#and i have a job interview on monday (tomorrow)
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I know it's almost the end of the week but I just realized that free bus week being the same as ace week is very ace rights of my city. They did that for me
#also my interview went well today (won't know if i got the job until Monday but it looks like I've got a good chance)#AND im having a meeting tomorrow with a prominent queer activist in my area so im super excited about that#this has been such a good week 💜#2pm in the morning
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up next on chapter 36 of idol sengen… _(:3 」∠)_
#(my toxic trait is that i’ll complain about my work endlessly but still end up doing it anyway… eventually.)#there’s rant 1 (ft. a need to deduce what asuna is saying in full) and rant 2 (which is available in full but still…)#there’s also another mona-rambling session in chapter 38… that im not touching with a 50 foot pole#(all you need to know for that mona-rambling [about frusu] is that mona’s frusu oshi is all of them)#(and that she thinks miyu is like *the* pinnacle of centres in idol groups)#(also someone won a junior dance competition but idk who bc it’s obscured lmao)#can i outsource these panels for a corn chip lmaoooo#m. maybe i should’ve actually worked on this while i was still unemployed last month huh…#bc excuse me company wdymmmmmm im starting work next monday?? the interview was just this monday hello?#ig the interviewer was legit when she said ‘so if i asked you if you can start work next monday—’ huh…#sigh… maybe ch 36 next month then… i’ll do my best over the weekend thoughhhhh#seriously though why is this volume so text heavy l m a o i really wanna get to chapter 40 but…#and then there’s the hard to clean text boxes which… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#…though i guess i should just count myself lucky that the chapters are still short enough to fit into a single post (with the image limits)#but dang. i just realised that my manga sengen thing has a page on manga updates lmao#who put it there lmaooooo and why is it only up till vol 2? wait. no. what. why does it link to manga.dex#bc dang. someone really had the time to dl the thing image by image? no wonder why they stopped after vol 2…#guess i might as well say why i dont want people to reupload my tls… since we’re in the final stretch and all#so. aside from the obvious ‘idw the creators to find out about it’… i probably made a ton of mistakes while tling it. esp in the early chaps#so i’d like to. y’know. have the chance to update the tls where possible. i’ve done that a couple of times already tbh.#like with rippei’s name post-vol 4 release. and some of the typesetting is p. gross in the early chaps tbvh#i swear tling idol sengen has made me incredibly conscious of grammar and typesetting like you wouldnt believe#esp with official tls… fan tls will always be perfect to me no matter how wonky the wording bc it’s hard but honest work yk#official tls (esp a.i tls) get no concessions from me bc it’s their job that they’re getting paid to do yk.#in any case (if you’ve read this far) if you see any mistakes in the tl please lemme know~~~ please dont hold back on your criticisms ok~~~?#just sound ‘em out in dms here or sth. don’t worry~~~ i won’t eat y’all if you try to correct me~~~~~ unless you’re the md reuploader (jk)#and ik i disabled comments on the other blog (or tried to at least) but that’s bc idw bots to flood the comments bc that’s annoying as he—#anyways sorry for the idol sengen wait (if anyone was waiting for it…) i’ll improve on my work ethic… tomorrow. maybe.
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Small Incendiary Update:
T-minus 24 hours until Chapter 10 of Incendiary drops!
I've made some dialogue edits and added additional scenes in Chapter 10 that makes this chapter bump up to 9.4k words from it's previous 8.4k, oops sorry not sorry. :) But that definitely makes this chapter tie almost neck to neck with the longest chapter in Incendiary so far, that title taken by Chapter 3 at a whopping 9.5k words!
Let this make up for the fact that I may not be releasing Chapter 11 for some time, since it's still very much in the rough draft phase of writing and I'm still writing the beginning part of it. By some time, that I'm not really sure of. It entirely depends on how soon I manage to get a new job, or not. It may be a month, it may be a few weeks. But as of right now, I'm actively writing Chapter 11 during my downtime every day!
If I have a feeling that it might take a while to release, I may drop a teaser here on tumblr for you guys to read as an early sneak peak so you aren't left completely high and dry, cause I know how that feels being a reader too. And I love all of y'all. <3 Thanks for reading this update!
#I'm already losing track of the days y'all oh my god like I nearly forgot tomorrow was next chapter release day already LOL#everything has been putting my brain in a blender with job hunting and planning to move across the state when I DO get a job#going from a decent paying technical support wfh job to suddenly applying for grocery stores again in the same month is !!! very much sad#I had an interview with Trader Joe's having worked there before but still have yet to get a callback for the second interview#callbacks would get sent out Monday the latest they said#no replies yet but my application online still says in process so hoooooplease fingers crossed for me :')#ty guys so much for supporting me during these trying times ILY ALL <333#even when my life is in shambles I still have Incendiary
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okay 👍sobbed my heart out to the new Fontaines album (and my friend's interview with them)👌 now I'm off to go prepare for my own interview with the band Adult DVD, life is fun
#radio stuff#ignoring the fact that I actually have to write a proof literally no one has written in the history of proofs for my actual job on monday#you know the kind of proofs where '1 example disproves it but it could take years to prove it'? It's that 💀 prove that data is truly random#girl. I can prove your data is not random. But you don't want me to prove that. Because you have spent time trying to properly model it#and not had a very high accuracy. How tf do I prove your data is random. I am googling furiously#anyway it's a busy weekend! I'm interviewing Adult DVD tomorrow and then meeting a potential bandmate in the evening#and then come home cry cry cry about this proof#and then Sunday as you all well know it's Fontaines album listen time#so well. Yay!
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telling the psychiatrist who gets me my adhd medication that i dont have abnormal anxiety except now im pulling another anxiety-driven all nighter because every time i close my eyes i feel slightly like im going to die from thoughts
the moral of this story is dual enrollment sucks
#rat.txt#anxiety#adhd#i am having so much fucking fun /sarcasm#also im hanging out with a friend i havent seen in awhile at 10 (its 4 rn)#and i have a job interview on monday (tomorrow)#and my dual enrollment class starts on tuesday#except it doesnt if i accidentally fucked everything up#but my anxiety and anxiety driven executive dysfunction have not let me open my computer at all#so i dont know if i accidentally fucked shit up#i finally opened my college email account for the first time earlier this week#<- id had it for over a month#i am going to die on tuesday but at least i can ride the marta instead of drive#the second moral of this story is driving sucks#also on monday afternoon i have to feed the beighbor’s cat#<- i will be laying on their kitchen floor just vibing with the chonky girl#and my class is tuesday from 10-13:30. but the marta is slow and i am anxious so ill be waking up at 7:30ish#and then from 15:30 until like 20:00ish im volunteering to help run the concession stand at my siblings’ swim meet#also im staying with my dad this week (hes cool dw) but ill probably wnd up driving to my mom’s to hang out with my cat#and dying in the process#also i have summer work for ap calculus i havent even been able to open#and my ap lang teacher (who i wont have next year) assigned us summer book reviews but he’s cool and i dont want to dissapoint him#also ap exam scores come out in like july#<- i either did amazing or terribly. no in between#vent post#dual enrollment sucks
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WHAT mental illness? WHAT autism? WHERE?
#i worked monday and then I had a long team meeting#i worked tuesday and then i had drinks and dinner til late#i woke up early this morning and spent all day at a museum with my niece#and i just took a shower and am heading out in 30 minutes for dinner with my father for his birthday#i got a super busy day at work tomorrow. gotta do groceries cook take a shower self tan and watch a show with my sister#friday i got my job interview and some shoppjng#Saturday im gonna go say bye to a coworker whos leaving#and im still fine at this moment#it all went well#actually having fun#will this result in sleepless nights and a menty b on saturday? yeah....#but rn im feeling stable as FUCK#actually the menty b will be tomorrow#personal
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"visit one of our stores" shut up you absolute wank stains you're literally just saying that in the hope of increasing your sales aren't you like the desired response is for me to go "oh dear i need to visit a whsmiths to prepare for my job interview well i suppose i might as well i wonder if there's anything i need to buy from there at the same time well i could do with an extremely overpriced notebook actually hm ok jolly good i'll pop along" shut up cunts you don't fucking fool me.
actually this reminds me of when i did an interview for m&s and in the email they sent me before it they said that when i get there i should walk around the store for 5-10 minutes beforehand. and because i can be very serious and anxious about such instructions i diligently did that. and then in the interview they barely gave a shit they asked me what did you notice and what would you improve etc and then swiftly moved on. the interviewer clearly attached no importance whatsoever to my responses. they were basically just using that as a chance to collect customer feedback. anyway hello the beautiful WHSmiths reading this please don't count it against me that im slagging you off on my social media before ive even attended the interview. Love and kisses
#oh god there's so much going on in this Monday. i did laundry then spring cleaned and got rid of a lot of dust then the job called saying#i have an interview tomorrow at 12pmwhich is after my class and also at 4pm today i have a test which i now have like 2 hrs left to revise#for and then i have to decide what on earth to wear tomorrow and maybe go to their fucking stupid shop just in case they genuinely#ask me things about their stupid products which btw is literally just stationery and magazines and overpriced art supplies and books and#nobody even shops there.
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can’t sleep on account of the agonies
#i’ve been sick since sunday night and i have a job interview tomorrow#and i leave for my conference on monday 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠
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if i had the ability to scream id wanna scream in happiness rn
#lmao anyway i got a part time job now!! im excited!!!#ill probably be less excited once uni starts again but thats not important lol#i applied monday night. got a call yesterday morning/early afternoon asking if i was available for an interview. interview today#emailed a few hours later w a job offer. COMPANY WEBSITE PROFILE SAYS HIRED#anyway ig the hack is to NOT do practice interviews and to be honest but also stretch the truth and bs some questions for what seems right#also my interviewer really liked hearing about my high school's freshman program (older students being like their high school guide)#future (aka tomorrow) amber will have to deal with cancelling the interview i scheduled for a different application and withdrawing my other#applications bc i dont want to be offered anything else atm lol#(excited this is part time since im doing full enrollment w 17 units at uni + an internship i need to put 6-8 hours per week in starting#in august but i wanted a job that i could do long term (or semi long term) bc a consistent income would be nice)#anyway pray for me ill be working retail for the first time ever but im actually excited bc i dont mind the idea of retail work#amber's shit you can ignore
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I feel like I’ve lived through at least a month just in the past 3 days. I checked the date just now and damn near had an out of body experience when I realised Monday was only two days ago
#bro the absolute sodding emotional rollercoaster i have been through this past week should be studied by scientists#thursday: unsuccessful job interview. friday: found out that the job interview was unsuccessful. but one of the interviewers (actually a#former colleague of mine lol) gave me a piece of feedback that made me feel like i’d cracked the code for all future interviews#it was this: keep. talking. give as many details as humanly fucking possible. talk about policy. drop in words like safeguarding#list as many examples of stuff as you can. tell stories. bamboozle them#OH i forgot to even fucking mention we had builders at our house until friday. friday was the last day they woke me up with a cacophony#so the weekend was uneventful aside from there was a skip in the driveway and scaffolding all down the side of the house but zero men#monday: successful interview. found out it was successful 5 hours later. got off the phone having accepted the job…… and found a text from#my old boss (the boss i had at the job i really enjoyed. that old boss) inviting me to come back this summer#i had a bit of a mental breakdown but eventually decided to stick with the job i’d just got because it’s a permanent contract and they will#let me sit down#yesterday: found out that the foster doggy i applied for and really wanted is going to her forever home on thursday (which is now tomorrow)#obviously i love this for her but i was like ‘damn. okay’#today: the foster co-ordinator was like ‘hey do you want to foster this rambunctious 3 year old unneutered terrier?’#i was like ‘sure yeah what the fuck. that might as well happen’#(they are neutering him beforehand. and he looks really cute. he’s not aggressive he’s just a young terrier with like 3 brain cells)#unless something finally kills me in the meantime i’m picking him up on monday. i cancelled therapy in order to do this. yes i’m well aware#that there’s a metaphor somewhere in there but it’s fine. i rescheduled therapy#i also have realised i do not know how and when i’m going to get my ssri prescription renewed… i know the pharmacy will call me in a couple#of weeks to make sure i haven’t died. but i think i was supposed to get a prescription renewal at therapy#the therapy i won’t be going to until like 5 days after my prescription runs out. that therapy. foook#honestly withdrawal symptoms would probably just spice up the situation at this point. they’d just make things interesting#i swear to god everything always gets crazy and stupid right before my birthday… remember when i turned 26 and couldn’t drink because i#was on antibiotics for a kidney infection. and when i turned 27 and one of my wisdom teeth tried to emerge#this is like that except with dogs and jobs. at least the skip and the scaffolding are gone now#i AM trying to sell a sofa on facebook marketplace so wish me luck with that ig#personal
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i’m the sleepiest girl in the world
#what if i cancelled my plans for tonight and went back to sleep and then i’d have all afternoon and all evening to do the study i need to do#and then tomorrow i will hopefully be enough of a person to meet a friend and have a beautiful time#and then monday i will survive a job interview and school#and tuesday i will also survive uni#and then wednesday i will go to [redacted] which will be good but exhausting again#and then thursday i get on a plane to see my family…………..
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hey pookies
#i should write#i’m staying in tomorrow bc it’s snowing#but ahhhhh class on monday was canceled so i’ll be done by 11:30 which is so nice#and then i have a job interview#grrr#sayu speaks
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#getting flashbacks to middle school right about now#because i just spent like three hours reading a whole book#putting off taking a shower and going to sleep#it was Simon vs the homosapiens agenda#i read it like three years ago#but i just rewatched the movie and so i had to reread the book#i bought it and Leah on the offbeat#and i needed to reread Simon before i read Leah#i have to wake up in less than five hours and i still need to take a shower#the problem is. im not tired#i took a nap earlier#the worst nap of my life#but now i cant fall asleep#im gonna get max four hours of sleep and then work a ten hour shift tomorrow#maybe ill just pull an all nighter and read Leah instead of sleeping#im sure that wont go wrong#i have an interview for starbucks on monday :)#im super excited because i want to quit this job#hopefully i wont have to work ten hour shifts there#okay. gonna take a shower#i kind of want to start Leah but i knew that if i start i wont be able to stop#idk. we'll see how i feel after showering
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guys. i am. exhausted.
#i went to the job interview today#they’ll call me on monday#and i am stressing the hell out bc i really want this job but i don’t know how to get out of work on monday if they want me for another#interview since it needs to move really quickly so it has to be monday or tuesday if they offer me another interview#and my brain is running wild trying to come up with a solution i don’t know how to do that#and i should be reading for book club tomorrow but holy shit i cannot concentrate at all what the fuck#i’m mentally spiraling rn i need to snap out of it idk what’s going on in my head#it went so well i’ve never left an interview with such a pleasant feeling before#but it’s also scary#and what if i get it? and then i have to quit my current job which is also fucking terrifying#idk why but it is#shit#» confidential
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Surviving the week till my birthday on Thursday is feeling like the trials of hercules at this point jesus
#i have an interview tomorrow for internship i havent done a job interview in 7 years#im pmsing and experiencing burnout AND had a massive sensory meltdown#and its only monday :)#i always have so much to do the week leading uo to my birthday that by then i dont even wanna do anything
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#Job interview tomorrow and Monday I feel……………….weird#been talking about leaving this bitch for so long it’s weird it’s actually happening#doing something non kitchen related makes me feel nauseous#I wanted some sort of chef job since I was literally 8 years old#but I been doing it for 7 yrs now and have been nothing but miserable and poor the entire time#So sorry childhood me but we have to do this for future me !
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