#vent /

[moomiii]

as someone with an anxiety disorder, yea, it sucks.

The fact that extreme anxiety or GAD isn’t classified as a mental illness in some provinces in my country is frustrating, that shit can be debilitating, just because you can’t outright see it doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting us.

anxiety is so insane bc ppl will treat it like it’s no big deal, like it’s “one of the “easy” mental illnesses” or something, and then you have it and it’s insanely debilitating and you lose most of your life and your time and energy to it. yesterday i spent 2 hours sitting in my bed trying to convince myself to go to a water fountain to get some water. one time i got so scared to take a bus i passed out. like sure it’s a spectrum and i’m definitely at the more severe end of it but the fact that milder cases exist doesn’t mean it’s not still a problem? and it doesn’t mean that those people aren’t struggling too

[foldingfittedsheets]

My transphobic sister’s abusive husband made her delete all her social media a long time ago.

Since then she’ll occasionally make an account on Facebook under some pseudonym or other. Just got a new friend request from her latest attempt.

I want to be like, “Hey it sucks your abusive husband has radicalized you but until you apologize for saying trans people don’t deserve rights we have nothing to talk about.”

But I won’t. Just gonna ignore it and hope someday she relearns compassion because god knows I do not have the spoons for her at the moment.

[barladera]

will it end?

[clarityvisions]

I'm so envious not even gonna lie. When will this happen for me? I can't put up with another 3-4 years of this bullshit. I'm going to kill myself before I turn thirty. Fuck someone care about me. Fuck someone love me. Make me feel special. Make me feel wanted. Make me feel like I belong.

Being like. Post-suicidal is so strange. Like hiiiii everybody im new I spent a good chunk of my life languishing and have like 3 or 4 lived experiences. But now I'm ready to fuck and party or whatever. Can we be friends. Im so happy to be here. Can we be friends

[1h4vetobesk1nny]

My ultimate goal is to be used as th1nsp0 one day.

[alejandra1992]

[mjrtaurus]

It ends with the facist putting a bullet in his own head while his kingdom falls down around his own ears.

It ends with the facist’s loyal dogs scattering like cockroaches the second they don’t have their beloved shield.

It ends with the facist’s statues and laws being torn down and grave paved over to make a parking lot.

It ends with anybody who signals their allegiance to the facist in the public space being put in prison.

[emerald-jade-tears]

in another universe i didn’t make this blog because i wasn’t fucking traumatized by my ex who pretended to want to date me

In another universe I was happy

[wanderingmind867]

Well, today's my birthday. I'm trying not to make a big deal of it, but just...I turn 20. It's my last year of high school. Going to college in the fall terrifies me. I'm constantly stressing out about the passage of time. In a few years, i might be able to look forward to my birthday. But this year, i certainly feel nothing but dread and stress on my birthday. I feel nervous to tag sll of my mutuals to this post, but I feel like I kind of have to. It's sort of the type of post where i feel indebted to, for whatever reason. So i'll just copy and paste this from one of my tag lists.

@ihauntmyhouse @thewordsmith3 @yourfriendlyneighbourhoodaries @v4guelyv4mpiric @marvel-and-moor @c00c00pig @kryptonbabe @moss-the-irishman @0asta0 @munchkinmarauder @billybatsonmylove @supersonicdp @ltwharfy @southernfreakinggothic @snapcandle @beauty-queen-official @istilldontlikemyusername @dougielombax

@demigod-jack-hearth @berf-a-smurf @loganjptaylor @one-of-batmans-orphans @spiritbox713 @molovesbooks @ness-marsh @ace-looking-4-parkingspace

Edit: It's kind of awkward getting so many well wishes. It's flattering, but I wasn't actually prepared for it all. I had to confess that, because i need people to understand why I might not respond to all the well wishes.

And, well...all my life, my only friends have pretty much just been my family. The only people in real life who wished me happy birthday were my dad, my aunt, and my maternal grandfather. Also, one of my teachers via email. But that's it. Four or Five people, max. This post already has like eight or nine responses. So i'm a little in over my head. But thank you. Everyone who replied, thank you. I'm too shocked and... it's hard to explain, but you know what I mean. I can't offer an adequate response, but i'm thankful nonetheless.

[the-catboy-minyan]

looked at my notes and some ass called me a racist for using the word goy and claimed it was a slur, and ofc I wrote a long-ass reply to that and it got deleted because they blocked me, so i gotta vent.

if youre not jewish, and dont speak hebrew, don't fucking tell me how I should use my native language. goy is not a slur, it's a word in hebrew. gentile was historically used to prejudice against jews, I will never use it to describe a non-jew. I will keep using the word in my language to describe someone who is not jewish in discussions that require this distinction, the same way i will use the word cis to describe a non-trans person in discussions that require that distinction.

[nofuckingideawho]

i was too much. I stopped feeling. I became too little

[fawnsky]

she feels every emotion so deeply the simplest things bring her to tears

her heart is too big for her body

her soul, too gentle for this world

[ibikus]

one thing that really bothers me is how social media platforms have basically forced us to be one-dimensional in how we present. like, if you want people to see your posts you have to stay mono-thematic or the algorithm punishes you, you can’t do gaming and fashion and books and whatever else you’re into. you can’t even be into multiple different styles, games, genres at this point, you’re supposed to fill a niche, not allowed to change. and then people will believe others really are so one-dimensional and judge them for it, like omg these girls only care about makeup, this guy only cares about the gym, this person only reads smut books.

people are so used to only seeing the specific thing they want to see that they have unlearned scrolling past other things or learning about things they didn’t know about, or even viewing the people they follow as more than what they post. you have to make sideblogs or have multiple different accounts for every interest now because i didn’t follow you for xyz. we treat humans like flat pieces of paper or we don’t treat the people we follow as humans at all, just some type of content machine. then we’re surprised it’s so easy for people to dehumanize others.

[oshidorifuufu]

i want people to make analyses on me like im a fictional character

[spikeplushiehaj]

that makes me feel… hard… my parents may not be homophobic, but I feel scared to come out. I hate some people and this reminds me about my “friends” saying shit about trans people while my friends who know I’m trans have to sit and say nothing but be disappointed. Life is so hard in or out of the closet. They know I’m lgbtq and still fucking say it.

This isn’t really meant to be a comic trashing my dad.

I do truly appreciate his commitment to education.  I do truly have a soft spot for his style of humor, which certainly influenced the development of my own.  I appreciate how he had this VHS-C camera that he was always bringing out and would let me use, sparking my love for movies and starting me on a path that led to me going to film school.

All those good things about him were real.

But so was the colossal amount of damage he caused.

If you happen to be a parent and are reading this right now, I���m going to ask that you consider this suggestion from a childless thirty-six year old:

You need to consider how you communicate with your child, and how communication doesn’t just mean the words that you use.

You’re telling your kids something with the foods you eat, the activities you engage in, etc…

…you communicate to your children with the media you consume.

The rhetoric against the trans community wasn’t as much in the spotlight when I was growing up, but every time my dad turned on the radio, he’d have my sister and I listen to the likes of Rush Limbaugh, or Sean Hannity, Mark Levin, etc…  One of the topics that’d come up frequently was queer people. 

Issues about Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, gay marriage, gay boy scouts…

The “gays” were an issue.  More than an issue really, they were a problem.  If someone was queer, these radio hosts were quick to villainize; “this teacher is going to turn their students gay,” “this troop leader is going to abuse his scouts,” you don’t want your kid to end up like that, do you?”

My dad would listen to these folks non-stop and nod along in agreement, all the while his extremely queer and aware of it child was sitting right behind him, listening to how she was some kind of monster.

So I hid. 

There could be no sharing about aspects of myself.  My parents would be listening to 770am or Fox News all the time.  If I share that I was queer, I’d be finished.  How couldn’t that be the case?  Every day they chose to listen to people that hate me, so they hate people like me. 

So I can’t let them know me.  I won’t let them know me.

Even though they never said that they hated queer people with their own words, they told me that they hated queer people every day with the media they chose, and in turn forced me to consume.

So again, if there are any parents reading this right now, consider my words.  Hate is a choice you make, and hate can be communicated with more than just words.

If for no other reason, you never know if that kid in the back seat is listening, listening to how you hate them.