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telling the psychiatrist who gets me my adhd medication that i dont have abnormal anxiety except now im pulling another anxiety-driven all nighter because every time i close my eyes i feel slightly like im going to die from thoughts
the moral of this story is dual enrollment sucks
#rat.txt#anxiety#adhd#i am having so much fucking fun /sarcasm#also im hanging out with a friend i havent seen in awhile at 10 (its 4 rn)#and i have a job interview on monday (tomorrow)#and my dual enrollment class starts on tuesday#except it doesnt if i accidentally fucked everything up#but my anxiety and anxiety driven executive dysfunction have not let me open my computer at all#so i dont know if i accidentally fucked shit up#i finally opened my college email account for the first time earlier this week#<- id had it for over a month#i am going to die on tuesday but at least i can ride the marta instead of drive#the second moral of this story is driving sucks#also on monday afternoon i have to feed the beighbor’s cat#<- i will be laying on their kitchen floor just vibing with the chonky girl#and my class is tuesday from 10-13:30. but the marta is slow and i am anxious so ill be waking up at 7:30ish#and then from 15:30 until like 20:00ish im volunteering to help run the concession stand at my siblings’ swim meet#also im staying with my dad this week (hes cool dw) but ill probably wnd up driving to my mom’s to hang out with my cat#and dying in the process#also i have summer work for ap calculus i havent even been able to open#and my ap lang teacher (who i wont have next year) assigned us summer book reviews but he’s cool and i dont want to dissapoint him#also ap exam scores come out in like july#<- i either did amazing or terribly. no in between#vent post#dual enrollment sucks
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Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?
I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?
In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".
Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.
This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.
Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.
The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.
[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]
There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.
This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.
[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]
As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.
But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?
Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.
#transgender#trans history#transsexual#transphobia#Magnus Hirschfeld#holocaust#holocaust denial#book burning#j.k. rowling#jk rowling#just in case you missed what i mean by all this: go fuck yourself anon :)#trans people have always existed#and we will always exist#if you really wanna pick a fight with me over well-documented history then you better bring in some sources to back your shit#queer history#queer#lgbt+#lgbta+#lgbt#lgbt history#edit: i finally got around to those damn image IDs. i am so very sorry for totally forgetting that's my bimbo moment of the month#also real quick i thought about adding an image of the actual building but the only one i can find has a Nazi parade in front of it#it was taken the day of the book burning raid and honestly if i were to include it then i'd add it to the first few paragraphs#and i think the story's better told when you uphold the hope Magnus Hirschfeld and all the researchers he worked with had#also keeps being brought up: yes Hirschfeld was a eugenicist. it was a popular belief set that was only discredited after WW2#Hirschfeld died in 1935. he literally didn't live long enough to see science turn against those beliefs and practices#considering how he changed his mind on transitions i like to think he would've changed his mind on eugenics too if he'd lived
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the place me and my roommate were supposed to move into today was so disgusting and uninhabitable we just took our stuff and left and now we're gonna be staying at airbnbs and hotels until further notice/until we can find a new place hopefully quickly...........im in my homeless drifter era y'all!!!😍😍so if im not as active then thats why LMFAO
1 like = 1 prayer
#bro was literally trying to rent us a silent hill apartment#we already paid first and last too which was 2700k and he said hes not gonna refund us EVEN THO WE DIDNT EVEN MOVE IN!!#like first month i get BUT NOT EVEN THE SECOND MONTH?? all landlords go to hell#looking back at the og listing like.....yeah i can see why he never took pics of the outside......literally looks like a landfill😃#we're SO LUCKY that uhaul allowed us to keep our things stored with them bc if they insisted on our shit still being dropped off#we woulda been so screwed/forced to move in and then would have had to hire ANOTHER uhaul to move back OUT lol#AND I HATE MOVING the idea of unloading all of our stuff just to pack it again literally makes me wanna perish#but even tho i may be a homeless drifter rn that wont stop me from also working on my oneshot between searching for places😍#the oneshot has a smut scene at the beginning LMAO and smut takes me forever to write so id been putting it off#but now that im over that hump (pun intended) i think ill be faster now brrrrrrrrrrr 9k words so far#its probs gonna be like 40k LMFAO maybe longer... idek#but also ill be hella busy trying to find a home so LMFAO who knows...chat im so fucking TIREDDDDD🧎♀️🧎♀️#my moms trying to see if she can fight him and get our money back but it aint lookin good bros#if i randomly open commissions then youll also know why LMAO
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i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece
#ill watch it at some point but despite my silence i have been like obsessively anxious about this cartoon#and pestered my friend to watch it for me sDFJKL#in a month this will have either ruined pnf for me forever or i'll have changed my mind and i like it actually its fine#for now anyway i have tons of comic sketches about perry's muteness that i no longer wanna finish and share...maybe someday but not now#i had a rly great day actually but now im falling asleep in bed tipsy and a little teary over this. cuz i love perry a lot he's#really special to me. i also got that star wars perry shirt in the mail today btw. and. it's such a good pj shirt#but back on topic#it sucks when an aspect of a character that is CORE to your appreciation of them becomes casually disregarded by the writers at some point#like im certainly not ever accepting an interpretation of perry like 'secretly hed really like to be able to talk' because its#never ever been communicated. like the idea that heinz wd prefer if perry was human. its just not in the show. the opposite is true in fact#so im left feeling stupid for caring about something that some writers(inc. dan) felt was unimportant. makes me not wanna continue my art#which sux cuz i like my comic ideas! id love to finish them. i hope i get over this.#i overreact to live-updating media when im fixated on it wh is why i prefer getting into dead fandoms haha#but they keep on bringing them back to life dont they...im never safe#it was funny me trying to explain to my friend why i efel so strongly about this meanwhile hes tried to explain why he feels so strongly ab#ut AYA and my stance on that episode has always just been “cute! its fine” lmao#@ dwampy you guys made the show that follows a specific rhythm and set of rules designed to appeal to obsessive autistic brained people ok#you invited my overreaction. unsheathes katana etc#ok im goint to sleep#meta
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an ending to my Ace Attorney Time Travel AU, sorta. This was drawn when SaveDataTeam finished the Great Ace Attorney Chronicles, but it's only the end of this chapter of the series! There's lots more to come as Susato and Ryunosuke end up in the future once more to meet the Apollo Justice cast, which will start posting in a week from now!
#the 'though it felt like a couple of years' doesnt make sense if youre seeing this thru this blog :sob:#it makes more sense if you had watched me sending this in the savedatateam streams bc i had been drawing the series for over 2 years at tha#point. but posting it here on tumblr its only been over a months ldkfjlsdkjf#aa time travel au#ace attorney#the great ace attorney#ryunosuke naruhodo#susato mikotoba#phoenix wright#maya fey#artists on tumblr#id in alt text
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closest ill get to george russell y/nism (yuki and i are the same height)
#google says hes above 160cm but i think thats a lie (im copinggg)#ill never meet him but if i did. i would ask george to t pose and then id run over under his arm#btw yuki and i are the same age as well? his birthday is like a month after mine#if i wasnt already id be rooting for him based on sisterhoodism alone#hazel.txt#f1#george russell#<— george the only guy to get his own tag but! just for the posts i make#if i had to tag all of these people id go insane
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Btw if you come on holidays and stay at an AirBnb instead of an actual registered hotel I hate you personally. Not "I hate the gentrification and touristic massification and the way we can't live in our homes and are forced to move away because of tourism" in an abstract way- No, not just that. I hate you.
#I'm from a seaside town that has become popular with tourists who come for the beach and the mediterranean climate#and the typical whitewashed walls of mediterranean coastal towns#in just a few years the average rent has gone up so much that now the average rent id#*is over 1000€ per month#one thousand!#that's a whole salary!#in the past 2 years they've been building a new neighbourhood. they've destroyed the vinyeards to make a new neighbourhood that will make#the town 1/3 bigger than it is. that's a lot. but all those houses are luxury houses with private swimming pools for rich foreigners (we#already have 2 private British schools high schools and college(in the british sense)/baccalaureate where their kids go and never have to#interact with locals. I teach some of those kids and they're very prejudiced against locals and very bigoted against the catalan language#(which ofc they never bother to learn)#there's a law in catalonia that says that for every certain amount of houses you build you are obligated to build a certain percentage of#affordable housing. so in this new neighborhood they built the bare minumum affordable housing which is still too expensive for us#and since there's so few of them everyone is competing to get them. the city hall and the bank have had to make an official competition for#them but you only classify if the renr would not be more than 1/3rd of your salary which is impossible. my cousins who are in their mid 30s#and have been working a good qualified job for 15 years (and their partners too) are considered too poor to be considered for the#affordable housing#everyone is having to move out to other cities away from their friends and family and current jobs. the only jobs left here soon will be#mostly directed at tourists#and the only way to continue living here if you're a normal person and not rich is if you're an only child who one day might inherit the#parents' house#but we look around at what's happening in nearby cities and we see the next step which will be airbnb taking the houses that are left#in many places (I've posted about thia before) there aren't any flats for rent or sell anymore that isn't an airbnb#I'm still lucky in my town when compared to other places like Barcelona which are already full of the airbnb plague#actualitat#airbnb#tourism#touristic massification#gentrification
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Look at these stickers my brain is literally so huge. God. I love them so much.
I hadn't tried to do a sticker sheet at home before because I knew it would be difficult, and I was right! Getting the cut lines to line up with the print was super hard and there were many failed attempts, but it was so worth it I'm so happy with them!!!
This sticker sheet is for my patrons this month ^^
#like seriously I wasted like 10 entire sheets#normally when I do stickers I get to arrange them on a 'print and cut' sheet#which basically has these black marks in the corners that the machine can scan so it can cut based off of where those marks were#so it gets to line up muuuch easier#but with this I didnt want to have just like 2 sticker sheets a page... I wanted to have 4 for an 8.5x11 piece of paper?#cause of obvious reasons I feel#cause the print and cut takes an inch all around#I'm not sure it would be replicable either tbh? like if I were to design another sheet I would have to waste a bunch of papers again#cause for some reason the individual cut lines werent like... it wasnt like it was just entirely offset or entirely scaled 1:1#it was like some parts had to scoot up some spots had to scoot over some down whatever#so I think I would have to print cut and test again#but. also I did all that and realized. I could have been testing this on normal pieces of paper... I didnt have to use sticker paper#its fine! just makes me feel less bad about trying to do this again in the future#the sticker paper isnt that expensive this wasnt terrible#anyways. might do more in the future! I only have one other idea right now for a sticker sheet bt I wanna do it eventually#not like I wont ever have other ideas. obviously.#I just generally try to only make stuff that i'd actually wanna have so i'm not trying to make a ton of designs or whatever#this is actually also why i'm often sort of... late? on the patreon designs#not late like i send them out as soon as payments get processed for that month the design was for#but ideally id be making them ahead of time enough that people could sign up or sign off if theyre interested or not...#but I just dont wanna make a design that feels procedural... I CAN but I wanna make things that are creative and worth paying for!#so. I often will spend multiple days mulling over ideas for that months designs. so I'm not very ahead at all haha#anyways. yeah these are for october and then I've also gotta draw a halloween themed drawing for this year in general that will be the prin#i lov halloween#anyways.#patreon#merch#my bf didnt get it the gravestone box. its like a nerds box shaped like a gravestone...#and the nerds are. ghosts... its good. its good okay you agree
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guys how do you explain to your friends who have suffered for months hearing u yap about one specific character that youre losing intrest in said character
#I ALWAYS FEEL SO BAD WHEN I START LOSING HYPERFIXATIONS😭🙏#hehe guys im havinh a conundrum#my brain worms have decided werehog and stupid vampire man from old book are silly#i never thought at any era in mh life id be into twilight#god please helo me#edward cullen WHEN I GET YOU#you too sonic youre not out of this either#mf werehog bro#PLEASE HELO ME MY POOR PINTREST MOOTS WHO FOLLOWED ME FOR TTS😭🙏#sorry fam my brain had other plans!!!#ngl this is probably one of those hyperfixations i get for like 2 months because of the dopamine kick i get#and then i go back to beinh chronic over my previous fixation😭🙏#so if u guys start seeing me beinh less active/postinh about other things not related to tts just know thats why#also hunger games#i think my brain is making me read#like i have bad data at my house so i cant use ao3 so i moved over to physical books#and ive never read twilight before bcuz i thought it wasnt for me#thats always how i am oh my god#but like my teacher told me to read it#and my mom has all the hunger games books and i havent read anythinh from that series either(but i have watched the movies)#so like#im having a book lover mentally ill teen girl moment#hey atleast bbg pintrest has my back❤️#pintrest is my og#yall dont fw pintrest like i do
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I was gonna post something about dreading how shit this week is going to be. But then I realized it's probably going to be shit until late January, so. Please pray for my blood pressure and health 😭
#im really scared icl 😭#also if i had to go through months of non stop political ads and texts and emails and anxiety and and and-#only for it to not end well. my fucking god.#aaaghhh it just fucking sucks election day really isnt a 'day'#its actually just. election year.#ive been consumed by it for probably at least half this year#but not only all that thats been going on#its gonna take days for them to count the ballots probably#and in that time theres gonna be like. 5 billion lawsuits. cause thats a thing apparently#and then all that shit is going to continue until what. January 20th?#no matter the result things are going to be chaotic i feel like#but truly i am desperately manifesting gaaaahhhh fuck im so done with all this#FREE ME PLEASE I JUST WANT TO BE FUCKING FREE#also fuck whichever guy put election day so close before thanksgiving and christmas#idk it all just really fucking sucks. this year hasn't been good for me#so i love that in addition to my already terrible baseline level of anxiety-#ive had another level piled on top of me#which can only possibly get worse 😭#id almost prefer the political ads in perpetuity rather than actually face tuesday and beyond#god. fuck this.#i feel like im gonna have to knock myself out and not go online on monday and tuesday at this rate#how am i even going to get myself to sleep when theres constantly eternal doom hanging over me#catie.rambling.txt
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I also lost my cat recently. it's horrible. take care of yourself, ok? you'll be ok.
yeah dude its fucking awful... im sorry for your loss too :( i wish they could live forever with us. or at least as much as possible.... my boy wasnt even a senior, he was around 10 years old and i had had him for 8..
#like if he had been like 12... id be like okay he's an old kitty...this was gonna happen#but i wasnt prepared for it to happen like this. i was so desperate that nothing i did could help him#nothing helped. no ultrasound no x ray no cardiology check up no blood test no antibiotics. nothing could figure out what was wrong#and then it was too late. just that whole situation (been going on since june) had me so crazy#and then this last month was a fucking nightmare it happened so fast. like i wasnt prepared#u cant ever be prepared i guess... but idk i wish it wouldve been different#i wish he had died of old age instead. or at least i wish we knew what caused him to be so sick.#like if i was told its idk. cancer. and its taken over and hes gonna die#it wouldve been awful too. of course. but i wouldve known. i wouldve been told.#i wouldnt have had to watch him get to the point he got and accept that whatever he had. it didnt matter anymore. because it beat him.#it sucks so bad it sucks so bad. its so unfair.#sorry for venting in my tags ig. whatever. fuck everything this world is fucked and evil#personal
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the immortal urge to see if my country has blaze on tumblr, just so i can make more people suffer with the elrond pregnancy post.
#—ruthuifin#featuring the unwilling participation in this monstrosity (and threats to our already dying bank account) of orchalon#srsly we already spent 70% of our money on HoME. WE HAD BEEN SAVING UP FOR OVER A YEAR TO BUY STUFF#and cóleblain shews up w/ all 12 volumes of HoME & the confession that he DOES NOT KNOW WHAT VALUE OUR CURRENCY EVEN HAS#this is the real horror movie in having DID#THIS.#id rather have the coffee grounds bath than this ngl#at least that one doesnt result in financial devastation by an elf who failed to be a twink#four months' allowance gone in seconds. just so he could find out where babies come from.#and if marriages can be consummated like if richard iii became a sailor#worst thing is that the reality is WORSE than throwing wine bottles at innocent elves before going sailing. its somehow WORSE#(all rants are courtesy of Orchalon. who has Had Enough Of This Damned System [and family])
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I love receiving a passive-aggressive text message every time I use the only kitchen on this earth I have physical access to. I love having the options of 'put herculean effort into appearing not to exist' or 'be scolded daily for eating'
#its not even your hooooouuuuussssee#oh yeah totally leave your half smoked joints all over the counter and change your cats' litter box 1x a week#even though it's in a common room but no Im the gross one for like putting a dish on a different counter than usual#im just overreacting bc im off my meds rn but christ i need a job so bad ive been crying every day ab staying here#and remy is driving me insane bc hes stir crazy bc hes still only allowed in 2 rooms bc certain people seem to think letting him meet their#cats will encourage us to stay here longer or something - as if id want to spend 1 extra millisecond with that garbage attitude#ugh#posts a vent and leaves for months again. im sorry everyone i also wish i had my shit together
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i just want to love someone who i can love without either of us getting hurt please is that too much to ask
#its not fair#id go through all this hurt all over again if it meant i also got to redo the two months we had together but its not fucking fair#but its not fucking fair#i wanted to be happy with him i was happy with him#i just want a love thats good for both of us
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god artists really do just pass around the same $20 bill cause dude over half my clients are other artists 😭 and usually they're the ones that tip well!! i just wish i could afford to also commission other artists and buy stuff from their shops!
#as soon as i get my grants/scholarships im gonna buy some shit from artists i like#i gotta get some things for my wall cause i live in an empty white box#im going to a zine fest soon too so im excited to talk to local artists!!#gonna splurge on 1 big poster or something#i hope someone's selling sculpted magnets or other unique decorations#i gotta make a list of ppl i wanna buy from#idk if I'll commission anyone tho cause that's a whole other deal and more expensive#idk what i would commission#it'd have to be something from an artist who can draw that thing wayyyy better than i ever could#enough to justify me spending over $50-100 cause you know im not gonna pay pennies even if they're undercharging#i swear if i had a regular job id spend money on art every month#genuinely i think my ideal achievable life rn is working a head empty office job 30 hrs a week and doing art the rest of the time#building streams of casual income until i have enough to pivot to full-time art again MAYBE#but from what ive heard from post college full time artists... that shits hard and confusing and stressful...#these tags rly lost the plot huh...#just rambling#not art
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i was gonna wear my knee high converse for the bit but i think im gonna wear my platform boots so i can be as tall as them
#im already 5’9 1/2 (possibly 5’10 i haven’t been to the doctors in a while but im claiming it idgaf)#like id be 6’1 in them#my whole outfit i had initially im not even wear anymore psljfdjdje#cant wait to tower over you mfs next month bc apparently ur all like 5’3
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