I rolled my eyes.

“I’m fine with it if you are,” Danny said, low enough for only me to hear. After glancing at the eager people around us, I gave a curt nod.

He leaned in, and his lips touched mine just long enough for me to know it didn’t feel right, but I didn’t have to suffer it for long. There Steve was, pushing us apart, ripping down the mistletoe and throwing it in the trash.

“What’s your problem, dude?” Danny furrowed his brows and angrily asked Steve.

“No problem, it’s just a dumb tradition. I don’t think Y/N should have to kiss someone just because of a plant.”

“Is that it? Or do you just wish you’d been the one under it with her?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I just… I want her to make her own decisions.”

“Steve,” I interjected with a hand on his arm. He turned to me sharply, expectantly. “I did make the decision. I told him it was okay.”

“You what?” he spat, “So what, you’re just kissing everybody now? Did Eddie get a turn? Bobby?” He turned to the closest guy to us, “What about you? Did you get a turn?”

“Steve!” I hissed, “Stop!”

“Seriously, man, just back off,” Danny spoke up, stepping between me and him.

“Oh, what a hero,” Steve rolled his eyes, shrugging off my arm, “The party is over, go home.”

“The party is over when she says it’s over,” Danny challenged.

“Danny, stop. Just go. All of you, please. Everybody.”

People filed out in droves at that, Danny lingering until the place was nearly clear and pulling me gently to the side.

“Are you okay here with him?” he asked me, nodding his head at Steve who was glaring intently in his direction.

“I am. He’s just angry for some reason, he’ll calm down when I talk to him.”

“I think I should stay here, you shouldn’t be alone.”

“I’m not alone.”

“Just in case he tries something, I-“

“Hold up,” I scoffed, “What are you trying to imply? I told you he’s just angry, he would never do anything to hurt me.”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t trust it. He’s not a good guy Y/N. I know you’re close or whatever but, listen, I’ve liked you for a long time and if you’d just realize he’s a piece of shit you’d see I could be so much better.”

“Get the fuck out of my cabin,” I growled, taking a step back.

“I’m just trying to-“

“I know exactly what the fuck you’re trying to do, you’re trying to weasel your way into my pants by being a hero. Well I don’t need a hero, I’m perfectly safe here with Steve and you can go the fuck home,” I went off. He looked taken aback for a moment before it turned to anger and he aggressively grabbed my arm, pulling me into him.

“I’ve been nothing but nice to you and you’re going to treat me like this? Do you even realize how much better I could do than you?”

“Let me go!” I squealed, trying to shake off his hold but failing. Steve once again interrupted us, though, pushing Danny roughly off of me.

“She said go the fuck home. Do I have to make you or are you gonna do it on your own like a big boy?”

“Fine, fuck this. She’s not pretty enough for me to care.”

He tried to storm out, but Steve grabbed him by the arm and yanked him hard, forcing him to turn around. Once they were face to face, Steve landed a hard right hook on the shorter boy’s jaw.

Danny grabbed the side of his face roughly, spitting out blood and glaring as he left. Steve turned to me, giving me a once over, eyes landing on my very red arm.

“He grabbed you that hard?” he asked, voice soft and sweet just for me, “Let me see.”

I pulled roughly out of his reach, “You need to go home too, Steve.”

“What?”

“It was your idea to have this stupid party and you ruined it! Why? I don’t understand what the big deal about me kissing him was!”

“I just-“

“Don’t even! You slut shamed me, too. YOU slut shamed ME! You have girl after girl falling at your feet and I haven’t dated anyone, not one single person, since the day I met you but you’re slut shaming me like I go around kissing ever man I see? Fuck you! Leave, now!”

“Y/N, please,” he huffed, hand resolutely on his hip.

“Steve, you made a scene. You embarrassed yourself and you embarrassed me by acting like a complete idiot. Thank you for getting him off of me but I don’t want you here.”

Our screaming match ended there, as he sadly cast his eyes downward.

“I’m sorry, I just… I just wanted to help,” he sighed, “I’ll see you later.”

As he walked outside, I was hit with a pang of guilt. I turned to Eddie and Robin and they both had shocked looks on their faces.

“I’m doing the right thing, making him go, right?”

They shrugged and I groaned, my head falling back. I knew I couldn’t go through with it.

I ran outside, just as Steve was climbing into his car. I was surprised to see it was raining, somehow I hadn’t noticed. I suppose I’d been distracted.

“Steve!” I screamed over the storm. He turned to me, expectant. “Come back!”

He did as I asked, “You changed your mind?” he inquired as he approached me.

“I know it’s bad at home. I’m not sending you back there. Not tonight.”

“I can go. I know you want me to.”

“No, I really don’t, I just want to know why you acted that way.”

“I don’t know why,” he shrugged, cupping my face in his hands and I shoved him off again.

“That’s bullshit, Steve,” I scoffed.

“I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know what came over me. I just got so angry when he kissed you, I don’t know why. I shouldn’t have said what I said. I don’t know what’s going on with me.”

“Well you need to figure it the fuck out because I don’t want this complicated mess. And if you can’t, I’ll leave.”

“What?”

“I’ve applied to a lot of colleges, Steve. Not all of them are close. I have my pick of them, too.”

His jaw hung open for a moment before complete melancholy overtook him, all the light draining from him. “Please,” he whimpered, “Don’t leave me. I promise I won’t ever act like that again. I swear, I’ll be better, I’ll do better for you. Please don’t leave me.”

He pulled me into a crushing hug and I sighed, giving into him like I always did. He was shaking against me, his clothes soaked and I was sure mine were too. He seemed so close to breaking down, terrified I would really leave him. Terrified to be without me. Despite it all, there was nothing better than his warmth wrapped around me.

“I’m not going anywhere, Steve.”

He held me for a while longer before pulling away slightly, “You’re freezing,” he commented, “Let’s go inside and get you some warm clothes.”

I nodded, following him back into the cabin and into my heart.