#but they keep on bringing them back to life dont they...im never safe

[pnfc]

i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece

[amoristt]

This is so self indulgent but Kang dae-ho headcanons about him having a girlfriend that's muscular please! Like, stronger than him type muscular（＾ω＾）

dont ever be scared to be self-indulgent!!!!!!!!!! i LOVE this request bc i am currently in my Muscle(TM) era so this had me like 👉🏽👈🏽 im kinda relating it to real life bc my partner and his friends cant keep up with my leg day LOL

kang dae-ho with a muscular girlfriend

oh my god. this man would be crazy for a woman able to bench him. don't get him wrong- Dae-hoe loves to be the tough guy. the pride he feels from being a marine at his young age, and his passion to keep those around him safe ring true at all angles. he loves to be the protector, and he's got all these self-indulgent daydreams about being That Guy.

but. something about seeing you, with your pretty smile and even prettier laugh, start lifting weights he tops out at for a warm up? it does something to him. it really, really does. he kind of wants you to toss him over your shoulder and squat him.

some guys would be put off knowing their woman could give them as ass whooping, but not Dae-ho, because man does he love when you show it off. arm wrestles, pushup contests, anything. especially if it humbles some jackass. it makes him beam with joy watching his girlfriend kick ass. he's the cheerleader and you're the star quarterback.

he thinks that you're soooo freaking hot. like sometimes he looks at you and can't believe you give him the time of day, let alone let him hang around.

loves your gym outfits. specifically the baggy hoodie, shorts combo. when you send him pics and outfits of the day he eats it UP. thats his mf woman

knowing you're stronger than him doesn't ever stop him from playing tough guy, though. it's in his very DNA. he'd defend john cena if he could. some guy wont leave you alone? he's there ready to throw hands. someone's talking shit about his girl? hell no. meet him outside.

"don't fuck with me, my girlfriend will kick your ass"

you two meet at the gym, naturally. Dae-ho goes pretty regularly on his own but he's the 'head down, heaphones up' kind of gym rat so he never really gave mind to anyone else nearby him. honestly didn't even know you went to his gym until one fateful, fateful day. he's one part of a trio of buddies that day, spending more time chatting and goofing off than actually doing his sets. he's showboating, overloading his plates and damn near throwing his back out more than once. he loads a barbell up with 345lbs onto his shoulders and cranks out a single squat. then two. once he drops down for the third, he locks up. it's then he realizes how many leg days he's skipped. he can't bring himself up right. his friends aren't paying attention and he was an idiot who didn't have a spotter. his options are fall forward, and risk the bar hitting him in the head, or fall backwards and feel the embarrassment of a hundred eyes all on him at once. he's struggling to balance it, every muscle in his body tensing, when suddenly the bar is lifting. he lifts to his feet and there's a set of hands off to his left helping him set the barbell back onto the rack. expecting his friend, he turns and goes to chastise them for not paying attention and helping sooner, but then he see's... you. before he can apologize for talking to you like that, you're already smiling at him and teasing right back. maybe you shouldn't have loaded too much, huh? he's flushing bright red, stammering out a laugh and rubbing the back of his head. you're cute- and your voice is like honey to his ears. his friends are snickering from other machine, watching the entire ordeal, and he feels that flaming blush race down to his neck and chest. he doesn't know it quite yet, but he's smitten. he goes to start peeling the plates off the racked barbell but you stop him. and then, slack jawed and wide eyed, he watches you crank out an entire set. you heave the bar back onto the rack and then, he gets to watch you add MORE weight. he's not even trying to act like he isn't staring, completely gobsmacked. his friends are still horsing around elsewhere and he's stunned into place. you take a sip of water in-between sets and before you can put your headphones back on he can't stop himself from talking to you. he literally isn't even thinking when he catches your attention, feeling shy, but he can't help it. he has to talk to you- that was the coolest shit he's ever seen. its humbled him. changed him. he just watched you squat two of him over your shoulders like it was nothing. he can't even feel his pride take a hit either, he's entranced by you. you both have a great conversation and man, he knew you were cool before, but every time you open you're mouth it just gets better and better. he can't believe he's never noticed you until now. from that point on, he starts to notice whether you're there or not. and he goes crazy out of his way to talk to you- finding little reasons to chat. eventually you start seeking him out too. you ask him to be your spotter one day and he's pretty much head over heels after that. eventually you get each others numbers, then, he pulls the ultimate move. he invites you out to drinking with his friends and you show up but hey, check that out, looks like no one showed up but us! that totally wasn't planned at all, or anything. oh well! you two have a lovely evening together <3

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

I'm up way later than I need to be and listening to music while I draw and this song gives me SUCH Sabo feelings and I would love to hear your opinions!! (Never Love An Anchor by The Crane Wives)

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=Y07xArvIvjw&si=ffMbMHTWuHHnxY2C

You dare bring. The Crane Wives. Into this peaceful household.

Never Love an Anchor no less.

RELATING THE SONG TO THE BLORBO FROM MY SHOW NO LESS

The audacity.

Anyway.

Yeah it makes me think about how Sabo left Ace and Luffy on his own accord at the end. Of course it was a last resort but he left them because he knew that this was the only way for them all to be free.

He left knowing that he would probably not see him until they were 17. Or maybe even never again.

He left them so that they could be safe. Because as long as long as he was with him, as far as he could see, hands would still try to claim him, resulting in the ones he loves getting hurt.

There was no winning for Sabo or any of them. As long as he tried delaying the inevitable, it just never would have happened.

He had to give up what he loved so he could keep it.

And then after he regains his memories, him thinking how much he’s changed. His claws might hurt the one he loves so dearly, even though at this point he doesnt even know him anymore. What if when Luffy finds out that he was alive, it only hurts him deeper. Knowing that there was someone who would have made a difference that day wasnt there. Reliving not only that day in the moment of reuniting, but the say he lost Sabo, too.

I dont find it strange that Sabo didnt try to reunite with Luffy until dressrosa. And in fact i think that reuniting with luffy is something he did as an absolute last resort. I think he truly didnt want to meet him that day at all.

In the anime alone, it doesnt much show it, but in the manga and the Episode of Sabo his hesitance and nerves are really clear to me. He takes a second before he starts walking to talk to luffy. His hand is clutched and shaking. He walks as slowly as he can. And also he only does it after he knows that Luffy cant get the fruit.

They both need that fruit safe. An heirloom of their precious brother, the only thing they have left that can life on from him.

If Luffy could’ve finished that tournament, im fairly certain Sabo would’ve never revealed himself.

I think he feels like he might hurt luffy if he did, but i also think that he didnt feel he deserved it. To reunite with Luffy after all that time. After all that happened.

Going back to the song, the lyrics

“So, I did the only thing that i could And severed the rope to set you sailing from my harbor.”

Even though it was Sabo who went sailing from the harbor, what he was doing was sever the rope from his connections with luffy and Ace so that they could grow and be free without worrying about being held back by him and the weight of his life keeping him suffocating at the bottom of the harbor he’s being drowned in.

If sabo had successfully left Goa that day, and he had reunited with Ace or Luffy somewhere down the line, i think he would act the same way he did in dressrosa that day. I think he would feel his baggage is too much, someone could be after him. And he wouldnt want to reunite. Especially after how he left them.

To me, that letter didnt read as a “i hope i see you again”, but a “goodbye forever”. Which i mean,,,, it was one, at least in Ace’s case, so … 🤷‍♀️ kill me

Anyway, the sentencing of your crimes of Crane Wives-ing me will be capital punishment, i hope you understand.

Thanks for the ask!

[moonshynecybin]

@tartquez here with a mermaid Marc au question but only if you want to! ✨

After he does his deal with the devil to turn his tail into legs in exchange for his voice, are there any particular shenanigans you think (mute bambi-legged) Marc would get up to?

scream if we ARE doing the full little mermaid with mute marc, he would SO annoyed that he cant talk everyone around him's damn ear off omg... hm i like him talking/being irritating…. im gonna let him keep his voice. for this the witch fucks up his arm or smth.

so marc gets his legs (wildly traumatic experience), passes the fuck out on a piece of floating decrepit driftwood like that first scene in pirates of the caribbean, and gets rescued by vale's crew (cele sulking moodily in the crows nest like uh GUYS? when he spots marc. who is of course naked and gleaming in the sun like a piece of gold.) and the academy boys pull marc's body limp from the sea, and when marc wakes up it is to the loose shirt and rakishly raised brow of the famous captain valentino rossi... literally like THE guy who he got legs for (in all universes marc starts doing dangerous stuff bc he sees vale doing it when he was younger and falls head over ass in love w him lol)… and he has to think up a cover story QUICK

of course as we know, vale is the most curious man alive. so when this hot (weirdly familiar.....) mystery man is deposited on the deck of his ship two weeks away from any land with no clothes, no nearby ship wreckage to explain his presence, and seemingly no memory whatsoever, hes like okay. you can hang for a bit until i figure you out. at least until we get to land— but you also have to make yourself useful :) (in my head he’s so charming about this offensive even if he’s like. implicitly threatening marc a little lol) and marc gets bored easily so i think he folds himself into the crew p fast after that… there are scenes of immediate flirting (marc comma shameless and BOLD. hasn’t really figured out the clothes thing). there are scenes of marc not knowing how to use a fork because he is used to using his sharp teeth and nails to simply rend sushi to shreds. there are scenes where pecco and luca pull out their fiddle and flute for the crew at the end of a long day of raids and the marc stares at them like hes under a spell because they dont have that kind of music under the sea. there are scenes of marc being deathly afraid of the ocean because he cant swim now (thrown in as a prank and vale rescues him ? perhaps ?). there are scenes of marc being surprisingly, viciously good at sword fighting (makes vale even MORE suspicious... like okay he is definitely not a two bit merchant deckhand lol) and them shirtless and sweaty in the hot sun spending hours trying to get one over on each other. marc staring at fire like hes never seen it before. him and celestino pranking crewmembers. an ache in his chest when he thinks about alex. counting his toes because they’re WEIRD and learning how to PEE and learning how to JACK OFF. and most off all falling harder and faster than he thought possible and vice versa... truly nothing vale likes more than a surprising little puzzle who is obsessed w him, even while theres a voice niggling in the back of his head that the alien way marc cocks his head and stares rings more like a shark than an amnesiac sailor...

UNFORTUNATELYYYYY for vale and marc, part of the reason marc excels at sword fighting is because marc IS the prince of the mermen or whatever the fuck. and his spell has a two week time limit to find true love before his arm (getting weaker every day) is permanently FUCKED (really bad when you live in the ocean or simply lead the kind of life marc marquez does) and he has to slink back home to papa marquez and all the boring, safe trappings of being royalty (PAUSE: santi is sebastian. thank u). so alex shows up trying to bring him back, but marc doesnt want to go (starts 2 become guilty about foisting this on alex) and cant swim like this anyways (scar on his arm getting bigger comma. new legs), and then vale CATCHES THEMMMM talking late at night when everyone else is in bed and he remembers all the stories about sailors being dragged to their deaths (true. lol) and remembers the glittering flicker of marc's tail after he pulled him from the sea twenty years ago and all of his suspicions at marc’s ability at violence. and then its a huge fucking mess.

[cyberkitty1]

Secrets

- he knows that the work he does is dangerous and could very easily all blow up in his face, but he wants.. no needs to keep you and the other two people he has in his life. He keeps his work away from home he doesn’t want you or his mother to figure out anything. But one small mistake and he releases his secret.

“ Where is he? “ you mumbled to yourself dressed casually ready for your pre-planned date with Miles. You guys where planning on going to small restaurants to eat at them go to him place for a movie. Checking the time on your phone your realize he’s an hour late late. He was supposed to pick you up at 7:00.

So you text him

y/n. where are u??? you where supposed to pick me up over an hour ago

seen

“ Are you kidding me? “. You stare at your phone waiting for a response but it doesn’t happen. you start to get frustrated, upset even. The tears build in your eyes as you tilt your head up to the sealing. This is the fifth time he flaked on you, in a row.

You decide to get undressed, no point in waiting anymore. Just as you where about to lay down and put on your favorite show, Bzzz he texted you.

miles. im sorry mami i got called in for work ill make it up to you

y/n. so work is more important than me now???

miles. dont start now we will talk later

y/n. sure

seen

She was mad, beyond mad angry. The thing that got to her the most was that he told her he would take her out not the other way around. Slowly the anger turned into sadness, why was he always working? Was this so called work even important? was he cheating? No he would never.

You where just so confused. You checked the time and saw is was already 10 o’clock, had you thought that much? You sighed brining the blanket up to your neck turning off the TV to watch tiktoks on your phone. He texted you multiple times but you where not in the mood to respond.

Suddenly you heard the familiar sound of your window being opened. You knew who it was but you didn’t want to look; continuing to face the opposite way.

You heard him close the window behind him and walk a couple steps. “I know youre awake” he said “ I never said I wasnt “ you spit back. “ well you werent even looking at my texts, whys that?” he questioned. You sat up turning twords him “ you know why! “ tears filling your eyes.

“I waited an hour for you to show up but you never did! I waited and waited until i gave up.” Miles sighs holding the bridge of his nose. “ im sorry you know that, I had work-” “ oh! so work is more important than me? Youre willing to ditch me so you can go do your so called “ work” you said doing air quotations.

His face hardens “alto, te dije cuando nos pusimos serios que mi trabajo me llama al azar. Whenever they need me I go” he sighed. You thought about what you were going to say next. “ Ok Miles, but i need you too” you tried to keep your voice even but failed, your eyes welled with tears threatening to fall. He sat next to you on your bed.

“Lo sé mami, lo siento, sé que puse el trabajo antes que tú, pero estoy haciendo esto para mantenerte a salvo, ¿verdad?.” You only stared at him. “ Keep me safe from what?” He closed his eyes taking a deep breath, and explained to you everything from the moment his dad died.

“ Solo lo hago para que mi mamá no tenga que trabajar tanto por dinero. Ella ya hace tanto por mí que necesito ayudar. Do you understand?” You turn and look at his brown eyes just as the moonlight hits them. His eye bags are dark his face is tired.

You know what he does now and for some reason you are not scared instead you feel for him. You had no idea he was going through all that he never told you.

You wrap your arms around his neck bringing him into a hug, in turn be wraps his hands around your waist head resting on your shoulder.

“ You’re not scared of me right mami?” He says quietly “never mi amor.”

This was not proof read that much sorry .

This is my very first writing on here so please be kind. I have more in the works so expect more soon 🤭

[anemoiashifts]

how tiktok failed the shifting community

& how shiftok keeps you stuck idk what to call this. 🫶🏻

to make this clear, i do not hate tiktok. i dont hate people on tiktok who want to shift. i dont have a problem with people on tiktok talking about shifting.

this post is not about anyone specific. ive sold a shifting journal on amazon. which may seem hypocritical though ive never made a promise that it will make you shift & its not supposed to.

!! this post isn’t an excuse to push all the communities problems on shiftok. much like the animal crossing community pre-new horizons, as communities grow bigger, its expected to bring some toxicity with it. problems exist in all corners of the internet & in certain groups.

however, there is a specific issue within the shifting community that involves tiktok & that is the integration of money & profit being made off of people’s desperation.

shifting was / can be presented as this alternative “safe place” & escape for people with serious mental illness that consist of not wanting to be living this life anymore. & that’s fine on its own. everything we do is a form of escapism like readings or watching tv. as long as it’s healthy, it’s harmless. ive touched on permashifting & sv!c!d4l ideation before but id like to piggyback off of that point.

to clarify for everyone new: i am not against perma-shifting. i am against some of the langue that is used around it. you don’t need to k!ll yourself to shift. this is what im speaking about.

when you have an audience that is deteriorating & only going through the motions of life, when your only desire is to get out of the situation you are in, is it extremely easy to profit off of vulnerable people. this fact paired with tiktok — where you get paid & your income is dependent on engagement — it becomes overwhelmingly clear why pushing out content that keeps their audience within arms reach of actually shifting. it’s more profitable if you have an audience of people who can’t shift & want to as opposed to an audience of people who can shift & don’t need validation from exterior sources. it becomes easy to ignore people’s struggles if that’s what you’re making money off of. there is a lack of a healthy viewpoint & balance within some parts of the community.

calling back to 2020 when shiftok was in its infancy, there was a lot of “pov” & storytime style content. there is nothing wrong with wanting to share your experiences but making “entertainment” is arguably much, much easier & profitable. keeping that in mind, why i believe the practice of shifting is so seemingly popular amongst a younger demographic is because it brings fandom spaces together. it’s one thing to watch a show & obsess over fictional characters & read fan fiction but to live alongside your favorite character & be equal with those you idolize, it can sound very appealing. keeping shifting as entertainment style content, it makes it no different then fanfiction & oc’s. again !! i have no problem with people speaking about their experiences / wants for when they shift but the issue is when people only focus on that & it becomes a numbers game.

i hold no issue with people selling their labor in any community but when you sell something with the promise to “make you shift” is when it becomes problematic. when you sell false promises & empty hope, you are also banking that your audience is desperate enough to cling to anything that reminds them of what they want. it speaks to how the creator views their audience to an extent & id argue is aware of the dozens of (mostly) children expressing their negative worldview that displays an unhealthy mentality.

this is why i don’t do general readings as frequently & personal readings at all anymore. quite honestly, it’s easy engagement. while not my intention, people often change their perspective & “make” things fit their situation. i hate hate hate to say this but in desperation, you can make a sign out of anything. this is not me trying to take away the feeling of internal knowing. to give this thought weight, i remember a while ago i posted a reading that was & has been channeled from a person in my desired reality. the comments were flooded by “i know who this is from” & “this is from this person in my dr”. i clarified in the video — the very first slide — that this was from a specific person & everyone completely ignored that fact to fit their beliefs. if you find meaning in something that’s great but when something is explicitly stated as one thing don’t manipulate it to fit yourself if it’s not truly meant for you. not every reading is supposed to resonate. by forcing it to it removes the intimate aspects of what is truly just for you. if everything has meaning, nothing has meaning.

circling back to my idea before, readings & “this message was meant for you content” does open the floodgates to tell their audience what they want to hear for the sake of growth, profit, engagement. yes, there are some readings that don’t pander to a specific group of views but those “stop scrolling this was meant for you, he’s thinking about you, if you see this letter or number it’s a sign & you should be expecting a phone call or someone to reach out to you soon” readings that come up on your fyp are eight times out of ten for engagement purposes & to tell you what you want to hear by using generic langue to make profit. no, not all readings are set up this way and not everyone thinks like this. there are plenty of people who don’t do it for money or attention. even if people did it for money, some people hold issue with that while others don’t. the like it or not, just make sure you’re doing it in a way that’s not making peoples mental situation worse & giving others false hope.

while not reading based, this sounds familiar when we acknowledge “shifting symptoms”. early on, people seemed to take them as being close to shifting & literally feeling the process of you becoming apart of your desired reality. now we know, all those tingles & twitched are only your body checking to see if you’re asleep. the name becomes very mis-leading when you take into that content.

the tldr of this post was when you intertwine spirituality & profit in spaces where people are desperate for something that feels larger then them, people’s actions can put bad tastes in people’s mouths. looking at tiktok, views = money. when numbers are given to people who have shifted & deemed influencers (because that’s how tiktok was pretty much designed) it becomes easy to see why some idolize to be like these people’s — “they shifted & i didn’t, they seem to have everything figured out, they must be better at it then i am, they must be special & not like the rest of us.” it creates a cycle of self doubt, unfortunately, while keeping you in the same “i can’t shift” mindset while these same people are selling a piece of them that you seemingly “lack”.

[skotiwolves]

“Just one more before you go,” he said.

It became common, and Hunter beat himself up every time he forgot to give her one. It became a thing for them, especially when she started being away from home more frequently.

They served as reminders for her, how much he loved her, but for him, too.

A reminder of the life he was given. The life he chose to have—as a father.

She smiled, blowing air out of her nose. He raised his arms as she approached him, laying each of them on her shoulders. He raised his left, bringing it to the back of her neck and pulling her forehead to him.

He planted a kiss to her head then, holding them there briefly. He didn’t want to keep her for long. Plus, he gave her one when she got home hours prior.

But another never hurt. He pulled away and laid his hands on her shoulders, admiring her.

The newest pilot for the Rebellion. She grew up to be beautiful and strong—not like Hunter ever doubted it. She held qualities from all of her brothers, and Hunter never failed to smile with pride and grief when she practiced her tech-turn for him.

He was so proud of her, but their goodbyes never got any easier. No matter how many times she returned or left, the weight in his chest never faded. Their salutes never felt lighter, the last look that he always gave her before she turned her attention to the cockpit was always taken for granted.

The habit was built up over years, and it now acted as the silent mediator between them to tell her everything he’d reiterated to her year after year, though never losing their importance.

Please be safe.

If you need us, we’ll be there.

I’m so proud of you.

I love you.

-

hey @mroddmod im crying thanks i fell down a rabbit hole of insane emotions from your recent i hope you dont mind

[anachronistic-falsehood]

Spotify wrapped sonfg #77!

god. ok this is gonna b about blorbos u dont know (yet) im so sorry kozzax. i got hit w the worm beam listening 2 this. take this as worm propoganda ooooo u wanna read worm so badddddd oooooo

"Colin?"

He hums, his face pressed into the crook between Dragon's neck and shoulder. She's cooking something. She can't eat--although they are working on adding some functionality to her android body that could introduce taste, which is coming along nicely, but the actual consumption and disposal of food would be a waste, so they're still trying to workshop some workarounds-- but she says she likes cooking anyway. Something to do with her hands, something productive, that isn't just building machines. They're lucky he can eat, otherwise she'd be cooking for nothing.

"What would you do if... if Saint locked me away again?"

The question gives him pause. "That won't happen."

"But what if it did?"

"He can't." He tightens his arms around her middle and takes a deep breath. She smells like machine oil and warm circuitry.

"But someone theoretically could." She pokes at whatever's in the pan in front of her with her hand. Looks like a stir fry. Her synthetic skin doesn't burn. "What would you do?"

He watches her add some spices to the food as he considers it. The first time it happened--fuck, he doesn't want to think about that. That was probably the worst--shit, how long even was that? The worst time of his life. When Saint "killed" her, Defiant had never been more angry--and more devastated--in his life.

He hadn't talked about it. Not even to Chevalier, his closest--well, only friend outside of Dragon, aside from Hannah, but she wasn't exactly the type to talk about these things. He had liked to think that he'd gotten better, that he's gotten more open, but the moment Dragon wasn't in the picture, he shut down again, throwing himself back into work, desperate to find a way to bring her back, or do something good at least, if not that.

If someone got rid of her--if they killed her again, refused to bring her back, he would kill them. He knows that. It's undeniable.

He doesn't say that.

Something happens in his brain, a twinge in his circuitry. She's in there. He can feel her. It was almost unsettling the first time she poked herself into the cybernetic components in his brain, but it was something he swiftly got used to. It feels natural now, her coding intertwining with his neurons.

She knows what he's thinking.

He almost feels bad about it. Colin Wallis, Defiant, the hero, wanting to kill some imaginary someone for a crime they haven't yet committed. Sure, he'd let some people die before, but he'd never killed with own two hands.

She says nothing about it. No scolding, no disapproving comments. She just curls around his neurons like she belongs there, and there's a jolt in his system as she makes a connection from his brain to her android body, and then it's just the two of them, intertwined, both of them feeling the sensations of both of their bodies, pressed together in the kitchen, warm and safe.

He would kill if anyone took this away from him.

They smell something burning and snap out of it. "Oh, shit." Dragon reaches into the pan and stirs the food. He just snorts and keeps his head tucked into her shoulder.

He doesn't need to read her mind to know she would do the same for him.

[heronoegg]

Rewatching the anime a little bit to refresh my mind and I dont know if it's just the anime but if I had to get rid of anything in the anime that annoys me the most it would be AND LISTEN TO ME READ IT HOW IM SAYING IT

the way they went about making Uraraka have a crush on Deku

It's so annoying to the point I dont wanna "fix it" I just want it gone.

It's kinda long what I have to say and if you like Uraraka/Deku this post probably isn't for you

See it would be fine if it wasn't her whole personality and if you dont agree with me that's fine but I just.. it's hard to watch them fail my girl.

My most annoying parts of it are definitely.

- when she was taking her exam with Aoyama and him bringing up mention of the fact she liked Deku made her lose all composeture in a situation like that. 13 was literally caught off guard that she let go and the only reason they won is because she didnt wanna rip the children apart using black hole or void or whatever her quirk is called.

-when shes fighting Himiko for the first time in the forest training arc shes in FULL ON ATTACK AND PROTECT TSU MODE she man handles Himiko to the ground and I'm rooting for her. Himiko all of a sudden brings up a love interest cause she can smell it on or in Uararka's blood or something that she knows she likes a person. This takes over Uraraka's mind and she leaves ATTACK PROTECT MODE and is blushing and confused like a yandere simulator when you see Senpai. like... why is this scene needed? We know Uraraka likes Deku why does it have to get in the way of Himiko potentially almost stabbing or ending Tsu's life right in front of Uraraka? They were in a fight, having feelings for your crush is not gonna automatically flip your brain into "☺ oh no I remembered I like him" she could have just been extremely confused and Himiko was talking about how she loves Stain the same way Uraraka apparently has feelings for Deku, this scene is only here to show us Uararka liking Deku is making her mess up and that's why later she says she'll put those feelings away and then doesn't put them away cause she allows this to be in the forefront of her mind, Mina even teases her about it later with the present Deku got her. There's nothing wrong with Deku getting her a present and her cherishing it but she keeps it in her arm shoot thingy and when Himiko stole it season 6 Uraraka chased her to get it back cause it meant a lot to her... if it meant a lot to you leave it home??? I'm not gonna bring my keychain I like a lot or something someone gave me to the battle field leave that home where you know its safe

-in movie 1 Uararka is first scene stuttering because she was eavesdropping in on Deku and Melissia having a normal conversation about the island expo. Momo and Jirou are angry for her for no reason because this is meant to be perceived as Deku "cheating" on Uraraka by hanging out with another girl and it really isn't, they were literally just geeking out about hero gear and being a hero I rewatched the movie with my friend a little bit and she said "it's easy to ship Deku with Melissa because I dont feel like it's being pushed in my face ''THEY LIKE EACHOTHER GIGGLE GIGGLE'' it literally just showed two people who are more alike than they knew cause they are both quirkless and geeks about heroes talking about geeky hero stuff. Your next thing is your gonna probably say I'm hating cause I ship Deku with Melissa, I dont care about shipping the characters I was just making a point I honestly really need Deku and Melissa to stay platonic and friends cause shipping them just isn't my tea but to each it's own, I'm not saying I hate Deku/Uraraka I'm just saying there was a better way to go about making them fall in love or have a crush on eachother cause so far into the forest training arc and onward it's one sided, Deku never really thinks about Uraraka the way she thinks about him next your gonna say but in the beginning Deku was crazy about her cause he was like "A GIRL TALK TO ME" when he came to UA and when he talk to her on the phone he was like "I TALK TO A GIRL ON THE PHONE!" He did say these things, girls dont talk to Deku, not in his old middle school not ever really, he's a 15 year old boy if a nerdy kid talks to a girl he's going to geek out about it cause that never happen before

-it's just hard in general to watch her say "I'm gonna put these feelings away cause they get in my way" and then she proceeds to not do that even when shes putting them away she keeps bringing it up or its shown that she clearly didnt "put them away" cause she's struggling to not think abo it Deku in every trial she faces. I kid you not I remember her saying "what would Deku do" the same way Deku says "what would Allmight do" and it's really annoying.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk I just wanted to talk about this cause I dont really appreciate how her romance life is handled. If you like Deku/Uraraka power to you but I dont and I can only see them as friends and she had a crush on him but he friend zoned her

[chronic-gastro-illness-culture]

I'm unable to go anywhere or do anything because of my stomach/bowel problems, and I feel so alone. doctors and hospitals don't help or know what's wrong, and i don't know what to do. I feel like I'll never get to go anywhere or do anything. (I get symptoms like stomach ache, nausea, acid reflux, diarrhoea, or constipation after I eat anything), so I'm unable to go anywhere where I'd have to eat. (so anywhere longer than a few hours.)

do you or anyone else have any experience in this or any advice?

i have been exactly where u r

i developed gerd in the spring of 2023

i made changes to my diet only to find out i have ibs n food allergies - i cant eat a lot of raw vegetables n fruits n nuts bc im allergic to them but i cant eat processed foods bc of my gerd either

so i have a limited diet n take magnesium capsules everyday bc i cant eat leafy green vegetables

but i definitely lived in fear for months n had a lot of anxiety abt eating n also my proximity to a bathroom. i was taking zofran around the clock n would keep a handful of tums in my pocket in case i started to have reflux

i felt like i wouldnt ever be able to enjoy food or the act of eating again. n so much of hanging out w ppl involves eating. i dont think ppl realize how much culture n socialization revolves around food until ur suddenly hyper vigilant abt what ur eating. also how hard life is when each n every meal brings w it the fear n anxiety of experiencing symptoms.

anyways my doc prescribed me anti anxiety meds n a ppi to get the reflux symptoms under control. n she told me to go to therapy. At first that rlly upset me being told my stomach problems were anxiety related n basically feeling like my doc was telling me its “all in my head” bc i knew it was psychosomatic i knew what i was going thru was real

but i started therapy n my therapist suggested i read a book called the body keeps the score by bessel van der kolk n it changed my perspective on the whole thing.

things like pills diets n exercise can definitely help get things under control- n idk what all u have tried n what all the docs n hospital have given u in terms of tools to work w ur undiagnosed conditions -but understanding the mind-body connection n how ur body holds n manages stress can rlly rlly help when it comes to actually managing chronic illness. bc chronic illness is tied to chronic childhood trauma which is often a pattern thats repeated in adulthood too. doctors can only do so much when it comes to treating the body but they have have no idea how to treat the mind. while i hated my doc telling me take anti anxiety meds n go to therapy initially now im very very thankful she knew that was smth that was behind her scope n so she sent to someone who knew how to give me the help i needed. bc if i hadnt gone to therapy id still be stuck at home locked in a prison of fear.

i go out to eat now. i had movie theater popcorn for the first time in 2 yrs last month. i can eat a greasy fast food cheeseburger. these things i only indulge in once a month bc i dont want my gerd symptoms to come back again but they r things i can do.

n bc ik n understand my own stressors ik how to prepare for things like that to keep my gerd n ibs managed. ik to make sure i only eat a gerd safe diet during times of stress n to avoid the greasy processed foods bc ill be more likely to have reflux then.

recovery rlly is a long journey n the medical field rlly is incompetent when it come to chronic illness. i wish u the best of luck on ur journey n i hope u get some relief soon 🙏

[godisg4y]

yesss!! pls start posting again omg!! i love ur work, u dont understand. and i would LOOOVE if u wrote a pt 2 to the chifuyu S.I.M.P fic where they actually speak or sumth idk im not creative lmaoooo i just need ur content in my life auuuggghhhhh (no pressure ofc <3)

Ask and you shall receive my love! also i re-edited part 1 so make to check it out if you'd like! sorry if this took a while

♡S.I.M.P!I want you to worship me♡

Chifuyu x Reader part 2!

part 1 here

Note: can be read as a stan alone fic!

highschool au, cursing, sub!chifuyu, smut, 3rd person pov to 1st person pov

The library was Y/n's only safe space, She would always go there to finally breathe, she didn't have to keep up the performance. She could just bury herself in her silly little mangas and escape reality. But one time she stumbled upon the nsfw mangas in the bookshelf, she questioned it at first. She was the student council member she should bring attention to the fact that there's nsfw books in the library right??. Then Y/n realized that the anime club she belonged too probably snuck them in along with the regular ones and the librarian probably doesn't give enough fucks to actually check them which is why it's here. As she mentally fought with herself her eyes caught a glance at a hentai manga she's read before, one of her favorites at that. It was about a shy nerdy boy and a popular girl who bullied him...

Then there was one day she accidentally reached for the same manga as chifuyu, the pretty delinquent boyof the school. (Thankfully it wasn't hentai) Y/n was startled as a hand touched hers, she quickly turned to her side and her eyes widened in surprise. It was chifuyu, had she ever noticed him in the library before?..As he raised his head and looked to the side, he froze for a second. Emeral green eyes widening in panic as he stared at her. Y/n noticed his surprised expression, she would never have expected to see an expression like that on a boy like him...he looked almost fearful, like deer caught in headlights. Y/n studied his face, His fluffy blonde hair fell perfectly with his bangs covering parts of his forhead, She was almost compelled to reach out and touch it. His green eyes were wide open and and a soft pink blush dusted over his cheeks, his lips pressed together awkwardly in athin line. Like this he looked adorable, not at all like the rude delinquent all the other students were afraid to talk to. He quickly pulled his hand back and brought it up to the back of his neck with a sheepish smile on his face "Oh im sorry!" His voiced was rushed and panicked "Uhm, you can have it i dont mind" His words were rushed and flustered. It was surprising to see but honestly she couldn't help but it cute. Truth be told Y/n never really paid much attention to the blonde boy, sure she thought about how cool it was that he defied the teachers but that was in jealousy, wishing she could do the same. Other than that she never really paid him any real attention, until this very moment where she can't help but find him attractive..His soft jawline and smooth cheeks dusted in pink..his soft baby pink lips and his big green eyes still full of anxiety... Chifuyu swiftly spun on his heel and turned around to hurry away from Y/n but as he tried to leave her voice called out, "Chifuyu?" much more soft than when she usually talks to her classmates. His heart beat immediately sped up, his throat ran dry and he gulped but willed himself to turn around nonetheless. She saw his questioning look and responded before he could speak "uhm, well it's just.. if we're both interested in it, maybe we can just look at it together"

About A week passed since Chifuyu started talking to his crush. Everytime she saw him in the library she would come sit by him and strike up a conversation about whatever manga they were both into at the moment. Like right now. She's sitting so close to him he can barely process what she's saying. He tries so hard to will his brain to listen but all he could focus on was Y/n's skirt riding up her plush thighs the more she leans into his personal space. Her pretty face leaning closer to his, soft lips, shiny with her peach chapstick moving as she talked and her pretty e/c eyes staring into his, batting her eyelashes at him. Fuck he swears she's doing this on purpose to make him nervous and it was working and Judging from the feeling of his pants tightening it was working a little too good. His body was getting hotter and hotter, the soft pink that dusted over his flushed skin at his crushe's close proximity was getting harder to hide. Suddenly he was broken from his chain of thoughts when he heard her call his name "chifyuy? did you hear me?" His startled eyes were brought up to look into her concerned ones. "I asked if you were feeling okay, you look bothered" Before the boy could muster up a reply she stretched her hand out, shifting it under his bangs to against his forhead to check his temperature. Her face only inches away from his. "Oh my god chifuyu, you're burning-" Before Y/n could finish he cut her off "im okay! im just really warm- will you excuse me for a second!" Chifuyu quickly excused himself and scurried off towards to toilets. Oh fuck. He looked down at his pants and noticeable enough there was a buldge. He looked up questioning his life. Why was god doing this to him? Then he made accidental eye contact with his own pitiful reflection in the mirror, leading him to question his life even more. Without much options at his disposal he locked himself inside one of the stalls and made a quick mental note that after he rubbed out a quick one he'd go buy a gun to fucking shoot himself with.

You stood quietly outside his stall listening to his heavy panting before hearing him breathe a small "oh fuck" followed by a whisper of your name. Chifuyu stood inside the stall trying to be as quiet as possible as his hand wrapped around his aching cock. He swears he's never been this hard before, pumping gently a few times and then picking up the pace. You couldn't help but rub your thighs together under your skirt at his cute little whimpers and moans. God it was so hot, everytime he breathed out your name you felt your insides tighten and slick pooled inside your panties. That's it you couldn't control yourself anymore. You needed something inside you so badly. "Chifuyu?~" you called out, feigning a worried voice but the slutry undertone could still be heard and knocking on the door "you okay in here?". A smirk played on your glossed lips as you heard him panic "Wha- uh- uhm yea-YEAH! IM FINE!" An array of rushed incoherent stutters left him in response. "Y/n this is the boys washroom! you can't be in her-" Before he could finish his rushed and panicked sentence his door flew open. Chifuyu was stood frozen in horror, throbbing cock still in his grip as he was met face to face with the girl. You had kicked the door in! His mouth was agape but no words came out, he looked so scared and ashamed, Fuck it was so cute.

Chifuyu stood there frozen in place, his hand still around his cock. You carefully stepped inside the cramped stall, closing the door behind your back before pushing off it and stepping towards him. He can barely process what's happening right now before your hands are on him and your mouth crashes on his, nipping at his lips and sliding your tongue into his mouth. His eyes flutter shut as he kisses back, groaning into your mouth. His hard cock is pressed into your lower stomach, he can't help but grind it against your body chasing the much craved for friction. Your hands move from the sides of his face down towards his shirt. Fingers moving quickly to undo all of his buttons but your mouth is still pressed to his, tongue shoved down his throat. Moaning into him. He can barely register what the fuck is going on but he feels so good right now. When you finish unbutton his shirt you pull away from his mouth moving to leave a trail of kisses down his jaw to his neck. He whines when you do but it turns into a gasp as you stop to bite and suck at his sensitive skin, marking him as you please. He's such a sweet boy for you, whining and moans in your ear. "Y-y/n" he breathes your name out in a silent plea yet he doesn't even know what he's asking for. You press a few more kisses onto his chest and neck and one last kiss on the corner of his mouth before wordlessly sliding to your knees. His leaking cock right at your eye level as you look up him through your eyelashes. Without saying anything you take his cock in your soft hands.You could feel it pulsating, see the pretty veins throbbing on the underside of it. so much pre-cum was already leaking out of his thick baby pink mushroom tip and down his slender shaft, he was about 7 inches thick, 3 inches wide and holy fuck was it so pretty, just like him, matching his sweet little flushed face. God he looked so hot like this, Zipper undone, His shirt left open, showing of his lean torso and soft stomach. His pretty face flushed pink twisted in pleasure in such a lewd way, eyebrows furrowed, with his cherry pink lips caught between his teeth so hard it was bruising, bleeding. His now dark green eyes droopy, clouded with lust and his blonde hair now drenched and stuck flat to his forhead by beads of sweat. Fuck he was so cute like this. Chifuyu's eyes were clouded with lust, staring down at you in awe. Your pretty face only a few breaths away from his cock. He watched as you took him in your soft hands and opened your pretty mouth, breathing on it as your eyes looked up him, fluttering with that slutry look. He couldn't help but groan, head thrown back against the wall.You drag your tongue from the bottom of his shaft up to his tip before wrapping your lips around it. Immediately he let's out a porn worthy groan with his head thrown back against the wall. Both of your hands wrap around the base of his cock strocking him while your mouth suctioned around his sensitive tip, swirling your tongue around and running it across his slit. He hissed and bit the back of his hand to keep himself quiet, the other hand curled at his side in a fist, almost as if he was still scared to touch you.

[etinceelle]

I dont think that they will wait that long to bring penny back im pretty sure that she will come back the next volume (etheir in the first or last episode)

I already made a post about how it possible that penny end up in ruby head giving ruby heard her voice in the begining

Prehaps bevacause of her deprassion (which was very simular to penny btw) she wasnt ablr to hear her but now that ruby is herself she might actually start hearing her again and find out she is alive!

I could see it happened when ruby is in a fight and she look like she about to loose and then she heared penny tells her to allow her to handhale the fight and we see her closing her eyes and when they open again their are green

Also pretty sure that the biggest reason for penny to die was so the maiden power would transfer to someone else without putting somthing out of nowhere, giving that the maiden power only make penny life worse it means that for her character arc to be complete she need to get rid of it as it would took away her freedom no matter what happened with her

I don't think they would bring her back the first ep of the next volume, this would be very disrespectful to her second death tbh x) Bringing her back like that like it wasn't such a big deal feels really bad to me. If they want to keep the impact and give such importance to her death, then I'd rather wait for them to build it once again rather than have them rush it and just bring her back again at the first step of next volume. It made sense in Volume 7 because it was a long time after the fall of Beacon, everyone just arrived in Atlas and met Pietro, it was fitting. But here, even if Pietro's in Vacuo it feels really rushed to me. We got a whole volume about reincarnation but also about Ruby mourning Penny (or trying at least, because she barely had time or space to do so...). I would rather to see the process detailed this time, hear characters talk about Penny for real, see Pietro grieving and trying his best to bring her back, Winter thinking about her too, anyway.

I also saw the theory about Penny being in Ruby's head, I definitely think the scene when we hear Penny calling for Ruby in V9 is weird and interesting. I don't think Penny's "in Ruby's head", but rather that maybe she's somewhere in another realm, trying to reach out to her. It could be the realm of the Blacksmith in the tree, or something else... Or something odd definitely happened if Penny thought of Winter and Ruby before dying. Or (the sad choice lol), this is simply Ruby hallucinating because of the fall and hearing Penny. But tbh it still feels really weird that it Penny specifically. The first time we saw the snippet during the RTX in 2021, I really thought it was Yang calling for Ruby (and a lot of people too). Really didn't think this was Penny, but knowing that is very surprising, unless Ruby was really concerned about Penny being safe. But when I think about it I just think it's weird aha, + it's new recordings...

The hints in V9 really make me think Penny might not be dead, maybe not in Ruby's head but maybe somewhere else, no matter if she's "inside" Winter or somewhere else. :']

For the last part I agree, Penny never wanted the Maiden Powers, it was the only choice she had to face Cinder. It only put a target on her back and we saw it during the entiery of Volume 8 : wanted by Ironwood, the Ace-Ops and hacked by Watts, searched by Salem and the Hound, wanted by Cinder for the powers...she just NEVER had peace and this is exactly what Yang said to Raven at the end of Volume 5 : Salem came with all she had for not just the Relic, but also the powers. And not just Salem, literally everyone-

We could have easily expected all of that after she became the Winter Maiden, she never had one single moment omg. And after all of that, ending her arc just like that, by sacrifice, feels like a stab in the heart (no pun intended-) because she truly deserves this moment of hope. But from what I understand, the fall of Atlas was also planned for a very long time, and for it to be impactful they probably chose to also end Penny's life with it ahaha-

BUT, after what we got from Volume 9, that doesn't mean they decided to leave it here at least for me. RWBY is a story about hope, even if it includes losing people and suffering. Like I said in other posts, Penny always kinda symbolized this hope and light for the world. Having her dying like that made sense for her arc AND the end of Atlas, but it could really be used later for the big bad fight or moment. Idk how because obviously I don't work on RWBY, but eh. xD

Just like Little's death kinda served to the climax in Chapter 8 of Volume 9, because Ruby was so shocked she could only drink the tea after that. Penny's death served to her character but could also serve again for the ultimate moment later, we'll see how if that happens-

[proofwhisky]

tw for alcoholism/addiction and abuse under the cut!

im fine im safe just venting and no you do not need to respond or like this post or anything at all, no expectations no pressure (i should just keep a journal instead) asdjfhjh

my mom's alcohol use is getting so bad she's starting to shake at work and is asking me to bring her a gatorade bottle half full of vodka to the restaurant she waits tables at. this morning she was swaying on her feet slurring her words asking me to please buy her more coke (she has me pick up for her because "it's dangerous") bc she cant survive a 12 hour shift.

for context, she stayed up all night doing 4.5 grams of cocaine and going through a hANDLE of tequila and 8 or 9 beers (maybe more, that's just the amount of empty bottles on the coffee table rn) and i resent it because she had me deep clean the entire house alone just so she could trash it with a superbowl party and get fucking blackout wasted and keep me and my partner up all night squawking about how much she hates her job with her coworker who is also an alcoholic addict.

im her indentured servant. i can only stay at her house if it "stays perfectly clean at all times" which i get and understand but now, looking back, it feels weird man. she and her fiance dont clean up after themselves so i spend hours a day cleaning up after fully grown adults instead of having time to do my own chores or personal upkeep and hobbies, or applying for work or making a resume. dont get me wrong i find time, i made a resume im applying for jobs now i try to practice guitar when i can, but i almost never have time to be here or on discord anymore because of it.

dont get me wrong, im an absolute shithead, im rude as fuck to her, we argue all the time, i make her life much harder. i don't pay rent. i don't buy groceries. i also use drugs and drink. im not an innocent victim in this situation but im still angry and scared for her, and i just wish my family was healthier so i could be close to them, but it will never happen and that makes me sad.

tl;dr my mother's chronic alcohol use is getting so bad that it is beginning to affect her work life and i am feeling used and would like to leave please

[froggytimemachineinternet]

some pretty asks :]

@boygenuiss, this is your ask list, im just doing it weird because i had half the questions answered when i realised i hadn't rebloged :[

Is there anyone youd do anthing for? my brother mal. for the sake of being cringe i will not be tagging them. \

what facinates you? astrophysics and the persuit of knowledge, and the application of knowledge

favorite artists? Hozier, and Barbara Levalle (a painter)

what outfit makes you feel most confidant? clothes were i feel as though i am fully covered. (leather/denim) it makes me feel safe

favorite flower? Alaskan SalmonBerry. its the flower im named after

favorite season? Fall. before i moved down to the lower 48, i had never seen fall. it lasted about 2 weeks, if you were lucky, where i grew up.

favorite movie/tv show? i really enjoyed Fairy tail, however i am a hardcore mlp show. i watched the shit outta that as a kid

favorite color? dark raspberry, but the kind you see in a ruby.

infatuation/first crush? a boy in my kindergarten class named Darius, he ended up bullying me later on though. RIP

How long do you sleep on average? As a person with clinical insomnia, not much and the stuff i get isnt very good

what celebrity do i look like? i have never had somone tell me i look like someone

whats your favorite scent? settling cheesecake, i make it homeade and nothing smells better than a cheesecake while its still batter

Pets? i have had 3 in my life. 1 passed away when i was a child, the other 2 are seniors and living their best life.

what color is your hair natually? what color would you die it? I have dark brown hair, that kinda shines yellow. i would die the ends of my hair forest green

do you have a good relationship with your parents? no. neither of them, or my siblings.

do you take a yearly vacation? i do not have that kinda money

biggest fear? not being strong enough to keep myself safe/not being able to outlast my disablity.

are you taken? no. i have chronically low rizz

what do you wear to bed? lounge wear, the comphy clothes i wear around the house.

best feeling youve ever exsperienced? i dont really have any? i lost a shit ton of my memories due to ptsd. so, im sure im gonna make some good memories, later on in life

whats your skincare routine? i wash my face with bar soap and water, whenever i wear makeup. otherwise i just kinda leave my face alone.

best gift youve ever recieved? as a child i got a lightsaber for christmas, after thinking i wouldnt get it because i was a girl. (i really should have noticed i was trans a while before i did)

favorite book? its a toss up between Skullduggery Pleasent and Septimus Heap. and an honorable mention to Pride and Prejudice.

do you have a garden? plants? nope, i live in an apartment and the plants draw in bugs, no sir.

dream destination? ive always wanted to live in Iceland! far, far away free to be someone outside of the shit ive dealt with

best subject? math. for sure math. once i understand the material i fly through it. i would say that science is my favoite subject, considering im planning on becoming an Astrophysist.

do you want kids? no, never, i woudnt be a good parent and i dont wanna bring kids into this world anyway, this place sucks. esp wher i live lol

whats your sexuality? im bi-romantic, and asexual.

do you prefer loose or baggy clothes? i prefer to wear soft heavy clothes. unfortuanly i live in the south. so no warmth for me. well. to much warmth rather

nail polish? i am currently wearing cobalt blue! i like wearing bold colors when i actually do wear it.

if you could travel to any time period, when would it be and why? i would travel far back to when my native tribe hadnt been decimated. so i could see what my ancestors, my family, actually did. the truth is hard to find after they (genocide perpatrators) tried to bury it all.

do you want/have tattoos and peircings? i want another 2 lobe peircings, and i might get some other ear ones! i am a coward however. i am planning on getting a Tlingit (my tribe) story tatooed on my back, and im also going to get some salmonberry flowers on my neck, surrounding my head/neck like a necklace!

tag list (feel free to ignore if you guys dont wanna do it)

@grandwretch you're my first mutual btw :]

@antipasto-the-theif @puffin-smoke @anunmarkedface @no-see-um-incorrect @new-kanon @bagelbucket @psychethebutterfly

[hexcryingwolf]

hey so, like,

i need somebody close to glip to confront them about the Pearl thing.

i need someone to be as upset about the idea of it as i am.

i need it to be the last straw for somebody.

because if none of that happens, i cant even articulate how horrid that is. that the prospect of this accusation doesnt upset people.

i hope its not true. i hope with every fiber of my being that it didnt happen.

but i fully believe it did. four years after leaving that space my want was still for glip to heal, stop hurting people, and become a better person. i was still pretty scared of them, but i had pretty much moved on by the beginning of this year. there was nothing i could do about it, and sharing my experiences would just put a target on my back anyway, so as a lot of huge life changes were on the horizon for me i felt prepared to let go.

but i cant let this go. after years of tending the wounds that community inflicted on my this was a knife directly into my heart.

remember that political thing that happened in november 2016? i was in the flora irc by that time, and everyone was very rattled by it. glip announced that, to put some good into the world, theyd do a commission for anyone who donated x amount to y charity (i dont remember the specifics). id been a fan of glip's for years at that point, and this was an opportunity to finally have something id wanted for a long time.

a portrait of my cat, who i got as a baby, who passed away after almost twenty-one years, from my favourite artist.

they truly did a wonderful job with it. it looked so much like him. i dont have a lot of photos of him, he lived in the pre-smartphone era, so this was a precious thing to me. i had it printed, i got a frame, i hung it on my wall. it meant everything to me.

after all of the stuff that happened to me and leaving flora, it became tainted. now instead of reminding me of something i loved dearly it reminded me of something that hurt me badly. i couldnt get rid of it though. i took it off the wall, out of the frame, and slotted it onto a shelf where i could still see it, if i wanted to. it felt really awful, but i knew i loved that cat more than i could ever fear glip, so maybe someday i could look at it again without being reminded of them. maybe someday that portrait could go back up on my wall as an expression of love for my first best friend.

then i was told about what they had supposedly done to Pearl. and when i tell you i fucking bluescreened when i heard that... it fucking shattered me. it was a cold knife in my heart. the dog stuff was horrid of course but, something about this just broke something in me.

i had to walk away from my phone. i had to go find one of my cats and just. i just sat on the floor and pet her as she lay on the futon and purred and trusted me utterly, like im sure Pearl did for you, glip. she knows i love her, that i provide for her, that i would never bring harm to her. i just sat with her and cried.

im crying now, writing this. my hands are shaking.

do you care, glip?

my husband came to check on me, i told him what i was told and he was disgusted, the correct response. he was angry. he was angry. and for the first time in years, i wasnt scared of glip anymore.

i was fucking pissed.

i wish i didnt have to explain why, because it should be damn fucking obvious, but let me lay it out: a person's pet is their ward. we have a duty and responsibility to do everything we can to give the best lives possible for the animals we bring into our lives. we are their source of food, shelter, healthcare, everything. we are their world. and they should be able to trust that we would never use them for something selfish, because here's the thing: they don't understand the world as we do. theyre animals, they simply cant. WE are the ones who know right from wrong and act for them accordingly. WE keep them fed. WE keep them safe. WE make that final decision that they cant make when their suffering is to much to bear anymore. they trust us to do the things for them they can never understand.

we dont use them for our own sexual gratification. we dont do this because they dont understand that theyre being used, they have no context for how they are being treated, they dont know it shouldnt be happening.

they are helpless.

they are voiceless.

they are the perfect victim.

like a baby who will never grow up and tell everyone the truth.

like a baby, glip. like a helpless, voiceless baby.

and dont you ever fucking try to play the "well she initiated it" card. animals initiate all kinds of shit they shouldnt, things that are dangerous, could hurt them, could make them sick. knowing better is OUR job.

also. uhm. hey. did you know that "well they started it" is a thing child predators have said, do say, will say, about their victims.

here's a 10yo who "came onto" her abuser

here's a dad who claimed his daughter was just "a sexual kid"

here's a daycare worker who said the 1yo he abused was "promiscuous"

and you, glip. using Pearl because she was just "showing you love". just because its a "nicer" reason doesnt make you any fucking different from these monsters in my eyes.

i could not look at that portrait anymore. how could i ever look at him, and not remember what you do to helpless creatures like him. how could i think about what you did and remember you telling me no, of course marl never touched the cats, when i asked you if you were concerned that he might have. seems my worry was misplaced.

i burned the portrait. i took a small cast iron pot into my yard, ripped it to shreds, and spent a two hundred count box of matches on it. one wasnt enough. ten wasnt enough. one hundred wasnt enough. i did not want this thing to exist anymore. i did not want him, my cat, my first best friend, that piece of my soul that left this earth with him, to ever be able to be associated with you. that fire is burning in me now.

i do not capitalize your name anymore explicitly because you are subhuman by my standards. i do not want you to find healing and get better. i want you to face the consequences for all the hurt youve cause. i want you deplatformed so you can finally stop putting so much agony into the world.

if you didnt do it, youll have to convince me. you know my discord.

if you did do it, admit it. tell everyone what you did. you owe it to people so they can decide whether they want to associate with you or not based on it. i think if someone asks you directly, you wont lie about it.

because you dont believe you did anything wrong, do you?

[sostrangerous]

Ok, I lied, I'm back, but only because I need to give u compliments.

I have never in my life read a fic that has made me this emotionally distraught. I have read works that have made me relive my grief or maybe make me a little anxious, but never ever have I read something like this. I think the reason why is because, particularly, mark, hits too close to home for a lot of reasons, he reminds me of my sister and me, and his family reminds me of mine. Even if I just think about the story I just feel so hopeless and dreadful because I Know it's not gonna get better lol I think it's one of those 'it gets worse before it gets better' stories and the 'it gets worse' part are gonna be so excruciating.

You are very skilled at writing emotionally constipated characters, also, I'm gonna piggy back off that person that said that the story was easy to read because I think that one of the biggest reasons why is because the vocabulary that you use is precise, understandable, and it gets the point across very quickly with as little fanfare as possible and even when you do jazz it up its very natural and it never feels out of place. The way that you use metaphors, internal monologs, and other literary devices is also very good, obviously, I think that if your use of them was bad then the story wouldn't have as much of an impact as it does.

Also, your characterizations of mark, jaemin, jeno, haechan, and renjun don't feel too out of left field, at least for me. I can see how, in another universe, they could've been this way.

This is such a good story, and I've been telling my sister about it, and she agrees. I remember when chapter 16 was posted, and mark had said, "dont make me think about tomorrow... don't make me think about anything at all. " she said that that is exactly what she felt like when she was going through the worst of it with her ocd.

I hope you take everything I wrote as a compliment because I really do mean it. no story has ever made me want to organize my thoughts into something concise and have the courage to tell the person. You are a marvelous writer, and I hope that writing brings you joy and refuge from whatever your troubles might be because even though as much as much as your writing hurts its comforting to know that there's people out there that think and feel in ways that I thought were just me. Thank you, I hope you have a day or night and be safe.

Also fuck Cameron.

thank you so much for this, i feel like nothing i say will be enough to convey how honored i am by comments like this. seriously, to hear that my work has a profound impact makes me incredibly happy, im so so so happy you like my writing :')

i will make a certified authorial guarantee that mark is making it out of here, no matter what. i would not abandon him to misery. it feels a thousand times heavier for him when hes home, but freedom is there waiting for him. his friends love him too much!!!!

also, thank you so much, im overjoyed to hear my prose is good. i geuinely think ive gotten much more skilled at writing by working on this fic. i purposefully try to pare down my prose to get rid of repetition and saying the obvious too loudly, so im definitely aiming for 'little fanfare' in my writing BUT ALSO im glad you like my metaphors :))))) im so happy to hear they feel natural and fit the rest of the prose.

again tysm for this ask, i owe u my life forever. please keep loving this fic as much as i love writing it <3333