#my sysmate made this

[renzokukenblade]

But really.

[snuffbarks]

my stuff .

[thefluxsystem]

DID is really fucking annoying to have, actually.

Yeah yeah, friends in your head, pre-installed found family, lifelong teammates, fun innerworld/headspace interactions, good and dandy. Genuinely, those are the only parts of all this I take any comfort in.

The rest of it, though?

There’s no point “living each day to the fullest”, because I’ll forget it by tomorrow. I have to take notes on my own life like I’m studying for a final exam solely to exist. I have to write down every appointment, every task, write down whenever I eat for fucksake, because “I” might not be here in 20 minutes and whoever comes next cannot remember what I’ve done. We’ve tried.

It’s near impossible to maintain relationships because, even though most people don’t know what is wrong with me, they can tell something’s off. Even if I do make friends, everyone in my system has such messed up attachment styles that I sometimes wonder how we have anyone.

Those who get it don’t even truly get it. I have been in and out of therapy for over 12 years, and I’ve spent most of that time learning with the professionals. This disorder has effective treatment, yet so few know anything about that, or about the disorder in general. It’s horrifying.

I adore “the people in my head”, they’ve done so much for me, for us, but it wasn’t supposed to be this way. We were supposed to be one. I was supposed to be just I.

As much as I don’t have time to think about it— I have a life to live, I have to keep going— it’s still there. Always an active part of me, voices and thoughts that aren’t my own commenting on every little thing I do. Because, even though I wish it weren’t the case, anything I do affects them, too.

I have never lived my life for myself and I never will. It’s beautiful, in a way. It just was meant to be different.

I was meant to be different.

[possibly-eli]

hey guys i think im out of the trauma spiral my ex-quadmate put me in <- he is, in fact, not out of the trauma spiral his ex-quadmate put him in

[npdbenrey]

we wnet to an arcade. im in my prime territory. gamer mode activated

[the-indigo-symphony]

Btw the fakeclaimers and exclusionists won't tell you this but it can be a very important step of healing to just. Not care all that much when you get new system members. You don't have to be all gung-ho about it – I myself get a little bothered because I stress about getting newcomers profiles before they switch out to who knows where – but also don't, like, beat yourself up for it. Yeah, your system got someone new. Maybe a lot of someones. It's fine. This isn't a moral failure. You haven't started any apocalypses. And on that note, you don't have to avoid that cool thing you think you might be into because you're worried about getting introjects from it, or whatever. Shit happens, systems grow, and we all march on anyway.

I suspect this sort of attitude comes from the idea (whether subconscious or not) that having sysmates is bad, and thus having more sysmates = even worse. This is not true. You are not a bad person or system just because you got some new members. You are not necessarily "unhealthy" or "sick" just for getting someone new, or because you're a large system (and even if it did mean that, "unhealthy" does not mean "immoral" or "should hate themselves"). Sometimes there can be problems involved with gaining new sysmates! This is true! But what isn't true is the underlying sentiment that being "very" plural is bad, or that a system growing in member count is this horrible, awful thing. Throw out your internalized pluralphobia. I repeat: throw out your internalized pluralphobia. It's completely and totally fine to gain new system members, and it's completely and totally fine to be a large system. This attitude does nothing but reinforce the idea that being plural – or at the very least, having perfectly natural and normal plural experiences – are inherently wrong and must be avoided at all costs (and when they can't be, they must be complained about so everyone knows they're bad; that it's bad to be plural and have plural experiences).

Also, on a related note – these kinds of sentiments can very easily cause those new system members to feel like they're the problem. Please, if you're the type to get frustrated or annoyed when you get new members for whatever reason, let them know it's not their fault. Don't make them feel like a chore or a mistake or anything else negative. Don't leave those thoughts to fester. Don't cause a rift in your system just because you wanted to join in with the common system joke of hating to get new sysmates. Again, you don't have to suddenly stop being frustrated with the problems that increasing in member count may cause, but do not take that frustration out on your new members, and do not make them feel like a problem. Give them some room to figure themselves out, and show them support as they learn and grow into themselves. Have a talk with them, if you can. It's not their fault that their entrance into your system interrupted your tempo. You can find a new balance together.

(And, btw, that bit about causing others to feel like they're a problem also goes for the implications of your words towards large systems. It feels very estranging and uncomfortable to see so many folks complaining about getting new headmates and implying that it would be wrong of them to not do everything in their power to make sure they don't get any new introjects when we're a polyfragmented system who grows at the drop of a hat. I'm sure We're not the only large system who feels this way, either. Your jokes aren't made in a vacuum; other systems can see them.)

I am making an executive decision here to welcome each and every one of my new selves. I am annoyed to all hell and back with our amnesia and executive function problems keeping us from getting caught up on member profiles, but that's not the fault of anyone who moves in, and I'm not going to wallow in anguish over how our system operates and its tendency to throw new selves at us at the drop of a hat. I'm not going to beat myselves up when there's no good reason to. That's just doing my DID's work for it.

Gaining new system members isn't a crime. You can be neutral or even positive about it. Please don't make your new system members feel unwelcome, and please don't let internalized pluralphobia snowball into a pattern of self-hate. It's fine to be a system, it's fine to gain new system members, and it's fine to find these things not just "fine", but an enjoyable and positive part of life.

[plural-affirmations]

Here's to systems who experience doubt about their systemhood.

System doubt is a very real and present issue for a lot of plurals. This one goes out to them.

Shoutout to:

Hosts who doubt themselves or the existence of their system a lot

Alters who were made to think they're singlets by abusers or toxic people in their life

Littles/syskids who don't understand they're part of a system

Traumaholders who are so traumatized that they end up shutting down the possibility of being a system

Systems that go through frequent collapses/dormancies

People who aren't sure if what they're experiencing "counts" as being plural

Plurals with severe amnesia that leads them to forget the others

Those who are convinced their sysmates are "just" hallucinations, kintypes, BPD, etc.

The ones who have been professionally diagnosed, but still don't fully believe it

And anyone else I missed.

It's going to be ok. I promise, doubt is normal -- it's distressing, and it's hard to handle, but it's normal. I even doubt my own system from time to time. You're not alone.

Be kind to yourself today, ok?

🖤💜💙💚💛

[the-alarm-system]

The Best way to Combat Anti-Endogenics is Loving Yourselves.

Whether you are traumagenic or endogenic, the best way to combat this infighting and fakeclaiming is to love yourself and your headmates and to write about how wonderful and in love you are with your systemhood.

I have been on both sides, I've endured self hatred and felt self acceptance and it is what led my stance on syscourse.

As many have observed, there has been a lot of pressure on anti-endogenics, many have switched, psychologist have agreed with us, professionals have agreed with us, now all those left on the anti endo wall are simply held back by one thing, something that holds them back no matter how many sources you cite to them. That thing is:

self loathing. the amplification of plural struggle. the agony of being a "broken" individual because you have a disorder.

-------------------

---------------------------

Why does this happen exactly? The focus of origin, the fact that they are so focused over their existence being trauma based and nothing more. To them, system=trauma, system=negative, system cannot be more than trauma. To them endos are systems= endos want trauma=endos think my trauma is good (instead of endos are systems, endos think being a system is good, not trauma).

If positivity was amplified, and real positivity not just validation, there would be a chance that systems may see this and realize that they don't just have to center their existence around their suffering. Trauma may be where I come from, but I can be more than it ever was. I am more than my origin, you are more than your origin.

When I was in anti-endo circles, system equaling suffering pushed me away from accepting myself, but when I found pro-endos I realized that systemhood didn't have to always be bad, no matter how much I suffered.

Being alongside endos was healing me, I was disordered, I was different, but I didn't have to focus on the negative. I didn't have to exist on the negative. I was disordered, but I wasn't seen as broken the same way anti endos viewed me. I was just different, thats all.

Watching endogenics love themselves made me do the same, it made me also support them and love them.

So to Endogenic systems,

LOVE YOURSELF

BE YOURSELF

LOUDER AND LOUDER

TELL US ABOUT HOW YOU LOVE YOUR SYSMATES

TELL US ABOUT HOW SYSTEMHOOD SAVED YOU

TELL US ABOUT ALL THE THINGS THAT HAVE MADE YOU ALL HAPPY TO BE PLURAL

YOU ARE LOVED MORE THAN YOU ARE HATED, I CARRY MORE LOVE FOR YOU THAN ALL ANTIS DO HATE

Stop trying to argue and bicker with them that you're valid, because you being valid or not doesn't matter

Your happiness does.

[pluraflvttershy]

userboxes for systems w mlp introjects!! (just the mane 6)

“this alter”:

“this part”:

“this sysmate”:

“this headmate”:

THESE WERE MADE BY AN ENDOGENIC. ANTIS/NEUTRALS F2U MY CONTENT. HATERS GET BLOCKED.

[the-crystal-femmes]

// pt: boundaries //

Last updated 01/31/25 by Dewdrop / Pearl

Separated by headmate

Collectively

// pt: collectively //

Asks - we're fine with asks! We would appreciate no donation asks for personal reasons, no "send this to others" type asks, or anything too extremely personal. We'll never have anon asks on, by the way! Also please clarify who you're sending an ask to if you need, and if you want private responses.

We aren't okay with those 13 or under following us for comfort reasons. We are bodily 19 as stated in our bio.

We prefer not being lumped together all the time and would like to be acknowledged individually as well!

Most of us aren't okay with nicknames being made for us unless we give the green light.

We would prefer the orientations of our headmates be respected. We are collectively lesbians, and do not wish to get into arguments with anyone about that, as we adamantly also view our sources the same.

I feel this is unnecessary but please don't vague post about us unless you're being positive.

Most of us are uncomfortable with things relating to us or our posts being tagged with fandom tags. We aren't hiding the fact we are a system and a lot of us are paranoid over harassment, especially our OCD holder. We are only fine with it when it doesn't directly involve headmates.

Tagging - we ask not to be tagged in humanoid picrews. Please specify which headmate you're tagging if you're not tagging us collectively.

Interactions - please don't ask us about our eating habits, or send us labels to use unless we're close. Please use tone tags with us! None of us are okay with flirting unless spoken to otherwise.

Please don't claim you personally knew any of us from our canons. That makes us super uncomfortable and none of us are looking for canonmates.

Please don't try to ask us about turquitheslimeplush. We have a history with this user and our prosecutor gets triggered by seeing it. We have this post here (link) explaining why it's been blocked, please don't ask us or contact us about Turqui unless you're a close mutual.

The only boundary we have on doubles is that Ula isn't okay with interacting with other Draculaura's. She's completely okay with Garnet but just not drac. Everyone else is a-okay with doubles, including myself :3

We ask please not to be given gifts unless we're actually talken to about it first. We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings!

Host

// pt: Host //

I love being tagged in things but please be mindful of my triggers and such!

Please don't demand my attention. If you want it, at least be a bit polite, yeah? I'm happy to give my attention to close mutuals, but someone yelling at me because I haven't answered my asks isn't the way to go.

You're free to tag me in posts about my headmates!

I'm fine with compliments from anyone!

Ula

// pt: Ula //

Ula's original boundary post (link)

Ula is fine with being tagged in art of her source as Draculaura but asks you only tag him in art where Draculaura is plus-sized.

Please don't give Ula compliments unless you're a mutual and accept the fact she may not react the way you want

Pearl

// pt: pearl //

Caution should be advised if you interact with me and you're a little who is regressed, or a syskid.* It's not something I'm particularly comfortable interacting with, but I'm learning to deal with it.

*I'm fine with syskids who don't want to be treated like children.

My sysmates tell me I have a superiority complex, and that should also be thought of when I'm in front.

I am uncomfortable with self-shippers or doubles of my source as Crystal Gem Pearl unless you are a mutual. Mutuals are exempt from this boundary as I feel comfortable with you all.

I don't have any boundaries on ship talk, but I'm known to get uncomfortable talking about ships in direct interactions. I am a lesbian and can get uncomfortable with pairings that don't respect my orientation, however this doesn't apply to fictionfolk.

Host clarifying for Pearl here; the boundary above DOES NOT APPLY to fictionfolk. Please do not feel the need to censor your own experiences for Pearl as that isn't what she's trying to say whatsoever. We were informed of a miscommunication about this boundary and I would like to fix that. The above boundary is regards to SOURCE PEARL as Pearl refuses to separate herself from source, but this is absolutely not a requirement even, and if you still don't want to tag it or anything, that's completely fine.

I'm a bit.. Iffy about compliments, for now we'll say mutuals only.

Please don't ask me about shapeshifting. I'm uncomfortable with the idea of doing so!

[underground-skelecats]

Ink

hi my names Ink! I also go by Kiki. I am an Ink Sans fictive. Though i am noncanon for the most part, I am very source attached and do not want to be seperated from it. Do not try I will bite. My tag is #🏳️‍🌈ink's splash zone.

my pronouns include he, any cat or art neos, void, star, and zone. I am scribblecatgender and rainbowcraystar. My romantic orientation is uhhhh attention/silly. I think THINK I could be ovjectum idk tho.

I am ageless with the body being 18.

I am one of the 3(?) system hosts along with being a socializer, attachmate, and amitate. I also believe I am an attention seeker.

I'm very fine with and love to interact with doubles, sourcemates, and selfshippers. though I am in an in sys polycule and ask you do not try to 'claim me as yours.' It doesn't mean I am not open to out of sys relationships I just want y'all to respect that I have other partners. (Also like minors under 16 pls don't flirt I will block jsisuwh),

Oh yuh and feel free to tag me or send me asks or something pretty pls. like they can be of source/of me, or anything that reminds u of me/my sysmates. Also any silly posts about cheese 🔥

Uhhh that's all I think so uh yuh. Kins under cut.

kins

-ink sans

-fresh ink

-rainbow 2.0 (su)

-all eeveelutions (pokemon)

-all felines and feline based creatures

-cheese (I can't explain it)

-questioning factkin of mandjtv (poketuber)

-wild canines/canine based creatures

-pinkie pie (mlp)

-questioning lars (su)

-questioning spongebob

Idk who made the first userbox but the creator of the 2nd one is here

[lilac-set]

Hi! Just letting you all know that you're amazing! Also for an actual question what song pumps you up?

Oh, thank you!! You’re all amazing too! /genuine

Air really likes “candy hearts” and “sparkle queens” by xomg pop, but he really only likes the old versions, they got rerecorded after half the group left and the old ones got taken down, we havent found where to find all xomg’s old stuff yet but we havent really looked yet

Earth is the pretty much the only one that actually listens to music frequently, Water and i 🔥 havent really found our own taste in music yet, although theres a song on Earth’s playlist i really like called “no parallels” by hands like houses. If Water had to name one he would probably say “say you like me” by we the kings, again from Earth’s playlist

🪨 if we’re talking about songs that pump me up, i have to mention “for the glory” by all good things, i used to listen to it a lot but ive tried not to the past year or so, because i dont have a healthy relationship with it. Basically, im not traumagenic, i was born with the body (just like all my sysmates), i dont exist to fulfill a role, but after we experienced trauma i chose to step up as a physical and emotional protector of my system, and then i made that my entire identity and felt like i failed my purpose in life when i failed to protect them, and was just spiraling rapidly downward into self loathing and homicidal ideation, which is why we quit using system roles at all in favor of mbti and still why i dont front that often, despite having fronted almost exclusively for the years prior, during our trauma. Anyway, this song has an easy time sucking me right back into the protector mindset, which is why i try to avoid it. But god its a good song. Anyway, in no particular order i like pretty much everything thats ever been recorded by imagine dragons, sugarcult, the score, paramore, yellowcard, and probably some others but those immediately come to mind, i dont think i can pick a favorite, but i can be more specific if youre looking for recommendations

[transgender-daemon-faerie]

Welcome to fun facts with fae. The show where I answer questions that nobody actually asked.

I have realized that I have probably been plural for much longer than I initially thought.

Since I was maybe 10, I had this idea (that I never outwardly shared) that there were different “sides” to me.

The issue that I frequently came across when I tried to label these “sides” was that they ended up not really fitting. I usually would divide it into 2-4 “sides”.

I know now that the reason that didn’t work is there are 8 of us in my system. The sides didn’t encompass all that I was, because I was limiting the number to too small of a group.

My syscovery happened over quarantine in 2020. And what actually helped me fully discover all of my sysmates was Sander Sides.

I know, I’m sorry. Stay with me.

I had several friends who were into it, and I decided since I had so much free time that I would see what all the fuss was about. And then I began thinking, well if I was like (fictionalized) Thomas Sanders, these are the sides I would have. And this is what their names would be. And this is where they would live in my head.

And I also started watching a lot of TikToks of systems. And I slowly realized that that was what I was. There were other people inside of me.

This realization almost immediately caused some turmoil in my life. Anxiety that there was something wrong with me. My parents fear of just how mentally ill it was becoming apparent that I am. Trouble with figuring out exactly what this would mean for me going forward. How I was going to navigate life as a system.

Then came excitement. This was something new in my life and I wanted to share it with other people. I made maps of what my headspace looked like. I wrote down basic information about each of my headmates.

This stage was short lived. I began to hide my switches. I still do. I didn’t want it to change the relationships that I had with others. I didn’t want the extra complications that came with being multiple people in one body.

I have made peace with my headmates now. We have a good understanding of how to get through situations. But it took time m, and it was a rough road l.

I’ll stop rambling now, but I wanted to share that part of my experience with plurality.

[transharmful-angel]

You seem ‘transharmful’ in the way a beaten dog is all teeth and adrenaline. Genuinely. What made you come to the conclusion that you were “transharmful”? I’m curious to know what moment confirmed that label for you because, to me, you seem like a child acting out because there’s no one they trust to help and put them in their place. Then again, that probably pertains to more than half of the RQ community.

To say you all need a good finger-wagging and less phone time would be an understatement.

— C.

Best ask i ever got I genuinely love this, very amusing. I'm not sure if you're trying to insult me or not? If you are it aint working, I take this as an compliment.

But thats actually pretty much it very well worded actually. I am a headmate in a system though and thats also a big factor. I hold "intrusive" thoughts so. Not sure if I can call them intrusive as I'm not appalled but my sysmates are.

I'm not allowed to talk as freely abt my transharmed ids (our protector doesnt like it very much and he will delete this blog if he thinks I say too much) but getting put in my place doesnt sound that bad actually.

I am transharmful in a (trans)harmed way if that makes sense.

To sum it up, I'm transharmful (and transharmed) cause I got that trauma but i dont feel like I got enough and because I hold "intrusive" thoughts for the sys. (idk what to call the thoughts tbh)

And I love the attention I cant lie.

Idk if this makes sense but thats what you get.

[system-of-a-feather]

Ignoring the discourse, I just wanted to ramble on parts language and our feelings to it as someone who mainly uses it - but honestly "parts" is our preferred term by a long way save for alter when we are talking about things in a more clinical sense.

Personally for us, headmate, sysmate, and similar "roommate" kind of terms actually feel diminishing to the dynamic we have with one another. Headmate and similar terms draw parallels to roommates housemates, aka someone you share a space with - and I totally understand the draw to those terms for those that like to emphasize the individuality of the parts, but personally to call our relationship to one another something similar to people who just share a body / brain / mind / system etc really feels a bit... downplaying the importance we have to one another and the unique dynamic that comes from being parts of a whole.

XIV, Ray, Lucille, Aderis, all the parts in our system feel far more intimate, personal, and tighter bonds than anything like a housemate or a roommate or "someone I am sharing X with" could possibly reach. By nature we all compliment each other and were literally created to support, bolster, accentuate, and cover for one another.

/Separate people in different bodies are not so genuinely and thoroughly made to exist in synergy with one another the same way alters and parts are. Separate people in different bodies, no matter how close and how far back they go, are never going to be as deeply tied with one another the same way parts are / can be - and if they DO - 9/10 times it is likely super codependent and unhealthy where as with alters that tends to be an ideal.

Of course this depends on how you define "separate people" and all so its not a "well I am RIGHT" cause its how we perceive things and the main point in our perception is that to draw parallels to existences of two 'separate people' sharing a space together honestly just... extremely downplays how intrinsically made for one another we are. My relationship with my parts goes deeper than any two people who share a space could ever go because we were literally MADE for one another. It's impossible to compliment me and support me more than the parts in my system because they ARE LITERALLY my other halves.

So headmate and sysmate just.... always feel really downplaying to what we are.

Alters we are okay and chill with, but it honestly feels both sensationalized and very.... artificial for a lack of better words. Using the word "alter" tends to draw my mind to the more fictional media depictions OR solely to minimizing parts to the clinical expression to which it feels a bit dehumanizing - so unless its for convenient shared language or for clinical / just factual references - we tend to prefer parts.

Parts on the other hand really acknowledges just how intrinsically connected and made for one another we are. We really don't think it diminishes our individuality at all (though that might just be because we are decently far in our healing journey that we can simultaneously hold the idea of 'we are parts of a whole' and 'we are valid as individuals with our experiences and can exist and acknowledge ourselves and one another like individuals' very easily together at the same time) or imply anything about us being broken or shattered or anything.

If anything, parts language reminds me that there IS others out there that are there to fill in the gaps in life that I can't do. It reminds me that I am not in this alone and that I'm not SUPPOSED to be in this alone. I am a whole person, but I am not the whole picture and I don't have to try to be the whole picture because one puzzle piece while beautiful on its own - often works many times better when connected with the others.

I dunno, parts language is just a really really positive and healing thing for us. We love it and while we understand it not being for everyone, it means A LOT to us and really nothing negative.

My parts are made FOR me just as I am made FOR my parts. We are literally MADE for one another because we are PARTS of a whole that are MEANT to work with one another and I think that is really beautiful honestly.

[granulesofsand]

Is it possible for a headmate to be programmed by another/feel programmed? As in they have "tasks" they start to complete with certain triggers. Doubt this would be related to RAMCOA though, and would probably use a different word, but not sure.

🗝️🏷️RAMCOA, responding to triggers, ‘you’ indefinite and ‘you(&)’ headmate/system inclusive

As in programmed by another headmate? We wouldn’t call it programming (just because the external coercion is important to our definition), but you can get a similar effect. The first few paragraphs are about dealing with internal perpetration, the last about what to do if there is no perpetrator (it’s common for systems to have trigger-based reactions they can’t control!)

It’s been our experience that headmates can use the innerworld about the same as the outerworld to apply trauma, and even memory sharing can be traumatic if the receiving sysmate isn’t equipped to work through it. The chances of having the physiological effects are also way lower unless your innerworld is super vivid. Maybe co-con or co-front could make that happen?

To my knowledge, collectives with this experience do label it ‘self-programming’, which is uncomfortable for me as a programmed alter, but not necessarily inaccurate.

Treatment for the results would be somewhat different for external perpetrators; group contact shouldn’t be an issue (unless innerworld organization is a problem), but there is no running away from the perpetrator(s) (unless the innerworld has the space for that). Either way, the headmates perpetrating need to stop for the healing to progress. The consequences of sharing a body are difficult to quantify. The programming itself would almost certainly be less complex and group-oriented than externallly perpetrated MC.

Depending on how the perpetrating headmates learned to do this, you(&) might be able to treat them as the equivalent of enforcers rather than external abusers. Compassion is still required for all headmates involved, but I wouldn’t recommend re-introducing the perpetrator and survivor for some time (if at all, depends on system functions if separation is on the table).

I’m honestly not too sure how to go about solely internal dynamics, as ours stem from external events, but I have faith that recovery is possible. I don’t know of any communities centering this, and I’d actually recommend staying away from abuse-based groups (if anything, look for plural/multiple circles and maybe find people with like experiences you(&) can build trust with).

What you(&)’re describing could well be how the system works, no internal abuse required. In that case, elaboration and role-separation are probably more helpful. Let them know they don’t have to do these jobs, and that the triggers they’re responding to (which is normal in traumagenic disorders, CDDs included) no longer require them to perform — or if they are required, that they have choices in how to go forward with their reactions.

It would be less common for an untraumatized (not including endo systems who have post-traumatic responses) system to react to triggers this way, but far from impossible. Brains do what brains do, psychological or otherwise.

Either way, make trigger lists (if this doesn’t further destabilize the headmate/system) and track symptoms. Try to trace whether this is a headmate behaving typically (albeit unhealthily) or if they’re being controlled by another sysmate. Notice if the patterns serve the headmate/system or mostly a third party system member. The words bit is odd, but not impossible to find naturally. Look into it, but mind other symptoms to see if the prying is hurting you(&).

It’s going to be a long task no matter which it is, but you(&) should know what you(&)’re dealing with. You(&) aren’t the first to deal with this, and others have made it out the other side. Good luck.