#but they keep on bringing them back to life dont they...im never safe

[pnfc]

i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

I'm up way later than I need to be and listening to music while I draw and this song gives me SUCH Sabo feelings and I would love to hear your opinions!! (Never Love An Anchor by The Crane Wives)

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=Y07xArvIvjw&si=ffMbMHTWuHHnxY2C

You dare bring. The Crane Wives. Into this peaceful household.

Never Love an Anchor no less.

RELATING THE SONG TO THE BLORBO FROM MY SHOW NO LESS

The audacity.

Anyway.

Yeah it makes me think about how Sabo left Ace and Luffy on his own accord at the end. Of course it was a last resort but he left them because he knew that this was the only way for them all to be free.

He left knowing that he would probably not see him until they were 17. Or maybe even never again.

He left them so that they could be safe. Because as long as long as he was with him, as far as he could see, hands would still try to claim him, resulting in the ones he loves getting hurt.

There was no winning for Sabo or any of them. As long as he tried delaying the inevitable, it just never would have happened.

He had to give up what he loved so he could keep it.

And then after he regains his memories, him thinking how much he’s changed. His claws might hurt the one he loves so dearly, even though at this point he doesnt even know him anymore. What if when Luffy finds out that he was alive, it only hurts him deeper. Knowing that there was someone who would have made a difference that day wasnt there. Reliving not only that day in the moment of reuniting, but the say he lost Sabo, too.

I dont find it strange that Sabo didnt try to reunite with Luffy until dressrosa. And in fact i think that reuniting with luffy is something he did as an absolute last resort. I think he truly didnt want to meet him that day at all.

In the anime alone, it doesnt much show it, but in the manga and the Episode of Sabo his hesitance and nerves are really clear to me. He takes a second before he starts walking to talk to luffy. His hand is clutched and shaking. He walks as slowly as he can. And also he only does it after he knows that Luffy cant get the fruit.

They both need that fruit safe. An heirloom of their precious brother, the only thing they have left that can life on from him.

If Luffy could’ve finished that tournament, im fairly certain Sabo would’ve never revealed himself.

I think he feels like he might hurt luffy if he did, but i also think that he didnt feel he deserved it. To reunite with Luffy after all that time. After all that happened.

Going back to the song, the lyrics

“So, I did the only thing that i could And severed the rope to set you sailing from my harbor.”

Even though it was Sabo who went sailing from the harbor, what he was doing was sever the rope from his connections with luffy and Ace so that they could grow and be free without worrying about being held back by him and the weight of his life keeping him suffocating at the bottom of the harbor he’s being drowned in.

If sabo had successfully left Goa that day, and he had reunited with Ace or Luffy somewhere down the line, i think he would act the same way he did in dressrosa that day. I think he would feel his baggage is too much, someone could be after him. And he wouldnt want to reunite. Especially after how he left them.

To me, that letter didnt read as a “i hope i see you again”, but a “goodbye forever”. Which i mean,,,, it was one, at least in Ace’s case, so … 🤷‍♀️ kill me

Anyway, the sentencing of your crimes of Crane Wives-ing me will be capital punishment, i hope you understand.

Thanks for the ask!

[cyberkitty1]

Secrets

- he knows that the work he does is dangerous and could very easily all blow up in his face, but he wants.. no needs to keep you and the other two people he has in his life. He keeps his work away from home he doesn’t want you or his mother to figure out anything. But one small mistake and he releases his secret.

“ Where is he? “ you mumbled to yourself dressed casually ready for your pre-planned date with Miles. You guys where planning on going to small restaurants to eat at them go to him place for a movie. Checking the time on your phone your realize he’s an hour late late. He was supposed to pick you up at 7:00.

So you text him

y/n. where are u??? you where supposed to pick me up over an hour ago

seen

“ Are you kidding me? “. You stare at your phone waiting for a response but it doesn’t happen. you start to get frustrated, upset even. The tears build in your eyes as you tilt your head up to the sealing. This is the fifth time he flaked on you, in a row.

You decide to get undressed, no point in waiting anymore. Just as you where about to lay down and put on your favorite show, Bzzz he texted you.

miles. im sorry mami i got called in for work ill make it up to you

y/n. so work is more important than me now???

miles. dont start now we will talk later

y/n. sure

seen

She was mad, beyond mad angry. The thing that got to her the most was that he told her he would take her out not the other way around. Slowly the anger turned into sadness, why was he always working? Was this so called work even important? was he cheating? No he would never.

You where just so confused. You checked the time and saw is was already 10 o’clock, had you thought that much? You sighed brining the blanket up to your neck turning off the TV to watch tiktoks on your phone. He texted you multiple times but you where not in the mood to respond.

Suddenly you heard the familiar sound of your window being opened. You knew who it was but you didn’t want to look; continuing to face the opposite way.

You heard him close the window behind him and walk a couple steps. “I know youre awake” he said “ I never said I wasnt “ you spit back. “ well you werent even looking at my texts, whys that?” he questioned. You sat up turning twords him “ you know why! “ tears filling your eyes.

“I waited an hour for you to show up but you never did! I waited and waited until i gave up.” Miles sighs holding the bridge of his nose. “ im sorry you know that, I had work-” “ oh! so work is more important than me? Youre willing to ditch me so you can go do your so called “ work” you said doing air quotations.

His face hardens “alto, te dije cuando nos pusimos serios que mi trabajo me llama al azar. Whenever they need me I go” he sighed. You thought about what you were going to say next. “ Ok Miles, but i need you too” you tried to keep your voice even but failed, your eyes welled with tears threatening to fall. He sat next to you on your bed.

“Lo sé mami, lo siento, sé que puse el trabajo antes que tú, pero estoy haciendo esto para mantenerte a salvo, ¿verdad?.” You only stared at him. “ Keep me safe from what?” He closed his eyes taking a deep breath, and explained to you everything from the moment his dad died.

“ Solo lo hago para que mi mamá no tenga que trabajar tanto por dinero. Ella ya hace tanto por mí que necesito ayudar. Do you understand?” You turn and look at his brown eyes just as the moonlight hits them. His eye bags are dark his face is tired.

You know what he does now and for some reason you are not scared instead you feel for him. You had no idea he was going through all that he never told you.

You wrap your arms around his neck bringing him into a hug, in turn be wraps his hands around your waist head resting on your shoulder.

“ You’re not scared of me right mami?” He says quietly “never mi amor.”

This was not proof read that much sorry .

This is my very first writing on here so please be kind. I have more in the works so expect more soon 🤭

[anemoiashifts]

how tiktok failed the shifting community

& how shiftok keeps you stuck idk what to call this. 🫶🏻

to make this clear, i do not hate tiktok. i dont hate people on tiktok who want to shift. i dont have a problem with people on tiktok talking about shifting.

this post is not about anyone specific. ive sold a shifting journal on amazon. which may seem hypocritical though ive never made a promise that it will make you shift & its not supposed to.

!! this post isn’t an excuse to push all the communities problems on shiftok. much like the animal crossing community pre-new horizons, as communities grow bigger, its expected to bring some toxicity with it. problems exist in all corners of the internet & in certain groups.

however, there is a specific issue within the shifting community that involves tiktok & that is the integration of money & profit being made off of people’s desperation.

shifting was / can be presented as this alternative “safe place” & escape for people with serious mental illness that consist of not wanting to be living this life anymore. & that’s fine on its own. everything we do is a form of escapism like readings or watching tv. as long as it’s healthy, it’s harmless. ive touched on permashifting & sv!c!d4l ideation before but id like to piggyback off of that point.

to clarify for everyone new: i am not against perma-shifting. i am against some of the langue that is used around it. you don’t need to k!ll yourself to shift. this is what im speaking about.

when you have an audience that is deteriorating & only going through the motions of life, when your only desire is to get out of the situation you are in, is it extremely easy to profit off of vulnerable people. this fact paired with tiktok — where you get paid & your income is dependent on engagement — it becomes overwhelmingly clear why pushing out content that keeps their audience within arms reach of actually shifting. it’s more profitable if you have an audience of people who can’t shift & want to as opposed to an audience of people who can shift & don’t need validation from exterior sources. it becomes easy to ignore people’s struggles if that’s what you’re making money off of. there is a lack of a healthy viewpoint & balance within some parts of the community.

calling back to 2020 when shiftok was in its infancy, there was a lot of “pov” & storytime style content. there is nothing wrong with wanting to share your experiences but making “entertainment” is arguably much, much easier & profitable. keeping that in mind, why i believe the practice of shifting is so seemingly popular amongst a younger demographic is because it brings fandom spaces together. it’s one thing to watch a show & obsess over fictional characters & read fan fiction but to live alongside your favorite character & be equal with those you idolize, it can sound very appealing. keeping shifting as entertainment style content, it makes it no different then fanfiction & oc’s. again !! i have no problem with people speaking about their experiences / wants for when they shift but the issue is when people only focus on that & it becomes a numbers game.

i hold no issue with people selling their labor in any community but when you sell something with the promise to “make you shift” is when it becomes problematic. when you sell false promises & empty hope, you are also banking that your audience is desperate enough to cling to anything that reminds them of what they want. it speaks to how the creator views their audience to an extent & id argue is aware of the dozens of (mostly) children expressing their negative worldview that displays an unhealthy mentality.

this is why i don’t do general readings as frequently & personal readings at all anymore. quite honestly, it’s easy engagement. while not my intention, people often change their perspective & “make” things fit their situation. i hate hate hate to say this but in desperation, you can make a sign out of anything. this is not me trying to take away the feeling of internal knowing. to give this thought weight, i remember a while ago i posted a reading that was & has been channeled from a person in my desired reality. the comments were flooded by “i know who this is from” & “this is from this person in my dr”. i clarified in the video — the very first slide — that this was from a specific person & everyone completely ignored that fact to fit their beliefs. if you find meaning in something that’s great but when something is explicitly stated as one thing don’t manipulate it to fit yourself if it’s not truly meant for you. not every reading is supposed to resonate. by forcing it to it removes the intimate aspects of what is truly just for you. if everything has meaning, nothing has meaning.

circling back to my idea before, readings & “this message was meant for you content” does open the floodgates to tell their audience what they want to hear for the sake of growth, profit, engagement. yes, there are some readings that don’t pander to a specific group of views but those “stop scrolling this was meant for you, he’s thinking about you, if you see this letter or number it’s a sign & you should be expecting a phone call or someone to reach out to you soon” readings that come up on your fyp are eight times out of ten for engagement purposes & to tell you what you want to hear by using generic langue to make profit. no, not all readings are set up this way and not everyone thinks like this. there are plenty of people who don’t do it for money or attention. even if people did it for money, some people hold issue with that while others don’t. the like it or not, just make sure you’re doing it in a way that’s not making peoples mental situation worse & giving others false hope.

while not reading based, this sounds familiar when we acknowledge “shifting symptoms”. early on, people seemed to take them as being close to shifting & literally feeling the process of you becoming apart of your desired reality. now we know, all those tingles & twitched are only your body checking to see if you’re asleep. the name becomes very mis-leading when you take into that content.

the tldr of this post was when you intertwine spirituality & profit in spaces where people are desperate for something that feels larger then them, people’s actions can put bad tastes in people’s mouths. looking at tiktok, views = money. when numbers are given to people who have shifted & deemed influencers (because that’s how tiktok was pretty much designed) it becomes easy to see why some idolize to be like these people’s — “they shifted & i didn’t, they seem to have everything figured out, they must be better at it then i am, they must be special & not like the rest of us.” it creates a cycle of self doubt, unfortunately, while keeping you in the same “i can’t shift” mindset while these same people are selling a piece of them that you seemingly “lack”.

[skotiwolves]

“Just one more before you go,” he said.

It became common, and Hunter beat himself up every time he forgot to give her one. It became a thing for them, especially when she started being away from home more frequently.

They served as reminders for her, how much he loved her, but for him, too.

A reminder of the life he was given. The life he chose to have—as a father.

She smiled, blowing air out of her nose. He raised his arms as she approached him, laying each of them on her shoulders. He raised his left, bringing it to the back of her neck and pulling her forehead to him.

He planted a kiss to her head then, holding them there briefly. He didn’t want to keep her for long. Plus, he gave her one when she got home hours prior.

But another never hurt. He pulled away and laid his hands on her shoulders, admiring her.

The newest pilot for the Rebellion. She grew up to be beautiful and strong—not like Hunter ever doubted it. She held qualities from all of her brothers, and Hunter never failed to smile with pride and grief when she practiced her tech-turn for him.

He was so proud of her, but their goodbyes never got any easier. No matter how many times she returned or left, the weight in his chest never faded. Their salutes never felt lighter, the last look that he always gave her before she turned her attention to the cockpit was always taken for granted.

The habit was built up over years, and it now acted as the silent mediator between them to tell her everything he’d reiterated to her year after year, though never losing their importance.

Please be safe.

If you need us, we’ll be there.

I’m so proud of you.

I love you.

-

hey @mroddmod im crying thanks i fell down a rabbit hole of insane emotions from your recent i hope you dont mind

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @iamburdened - thanks so much!! ♡

Daryl Dixon x she/her!reader

Something To Hold On To

Another night is spent in your half empty bed, staring out of the window, unable to sleep. Watching. Waiting. Desperate. The events that led you to this agonising repetition haunt you, ghosts of the past preventing your present from ever seeing a future, because it is unchanging now.

Denise’s death snapped something in Daryl, you knew it from the moment he got back that day, but you had never thought in a million years that anything would have the power to push him away from you. From your perspective, the death of a loved one brings you closer to the rest of the people you love, because it reminds you to cherish every moment with them, but for Daryl...it was different. You followed him all the way to the gate that day, trying to persuade him not to go out there because you knew what he could be risking. Usually, you were the one person guaranteed to get through to him, it had been that way since the farm, when the group found out where Sophia had been all that time. You were the only one that Daryl couldnt snap at, for some reason he had restraint around you. But that day at the gate, he lost it.

“The hell ya think yer doin’? You dont own me, I aint yers, who were we tryin’ to kid thinkin’ any of this was worth it?! Im better off by my damn self, ya don’ get a say in what I do, aint the boss of me. Run back to yer house, yer garden, an’ block out reality like ya usually do! Never should’a let this go on fer so long.”

Daryl was in your face, throwing his arms up in big theatrical gestures, bringing the attention of everyone who happened to be around. You stood there broken in front of him, unable to say a word; what was there to say after hearing that? With a final scoff, he got on his bike, and he was gone.

The next and last time you saw him was at the lineup. Despite everything that he’d said to break your heart, you couldnt keep your eyes off of him, seeing him in such a state and not being able to go to him was the most painful thing you’d ever experienced. After Abraham, you were staring at Daryl for strength, to keep yourself together, to prevent you from looking at what was left of your friend. Obviously, an egotistical prick like Negan didnt take kindly to you refusing to look at him.

“Well, it looks like we’ve got a couple of lovers in our midst! ‘Scuse me darlin’, would you mind paying me a little attention? I did just brutally kill this poor ginger after all, the least you could do is admire my work!” Negan’s voice was almost flirtatious, in the most sadistic way, but when you continued to refuse him, he shoved his barbed-wire-bound bat in your face and yelled. “Take a damn look!”

And you got the surprise of your life. Daryl leapt to his feet, swinging at Negan and landing a hard punch to his jaw before he was held down. You cried out, trembling feverishly, thinking that Negan was going to kill Daryl for that, but instead he took Glenn. That, you couldnt look away from. The devastation in Daryl’s eyes told you that he blamed himself for Glenn’s death, and you would have done anything to reassure him, but then he was taken.

And every night since, you have been like this. Lying awake and staring out the window at the Alexandria gate, waiting for it to magically open and reveal Daryl, safe and sound. Trying to sleep with your paranoia over what was happening to him, whether he was even still alive, was an impossible feat in itself. But that combined with trying to decode Daryl’s actions, from brutally ending your relationship because he didnt want you anymore, to risking his own life just because a very threatening man was talking to you. Of course, you know Daryl is a kind man, he loves deep and cares so much more than he lets on, it isnt out of character for him to defend you after ending things with you. But, over the years Daryl has gotten a lot more level-headed, and in a situation like that, he could usually be trusted to hold it together better than pretty much anyone else; he’s an expert at bottling things up, after all. The fact that he lashed out like that, you’d only have expected a reaction of that ferocity from him being in love with you still, which completely counterbalanced what he’d said earlier that day. If he did still love you, why would he say such horrible things? None of it made sense, all you want to do is talk to him and find out what he meant, you need to see him, and you dont know how far away that day will be, if it’s even possible.

Night’s without Daryl are difficult, but you have some things to make the days a little easier. Rick keeps a close eye on you, knowing that what Daryl said really messed you up and that regardless, being without him is hard on you. He regularly asks you to join him in completing various tasks, or even to just watch Judith because it gives you something to distract yourself from it all. It was when you were distracted that the other things came into play.

Judith is sitting in your lap, listening to you intently as you read her a story. She’s just had her morning feed and is due for a name anytime now, reading to her always helps her drift off without a fuss.

“The prince found the sleeping princess, and he leant down to give her a kiss-“

And then, you are gone.

It was late, and you had promised yourself you were going to stay awake until Daryl had returned from the run. He could be gone until tomorrow morning, you didnt care, you were stubborn enough to stick it out. Or, so you thought. As the sun rose and Daryl crept through the front door, he found you passed out on the stairs. He laughed quietly to himself, but couldnt help feeling guilty at putting you in that position by being home late. As gently as he could, Daryl lifted you up into his arms and carried you up the stairs bridal style. He carefully laid you down in the bed you shared, kicking his shoes off before crawling in beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist and placing a soft kiss on your forehead, causing you to stir awake.

“You’re home!” Your sleepily slurred whispers were joyous, a welcome sound to Daryl’s own tired ears.

“Yeah I am, now get some rest, got the day off tomorrow.” Daryl mumbled.

You gasped and turned over to snuggle into his chest. “A whole day to makeout like teenagers?”

Daryl scoffed, blushing and burying his face in the pillow, making you laugh.

When you come back to yourself, Judith is asleep in your arms, and the tears you hadnt realised were rolling down your cheeks have started falling onto her little head. You’re quick to gently dry her head with the blanket around her, and then you wipe your own eyes with your hand.

Later, when Rick comes to take Judith and you’re jogging down the porch steps of the Grimes house, you happen to glance down the street. For maybe half a second, the perfect vision of Daryl standing in the distance, waving at you, stops you dead in your tracks. Tears fill your eyes, and by the time you’ve cleared them, he’s gone. Rick watches from the window as you wipe your eyes and hurry down the street in the opposite direction to your house, where you’d just told him you were going. You have to walk the long way round to avoid heading towards the place you’d just seen Daryl standing. Wherever he appears, that’s always the way.

Flashbacks and visions of him get you through the day, and as painful as they are, they make you feel something, they give you fleeting moments of joy until reality returns to you. Blocking out reality, that’s what Daryl said you did, but you’d never truly done that until now. At night, no flashbacks or visions ever came, and every night is eerily silent. Numb, empty, cold no matter how many blankets you wrap around yourself.

The one time you decided to distract yourself by leaving Alexandria to go on a supply run, Negan happened to show up, and he brought Daryl with him. Apparently, Negan asked Rick where you were, and Daryl looked up from the ground to watch Rick’s face as he answered.

“She left on a supply run this morning, she probably wont be back for a few days.” Rick said, holding Daryl’s gaze for just a moment so that Daryl knew two things: one, he was telling the truth, and two, you were alive.

“Well that is a shame, I brought Daryl here just for her!” Negan sighed dramatically, and then continued to go about his asshole business.

Ever since, you have stayed within the walls of Alexandria. You know that if you had been there that day, you would’ve lost your mind seeing Daryl, and probably gotten yourself in trouble for not being able to keep it together. But having the knowledge of it happening when you werent here, knowing it could happen again, however unlikely that may be, you have prepared yourself.

It’s been too long, you refused to count the days because with every one that passed it would feel like you were even further away from Daryl. At least now you know that Negan is keeping Daryl alive. Torturing him, yes, but keeping him alive.

When Rick asks you to come with him and a group to the Hilltop, you’re hesitant, wanting to stay at Alexandria just in case Negan comes back. You will gladly bargain your life for Daryl’s safe return home, and Rick knows that, which is exactly why he persuades you to come with him to the Hilltop. It takes a lot of persuasion, mainly bringing up the fact that one of your closest friends, Maggie, would love to see you. Rick will proudly admit to guilt-tripping you if it means he avoided you offering your life up to Negan.

The gates of the Hilltop open before you, and you’re already itching to go back to Alexandria, paranoid that Negan is back there with Daryl. The group follows Rick through the gates, and for a moment you’re occupied by your thoughts, until Rosita nudges you and gestures for you to head inside the walls. Maggie embraces Rick, and when Rick pulls away, he looks to his right and his eyes fill with tears. You follow his gaze. In a fraction of a second, your vision is blurred, and you’ve collapsed to your knees, in silent, sobbing hysterics. Maggie, Rosita and Tara are quick to huddle around you, offering you comforting words that you cant even hear. Your hands cover your face as you sob into them, you cant see or hear anything, but you can feel a pair of familiar eyes burning into you from afar.

Tara lets go of you to join Rick and Michonne in hugging him, welcoming him back.

Rick glances at everyone else, all of them having a good idea of what he’s about to say before he even opens his mouth. “Let’s head inside, they need to catchup.”

You feel the comforting arms leave you, and you lower your shaking hands from your face, wiping your eyes and slowly rising to your feet. It takes all the strength you have left to lift your head, to meet his eyes. Daryl. His name sets you on fire, goosebumps rippling all over your skin, your throat suddenly dry and heart pounding against your ribs.

He looks awkward, uncomfortable, like he’s holding back from something. You know him too well. You cross your arms over your chest and slowly walk over to him.

And despite everything, you manage to smile at him. “You’re really back?” You ask, voice somewhat hoarse from all the crying you’ve just done.

Daryl nods, not saying anything.

“I dont know what happened to you, but I am so, so sorry.” You tell him, your sincerity laced in every syllable, almost bringing yourself back to tears at the thought of what he could have gone through.

Daryl nods again.

You take a deep breath, preparing to say the words you’ve been planning. “And I want you to know that I’ve come to terms with everything, regarding us no longer being, well, us...and I get it, things change and dont always work out-“ You nod to yourself while avoiding his eyes, as though still trying to convince yourself. “-but I want you to know that I can put it all behind me, and I will.” You meet his eyes. “Because more than anything, I want to be here for you, for whatever you need.”

Daryl shakes his head, finally finding the courage to speak. “Stupidest thing I ever did.”

For a brief moment, the sound of his voice leaves you breathless, but you quickly regain control of yourself.

“What was?” You ask.

“Everythin’ I said to ya that day, I was fuckin’ stupid, an’ wrong.” Daryl admits, shaking his head again, angry at himself.

“Y-You were?” You stammer out, unable to believe what you’re hearing and in desperate need of an explanation.

Daryl stares into your eyes for a few seconds, and you can almost see him taking in the sight of you to beat himself over the head with, to relive this guilt and torture himself further.

He glances down at his shoes. “Thought I had the strength t��� push ya away, t’ try and protect you, but I realised that there aint nobody that’d try as hard as me to keep ya safe.” Daryl looks back up at you, holding your gaze, not shy about admitting his last sentiment. “I’d die fer you.”

Your eyes start filling with fresh tears of an entirely different meaning. “Daryl...”

Daryl shrugs you off, avoiding your eyes because he knows you can see right through him; you know how hard it is for him to talk about his feelings, but he’ll do it for you. “I know i’s too late, I took too damn long realisin’ what was good fer me. For all I know ya could’ve moved on already, but I wouldnt be able to live with myself if I didnt tell ya the truth.”

Then, you smile, and Daryl cant avoid looking at you any longer. The sight of your genuine smile has been his favourite memory to cling to in that cell, the one view he couldnt wait to see again, even if it was never directed at him after what he’d done. You take the single step necessary to stand toe to toe with him, and you ever so slowly lift your hands to cup his face. Daryl breathes a sigh of relief, his eyes immediately closing as he relaxes into your touch, instinctively, even after all this time.

“How could I ever move on from the man I’d die for?”

[heronoegg]

Rewatching the anime a little bit to refresh my mind and I dont know if it's just the anime but if I had to get rid of anything in the anime that annoys me the most it would be AND LISTEN TO ME READ IT HOW IM SAYING IT

the way they went about making Uraraka have a crush on Deku

It's so annoying to the point I dont wanna "fix it" I just want it gone.

It's kinda long what I have to say and if you like Uraraka/Deku this post probably isn't for you

See it would be fine if it wasn't her whole personality and if you dont agree with me that's fine but I just.. it's hard to watch them fail my girl.

My most annoying parts of it are definitely.

- when she was taking her exam with Aoyama and him bringing up mention of the fact she liked Deku made her lose all composeture in a situation like that. 13 was literally caught off guard that she let go and the only reason they won is because she didnt wanna rip the children apart using black hole or void or whatever her quirk is called.

-when shes fighting Himiko for the first time in the forest training arc shes in FULL ON ATTACK AND PROTECT TSU MODE she man handles Himiko to the ground and I'm rooting for her. Himiko all of a sudden brings up a love interest cause she can smell it on or in Uararka's blood or something that she knows she likes a person. This takes over Uraraka's mind and she leaves ATTACK PROTECT MODE and is blushing and confused like a yandere simulator when you see Senpai. like... why is this scene needed? We know Uraraka likes Deku why does it have to get in the way of Himiko potentially almost stabbing or ending Tsu's life right in front of Uraraka? They were in a fight, having feelings for your crush is not gonna automatically flip your brain into "☺ oh no I remembered I like him" she could have just been extremely confused and Himiko was talking about how she loves Stain the same way Uraraka apparently has feelings for Deku, this scene is only here to show us Uararka liking Deku is making her mess up and that's why later she says she'll put those feelings away and then doesn't put them away cause she allows this to be in the forefront of her mind, Mina even teases her about it later with the present Deku got her. There's nothing wrong with Deku getting her a present and her cherishing it but she keeps it in her arm shoot thingy and when Himiko stole it season 6 Uraraka chased her to get it back cause it meant a lot to her... if it meant a lot to you leave it home??? I'm not gonna bring my keychain I like a lot or something someone gave me to the battle field leave that home where you know its safe

-in movie 1 Uararka is first scene stuttering because she was eavesdropping in on Deku and Melissia having a normal conversation about the island expo. Momo and Jirou are angry for her for no reason because this is meant to be perceived as Deku "cheating" on Uraraka by hanging out with another girl and it really isn't, they were literally just geeking out about hero gear and being a hero I rewatched the movie with my friend a little bit and she said "it's easy to ship Deku with Melissa because I dont feel like it's being pushed in my face ''THEY LIKE EACHOTHER GIGGLE GIGGLE'' it literally just showed two people who are more alike than they knew cause they are both quirkless and geeks about heroes talking about geeky hero stuff. Your next thing is your gonna probably say I'm hating cause I ship Deku with Melissa, I dont care about shipping the characters I was just making a point I honestly really need Deku and Melissa to stay platonic and friends cause shipping them just isn't my tea but to each it's own, I'm not saying I hate Deku/Uraraka I'm just saying there was a better way to go about making them fall in love or have a crush on eachother cause so far into the forest training arc and onward it's one sided, Deku never really thinks about Uraraka the way she thinks about him next your gonna say but in the beginning Deku was crazy about her cause he was like "A GIRL TALK TO ME" when he came to UA and when he talk to her on the phone he was like "I TALK TO A GIRL ON THE PHONE!" He did say these things, girls dont talk to Deku, not in his old middle school not ever really, he's a 15 year old boy if a nerdy kid talks to a girl he's going to geek out about it cause that never happen before

-it's just hard in general to watch her say "I'm gonna put these feelings away cause they get in my way" and then she proceeds to not do that even when shes putting them away she keeps bringing it up or its shown that she clearly didnt "put them away" cause she's struggling to not think abo it Deku in every trial she faces. I kid you not I remember her saying "what would Deku do" the same way Deku says "what would Allmight do" and it's really annoying.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk I just wanted to talk about this cause I dont really appreciate how her romance life is handled. If you like Deku/Uraraka power to you but I dont and I can only see them as friends and she had a crush on him but he friend zoned her

[zirawrites]

im feeling angsty.

lets set the scene for this react.

synth shaun one day, as an adult, is killed due to actions caused by the companion. it wasnt directly their fault, but it was because of something they did. brought home the wrong person, made a simple mistake. anything of the sort.

sole is completely broken and rage fueled.

"I gave you everything i had! My home! My heart! My possessions! Everything! And now...i dont even have my family. Get out of my sight."

the last time they see sole is at the funeral. they try to comfort them, but perhaps say the wrong thing at the wrong time. sole angrily leaves without a word.

It was an errant bullet. A one-in-a-million shot. Sole’s companion had aimed at a ghoul, but the bullet ricocheted off the metal beam and stuck right between Shaun’s eyes. He fell to his knees, a flash of recognition across his face, and then he toppled forward. Sole’s scream was drowned out by the ringing of the gunshot. The feral’s agitated howling. And the companion’s own heartbeat.

That was the memory that haunted them for weeks. It was wrong of them to attend Shaun’s funeral. They could tell by Sole’s expression; twisted and flushed and still so angry. But they had to apologize. They had to lift the heavy burden of hatred off Sole’s shoulders.

Cait: “Would ya just listen to my apology, Sole?!” Cait’s voice cracked at the end; a hollow sound that could have swallowed all the grief in the world and never been filled. “I loved that rascal like me own. He didn’t deserve what happened to him, but I fired that shot to keep him safe, not kill him.” She hugged herself against the chilling sting of regret. “Can’t you see that, Sole?”

Codsworth: “I waited 200 years, sir/mum!” Codsworth’s robotic voice rattled around his metallic body before resounding across the graveyard. It was laced with so much grief it made Sole wonder, for the briefest second, if Mr. Handys had physical hearts. And if they could break. “I waited 200 years for you and the young master to return. Why would I take him away from you? Why would I take him away from me?” Something inside him sputtered. Perhaps it really was his heart. “I love you both. So much, Sole. Please don’t leave me again.”

Curie: “Sole, wait!” Curie caught Sole’s wrist and gasped when her friend violently jerked away. Curie felt like she was somehow diseased, and her mere touch was pure poison. “I did not mean to harm young Shaun. Of course you know this, yes? Why won’t you talk to me about it? Why won’t you even let me make it right?” When Sole turned their back, Curie let out a guttural sob that caught them both off guard.

Danse: Danse was no stranger to grief. He had seen fellow soldiers fall in battle. And mourned his own identity after discovering he was a synth. But what Sole was going through was beyond anything he could comprehend. And it was because of his actions. He followed Sole across the graveyard, his pace a respectful distance behind. “There are no words I can say to bring your son back. He was a promising young man, and it’s my fault his story ended there.” Sole still walked ahead, but their legs staggered forward. Their hand wiped feebly at the tears on their cheeks. “Let me make it right, Sole. Tell me what I can do to ease your burden, and I’ll do it.”

Deacon: Deacon had done some horrible things in his life to earn him a nice, warm spot in hell. It was his past that got his wife killed, and his pure stupidity that took down Shaun. He knew whatever he said to Sole would never be enough. Hell, Deacon wasn’t even sure Sole would believe him. But he had to try. “Sole.” Deacon took off his sunglasses, hoping Sole saw the raw remorse in his pale blue eyes. “I can’t even begin to apologize. Maybe all my words are worth bullshit. But please... I just...” He sniveled; a cowardly sound befitting of a lowlife such as himself. “I didn’t mean to kill Shaun. It was an accident. I swear. I...” He had run out of words. Run out of truth. Deacon stared at Sole with a tearful gaze and hoped it was enough.

Hancock: Hancock saw Shaun’s shocked expression every time he closed his eyes. He smelled the blood running down his forehead when he inhaled chems. Felt the splatter across his face when it rained. Hancock couldn’t live the rest of eternity with that memory. He needed Sole to unburden him just as badly as Sole needed the relief themselves. “Sunshine, you know I’d never lay a hand on your boy. Shooting Shaun was an accident. One I’ve gotta live with the rest of my ghoulified life, ya dig?” He took off his hat and pressed it to his heart. “Don’t let Shaun’s ghost haunt the finite time we’ve got left together.”

MacCready: MacCready didn’t blame Sole for shutting him out. He had no idea what he’d have done if it was Duncan on the floor, bullet between his glassy eyes. He wasn’t even sure why he came to Shaun’s funeral, if not to absolve Sole of the guilt. And of himself, if it came to that. “I don’t even know what to say.” MacCready spoke to Sole’s turned back. His hat was clenched in his bloodless hands. “I know you hate me. I’d hate me too, Sole. But please... don’t let this turn you into what I became after losing Lucy. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone I love.”

Preston: Preston had been wracked with grief ever since accidentally killing Shaun. The Minutemen couldn’t get him to leave his quarters, and when he did it was with a bottle of booze in his hands. Preston had never turned to alcohol before, but he needed something to numb the pain. Give him liquid courage to face Sole one last time. When he approached them at Shaun’s funeral, his eyes stung with tears. He smelled of whiskey and the Wastes. “Sole...” Preston only got their name out before sobbing and falling to his knees.

Piper: Piper couldn’t imagine the hardship that would be forgiving Sole if they shot Nat. It was why she didn’t blame them for turning their back on her. Still, Piper had to apologize. She needed Sole to know it was an accident, and she had loved Shaun, and she still loved Sole. “Blue, I get it. I fucked our friendship up. I fucked your life up. But it was an accident. I swear on everything. I swear on Nat that I didn’t mean to hurt him. Please just... look at me.”

Nick: Nick had spent his whole existence saving strangers’ loved ones only to kill the son of his best friend. It was somehow ironic. Bitterly so. He went to Shaun’s funeral to pay respects, but also to apologize. “They don’t make men like your boy, Sole. You raised him well.” He lowered his hat in reverence. In shame. “I’m sorry an old synth like me ended the life of someone so promising.”

X6-88: X6 had felt like he killed Father himself. He had remembered when the original Shaun was a younger man. He’d been full of bright ideas; sometimes so enthusiastic about them that his cheeks flushed and he seemed high on nothing more than inspiration. Now both Shauns were dead, and X6 blamed himself for everything. “My apology isn’t enough. I know that, sir/ma’am.” X6 stood stoic next to Shaun’s grave. Sole wouldn’t meet his sunglasses. “It should have been me. Both times.”

[goatpaste]

🖊that fucken green guy or whatever he name may be idk

assuming u mean my lil green idiot jojo boy, Mac ^^

iv talked about mac probably the most out of all my jojo ocs (considering he is much like a sona to me in ways)

but i love him, he's a big terrible silly man. He honestly is a good person but at time is a big selfish or cowardly.

In the events of my lil oc fan part, he is of the few who mostly stays a 'neutral' party in the fight. He's best friends with Janelle and Holly and will not stop them in their plans to take down Roxanne, but he also can't bring himself to support them. He is loyal to Roxanne. He know's shes a bad person and under her he has done bad things. Often justifying it for as long as Roxie keeps the promise of keeping their their 'family' safe and never bringing harm to them. Parts of him also fear that if Roxanne goes away, he might still be a bad person without someone to fall back on and make excuses for his behavior and actions. All the people he has hurt for her, all those he cared about that he's shown his crueler side to for her... what if all the times he said 'im not like that, im only doing it for her because she gave me so much i owe her' were just half ass excuses. What if he is just a bad person...

I dont have all of their story planned out, but i know Mac would eventually become a martyr. Picturing a scene where Roxanne has broken her promise to not hurt their 'family' and she's presumably killed Janelle and Mac can no longer defend Roxanne, fighting her and using what leniency he has been granted being one of Roxies closest and most trusted men. Getting himself killed while sending out a clue or a way for the rest of those trying to take down Roxanne could use to finally get rid of her. Janelle not only surviving but now finding a new reason to fight, for her friend who gave up his life and all for them.

Mac is a big big silly guy who is a good person who has been making bad choices for some time now and is winding up to a big karmatic pay.

[godisg4y]

yesss!! pls start posting again omg!! i love ur work, u dont understand. and i would LOOOVE if u wrote a pt 2 to the chifuyu S.I.M.P fic where they actually speak or sumth idk im not creative lmaoooo i just need ur content in my life auuuggghhhhh (no pressure ofc <3)

Ask and you shall receive my love! also i re-edited part 1 so make to check it out if you'd like! sorry if this took a while

♡S.I.M.P!I want you to worship me♡

Chifuyu x Reader part 2!

part 1 here

Note: can be read as a stan alone fic!

highschool au, cursing, sub!chifuyu, smut, 3rd person pov to 1st person pov

The library was Y/n's only safe space, She would always go there to finally breathe, she didn't have to keep up the performance. She could just bury herself in her silly little mangas and escape reality. But one time she stumbled upon the nsfw mangas in the bookshelf, she questioned it at first. She was the student council member she should bring attention to the fact that there's nsfw books in the library right??. Then Y/n realized that the anime club she belonged too probably snuck them in along with the regular ones and the librarian probably doesn't give enough fucks to actually check them which is why it's here. As she mentally fought with herself her eyes caught a glance at a hentai manga she's read before, one of her favorites at that. It was about a shy nerdy boy and a popular girl who bullied him...

Then there was one day she accidentally reached for the same manga as chifuyu, the pretty delinquent boyof the school. (Thankfully it wasn't hentai) Y/n was startled as a hand touched hers, she quickly turned to her side and her eyes widened in surprise. It was chifuyu, had she ever noticed him in the library before?..As he raised his head and looked to the side, he froze for a second. Emeral green eyes widening in panic as he stared at her. Y/n noticed his surprised expression, she would never have expected to see an expression like that on a boy like him...he looked almost fearful, like deer caught in headlights. Y/n studied his face, His fluffy blonde hair fell perfectly with his bangs covering parts of his forhead, She was almost compelled to reach out and touch it. His green eyes were wide open and and a soft pink blush dusted over his cheeks, his lips pressed together awkwardly in athin line. Like this he looked adorable, not at all like the rude delinquent all the other students were afraid to talk to. He quickly pulled his hand back and brought it up to the back of his neck with a sheepish smile on his face "Oh im sorry!" His voiced was rushed and panicked "Uhm, you can have it i dont mind" His words were rushed and flustered. It was surprising to see but honestly she couldn't help but it cute. Truth be told Y/n never really paid much attention to the blonde boy, sure she thought about how cool it was that he defied the teachers but that was in jealousy, wishing she could do the same. Other than that she never really paid him any real attention, until this very moment where she can't help but find him attractive..His soft jawline and smooth cheeks dusted in pink..his soft baby pink lips and his big green eyes still full of anxiety... Chifuyu swiftly spun on his heel and turned around to hurry away from Y/n but as he tried to leave her voice called out, "Chifuyu?" much more soft than when she usually talks to her classmates. His heart beat immediately sped up, his throat ran dry and he gulped but willed himself to turn around nonetheless. She saw his questioning look and responded before he could speak "uhm, well it's just.. if we're both interested in it, maybe we can just look at it together"

About A week passed since Chifuyu started talking to his crush. Everytime she saw him in the library she would come sit by him and strike up a conversation about whatever manga they were both into at the moment. Like right now. She's sitting so close to him he can barely process what she's saying. He tries so hard to will his brain to listen but all he could focus on was Y/n's skirt riding up her plush thighs the more she leans into his personal space. Her pretty face leaning closer to his, soft lips, shiny with her peach chapstick moving as she talked and her pretty e/c eyes staring into his, batting her eyelashes at him. Fuck he swears she's doing this on purpose to make him nervous and it was working and Judging from the feeling of his pants tightening it was working a little too good. His body was getting hotter and hotter, the soft pink that dusted over his flushed skin at his crushe's close proximity was getting harder to hide. Suddenly he was broken from his chain of thoughts when he heard her call his name "chifyuy? did you hear me?" His startled eyes were brought up to look into her concerned ones. "I asked if you were feeling okay, you look bothered" Before the boy could muster up a reply she stretched her hand out, shifting it under his bangs to against his forhead to check his temperature. Her face only inches away from his. "Oh my god chifuyu, you're burning-" Before Y/n could finish he cut her off "im okay! im just really warm- will you excuse me for a second!" Chifuyu quickly excused himself and scurried off towards to toilets. Oh fuck. He looked down at his pants and noticeable enough there was a buldge. He looked up questioning his life. Why was god doing this to him? Then he made accidental eye contact with his own pitiful reflection in the mirror, leading him to question his life even more. Without much options at his disposal he locked himself inside one of the stalls and made a quick mental note that after he rubbed out a quick one he'd go buy a gun to fucking shoot himself with.

You stood quietly outside his stall listening to his heavy panting before hearing him breathe a small "oh fuck" followed by a whisper of your name. Chifuyu stood inside the stall trying to be as quiet as possible as his hand wrapped around his aching cock. He swears he's never been this hard before, pumping gently a few times and then picking up the pace. You couldn't help but rub your thighs together under your skirt at his cute little whimpers and moans. God it was so hot, everytime he breathed out your name you felt your insides tighten and slick pooled inside your panties. That's it you couldn't control yourself anymore. You needed something inside you so badly. "Chifuyu?~" you called out, feigning a worried voice but the slutry undertone could still be heard and knocking on the door "you okay in here?". A smirk played on your glossed lips as you heard him panic "Wha- uh- uhm yea-YEAH! IM FINE!" An array of rushed incoherent stutters left him in response. "Y/n this is the boys washroom! you can't be in her-" Before he could finish his rushed and panicked sentence his door flew open. Chifuyu was stood frozen in horror, throbbing cock still in his grip as he was met face to face with the girl. You had kicked the door in! His mouth was agape but no words came out, he looked so scared and ashamed, Fuck it was so cute.

Chifuyu stood there frozen in place, his hand still around his cock. You carefully stepped inside the cramped stall, closing the door behind your back before pushing off it and stepping towards him. He can barely process what's happening right now before your hands are on him and your mouth crashes on his, nipping at his lips and sliding your tongue into his mouth. His eyes flutter shut as he kisses back, groaning into your mouth. His hard cock is pressed into your lower stomach, he can't help but grind it against your body chasing the much craved for friction. Your hands move from the sides of his face down towards his shirt. Fingers moving quickly to undo all of his buttons but your mouth is still pressed to his, tongue shoved down his throat. Moaning into him. He can barely register what the fuck is going on but he feels so good right now. When you finish unbutton his shirt you pull away from his mouth moving to leave a trail of kisses down his jaw to his neck. He whines when you do but it turns into a gasp as you stop to bite and suck at his sensitive skin, marking him as you please. He's such a sweet boy for you, whining and moans in your ear. "Y-y/n" he breathes your name out in a silent plea yet he doesn't even know what he's asking for. You press a few more kisses onto his chest and neck and one last kiss on the corner of his mouth before wordlessly sliding to your knees. His leaking cock right at your eye level as you look up him through your eyelashes. Without saying anything you take his cock in your soft hands.You could feel it pulsating, see the pretty veins throbbing on the underside of it. so much pre-cum was already leaking out of his thick baby pink mushroom tip and down his slender shaft, he was about 7 inches thick, 3 inches wide and holy fuck was it so pretty, just like him, matching his sweet little flushed face. God he looked so hot like this, Zipper undone, His shirt left open, showing of his lean torso and soft stomach. His pretty face flushed pink twisted in pleasure in such a lewd way, eyebrows furrowed, with his cherry pink lips caught between his teeth so hard it was bruising, bleeding. His now dark green eyes droopy, clouded with lust and his blonde hair now drenched and stuck flat to his forhead by beads of sweat. Fuck he was so cute like this. Chifuyu's eyes were clouded with lust, staring down at you in awe. Your pretty face only a few breaths away from his cock. He watched as you took him in your soft hands and opened your pretty mouth, breathing on it as your eyes looked up him, fluttering with that slutry look. He couldn't help but groan, head thrown back against the wall.You drag your tongue from the bottom of his shaft up to his tip before wrapping your lips around it. Immediately he let's out a porn worthy groan with his head thrown back against the wall. Both of your hands wrap around the base of his cock strocking him while your mouth suctioned around his sensitive tip, swirling your tongue around and running it across his slit. He hissed and bit the back of his hand to keep himself quiet, the other hand curled at his side in a fist, almost as if he was still scared to touch you.

[mariamlovesyou]

salam. i hope you are holding up ok w everything that is going on. i wanted to ask how you deal w being muslim and gay? i don't know anybody like me so it feels like i am a lonely unicorn. feel alienated by both my own community and the LGBT (i live in the west). i feel angry, lost etc. at both communities and i am often reluctant to practice my religion when i hear homophobic remarks etc. somehow i am too resigned to pray and then that feeling goes away and i go back to worshipping, esp when in crisis. i want to wear hijab as well but i realize that's only a response to my anger at westerners and one of the reasons i do not wear hijab is obv to avoid discrimination (i'm passing) in the professional field & also bc i think no gay woman will like me if i wear it. sorry if this question is too much, you don't have to answer, but if you have any experience or advice to share i would be grateful. thank you ❤️

hi angel .. im sorry for the late reply i had to run to an inspection when i got this i really hope u see it even though i dont know that i can offer much i just want to say im here for u.

i hope u are okay, the world is shaky and scary. im really happy u reached out to me and i think if u take anything from this it’s that reaching out is the first step. i wouldn’t say im at all entrenched in any community or fully at peace w who i am, that’s lifelong work, but it does get easier and sometimes u find little blessings in the people who show up. i feel the exact same way you do rn - alienated, angry, lost, at a crossroads. i often feel there’s no space for me anywhere and many lgbt muslims/religious gays in general feel the same especially when we’re young. i’ve also experienced periods where my faith slipped and i felt too defeated and betrayed to practice my religion fully or even in the smallest most private ways (until a few days ago i had not prayed for months since some very distressing things happened to me) but i always find myself coming back to it bc for me personally islam brings me immense comfort and grounds me, even or maybe especially after long periods of not being a “good muslim”. religion is a deeply personal thing no matter what everyone has told and will keep trying to tell u. the question is does it soothe you? does it bring you peace and comfort? away from everyone else’s eyes, do you feel connected to something higher when you take the time to do these designated rituals? i really think that’s the only thing that matters. and you might not have an answer for that rn or for a long time and that’s ok too, no one has everything figured out. stay away as much as you can from ppl u aren’t forced to be around who try to tell you how to be lgbt how to be muslim how you can’t be both etc. they’re just parroting what they think to be true and they don’t realise how draining it can be for others. protect yourself and listen to yourself. be careful what u share with whom. those r the biggest lessons i’ve learned and the only thing that’s helped make the burden feel lighter is finding other people like you and trust me when i tell u they exist!!! u just have to be a little braver and more intentional in seeking them out, if u can do so safely, bc like you they probably feel that they are alone and there’s no one else who will understand. (and when u find them, hear them out, share a little bit, but remember they are there for a sense of shared community, a delicate connection, not as a strict guide on how YOU need to be; only you decide that and that becomes easier w time)

now depending on where u are it may not be feasible to do so - i spent most of my life as an immigrant in qatar, a very small country w a death penalty or best case scenario deportation “solution” for people like us, where the idea of finding community was not only unthinkable but also seemed straight up ridiculous to me. i never tried looking, i wouldnt encourage doing so if ur in a western country that is similarly rigid unless u know what ur doing and have a support network. in this case all i can recommend is to reach out to organisations that sympathise if there are any, and hang on until ur in a safe space. BUT if there is no such threat to ur daily life, i really really urge u to seek out others like u.. and it’s likely you’ll have to look outside ur immediate circle. at first you won’t know where to look, i didn’t, i tried looking through uni, through apps, through meetups, groups specifically run by lgbt people of colour/marginalised lgbt ppl, and it will take time and a lot of trial and error and at times even ‘desperate’ or embarrassing attempts, at least it did for me. i got lucky by finding friends through friends and then friends of friends of friends etc who were like me and while i definitely wouldn’t say i connected w all of them or even liked all of them or that i have a stable network of other lgbt muslims (most of the ones i met live really far away and meetups are extremely rare but whenever i do talk to them it’s really healing) it really does help to know that somewhere not too far, u have someone who understands. so reach out. it’s hard and gruelling and isolating work but that’s the first and main thing to do to combat these unpleasant feelings of loneliness and anger. i wrestle w very complicated and conflicting things on a daily basis that most of my immediate circle couldn’t even begin to understand, so don’t do the mistake of sitting on it forever.

as for other people, gay women, muslims, whoever, i don’t have much experience here w the latter because im mostly focused on sorting myself out first before trying to fully integrate into like, being w other women in that capacity, and maybe im taking a little longer than i’d like but the good that comes out of this is im a lot less concerned about what other people have to say to me abt my identity. if gay women don’t like me bc of my hijab or my religion i really don’t gaf, they’re obviously not meant for me. don’t cater yourself to anyone but yourself, this goes for both sides. u don’t need to appease the gays by shutting down your religion and u don’t need to appease the muslims by believing u are wrong and an abomination. u were created this way, gay and it seems like u have a sort of tether to ur religion, how is that ur fault or something for u to adjust? the right people will come and the wrong ones will make it obvious (inshallah very quickly). and sometimes in our situation we find ourselves loving and deeply caring for people who just really don’t get it. that’s not ur fault either or something to resent! im starting to enjoy thinking of it as a variety. just do ur best to make sure these ppl are looking out for u and genuinely care for ur well-being even if they don’t really “get” you. and if u have no choice in the matter, hold on to the hope that people who DO get you are coming. islam is the connection between you and allah - that’s it. drown out everything else and don’t let noises distract you from that. i personally wear a hijab because it’s a part of who i am and makes me feel more protected (in a spiritual sense, i am of course very aware now that i live in australia that on a social level it can make me more of a target but i have not been threatened yet to the point of where im forced to remove it. u are not a bad muslim for choosing not to wear it, whatever ur reasoning is).

god gave us a tricky life, one can only theorise why, but what i do know is there are very few people on this earth who will understand u completely, even other lgbt muslims, and even fewer who will have ur best interest at heart. inshallah u find those few sooner rather than later, and remember the point is to let others lighten the load because this is a heavy thing to carry all by yourself. even online ppl in the same position will help. u have me 🧡 i am not experienced or developed enough to offer much more beyond this but i hope you can find some clarity and peace and i hope this helps in even a tiny way. i feel for you

[maskyartist]

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for bringing system! Augustus into my life. That is SO real to me now I will never be the same again /pos - a fellow system <3

THERES THE REASSURANCE I NEED TO BUILD ON THIS THANK U FELLOW SYSTEM HOLDER!! :D or user idk all the terms >3> i just got bitches livin here rent free ANYWAYS

for funsies imma use ur ask to talk about the roles the different parts of Augustus's system play n sorta when they showed up :D

His system isnt TOO big. Augustus's mind sorta segmented things in a way he could understand. small numbers mean easier solutions, so his issues were cut into four equal slices essentially. Someone to handle each of the parts he couldnt deal with himself

They also dont have real names. Just titles. It keeps things tidy in Augustus's brain so he doesn't really "humanize" them as human as they are. hell he doesnt even think about em as other personalities, he just thinks people have other people in their mental worlds who take over the body when ur too out of it to do so urself

as for the system members!

The Princess: Definitely first to show up. Similar to Raz, Augustus needed a friend when he was a kid. he also needed a person who could take on his "girliness" for him so he could be a boy. This brings in our Princess, who houses all that sweet sweet childhood trauma! along with happy childhood memories :D she's got mood swings, going from merciful princess to "I will stab you with my tiara", she's a kid she's got a lot of emotions!

The Acrobat: For handling all those weird feelings in ur teen years. They're about 14, struggling with gender identity, and is Augustus's "voice" while they do side shows for money. they're around for most of the Starlight Circus, so they're in for the long haul. They hold a lot of Augustus's more emotional trauma, and is a bit of a wimp. got that awkward growth spurt hunch and tends to trail off when they speak

The Ringmaster: Augustus just got his scars and he cant handle that kind of pain and having to relearn how to see. Introducing our Ringmaster! A strong willed grown man who knows exactly how to execute a routine and expects perfection >:( A big frowner for sure, very protective of Augustus. he's his backbone basically, able to finally give Augustus ground to stand on so he can stand up for himself. he's also a fast learner, helping Augustus get used to having only one seeing eye :D

and finally we have Maligula, who handles all of Augustus's water and psychic based issues and joys. unlike Lucrecia's Maligula which is more a coping mechanism she made to defend herself, Augustus's is a fully realized...creature. not a person, but a creature who lives deep within the waters of the flooded circus and takes on all that heavy trauma of the Grulovia Dam Flooding, his failures, his biggest problems...he's sorta Augustus's main protector essentially, blocking him from doing much outside of his usual routines that ARE deemed as "safe". its why starting him on Psychic training is a bit difficult when you have a literal monster holding you back out of fear of you or your loved ones getting hurt

again this is all mostly based on my experiences and also how i internalize my own system stuff, so take all this with a grain of salt, im not an expert, yadayadayada, but i just think it's kinda neat!

plus theres no way in hell Augustus knows he has DID he thinks this is just How The Brain Works and theres like a whole team of highly trained psychologists like "No bestie this is somethin WAY different"

[the-lancasters]

Queen Mothers Apartment, Goldsborough Palace, Windenburg

Previous| Beginning  | Next

Transcript under the cut

To my darling granddaughter - I am staying in town for a further week and invite you to visit for tea on Thursday at 3pm. Love, Grandmama

--

Margaret - Hello Grandmama

Charlotte - Darling, so good to see you away from the crowds

Margaret - I didn’t expect you to stay in Windenburg after the Christening

Charlotte - It was not part of my original plan but I have been feeling tired and not up to the long trip just yet. And something has come up to prolong my stay

Margaret - Oh really? What?

Charlotte- You. And your relationship with Major Hamilton

Margaret - Wha- I - dont know what you are talking about - there's no rela-

Charlotte - Please don’t insult my intelligence. When you have been around as long as I have, you can recognise young love from a mile away. And you two were not particularly subtle at the christening

Now don’t worry, I was the only one who noticed, everyone else was all wrapped up in Edward to be aware of much else.

Margaret - Have you summoned me here to yell at me? Tell me how stupid I am for ever getting involved with someone who works for my father?

Charlotte - Not today. But I did call you here to ask what you intend to do about it

Margaret - Do about it?

Charlotte - Yes. Is this a youthful fling? Do you intend to be serious with this young man? Marry him and give up your titles, your family and the comfort that brings for the rest of your life?

Margaret - Im only 21 Grandmama, it's far too early to be talking marriage let alone the rest of my life

Charlotte - It is never too early in our family, the future relies on it too much. I was not much older than you when I married your Grandpapa

Margaret - He just - he makes me feel less lonely. He pays attention to me when I speak, and values my opinions! At first I think I just wanted to take control of my life and do something for myself. Not my father, not the Crown - just for me.

Charlotte - We are rarely given the luxury to do things purely because we want to. That is trade off we make for our position and privilege

Margaret - So I thought - why couldn’t we just keep it to ourselves - no one needs to know my personal business. Maybe I am as naive as Steve accused me of being. I didn’t think that I would fall in love with him like this

Charlotte - So you are in love then?

Margaret - Yes

Charlotte - And him?

Margaret - I believe he feels the same as me

Charlotte - If you are going to go up against your father you are going to need more than just love. Love does not make a life. Hard work does. And if you choose this path then your life will become full of hard decisions. The support that has surrounded you from birth will disappear. Those who love you will be forced to turn their backs on you.

Margaret - What? You really think that father would really make me choose between Steve and family? We live in a whole new century

Charlotte - Yes, I know my son. He won’t stand for you defying convention like this

Margaret - But he doesn't know does he? I could keep things under wraps for awhile longer. Until I've figured out what to do?

Charlotte - Dear, your secret is safe with me. But the thing about secrets, particularly around here, is that they are never secrets for as long as you want them to be.

[algolstare]

i apologize if this is a bit too personal but i just want to say ive been following you for a while and as an abuse survivor myself it brings me so much joy seeing you find a way out of your abusive home finally youve given me a lot of hope ... i hope that the move goes smoothly and that you have as safe and pleasant and peaceful of a life as possible going forward, you deserve to💛💛💛💛💛💛💛best of luck !!!!

it isn't too personal, im glad that this can give hope to you as well!! i hope that you will also be able to find a way out, i hope that hope continues for you & pushes you forwards - that an opportunity will come to you also!!!

i know i post my every mental breakdown on here so the realtime thought processes of all this is probably already on here like 10 times over, but i am trying to figure out a way to convey it:

the pathways to safety are strange for me to talk about because all at once there's so much possibility in the world, & the choices we have are so incredibly limited, & all the more when you are stuck in an abusive environment w/ people dead-set on keeping you there..

i had idealized in my mind the imagined path to getting out - where i did it all myself, or, where i followed along the 'expected' path directly into renting, because otherwise is too terrifying, too uncertain

but for part of me, with all of this, it wasn't so much about believing those paths were the only ones possible, but that those paths were the ones in which i could feel id earned my life & space in the world, paths where nobody could say "you dont deserve to be here, your place IS in that suffering" somehow..

it's terrifying to leave & terrifying to contend w/ all the feelings & ideas surrounding leaving, everything very materially real (the threat of homelessness & whatifitsevenworseohgod!!) & everything that's "just" in the heart/mind (do i deserve to live free of this? i have to figure that out repeatedly before i act, it feels like. am i even capable of this? i dont *feel* capable. if nobody has offered me an out thus far is it a sign i dont deserve it? if somebody offers one now is it a sign ive only fooled them into thinking i am a human equal to them? all of it going in circles, never reaching a conclusion)

i know you already know this but people give so much judgement to victims&survivors about that all, about like, not just leaving anyhow. like "if you wanted to be free of that, you'd be willing to risk your material safety even more, your housing & access to running water." all kinds of expectations they'd never place upon themselves... when i talk of the fear & pushing past it, i dont mean it's as simple as just choosing incredibly risky uncertain things.

i hope that my leaving & how tangled & terrifying it is & how uncertain it all is materially can give to you not the kind of feeling of feeding into that judgement, but give you a stick to beat that back with :'D all at once it isn't so simple (how i WISH it were!!) & there is so much possibility that, when it comes to the door, can be so. you deserve safety & happiness & peace too & i am holding that in my heart, i hope for you as strongly as for myself. 💟🧸

[etinceelle]

I dont think that they will wait that long to bring penny back im pretty sure that she will come back the next volume (etheir in the first or last episode)

I already made a post about how it possible that penny end up in ruby head giving ruby heard her voice in the begining

Prehaps bevacause of her deprassion (which was very simular to penny btw) she wasnt ablr to hear her but now that ruby is herself she might actually start hearing her again and find out she is alive!

I could see it happened when ruby is in a fight and she look like she about to loose and then she heared penny tells her to allow her to handhale the fight and we see her closing her eyes and when they open again their are green

Also pretty sure that the biggest reason for penny to die was so the maiden power would transfer to someone else without putting somthing out of nowhere, giving that the maiden power only make penny life worse it means that for her character arc to be complete she need to get rid of it as it would took away her freedom no matter what happened with her

I don't think they would bring her back the first ep of the next volume, this would be very disrespectful to her second death tbh x) Bringing her back like that like it wasn't such a big deal feels really bad to me. If they want to keep the impact and give such importance to her death, then I'd rather wait for them to build it once again rather than have them rush it and just bring her back again at the first step of next volume. It made sense in Volume 7 because it was a long time after the fall of Beacon, everyone just arrived in Atlas and met Pietro, it was fitting. But here, even if Pietro's in Vacuo it feels really rushed to me. We got a whole volume about reincarnation but also about Ruby mourning Penny (or trying at least, because she barely had time or space to do so...). I would rather to see the process detailed this time, hear characters talk about Penny for real, see Pietro grieving and trying his best to bring her back, Winter thinking about her too, anyway.

I also saw the theory about Penny being in Ruby's head, I definitely think the scene when we hear Penny calling for Ruby in V9 is weird and interesting. I don't think Penny's "in Ruby's head", but rather that maybe she's somewhere in another realm, trying to reach out to her. It could be the realm of the Blacksmith in the tree, or something else... Or something odd definitely happened if Penny thought of Winter and Ruby before dying. Or (the sad choice lol), this is simply Ruby hallucinating because of the fall and hearing Penny. But tbh it still feels really weird that it Penny specifically. The first time we saw the snippet during the RTX in 2021, I really thought it was Yang calling for Ruby (and a lot of people too). Really didn't think this was Penny, but knowing that is very surprising, unless Ruby was really concerned about Penny being safe. But when I think about it I just think it's weird aha, + it's new recordings...

The hints in V9 really make me think Penny might not be dead, maybe not in Ruby's head but maybe somewhere else, no matter if she's "inside" Winter or somewhere else. :']

For the last part I agree, Penny never wanted the Maiden Powers, it was the only choice she had to face Cinder. It only put a target on her back and we saw it during the entiery of Volume 8 : wanted by Ironwood, the Ace-Ops and hacked by Watts, searched by Salem and the Hound, wanted by Cinder for the powers...she just NEVER had peace and this is exactly what Yang said to Raven at the end of Volume 5 : Salem came with all she had for not just the Relic, but also the powers. And not just Salem, literally everyone-

We could have easily expected all of that after she became the Winter Maiden, she never had one single moment omg. And after all of that, ending her arc just like that, by sacrifice, feels like a stab in the heart (no pun intended-) because she truly deserves this moment of hope. But from what I understand, the fall of Atlas was also planned for a very long time, and for it to be impactful they probably chose to also end Penny's life with it ahaha-

BUT, after what we got from Volume 9, that doesn't mean they decided to leave it here at least for me. RWBY is a story about hope, even if it includes losing people and suffering. Like I said in other posts, Penny always kinda symbolized this hope and light for the world. Having her dying like that made sense for her arc AND the end of Atlas, but it could really be used later for the big bad fight or moment. Idk how because obviously I don't work on RWBY, but eh. xD

Just like Little's death kinda served to the climax in Chapter 8 of Volume 9, because Ruby was so shocked she could only drink the tea after that. Penny's death served to her character but could also serve again for the ultimate moment later, we'll see how if that happens-

[proofwhisky]

tw for alcoholism/addiction and abuse under the cut!

im fine im safe just venting and no you do not need to respond or like this post or anything at all, no expectations no pressure (i should just keep a journal instead) asdjfhjh

my mom's alcohol use is getting so bad she's starting to shake at work and is asking me to bring her a gatorade bottle half full of vodka to the restaurant she waits tables at. this morning she was swaying on her feet slurring her words asking me to please buy her more coke (she has me pick up for her because "it's dangerous") bc she cant survive a 12 hour shift.

for context, she stayed up all night doing 4.5 grams of cocaine and going through a hANDLE of tequila and 8 or 9 beers (maybe more, that's just the amount of empty bottles on the coffee table rn) and i resent it because she had me deep clean the entire house alone just so she could trash it with a superbowl party and get fucking blackout wasted and keep me and my partner up all night squawking about how much she hates her job with her coworker who is also an alcoholic addict.

im her indentured servant. i can only stay at her house if it "stays perfectly clean at all times" which i get and understand but now, looking back, it feels weird man. she and her fiance dont clean up after themselves so i spend hours a day cleaning up after fully grown adults instead of having time to do my own chores or personal upkeep and hobbies, or applying for work or making a resume. dont get me wrong i find time, i made a resume im applying for jobs now i try to practice guitar when i can, but i almost never have time to be here or on discord anymore because of it.

dont get me wrong, im an absolute shithead, im rude as fuck to her, we argue all the time, i make her life much harder. i don't pay rent. i don't buy groceries. i also use drugs and drink. im not an innocent victim in this situation but im still angry and scared for her, and i just wish my family was healthier so i could be close to them, but it will never happen and that makes me sad.

tl;dr my mother's chronic alcohol use is getting so bad that it is beginning to affect her work life and i am feeling used and would like to leave please