#need a guy
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Just some Tuesday thoughts...
I've had the pleasure of getting to know a lot of great people via the internet these past few years. Sites like Tumblr, Fet Life, Double List, etc. have connected me with some pretty neat individuals.
But what spurred this little write up is the life cycle of those relationships. When you meet someone on a sex based website (or run a sex based blog) you see a lot of faces come and go. So many of us are on the hunt for something so specific. Some want a "one and done" situation... while others (like myself) want a drawn out scenario (call it dating, call it a FWB, call it what you call it).
I hate the part of the life cycle when I notice the change - the inevitable moment when a potential candidate has lost interest. Long essays and paragraphs turn into two sentence interactions (if that). Friendly/flirtatious conversation turns into a slightly degrative or judgmental interaction. In other words, someone shows their true colors.
I wrote a story over a year ago -
https://hotdamnmadison.tumblr.com/post/698363090093375488/and-ashley
It details a fictional, mostly toxic yet romantic interaction I might've had with a real person - if they hadn't experienced the change. (FYI the toxicity wasn't fictional, the romance sure was though.)
A character starts so eager and responsive - he knows that he has one shot at making a first impression with me. And then slowly but surely his excitement, his effort, and his desire all disintegrate in the matter of a couple weeks.
It is this part of the life cycle that I start giving up. I know the ship has sailed. I haven't changed anything on my end, so the issue is on the other side. And the moment I start to notice the change I tend to back away slowly. I'm not trying to get hurt again.
What causes this? Why is it most of the online relationships deteriorate? Is it the "cum and done" bullshit I've already written about?
Or did someone's wife catch them in the act? Or did I simply not give them my flesh soon enough?
Regardless, it stings so fucking bad when you think you've found someone who is different, only for them to turn out EXACTLY like everyone else.
I'm finally getting to my point. I'm tired of "online dating" and hookups. People aren't consistent enough for me and I don't know why they change. Maybe it is me, and I just can't see it for myself. I wish people would just come out and be honest up front....
"I don't want to date, I want to fuck... here is a pic if you're interested."
That person might not be my thing, per say, but at least we didn't waste two months while they lied to me about romance and dating.
Maybe I'm the only one dealing with this. Idk. It's aggravating and I'm tired of having the same convos over and over again - just to be let down at the end of it all.
#need a consistent lover#need a guy#need a boytoy#need an honest person#femboy#cute crossdreser#gender fluid#hotdamnmadison
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Guys I'm so glad everyone loves hit JRWI campaign: The Suckening so much. 12 thousand notes on just a thumbnail that's so cool. Anyone think about emizel pussy-out post revival
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP#sorry. guy who lives in new york voice i need people on tiktok to get less annoying#1k#2k#3k#4k#5k#10k#20k#30k#lord kill us all its at thirty thousand notes...#40k#50k#60k
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I'm convinced Mythbusters needs a reboot. Misinformation or mythinformation if you will, is at an all time high. We NEED the show that promotes critical thinking to come back. It doesn't need the same cast, in fact I think it would be better with some fresh faces. Imagine all the good it would do if you could just show your crazy uncle the Mythbusters reboot episode that debunks his anti-vaxx conspiracy in an easily digestible and entertaining format.
#mythbusters#truth#inspiring#trans rights#television#tv#tv show#reboot#guys who do i need to talk to to make this happen?
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Please note. The orange one is not included because A. He isn’t a billionaire. And B. Calling him obnoxious is too kind for him.
#billionaire#rich people#Elon would just be insufferable#just the worst case of “needs to be the smartest kid in the room syndrome ever#I feel Zuckerberg has actually worked on himself a lot lately and he would be reasonably chill to hang out with#still evil#but he doesn’t come across as insecure alien anymore#bezos also seems like he’d actually be a cool guy to hang out with#again. still super evil#but I think I could survive a few hours stuck with him without bludgeoning myself to death
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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"If voting changed anything they wouldn't let people do it-" grabs your face THEY DIDN'T JUST "LET" PEOPLE DO IT, MOST PEOPLE COULDN'T VOTE FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. PEOPLE OF COLOR ONLY GOT THE FULL RIGHT TO VOTE 50 YEARS AGO IN THE US, THATS BARELY A GENERATION.
IF IT DIDNT MATTER AT ALL WHY WOULD THEY SPEND SO MUCH TIME GERRYMANDERING THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYWHERE?? WHY CAN'T FELONS VOTE?? WHY CANT PUERTO RICO VOTE? WHY DO THEY KEEP SWITCHING DATES AND LAWS AND TIMES AND WHATEVER THEY POSSIBLY CAN TO STOP PEOPLE FROM VOTING?? WHY DO THEY MAKE EFFORT AT ALL??
BEING DISILLUSIONED IS A REASONABLE RESPONSE. BUT PEOPLE FOUGHT AND DIED AND ARE STILL FUCKING DYING FOR THAT RIGHT, DONT SPIT IN THEIR FACE.
#god i hate seeing that fucking pop up#YES the system is fucked YES we need revolution or reform to the point of it being unrecognizable#but we dont HAVE THAT right now#but DONT COME IN AND TAKE WHAT WE DO HAVE FOR GRANTED IT WAS WRITTEN IN BLOOD#IM SO SICK OF THIS LIKE GUYS...WHY WOULD THEY MAKE THIS MUCH EFFORT...WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED POST CIVIL WAR??#voting#elections
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Human Bill Cipher
(Based on Alex Hirsch's "canon" design)
And just to be clear, writing dissertations at me justifying why he should instead be a conventionally attractive twink will involuntarily cause me to draw him with even fewer teeth.
#And also: i know#i know the mayor of halloween town. I know guys.#twink death dilf birth#bill cipher#gravity falls#boy oh boy im anxious about posting this here please be nice to me#“the design deoesnt fit the voice” ?? idk man like. what if it did though.#you can draw him! i dont mind#no need to ask (:
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when i was a kid i wanted to be a famous youtuber like dan and phil so that people would gay ship me with my irl best friend and we would be sooo weirded out by it and laugh and make videos joking about it but secretly it would make her realize her repressed gay crush on me and i'd help her through her gay crisis and then we would have a sickeningly sweet sappy romance and read fanfiction about ourselves together... anyways just found out she's married to a guy in the mafia now so i probably don't have a chance
#dan and phil fanfiction changed me#come into my lady door#and teen me saw that and went “i need to be that so fuckan bad”#i wanted to be dan but now that im a mature adult i understand that phil is better. phil guy 5ever nowadays#do i tag this as dan and phil. i still dont know tumblr site tagging norms and im like a year in now#dan and phil#dnp#phan
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consider this… au where Queenie is alive… and the circus is some dumb vrchat thing 💥 🤯 …
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc pomni#tadc kinger#tadc queenie#I’ve been crying over kinger for like 3 days HEEEEELP#I need to see that guy having a good time now
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post-graduation trip airport looks
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jujutsu kaisen fanart#these took ages but fr once i am choosing to forgive myself given th fact tht i was coming out of A State when i drew them#im normal now dw drawing the first years wearing merch of my comfort content fixed me#when in doubt play dress up. life hack#i am holding fast 2 my hc tht megumi is a fiend @ indie platformers and is a household name on the celeste speedrun leaderboards#argue with a wall this is my jujutsu kaisen#megumi designated Drink Runner also#alr in line at a cafe texts their gc 'what do you guys want' n gets mad @ nobara fr making him go to a Second shop 2 get her bubble tea#anyway theres not much 2 say abt these just bc i needed sth Light n Easy 2 get me out of my head#no lore to fashion pieces which is both a blessing and a curse but it Is what i needed#nobara serving looks fr a flight i love u so much. it's probably 8 in the morning n she is in a fully coordinated fit#its so criminal tht we don't have more alt hairstyle official art fr her???? iirc it's Just the lost in paradise mv with her in buns no????#robbed. i am fixing it immediately.#wonder where the 3 of them wld go on a trip
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lets get groceries
#fursona#i raelly wanted to draw my guy in this jacket. now i just need it irl#furry#anthro#furry art
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I need more of Astarion being an absolute undead fucking weirdo. No more suave charming elf man NO this man forgets to breathe for prolonged periods of time and randomly gasps or croaks because he can't speak without air in his lungs. He lurks in dark corners with weird reflective eyes and doesn't move until you notice him. He's SUPER into the scent of his lover and buries his face in their neck or chest while taking in a BIG snorf. He gets very affectionate when he notices his partner is on their period or is bleeding from other causes. He doesn't make noise when approaching someone and often scares the shit out of them because he just silently shows up behind them. He's addicted to the warmth of his partner and rubs his body against them like a cat. He makes animalistic grunts and moans while he feeds. He forgets to blink and just stares at people with wide eyes while they talk. He stares at his lovers pulse point instead of looking in their eyes. He growls when displeased. Sometimes he smiles just a tad too wide. He watches his lover sleep and waits for them to wake up for them to find him just staring them down, unblinking. He's a fucking freak and I love him to bits I need more weirdo Astarion.
#please#he's a strange lil guy#I need more astarion weird vampire man moments#yes I know I'm basically describing a cat#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#bg3#bg3 astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion#freakstarion
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[Ready for a new game?]
day 11 definitelynottober - heart in your fist & week 1 weeklyhermittober - beginnings
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IM SO READY LETSGO SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW LIFE SERIES💥💥💥💥💥💥
#definitelynottober#definitelynottober2024#weeklyhermittober#trafficblr#traffic smp#life series#grian#bdoubleo100#bigbst4tz2#ethoslab#geminitay#goodtimeswithscar#impulsesv#martyn inthelittlewood#ldshadowlady#mumbo jumbo#pearlescentmoon#ok not tagging the rest bc theyre so in the back JKASLDJAJAWHAH#but also#zombiecleo#my art#i suffered so much with this piece but i really liked the idea KLASJDKAUEUEHE#maybe ill polish it more later URGH THIS TOOK SO LONGGGGGG#me: ok i need to catch up im two days late#also me: life series all members GO#HOPE U GUYS LIKE IT LOL#i didnt mess up the day count and only just realized now KLSADKLUEHUEJ. AS U CAN TELL THIS PIECE FRIED MY BRAINNNNNNN#edit again i did not completely forget this is also for weeklyhermittober.... trust.......................... KASDUEUEUHGl
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LISTEN TO ME RN, when the character is supposed to be rlly strong and muscular and buff PUT FAT ON THAT GUY fat is so fucking necessary to have a physical build that is so strong MAKE THEM FATTTTTTTTTTTTT
#rando thoughtz#this is coming from the shrimpiest noodle arm guy in the world. do not give a shit abt if u think fat looks bad suck it up buddy !!!!!!#also ur wrong and fat is so beautiful#and is generally a normal way to exist without needing it to be worthy of existing based on attractiveness#but also the variety in human bodies is beautiful in general too SO FAT IS BEAUTIFL
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congrats on the new child king
#genshin#genshin impact#wanderer#hat guy#scaramouche#durin#mini durin#need mini during pet to fly with us so i can match with my scara
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A h-heartfelt reunion..?
Bonus
#Sir Crocodile#Monkey D Dragon#Emporio Ivankov#Dragodile#Crocodad#My art#One Piece#We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay#Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao#I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally#He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace.#You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that#Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy#And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do#But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨#And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion
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