#trauma aftermath

[furiousgoldfish]

Which one of these are you vulnerable to?

(vulnerable as in, if it happens, you spiral into dark thoughts and you go to great lengths to avoid these)

Asking for help and getting rejected

Asking for help and being put in more danger

Having a friend lose interest in talking to you

Having a friend end the friendship because of something you did

Having a friend act toxic and abusive to you, because they want to end the friendship but don't want to be the one to call it

Having a friendship/relationship you didn't realize was one-sided until it abruptly ended

Confessing your crush and getting rejected

Confessing your crush and having them act disgusted

Having someone pretend to like you back, but they only want to keep you around because they like your attention, and you find out months later

Being discarded after you've invested a lot of energy and care into someone

Being ignored and treated as invisible by someone

Being ignored, treated invisible and judged by a group of people

Being criticized after you put a lot of energy into something

Being put down and told that you can't do anything right, after you put a lot of energy into something

Being yelled at for making a mistake

Being yelled at for getting hurt on accident

Being yelled at for hurting someone

Your friend not siding with you in an event of abuse, bullying or injustice

Your friend arguing that it's unfair of you to want them to take sides

Gathering courage to open up about abuse only for the listener to instinctively defend abusers, and put you down

Opening up about about only to have it downplayed and dismissed

Opening up about abuse and having the other person pass judgment on you

Other people acting like you're poison, dangerous, infectious and malicious

Other people acting like you're stupid, and don't understand your own life and situation

Other people acting like they would have no trouble in your place

Being perceived as a burden and a problem for everyone else

Being in a group where you feel like you're the only one who doesn't belong

Getting outcasted from a group because someone in there who hurt you made up rumors about you that everyone believed

[angelbvn]

REMEMBER PARENTS

THAT CHILDREN CAN BE QUITE FRAGILE

IN THEIR EARLY STAGES OF LIFE

THEY CAN

AND WILL

❌ REMEMBER EVERYTHING ❌

[laikacore]

terrified of a connection, terrified of care

i can’t get too close, you can’t like me that much

i am joyous and overflowing and a far away creature

i am out of reach, i do not pick up the phone

if i slow down i’ll fall and i know what follows

if i let you hold my lead i know what follows

i’ll laugh at your jokes, yes, i’ll hold a smile

i’ll come running, yes, i’ll be your dog

but don’t get thinking i’ll let you hold me close

i am a mouthful of teeth, whether i like it or not

i accept this with no dignity left in me

terrified of a connection, terrified of care

i don’t think you’ll stay but i won’t go anywhere

trained into it by laika wallace

[welcome-to-the-agender-agenda]

When you dream of being surprised with a loving hug from the back but in reality you're traumatised and that would bring back flashbacks not worth mentioning....

[xforeveralonerxx]

How do people fall in love after experiencing trauma? I'm genuinely curious.

I've been through too much and I'm working on myself to believe that I deserve love and to be loved.

Though, the fear that someone might hurt me again after all that I've been through. After dropping my walls and letting them in. After working so hard to heal myself which was and still is rough. It's terrifying.

How do you get over that feeling of impending doom? That feeling that is constantly telling you to stop anything that might give you joy because of the many possible dangers it could lead to. Most annoyingly, the nagging voice in your head that is so sure that everything will go downhill if you choose that path.

[lifeonkylesfarm]

Trauma made me angry. Trauma made me so depressed and suicidal that I'm lucky to be here. Trauma made me so afraid that I can't count how many times my body has shaken so violently I couldn't stand. Trauma made me so hateful and distrustful that I couldn't even see my friends as allies, because everyone was a threat to me. Trauma made me black out for hours at a time. Trauma ruins my sleep every night with the nightmares it gives me. Trauma made me not only mentally sick but physically sick, with even more chronic illness than I already had. Trauma ruined my life.

I calmed myself down. I kept myself alive. I take the fear and squash it in my palm like it is only an ant, every day, as best I can. I helped myself take chances and make relationships again. I brought myself back into reality and helped myself remember. I ground myself after every nightmare just so I can get out of bed and try to feel like a person. I march through the illness, holding myself up as best I can. I saved my life.

If you want to think your trauma happened for a reason, then, by all means, go ahead, but don't anyone dare try and tell me anything like that about mine.

It never should have happened to me, and it did not strengthen me. It made me weak. I made me strong.

If you hate hearing “everything happens for a reason”, that’s really valid. And I’m here to say that some things are fucked up and should never happen. You didn’t deserve it. It should have never happened to you.

[papastrawbeary]

CW concept of panic attacks, ptsd, and violence

Huevember 7- Red

Aenon is haunted by his past traumas and aggressions. Is he deserving of being a priest?

[threecutsproblem]

[EN]

I didn't have a childhood and yet I have this feeling that I can't grow up.

That doesn't make sense. I feel like I'm stuck in some kind of grey area. A sort of fog, a place that doesn't exist.

[FR]

J'ai pas eu d'enfance et pourtant j'ai cette impression/sensation/je-sais-pas-quoi de ne pas réussir à grandir.

Ça n'a aucun sens. J'ai l'impression d'être bloqué dans une zone grise. Une sorte de brouillard, une zone qui n'existe pas.

[fanfictasia]

Candlelight Chapter 3 - The Jedi Council, a star wars fanfic | FanFiction

Candlelight - Chapter 3 - The Jedi Council - Wattpad

[melblogsgfreethruptsd]

[furiousgoldfish]

I know scientifically, and reasonably, that isolation is a form of torture, but it's so hard to conceptualize it when it's so familiar and I've reached for it over and over again as a form of relief from the torture. Why am I longing for what others consider intolerable.

[angelbvn]

sometimes it feels like if i’m not constantly proving myself i’m not important and useless

[crazy-ache]

I think often about how in ACOTAR Book 1, Lucien Vanserra was ready to lay down his life for this human girl, Feyre Archeron. Again and again, he stuck his neck out there for her Under the Mountain and throughout the trials. While I do think it is a reflection of his loyalty to friends, his courage against the evil of Amarantha, and his honor for doing what is right…

I also think it was because of Tamlin. Because Lucien didn’t want the one friend who took him in after his darkest day—who helped save him from his family’s wrath and gave him a Court and a home—to watch the girl he loved be butchered cruelly because of who she was in relation to those in power. He didn’t want Tamlin to experience what he did with Jesminda.

The lesser fae and the mortal girl. Everything he did was for them.

For his friend with the stone heart to not break, just as his once did.

[whumporama]

A trope I love is the moment Caretaker just goes 'Damn it'

That moment Whumpee says/does something that makes Caretaker realize just how fucked up Whumpee's life has been. Maybe they tried to hate Whumpee, maybe Whumpee was their enemy, and now they have to realize Whumpee isn't just an evil, soulless killer. But instead, someone who has been hurt just as much as they were.

Just that moment, maybe Whumpee is confused by a normal concept, doesn't know what something is, because they've never had it. Maybe they say something about their own body, that's 'normal' (hint: it's not. It's really not).

("Do you need a painkiller?"

"A what?")

And they know Whumpee isn't trying to manipulate them. They're just... confused. This is normal to them.

And just... damn it.

What did they do to you?

[foundfamilywhump]

after the whump has ended, either an individual event or ongoing captivity or abuse, the whumpee is carrying a lot of damage. there’s physical damage of course but there’s also the trauma that’s taken away their sense of safety around other people. in their own body.

and they decide they want it back. they’ve found some kind of solid ground with barriers up, and the people who have been helping them recover are careful to respect those boundaries, but whumpee wants to try something different now. they want to try and get something back, at least one thing: the safe, comforting touch that whumper stole from them.

so they start trying to replace the traumatic associations with better ones, asking for caretaker(s) to help (either verbally or by silently, embarrassed, guiding caretaker’s hands to places they had earlier made clear they didn’t want to be touched).

and they start working to dull the traumatic associations with better ones. strong, protective hands cupping the back of their neck where whumper had choked them. gentle fingers stroking hair that whumper had yanked repeatedly. a firm, comforting touch rubbing their back, now scarred from a whip. holding the hand whumper broke. massaging shoulders that carry lingering pain from being kept in stress positions. an arm draped around them keeping them close after they’d been manhandled and physically forced where whumper wanted them to go or stay. sometimes they have to stop abruptly, get space to breathe rapidly and wait for their heart to slow, but it stops when they need it to. caretaker backs off, lets go. and it helps. slowly, it helps.

[mokulule]

Trauma Tuesday

This week in Trauma Tuesday I figured why not give Jason some dissection trauma for a change. So warning for that.

DP x DC, dead on main

Next to his parents a man’s body laid on a steel table, chest cut open, ribs broken and sticking up. Everything was glistening red.

“His heart’s not beating,” Nightwing said faintly in horror as they all realized they were too late.

“What have you done!” Danny exclaimed in despair. “Why? He’s human!”

There were lines. Lines he’d hoped his parents wouldn’t cross. Liminal or not, somehow Danny hadn’t expected they’d kill him. Experiment yes, but cut him open so he bled out?

“He’s no more human than you!” His mother snarled.

And that had Danny’s head snapping to the body. Could it be?

He zipped over and pushed his parents away with a shield, instantly they started shooting at him and his shield. He willed it to hold against the ectopowered blasts. Then focused on the body.

If he was no more human than Danny, that would mean- a tiny wisp of cold air escaped his lips as he found it, his core. Small and malnourished and somehow running on the worst ectoplasmic slough-off he’d ever seen; it was fucking beautiful.

“Hey,” he whispered reaching in intangibly cradling his hands around it where it was inside the heart itself. A consciousness shifted inside and Danny felt a wave of relief and he choked on a laugh or a sob, he wasn’t sure.

“He’s alive,” he shouted over the blasts against his shield.

“His heart’s not beating! Even if you could start it-“ Nightwing didn’t have to continue; they could all see what had been done.

But they didn’t understand.

“He’s not gone,” Danny snarled, “Deal with them.” He tossed his head towards his parents. “And I will deal with this.”

He had a core. He wasn’t just liminal. He was like Danny; that was why they’d cut him open.

-

Jason felt floaty, cradled safely in a way that was hard to explain. Distantly in his chest there was pain. It made no sense what was going on?

There was a flash of relief and then a soothing hum met the question, and an echoey voice spoke:

“Try to relax, you’re very bad off.”

Bad off? What had happened?

A shudder of grief ran over him, was the voice crying?

“I’m so, so sorry, they hurt you because you’re like me.”

There was more to the story, a complicated knot of feelings: grief and disappointment, loss, betrayal.

“But look at you, you’re so amazing.” There was a wave of pride and love, large and encompassing and Jason had no clue what to do with it. He felt- he didn’t know how to describe it: Full? Bursting? Like he was about to cry. What had he done to warrant that?

Why? Why would you?

“You are of mine, and that in itself is enough. But you are even like me.” There was a sense of wonder and longing, tickling at the edges of his awareness.

“You are so resilient, somehow you’ve managed to survive even crippled by poisoned ectoplasm.”

He got the distinct impression of a feral smile.

“Let’s see what your core can do with the good stuff.”

It felt like a shock to his chest. A jumpstart and suddenly he felt it. The ball of energy that was him, his essence, his core, and the steady stream of energy being poured in. He was more his core than he was his body.

His body, which he knew wasn’t supposed to be like this, cut open, bleeding, dying. But his body was human and human bodies required so much more than just energy to heal, how was he-

“Don’t worry. Trust, Jason. I’m giving you the energy, just trust your core to know what’s right.”

A frisson of worry shot through him.

What about you?

He felt another smile, and beneath that more affection. Somehow, despite not quite feeling the pain from his gaping chest he could feel fingers tenderly running through his hair.

“It won’t hurt me, I’m also quite resilient.”

-

So as implied here there’s a reveal gone bad in the past between Danny and his parents. They now work for the GIW.

The rest of the story you’ll find out later, there’s probably some other bits here and there that would be good for Trauma Tuesday.