#narcissism is not a disability

[nothing0fnothing]

Narcissistic abuse has nothing to do with whether or not your abuser had diagnosable symptoms of a disorder. It's about how warped their personality is by narcissism that it makes them capable of some pretty heinous and unthinkable shit.

Like I feel like some people think narcissistic abuse survivors were just like, hit a lot or called a dumb slut a few times. No. There are survivors of narcissistic abuse who will never speak about the specifics of their abuse in to their partners, therapists or even confide it in their own diaries because its some next level unspeakable shit.

Trying to gaslight us by claiming we just want attention for experiencing a "special different type of abuse" is just not even close to it chief.

I've had conversations with women who have experienced some straight up POW, Stanford Prison Experiment, Abu Ghraib shit in their own homes. This isn't "my husband came home drunk and belligerent" shit. This isn't even "I was afraid he'd kill me" shit. These are women who were not abused, they were tortured.

So yeah like not all gamers or whatever, but the people crying that the label negatively impacts diagnosed narcissists, I seriously need you to take a deep breath and try for once to comprehend how unquestionably and infinitesimally little this has to do with you.

[nothing0fnothing]

No, we just don't have sympathy for abusers.

The fact "empaths" don't have empathy for childhood trauma survivors (ASPD, NPD, systems) is funny actually.

[psychotic-tbh]

Stop saying…

“Psychotic/Schizophrenic” when you mean: unpredictable, unhinged, unreal, etc.

“Bipolar” when you mean: polarized, scattered, fickle, unstable, etc.

“Delusional” when you mean: unrealistic, unreasonable, close-minded, stubborn, etc.

“[insert “R” slur in relation to intellectual disabilities]” when you mean: unreasonable, unintelligent/ridiculous, childish, etc.

“OCD” when you mean: particular, neat, overbearing, etc.

“Narcissistic” when you mean selfish, abusive, manipulative, etc.

Note: I’m NOT saying that these are synonymous. This is also not an exhaustive list.

[thedisablednaturalist]

We need to talk about how so many queer spaces are inaccessible and even actively hostile to physically disabled people.

[spaghettimakesflags]

asexual npd flag

[nothing0fnothing]

Yes. Absolutely.

Every mental health disorder comes with stigma.

You know what else comes with stigma? Being a survivor of abuse. The people traumatised by abuse face stigma in the mental healthcare they need, in their support services they seek and in their communities.

Attempting to gaslight survivors by telling them the abuse they experienced isn't real is perpetuating that stigma. Reaching out to survivors to verbally abuse them for using language you disagree with when discussing their history of experiencing abuse is perpetuating that stigma. Accusing survivors of ableism and anti NPD hate crimes for speaking publicly about trauma is perpetuating that stigma.

This isn't the stigma Olympics. Your experience of stigma as a person with an invisible mental health disorder doesn't trump the rights of speech, community and support of traumatised people. Experiencing stigma doesn't mean you don't get to promote and perpetrate stigma against someone else.

I'm very sorry that your NPD diagnosis came in and everyone made you feel bad about it, but coming after victims of narcissistic abuse who in no way imply that NPD itself is the problem is only digging the stigma deeper for you and the rest of your community.

Everyone made me feel like crap for every diagnosis I received over the years, and even for not responding to treatment the way I was "supposed" to. Why do narcissists get an extra special stigma pass on the internet?

Right, because they want one, and God forbid a narcissist not get what they want on any platform. In fact, it's so forbidden, that they'll publicly sacrifice their own illusion of reading comprehension to try and win an argument that would require them to admit that;

If my posts bother you, you probably don't want to admit that your personality disorder doesn't make you hurt people, you're just choosing to. Maybe you're insecure about someone you've hurt in the past, but they have a RIGHT to speak on who hurt them, and that scares you so much that you'd rather restrict their right to bleed than fix your own behavior.

[manyminded]

every person w schizophrenia & psychosis & npd & hpd & ocd & any stigmatized disorder should have a great day. effective immediately. I love you all and you’re all wonderful

(forgive me if I miss anything I do not have these disorders)

[whereserpentswalk]

People will really look at an able bodied abuser and go "they're so evil it's almost like they're disabled".

[villain-disorder]

Regular people couldn't fathom the effort I put into being kind. I choose this, I actively decide to be kind and feign empathy when it's needed, or beneficial. Sure, those benefits might be as simple and nonharmful as keeping a friend, but I still make the conscious effort to decide to show kindness. A thing that you're just expected to do and show by default, like a program. So I can't get praise for taking my time to be as warm as I can to others, or studying social cues to figure out how best to approach a situation without causing harm. It's thankless for so much work.

And if I make a mistake? I find it hard to feel like my situation would be taken into account. I actively run what are basically algorithms in my brain to figure out how to respond to situations without cauing harm, sometimes I'm wrong. I'm not being selfish by making an honest mistake, trying to socialise--Like a thing in human skin trying to walk on legs it's never had before, it's a miracle I can even do anything at all, even if it's wrong sometimes. But it inevitably slips, and I show coldness instead of what I calculated to be warmth, and I can't help but feel that it'd be so easy to cast me away for that, because they simply don't see the effort I put in to blend in.

[montaguespades]

No, it really IS actively hilarious how narcissistic behavior on Tumblr can be easily linked to the hallmark traits of a narcissistic abuser, to the point where a brief Google search could tell that narcissist in plain English, "You're being a toxic, abusive cunt online, and if you were at ALL willing to be as self-aware as you claim to be, you wouldn't be telling victims of other narcissistic abusers that they are not allowed to bleed in any way on any platform."

I think my favorite thing about narcissists is that anytime I make a post *literally* anywhere about how I’ve been through 23 years of narcissistic abuse and I have zero sympathy for narcissistic behavior I immediately get hate messages in my inbox.

Like, you’re proving my point sweetie.

[hex12345678910]

Friendly reminder that ableism is still very much alive. Also if you google "what is narc supply" pretty much all the websites are ableist, misinformative, and demonise narcissists. The 5th website literally compared narcissists with parasites.

[nothing0fnothing]

hey im not a narcissist but genuinely narc abuse isn't a thing its an extremely hurtful terminology to use, whatever happened to you was abuse yes but just say abuse. emotional abuse physical abuse sexual abuse psychological abuse are all a-okay real terms that don't hurt anyone!

i used to describe what happened to me as narc abuse because my abuser had NPD among other disorders and those symptoms affected how they abused me but i know better now, it was a mix of emotional psychological and sexual abuse in a fucked up abuse cocktail but again not narc abuse as that's not a real fucking term and it hurts ppl with NPD who aren't abusive and are bettering themselves by placing them under this horrific stigma that narcissists are all horrible evil abusive people

also NPD is literally narcissistic personality disorder a narcissist is a person with NPD you aren't a narcissist if you don't have NPD you're demonising NPD

Narcissistic abuse is a real thing, and I know it's a real thing because psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, outreach support officers, victim advocates, lawyers, therapists and councellors aren't lying.

It's not "just" emotional, physical, sexual abuse, it's a different type of abuse that is perpetrated consistently and intentionally against its victim. The effect it has on its victims is different from non narcissistic abuse, and mental health professionals working on supporting survivors know that the recovery and treatment for people who experienced it is different. It doesn't harm anybody to know and use the term, but it does harm real victims if we pretend it isn't real.

Your abuse wasn't narcissistic abuse because your abuser has NPD. Your abuse was narcissistic abuse because your abuser was narcissistic, and they perpetrated abuse against you for the purpose of satisfying their narcissistic delusion. I'm sorry it happened to you and I'm sorry you've been gaslit into believing that what you experienced as a victim isn't real.

My dms are always open if you need somebody to talk to. 💛🤎💛

[neurotypicalabusesurvivor]

Just as a friendly reminder it impossible to stop child abuse on a global level if you are ableist towards people with childhood trauma disorders.

[draconicsnail]

The whole "oh that person did [insert bad thing]? What a psychopath/narcissist!" "That person is so stupid and autistic! (Because they don't perfectly fit in) " thing happening right now is actually so disgusting.

These things are MEDICAL DIAGNOSES. Not insults to be used like stupid or moron. (which, what a shocker, used to be a medical diagnosis, but people used them wrong and turned them into insults!)

Narcissists can become and are often self aware and can better themselves. Not all of them are abusive, self-absorbed terrible peoplelike many people want to portray them as. And even if they are, *this is still a medical diagnosis and a disorder. Not just a few negative personality traits or being slightly more self-absorbed. *

The majority of psychopaths are NOT in fact murderers! Or evil! Just because someone has lowered empathy or whatever doesn't make them any less human. And although this can lead to them hurting other people, as stated earlier, this is a DISORDER, not just someone being awful for shits and giggles! This is not to excuse their actions but to explain it.

And as for autism. There is NO REASON for autism to be an insult or stigmatized at all. I can at least slightly UNDERSTAND, not excuse, the other ones being used like they are, but for autism? Autistic people are not stupid because they don't understand your subtle social cues. They're not overly sensitive because they can't handle loud noises or weird textures. There is nothing wrong with being autistic. There is nothing wrong with being DIFFERENT, whether that be due to autism or not. I could go on and on about this, but let me just move on.

Now, on to something that just baffles me even more: the common use of r*tard by neurotypical, perfectly abled people. ANOTHER example of a diagnosis-turned slur/insult. There is never a good reason to use this word against others. It has been used against (usually neuro-developmentally or intellectually) disabled people for decades, maybe even centuries, to discriminate against them and other them. Even now, when disabled people are more accommodated for (even though it still isn't nearly enough) this word is still used, and they are still othered by those who will never understand the struggles of being disabled, yet still discriminate against them. Although I do have inattentive ADHD, I will still NEVER be able to understand many's struggles with their disabilities, and I know I am incredibly privileged to be able to say that.

These words being used as insults just further others and pushes away these people from society. It is discriminatory and these words should NOT be used as insults and just thrown around all willy-nilly like many people like to nowadays.

(Please correct me in tags or reblog this with a comment if I was incorrect about something. I am open to criticism, and will edit this post accordingly.)

[front-ill]

Demoting a term for abuse that is characterized by why someone does something versus what one does in regards to abuse removes the responsibility of the person at hand for being abusive, and instead moves the blame on something other than the person. Which is why narcissistic abuse as a concept is harmful. While you can have terms that demote the specific TYPE of abuse, example being sexual abuse, you can't put it on a term where it isn't a type of abuse. You can't call someone a narcissistic individual AND believe that narcissism (in an ableist sense) are both real because YOU remove the blame onto a term where that term describes certain actions and symptoms of a mental disorder.

Oh, and if you believe that narcissism and NPD aren't the same, you're not sneaky when you claim that narcissistic abuse holds NPD tendencies and symptoms (example being entitlement or being hurt from criticism). Even if you do it subtly.

[marshmallow-biscuit-blog]

Disability Pride Month - Narcissism

(red sentences are my particular thoughts/reactions to situations and not verified studies. Yeah, I guess I'ma be frank and let you see I'ma little fucking bitch. Enough with my mask.) Reminder that narcissism isn't a personality trait and that it's a disorder. A true narcissist cannot help it. It doesn't make our behavior okay, but just like a schizophrenic person can't help their delusional behavior, a narcissist can't help that we have an elevated sense of self worth. It's incredibly rude and hurtful to use the word as a quirky personality trait. Use our term correctly. Narcissistic people often seem extremely confident, but in reality we're highly unsure of ourselves and have extremely low self worth and break at the smallest nitpicks. We have a tendency to cling to people in a show off way, but mainly because we like these people and we want to impress them. Because we're trying to be "better" but also because we're so desperate to be good enough for them, that it comes across as being better than thou type of situation. Someone can say something like "I had ___ experience" and we try to one up it. Not just because we want to be better, but because we don't want you to lose interest. It's a fear factor of losing someone we care about because "we're not good enough/interesting enough." because they had a slightly more interesting situation. That leads onto the fear of rejection. If someone dislikes us, unlike most people being able to "oh well, they weren't worth my time anyways" and shrug it off, it becomes an end of the world situation for a narcissistic individual. Why wasn't I good enough? What haven't I done? Why am I not good enough? Just because narcissists are full of themselves and have elevated self worth, that doesn't mean they don't have guilt and shame for things. In fact, for me, guilt and shame takes up a LOT of my mental space and makes me feel the need to be BETTER than others to compensate for it. I find myself going "shit why'd I brag about that in that moment?" And I over react, and the cycle continues. We have a really hard time being vulnerable. We don't like to share our little secrets. We don't want to seem weak or imperfect, and what other way to do that than to say "Oh yeah I was just crying the other day because blah blah blah" no why would we say we were crying? Can't let you know we're crying, that lets you know that we finally broke down over something, and that gives you a chance to break us down more. It's our job to make you feel like you can break down into our arms and why we're your "only safe space" because we're a greedy bastard and we'll be jealous and honestly really hurt for some reason if you have any others. One thing I feel I don't have space to talk about along side other narcissists is emotions since despite being diagnosed with narcissism, I'm highly empathetic towards others and will literally sob over things people tell me even if I don't know what to do, so I'll speak from an entirely research based response here. (Though, my psychologist does say that empathetic narcissists are a thing, and that's what he diagnosed me as, so lol) Anyways, many narcissists have a hard time keeping up relationships because they lack empathy. I'd say that's the only reason I HAVE any decent relationships with anybody, because really, I'm a fucking bitch. I mean, I'd defend you or something, but the first thought through my head would also be "what about me though" Sorry about the long rant, but yeah. Stop misusing the word narcissist/narcissism. We may not be right, but we can't help it either. Best we can do is go the therapy. (also, I'm sure there's plenty of typos, if so I apologize.)