#my final aps this year are
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total for today was actually 820c probably lol, not too concerned cuz i was stressing tf out today about Them Things and ap computer science
also i have a ap exam in ap macroeconomics on my birthday (may 9) did. did you know that simon rileys birthday estimated is may 17 . yes i have it marked on my calendar
#my final aps this year are#ap comp sci#ap environmental sci#ap psychology#ap macroeconomics#ap literature#so i have to get on dat grind ykwim
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sims
-an 18 day late part two of my year review( ̄□ ̄」) anyways hope everyone has a good new year going forward and cant wait to make more content for you all <3 MWAH
#I will say I only recommend looking at it on computer#my sims#ts4#sims 4#sims4#ts4 cas#sims 4 cas#sims#ts4 portrait#sims 4 portrait#ts4 lookbook#sims 4 lookbook#this has taken most of my time going into the year behind my AP portfolio stuff(`皿´#)#but im happpy its finally done!!!
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Sorry It's been so long 😭 I've been swamped by school
Here's a full body Kon to make up for it!
I finally figured out my design for him!! (It only took 4 months, lmao 💀)
#art#traditional art#doodle#dc comics#dcu#fanart#dc fanart#kon el superboy#kon el#conner kent#80s kon is the light of my life#hes so fun to draw#i love him#finals are about to kick my ass#end of the year testings deserves to rot oml#ap art is killing me over here holy shit#my art <3
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three weeks left in the semester and neither of my major papers ive submitted for english have been graded. this functionally means i have no idea what my grade actually is in this class, and also that i have received extremely limited feedback in my longer writing assignments, and i have no idea what i need to improve in my final one so i can make sure whatever fucking grade i end up with is a good one !!!!
#boycritter et al#and like. this final paper is worth 30% of my grade#the other 2 are a combined 40%#this isnt something i can just hope for the best on !!!!!!!!#i took ap lang last year. im not taking ap lit this year.#ap classes teach you how to write a lot in a short amount of time. bc you eventually have to write like 3 essays in 2 hours#at least in ap lang#ap lang also teachers you a bunch of rhetorical analysis stuff / its the newest form of writing yr exposed to#so the class spends way more time on it#and the english class im taking this year is also an advanced english class but none of the same skills are really applicable#ap lang taught me how to bullshit and how to bullshit fast#i cannot transfer the feedback i got on my ap lang stuff to this class !!!#and my ap lang teacher was not a harsh grader so i didnt necessarily get the best feedback in that class either#aughghhhhh im annoyed. im trying to finish this semester with good grades bc next semester is senioritis season
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Sketchbook Day 1 (8/29/2024) of AP 2D Art Studio 🫶
#ap art class#idk how to tag this sorry chat#traditional art#sketchbook#leather art#milenkos handicraft#I struggle with trad art sorry guys#I think I finally have killed my black prismacolor marker after 6 years#these were technicallyyyy not IN class I did these at home on my own volition but.its practice for this class so IDK
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Hey there!
I just wanted to say I re read UTB and it's inspiring and so so so very good! It's a rollercoaster ride and I get so excited every time I see an update come through in my emails :)
I wanted to ask a question about Gwyn. I had a good scroll and couldn't see that it was asked before but it might already have been asked, so I am sorry if this is a repeat and feel free to ignore it if it is!
What would have happened if Gwyn wasn't born a Peak Alpha? Would Crielle have seen it as some kind of failing that a Peak Alpha lineage hadnt been achieved?
I also had a question about Efnisien and Crielle.
Would there ever be a scenario where Crielle would have raised Efnisien as a "high society Omega" (which I can imagine would have been its own level of hell) if she didn't go down the experimentation path or would he have been disposed of?
Thank you for all your writing!
So, in a way if Gwyn hadn't been born a peak alpha...if he wouldn't have been killed, he would have had an upbringing that echoed all his other abusive upbringings with Crielle.
I've been asked for like 10 years 'what would happen if Crielle loved her son / got the son she always wanted' - and so Underline the Black is the answer to that. We get a villain. So if you want the opposite of that, it's all my other stories about Gwyn, y'know? He gets abused, he gets tortured, he gets dismissed, he gets beat on, he gets tormented, he meets Augus (or Ash, or both of them) etc. etc.
Crielle loving Gwyn is the answer to the original question: What would happen if Crielle ended up loving her son? What if he'd been born the way she wanted him to be born?
The question you're asking is in a weird way, answered in every single fic before that. The fics that led to that question being asked in the first place. :D You can read the original Fae Tales series if you want to know what happens if Gwyn hadn't been born Seelie a peak alpha
Would there ever be a scenario where Crielle would have raised Efnisien as a "high society Omega" (which I can imagine would have been its own level of hell) if she didn't go down the experimentation path or would he have been disposed of?
For me, no. For other people sure!
But for me...not without completely remaking Crielle's character. It's pretty fundamental to her to be kind of an intensely intelligent and malevolent scientist in the background of her caring about high society.
Ultimately Efnisien got to live because she saw a use for him. If she didn't see a use for him, I can't imagine why she'd want to raise him as a high society omega, honestly. That takes effort and money, and she's consolidated enough in her power, finances and legacy that she doesn't feel the need to create a cash cow to sell off to create a connection to another family.
I think he would be disposed of. I honestly think she will still try to dispose of him. Efnisien being wrong about this in Underline the Black is like...the right thing to be worried about. She's not done with him. And the ultimate end-game for her is getting rid of him now that he's lose his use to her.
#asks and answers#underline the black#crielle ferch fnwy#efnisien ap wledig#gwyn ap nudd#underline the rainbow#i had this wild kind of 'chicken meet the egg' or ouroborous moment#with you asking about what crielle would have been like#if gwyn hadn't been born a peak alpha#i spent 10 years of my life writing like 9 different versions of that one#until finally i gave people the#'what if crielle actually got the son she always wanted'#sldkfjaslfksad#anyway anon that one has been answered in my writing!#so you might want to look at some of the other fae tales stories#spoils of the spoiled might be the one to look at#since that's the purest reversal of what we're seeing here#where efnisien is beloved instead#and gwyn is hated#also dr gary exists in that universe too#administrator gwyn wants this in the queue
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Finally watched the final season of the Umbrella Academy. Gotta say, I don't think I have ever felt this betrayed by a series before.
#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#disclaimer: just my opinion#I didn't watch game of thrones but now I know what fans must have felt like during that finale#it started out so well#but then it went down the drain#I like the idea of the plot#and I think it's mostly well executed#it just needed more time#and a few more rewrites#it felt like the writers didn't bother to rewatch their own show#like#why does Luther have the ape body when that was never part of his power#why does Allison completely forget that she can rumor people#why did they decide to include a love story between a woman and a guy 15 years her junior?#technically it's fine because they are both of age or something like that#but why?#It's just so out of character for Five#and him abandoning his siblings during the apocalypse to mope about it is just so wrong#also also#they can remove the marigold from their bodies#why didn't they just do that instead of sacrificing themselves#there also are still a bunch of other children left that were affected by the marigold what about them?#The visual effects also visibly got worse as the season went on#like the ending is sad for sure but I couldn't take it seriously#I'll assume the show ended with season 3#because seriously#what the actual fuck was this?
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2024🎓
Little warning of eye strain!!
Yes, your girl graduate I am so done with hs right✋🏼😒
#class of 24#Your girl graduate#no school#I'm free#No content drawings#No fanart#Just me celebrating my final year#college#Great now l got to take that#In fall semester#digital aritst#Senior graduate#NO MORE TOXIC#NO MORE APS#no more school#home at last#Eye strain#tw eyestrain#Hide your eyes#Pride month#Lol and it was today#bisexual#bisexaul#Myself as bi
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i mean i think we have to break up before christmas or so which is gonna be really embarrassing but its gonna avert the mutual emotional devastation that would be happening in early may
#its my fucking junior year. my parents cant know she even exists#this creates the conditions of me maintaining a secret relationship#with 4 ap tests. hosa comp if im lucky. spelling comp because theres no other option for me.#my recert and orientation for lifeguarding. figuring out fucking PROM. all my other bullshit finals#state vase also if im lucky. and organizing end of year events for multiple clubs#being kind of bitchy to anyone whos clingy to me would be the BEST option.#worst ill be indirectly violent or say some dumb shit and block yr number then have too much pride to unblock it#like ok. we deserve each other but she deserves someone who can commit to her more#(now that im saying that it would be the best rationale i can give tbh)#i dont wanna break up bc i like being with her but i have to schedule everything w my already wack fucking schedule#i can never have her over or tell my parents im going out w her and barely any of my friends know her#and honestly i dont want to break up bc it would make me sad and lonely#but i dont want to like. wait until i find a better girl because holy fuck thats insane#better meaning literally just easier. cis boyfriend that my parents like or cis Gal Pal that i can hang out with all the time#because the sneaking around shit is so much of my emotional bandwidth
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Me: I got a 25 on the ACT!
Mom: it won't get you into BYU, especially with your math grade the way it is.
Me: I have a 3.7 GPA, and I can always retake the ACT?
Mom: you're going to need a really good admissions essay if you want to get into BYU.
Me: thanks, mom.
#25 without even studying#so anyways now i don't want to tell her about my AP test score#it's a 3 which means that I passed#but at the same time#I'm always told to do better#and there's no validation there#just do better so you can get into your dream school#like mother. i'm trying!#but do you know what straight a's get me? panic attacks every time i get anything less than an A#do you want to repeat 9th grade where i was told that every second counted towards college and you'd have to hold me#as i cried at 10 pm at night because I thought I wasn't good enough#and it's taken me literal years to finally reach the conclusion that my grades aren't everything and even then i still panic#whenever i get anything less than a C#the math grade was an outlier from a set of horrible circumstances#i finished 11th with 5 A's two B's and a D and you come after me for the D#it's always 'do better; your grades suck' when I have one bad grade#i'm taking 3 AP classes next year because I want to college credit#I was on the honor roll the entirety of junior high#I'm working towards a chord at graduation#maybe one day i'll be praised for everything i've sacrificed just to be good enough#i know that I need better grades and scores for BYU#and I've literally been working my ass off to get into BYU my entire life
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let me roam a department store in the couple hours before it closes while i wear headphones and listen to jazz music and i’ll be happy for the rest of my life
#queue 🦋#it brings me so much joy and i don’t even know why#especially when it’s higher end stuff#like YES let me cosplay being rich and imagine what cookware and bedding id buy#it’s so therapeutic for some reason idk#ITS THE PEAK COMFORT ACTIVITY FOR AUTUMN/WINTER TOO#a warm cup of cocoa + christmas music playing thru my headphones. IM GONE!!#everything is just so#right idk#the lights and the layouts are so satisfying to me#i love when the displays are pretty too and how everything is organised so neatly#i just love pretty things#ive only ever been to a few but its always so so much fun just browsing through everything#KITCHEN GADGETS >>#house appliances in general 😞😞 sign me tf up#me when i research the best vacuums on google for hours for literally no reason#idk why my brain is like this#ANYWAYS.#i need to go to department stores more often… the way id kill to work at one#(so she says but she’s probs be insanely overstimulated during peak hours)#LET ME BE A CLEANER AT A DEPARTMENT STORE PLEASE!!!! MY DREAM JOB THERE I SAID IT I DONT CARE#when they decorate it for christmas too …. [insane ape noises]#one of my goals this year is to FINALLY take a day trip to london by myself and just. spend the day browsing a bookstore + ending the night#walking thru selfridges or harrods#is this weird#anyways#♡ dear diary…
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telling the psychiatrist who gets me my adhd medication that i dont have abnormal anxiety except now im pulling another anxiety-driven all nighter because every time i close my eyes i feel slightly like im going to die from thoughts
the moral of this story is dual enrollment sucks
#rat.txt#anxiety#adhd#i am having so much fucking fun /sarcasm#also im hanging out with a friend i havent seen in awhile at 10 (its 4 rn)#and i have a job interview on monday (tomorrow)#and my dual enrollment class starts on tuesday#except it doesnt if i accidentally fucked everything up#but my anxiety and anxiety driven executive dysfunction have not let me open my computer at all#so i dont know if i accidentally fucked shit up#i finally opened my college email account for the first time earlier this week#<- id had it for over a month#i am going to die on tuesday but at least i can ride the marta instead of drive#the second moral of this story is driving sucks#also on monday afternoon i have to feed the beighbor’s cat#<- i will be laying on their kitchen floor just vibing with the chonky girl#and my class is tuesday from 10-13:30. but the marta is slow and i am anxious so ill be waking up at 7:30ish#and then from 15:30 until like 20:00ish im volunteering to help run the concession stand at my siblings’ swim meet#also im staying with my dad this week (hes cool dw) but ill probably wnd up driving to my mom’s to hang out with my cat#and dying in the process#also i have summer work for ap calculus i havent even been able to open#and my ap lang teacher (who i wont have next year) assigned us summer book reviews but he’s cool and i dont want to dissapoint him#also ap exam scores come out in like july#<- i either did amazing or terribly. no in between#vent post#dual enrollment sucks
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Hey guys. gay rights
#i already made the sonic one a while bc yknow. kinnie stuff youve all seen my blog theme#but then i was wearing my Fearless Year of Shadow(tm) shirt along with it and my irl bff was like.#'why are you wearing a sonic bracelet with that shirt if you love shadow so much 🤨' *#(he doesnt know much about sth stuff but ive infodumped abt shadow and his backstory to him many times)#and i was like 😭😭 BECAUSE I DONT HAVW A SHADOW KANDI BUT I WANNA MAKE ONE. I WILL SOON#so. now i do!! taking my ad/derall on the weekends always make me want to make more kandi. its great!#and yknow what else it makes me want to do...... talk more on here >:3333#me and my dad are gonna go to a local jazz festival this afternoon bc our jazz combo is playing at it!!#itll be fun. my dad said hes gonna get some food from this really good breakfast place on the way thwre#which is not the best part. the best part is outside the shop there is a wonderful kitty cat who hangs around the parking lot#bc hes owned by the ppl who own the bar right next door#its so great. everybody knows him (the cat) and loves him. the v/ape shop next door has a tip door set up for him even though the#bar owner ppl take care of him and take him to the vet nd stuff. my dad found a faceb/ook page somebody made for him#and apparently it just has pictures of ppl at the bar holding him. its so great and hilarious. this cat is so loved#by the v/ape shop people. by random people at this beachtown bar. by the breakfast shop people.#anyways uh. this post was abkut kandi wasnt it 😭😭😭 lol#cherry chortles#anyways the add/er/all also usually makes me want to look at and sort through my pkmn card collection. so imma do that#because my dads friend (and my friend too i guess! me and him exchange cat photos bc he has this adorable chunky cat named gremlin) that we#play bar trivia with on tuesdays (dw its not really even a bar. its mostly a restaurant) asked me abt my pokemon card collection#bc the final question was to put a few franchises (it was like. dora the ecplora and spide/rman etc. and pokemon) in order of revenue#and obvs pokemon was the top. bc of factors like the trading cards so thats how that came up#we didnt bet any of our points btw but we almost! got it right! the order was pk/mn dora spidamen friends (the tv seies) but we had spidman#as second. but we still won!! our team is on a two game winning streak!!! we always split the money so next week ill get another 8 dolla >:3#wow i havent hit tag limit yert#lol. yall'll open the 'see all tags' thing and boom. do you love the color of the sky type shit 😭😭😭#sorry that sounds too much like aave. i (white baby) cant be sayin that#cherrys kandi#okay well i had a tag with a verse from the ultimarw showdown bc i didnt know what else to say#but with my kandi tag and these two tags i have hit tag limit. thank you folks ill be here all night
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God i hate the american education system
#About a lot of things but right now its about me finally re enrolling for my english degree and my advisor being like ummmmmm we need#Your ap scores to give you credit for english 101 like hey maybe the fact that my previous institution already did and and that i completed#Two almost three years of an english degree already means you should just fucking waive it its fucking english 101 😐#And im giving them my goddamn ap scores they have to go through paper mail for no good goddamn reason though so 😐 maybe ill just explode#Classes start in 12 days btw 😁😁😁#Im so sorry to my academic advisor because im gonna be fucking bitchy and its not her fault but christ#Also like. They want me to? Get syllabi from my previous classes or something too? Which thats. Unreasonable hello? I dont even remember#What professors i had for those or how to access a fucking? Years old syllabus? Hello?#Anyways good morning and since im talking about college everyone keep paying attention to and supporting palestine protests on campuses
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finally applied for a job wildly out of my pay grade and skillset for the first time ever. and it's for the same place i have an interview for tomorrow, where i've applied for their lower positions that are more to my skillset before.
#life#about me#shut up ilona#ilona's work thoughts#ilona's work dilemmas#ilona's jobhunting thoughts and woes lol#it's an APS 5 planner position at the NDIA where the higher end of the pay grade is 89;000#where as the other positions i'm applying for (APS 1-3) are more of my skillset and entry pay grade of anywhere between 55k to 70k#but might as well try since they're FINALLY interviewing me tomorrow for the aps 3 level job i've applied for twice (once last year....#....and like last month.... but they rejected me last year bc i didnt have enough experience....#....and was out of work for too long once i finally applied for it lol.. the pay grade for this is 63k to 70k#...and tbh the aps 4 one i tried doing earlier this year i didnt even finish lol but that pay grad was 71k to 78k
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