#<- id had it for over a month
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telling the psychiatrist who gets me my adhd medication that i dont have abnormal anxiety except now im pulling another anxiety-driven all nighter because every time i close my eyes i feel slightly like im going to die from thoughts
the moral of this story is dual enrollment sucks
#rat.txt#anxiety#adhd#i am having so much fucking fun /sarcasm#also im hanging out with a friend i havent seen in awhile at 10 (its 4 rn)#and i have a job interview on monday (tomorrow)#and my dual enrollment class starts on tuesday#except it doesnt if i accidentally fucked everything up#but my anxiety and anxiety driven executive dysfunction have not let me open my computer at all#so i dont know if i accidentally fucked shit up#i finally opened my college email account for the first time earlier this week#<- id had it for over a month#i am going to die on tuesday but at least i can ride the marta instead of drive#the second moral of this story is driving sucks#also on monday afternoon i have to feed the beighbor’s cat#<- i will be laying on their kitchen floor just vibing with the chonky girl#and my class is tuesday from 10-13:30. but the marta is slow and i am anxious so ill be waking up at 7:30ish#and then from 15:30 until like 20:00ish im volunteering to help run the concession stand at my siblings’ swim meet#also im staying with my dad this week (hes cool dw) but ill probably wnd up driving to my mom’s to hang out with my cat#and dying in the process#also i have summer work for ap calculus i havent even been able to open#and my ap lang teacher (who i wont have next year) assigned us summer book reviews but he’s cool and i dont want to dissapoint him#also ap exam scores come out in like july#<- i either did amazing or terribly. no in between#vent post#dual enrollment sucks
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tried to tell my faithful eunuch Tucker that he was basically tumblr famous, but he was too focused on defending the homestead to care
#id add this to the main post (OVER 100K WHAT???) but its already too long so new post ig loll#adventures of normalgirl#self potes-trait#(for tooth context he had to have his teeth taken out a few months ago bc they were trying to kill him) (but hes fine now)#also i actually made a slight effort with the shakespearean this time instead of picking words by vibe <3#lady normalgirl and her eunuch#10k#my doods#20k
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is a dream a want
#jaytim#tim drake#jason todd#dcu fanart#roppie tries to draw#lowkey dedicated to yasmin bcs sweet dreams was in my thoughts for this#ignore all coloring inconsistencies i worked on this in bursts over the course of 6 months shsbsbshs#but also like rip jason u ever had a dream abt someone u had neutral feelings abt and woke up w a crush?#yeah thats not what happened here jason just meditated his way into a feeling realization#and in the process montaged a whole decade of domesticity i guess :///#sorry idk how to render any less i feel like maybe id have a better output rate if i did lol#suggestive
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At last ive finished the lad
[ID: a sculpted clay figure of Eugene from Drawtectives in his Season 3 design with bleached hair. He smiles awkwardly at the viewer, holding onto his arm.
Second image shows the same sculpture from behind. End ID.]
#Yeah so i hadnt made a figure in months 🤓☝️#drawfee#drawtectives#drawtectives fanart#eugene finch#drawfee fanart#claytectives#drawtectives season 3#drawtectives s3#midnight alley#i actually finished this yesterday but had like a moment and repainted his mouth because i was crying so bad about it being bad#also this is the first figure i took pictures of in good lighting and a makeshift studio in the backyard#dont tell anyone i was 70 percent done on it and proceeded to start over on everything except the face like 2 weeks ago#TYSM anistarrose for id again!!
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the place me and my roommate were supposed to move into today was so disgusting and uninhabitable we just took our stuff and left and now we're gonna be staying at airbnbs and hotels until further notice/until we can find a new place hopefully quickly...........im in my homeless drifter era y'all!!!😍😍so if im not as active then thats why LMFAO
1 like = 1 prayer
#bro was literally trying to rent us a silent hill apartment#we already paid first and last too which was 2700k and he said hes not gonna refund us EVEN THO WE DIDNT EVEN MOVE IN!!#like first month i get BUT NOT EVEN THE SECOND MONTH?? all landlords go to hell#looking back at the og listing like.....yeah i can see why he never took pics of the outside......literally looks like a landfill😃#we're SO LUCKY that uhaul allowed us to keep our things stored with them bc if they insisted on our shit still being dropped off#we woulda been so screwed/forced to move in and then would have had to hire ANOTHER uhaul to move back OUT lol#AND I HATE MOVING the idea of unloading all of our stuff just to pack it again literally makes me wanna perish#but even tho i may be a homeless drifter rn that wont stop me from also working on my oneshot between searching for places😍#the oneshot has a smut scene at the beginning LMAO and smut takes me forever to write so id been putting it off#but now that im over that hump (pun intended) i think ill be faster now brrrrrrrrrrr 9k words so far#its probs gonna be like 40k LMFAO maybe longer... idek#but also ill be hella busy trying to find a home so LMFAO who knows...chat im so fucking TIREDDDDD🧎♀️🧎♀️#my moms trying to see if she can fight him and get our money back but it aint lookin good bros#if i randomly open commissions then youll also know why LMAO
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i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece
#ill watch it at some point but despite my silence i have been like obsessively anxious about this cartoon#and pestered my friend to watch it for me sDFJKL#in a month this will have either ruined pnf for me forever or i'll have changed my mind and i like it actually its fine#for now anyway i have tons of comic sketches about perry's muteness that i no longer wanna finish and share...maybe someday but not now#i had a rly great day actually but now im falling asleep in bed tipsy and a little teary over this. cuz i love perry a lot he's#really special to me. i also got that star wars perry shirt in the mail today btw. and. it's such a good pj shirt#but back on topic#it sucks when an aspect of a character that is CORE to your appreciation of them becomes casually disregarded by the writers at some point#like im certainly not ever accepting an interpretation of perry like 'secretly hed really like to be able to talk' because its#never ever been communicated. like the idea that heinz wd prefer if perry was human. its just not in the show. the opposite is true in fact#so im left feeling stupid for caring about something that some writers(inc. dan) felt was unimportant. makes me not wanna continue my art#which sux cuz i like my comic ideas! id love to finish them. i hope i get over this.#i overreact to live-updating media when im fixated on it wh is why i prefer getting into dead fandoms haha#but they keep on bringing them back to life dont they...im never safe#it was funny me trying to explain to my friend why i efel so strongly about this meanwhile hes tried to explain why he feels so strongly ab#ut AYA and my stance on that episode has always just been “cute! its fine” lmao#@ dwampy you guys made the show that follows a specific rhythm and set of rules designed to appeal to obsessive autistic brained people ok#you invited my overreaction. unsheathes katana etc#ok im goint to sleep#meta
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Here was the start and the end of my sonic art back in 2022-2023, pride month sonic posts :)
#sonic fanart#sonic the hedgehog#tails the fox#knuckles the echidna#amy rose#cream the rabbit#blaze the cat#big the cat#silver the hedgehog#froggy#rouge the bat#shadow the hedgehog#tikal the echidna#cheese the chao#pride month#cosmo the seedrian#ive improved my art a lot over the last year#and you can see the difference between these two years#maybe id make another version this year but no promises#love how 'orange' both years had a chao lol#i was making a rainbow with characters lmao
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an ending to my Ace Attorney Time Travel AU, sorta. This was drawn when SaveDataTeam finished the Great Ace Attorney Chronicles, but it's only the end of this chapter of the series! There's lots more to come as Susato and Ryunosuke end up in the future once more to meet the Apollo Justice cast, which will start posting in a week from now!
#the 'though it felt like a couple of years' doesnt make sense if youre seeing this thru this blog :sob:#it makes more sense if you had watched me sending this in the savedatateam streams bc i had been drawing the series for over 2 years at tha#point. but posting it here on tumblr its only been over a months ldkfjlsdkjf#aa time travel au#ace attorney#the great ace attorney#ryunosuke naruhodo#susato mikotoba#phoenix wright#maya fey#artists on tumblr#id in alt text
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Btw if you come on holidays and stay at an AirBnb instead of an actual registered hotel I hate you personally. Not "I hate the gentrification and touristic massification and the way we can't live in our homes and are forced to move away because of tourism" in an abstract way- No, not just that. I hate you.
#I'm from a seaside town that has become popular with tourists who come for the beach and the mediterranean climate#and the typical whitewashed walls of mediterranean coastal towns#in just a few years the average rent has gone up so much that now the average rent id#*is over 1000€ per month#one thousand!#that's a whole salary!#in the past 2 years they've been building a new neighbourhood. they've destroyed the vinyeards to make a new neighbourhood that will make#the town 1/3 bigger than it is. that's a lot. but all those houses are luxury houses with private swimming pools for rich foreigners (we#already have 2 private British schools high schools and college(in the british sense)/baccalaureate where their kids go and never have to#interact with locals. I teach some of those kids and they're very prejudiced against locals and very bigoted against the catalan language#(which ofc they never bother to learn)#there's a law in catalonia that says that for every certain amount of houses you build you are obligated to build a certain percentage of#affordable housing. so in this new neighborhood they built the bare minumum affordable housing which is still too expensive for us#and since there's so few of them everyone is competing to get them. the city hall and the bank have had to make an official competition for#them but you only classify if the renr would not be more than 1/3rd of your salary which is impossible. my cousins who are in their mid 30s#and have been working a good qualified job for 15 years (and their partners too) are considered too poor to be considered for the#affordable housing#everyone is having to move out to other cities away from their friends and family and current jobs. the only jobs left here soon will be#mostly directed at tourists#and the only way to continue living here if you're a normal person and not rich is if you're an only child who one day might inherit the#parents' house#but we look around at what's happening in nearby cities and we see the next step which will be airbnb taking the houses that are left#in many places (I've posted about thia before) there aren't any flats for rent or sell anymore that isn't an airbnb#I'm still lucky in my town when compared to other places like Barcelona which are already full of the airbnb plague#actualitat#airbnb#tourism#touristic massification#gentrification
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im really normal about them <- lie
#ace attorney#mia fey#diego armando#miego#lorillee.png#THATS RIGHT BABY. AFTER -um . hold on. *checks notes* - SIX MONTHS. LORILLEE IS BACK WITH PHOTOSHOP ART 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥#every now and again i like to put effort into something just to remind everybody that i can actually draw#well i say that but to be honest i put a lot of effort into those ms paint ''diego fey REAL'' doodles#but half of that is just because humans are a . something. to draw. and urban backgrounds are my worst nemesis#and also trying to work with ms paint to like slightly transform things is an incredible pain in the behind#anyways. yeagh 😎👍 behold the power of miego. getting me to actually finish something in photoshop for the first time in months#anyways. ive discovered the secret to getting me to draw stuff on photoshop. prepare yourselves accordingly#what i need to do is sketch & line something in ms paint. and then directly trace it over into photoshop#and then i can go ham#see because the reason i never did this before was because i would sketch things in ms paint#and try to line them in photoshop and it simply Wouldnt Work.#so i had assumed that if i wanted to draw in photoshop id have to sketch in it first. yknow. which i cannot do for some reason#something about the way the pen feels and the . its like the smoothing setting is on even when its on 0 percent. you know. anyways#but with this one i drew mia in ms paint as per usual . and i wanted to mess around with color & light#and i triedddd to do it in ms paint but unfortunately as you can probably imagine. doing stuff like this without layer filters#can get a little difficult. if you know what youre doing its obviously going to be easier but that being said i do not#when i pick colors i am literlaly just wildly guessing 😭🙏 which is fine for more straightforward coloring/shading#but not quite here. which is why i wanted to take a stab at it in the first place#so anyways i was like FINE WHATEVER and tried tracing the lineart in photoshop so i could take a stab at coloring in there#and i was . enlightened. (no pun intended). it WORKS#so anyways . you may actually be able to expect. some photoshop art from me#well ok thats a lie never expect art from me. but we can all dream together#anyways they really are the star-crossed doomed by the narrative romance ever. everything to me
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Look at these stickers my brain is literally so huge. God. I love them so much.
I hadn't tried to do a sticker sheet at home before because I knew it would be difficult, and I was right! Getting the cut lines to line up with the print was super hard and there were many failed attempts, but it was so worth it I'm so happy with them!!!
This sticker sheet is for my patrons this month ^^
#like seriously I wasted like 10 entire sheets#normally when I do stickers I get to arrange them on a 'print and cut' sheet#which basically has these black marks in the corners that the machine can scan so it can cut based off of where those marks were#so it gets to line up muuuch easier#but with this I didnt want to have just like 2 sticker sheets a page... I wanted to have 4 for an 8.5x11 piece of paper?#cause of obvious reasons I feel#cause the print and cut takes an inch all around#I'm not sure it would be replicable either tbh? like if I were to design another sheet I would have to waste a bunch of papers again#cause for some reason the individual cut lines werent like... it wasnt like it was just entirely offset or entirely scaled 1:1#it was like some parts had to scoot up some spots had to scoot over some down whatever#so I think I would have to print cut and test again#but. also I did all that and realized. I could have been testing this on normal pieces of paper... I didnt have to use sticker paper#its fine! just makes me feel less bad about trying to do this again in the future#the sticker paper isnt that expensive this wasnt terrible#anyways. might do more in the future! I only have one other idea right now for a sticker sheet bt I wanna do it eventually#not like I wont ever have other ideas. obviously.#I just generally try to only make stuff that i'd actually wanna have so i'm not trying to make a ton of designs or whatever#this is actually also why i'm often sort of... late? on the patreon designs#not late like i send them out as soon as payments get processed for that month the design was for#but ideally id be making them ahead of time enough that people could sign up or sign off if theyre interested or not...#but I just dont wanna make a design that feels procedural... I CAN but I wanna make things that are creative and worth paying for!#so. I often will spend multiple days mulling over ideas for that months designs. so I'm not very ahead at all haha#anyways. yeah these are for october and then I've also gotta draw a halloween themed drawing for this year in general that will be the prin#i lov halloween#anyways.#patreon#merch#my bf didnt get it the gravestone box. its like a nerds box shaped like a gravestone...#and the nerds are. ghosts... its good. its good okay you agree
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guys how do you explain to your friends who have suffered for months hearing u yap about one specific character that youre losing intrest in said character
#I ALWAYS FEEL SO BAD WHEN I START LOSING HYPERFIXATIONS😭🙏#hehe guys im havinh a conundrum#my brain worms have decided werehog and stupid vampire man from old book are silly#i never thought at any era in mh life id be into twilight#god please helo me#edward cullen WHEN I GET YOU#you too sonic youre not out of this either#mf werehog bro#PLEASE HELO ME MY POOR PINTREST MOOTS WHO FOLLOWED ME FOR TTS😭🙏#sorry fam my brain had other plans!!!#ngl this is probably one of those hyperfixations i get for like 2 months because of the dopamine kick i get#and then i go back to beinh chronic over my previous fixation😭🙏#so if u guys start seeing me beinh less active/postinh about other things not related to tts just know thats why#also hunger games#i think my brain is making me read#like i have bad data at my house so i cant use ao3 so i moved over to physical books#and ive never read twilight before bcuz i thought it wasnt for me#thats always how i am oh my god#but like my teacher told me to read it#and my mom has all the hunger games books and i havent read anythinh from that series either(but i have watched the movies)#so like#im having a book lover mentally ill teen girl moment#hey atleast bbg pintrest has my back❤️#pintrest is my og#yall dont fw pintrest like i do
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I was gonna post something about dreading how shit this week is going to be. But then I realized it's probably going to be shit until late January, so. Please pray for my blood pressure and health 😭
#im really scared icl 😭#also if i had to go through months of non stop political ads and texts and emails and anxiety and and and-#only for it to not end well. my fucking god.#aaaghhh it just fucking sucks election day really isnt a 'day'#its actually just. election year.#ive been consumed by it for probably at least half this year#but not only all that thats been going on#its gonna take days for them to count the ballots probably#and in that time theres gonna be like. 5 billion lawsuits. cause thats a thing apparently#and then all that shit is going to continue until what. January 20th?#no matter the result things are going to be chaotic i feel like#but truly i am desperately manifesting gaaaahhhh fuck im so done with all this#FREE ME PLEASE I JUST WANT TO BE FUCKING FREE#also fuck whichever guy put election day so close before thanksgiving and christmas#idk it all just really fucking sucks. this year hasn't been good for me#so i love that in addition to my already terrible baseline level of anxiety-#ive had another level piled on top of me#which can only possibly get worse 😭#id almost prefer the political ads in perpetuity rather than actually face tuesday and beyond#god. fuck this.#i feel like im gonna have to knock myself out and not go online on monday and tuesday at this rate#how am i even going to get myself to sleep when theres constantly eternal doom hanging over me#catie.rambling.txt
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on episode two of silicon valley. i hate to say this but its really overwhelming to carnally need this many characters at once
#im sorry women#i might have mono again so. ill blame that#1) i dont have to explain erlich 2) i dont have to explain dinesh 3) i latched onto gilfoyle as roman in party down 4) thomas middleditch#5) jared. jared. jared. jared. jared. jared. jared. jared.#he didnt piss until he had permission. he apologized for sleeping. im sure he had a really normal relationship with galvin belson#hes somewhere among cousin greg alex horne and estellise sidos heurassein#hes. hes. hes. j a r e d#also i may or may not have listened to a specific podfic over 1000 times over the course of the past couple months#which may have impacted me#yes without watching the show shut up. id seen bits and pieces
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I also lost my cat recently. it's horrible. take care of yourself, ok? you'll be ok.
yeah dude its fucking awful... im sorry for your loss too :( i wish they could live forever with us. or at least as much as possible.... my boy wasnt even a senior, he was around 10 years old and i had had him for 8..
#like if he had been like 12... id be like okay he's an old kitty...this was gonna happen#but i wasnt prepared for it to happen like this. i was so desperate that nothing i did could help him#nothing helped. no ultrasound no x ray no cardiology check up no blood test no antibiotics. nothing could figure out what was wrong#and then it was too late. just that whole situation (been going on since june) had me so crazy#and then this last month was a fucking nightmare it happened so fast. like i wasnt prepared#u cant ever be prepared i guess... but idk i wish it wouldve been different#i wish he had died of old age instead. or at least i wish we knew what caused him to be so sick.#like if i was told its idk. cancer. and its taken over and hes gonna die#it wouldve been awful too. of course. but i wouldve known. i wouldve been told.#i wouldnt have had to watch him get to the point he got and accept that whatever he had. it didnt matter anymore. because it beat him.#it sucks so bad it sucks so bad. its so unfair.#sorry for venting in my tags ig. whatever. fuck everything this world is fucked and evil#personal
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the immortal urge to see if my country has blaze on tumblr, just so i can make more people suffer with the elrond pregnancy post.
#—ruthuifin#featuring the unwilling participation in this monstrosity (and threats to our already dying bank account) of orchalon#srsly we already spent 70% of our money on HoME. WE HAD BEEN SAVING UP FOR OVER A YEAR TO BUY STUFF#and cóleblain shews up w/ all 12 volumes of HoME & the confession that he DOES NOT KNOW WHAT VALUE OUR CURRENCY EVEN HAS#this is the real horror movie in having DID#THIS.#id rather have the coffee grounds bath than this ngl#at least that one doesnt result in financial devastation by an elf who failed to be a twink#four months' allowance gone in seconds. just so he could find out where babies come from.#and if marriages can be consummated like if richard iii became a sailor#worst thing is that the reality is WORSE than throwing wine bottles at innocent elves before going sailing. its somehow WORSE#(all rants are courtesy of Orchalon. who has Had Enough Of This Damned System [and family])
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