#Anyways good morning and since im talking about college everyone keep paying attention to and supporting palestine protests on campuses
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surpriserose · 7 months ago
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God i hate the american education system
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elysianslove · 4 years ago
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hi! how have you been since the hell that ensued after halloween is?
also could you do a batboys college au? like their major and how the reader would meet them and all that jazz? 👉👈
-🐥
hi anon!! i’m not sure what ur talking about @ the halloween stuff hvsdhjs but! here are the batboys hc’s! i’m not very familiar with duke thomas’s character enough to write about him tbh, so he’s not included here :( but if you want me to add him let me know!! i hope you enjoy!!
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dick grayson
out of all the batboys i really didn’t know how to choose a major for him
but
i think he’d do law tbh, specifically criminal law 
his main motivation to become a police officer in bludhaven had been to be able to help people in any way he can 
i forgot if it’s canon or not but he does realize how corrupt it is and he quits but that’s another thing we won’t get into that lmao 
anyways yes let’s just stick with law 
meeting you ! 
he shares one or two courses with you
one that’s really early in the morning 
and one that’s later on in the afternoon 
dick is like a magnetic okay
anywhere he goes people are just attracted to him
like literally he will breathe 
but someone call the ambulance there’s a person that’s passed out bc of how beautiful he is
but this is an 8 am class 😃
so there’s no way ur awake enough to notice him
coincidentally he sits next to you one time
and this is the one time
you decide
yeah lemme just fkn sleep is uni even worth it 
dick definitely notices right away but he doesn’t say anything 
he thinks you look so cute passed out on your desk like this 🥺
when the professor signals the end of the class, he watches as people file out and then he just leans over and nudges you slightly 
you nearly punch him bc he scared you ❤️
he just laughs and goes “class is over” 
you just sigh like the guilt starts to hit you and your heart begins to sink
and he sees your disappointed face and just goes 
“i took a lot notes. i can share them w you?”
lifesaver in every single way dick grayson 😻😻😻
you had another class that you had to run to and you were rushing
he was like “dw i’ll just give them to you whenever i see you next” 
and you 🏃🏻‍♀️ outta there
imagine ur surprise when u enter class at 12 pm and he’s there in all his glory 
after the lecture is over, he walks up to you as you’re packing and asks if you want to go to the coffee shop nearby 
to take his notes of course
and you finally register just how handsome he is 
so obviously you say yes wtf
and the rest is history 😼
he asks you out, properly, pretty early on tbh 
so unfazed lmfao 
now you take naps on his shoulder instead of the desk 💞💞💞
soooo into pda 
kisses u when he first sees you
when you’re parting ways
when he feels like it
straight up cuddles w during lectures i’m not even joking 
it’s disgusting how cute you two are 
gets you coffee for all those 8 am classes u have w him hehe
study dates always turn into karaoke sessions somehow don’t even ask lmao
jason todd
english literature 
this is a collective agreement right? 
right
definitely english literature 
i dont even think he wants to go to uni but he’s going to waste time plus this is bruce’s money 😏🤑
your major doesn’t necessarily have to be english literature as well
but you share one class
and my god 
you two disagree on everything
like every little thing
at this point if he says something and you slightly agree internally you’ll still say some opposing shit 
that’s kinda what draws you to him 
at first you genuinely had nothing against him
but then this kind of rivalry developed for no specific reason 
but it was fun
and he was hot
so seeing him get flustered or angry made him even hotter somehow 
but then
but t h e n
you’re not sure if your professor like ships you or something
so you’re assigned a debate topic on one of the books you’d discussed in class/one of the books you’ve read outside, and within each group are the two sides for and against 
not only were you in the same team as jason, but you were on the same side as him
so you had to work with him
the audacity of the professor omg 
but jason needs this course 
and 
well you don’t but it’s too late to back out now 
you two meet in the campus library after deciding on a book with the other two of your team
and 
honestly??? 
you two work so well together 
like insanely well
during the debate you destroyed the other team 
spoiler alert 
doing so well with jason kinda made you like hot and bothered 
seeing him in his zone
sexy <3 
what i mean to say is
you both end up making out in some storage room lmfao 
or hate sex 😏
professor has a phd in matchmaking 🤔😻
i think you two don’t admit you like each other
bc you’re both stubborn as fuck
but eventually you’re literally on his lap on his couch and it just hits you
and you lean back and go
“wanna go out w me” 
and he just shrugs and goes “sure” and pulls you in for more kissing hehe
he’s not v good at the boyfriend thing tbh
you have to chase him around and be like “sir!!! did u forget about me huh!!!”
he doesn’t mean to i promise
he gets all blushy and flustered once he realizes 
only ever into pda if he’s insanely jealous 
will straight up make out w u regardless of where u are or who ur with lmfao 
he’s still getting used to the little intimacies and all 
debates in class are so much more fun now cause he finds it so hot when u get all riled up hehe
that eng lit professor is so happy for you two omg
tim drake
okay i also couldn’t really decide for him
but maybe he’d study something like physics (or maybe computer engineering/computer science) 
idk u have to have a death wish to wanna major in physics so tim’s major it is
i’m not sure how it works for every other uni but my uni requires 6 credits of sciences to graduate 
so let’s say for the sake of this hc u take like just the first level of physics to get 3 credits 
and 
you’re struggling 😃👍🏼
so you like approach your professor with a few questions before the quiz 
but tim is also there
and he kinda makes small talk while you two wait outside the office
and he asks why you’re here
you show him
and he’s like “oh i took this course w the same professor as well, i could help?” 
it’s like an angel had descended from the heavens for you personally 
you take his number and decide to meet up with him after a few hours 
he’s of so much more help than your professor would’ve been, even if ur prof is a really nice and smart person 
and he’s super like
patient with you? 
also he pays for all the coffee and snacks you’re getting after you already get them 
ur like bruh i didnt 
dont pay pls
and he’s like no im loaded let me 😼
swooning <3 
and guess what!! 
you ace the quiz out of some miracle
first thing you do is text him and he congratulates you 
and then
bc ur not blind and tim is so fucking cute
you’re like “can i take u out to thank u” 
tim’s brain stops working but ! 
he does say yes eventually 
he becomes your designated physics tutor + your amazing boyfriend
being with tim is so like
chill
it’s a very relaxed time 
lots of study dates! and cafe dates! all hours of the day whether the sun is up or not 
into pda but to a certain degree 
like yes of course have a kiss pretty baby 
but also it will only be a small peck
any time anyone passes by like common rooms you two will be there snuggling on the couch, one or both of you completely passed out 
damian wayne
business major 100% 
or a bsba econ major, which is basically the business side of economics 
he has to take over his father’s company one day duh 
also i genuinely think damian would excel in this field 
he’s a very keeps to himself kinda guy in uni
like you only ever see him in your common classes and then he just
disappears 
anyways there was this party that everyone was going to, and damian wasn’t planning to
but dick accidentally read some groupchat’s messages and was like are u going
damian went 🏃🏻‍♀️
but dick was like go and try to make friends !!!! 
and dames cant say no to his big bro 🥺 so he goes
stays in a corner on the settings app the entire time
like half an hr in he just leaves and is walking home/back to his dorm when you come like rushing up to him 
you’re zooming 
and then you just latch onto his hand and lean up to press a kiss to his cheek, whispering in his ear “this person’s been following me for like 15 mins just please go along w this” 
he kinda stiffens but when he does notice that there’s a person eyeing you he slips his arm around your waist and just carries on walking
he walks you to your home/dorm and is like
so awkward 
but it’s okay ! ur a people’s person enough for the two of you 
you thank him so much over and over 
and then you’re like 
“can i take you out on a real date?” 
and then he becomes ur real boyfriend hehe
is still super stiff but it’s only bc he’s so hyper aware of how attractive you are
and i’m super positive he doesn’t have that much experience with dating so 
you hold the reigns 
but he’s a great boyfriend all in all tbh 
super attentive, super protective, and so loving 
isn’t into pda especially on college campus but he does like subtle pda
things like linking your pinkies or giving you his hoodie to just parade around campus hehe
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end note; i’m sorry if these feel rushed or anything like. i used to be an avid writer for the batboys, but i just haven’t been feeling it lately. i still love to write from them bc i know these boys so well eeeeppp. anyways feel free to request some more!!
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newtsies · 3 years ago
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When I Was Your Man || A Ralbert One Shot
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a/n - hello! so basically this one shot is a College Newsies AU where Racetrack and Albert broke up and Race started dating Spot :'). it's about ralbert though?? so it's like- okay its from alberts POV and it's based on When I Was Your Man so yeah :D (all lyrics from the song will be in bold and italicized),, i'll only be writing the chorus once <3
also i didnt edit this cuz its late and IM TIRED SO sorry if it sucks lol
tw('s) - cussing
same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Albert didn't sleep well at night, if he even slept at all. His bed was empty. The same bed that he had slept in since the beginning of college. But it wasn't his bed, it was their bed. At least, it used to be theirs. Now, it was just his, but he couldn't accept that it was only his.
But at one point, it was theirs. Him and Racetrack, it was once their bed. Even if it was only his, Albert could swear that Race's body was still outlined in the cushion of his bed.
The bed used to be so small, too small for the two of them. They cuddled together to keep each other from falling off. But now it was huge. He had no-one to roll over to in the morning, he was alone.
He couldn't even sleep on the right side of the bed. That was Race's side. Even if Race hadn't slept on the bed for a long time, even if he would never sleep on the bed again. That was his side, not Alberts.
And often times he would lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. He would reach over to the right for his boyfriends- ex-boyfriends hand. But it wasn't there. He reached over and was met with sheets and pillows.
So he didn't sleep, because he had no-one to sleep with and his bed was too big to sleep in. And he stayed awake until the next morning when he got into his car and drove from his apartment to the school.
Not even in his car did he get peace. It wasn't his car, it was Race's car. Race had picked it out, he liked the color. And it smelled like Race's cologne and it held memories of Race in each dent of the leather seats.
So he sold the car. He got a new car, his own car. But even with the smell of Race gone, with his memories in the seats gone. The radio in the new car betrayed Albert.
our song on the radio but it don't sound the same
The car radio had one station, and Albert could swear that the station only had one playlist they played each day. Because every day, and it never missed one day, it would play their song. The song they first danced to. So Albert turned off the radio, and he never turned it on. Even when friends begged him to play music, the radio staid off and he played music from his quiet phone.
Every day, Albert showed up to school exhausted. He nearly passed out in class. Lunch was the only time he ever slept. Everyone assumed he didn't get sleep due to his hard classes, which couldn't be farther from the truth. He didn't do his work. He couldn't pay attention in class, not with Race there.
when our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down
"You really lucked out being with him, Al," Jack said.
Romeo agreed and added onto the comment, "Kelly's right. He's gorgeous. And a genius too. Too smart for his own good."
Albert raised his head from his arms with a desperately sad look. He sighed and shook his head, "I told you guys. I know we broke up a while ago, but it still hurts, okay?" He rested his head back into his arms and closed his eyes tightly. His heart ached with every comment. He knew Race was gorgeous. He knew Race was a genius. He knew so much about him, yet he didn't know him enough to keep him happy.
"Sorry, man. Forgot," Jack mumbled. Romeo muttered something of an apology and scratched at his neck.
"I know you hate school activities," Romeo started, "But you should come to the party tonight. Dance a little, I think it'll cheer you up."
Albert sighed and tried not to think about why dancing would be hard for him. He looked up and pushed his hair out of his face, "I'll come."
'cause my heart breaks a little when i hear your name
"Race!" Spot called from the couch. The music boomed and Spots voice was quiet, but Albert heard the name anyways. He immediately turned to the boy.
Spot grinned as Race made his way over to him. Race plopped into his lap and smiled back as he hugged the boy. Alberts eyes widened and his chest ached.
Even just hearing Race's name hurt Albert, brought back a wave of memories. Each yell of Race's name when he did something dumb, each fond laugh of the name when he complimented him, each whine of Racetrack's name when he bugged Albert too much. He missed it all.
it all just sounds like ooh, ooh, hoo
Jack and Romeo were definitely talking to Albert, but he couldn't hear anything they were saying. The music sounded like gibberish and he couldn't think. All he could do was stare at the couple on the couch and ache at the sight.
mm, too young, too dumb to realize, that i should have bought you flowers
Albert watched as Race giggled at the flower Spot offered him. Spot smiled and put the small yellow flower behind Race's ear. The stem stuck between his ear and his head whilst the bud pointed outwards.
The years that they dated, Albert and Race were young and naive. He didn't know how to be romantic or how to make Race happy. No matter how hard he tried.
"I should've bought him flowers," He sighed. Jack and Romeo shared a knowing glance before pushing Albert to sit down on the couch.
and held your hand
"I mean," Albert continued, "I was too insecure to do anything with him." They didn't even hold hands in public, because Albert was scared. Scared of what society would think.
should have gave you all my hours, when i had the chance
Albert and Race had started dating their first year of college. Albert was constantly busy with classes. He was always doing work and stressing about class.
Anytime Race would make an attempt to spend time with him, he shut it down.
"I'm doing work," He would say, "You should be doing work, too."
He wanted to do well, get a good job, find a good home, start a family. But all of that was dumb. It was pointless. To hell with it all if we didn't get to come back from his job to see Race. Because Race was his home and he didn't want to start a family with anyone else.
take you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance
"Al!" Race would whine and grab at his arm, "Dance with me, please. Just for a little bit."
Albert never did dance with him. No matter how much he asked, he refused to do so. He couldn't, he needed to get good grades. He needed to provide.
"We can dance later," He would say.
The usual response he would get was, "Promise?" But one day, he received a different answer, "There isn't going to be a later. Not for us, Albert."
now my baby's dancing, but he's dancing with another man
Race pulled Spot up from the couch. They smiled as they moved together to the middle of the room. The music vibrated around them as the two danced.
Albert watched from the camp as he shook his leg. He took in a deep and quaking breath before stumbling out of the house. He threw his cup to the side and gulped in a large breath.
my pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways, caused a good strong man like you to walk out my life
"What do you mean their won't be a later for us, Racer?" Albert had asked, finally looking up from his studies.
Race had scoffed, "Oh, of course! That's what gets you to look me in the eye, huh?" He had rolled his eyes, "We're done, Al. I can't do this anymore, can't do us. Okay? You're so god damn selfish. You only do what's best for you. Ever think about what's best for us, huh? Do you ever even think about me?"
"Of course I think about you, Race. You're all I ever think about," Al had stuttered out.
"Sure," Race had laughed sourly, "I just wanted to fucking dance, Albert. You wouldn't even do that with me. I'm leaving." With that, Race had grabbed all of his stuff and walked out of the apartment.
now i never, never get to clean up the mess i made, oh. and that haunts me every time i close my eyes
Albert closed his eyes when he left the house. Their breakup flashed behind his eyelids and he choked out a sob. He fell to his knees on the grass.
"God damnit," He weakly hit the grass beneath him, "I could've fixed it. I could- Could've. But- Spot. I can't fix it anymore."
although it hurts, i'll be the first to say that i was wrong
He shook his head, "Race was right. I never thought about him." And his stomach twisted with that realization.
Albert has thought he was thinking about Race, about their future together. But it was never about Race, it was about him. He needed to good grades, Racer didn't. Everything that happened was his fault, and he knew that.
oh, i know i'm probably much too late, to try and apologize for my mistakes
He took a deep breath before falling back to sit down on the grass. The door opened and a boy with curly blonde hair sat down next to him.
Race gave Albert a sad smile.
"I'm not going to say sorry," Albert started, "Because that won't make up for anything. I was wrong, about everything." Race nodded.
"Al," Race said quietly.
Albert shook his head with a small grin, "Don't. Go get, Spot. Be happy. Go love the boy who you want to see when you get home from long work days, okay? Love him the way I love you." He paused, "Not the way I treated you, but the way I feel about you. I know it didn't seem like it. But I love you."
Race smiled and gave Albert a pat on the cheek, "I loved you too."
That was the sad tragedy of their relationship.
Albert was in love with Race. Race had been in love with Albert.
They loved each other at different times. But Albert could accept the pain of being in love with a boy would didn't love him back, because even though Race was in love with someone else, he was happy. And that's all Albert wanted, because Race deserved to be happy.
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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years ago
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Ok a more specific prompt, coffee shop au with Malec and claia 😌
this is nowhere near specific and you damn well know it, anon. i appreciate u trying to find an excuse to throw coffee shop aus everywhere, tho. keep doing the lord's work even if i will inevitably twist the prompt
Magnus works at a small, local coffee shop as a barista. It's not exactly his #1 job choice, but it pays better than big chain coffee shops and he needs that to pay rent now that he officially left his abusive father's home for good. Also, he is kind of a coffee enthusiast and the owner, Ragnor, lets him go wild with making up new drinks and ingredients, as long as he still does his job.
All in all it's a good job and he considers the old fart and the other barista, maia, to be like family. Ragnor frequently gives them coffee and Maia constantly teases him about being a "coffee scientist" whenever she catches him thoughtfully drinking from a cup and scribbling notes on his notepad, like some ancient being
His recipes are good, though, and he knows exactly where to get the best coffee beans for the best price. So their drinks are good, affordable, and can please everyone from the traditional "black coffee no sugar" exec to the teenager who wants more of a milkshake than actual coffee
As a result, the shop thrives, gets more popular, and gets more clients. So Ragnor decides to hire a new barista to help. Because he's secretly a sweetheart, he ends up hiring this broke college kid who just moved into town to get away from his kinda toxic family and has nowhere to go - and also doesnt have a single ounce of experience as a barista
It's not surprising; both Magnus and Maia share similar stories, with some abusive exes to spice up the mix, not to mention racism, biphobia, and, in Magnus case, male behavior standarts keeping most opportunities closed for them. So they're cool with that. Even if it means Magnus will have to be the one to teach him, because 1- Ragnor is a dick and assigned him to be Alec's special "tutor" as retribution for Magnus calling him "an old, heart of butter bastard"; 2- he's the one who's best qualified to teach him since he knows a lot about coffee and coffee making anyway; 3- Maia has no patience
Quick detour just to say that i love the maia/magnus brotp opportunities this gives. While Magnus is more of a coffee scientist as she puts it, Maia has an almost instictive understanding of drink making. Where Magnus is soft, she's fierce, and they make one hell of a team and are good at balancing one another. They bond over their experiences with abuse; while Magnus' has made him afraid to put his foot down and say what he wants and prioritize himself, Maia's has made her particularly wary of people and even less willing to take anyone's bullshit, and both of these coping mechanisms have their own effects on their psyche, and they're able to talk openly to each other about it. Maia is kind of protective of Magnus and vice-versa, though the way they protect each other is very different. They have an easy companionship and bantering dynamic that's easygoing and cute, theyre both passionate about their interests (Maia loves marine biology and even if Magnus doesnt know much about it he loves listening to her talk about it) and just generally have that kind of relationship where just smiling at each other makes a tough day seem lighter. Also Magnus loves making Maia laugh. Maia blatantly refuses to laugh at any of his self-deprecating jokes, tho, which has considerably diminished the amount of times he makes them
Anyway Alec comes in for his first day and Magnus is like [REDACTED] because shit this man is cute. Maia notices immediately and from then on the teasing doesn't stop
He's quick to recover, tho, and suddenly he's all smooth again (Maia says he's perfected his customer service persona to horror movie levels), quick to introduce himself and Maia to Alec and explain that he'll be training Alec for the next few weeks or so. He gives him a tour of the shop, explains the basics, and immediately launches into his slightly extra More Serious Than Strictly Necessary course on the makings and workings of coffee, from bean selection to ideal temperature and the chemistry behind the cooking.
This absolute dork even had a small table with some coffee made from different kinds of beans so Alec could taste them and learn the difference and Engage with the profession or some shit
Maia just rolls her eyes, thankful that she had prior experience before getting this job and didnt have to go through this
The first thing he learns about Alec: Alec doesn't like coffee. This is not a setback. Many people dont like coffee, but that's because they're used to regular powdered coffee instead of making it from the bean. Because the beans in powdered coffee arent previously selected, they are roasted harder than they should, so any beans that might have gone bad wont spoil the taste or make you sick. As a result, the coffee is way too bitter and doesn't have a discernible taste. He explains all of this enthusiastically to a slightly overwhelmed Alec, and gets on to making him try the samples so he can feel the difference.
Here's the second thing he learns about Alec: Alec doesn't feel the difference
Despair. Horror. Offense.
Alec even kind of chuckles and goes "sorry" at the face he makes, and a not-pouting Magnus goes on with the planned explanation on bean selection
Third thing he learns about Alec: he's a quick study. Everything he lacks in sensibility to the amazing world of bean juice, he makes up for in his careful attentiveness to the instructions. He is also a strict recipe-follower and makes sure he always uses the exact amounts required. He's an absolute perfectionist. He listens to Magnus' explanations on how to know if the taste is right, to look for color and texture of the mix. Magnus tries his simple coffees and only needs a few corrections to send him on the right path
The first time Alec makes him something more complicated to try (per his request) Magnus wants to die
It's so good
Scratch that, it's perfect
This soulless motherfucker doesn't even like coffee and this is the single best version of whatever crazy frapuccino shit they're making magnus has ever tried
He kind of bursts from the kitchen (?) all like MAIA YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS just in time to interrupt her chatting with this redhead new customer with shiny eyes. Maia is leaning all the way across the counter. What is this
Maia agrees that it's very good but again he's not as passionate about coffee and Magnus just interrupted what would have been a really smooth number-giving move so she's not feeling all that generous
Alec just laughs at that. His eyes are shining with amusement and he's very, very pleased that Magnus likes his stuff
It's not a big secret, really; mixing drinks is kind of like patisserie in the sense that the measures need to be exact to achieve the best taste and texture. He follows the recipe to a fault, it turns out good. That's why he's better at the more complicated, instagram-y drinks than the simple coffee types
Alec "graduates" his training pretty soon after that and Ragnor is very pleased
He gets along well with both Magnus and Maia, even if he's more quiet and sometimes catches himself just laughing at the two of them interact; their friendship is something else. But he also gets to hear a "shut up" from Maia after not saying absolutely anything when the redhead walks in again the very next day
The redhead always comes in a little late in the morning, so its always slow. As a result, they get to pretend to be minding their own business as they hear the two of them chat and oof is the romantic tension between them something. Maia glares at them once the girl - Clary - leaves every time, but it doesn't stop them
Soon Maia is calling them "no-good gossiping grandmas" because of the way Magnus and Alec will go to the back and pretend to be making something while they keep a whispered running commentary on what the girls are talking about. This quickly turns into some sort of race to see who can make the other break and laugh out loud. Neither of them ever do (they are trying to be discreet and Maia would kill them) but oftentimes they need to cover their mouths with their hands and playfully slap each other for the teasing
Clary doesn't even realize she's the reason; she kind of just thinks they are constantly flirting on the back and briefly wonders how they havent been fired when all they do is whisper and make eyes at each other
Not that she has any room to talk when she's late to work everyday because she keeps cracking jokes with the cute curly haired barista with the most beautiful lopsided smile who always makes her laugh and tells her about her day while she drinks her coffee. She's lucky her work starts at 10 so she can go in a little later and doesnt have to be there during rush hours, but still
She doesnt even like coffee, she walked in one day cuz she was really tired and then just kept coming in the hopes that the barista would make a move on her (shes not gonna do it herself, at least not in her workplace. She doesn't want to make her uncomfortable and it's still unclear whether the girl is flirting or if shes just really nice)
At some point she and Maia even start sharing knowing looks to Alec and Magnus and laughing at them. They don't even notice, because their designated Making Fun Of Maia time turned into just cracking jokes at each other way too quickly. They don't even remember there are other people there
Maia does finally ask clary out eventually. She wasn't exactly nervous about doing it, it's more that she enjoyed their little routine. But enough is enough, and when their routine starts involving Clary giving her a quick kiss before placing her order, well, it just makes it better
Magnus and Alec coo every time
Eventually Maia snaps all like "why are you guys the one poking fun at me when im the one who made a move instead of being a coward"
Magnus is all like "Whatever could she possibly mean??"
It dawns on him when hes closing up the next day and Alec has already left. He has a crush on Alec. Oh god. Oh fuck
Maia helpfully says "idiot" and leaves
Some Magnus being very nervous and overthinking his relationship with Alec who's all like ???????? about this
Alec goes to his sister about his new crush who suddenly started acting weird and izzy is all like "stop trying to guess what he's thinking because you're terrible at this. Just tell them how you feel" and Alec is like okay
He asks Magnus out
Everyone is happy and gay idk the end
✨ feel free to use this and any other one of my posts as a prompt ✨
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kweebtrash · 6 years ago
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Or Nah (M)
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Messy Ch. 2
Pairing(s): OC X Johnny (features other members)
Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU
Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.
Warnings: drugs, anxiety attacks, night terrors
Features: POV changes, bathroom/rough sex, fingering, blowjobs
Word Count: around 14k
A/N: ‘they’ and ‘she’ are used interchangeably on purpose.
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Lucas Pov
My phone was vibrating against the glass top of the coffee table ripping me out of sleep. The incessant buzzing was driving me crazy especially since my head was still fuzzy from last night. I barely remember getting home...well to Quinn and Eri's place anyway. I groaned and slammed my hand on the table feeling around until my phone was in hand. I squinted an eye open, peeking at the influx of messages that continued to scroll about my screen. I opened the messenger app and read through the dozens of texts. Johnny had added me to the group chat shortly after I met him and Jaehyun during ‘Welcome Weekend’. It was how i had found out about their party and now it was how I found out that Eri had hooked up with Johnny. He was supposedly the “king of of one night stands” and Eri was just another one to be added to his list. Or that was how it would all start out. Clearly, Ten and Yuta had met their match once they started playing with her. I wouldnt be surprised if Johnny started drooling over her too.
There was something about Eri. I still hadn’t quite figured it out myself. She was far from my type-which is why I first got with Quinn. Quinn was soft, small, pale blonde and a little ditzy- perfect. Eri on the other hand was raw, loud, obnoxious, and volatile. Dominant yet bratty, needing to be in control of everything and the first to protect if needed. She always ended up “momming” Quinn and I no matter what. She was also gorgeous in a way I didn't often see back home- tattoos everywhere, her hair a mish mash of colors, her skin deep, rich and intoxicatingly sweet. She had managed to seduce every last one of us. We were putty in her hands. Eri and I were only friends but i would be lying if I failed to admit that there were times where all i thought about was being between her legs for days on end.
I sighed and finally sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I tossed my two cents into the group conversation and yawned deeply. The smell of something cooking caught my attention and i realized I was fucking starving. I looked over at the small kitchen and saw Eri standing in front of the stove in nothing but her underwear and a little ass tank top, looking like i should eat her for breakfast instead. I adjusted myself on the couch and opened my camera, zooming in close to get the best view. I grabbed a pic and sent it to the chat. They would all be jealous of me getting to see this first thing in the morning-afternoon….whatever.. “Babeeeeessss, whatcha making me?”
“I had some pancake mix in the back of the fridge that was still good so there's that. There’s also some left over pizza. Breakfast of champions.”
“You look like a hot little wifey cooking for me. Just saying.”
“You know what you could say? Nothing.” She came towards me with the plate of food. “Here.”
My camera was still open so i faced it towards us under the guise of taking a selfie but i turned my head towards her, just as i hit the button, giving her a kiss. I posted it to the group chat too just to see if i could piss Johnny off. “How's your vag?” I asked Eri as i sent the picture.
“I survived I guess. My thighs still fucking hurt.” I moved my legs so she could sit on the couch beside me.
“Was he better than me?” I asked just out of curiosity.
“Lucas, you know I dont compare anyone. But he didn’t go down on me so he's already losing, just saying.”
I picked up one of the pancakes and shoved it in my mouth. “Fuckin’ pussy.”
“Dont talk with your mouth full. You're gonna choke.” She grabbed her PS4 controller and turned on the console as well as the tv. She flipped through the apps pulling up Netflix. “You wanna watch something? Quinn said they'd be coming home soon but i don't know how true that is.”
“Heard she was at T.Y.’s place.” I replied in between chewing and shoving another pancake in my mouth.
“Yep. Fucking him this time, i guess.”
I swallowed and shrugged. “I'll ask her to take a shower before we fuck.”
“How gentlemanly of you, Lucas.” She scoffed and started typing in the name of whatever show she wanted to watch. I noticed the hickies that were covering her dark skin, blending in with the tattoos on her back and shoulders.
“Damn, he did a number on you.” I said leaning in closer to her and running my fingers along the bruises. She winced a bit and tugged away from me.
“It's fine. I've had worse.”
“Yeah like when Ten accidentally cut you so deep you had to get stitches and Quinn wanted to deck him.”
She inhaled sharply. “Not one of our best moments. I squirmed by accident so I guess it was my fault.”
“Or he could’ve not hurt you.” I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand before kissing her shoulder.
“Eh. Whats the fun in that?”
I kissed up her neck, resisting the urge to bite her and make my marks better than Johnny's. “I make you cum just fine without hurting you.”
“Question.” She said, turning to me. “Do you like choking me?”
“What? Uh...i mean...it gets you off right?”
“Yeah, but do you like it?”
I scratched at the back of my neck. “I mean….”
She sighed. “Nevermind.”
“Aww, Eri, don't be mad. I dont mind doing it for you!”
“It's fine. Im not mad.” She curled up against my chest, wrapping her arm around my waist, and setting her legs on my lap.
I rubbed her thighs slowly, going up and down the length of them and paying extra attention to her hips. “Did you try and get him to do it?”
“Yeah, well sorta. I didnt say it outright but i kinda hinted at it. He pulled his hand away like he didnt want to touch me.”
“Not for nothing Eri but you’re like the only chick who's like ‘CHOKE ME’ during the first fuck. It can be kinda scary and not everyone's into that.”
“Fuckin’ wack is what that is.” She laughed.
“Maybe he'll do it next time.”
“Next time?” She scoffed. “I doubt there’s gonna be a next time.”
“You'd be surprised.” I kissed the top of her head and kept her close, kind of wondering if I should ask her if she wanted to fuck. It was too much work to do anal right now but maybe she'd at least want it slow. I could do that. I slipped my fingers underneath the strap of her tank top moving it down her shoulder.
“Lucas.”
I hated when she said my name like that. It was like i was in trouble with my mom. I kept rubbing small circles on her thigh, pretending like i wasn’t doing anything. “Hmm? What?”
“Cut it out.” She was always much stricter with how much we fucked, unlike Quinn. Eri was picky and everything had to be on her terms, which was why i always got reprimanded. I knew she still couldn’t resist me, especially when i gave her my puppy dog look.
“I swear i'm not doing anything!”
She rolled her eyes and pushed away from me. “Not right now.” She got up from the couch and headed back towards the kitchen. I stuffed the last pancake in my mouth and followed after her.
“Come on! I'll go slow! It wont even hurt. You know i take good care of you.” I chewed faster and swallowed hard before she yelled at me again.
“My thighs are killing me. I don’t even think i have the strength to open them for you to eat me out.”
“Well...you wanna at least suck me off?” She glared at me so hard that I stepped back in case her fist wanted to connect with my stomach. She was always an aggressive lover. “S-sorry…”
“You'd probably taste like pool water and sweat. No thanks.”
“Ok, you can pull one of my numbers and ask me to shower before hand. It's just...you know how i get in the morning, babes.” i pouted at her, starting my puppy dog stare.
“Don’t look at me like that. You know i hate that.”
“Pretty please? Pleaaassseeeeeee.”
She set her little hand on my face, smooshing me away. “I dont have time. I have band practice tonight and it starts soon.”
“Just a quick one i promise!! I'll be done fast!”
She groaned. “Lucas, seriously??” She rolled her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fine! FINE! I don’t know how you always convince me.”
“Because you can’t resist me, that's why.” I gave her a quick kiss before running towards the bathroom to shower. Honestly, i should probably bring my shower stuff to their house at some point so I could stop smelling like vanilla, and cookies, and marigolds or whatever they used. I chucked off my shorts, tossing them in the corner where Eri could get them and do the laundry for me later. I grabbed my toothbrush and slapped some toothpaste on it before getting in the shower. I turned it on full blast, preferring a cold shower than the usual depths of hell i had to suffer through when i showered with Eri or Quinn.
“Some random person added me on snapchat! Do you know a DJJ0209?!” i heard her yell at me. I almost choked on my toothbrush. I hoped the running water hid the sound of my laughter.
“Oh...no! I dont! Did you add them?!” i called back out to her before spitting toothpaste down the drain.
I could tell she was responding but i had no idea what it was. It was hard to hear her now with my head fully under the water. Hopefully it wasnt too important. I finished brushing my teeth and moved onto washing my hair, trying to get chlorine smell out of it.
“Did you hear me earlier?” her voice appeared from inside the bathroom.
“No, all i heard was someone random added you on snapchat. Who was it?”
“I have no clue. Probs some weirdo from online. I'm just gonna block it.”
“No,” i tried to keep a straight face even though she couldn’t see me behind the curtain. “Just accept it. I'm sure it's fine.”
“What the hell!? I got another one….wait this one has a little character thing. Kinda looks like Taeil…”
“Just accept them both. Who knows maybe you'll find the love of your life.” I snorted.
“Hmm yes how romantic. Mommy, daddy, How did you meet? Well son, your father sent me a dick pic on snapchat and I was so in love we instantly got married.”
“Aww, you're like a real life Cinderella.”
She hit the shower curtain, trying to get at me. “Shut up, dumbass. I have to leave here by 6, and it's a little after 4:30 now.”
“I'm coming! You wont be late.”
“Mhm.” I could hear her walking back out of the bathroom. I finished rinsing my hair and washed up quickly. I was done in a few minutes, pulling back the shower curtain to see that Eri had left a fresh towel on the toilet. She was seriously the best. I dried off a bit then wrapped the towel around my waist, heading back over to the couch. She was laying on her stomach, feet crossed at her ankles in the air and typing furiously on her phone. I leaned over the back of the couch and trailed my hand over her lower back, watching her tense for a second. She was way warmer than my hands were. I couldn’t help but wish I could play with her a bit before she left.
“You're freezing.” She said as she set her phone beside mine on the coffee table.
“It's too hot. I felt sticky.” i moved around the couch, taking my place beside her again. She scooted closer to me, her hand tugging at the towel and pulling it open.
“Let’s get this over with.” She said.
“Gee, dont sound so enthused.” I rolled my eyes as she giggled at me. In a way i knew she was joking but also she was probably ready to get going to band practice. It was important to her but so was i. She would make time for me. I cupped her face in my hands, pulling her close for a heated kiss while her hand fell between my thighs and groped my cock. I licked her lips before she let me in, my tongue filling up her mouth and making her squirm a bit. I loved the way it felt when we kissed. She was always a tease, hungry yet slow, or fast and harsh. You never knew what you were going to get. Whenever i could get a soft little moan out of her, it would go straight to my cock, making me breathe harder and want to fuck her for hours on end just to coax more out.
I slid my hand down her back, moving down to cup her ass. It was one of my favorite things about her. There was nothing better then seeing how good it looked while i fucked her from behind, better yet when i fucked her ass. I tried pulling her onto my lap but she let out a strained whimper.
“Careful…” She whispered. Ok, note to self, beat the shit out of Johnny next time i saw him for making my Eri so sore. I let go of her ass and opted for her hip again while my other hand slid under her tank top. I was already half hard, giving her some room to start stroking. I opened my legs wider as she rubbed her thumb over my head in slow circles making every nerve feel electrified. I was already wiggling my hips towards her palm, parting my lips to feed a deep groan down her throat. She already knew everything i loved, everything that turned me on, everything that could make me cum. She guided her kisses to my neck, sucking on my jugular just a bit before pressing her lips down my chest.
I relaxed my head back against the couch, my nails digging into the armrest when i felt her lips surrounding me. She eased herself down, little by little, stroking what she couldn't fit in her mouth. Her tongue circled around my head and she popped off it completely to kiss up and down my shaft. Her kisses slipped down to my balls, tongueing them just enough to make me almost lose my cool. I thrusted my hips more as i tried to get her to take me back in. She looked up at me, that same controlling look in her eye.
“You gonna behave?” She asked, raising a brow.
I licked my lips and looked at at her. “Are you?”
She sat up and pulled away from me. “I'll stop right now, Lucas. I swear.”
“No you wont.” I dared.
She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Oh really?”
“Mhm.” i moved closer towards her, angling my head for a kiss which I knew she would pull away from. In that instant i grabbed her neck making it disappear in the coverage of my hand. Her whole body relaxed and her face fell into an expression of bliss. Her eyes were practically rolling back in her head as her giddy giggles became strained when i closed my fingers around her tighter. It was scary as all hell to do this and it wasn’t necessarily something I enjoyed but seeing how good it made her feel got me going even more. Over time i got used to it, especially when she'd clench around me and scratch at my back, her body begging me to choke her harder. “Keep sucking, babes. It feels so good when I'm in your mouth.” i swiped my thumb over her full bottom lip, watching as her tongue poked out to lick it.
I let her go then and she eased back down, sucking faster this time. Her cheeks were starting to hollow out dragging more moans out of me. I set my hand on the back of her head, adding just enough pressure to keep her in place. I trailed my other hand down her back, sliding one of my fingers underneath her panties to feel how wet she was. She was trying to squirm away from from me but i let my finger slide slowly up and down her lower lips, rubbing each drop of slick through her folds and around her clit. I shushed her gently, telling her that i just wanted to make her feel good. I loved when she came with me and i was hoping she would swallow if i had her distracted enough.
I made circles on her bundle of nerves with just the tip of my middle finger, finally managing to get a louder moan out of her. The timbre from those cute sounds were enough to make my toes curl. I choked back her name, opting to keep quiet for now so I could concentrate. Her warm hand cupped my balls then, squeezing each one slightly as her thumb pressed into the sensitive points. I was already starting to throb in her tight mouth and it was making my nails dig into her scalp harder. I felt her wiggle her hips, reminding me that my finger was still in her panties. I rocked my finger through her wetness one last time before pushing it in slowly. I let her fuck herself on it as much as she wanted, leaving her to control the pace while i focused on my impending orgasm. “Eri...fuck…” i whispered.
She pulled off in one slow drag, rolling my precum over her tongue. “You know the drill.”
I groaned. “Please, Eri? Please? Just this once? I promise i’ll-”
“No. You know the rules.”
“But Quinn-”
“Then you should've asked Quinn.” she snapped back.
I dodged her glare and nodded in defeat. One day I was going to get her to swallow but for now i guess i had to cum on myself….again. She switched out her mouth with her hand, fisting the head of my cock before sliding down my shaft and giving it a squeeze. Cum was already starting to dribble down her hand as her hold on me tightened and loosened with each stroke. She pressed her chest to mine, bringing my head closer to cover her neck in kisses and miniscule bites. Her nails were digging into shoulder ever so slightly and her angry, commanding tone melted into that dangerously sweet voice.
“Come on, baby boy. Cum for me.” she cooed.
I held onto her then, so fucking tight, trying to bury my scream into her skin. I felt my stomach heat up as i came all over myself, my thigh muscles tensing. I swallowed back, panting against her chest as i worked through the tail end of my high. She kissed the top of my head, running her fingers through my hair, until I regained my composure.
“I gotta get dressed now.” She said, wiping her hand on the towel. I slid my hand out of her panties and groaned as i looked up at her.
“Stay for a bit…”
“I cant, its’ already about to be five. Quinn's gonna be home soon and you should actually get to your dorm sometime soon. You have class tomorrow.”
“Fuck class…”
“If you skip i'm gonna beat your ass.” She slid off the couch and headed to her room. She didn’t bother closing the door as she pulled her tank top over her head and dropped her panties. I had to look away, knowing i would make a bigger mess if i kept staring.
--
Eri's PoV
I shoved open the apartment door, kicking off my boots that were starting to dig into my feet. It felt so good to be home instead of a tiny garage sweating my ass off. I lugged my guitar and amp back to my room trying to ignore the loud moans coming from Quinn's room. I set my instrument down in the little sacred corner I set up where it wouldn't be disturbed, making sure to keep my cords wrapped up. Now that I was finally in the semi-peacefulness of my room I could take off the clothes that seemed to be glued to me. I pulled off my shorts, taking my phone out of my back pocket. I hadn’t checked it in hours and i could see the screen full of notifications. One caught my eye in particular. I clicked on the little bell which opened up my snapchat. There was one photo notification from the username i didnt recognize from this afternoon. I was going to scream if it was a dick pic. I dont even know why i thought it was a good idea to listen to Lucas and accept the request.
I braced myself as i clicked on it, waiting for the worse, even closing my eyes a bit. But it wasn’t bad. In fact...it was just Johnny. Johnny?? I gripped my phone tighter, pulling it closer to my face to examine the cute puppy filter on his black and white selfie, a simple caption of ‘hey’ towards the bottom of the screen. I couldn’t help the smile that tugged on my lips. He looked incredibly cute and definitely less like an annoying fuckboy. My heart started beating faster as i realized i should respond to him. I looked like a mess and i had no idea what i should i take a picture of. My room wasn't that clean, my face was meh at best and it was way too early for ass pics. I stared into my full length mirror, accessing the damage of my makeup. With my crappy room lighting and the use of a hundred filters I could potentially pull off a worthwhile selfie to send.
I angled my phone from above and mulled through the filters, finding a cute cat one that smoothed out my face to an angelic glow and made me have giant doe eyes. When i was satisfied i snapped the pic and typed in ‘Hey yourself’ as the caption. I expected him to leave me on read for most of the night and moved onto the other notifications i had. There was a text message from Yuta showing off new hot pink rope he had gotten (one of my favorite colors), a text from Taeyong telling me that Quinn had left their vest there (which im sure he texted just to have an excuse to talk to me), and a comment from Ten on my latest instagram selfie i took at practice (when my makeup was not so gross). I went to work answering them making the minutes pass by, keeping my mind off the thought of waiting for Johnny’s response. Thankfully, the waiting was short lived.
It was another picture but this one wasn’t so innocent and cute. His shirt was halfway up his torso, exposing his abs and the trimmed line of hair that trailed below his belly button and disappeared under the waistband of his Supreme briefs that were barely covered by his sweatpants. They did no justice in hiding the thick bulge beneath. His caption this time was ‘wyd?’. I stared at the picture so intently that my eyes started to blur a bit. I hadn’t even noticed i was holding my breath until my chest struggled to expand. He was reminding me exactly why i ended up in his bed last night and why i still felt the ache in my thighs.
I wasn't going to snap him back this time. No way. I knew exactly what he was doing- just trying to get me back in his bed. I wasn't going to fall for it. I was going to let him think that i wasn't desperate and let him suffer. I set my phone face down on my bed and pulled off my fishnet stockings and my shirt, tossing them in my hamper. I whipped off my bra and pulled on the tank top i had earlier, returning to my comfy pj state. Flopping onto my mattress, i laid back and reached for the headphones that always resided beside my pillow. They were my prized possession, complete with perfect outside noise cancellation. I opened up my spotify and hit shuffle on one of my favorite albums, sighing contently as Quinn and Lucas’ moaning was finally blocked out. I set my phone on my stomach and closed my eyes. I could use another nap to be honest…
But first…
I opened up my snapchat again succumbing to the victory of being the last one to send a teasing picture. I put the hem of my tank top cheekily between my teeth while i pressed my boobs together, making them fuller and have optimum cleavage. My caption was just a response to his question; ‘nothing much. Hbu?’.
I was too damn weak for him. I knew what the hell was under his sweatpants already but somewhere deep in the back of my mind, no matter how much i tried to ignore it, i had been thinking about the way he felt inside me. The dull ache, his long fingers, every bite of his perfect teeth on my skin, the small growls that made every one of my hairs stand on end. I thought there wouldnt be a next time- That i would just have to chalk him up to another one night stand- but now i knew he was interested in something a little more and i could play my favorite game of cat and mouse.
I set my phone back on my stomach opting to focus on the music. My nails drummed against my phone case following the beat of the heavy bass. It felt like an internal clock was ticking, reminding me like an annoying little devil that I was desperate for a response. Minutes turned into a half hour, a half hour turned into  an hour. I gave up on my ability to wait when Lucas banged on my door, loud enough to shake me from half asleep stupor. He was asking me to drive him back to his dorm. I didn’t bother putting my shorts back on. Instead i trudged to the front door in just my panties, sliding on my flipflops as we made our way out to the parking lot. The both of us were yawning as we got into my car, the passenger seat was still all the way back from when he got in three days ago.
“Had fun?” I asked. I could tell he was getting drained. Having sex non stop was going to run him right into the ground. He and Quinn were always hot messes like that. And I got called the stuck up one because my relationships were slightly more calculated.
“Yeah…” He grumbled.
“How many you'd get out?”
“2...Quinn got 5.”
“Oh boy. Let me guess, you didnt eat since I fed you either, right?” He didn't answer. I sighed and took a right turn away from the dorms and towards the strip of fast food places downtown.
“Where you going?”
“To get you food.” I flicked him in the temple, making him wince. “You need to eat and stop thinking with your dick so much.”
“Yes, Eri.” He sighed as set his head on his open faced palm, staring out the window. I pulled into a Taco Bell, rubbing his knee to pull him out of his sleepy daze. He gave me his order which seemed to be a whole laundry list of calories and fat. I pulled up to the next window and automatically reached for my debit card only to realize that i had left it at the apartment inside my shorts.
“Fuck.” I whispered.
Lucas dug into his pocket and handed me his card from his wallet. I started to protest but he just gave me a small smile. “I owe you. Dont worry about it. Youre always taking care of me anyway.”
I took his card and handed it over to the employee, waiting for his order. I felt his warm hand slip into mine giving it a little squeeze. “Dont start that gay shit.” I joked. He was always so clingy, loving, and sweet and I...liked to suppress everything I could about my emotions. Somehow he always found a way to bring something caring and nurturing out of me. He was so far from home that within the year or so that Quinn and I had known him, we became his family. Sure we all fucked but it just...kinda worked that way. I could be his best friend and caregiver and we could also connect physically to a point where it was neutral. He knew i would never want a relationship with him and that was for the best.
“Dont lie, Eri. Somewhere between your big tits you have a heart and not some black void like you pretend to have.”
“Excuse you, you leave my black void alone. It's fine just the way it is. I'm going to keep it that way.”
“Admit it. In there you have love for me and Quinn. And probably Johnnnyyyyyyyy~”
“Oh, grow up.” I scoffed. “Besides he's the one who wants it more than i do. It was him who sent me the request this afternoon and he’s already sent me a slutty snap.” i replied, grabbing the bag of food from the worker and handing it over to Lucas.
“Ohhh so that’s who that was? Shocker.”
“Yeah, you knew it was him, you little shit.”
“I’m your wingman, babes. You'll thank me later.”
I pulled out of the drive through and headed back in the direction of his dorm building. “I doubt that but ok. I dont even know if i'm gonna fuck him again.”
“You will.” he replied before shoving a burrito in his mouth. I pulled up to the building shortly after, ignoring his little quip and setting myself in park.
“Here we are, kid.”
He swallowed hard, licking his fingers of cheese sauce. “Can i come over next weekend?”
“I'm gonna be busy with Yuta on Saturday so see what Quinn says.”
“Ugh, fine.” He leaned in close and gave me a soft kiss, holding it for a bit longer than usual. “See you around!” He got out the car, taking his bag of food and backpack with him. I waited until i saw him disappear into the building before taking off. My phoned buzzed from within my cup holder and i wondered if it was Johnny. I waited until i came across a red light before stealing a glance at my phone. My mouth went dry as soon i saw his username on my screen. I wanted to see what he had sent so bad but if it was too good i didnt want it to happen while i was in the car and distracted.
I zoomed down the street, my foot a little bit heavier on the gas pedal than necessary. I was home in a flash, almost drifting into a parking space before taking the steps to my apartment two at a time. I unlocked the door and rushed in, surprised to see Quinn hobbling out of their room.
“Now i know how you feel with Johnny. My thighs are killing me.”
“Speaking of Johnny.” I spat out excitedly. “He added me on snapchat and his last snap to me was him in sweatpants with his dick print all perfect and his abs out and shit. I wanted to die. And now he just sent me another one and since you’re done with Lucas you can see it.”.
“God i hope it's his dick. Will you let me see his dick? I want to see his dick.”
I shrugged and clicked on his notification. “i guess we'll see- holy fucking shit.”
I could barely see his face, only his lips curling into a smirk as his monstrous hand groped at his bulge, giving it a quick shake. God it was so gross yet here i was salivating over it. His caption was ‘thought about how good you felt’. The 10 second clip was gone almost instantly but the view was already ingrained in my mind.
“Well if youre not gonna go over there and fuck him i will.” Quinn said.
“I’d rather you kinda….didn't.” I  looked down at them as a little bit of awkwardness sparked between us.
They pouted and crossed their arms. “You're gonna hog all that to yourself?! That's so unfair!”
“Ok, i know were pretty open about who we fuck because were in the same social circle but we kinda share Yuta and Lucas already! And i'm pretty sure Taeyong is up my ass again too, so that’s three guys! Let me have this ONE.”
“Ugh!! You’re getting soft! Was his dick that good that it went straight to your head and made you loopy?! We’re supposed to use them and leave! That’s it.”
“I know! I mean i usually leave right after when I’m with Ten and Yuta, i dropped Taeyong entirely, and Lucas hangs around here constantly so i can’t do much about that. You're the one that usually kicks him out. I dont know...i just…”
“You like him?!”
“I do not! I just like his dick! And maybe his lips….and his eyes...and his arms. And his tummy is cute too. His butt looks suuuuper good and-”
“You're weak, Eri. Promise me you will only use him for his dick. He's a dumb fuckboy who doesn’t deserve you.” Quinn said.
“I know that! And it’s gonna stay that way. Trust me. I'm not even going to answer him back. I’m tired so i’m heading to bed. I’ve got an early class anyway.”
“Yeah you do that. Between Jae, Taeyong, and Lucas, i’m pooped. I'm gonna stay home tomorrow.”
I rolled my eyes. Sometimes their will to not do anything successful with college was irritating. “Ok well you do that. Just be quiet if you're going to stay up late.” i said as i disappeared into my room and curled up in bed. What i said was partially true; i wasn't going to answer Johnny back. Well not now at least. He made me wait an hour before answering me. I was petty enough to make him wait twice as long for my response. I decided to set a timer as a reminder to get up and take a cute pic of my ass. But first a quick nap would do me good.
--
My alarm shook me out of my sleep, the heavy guitar riff scaring the crap out of me. I felt around for my phone groaning as i lifted my head off my pillow to shut it off. I blinked a few times bringing the time into view. It was 7:30 am. I totally missed my timer to respond back to Johnny and i didn't have time to take something sexy now. There were no other notifications from him either. I only had a few texts from my harem and a good morning selfie from Lucas. Glad he was actually going to class at least.
I forced myself out of bed and started getting ready. Shower, brushing my teeth, getting makeup on my face so i looked semi alive and like i didnt want to throw myself out a window. I picked out a random pair of leggings and a cut up band tee. That would suffice for today. I pulled on my worn out converses and grabbed my backpack, stuffing my headphones and laptop in it. I put some deodorant on and tossed it in my bag as well. I still had a decent amount of time to get to the commuters parking lot and head to the dungeon of journalism buildings. Once i got there, it only took a few minutes to find my classroom. It was a tiny box of a room with barely any air conditioning and older wooden desks. I plopped down in the middle aisle, already feeling my thighs stick to the chair.
Waiting for class to start was a pain. I was hungry and wanted coffee. I would maybe have some time to go to the Starbucks downtown before my next class. I didnt really have Starbucks money to spare but i needed a pick me up. Other students started shuffling in as the 9 o’ clock mark crept closer. Our professor still hadn’t shown up yet. The general consensus was 10 minutes without a teacher and you were free to leave. Please let me leave, i begged silently. If I didn’t cave in and get Starbucks I could sleep in a bit more in one of the quiet rooms in the library. I had some heavy decisions to weigh out within the next five minutes before I was able to book it.
I was watching the time tick on my phone when i saw a notification from snapchat. Oh fuck…It was Johnny. I opened it quickly, covering my phone just in case it was some sort of morning wood pic. I started wondering, just for a moment, if he slept in those sweats or completely naked. When i looked down at the picture it was actually of me sitting at my desk. The caption was ‘Ur not even gonna say hi? Lol’. I straightened up and whipped my head around trying to see where the fuck he was. I saw his smirk from the back right corner of the room, sunglasses over his eyes as he gave me a little head nod and stuck his tongue out. I whipped back around in my seat, trying to hide the blush that splattered across my cheeks.
Of course he would have class with me. Of fucking course. I had no idea what to do. Would this be awkward for us if we kept fucking? I could just ignore him for the entire semester. Pretend that any emotion towards him didn't exist and that we hadn’t fucked. While i was building my exterior facade into a sturdy wall my interior was crumbling with panic. I started furiously texting Quinn, even though i knew they weren't awake, just to get my internal screaming out. How was i supposed to get away from him now?! I had to look at those stupid gorgeous lips and thick thighs every single day of fall semester! All i could do was pray that the professor still didn't show up. My foot was furiously bouncing in anticipation of my freedom and potential to leave Johnny in the dust.
Unfortunately, i didn't get my wish. The professor came in then, huffing, puffing, and way too flustered. I set my head on the table and groaned, barely ready to suffer through the next hour and a half. Every once in awhile it would feel like Johnny was watching me but each time i looked back i was sure he was sleeping behind his sunglasses. He was probably up partying too late last night again. i caught him rubbing his eyes and yawning, looking so soft and sleepy. My lips tugged into a smile, that gooey, sickly sweet feeling returning to my stomach. I needed that to stop. I sighed and looked down at the syllabus that had been passed out. No one actually gave a crap about these. We just needed to know the due dates and what stupid projects we had. Time droned on but luckily we were let out a little early.
I stood up quickly, grabbing my bag and heading straight for the door, not bothering to look back to see if Johnny was on my tail. I got my answer either way when i felt an arm around my shoulders steering me towards the rows of rentable lockers. “So you are definitely ignoring me, right?” I heard him ask.
I groaned internally. “Not necessarily. I mean i couldn't just get up in the middle of class and ride your dick.” I kept myself in front of him, shuffling my weight from one foot to the other and gripping the strap of my backpack tightly.
“Definitely would have been better then going through another fucking syllabus. Like we dont know how to read.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, when’s your next class?”
“Why?” I asked curiously.
He looked around for a second before leaning against the lockers. “Wanna hook up again? I need a quickie.”
I couldn't help the giggle that escaped me. “Oh you need one, huh? Damn, didn't think you'd be the needy type Johnny.”
He sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes. “Let me put it this way then. I want to fuck and you’re the only one that’s here right now. Hows that sound?”
“Sounds like you're still thirsty from when I didn't answer your snap last night.”
“Don't know why you're playing hard to get when you weren’t that hard to get in my bed on Saturday.”
“And you definitely aren't hard to wrap around my finger.” I shot back, glaring at him as our bodies edged closer to each other.
“I’m hardly wrapped around your finger.” His almost hissed as he leaned in.
“You're here wanting to fuck me again, aren't you?” I crossed my arms and smirked up at him, knowing I had bested him in his little shade contest.
He dragged his tongue over his teeth and scoffed.  He looked away for a second, probably trying to recoup his ego. “Look, you want it or nah? I don’t have time to waste”
I got my phone out of my bra and flicked on the screen, pretending to see if I had enough time for him. My next class still wasn’t for another hour and a half. I could squeeze in a quickie. Besides if this perked me up then I could save a few bucks on coffee. I let out an exaggerated sigh. “I guess I have some free time. You got a condom?”
He patted his shorts, grabbing his wallet from his back pocket before flipping it open and checking the money pocket. “Yep.”
“I’m not about to fuck you with some old ass condom you’ve had in your wallet since you were like 16.”
“I just put it in there the other day, stupid. Anyway, where you wanna go?”
“Third floor has private bathroom. Normally that floor is pretty empty until later on in the afternoon. Follow me.”
I slipped in front of him, trying my best to make sure he had a view of my ass in the leggings that left little to the imagination. Besides if I lead the way I wouldn’t have to struggle as much to keep up with his long strides. We maneuvered up the stairs, flowing around the clog of students shifting classes. When we got to the third floor it was mostly clear as I had expected but I still looked around to see if anyone would possibly notice us. Johnny didn’t care, however. He sprinted ahead of me, swinging the door open the to single stall. “Come on already. No one’s gonna see.”
I sighed and scurried over to him, bouncing into the room and rushing him to close the door. He rolled his eyes as he set his backpack down and locked the door. “What? You think we’re gonna get in trouble out something? A bathroom isn’t the same as the student affairs office.”
“Shut up, asshole. I just want to be sure no one is going to interrupt us is all. I don’t have time to hear you whining about blue balls or some shit.”
“Whatever, scaredy cat. Let’s get this over with.” He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it by his backpack.
“Let’s get this over with? You know I can just leave you here to jerk off if that’s how you’re gonna be.”
“Yeah but you wont.” He grabbed the strap of my backpack and forced me close to him, my head almost ramming into his chest. I braced myself against him, about to bombard him with profanities when his hands cupped either side of my face. His head came down to connect our lips and I melted then, hungry to satisfy my addiction that already developed for his sensual kisses. I clung to his waist tight as we melded together. His tongue slipped out to massage my own, sucking it into his mouth to control every aspect of our tangle. He retreated his hands from my face and worked to shove my backpack off and drop it beside us. I had begun to claw at the waistband of his shorts while he grabbed a hold of my hair. His other hand rested on the small of my back, making sure i was crushed against him. My breath was barely able to escape with how close we were and his lips not breaking from mine. I managed to pop open the button of his fly while he moved us backwards, trapping me between his well built frame and the bathroom wall. I pulled away finally, gulping down air that he threatened to take away again.
“You like shoving me against shit, don’t you?” i panted heavily.
He licked his lips, lowering himself even more to kiss at my neck. “I like having you exactly where i want you. Plus, it's hot to see you stand on your tiptoes just to try and kiss me.”
“I'm pretty sure you just like me being short because my mouth is closer to your dick.”
“I mean that too.” He chuckled lowly before wrapping his lips around my collarbone to draw blood to the surface. “We can test that out if you want.”
“If i'm good at giving head?”
He small groan against my shoulder. “Yeah. That.”
“Well…” I grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him back, switching our positions to have him pinned to the wall. “I haven't had any complaints yet.” Johnny looked a little surprised, yet excited at the prospect of me sucking him off. His eyes were fixated on me, on my lips, as i trailed passionate kisses down his stomach and nipped at his iliac's crest. In a split second, his shorts were around his ankles and my knees followed them to the ground. I was mostly confident in my ability to pleasure him until a sickening feeling started bubbling in my mind. How the hell he was even remotely going to fit into my mouth? I could barely take him inside me without minutes on end of preparation. Now he expected me to shove him down my throat? I swallowed hard when the outline of his dick trapped in his boxer briefs stared me down.
“You just gonna sit there or-?” he snapped.
I realized he had been waiting for me to start. My heart was thundering already as I tried to conceive of a way to swallow him down comfortably. I sighed internally and just decided to bite the bullet. I rested my hands on his hips kissing the outline of his cock through his underwear. His breath stilled as his eyes closed and his head dipped back ever so slightly. I kissed the head of his cock, sucking gently and tonguing around the thickness. My hands wandered from his hips to his ass, grabbing a hold of his firm cheeks. I heard him let out a small laugh before pulling my hands away, making me pout.
“What's up with you girls and my ass? Ya”ll are always grabbing it.” he said.
“Not for nothing but it’s pretty cute and if you want me to enjoy sucking your dick even more, you should probably let me do it.” I yanked my hands from his and pulled down his underwear swiftly, revealing what made me scared yet lustful. He was rolling his eyes, preparing to retort with another quip when i wrapped my lips fully around his head. He exhaled softly instead, making the easiest of thrusts into my mouth as he started getting hard. My mouth was expanding to accommodate being fuller and I tried swallowing around him, inching my way down gradually. My eyes were already squeezed shut, my chest heaving as i forced myself to breathe through my nose.
The groan that came out of him was definitely a bit louder and deeper than what i heard during our last hookup. It was followed by a much softer ‘keep going’ as his long fingers came to rest on my shoulder. His thumb stroked my jugular, keeping me steady against him. My body relaxed a bit more as i felt the warmth of his hand so close to my neck. I was leaning into him again, wanting to feel the constriction of my air supply. I was able to swallow down more, barely half way but better than what i expected. I worked a hand around his base, giving a small squeeze before starting rhythmic strokes. My fingers met my lips as I flowed between sucking and stroking, trying my best to coax those rumbly groans out of him once more.
His thumb finally pressed into the front of my throat and I could feel the pressure every time i swallowed back. My grip on his ass tightened my nails digging into the muscles and leaving small marks behind. I wrapped a small moan around the tip of his cock as I felt the beginning drops of precum coat my taste buds. He hissed softly as he slipped the condom from his pocket into my hand. “Hurry…”
I smirked, releasing him from my mouth and tearing the foil open. “Still so needy, Johnny~”
He turned his eyes away from me. “Just hurry up and make me cum.”
“Hah, funny. I'm the one who should be cumming before you, asshole.”
“If you earn it.” He guided my hand towards his dick, commanding me to roll the condom on. 
I scoffed, pinching the tip of the rubber as i rolled it down his shaft. “If I earn it? You’re seriously bad at trying to be the one in charge.” I lied. His sharp tongued quips and deep tone was sending shivers down my spine. I wanted him to control me, command me, and have me fight tooth and nail against him.
Johnny grabbed me by my arms, hauling me up to my feet and harshly pulling down my leggings. I couldnt even say anymore before his fingers were down my panties. His middle finger was coyly circling my entrance and I knew he was just trying proving his point. Specifically, when his finger made one slow drag up to my clit before sliding back down again. “You were saying?”
I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. “Instead of annoying me with your smart ass mouth and your boring repeated tricks, why don’t you repay the favor by eating me out?”
He looked down at me, wrinkling his nose in a face of disgust. “Nah, i'm cool.”
Excuse me?? What? Did he really just deny eating me out? What kind of nonsense was that?!
“Why not? I literally just sucked your dick. It's the least you could do.” i almost growled. I would have much rather had him go down on me and not be such a jerk about it. Maybe i was spoiled. Every single one of my other partners would do it for me, from Taeyong to Quinn to Lucas and everyone in between. Johnny was the worst exception and my mind still toyed with the idea of leaving him here to get off on his own. I felt his finger dip into me again, trying to distract me from my tirade of angry thoughts. I hated him for all the convincing he was doing by filling me with his thick long fingers, furling and unfurling at a pace that made me squirm against him. My anger was slowly dissolving and my hips were grinding into his palm with each thrust. His breath brushed against my ear while his other hand tugged on the hem of my tee.
“Off, now.” He purred against me.
His command was better and more convincing this time. The timbre of his voice made my thighs clench just a bit and brought out the worst in my bratty personality. “Make me.”
I didn’t expect him to laugh in my face. “What are you, twelve? Just take it off.”
“Shut up! You're the one trying to command me and shit!.”
“I thought that's what you liked? Or is that only when you're tied up with your legs open?” He pulled his fingers out of me, my juices glistening under the fluorescent lighting. I stared at them, my tongue coming to drag over my bottom lip as tension filled the minimal space between us. I swallowed back when i saw the way he was looking at me, irritated yet primal in a way. He gave another tug on my shirt and i didnt question it this time. I pulled it over my head, along with my bra, and dropped it to the floor, never taking my eyes off him as he gripped my chin and pushed his cum covered fingers passed my lips.
The way he filled my mouth so easily had me clawing at his waist to keep him against me. My tongue worked over each digit, sucking my taste off before forcing myself down to his knuckles. His brows furrowed as he watched, concentrating on every movement and the way I grabbed at his wrist as if I was pleading to never pull away. I did however manage to regain myself enough to send a taunting question his way. “Remember when you said you were going to finger me so hard you would have me cumming in minutes? That didn't happen last time. Gonna make up for your lie?”
“i wasn’t lying but since you want to test me so bad bend over the fucking sick then, smartass.”
He shoved me towards the sink so fast that I struggled to kick off my converses and leggings so i wouldn't trip. I grabbed onto the sides of the sink, glaring back at Johnny through the mirror that was bolted above it. “You don't have to push me.”
“Aw baby,” he cooed as he lifted my knee onto the edge of the sink. “Dont lie, i know you love this. I’m gonna make you cum all over my cock.”
“Pause. Big pause. Don’t ever, and i mean, EVER say that. It's gross and literally the most unsexy thing someone could ever say.”
He shrugged, his voice dropping in tonality. “Usually girls want me to say shit like that.”
“Get it through your thick skull that i’m not one of your little chickenheads. What works for them doesn't do shit for me. Just...be yourself.” I sighed as I squared my shoulders and looked back at him. “Ok?” I said softly.
He licked his lips and cleared his throat. “What fucking ever.” He was back to his cocky attitude then but for a split second i could see a small shift in his eyes. Maybe it was doubt or him softening up a bit through me calling him out. I hoped it got through to him or else i'd have to use one of Ten’s ball gags every time i was with him.
He resumed his impatient plunges, as if nothing had transpired, discarding whatever feelings that were passing through his thoughts. He pressed his chest into my back, forcing me to stay bent over the small bowl. The pressure of his body against mine continued to build up and overwhelm my endorphins. I braced my hand against the mirror, the heat from it fogging into a print. God, he was such an asshole for making me feel this good.
He gathered my hair in his fist, tugging slightly to angle my head towards the mirror so i could see the smirk on his reflection.“You know i think i like it better when you don't talk either.”
I gave him a spiteful glare as our eyes chased one another before his tongue dove to place lavish licks across my throat. My shoulders tensed at the sensation, fighting to give into carnal desires that seemed to flare up whenever I was with him.
He placed more bites between my shoulder blades mixing them with the still fresh marks from our previous escapade. He joined his destruction of my skin's surface with the curling of his fingers again, pressing the pads of his fingertips against the sensitive area within me. My lips clasped into a impenetrable wall, sealing in my moan while his were flowing freely into my shoulders. I felt his cock burying into my back, the friction of my squirming leading him into torment. My supporting leg seemed to lift up on its own, bringing me to my tip toes, making him get as deep as he could. The torture ceased when i finally gave into his claim, my first orgasm shocking me as it had in fact hit me in minutes. I almost believed i could snap the sink in half with how utterly amazing his fingers were.
My head dipped low as i sank back, trying to recover before he worked me up again. I wanted to rest my propped up leg down on the ground but Johnny kept it pinned in place. He didnt let me have a moment to myself. Instead he vanished inside me so breathtakingly fast that my gasp surrounded us in echoes. His hand forced an iron grip on my hip while his muscles worked to piston into me. I leaned back against his shoulder reminding me of the climax of our first fuck. My eyes were fluttered closed, lips parted and waiting to feel his tongue overrunning mine. The small teasing nibbles to my lips that turned into rumbling bites were enough to make me weak.
Mewls, curses, and begs circulated between us Then it was over. He pulled away without an explanation, a pattern he was performing all too familiarly. He busied himself with kicking off his shoes and stumbling out of his shorts. I knew he hadnt cum yet and i need that deep stretch between my thighs and that radio voice to make me drip. I crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for his next move. “Well?”
He showed nothing more than calculated movements to pull me up into his arms, keeping me between his chest and the wall anew. There wasn’t any struggle to lift me, not even so much as a grunt when the muscles in his arms flexed to support my legs and my ass. I watched every inch of him tense; his legs square and steady, his chest rising and falling with each heavy inhale, and his shoulder blades pinching inwards. He was literally beautiful and i despised it. He was making my brain feel as if it was stuck in the clouds and was never going to clear itself of the fog.  He had spread me out for him, my legs dangling over his striated forearms,
I felt him then, his shaft riding between my lower lips to coat himself in my wetness. It was opposite of the rushed thrusts he had moments ago that made my stomach burn. The ridge of his head ghosted across my clit with each upward motion reminding me that the simplistic move was enough to bring me closer to insanity. That sensation was my favorite thing in the world and i ached for more. I held onto his shoulders, stabilizing myself as i inched my hips to meet his in an unwavering continuation of my satisfaction. His eyes flickered down at me, that smug look mocking me. Why did he know how to tease me so well?
I wanted to shove his face away from me but instead i dipped a hand down from his shoulder, my nails scraping against his torso. His eyes followed my fingers, getting wide as he found them spreading myself open for him. I could see his adam's apple bob with a hard swallow. “Fuck...” He shuddered. I felt my back slide down the wall as his hold on me wavered for a second. He hiked me up, repositioning me as he got a hold of himself. He was at a better angle now and the tip of his cock was already pushing past my entrance. I rested my head against the wall trying to distract myself from the way my already sore thighs were shaking and instead concentrate on the returning thrusts.
The slow sweet feeling got my body on edge just as much as the fast pace plowing did. I could feel myself tingling, shuddering each time his head caught a sensitive spot within my walls. Johnny dripped kisses across my breasts as his tongue teased tantric circles around my nipple before capturing it between his plush lips. My back arched, my breast filling his mouth enough for him to bite the swell of it. My breath hiccuped as i felt the sting of his teeth grazing against my skin. I wanted to see the after effects of those perfect rows when i thought of him later on tonight. He kissed at the indentations, creeping his way back up to my neck. 
His motions switched to a rough slam that had his hips forcing me back against the clammy wall as i clutched onto him for dear life. The calculated and harsh thrusts were powerful enough to drive feelings out of me that i preferred to keep repressed. It didn't help at all when his husky fervored radio voice finally groaned in my ear, “Fuck, Eri….you feel so good.”
In my head i was begging him not to stop though all i could get out was little squeaks as my nails etched streaks into his back. He hissed as i clenched around him with as much strength as i could muster, spurring the morphing jagged stutters of his hips faster. Our lips met in a rougher kiss once more, teeth clashing and moans interrupting each grab of our tongues. He was stretching me as he throbbed until the ever euphoric feeling flushed over us together. Our bodies had somehow managed to sync our orgasms which shocked me into silence. Johnny pressed his forehead into my shoulder as he slowed down, riding out the last aching feeling between us. I was tingling all over, my limbs feeling like tv static, as a wave of warmth washed over my skin. Everything about this was a mystery I had to unravel. It was new and different. I had never cum at the same time as my partner before. I always thought it was an enigma that only appeared in movies and tv shows. Now that I was experiencing it I had no idea what to do or say. I looked up at him as i tried to gather myself.
“Shit...uh…” What did you say to someone who made you feel so painstakingly good?
He pulled out of me gently before setting me down on my unstable legs. I diverted my eyes from him and managed to catch my reflection in the mirror. New hickies were all over me flowing with the others and the teeth marks on my chest made the skin tender. The fatigue was setting in hard and i was harshly reminded of the warm September weather that the shitty air conditioning in this building couldn't keep up with. I wanted to shower then sleep forever, maybe with him in my bed.
That minuscule daydream ended as i saw him tossing out the used condom and getting dressed. He was cold and distant like i usually was after a quick fuck..
“See ya.” He said as he pulled his shirt back over his head and grabbed his backpack. I gave him the finger as the door shut behind him, cursing under my breath. I was pretending that it wasn’t phasing me that he was leaving me out in the cold again. I turned on the faucet and ran some water over my neck and chest, trying to cool myself down. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail before wiping the cum that was now making me uncomfortably wet from between my thighs. Getting dressed was a painful ride that i was sure to carry onto my shift at work later on. I took a deep breath before opening the door and sliding back out into the world, less horny but still feeling incredibly reckless.
--
Johnnys POV
I unlocked the door to the apartment, sighing deeply as i still felt the scratches from earlier beneath my backpack. They had bothered me all day during my shift and I had half a mind to curse Eri out. I dropped my backpack to the floor, grateful to get rid of the weight and kicked off my work boots. I ran my fingers through my hair as i took off my hat, setting it on the hook by the door along with my keys. Jae was sprawled out on the couch seeming to have done nothing all day. “Hey dipshit.”
“‘Sup, asshole.” he replied.
“I’m fucking starving.” I announced as i headed over to the kitchen. I opened the freezer and took out the frozen pizza i had been thinking about all day. I had barely eaten since i had started my shift this afternoon and at this point i would eat everything if our fridge wasn’t so empty.
“Hey i got you something.” I heard Jae call out as i tore open the box and pulled out the pizza.
“What?”
“Look.”
I turned back to see a little plastic baggie dangling from his fingers. I rushed back to him snatching it up. “Fuck! Where'd you get this from? Matt?”
“Yeah, i managed to have enough for the good shit.”
“Thank fuckin' god because Josh kept giving us mostly stems.” I replied. “I'm gonna put some food in the oven in a sec, if you wanna share.”
He nodded. “What are you making?”
“Pizza, i dont think we have another one but ill double check. Oh, we need screens.” I headed into my room for a moment, grabbing my bowl off my dresser and searching for the screens i had….somewhere. I opened my drawer and moved some of my underwear around, searching for the stupid little envelope. “For the love of tits, where is it? JAE! You got any screens left?”
“Fuck if i know.” he called back.
Thanks for helping, asshole. I went to check my desk drawer, pushing aside some of my sd cards, lighters, and notebooks until I finally found the tiny manilla envelope with the mesh screens for the bottom of my bowl. I went back to the living room and handed them over to Jae. “You wanna get it ready? Im gonna put the pizza in.”
He sat up and grabbed his grinder that was on the coffee table. “Yep. Can we use your good lighter? Mine barely has any juice left.”
We always use my good lighter. I rolled my eyes and tried to hide my annoyed sigh. I couldn't be too picky. He did get me good weed after all. “Yeah, no problem, bro.” I left him to work and shuffled back to the kitchen, getting out a cookie sheet and slapping the pizza on it, sans plastic. I looked in the freezer to see if we had anything else I could whip up. There was some left over frozen fries and onion rings. I shrugged and dumped them onto the cookie sheet, shoving the pizza aside a bit. That was good enough. I tossed it in the oven and set the timer for like 20 minutes.
I sat down beside Jae on the couch just as he was lighting the bowl, taking in a big inhale before handing it to me. I did the same, waiting a bit before exhaling, my eyes resting on the rerun of Rick and Morty he had put on. I thought about telling him what happened between Eri and I this afternoon. We normally told each other about who we fucked but i felt like i wasn't going to hear the end of his bitching if I did. Oh well. I had a mental shrug before taking another hit. “So….i fucked Eri again today.”
“Damn, for real?” He looked over at me in disbelief, shaking his head a bit. “I knew you were whipped for her.”
“Fuck off, i am not. She’s just you know…hot.” As in ridiculously cute even though she was not the usual type i went for. “And she has nice tits.” As in they fit so perfectly in my hands and i wish i could hold them all day, that i could hold her all day… “And shes tight as fuck, to be honest.” As in, i could hardly give a shit about that but she feels so damn good that my mind just turns to mush when im inside her. “Oh, and shes good at giving brain.” As in, her lips are literally a gift to this damn world and all i could think about was kissing them...but also yeah, she gives good brain too.
“Damn, her pussy must be that special to end your one night stand streak then. What happened to ‘only get her snap or instagram so she cant call you’, or ‘only ask for nudes’, or ‘fuck her and leave and dont ever text her back’?”
“The dick wants what the dick wants, bro.” I said before taking another hit. I really wished she would get out my head. I was stuck with her though. For an entire semester i had to stare at the way she twirled her hair around her finger as she tried to look back at me and hope that i didnt notice. I noticed it all and it only made it worse. Everything about her was frozen in my head like a damaged vhs tape caught in the same scene. Even at work i was fucking up coffee orders because i would remember the little moans she made in my ear or some other gay shit. Sometimes i would think about tracing my fingers over her tattoos and seeing what other things turned her on. I hated this. I needed to separate myself from her. Sleeping with her again was a mistake.
“You good or are you just spacing out from the weed?” Jae laughed.
I blinked quickly and looked at him, suddenly coming out of my funk. I had no idea how long I spaced out for or however many hits i took. It was kind of an unconscious motion at this point. I laughed nervously trying to cover up that i had been thinking about Eri. “Oh yeah, haha. Shit's good. I'm gonna check on the food ok?”
“I think the timer went off.” He shrugged as he packed another bowl. I went to check the food, taking my phone with me. I was secretly hoping that i would have a snap from Eri. There was nothing. I should've been happy because it meant i could cut ties and not have her in my room again (or bathroom for that matter). But a feeling in my stomach kept tugging. It was if my gut was telling me to just take the chance and message her again. We barely talked otherwise. Even today i just left her in the bathroom because it was what i was used to even though I felt like I should’ve said more. That orgasm was fuckin’ insane-better than anything I had ever had before. Maybe one more little hook up wouldn’t kill me. No. I was starting to break my own rules.
I wanted to slam my head against the wall with all this back and forth bullshit in my mind. I needed to smoke more; until my head got foggy, my eyes blurry, and i could laugh this feeling away. I opened the oven and stared at the food for awhile, trying to gauge if everything was cooked without actually touching it. I cocked my head to the side, watching the slow bubbling of the pizza cheese and listening to the sizzle of the fries that were just starting to crisp.
“Is it done?!”
I stepped back from the oven, wiping away the sweat on my forehead that had started to accumulate from being in front of the heat for so long. I looked around for a potholder, finding it on the floor because Jae could never pick anything up. I pulled the tray out and grabbed a plate for myself. “Come get your own shit!”
I grabbed a knife and started hacking away at the pizza, trying to get it into slices. I was so focused on trying to unstick it from the tray i almost didnt notice the two quick vibrations that went off as my phone screen flashed on. I tried not to look at it right away since Jae was making his way over to the kitchen. If i didn’t play it cool he would go back to bitchin’ about me hooking up with Eri again. He started picking off fries from the tray, opening and closing his mouth to try in get cold air in, instead of waiting for it to cool like a normal human being. Meanwhile, I managed to get half a slice of pizza unstuck and dropped it onto my plate before joining it with some onion rings. I picked up my phone, making sure Jae was too engrossed with eating to see what Eri had sent me.
It was a picture of her neck and shoulders. The new hickies from today that had amassed into a weird purple splotch on her skin. Her caption was ‘can you not? I do have to go to work you know lol’. I smirked. Seeing them all over her made me feel something. Like i had marked my territory? Eww no. That sounded gross. Maybe i liked seeing a reminder of me on her? It was feeding into my thoughts of ‘maybe she was thinking about me too’. My thumbs hovered over my keyboard for a solid minute. I didnt want to sound like an idiot or worse, a desperate idiot.
Text me when ur free?
I hit send in the chat section then typed out my number. I never did that. Never fucking ever. I was kicking myself mentally already. She wasn’t going to text back. I set my phone in my pocket and pulled off more pizza from the tray and went to the couch, alternating between eating, smoking, and feeling my body start to give into sleep. “Dont sleep on the couch.” I yawned at Jae, seeing him start to slump over on the armrest.
“I’m chill. I had a productive day of not giving a fuck and staying home. Go snap your girlfriend.” he laughed.
“Go text yours.” I got up and shuffled to my room, slamming the door behind me. I tossed my phone onto my bed and took off all my clothes, kicking them towards the giant pile of laundry on my floor. I shook off a condom wrapper that stuck to my foot then fell face first into the mattress. My body felt heavy. I hoped i would stay asleep through the night this time and wake up not needing 4 Americanos to start the day. I felt a vibration through my bed and poked my head up from my pillow.
I guess im free
Dumbass
I immediately saved her number.
Cool
Slut
I could feel a smile start to form on my lips and i shoved my face back into my pillow. If i suffocated myself enough i’d end my misery. I wouldn't need to wait for my heart stop beating so fast if i was dead. Minutes passed by and there wasn’t another message. I waited just a bit longer, until my eyelids felt heavy and i dove deep into the void.
The void was sometimes peaceful but it never really lasted long. There were times where it shifted into an ocean and made me choke on the waters of my mental distress. Other times it was a sterile room, bright and menacing. It housed my body on a slab that couldn't move, my mouth wired shut and my inability to scream permeating my mind until all i did was panic. The worst of times it was a monster that sucked me back into a realm of corrupted childhood innocence and i could never escape the horrors of being chased. It felt so stupid that i could do all this to myself but never had a way to stop it. The fear was overwhelming, creeping through each nerve until all that was left was the suffocating silence and the streaks of tears on my cheeks that smothered me in emotions that were usually locked away and buried under time and ignorance. I was fading into a forgotten mess and still trying to claw my way up, reaching for absolutely anything that could pull me out.
“Hello?....Johnny?”
I gasped as my body yanked upright. My room was stuffy and heated. My sheets stuck to my sweat drenched body, clinging like a second skin. I looked down at my hands that were slowly coming into view as i blinked away tears.
“Johnny???”
I looked around in the darkness of my room. I had no idea where that voice was coming from. Was i just imagining things? Was i even actually awake? I spotted my phone, the screen glowing as it showed an ongoing call to Eri. I picked it up, trying to even out my breath. “H-hello?”
“Dude, its like 4am. Why are you calling me?” she sounded groggy and irritated.
“So-sorry. I uh...i think i might've rolled over onto my phone and dialed you. Didn't mean to wake you.”
“You sound out of breath. Did you call me while you're fucking someone?!”
“No...seriously i’m not. I-i-i gotta go.” I hung up instantly, not wanting to dwell in my weakness. I didn't need her to know about my suffocating anxiety forced night terrors. I didn't need anyone to know about those. I wasn't sure if i rolled over onto my phone or picked it up and dialed her in my sleep. I assumed i had done it more so on accident. Who knows how much thrashing i did this time. I laid back down, kicking off the sticky blankets and instead focusing on the dozens of messages i had missed in the group chat since i had fallen asleep.
--
The Boys Group Chat
Jae: the king has been bested lol
Taeyong: ohhh shit what happened now?
Jae: the one night stand turned into another fuck
Ten: wait he fucked eri again????
Jae: 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Jae: yup
Ten: holy shit
Taeyong: holy shit is right
Taeyong: thats like...
Taeyong: i mean hes never done that
Jae: not since we became friends
Jae: its been like 2 yrs since we met too
Ten: oh how the mighty have fallen
Johnny: can yall not???
Johnny: like i can literally read everything youre sending
Johnny: i havent fallen anywhere
Ten: hell yeah you have. Youre literally trapped now
Johnny: im not fucking trapped. Its done and over with. Were not gonna fuck again
Yuta: ok bro whatever u say tbh
Johnny: get out of here yuta
Yuta: 👅👅👅👅👅👅
Taeyong: dont listen to them. Ten and yuta drool over her every time she comes near them. Theyre like addicted or something
Taeil: ive seen you commenting a few times on her ig ty. Seems like theyre not the only ones addicted
Taeyong: ive literally just liked a few of her posts! So fucking what? That doesnt mean anything!
Taeil: you were literally staring at her at the party
Taeyong: yeah because you were trying to do your innocent boy schtick!
Ten: ty no matter how much you want to deny it you want her too
Johnny: shes literally not that great. I was just horny today after class. Yall need to chill
Jae: ok but if you hook up with her a third time then we know ur for sure whipped
Johnny: fucking choke. Pls.
Yuta: once you get used to her she aint so bad
Johnny: im cool. Trust.
Ten: hes too vanilla for her lolol
Johnny: fuck off. At least i dont have to like strangle myself to get off
Ten: awww chokings fun j-suh. Im surprised she hasnt asked you to do it yet
Johnny: well i mean like
Johnny: she kinda leaned into my hand a bit
Johnny: on saturday i mean. But it was weird so i just moved it
Ten: lmaooooo pussy
Yuta: dude just do it. She just gets this look in her eyes and its fucking insane
Jae: can yall not right now? Im about to puke
Taeil: im sure shes fine having normal sex. You act like every waking moment with her has to be kinky
Johnny: i havent had any complaints yet either
Taeil: yet? As in youre actually planning for another time? Lol
Johnny: GOOD NIGHT ASSHOLES
ten: #whipped
Yuta: #johnnyiserisbitch
Jae: then what does that make u two?
Yuta: her fuckin doms, dumbass 😂😂😂
Jae: what does that even mean????
Taeyong: even i know what that means jae damn. How dumb are you?
Jae: its just weird! Idk!
Yuta: it means when ten and i fuck her we control everything about her
Taeil: jfc
Ten: its a gift what can i say
(Downloading picture)
Johnny: Yuta are you fucking serious rn bro?
Taeil: Did you really take a picture of her tied up and gagged?
Yuta: lmao yeah. why fckn not? its hot
Johnny: how many pics of her do you have?
Yuta: lol so fucking many
Ten: ive got videos too 😏😏
Yuta: i mean theyre all up for grabs in case you want em 😜
Taeil: dont you think you shouldn't be sending those without her permission?
Yuta: i can dm u them
Taeil: yeah tbh
Taeyoung: youre just as bad as everyone else
Taeil: 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
Johnny: cut it out
Ten: boo yall are no fun at all
Yuta: anyway just dont fuck her again or else ull get trapped
Johnny: like you two are?
Ten: guilty tbh
Yuta: mood
Jae: yall need to sleep
Jae: asap
Jae: and stop bugging me
Taeil: mute the damn chat duh
Johnny: i gotta get back to bed too
Johnny: morning shift tomorrow
Taeyong: wack but same
Taeyong: ill see you guys
Ten: nighty nighty tae tae😚😚😚
Jae: ten ur gay is showing. No homo
Ten: literally all the homo. Anyway tell us again if you fuck eri
Ten: and ill let you know what happens on thursday ;)
Johnny: id rather not know and not fuck her again if ur gonna touch her
Taeil: i mean u basically already have so….
Johnny: shut up
Yuta: 😂😂😂😂
Yuta: dumbass
Taeil: im dipping out but ill let you guys know if she comes to the library ✌👅
Jae: eww dont talk about that
Taeyong: stop being such a kid and just go down on her
Johnny: off limits for damn sure
Ten: i'm telling you she wont keep you around if you dont
Johnny: good lets keep it that way
300 notes · View notes
zuhohmygod · 6 years ago
Text
Yunho(ATEEZ) x Reader
Anon Asked: Oof hello!! I saw u were asking for requests so Im here to help lol!! Can I have a Yunho scenario, maybe like a college au or something like that??? Where he has a crush on the reader but he teases her cuz he doesn't know how to confess and she thinks he like hates her or something?? Djsbs sorry its cheesy but im a sucker for enemies-to-lovers scenarios 😭💛 
I hope this is what you wanted. This turned out way longer than I thought but I’m pretty proud of it. (It is a total of 2,995 words!) If this isn’t exactly what you wanted just let me know and I’ll rewrite it for you!~Luna
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You smiled as you walked into the building and started to head towards the classroom. It was your first day of college and you were hoping to have a fresh start. You even chose a college that was farther away from where your parents wanted but you argued that you needed to get out of the house at some point. Secretly you just wanted to get away from everyone at that school. School was a living hell for you and it all started with one guy. You shake your head to get the memories out of you head and continue looking for your classroom. 
You finally find the classroom and you pause to stop the music and take out your earbuds. Once you’ve put your earbuds in your backpack you walk into the classroom on to freeze in the doorway when you hear a familiar laugh. You’d recognize that laugh anywhere. You shake your head as you continue into the classroom when you notice the laughing has stopped. You look up to find the one person in the world who can ruin this new experience. 
“Hey shorty!” He shouts from across the room. 
“Leave me alone Yunho.” You say as you take a seat by the window. 
“Now is that anyway to greet someone?” He asked as he walked over to you. 
You just ignored him and proceeded to scroll through something on your phone. Since you were so busy staring at your phone you didn’t notice Yunho walking up behind your seat. You only realized he was there when your phone was snatched out of your hands. 
“Give that back!” You shouted at him as you stood up. 
“Now why would I do that when you weren’t nice to me?” He asked as he held your phone above your head. 
“Why should I be nice to you when you made my life a living hell in high school. You ruined some of the happiest moments for me! I lost all of my friends because of you!” You yelled as you gave up on trying to grab your phone. 
“There were happy moments in your life?” He asked with a smirk on his face. 
“Yeah there were, but none that you would know of because I never told anyone! I didn’t even open up to my parents about any of it because I knew they wouldn’t understand! I never told anyone because oh that’s right you took all of my friends! The ones that didn’t join you in teasing me just left me completely so they didn’t get teased either!” You paused to take a deep breath. “Now if you don’t mind I would like my phone back.” 
Yunho stood speechless as he handed your phone back to you. You grabbed it and turned around before facing him again and looking him in the eyes.
“And one more thing, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me alone from now on so I can forget about high school and hopefully make some friends.” You said as you then turned around and sat down.
Yunho stood with his mouth open for a minute before turning around and walking to his seat. You didn’t see the sad look on his face and you hoped you would never have to see him that close again. 
~A couple of days later~
You were about a week into your classes and your were doing really well. Yunho has left you alone and you’ve even made a couple of friend’s and you couldn’t be happier. You arrived in your first class of the day and looked at the board and immediately got had fear for what was to happen. The board read that you would be partnering up for a project and seeing as you had one friend you were hoping you could partner with him. You walked over and sat down next to him and gave him a small smile. 
“Good morning (Y/N)!” He said as he gave you the brightest smile ever. 
“Good morning San.” You said as you smiled back. 
“Did you see we get partners today?” He asked as he put his phone down.
“I did. Do you think we get to pick who we partner with?” You asked as you pulled out the materials you would need.
“I hope we do. I defiantly want to be partners with you.”
You give him a wide smile as you face the front of the class when the teacher walks in. You keep hoping that you get to choose your partners but you have a feeling in your gut that your wrong. The teacher soon started to talk about the project when it got to the part about partners. You made eye contact with San and crossed your fingers under the table. 
“I will be choosing who you get to be partners with. This is to make sure that you get along with all of your classmates.” Was all you heard the teacher say before you zoned out and started to fear the worst. 
After everything for the project was discussed the teacher started to list off the partners. San got paired with someone named Mingi and you cried on the inside as this meant one thing. 
“(Y/N) you will be paired with Yunho.” The teacher said as you made eye contact with San.
You told San about what happened with Yunho shortly after you started to hang out with him. He could sense how uncomfortable you were going to be and grabbed your hand under the table. 
“We’ll talk to the teacher after class. I’ll fight to switch (Y/N).” San whispered and squeezed your hand slightly. 
You squeezed back before focusing on the teacher once again as a distraction to what you just heard. You must have zoned out again because the next thing you know is San was squeezing your hand and the class was over. 
“Let’s go (Y/N).” He said as he let go of your hand and grabbed his stuff. 
You quickly packed up your stuff and grabbed your backpack before following San to the front of the room. You stopped in front of the desk and waited for the teacher to turn around.
“Can I help you two?” She asked as she turned around. 
“We were wondering if we could switch partners for the project?” San asked with a small smile on his face. 
“Why do you need to switch?”
“(Y/N) has some bad history with who they were partnered with and needs to switch with me. Or have them switch so we can be partners.” 
“I’m sorry but no matter how bad the history is I noticed you don’t talk to him at all and you need to have a good relationship with all of your classmates in this class. You will need to put whatever it is behind you and work together.” 
You nodded sadly as you started to walk out of the classroom wanting nothing more than to go home and disappear. You could vaguely hear San trying to convince her to switch partners but you tuned it out as you walked out into the hallway. You weren’t paying attention to where you were walking and ended up walking into someone. As you looked up to apologize you realized who it was and all words got caught in your throat. It was Yunho.
“Sorry I didn’t mean to make you run into me but I just wanted to talk. That is if you’ll let me.” He sad as he looked at the floor. 
“Go ahead.” You said as you looked at him. 
“I know you’re not happy being partners but I would still like to get a good grade on this project. If you don’t want to work on it outside of class that’s fine with me I can understand that. I’ll even do most of the work if you want but I do want to say one thing.” He said as he looked you in the eyes waiting for you to say something. 
“What?” You asked as you held eye contact. 
You never really noticed how beautiful he was. Was he always this good looking or is it just your brain messing with you. You can’t have feelings for him not after what he did to you. 
“I wanted to apologize for what I did to you in high school and for what happened on the first day. I didn’t mean for you to lose your friends or feel like you couldn’t open up to anyone. I promise you I would never want that to happen to anyone.” He said as he broke eye contact. 
He sounded sincere so you thought about what he said. You needed to think about it some more but right now you needed to say something. 
“I don’t forgive you right now and I don’t know if I ever will but I will work with you on this project. I will think about meeting outside of class and give you an answer when class meets again.” You said as you made eye contact with him again. 
This time you noticed how pretty his eyes were but you quickly shook your head and walked out of the building. You waited on the bench just outside the building for San so you could talk about all of this. The entire time you couldn’t get your mind off of Yunho. You don’t know why out of all times you needed to start thinking about how beautiful his eyes were or how beautiful he was in general. You guessed it was because you never really got to notice in high school. You were just trying to find a way to survive the day and get through the rest of the year without breaking down. 
“(Y/N), earth to (Y/N).” You heard someone say and you looked up to see San standing in front of you.
“Sorry guess I got lost in thought.” You said as you stood up. 
“About what?”
“Yunho.” 
“Where you thinking about how to work on the project with him?”
“I guess you could say that.”
“You aren’t starting to forgive him are you?” San asked as he stopped walking.
“And what if I am? Is that so wrong?” You asked as you faced him.
“I guess not but why now after all this time?” He asked as he started walking again.
“He apologized to me in the hallway just after class. He told me if I didn’t want to meet up outside of class I didn’t have to. He also told me he would do most of the work if I wanted him to. I barely heard anything he said though.” You said as you followed after him.
You both reached your car and got in to start heading to your apartment. Your parents rented you an apartment so you didn’t have to stay in the dorms. All you had to do was keep it looking nice.
“What were you doing that made you not focus on what he was saying?” He asked as he buckled.
You stayed silent hoping he would leave it alone. As you started the car he let out a loud gasp and you jumped and looked at him. 
“You were staring at him weren’t you? Are you getting feeling for him?” 
“I don’t know. Maybe, but I don’t know why it had to happen now.”
“Maybe it’s because he apologized and you never got a chance to notice before. You were so focused on trying to avoid the teasing that you never really looked at him. It makes sense that you would start noticing him now. He isn’t teasing you anymore so you’re starting to notice different things about him.”
“Is it wrong to want more of a relationship than what we have now?” You ask as you pull into the parking lot and park the car. 
“Not really. If you want you can see if he want’s to be friends and move on from there.” He said as he got out of the car. 
You followed and started walking towards your apartment. You unlocked the door and dropped your backpack by the door and taking your shoes off. San did the same and went straight to the kitchen. You laughed as you watched him rummage around for something to eat. He let out a triumphant yell and walked back to the living room where you were sitting watching the TV. 
~Two weeks later~
It’s been two weeks since you’ve been paired up with Yunho and you have gotten closer. You agreed to forgive him and even became his friend. He was actually a really nice and sweet guy once you got to know him. You ended up doing really well on the project. Your teacher says that you two did the best and you smiled at Yunho when you found out. The feelings you have for Yunho started to grow more with everyday as you got to know him. You sorta wanted to be more than friends but you were sure that it was just you that wanted that. 
“(Y/N)!”
You heard someone call out and when you turned around you saw that it was Yunho. You smiled at him and stopped walking so he could catch up. It didn’t take long since he was so tall. 
“Hey Yunho.” You said with a smile on your face. 
“I was hoping to talk to you about something.” He said as he smiled at you. 
“Sure.” 
“Can we go somewhere more private? I don’t want people listening to our conversation.”
“Sure, why don’t we go back to my place to talk.” You said as you started to lead him to your car. 
“You sure you’re okay with me being there?” He asked as he followed. 
“If I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t have suggested it.” You said as you laughed a little.
Yunho stayed silent as you reached your car. You unlocked it and got in the driver seat before buckling and starting the car. You waited until Yunho was buckled before starting towards your apartment. This would be the first time you would have Yunho at your apartment but you felt really happy about it for some reason. 
Yunho was quiet the entire ride there and it was a little awkward so you ended up turning on some music. Once you parked the car you both got out and you lead him to your apartment. You unlocked the door and put your backpack down like you always do and slide your shoes off. You walked into the living room and when you sat down you noticed Yunho standing awkwardly by the door.
“You can come in further Yunho.” You said as you smiled at him. 
He shy smiled back before walking over and sitting next to you. 
“So what did you want to talk about?” You asked as you turned to face him. 
“I wanted to tell you the real reason behind what I did to you in high school. Only if you’re okay with it.” He said as he quickly made eye contact with you. 
“Go ahead.” You said with a little fear.
“When I first saw you I thought you were beautiful but I didn’t know how to talk to you without making a fool of myself. That then turned into some light teasing that soon lead to what went on for the rest of high school. I didn’t mean for it to go as far as it did but I really didn’t know how to not make a fool of myself when talking to you. I found a way but it wasn’t talking to you directly. I would write notes to you and put them in your locker before you showed up for school. I never signed them in fear of rejection. I just kept making your life worse while also giving you some happiness. I don’t expect you to believe any of this but it’s the truth.” He said without making eye contact. 
You started at him in disbelief now knowing that the letters that brought you so much happiness were from him. You quickly got up and ran to your room grabbing a small box and running back out. You sat back down and opened the box to reveal all of the letters you received. 
“I wanted to know who wrote these for so long that it drove me crazy. I didn’t want to go asking around school in fear it would get back to you and you would use it against me and drive him away as well.” You said as smiled at him.
“You kept all of them?” He asked as he gently grabbed one out. 
“Why wouldn’t I? They made me so happy that I would re-read them whenever I would have a really bad day. I’m so happy I know who wrote them now.” You said as you smiled the biggest smile. 
“I’m guessing it’s safe to guess that you feel the same?” He asked as he looked at you with a hopeful smile. 
“You would be right.” 
You watched as he gently took the box and placed it on the coffee table before turning to you and grabbing your hands. 
“Then (Y/N) will you be my girlfriend?” He asked. 
“Of course I will.” You said as you gave him the biggest smile ever. 
He pulled you forward and hugged you before pulling away. He looked at you with a smile of his own before leaning in and kissing you softly. You kissed back immediately and have never been happier. You both spent the rest of the day cuddled on the couch sharing a kiss every now and then. If he stayed the night than only the two of you knew. Until you showed up to class and San started screaming about how you guys were holding hands and he was wearing the same clothes as he was the day before. 
31 notes · View notes
woojinieemoved · 7 years ago
Text
alpaca boy saves the day ―
member: im youngmin || mxm
genre: fluff
writing type: paragraph
word count: 3.5k
summary: you’re forced on a blind group date by your friend and you run into trouble || college!au ;; warning : minor assault (nothing too bad really)
a/n: so i dont really remember everything i write so im reALLLL sorry if they kinda bad lol
my masterlist
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It was morning and you were sluggish from staying up finishing assignments for your classes. You got up from your bed doing your usual morning routines so that you didn’t look like hell and looked into the mirror satisfied with your work. Before leaving your apartment, you grabbed all of your things you needed for today’s lectures and headed off for college, locking your door behind you. Since it was still morning, the weather was still cool to where it felt nice on your skin, but you frowned at the thought of it reaching high temperatures later in the day. You arrive at the bus stop, the bus getting there a couple minutes after you do. You recognize a couple of people already in the bus, but they weren’t really acquaintances of yours so you found a seat by yourself and listened to music on the ride there, looking through social media.
Time passes by and the bus stops near the college and you get up to get out of the bus and other college students that were in the bus did as well. Your earbuds were still playing music as you were walking towards the college, nearing the entrance when you felt someone jump on your back. You quickly turned your head to see your friend Yoojung and you pulled out one of your earbuds.
 “Hi Y/N!!!” she said excitedly and jumped off of your back and started walking beside you. You smile to see your happy friend and pause your music, putting your phone and earbuds back into your bag.
 “Hey Yoojung. Glad to see you’re still your happy self.” you say and nudge her a little. A voice calls for the two of you from a distance and you both turn to see your other friend Somi running towards you. “Y/N!! Yojung!! Wait for me!!” she yelled, huffing as she ran towards you guys and once she caught up with you, she bent down to catch her breath, holding onto Yoojung's shoulder. You and Yoojung greet the friend catching her breath and Yojung helps her up with her arm, the three of you heading off to the first class that you have together.
The lecture ends and you sigh, stretching your arms off, popping your back and a little bit of your fingers after sitting and writing for so long. “Y/N are you free tonight?” Somi asks you as you’re putting your stuff back in your bag. “Yeah.. Why?” You were suspicious of what Somi was gonna make you do this time because she always forced you along with her and the rest of the group to go places. 
“Well I already tried asking other people, but they weren’t free, so I was wondering if you could come on this blind group date with us.” She said with a smile and making that same begging puppy face. You sighed and looked at her with a frown on your face. “Please please please!!!” she begged, clapping her hands together and bowing, waiting for your response. You just rolled your eyes and smacked her head lightly. “Fine.” 
To be honest, you only agreed to these things to look over her in case she or any of your other friends were to get into any trouble. She quickly lifted her head up ignoring that you hit her and hugged you tightly saying, “Aah thank you!!”
“Who’s even going to this thing anyways?” you ask while waiting for Somi and Yoojung to gather their things too. “Some girls from the other class” Yoojung replied, pulling out a small mirror to check if her makeup still looked nice.
 “Do you know any of the guys that are going?” Somi looked up at you and smirked a little. “Why? Are you actually interested in dating someone Y/N?” she teased and poked at your arm softly, giggling. You brush off her comment and roll your eyes again.
 “Not at all. I’m just curious since you basically force me to go to these kinds of things.” you asserted being more concerned what kinds of guys were going to this group date. “Hmmmm well I think some of Donghyun’s friends are going. Oh! Some of Ong’s friends are coming too.” Somi responds finally getting all of her stuff together.
“Donghyun and Ong’s friends? Hmm. I don’t think I know all of them too well,” you thought to yourself, trying to figure out who all of their friends are.
“Are you sure all of them aren’t idiots? Especially being friends with Donghyun and Ong.” you say, your comment making both Somi and Yoojung laugh. 
“Not all of them are like that! I’m pretty sure some of them are actually nice in a non-goofy way. I think.” Yoojung adds, ending up with a puzzled look on her face. She snaps her finger and points at you.
“There’s Im Youngmin!” You stood there looking confused and looked up trying to figure out who that is. “Im… Youngmin…?” you say slowly still trying to figure out who it was. Yoojung spun you around and got close to you, pointing to a dark red-haired boy standing in a small group of guys.
 “That one. The one with the reddish hair.” she whispered discreetly pointing her finger. “Yah Y/N how do you not know who Youngmin is? He’s in your class” Somi said and you just shrugged. You didn’t pay that much attention to who was in your class, but as you look at the red haired boy, small memories of seeing him in the class start to come back to you. 
“Ohhh… Don’t you guys call him an alpaca boy?” you say, laughing a little at the cute nickname. “Shhh!” Somi clamps her hand over your mouth. “You said that really loud you know!” All three of you glance over to where Youngmin was standing seeing if he heard what you said. Thankfully, he didn’t hear you and he seemed to look unbothered, continuing to talk to his group of friends. Even though you knew he didn’t hear you, you blush a little because you felt flustered.
“Woops. Let’s get out of here before we do anything else dumb” You say and hold onto Somi and Yoojung's hand, leading the way out of the classroom passing by Youngmin and his friends. You didn’t know, but Youngmin glanced at you as you left the classroom and smirked to himself. “Alpaca boy? Seriously...:” he thinks and continues with the conversation he was having. 
“Hey aren’t those three going to the group date tonight?” one of the guys in the group says, tippy-toeing a bit to see the three of you leave the classroom. “They aren’t that bad looking.” the same guy says and smiles. “Don’t be a creep already. Keep that in you.” Donghyun says and smacks his arm. The group laughs at them and they all leave the classroom a couple minutes later to their next classes.
Later into the day after all of your classes:
You feel a pair of hands on your shoulders and you jump a little. “Pffft. Hi Y/N. Are you prepared for the group date?” It was Somi along with a couple more girls who you assume were also going to this group date. You got up and nodded at her with a small smile on your face. 
“Yeah. Let’s go. Where’s Yoojung?” you say trying to find her in the group of people behind Somi. “She’s already outside waiting for us along with some other girls. We’re gonna meet the guys at the restaurant so hurry up!” she said tugging at your arm and linking hers with yours. You’re a bit hesitant about tonight because you don’t know if how things will end up, but you calm yourself by convincing yourself to try to have a good time.
You and the group of girls see the other group of guys waiting outside the restaurant and Somi calls out for them. “Hey guys! We’re here!” she yells and most of the guys turn around and check out the group of girls. You were relieved you brought some of your makeup in your bag so that you could freshen up a bit before coming and you started to study the group of guys, seeing who came. You could recognize some of Ong’s friends and Ong himself, of course being loud as usual. 
You spot Im Youngmin standing next to Donghyun, easily seeing him stand out with his red hair. Not realizing you’ve been staring at him for a long time, he glances up and you meet eyes with him. Immediately flustered, you look away and follow Somi into the restaurant. This kind of restaurant had big rooms depending how many people were there and there were low tables and you would sit on pillows.
Everyone got inside the room they reserved, squeezing everyone together. Music was playing in the back and there was a big tv hanging on one side of the wall playing a sports channel. You look around to try to find Somi and Yoojung but they were talking to a guy already, smiling and laughing at whatever they were talking about. You seated yourself near the corner, looking around at everyone already warming up to each other. 
“Hey y/n. You look like a loner already.” A voice said behind you. You turned around and looked up with a slightly annoyed face already recognizing the voice. “Shut up Donghyun. It’s not like I even wanted to be here” You said looking up at him and smacking his leg. He laughed and ruffled your hair, walking away to go sit down. You watch and see the familiar red hair boy again following him and then seeing him get slapped in the arm by Donghyun telling him to sit somewhere else. You laugh a little to yourself and looking away when he came towards your direction. He ends up sitting on the other side of the table, a couple seats away and you felt sort of relieved, yet disappointed. 
Some other guy sits down next to you and strikes up a conversation, introducing himself and all that. The party goes on and everyone is drinking and eating food. You glance over to try to see how much Somi and Yoojung have drinken and checking if they were drunk or not. Ong was making the party real lively, making jokes and having everyone play games. The guy that was sitting next to you was still talking to you, mainly talking about himself, trying to show off to you. You weren’t really that interested in him but some of the stories he told were a bit funny so that kept you occupied. 
The thing that was bothering you the most was that you always end up finding yourself looking at Youngmin, noticing little actions and behaviors, learning little bits about him. Every time you feel like he was about to look in your direction, you would look up and pretend you were watching the tv or you would look down to take a sip of your drink (which wasn’t alcohol because you wanted to stay sober in case Somi or Yoojung got drunk). 
After the date goes on, you find yourself actually having fun, laughing at whatever dumb thing Ong would start up with his friends, occasionally having a little bit of alcohol to loosen up a bit. You find that you needed to use the restroom and you get up, walking out of the room to find a bathroom.
Youngmin purposely chose a seat that wasn’t too far or too close to where you were sitting, observing you as well. He notices throughout the time that you would also look at him and he thought that it was cute that you sneaked looks at him. Ever since he noticed you call him alpaca boy out loud, he’s been keeping an eye on you since. He observed your behavior, smiling at how you would always pull some of your hair behind your ear and how you would cover your mouth sometimes whenever you started laughing, appreciating the moments when you don’t cover it. He was drinking some of his beer when he noticed at the corner of his eye that you got up and left the room. 
He looked around to see if anyone noticed if you left and even glanced at the guy that sat next to you to see if he even noticed. The guy was actually chatting up this other girl and Youngmin frowned at the fact that he switched girls so quickly. He waiting a little bit before getting up from his spot to leave the room as well. 
“Youngmin where are you going?” one of the guys asked, looking up at him as he adjusted his clothing. “Bathroom.” quickly replying and left the rowdy room full of college students.
You were done using the toilet and was just touching yourself up with makeup before leaving the bathroom. You grabbed your phone out of your bag just to scroll through social media for a bit as you exited the bathroom, suddenly running into someone in front of you. 
“Ah, I’m sorry-” You were cut off by the person you ran into. He seemed completely intoxicated, his clothes looking a bit rustled up as well. You knew exactly what kind of person you just run into and there were basically multiples of him, his other friends just as drunk as him. 
“Hah? Little lady watch where you’re going!” he yelled and grabbed your wrist. “Hey this chick isn’t that bad looking.” One of the other guys beside him said, eyeing your whole body. You glared at him and looked at the person who grabbed your wrist. 
“Can you please let me go?” You ask politely, yet sternly, keeping a dead stare into his. The man scoffs and looks at his other buddies. “You’re gonna have some fun with us little lady. Isn’t that right guys?” He said with a smirk, his friends agreeing with him and looking at you. 
You felt really disgusted being looked at these people and you tried to figure out what you should do to escape the situation. Just before you were about to let out a shriek, you hear someone yell from behind them. They all turn around and you see Youngmin standing there with an angry look on his face. Your eyes widen a little seeing him and you look up at the drunkards who were harassing you.
“Let go of her. Now.” Youngmin said with a stern voice, looking dead serious. You saw that his fists were clenched tightly, seeing the muscles of his arm and hand tense up and the little veins that popped up. 
He walked towards you guys and grabbed the wrist the drunk guy was holding and brought you close to him with his arms around you. You blushed a little at the swift action and looked up at him confused. You honestly thought that being hugged by him felt so nice. You could feel his warm arm around you and you could smell his cologne, the smell getting stronger as he brought him closer to you. 
“Who the hell are you? We were just gonna have some fun with her until you came over here and ruined it!” the man yells, his face getting even more red than before from anger. “I’m her boyfriend. You obviously don’t know how to handle women properly.” Youngmin said, holding you tightly. 
“Boyfriend??? What the hell is he saying?” you think, panicking in your mind, but you just go along with what was happening. You look to the side to see a worker of the restaurant comes and sees the commotion going on and separated the drunk men and the two of you, kicking out the men for causing a disturbance and apologizing to you and Youngmin.
After that commotion settled down, you sighed and ruffled your head a little bit. “Seriously… What was all of that commotion for… “ you said and leaned against the wall, closing your eyes. The event replayed in your mind, still feeling disgusted by the man that grabbed you and the other ones looking at your body. 
“Hey, are you okay?” Youngmin says and scratches the back of his head looking a bit nervous. “Sorry for uh, grabbing you and saying that I was your boyfriend. I saw that you were getting harassed by them and I didn’t know what else to say.” He chuckled with a shy smile, looking at you. You stand up straight and brought your hands close together and started fiddling with them. “Oh, yeah. Thank you for helping me..” you say and start you blush when you remember him bringing you close to him.
There was an awkward silence for a couple of seconds until Youngmin said something. “Y/l/n/ y/n/, right?” You look up at the red haired boy and nod, smiling a little at the fact that he knew what your name was. 
“I’m Im Youngmin. This was a weird first meeting, but it’s nice to meet you.” he said with a big smile, the corners of his eyes creasing a little bit. “Should we go back to the room?” he said and pointed down the hall with his thumb, looking at you for your response. 
“Y-yeah. People might think something weird might’ve happened after been gone for so long.” you stutter and start to walk slowly. “They’re all probably distracted with whatever Ong or Hyunbin is doing. They’re both idiots but they really know how to grab attention.” Youngmin laughs a little and looks down at you. 
“Pppft yeah. You’re right.” you laugh and look up to see him staring at you. This time he didn’t stop looking at you and you both blush, turning away once you got to the door of the room. You both could already hear Ong doing a loud announcer's voice and you rolled your eyes, opening the door. Luckily, everyone’s attention was fixated on Ong and you both sneak back onto your seats. Youngmin ends up sitting next to you and you both talk the night away.
The group date ends with a bunch of drunk people and others hanging onto others. It looks like Somi and Yoojung weren’t completely trashed and that they could handle getting home by themselves. You walk out of the building with Youngmin tagging beside you. 
“So… y/n. Is it okay if I get your number?” Youngmin says shyly, trying to look you in the eyes again but keeps looking away. You could see under the street light that his face was a bit flushed and you smiled. 
“Alright. Bring out your phone and I’ll type it in for you.” You say and watched as Youngmin grew a huge smile on his face and scrambled to pull his phone out. You receive a text from him to check if the number worked and you snuck a photo of him to use as his contact photo. He ends up doing the same, sneaking a picture to set it as your contact photo and smiles seeing that you look cute even under this street lamp lighting. 
He waits with you until you grab a taxi home, his reasoning being “What if you end up getting involved with guys like that again? It’s dangerous to stay alone y’know.” You end up talking even more before your taxi arrived and you felt a little sad that it arrived so early. Youngmin waves to you as you get into the car, smiling and pointing at his phone signaling that he would text you. You nod and give him a final wave goodbye and the taxi drives away from the restaurant, dropping you off at home where you collapsed onto your bed being exhausted from this whole day. But being exhausted didn’t stop you from not texting Youngmin all night, exchanging funny stories and learning more about each other.
Somi texted you asking if you actually hooked up with anyone at the group date and you tell her everything that happened with Youngmin, causing her to spam you with super happy texts and congratulating you. The next day when you get to the college, you see Youngmin standing near the entrance looking around and his face brightens up when he finally sees you. He waves and waits for you to catch up to him. 
“Youngmin? Why are you waiting for me at the entrance?” You ask while you both start to walk inside and towards the lecture that you have together. 
“You favorite alpaca boy just wanted to see their new favorite person.” He said and ended up covering his face in embarrassment, his cheeks and ears flushing red. You burst out laughing and you start blushing as well at his comment. Somi and Yoojung were watching from afar, basically becoming you and Youngmin’s #1 fans and teased you about him in the group chat that you guys were in. Eventually, Youngmin gathers the courage to ask you out, doing what he called was his alpaca dance, ending it with heart, trying not to collapse in embarrassment. You clapped at his little performance and kept calling him cute, running up to him and hugging him accepting his confession. You become a happy couple, going on dates often and texting nonstop, the two of you embracing every single thing about each other.
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rosekun25 · 7 years ago
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Fourteen Reasons why.
 April 9th, 2017
Dear Tumblr Diary, 
I’m watching “Thirteen Reasons Why.” 
I haven’t read the books since middle school. But my cousin from my Dad’s side of the family sent me the book I think a year ago.  Life always has a way of foreshadowing. I swear it does.
Anyway I’m reading the book too, putting off getting my food handler’s card because fuck that shit. 
Anyway Im watching this and its kind of triggering. I havent watched the part where she kills herself but I imagine I’ve seen worse. 
There’s a video I’ve seen Here’s a link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_PdYb0EL-Y
Anyway so far that part has hit me the most. 
I mean, It has. After I got out of the hospital nobody asked me if I was okay. I had to lie. I lied about everything so I wouldnt get sent away longer than they needed me to be away. 
I lied and said It was because I missed my great grandma instead of telling them it was because my world had shattered and nobody could hurt me anymore. 
I lied about the pills. I took 96. Well thats now many were in the bottle. I told them I didnt know how many I’d taken. I just lied lied lied lied lied. I didnt tell anybody why I did it. 
aTLEAST Until they couldnt send me away anymore. 
So here are fourteen reasons why I wanted to kill myself 
14. I felt like I’d do it sooner or later. 
I mean it was really weird. I’ve had depression for most of my earlier childhood. I remember not thinking I’d make it to 20. But here I am. I remember wanting to get married and have children but I didn’t actually think I would live long enough to actually do it. I mean I didn’t think I’d finish High School. 
13. I wasn’t beautiful. 
At least I didn’t think I was. I thought pretty girls were 100 pounds, blonde and didn’t have to worry about anything except which husband they wanted.  I guess I was sort of insecure. But not in the sense that I thought I was ugly. Just in the sense that I wasnt  beautiful. 
12. I was starving myself.
Well I don’t really remember this part. I just remember I was really really hungry. The doctors there said I hadn’t eaten for a month. But Im not sure that’s accurate. I mean I must have eaten at some point. I remember I drank tea.  But anyway. I guess i was displaying “Anorexic tenancies” or whatever I was half asleep I didn’t listen.
11. I wanted to die. (duh)
But it wasn’t in the sense of me actually wanting to die.  I mean when you’re young you learn about the circle of life, you watch ‘Lion King.’ Mufasa dies and you learn you wont be around for ever. I guess I just ’ wanted to hurry up and do what I was supposed to. 
10. At the time, my life sucked dick. 
I remember it. I was horribly depressed and doing my best to hide it. I remember I wanted nothing more than to just be held like a baby and told everything was going to be alright. But it wasn’t. There was a point in my life where I kept everything to myself. Everything. Even stupid shit like “Where do you want to eat?” or “Are you hungry?”. I just felt like I had to. Keep everyone safe, dont let anybody know you’re suffering sort of thing. 
Anyway my life sucked dick, because I was always hungry never sleeping and I was overworked. I also was verbally abused at my job. To the point where I would want to cry whenever I walked in the store. But more on that some other time. 
I also hated T or  C. If Im going back there. Im going back in a body bag. 
My Home life also sucked dick. I remember not having hotwater in the bathroom. I remember being cold every night because they refused to pay more money to turn up the thermostat. If I wasnt cold. I was so Hot. There were ants everywhere. On my clothes. In the kitchen. EVERYWHERE. I wasnt allowed to leave my house either. I couldnt just get up and go I wasnt allowed to leave except for school and work. I couldnt leave and it drove me fucking mad.  I didnt have much food to eat, If there was food it was all gobbled up by my fat ass Grandfather who liked to steal my things. I still dont know what he did with most of it. The dryer didnt work either so I’d have to go to school in wet clothes that were freezing. I hated it. Oh and not to mention every morning I’d wake up to screaming. Always screaming. Nobody could ever say “Good Morning Rose, you’ve to wake up now.” No. They were too busy screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming, 
9. I was so tired of everything. 
I was. Really. I still kind of am. Im tired of having to work all the time and having no money. I was tired of waking up every day and going to a school. I feel like I would have liked school better if I didnt have to wake up early and put up with all of that bullshit. 
The bullshit I am tired of here has literally went from 95% to maybe about 15%  Professors are honest with me, My coworkers all do their jobs and I dont get in trouble if they don’t. Really Imagine, getting in trouble because one of your coworkers didnt do their job right. 
The only bullshit I have to deal with is making sure I have enough hours. Which if you ask me isnt a biggie, also I make enough to take care of myself. Which is a lot better than where I was before. 
8. I was going insane. 
Now I know what you’re thinking “Omg, yeah sure whatever Rose. Everybody on Facebook likes to pretend they’re crazy for attention, Change your picture to Joker and Harley just to add edginess. 
But no. It was stuff I dont want to dicuss with you. I had horrible dreams and I wanted to do some horrible things. In a way, I honestly thought if I killed myself I would save everyone.  I still dont remember what I wanted to save them from. 
7. I didnt have any friends. 
Now again I know what you’re thinking, “This bitch is tripping. She won Homecoming Duchess and Princess at the last dance!” (  Side Note: I also went on to win Prom Queen. But Everybody voted for me because I wasn’t allowed to run for homecoming queen because I tried to kill myself in the Bathroom.) 
I didnt have a Best friend. I didnt have somebody who hung out with me or came to my house specifically to play with me. I worked too much or somebody who ate lunch with me because they wanted to and not because I’d integrated into their little group because one of the members felt sorry for me and wanted to be my friend again. 
I knew a lot of people. But I was fiery, Passionate and emotional. People were afraid of that. Either that, or they didnt care enough to try and understand it. 
6. I was suffering from an unDiagnosed Mental illness 
It was Borderline Personality Disorder.  It was making me crazy. 
I still dont understand what it means. 
I know it means. 
But I dont understand it. 
5. I missed my Daddy. 
There. I said it. I FUCKING SAID IT. 
In my family, I was supposed to pretend he didnt exist. We all were. We didnt have Dads. We were just born. You know i didnt accept my Step Dad until My Dad stopped coming to see me. But what does that matter? I mean I wasNT  A BOY. HE DIDNT FUCKING WANT A GIRL. HE PROBABLY HAS 80 BILLION FUCKING DAUGHTERS! HE DOESNT NEED ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!!!!
But how am I going to forget the man who hated it when I cried? The man who bought me all of these presents because he knew he was never going to see me ever again. The man who bought me my first Barbie Car, my Hamtaro doll and my pretty Amethyst Birth Stone Barbie. All because he fucking knew he was never going to see me again. 
I havent seen him since I was two.  But I remember waking up in my hospital bed with Leslie telling him he had to talk to me because the doctors said they didnt know if I’d make it. I heard my auntie tell him in spanish and then he said “I dont talk to anyone who isnt blood.” and I wished I would have died again and again and again. 
4. I wasnt afraid to die. 
I mean honestly who is? Im Catholic now. I understand its the circle of life. Ive seen Lion King. But I honestly wasnt afraid to die. 
Here’s my philosphy on Religion and Death and everything 
If you’re a buddist and you die. You go do Buddist stuff. Buddist heaven, Buddist Hell. 
If you’re Jewish and you die. You go to Jewish Heaven because there isnt a hell. 
I know in church they tell you not to believe in other gods. But God mentions in the Holy Bible several times. So Meh. 
But I wasnt afraid to die. Im pretty sure my life had been clean and the only sins I really had were Hating my parents and Premarital sex. God wouldnt send me to hell for that. So I thought I’d go to heaven and party with Kurt Cobain
Because when a kid with Cancer dies, God doesnt send them to hell for dying of Cancer. So why would he send me to hell for succumbing to my depression? 
I mean atleast even if He was the God I think he is. 
3. By this point I was honestly sure nobody cared. 
The English teacher who carried me to the ambulance cared. I’m sure of that. 
But I mean nobody cared. I remember coming home to no food in the refrigerator and thinking “Oh well they’re making it easier for me now.” I remember nobody ever asking how I was.  I remember feeling numb I remember waking up that morning and deciding I was going to give life one last Chance. I’d missed the bus that morning and I had to call my  Grandmère to give me a ride to school because My Mother wouldnt teach me how to drive because she didnt want me to run off with my boyfriend and be happy. 
Because I guess bragging rights about your kids going to college are more important than your kids actually being happy. I’ll remember that when I have kids. If I live to have kids at least. 
Anyway I remember forgetting to take the pills out of my backpack. Im sure there’s an alternate universe somewhere where I did take them out of my backpack and I just went home early that day instead of killing myself in the bathroom. But hey what about the alternate universe where Hitler cured Cancer?
Nobody cared. Thats the point. Obviously if nobody noticed I was starving myself. If nobody noticed any of the signs that I displayed. 
But of course they all showed up to the hospital and cried crocodile tears. Then they yelled at me again as soon as I woke up. 
2. My life was over. 
“But you were accepted into NMSU! You were graduating Highschool! You had your whole life ahead of you!!!”
Did anybody ever think for just a second that I didnt want any of that? Honestly! Everybody was so proud. Nobody stopped and asked me if thats what I wanted to do. Because it sure as hell wasnt. I didnt want to go to college. Twelve fucking years of a system that made me kill myself in the Bathroom and you wanted me to do  eight more years?!  I wanted to get married and have babies. But I had to. You understand. I had to. I couldnt be like my sister. I couldnt stay in Highschool forever. I had to go to school because Men are useless now and I couldnt just get married out of highschool because as soon as they leave you’re going to need to take care of yourself! But I didnt want that. I wanted to get married. I wanted to have kids. 
1. Chance left.
Honestly this was it. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I could see it coming though. Yeah, I made fake accounts to try and talk to him. Yeah I was a thirsty hoe (Symptom of BPD btw). Yeah I kind of texted him until right before I did it. I mean I was 18 of course I was obsessed. He cared. He would kiss me goodnight, He would try to get me to eat but I never would. I wanted to be pretty for him. I wanted him to love me. He did for a moment. You know love is like a drug, A drug that makes you happy every day of your life. Even if all you do is fight. Maybe its because I’d never loved anybody before him. Not even my Mother.  When I lost that happy bubbly warmth. I wanted it back. I was so desperate to get it back. I didnt notice. I didnt notice all the terrible things that happened. I looked over all of the mean words, and abusive flags. None of those mattered, as long as I got that feeling of being warm, loved, safe, and protected. Because it made me want to live. If I couldnt live. I wanted to die. I wanted to die and be with that feeling forever. 
Maybe things would have changed if I had realize what a fucking scum bag he was earlier. 
Am I still Suicidal? Yes.
You cant turn it on/off contrary to the belief of everyone around me. I’ve been suicidal since I was a little girl. But will I do it again? I cant promise I wont.  
 Fourteen Reasons why  I want to live. 
14. I’m happy now. 
I dont know if I could consider this as happy as I want to be, I mean Im still single. I have no children. But I’m happy. I dont have all the money in the world but I can go get Starbucks. I can go out and eat If I want to and that makes me so happy. It makes me so happy to have access to food. 
13. I love my apartment. 
I love my apartment. I love everything about it. I do. Except the rent payment lol. I love that I can literally do whatever I want in this little one bedroom place. I love it. I love keeping it clean, I love putting up whatever I want on the walls and I love love love it so much. Im so warm and happy and there is always food here. 
12. I love where I live. 
I love my town. Its big, its bright and i can get whatever I need to. I can go to walmart again whenever I want and I dont have to beg anybody to take me through the drive through or pay anybody to take me to the mall. I can go see movies and see the world. I love the world. I love the grass and the trees and the warmth of the sun. I can sit on my porch for hours, I can watch the rain, I can go outside. I CAN GO OUTSIDE!!!! 
11. I love being free. My freedom is my most precious possession, I don't want to die if I can be free. 
 10. I don't want to die until I find that person. My whole life I've been told There's a soul mate for everyone. When I think about suicide. I think about being dead, in a way, Death was freedom for me. But part of me doesn't want to leave that person alone. I can't. If He was made for me . Then he's like ME and if he is then I don't want to leave him alone. 
9. I have food. 
I know what you’re thinking “Whatever, I have a frozen Dinner in the fridge. Does that make me not suicidal?”
I have food to eat. Like I do. I dont have to scrounge around my house for a packet of Ramen or hiding a can of soup under my bed and praying it would be there when I woke up. I can wake up and eat whatever I want. I can make dinner and sometimes I just stare at all of the food in my refrigerator and smile. 
Side note, It’s now May 12th, school is over. Im trying really hard to finish this. It’s triggering. Like, Hannah Baker, Everything she does. I can see myself in her.  I could deal with the books. I could deal with the books because I had borrowed my friend’s book and typed the alternate ending and stuck it in my book. I visualized it in my own way. Now seeing it. It’s triggering. Did anybody notice? Did anybody try to? 
What about when I did it? Did anybody think? Did anybody try and look after me. I mean nobody noticed me stop eating so I doubt anybody noticed me writing wills in my psychology class, or me writing my suicide note over and over again. 
The final draft only had a few words by the way and nobody read it. 
They didnt even read the instructions I left for them incase I survived and had to go to the hospital which is why I had to wear the same clothes I wore when i did it. Which absolutely sucked. But i was glad I was getting out of the mental hospital, so there’s that. 
I still dont understand why shit like this cant happen in real life. I dont understand how people can make people suffer so much emotionally that they think suicide is the only answer.
This is really hard to write. I have to think of reasons I want to live instead of reasons I want to die. That’s hard. I want to die. Im so sick of this. But I dont want to die. I want to live.  
In a sense, I really feel like Hannah Baker. Because She wanted to live, she wanted life and happiness but she just dies at the end. I wonder if that will happen to me? 
I’ve had people ask me if Im sure I should even be watching a show like this. But I have to. I have to finish it. 
I read the book I know what happens. But I have to finish it for myself. 
8. Kingdom Hearts III will come out (Eventually) 
I have found joy in video games once again. I mean. Ive always loved video games. But I was playing South Park Stick of Truth again and I liked it. I liked it a lot and I wanted to... I wanted to play it so much. 
I’m sure they have video games in heaven but i wonder do they have midnight release parties? Do they have endings that arent perfect?  
Im sure they do. But being alive for them is different. 
Eventually though. Kingdom Hearts III will come out. Eventually.  Ill get to play it. Maybe Ill get to play it with my grandchildren and teach them about Sora, and Kairi, and Riku. 
7. I want to be a Mother. 
Thats all I’ve ever wanted in life. Really. I just want to hold my baby and raise her/him. I dont want them to have to come home and wonder if there’s food to eat, or if the house is going to be warm or when Mom is going to come home.
I want to have children and teach them and give them love and warmth and make them safe and give them everything I never had in life.  Like love, and chances. Chances to make something of themselves in a way I never could. 
6. I want to live to be an annual passholder at Disney 
I mean I’ve been to Disneyland Nineteen times and this summer it will be 20.  But I want to be able to wake up one day, have the day off from work and ask my kids if they want to go to Disneyland instead of school. I want to go there and have a great time and not have to worry about school or work or depression or anything.
5. I really want to do my bucket list. 
I mean there’s lots of cool stuff on it. But I’m sure they have most of that in heaven. But  I want to do it before I die. Like I want to visit Euro Disney in person and hang out in France. I want to walk up and realize I’m going to see the Little Mermaid on Broadway tonight. I want to be able to tell everybody about what I’ve done and inspire them to do the same thing.
(Update: It’s June now. I have to finish it. I had to stop. It was getting bad again. Really bad. I’m ready now. I really am.)
4. I want to get married.
Honestly thats been my life goal since I was a baby. That and being a ballerina but appertanly my dreams dont matter enough for us to stay in a place I could actually achieve them. I want to have a big fancy wedding which will probably dumb down to me getting married at the court house which I am totally fine with. As long as I am officially married and we honeymoon at Disney. 
Jesus Chirst I cant do this. I really cant. I fucking cant. . .  Why? WHY am I here? Why did I live? It’s fucking impossible did you know that? Am I still alive? Am I dead? I wont fucking know! I’m so much happier now! I really am. But I cant do this. I fucking cant. Why? Why am I alive? Why did I live? SO I could pay bills for the rest of my life? I hate being broke. I hate not having any money. I spent 20 dollars today to go out to lunch and that was a luxury. I couldnt afford that. Especially with all these bills. Why? Why is it so expensive to live in a 3rd world country with Iphones? Why? I dont have a car I have to ride the bus everywhere and spend a billion dollars on fucking everything. WHY? Why? I hate this. I hate this so much. I hate having to be mad at myself for going to the mall and spening 11 dollars. ELEVEN FUCKING DOLLARS! I bought a keychain today. I bought a keychain today and I wasnt supposed to do that!  I love my apartment, I love it, I wont leave it unless I’m in a body bag or leaving with my husband, But i dont understand WHY?! Why? Why do they want everything I have? Everybody just wants money. Everything is just money money money money, do I Have enough? WIll it last? Will I be able to do something with it? Why do you want all of my money? I can barley afford to live and everybody wants to make it fucking harder than it already is!!!!!!!!!! I cant do this. I really want to die. But i really want to live. I really want to live. But i cant live. 
3. I want friends. . .
I want best friends. I want the kind of friends where you all can just hang out together and do stupid shit. I want inside joke kind of friends, I want the sort of friends that make fun of you but you know they dont mean it. I want a specific place for us to hang out and laugh and live. 
2. I want to be infinite. 
I dont mean immortal. I mean I want to do things. I want freedom. People have freedom given to them while others have to fight for it. I want to take a roadtrip. I want to eat at gas stations with somebody and travel and see the world. I’ve always wanted to see the world but i’ve been locked up in this FUCKING TOWER for so long and now i’m afraid to get out of it. I am afraid to live because I’ve never been able to live before! Why are people born free when I could not leave my house to get the mail? 
1. I want to experience love. 
I have never loved anybody. For a moment, I thought I loved Chance. But I realized, you cant love somebody who has never loved you. So i didnt love my Mother, or My sisters and brothers or my grandparents. That wasnt love. It was forced affection. Because when you love somebody you make sure they’re in the car before driving away and asking if they are. If you love someone you dont kick them out of your car. If you love somebody you offer to take them home instead of letting them sit in 32 degrees watching their spit freeze, while you let your family treat them like shit just like you did. 
But I want to experience love. All kinds of love. I want to know why people like it so much and why the feeling is so euphoric. I want to be held and treated like I am a treasure. Like I am worth something. 
Is that love? I will find out one day. I want this. Even if its the only thing I will have. I want it. 
~
I’m on the second to last episode now, 
I wonder if the author wanted us to feel bad for people we’ve slut shamed.  I wonder if we’re supposed to think about it that way. 
I dont know about you but I hate fake people who pretend they’ve killed themselves.  I mean I know its a cry for help. But I wish they would go and talk to somebody instead of insisting they sliced their wrists 80 times and got sent to the ER even though their wrists are scarless and havent look liked they were cut ever. 
My therapist once sent me to the ER because I told her I was feeling suicidial. 
I thought that was utter bullshit. 
Because all I had learned to do was lie. 
Why are you suicidal honey? *Sniff* My greAT Gran died and I miss her so much and I wish I could talk to her and hug her. Oh baby it’s gonna be okay, Derek she’s not suicidal get her out of here. 
See? Then at my next therapy session I had to lie to her and tell her I wasnt suicidal. Which was another lie. 
Anybody who has ever asked me about my Great Grandma Elisa knows I hated going to her house and I didnt like her. I’ve never liked her. She was so mean to me. She really was. 
But i cant say I cried crocodile tears at her funeral. Or when They woke me up and told me she wasnt breathing and I knew she was dead, and I cried in my sleep. Something I didnt do, and didnt start doing until it was getting really bad again. 
Isnt that funny though? How i learned to just lie to everybody instead of telling the truth? 
~
I’m on the last episode now. 
I cant make you believe how many times I had to stop this and step away for a moment. 
It was honestly too realistic. 
Like just the things she said 
“I decided to give life one more chance.” 
I remember thinking the exact same thing. 
and watching it blow it. 
Thats always how my emotions have been. 
Hannah is stealing razors now.
I remember the day I bought the sleeping pills specifically to kill myself.
I didnt tell my Mom that. I told her I was having trouble sleeping which was true. 
I remember telling kids I thought I was taking too much.
I remember pouring handfuls into my own hand and just staring at them. I thought they were really pretty.  
I remember sleeping in class because I’d take too many on purpose. 
I remember hanging up on 911 
I remember calling my ex boyfriend. 
I wondered what would happen if he would have answered. I really do. 
Probably nothing, 
I still would have done it. 
I remember swallowing handful after handful. 
I remember being carried to the office and hearing your voice in my head. 
I remember dying and being at peace.
I remember waking up and screaming and crying.
Because honestly. Suicide doesnt hurt. No. aside from me not being able to eat for a couple weeks without throwing up, or choking up tablets everytime I tried to take a pill. 
What hurt was waiting. I waited for life to get better. 
It didn’t.  
Hannah baker is going to slit her wrists,
I’m mad. This isnt the way it happened in the books. She swallowed pills.
ItsnotrealRosemaryitsnotrealItsnotevenhowithappendinthebooks
This is triggering. 
I reserve the right to skip this part.
I cant breathe. 
Okay, Okay. 
I dont fucking get why people say this show glorifies suicide. We are literally watching a girl die. The worst part is this is how actual people have done it. Oh my god. Oh my god there’s so much blood. 
Her parents, Oh my god. Okay that was so fake.
American Horror story did a better job. 
Which is probably why it kept me from killing myself. I watched Violet do it and it scared me. It scared me so I didnt do it. 
You know when I first read the books I guess I was really confused because I thought Mr Porter raped Hannah. I was like in 8th grade. 
Okay so Hannah Baker is still dead. The episode is over. 
How are they going to do season 2? 
I mean Tyler is Obviously going to shoot up the school and Alex tried to off himself. It’s Obvious Alex isnt going to die.  It’s Obvious Tyler isnt going to kill him. 
~
I liked watching this. 
I mean aside from it taking me two months to finish because,  well it kind of was triggering.
Side note:
I am not contemplating suicide please do not message me or call the cops. 
Also for anybody who is. 
National Suicide Prevention LifelineCall 
1-800-273-8255
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progressive liability and renters insurance quote
"progressive liability and renters insurance quote
progressive liability and renters insurance quote
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Would my auto insurance increase if I hit a careless pedestrian jaywalking on a private property? Here are the case facts: - 1. Pedestrian was hit by my car while crossing a road located within a private property (a community college) in Brampton, Ontario (Canada) 2. I was in no position to clearly see the pedestrian in advance as the pedestrian suddenly appeared from behind the huge pile of snow on the side of the road. The pedestrian was walking from the parking lot and came onto the road from a blind spot. 3. I was driving at 30kms/hrs and saw the pedestrian just before I hit the pedestrian. 4. The pedestrian was NOT using the designated pedestrian crosswalk but was jaywalking on the road in attempt to cross the road. 5. I applied brakes as soon as I saw the pedestrian on my way but the pedestrian got hit by the time finished applying the breaks. I think my car came in contact with the pedestrian when the car had almost stopped possibly causing the minimum impact. Pedestrian seemed to be all right (not injured) but was slightly in pain due to the hit as my car hit her in the thigh. She did not fall down and was still able to walk (but was crying due to the shock) 6. I called 911 (both cops and ambulance) and they didnt charge me with offence. 7. The Police Officer concluded that it was not my fault after he confirmed with the witnesses that I actually tried to stop the car and that the pedestrian was jaywalking and not using the pedestrian walk for cross the road. The cop mentioned that I would have been charged if I were not driving on a private property. The building security also concluded that I was not at fault. 8. The police accident report makes no mention of my fault. 9. The paramedics concluded that pedestrian was not injured and was all right but they took her to the hospital anyway (for check up since the pedestrian seemed to have some pain in the thigh) My question is  Although, I was not ticketed or charged, would MY INSURANCE GO UP? I have heard that Insurance companies are notorious and would hold you responsible anyways or may hold you partially at fault?""
Whats the price for transfering insurance?
Wanted to switch my insurance from my truck thats not running to one that is
How can I price/estimate what my car insurance payment will be if I don't currently have a car?
I live in New Jersey. I haven't EVER had my own car insurance although when I was in high school I was on my parents' insurance. I am a 28 year old female. Thanks all!!!
""When you rent a car, what happens if you get into an accident? Does your own insurance company?
cover your liability? Or will insurance automatically come with the car you rent? How does it work?
What does a full coverage insurance cover?
If my car was in an accident and i have a full coverage insurance plan what exactly does the insurance cover? The car was totalled and can no longer be used.
How much would my insurance go up if im 17 and was at fault for a car accident worth more then 750 dollars?
my family plan was about 3k every 6 months. The other car had about 3.4k worth of damage also. Also if i turn 18 will my insurance still become cheaper?
What is the best type of life insurance to purchase?
I know nothing about life insurance but I would like to buy some to assure me and my kids will be taken care of in the event my husband passes. He only has one 1 issue which is Rheumatoid arthritis, otherwise in good health. . Me and my husband are both close to 50 years old. What is the best insurance to purchase? I know that term insurance expires. Does that mean if you do not pass within the term you do not get any money back that you have paid into it?. Thinking about a 250.000 dollar policy. Thank you.""
How can i start selling life insurance at home and what type of license do i need?
Would i be able to start my own buisness online and localy selling another companys life insurance and setting up appointments what kind of license do i need to sell insurance and for my own buisness do i just selling life insurance for another company do i just need a llc license
Is the homeowners insurance higher in florida if you have a pool?
Is the homeowners insurance higher in florida if you have a pool?
California Lawyer Malpractice Insurance Requirements?
Does a lawyer in California have to get Malpractice Insurance in order to take clients? For example if a newly admitted lawyer wanted to do a simple will for a family friend, would they have to obtain insurance first or can they take the case, at their own peril, and collect a fee for it?""
How much is health insurance for a 55 yr old women??
i live in southern ca and we are looking on getting a affordable health insurance for my mother she is 55 yrs... around how much will we be expecting on paying mothly... and what good health insurances are recomended??
How can I get access to affordable US Health care as an American who lives in France?
It has been almost 2 years and I really feel like there is something not right with my health but the doctors in France aren't listening. I have swollen lymph nodes for over a year now. Some disappear, then reappear in different locations. And I am very fatigued and have itching behind my knees at night that wakes me up. Yet there is not a rash nor insect bite. It seems like the doctors in France rely strictly on complete blood counts for everything and if your blood tests are normal, then there is nothing wrong with you. I wonder if it would be the same in the US system, considering France was the winner of the WHO's Best Medical System in the World award. Shoudl I purchase an insurance plan on the web and seek treatment in the US?""
Cheap Car Insurance - Please Help?
Hello in June I will be 17 years old! Obviously like all 17 year old males I want a car! I'm not massively fussed about the car as long as it doesn't cost to much! Today I have been looking at cars such as; FIAT CINQUENCENTO Perodua Nippa EX and a few other cars bellow 1l I live in Northamptonshire and my postcode is NN1 *** on comparison websites i cant find insurance for less than 3500 when that is miles out of my price range! If anyone knows any insurance sites or extremely cheap cars to insure for 17 year olds then please reply to this. Any help will be much appreciated. Thanks
Need health insurance for my child
need health insurance for my child I have a child who lives with his mom and I need to buy health insurance for him, Im also moving o/s so I cannot get insurance though my work, does anyone know of any programs or discount insurance company I can go though.""
progressive liability and renters insurance quote
progressive liability and renters insurance quote
""You must have car insurance, question about that?""
Here in Utah, it is law that you must have car insurance. I'm wondering though, what if I borrow my father's car, and it is insured, but I am not an insured driver, how does this work? Is it fine as long as the car is insured? I might not be an insured driver but does that still fulfill the law? If not, why do people borrow cars all the time?""
Insurance on 2011 subaru STI?
I'm 19 sold my truck that had become a money pit and saved about 5 grand to put down on a new car. I make about $1950 a month at my job and have been there for a year. I came across a subaru Impreza STI for the price of $29000 only has 400 miles on the car and I can afford the payments per month (around $400) I'm just curious about insurance costs. I'm 19 been driving for 3 years no accidents and no tickets... What should I expect for insurance per month??(ballpark estimate) my insurance guy is not in til tomorrow just asking to see what you guys think
Where to get pregnancy insurance?
Please can someone tell me where to get pregnancy insurance? I am a UK citizen and will be spending the whole of 2010 in America (Boston). Thanks
Should Obama be impeached for saying you can keep your insurance?
Should Obama be impeached for saying you can keep your insurance?
What is the best (price and care) auto insurance for someone with a DUI?
So about 7 years ago I made a mistake and got a DUI. I realize it stays on your record for 10 years but there has to be decent full coverage insurance in San Francisco that does set me back almost $200 every month. Any suggestions?
Will auto insurance be cheaper If i'm on my parent's plan?
I'm 17. I graduated college early, so i'm now a sophomore in college. I have a job, where I make generally $600 a month. Not much but i'll be graduating soon so I can deal with it until I move out. Anyway, I'm having to buying my own car because the car my parents bought me is sadly a piece of crap and breaking down every other day. (06 suzuki, they should stick to making ATV's.) I'll be making $100 per month car payments until February, and i'll also be paying for my own insurance. It's complicated. The lowest quote I can find online is about $186 bucks, which I can't afford. I don't need full coverage, I can't afford it. And won't be able to for a while. If i'm on my mom's insurance plan, it should be quite a bit cheaper, right? I'll be 18 in a month but i've had 1 speeding ticket. The car i'm buying is an 02 Jeep liberty. Is it possible to be able to pay around $90-$130 under my mom's plan? Or is that just completely out of the question.""
Progressive will our insurance go up?
So my Dad has Progressive insurance. I drive one of his cars that is under his name on both the title and the insurance. I got my license revoked. I'm curious if his insurance will find out about it if my name is not on the insurance card. I'm not sure if he has me listed anywhere else on the insurance if that is even possible, all I have is the card and my name is nowhere on it. Basically I want to know if his insurance rates are going to go up because of me.""
""Thinking of buying Subaru Impreza WRX, What are upkeep/maintenece and servicing costs/?""
I am thinking of buying an impreza and have tried to find info online about servicing and upkeep costs of them. I have been looking at both 2.0 wrx 03-05 models and also the newer 2.5 wrx 55-07 model (havent decided which yet!!). I have an insurance quote fro around 750 for both and I am happy with this. I have seen a few cars that I like. One of which is an 03 reg 54,000 miles. the other is the newer model 06 reg done 54000 miles and another of the same model thats only done 45000 miles. Can anyone tell me what the maintenece costs would be on this with doing about 6000 miles a year? When would the next service be due and what are the likely costs of these? Regards""
""Car insurance, help please?""
I'm 18 years old & looking into buying a used 2011 nissan Altima from a dealer soon. My mom will be a cosigner for it & I was wondering if I would be able to insure that car under her name as the primary & me as an additional driver? Insurance rates are just too outrageous & unaffordable for my age & for new cars with full coverage so I'm really hoping that it would be possible for her to insure it since she'll be a cosigner. Thanks for all the help & answers, greatly appreciated!""
Which of the following medical expenses are deductible for AGI?
#NAME?
Where can i find some good health insurance?
i live in california bay area i'm just wondering if theres any good insurance out there i'm 19 and i just don't feel safe without health insurance and how do i know if it's a good or crappy one please explain in details
Do I need to declare to my insurance company If I change my alloy wheels.?
It currently has the factory 16 alloy wheels on but 2 of them are buckled. I don't want to buy new ones the same as this seems to be a common problem with ford fiesta alloys so was thinking of replacing them with the same size alloys of a different brand. Do I have to declare this to my insurance company?
How much would car insurance be in boca raton fl?
i am a 21 female, toyota corolla s 2006, 31,000 miles ... how much would insurance be? i have a clean driving record... also my car is currently registered in PA .. how do i transfer my car and license to florida ?? ...""
""I need good, affordable health insurance. Any suggestions? Do any exist specifically for Nursing students?""
I already looked into StateFarm and they quoted me at near $200, and that's just way too much. I need something that's gonna be less than $100.""
Should i get 20 year term or a 30 year term life insurance?
My husband and I currently have a 20 year term life insurance policy. We are switching companies because we were paying too much at State Farm. I'm 30 and he is 33 and we are both in very good health. We have a 9 month old baby boy and our policies are for $500,000 each. The rate I'm getting is $45 for both of us for the 20 year term and $70 for both of us for the 30 year term. Which one should I go with?""
How can I make car insurance lower?
I have 6 points on my license at the moment, which everyone already knows has made my car insurance skyrocket. As points get taken off my license will the car insurance go down? If not does anyone have any advice on any kind of way I can make my insurance cheaper?""
Cheap car insurance for young male drivers?
where is the best place to get cheap car insurance for a young male driver??
What do you mean by car insurance quotes?
What do you mean by car insurance quotes?
Bmw 1992 insurance cost?
what is the insurance cost for 1992 bmw 352i???
Car insurance on a ROUSH.?
How much would it cost for a 17 year old, with no tickets and had never gotten into a wreak, to be covered on a 2007 mustang roush?""
Insurance cost for a 16 year old with a 1986 iroc camaro?
I'm 16 have a 1986 iroc camaro 350ci and i live in an average neighborhood in western ny i'm a male. any insurance guestimates? I'm gonna need to be on my own plan.
Should i have my g2 licence for sure to get my auto insurance?
I've my international driving permit and g1 license.... but when i try to get auto insurance quote in the internet... The results are not given,if i mention i have my international driving licence or G1 licence.... So this is making me wonder, only if i have g2 licence... its possible to get my car insurance in canada? ... Please help.""
My cousin's car got into an accident. How much would the insurance company cover?
My cousin had an accident a few weeks ago. He accidentally bumped his car in the rear of another car. The rear part of the other car is wrecked. The other car is covered by an insurance. How much would my cousin have to pay? Will he need to pay anything given that the car is insured? Please help, I don't know much about insurance and I want to help my cousin""
Car accident involving two parties with same insurance company?
Hi there, My dad was involved in a car accident where the other party was at fault in WA state. Both parties have same insurance company. The Insurance company deemed the car as a total loss and sent a check of $4000. Meanwhile my dad had to go to a doctor because his neck is super stiff. Did anyone have similar experiences? $4000 isn't enough for a new car, and they can't afford car payments at this time (my mom has was just laid of), should we get a lawyer to contact the insurance company to demand higher compensation? Thanks!""
What is the approx cost of car insurance ( group 18) for a teen driver? UK?
What is the approx cost of car insurance ( group 18) for a teen driver? UK?
progressive liability and renters insurance quote
progressive liability and renters insurance quote
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/wisconsin-insurance-health-katelyn-bolton/"
0 notes
adambstingus · 7 years ago
Text
Every Halloween, I Have A Story I Like To Tell
I liked Ben, I really did. I mean, he was a nice guy. We had some fun times together in college, messing around the dorm, going to parties, all the dumb shit that college guys do. He was cool and all, but he was a little pretentious. Well, I guess the word he used was artistic. He thought he was real smart, spent a lot of time trying to prove it to everyone. He had his own blog developed to film critiques not the big ones, though. Just little indie productions because nothing else was worth his time. When he got like that, he could be pretty insufferable.
Perhaps the most annoying thing that he did was performance art.
Now, I dont wanna be the guy who says that all performance art is dumb. But yeah, no, all performance art is dumb. Oh, look, youre on display painting a picture of Jesus from your own urine, how original and edgy! Maybe Im a little jaded, but it always seemed so contrived to me. Unfortunately, Ben really loved it. He thought there was something beautiful in art that was physically living and he devoted an embarrassing amount of time to it.
Anyway, I hung out with Ben a few times after college, but we mostly just met up to do some heavy drinking and maybe hit a strip club or two. He considered THAT performance art as well, which was just fine with me, it gave me an excuse to waste some ones. Since we didnt hang out very often, I had a bad feeling when he contacted me about a month before last Halloween.
He called me up at about seven in the morning on a Saturday, which is too early to even consider waking up, in my opinion. I answered in a daze and he started running his mouth like crazy, as though afraid that, if he didnt get it all out at once, he never would.
Mike, hey, Mikey, listen, buddy, I need your help, okay? Okay, okay, Ive got this idea for a performance and, well, its going to be , you know? So good! Its going down on Halloween. Can you come help? Look, Ill even pay you, man. Fifty dollars. So how bout it?
Now, Ive never cared much about Halloween one way or the other, and Im a pretty easy guy. Fifty dollars to probably just sit there and run a fog machine or some bullshit? For the right price, I could even pretend that I wanted to be there. Besides, what else are friends for?
A few days later, he gave me the details. To be honest, I was a little shocked when he sent the email. I know that performance art is intended to be edgy and can sometimes get a little dangerous, but this seemed downright negligent.
Mike:
Thanks for agreeing to do this for me! Ive talked to a few other people, but they werent really comfortable with it, for reasons youll probably be able to figure out. Of course, I understand if you want to back out, but I think you are probably the most reliable person I know. Its really not that big of a deal, Im sure youll agree.
As Im sure youve noticed, vampires have become very prominent in the media as of late. I say vampires because they are beginning to deviate so wildly from the traditional myths that they resemble forest fairies more than anything else. Altruistic? Sparkly? Whiny? Give me a break. We need more Dracula! We need more Carmilla! We need more death, destruction, and blood!
My performance will center on the theme of rebirthing the vampire. For the vampire to be reborn, he must first be buried. To turn peoples attentions back to the myths of old, I will be doing just that: I will be burying the vampire.
I have a group of viewers signed up already to participate in the performance, so you dont need to worry about that. Im going to plant a series of vampire-themed clues around town for them to follow. The clues should be pretty simple, and it will probably take no more than an hour to an hour-and-a-half for them to find me.
Here comes the somewhat controversial part. Essentially, for this performance to have any semblance of meaning, I need to be buried alive. Dont worry, its perfectly safe: I have a buddy from back home who is building me a coffin with a hole in the top. Ill be fixing it with a pipe that will stick an inch or two above the ground. That way, I wont run out of air. Ill also have a few necessities in the coffin in case something happens: food, water, and a flashlight.
Once they arrive at my grave which will be completely vampirized they will be provided with an array of shovels and will bring me back to life, a reincarnation of the true mythological history of vampires.
Here is where you come in. I need you to bury me. In addition, I need you to be my safety net: if they cant find me, if something goes wrong, if I become sick, I need you to be the one to get me out or call the police, if necessary. Ill also need you to decorate my grave, make it really creepy dont worry, Ill send you some blueprints.
I know this is a little stressful and it may take some time for you to decide, but, rest assured, this is a completely safe project. Theres no danger of suffocation and the coffin is sturdy, so its very unlikely that it will collapse. I really just need you there for support and the actual hard work of burying me.
What do you say? Id even be willing to up your pay to a hundred dollars, if thats what you need.
Let me know!
RIP,
Ben
I stared at my screen for a few minutes, completely dumbfounded.
Once I cut through all the bullshit about art and vampires and rebirth, what it came down to was death.
This guy actually wanted me to almost kill him.
I mean, sure, it probably WAS safe. But my mind went over the plan slowly. What if I couldnt get him out in time? One shovel and a pit of dirt wouldnt be a fast job. Furthermore, what if something happened to me?
Before making a decision, I sent him another email asking if he was really sure he was up for this. Of course he knew, he said. And then he said something that would always stick with me.
Art must be a little dangerous, my friend, for it to be real.
A month later, I found myself standing at the foot of a grave. It was six feet deep and perfectly rectangular. Sitting at the bottom was a tapered coffin covered with black lacquer, a white skull painted on the top. In the eye of the skull was a hole just big enough for the PVC pipe. Stenciled underneath was a line from Dracula: Denn die Todten reiten schnell.
I stood there like an idiot, waiting for Ben to show up.
In the end, Id decided to go along with his stupid gig. Ben was a stubborn bastard, and if I didnt help him, someone else would. At least, thats the justification I gave myself. But the real reason was that, deep inside my heart, his words were still echoing.
Id ended up doing a little more work than I had intended. For one, I had to place his stupid clues around the city. It wasnt hard work, but it took some time to get them all in the proper places. Luckily for Ben, they were pretty obvious clues. There was no need to worry that his participants would be unable to find him.
Ben had set up the grave and the coffin a few days prior to Halloween. It was out in the woods just on the outskirts of town, no chance of it being disturbed. Id tried to talk him out of burying it the whole six feet down.
If something happens and I need to get you out fast, what will I do? Cant you put it closer to the surface?
Ben had just shaken his head in exasperation. You just dont get it, do you? It has to be done right. Remember what I told you.
So I shrugged and let him mess around with whatever dumbassery would get him off.
I was just beginning to wonder if I should have brought more beer this promised to be a long night when Ben showed up.
I had to restrain my laughter when I saw his getup. A cheap Dracula costume from Wal-mart had never looked so pathetic, especially when topped off with those cheap plastic fangs. Hed greased his hair back and painted on a widows peak.
I couldnt resist. Wow, seriously, dude?
He gave me a stern look. Its a comment on the commercialization of vampires and horror as we know it today. He fished around in his pocket and pulled out a walkie talkie. Here, take one. The range isnt very far, but my cell phone wont work that far underground. Youll have to stay nearby. Let me know if youre going out of range.
I shrugged and took it. Okay, but you brought your cell just in case, right?
Nah, what good will it do if it doesnt work?
This guys batshit insane, I thought. But he handed me the hundred dollars and, suddenly, it didnt seem to matter anymore.
I helped him into the coffin and shut the lid. He seemed pretty calm if it were me, I knew Id be having a panic attack. I fit the PVC pipe into the hole. It slid in perfectly snug. I climbed out of the coffin and grabbed my shovel, taking one last look at the shiny black peeking out from the dirt.
With a resigned shrug, I started to shovel in the dirt. Okay, well, he asked for this, I thought.
It took almost a full hour to get all the dirt piled in. The PVC pipe was just barely visible over the grave. I piled the earth around it to hide it as well as I could. Then, I set up the rest of the grave: a hideously gothic headstone made of Styrofoam, and cheap Wal-mart flowers. Once it was finally finished, I sat back against a tree and waited.
There was an awful lot of waiting to be done.
Three hours later, his participants still hadnt come.
Hed buzzed in on the walkie talkie a few times, asking if theyd shown up. I continually answered in the negative, wondering how long hed be willing to keep up this charade. He must be getting worried, I thought, staring at my watch. It was already 10 pm and not a soul to be seen.
Hey, Mike? Something must have happened, I dont think theyre coming. Can you get me out of here? Bens voice crackled and faded in and out of the static fuzz. I took another swig of my beer and heaved a sigh.
Of course they werent coming. They were frantically searching for the last clue. My hand crept into my pocket as I felt it folded there, the creases poking at the soft flesh of my palm.
Mike? Are you there? Did you go out of range?
I turned the walkie talkie off. I didnt need it anymore, anyway. Carefully, I picked up a handful of disturbed earth from the top of the makeshift grave. I poured it down the pipe and listened.
I heard the muffled exclamation, the series of expletives. I thought I could hear a thumping sound he must be hitting the top of the coffin. I smiled a little to myself as I poured some more dirt in through the pipe.
Bens struggles got louder and I felt a certain heat rising up in me. Oh, I knew it could be good, but I didnt know it could be good. This was incredible. This was perfect. This was .
Eventually, I grew bored of shoving the earth down into the coffin. I could hear Bens screaming and sobbing reverberating up the pipe. I yanked a handkerchief out of my back pocket and stuffed it inside. I made sure to plug it up good and tight.
It would only be a matter of time, now. Assuming he could regulate his breathing, he could possibly have a few hours. But I knew he was panicking. And that would simply serve to shorten his time.
The pounding grew weaker as I finished my beer. Once I was certain there was no saving him, I went to finish my work.
Ben was right everything really did go off without a hitch. I dont know what I was so worried about.
Id gone to find his lost sheep, the wayward participants who were scrambling in frustration for the last clue. I scolded them for making us wait so long, acted the part of the reluctant friend indulging his lunatic companion. I took them out to the grave. It was now past midnight.
They sat hushed as I gave the stupid speech that Ben had prepared for me. Everything seemed normal Id made sure to stow the rag before anyone could see it.
Friends, foes, and everyone in between. Tonight we gather to resurrect the ancient horror that has plagued mankind for centuries. Its tale, once a gruesome epic of blood and seduction, has become nothing more than commercialized fodder as society has aged. Now, the time has come for the phoenix to burn and rise again. So, too, shall the blood-soaked visage of the vampire! My voice resonated throughout the woods, and the morons in attendance clapped as they all reached for their shovels.
We dug him up in about half an hour. It was much faster work with his host of suckers. It was good that we reached the coffin quickly, because I could barely contain my excitement.
Two of the men opened the coffin and screamed. The women leaned in over the grave to peek as well, full of expectancy. There was something dreadful about the scene, to be sure.
Bens face had gone gray, sprayed over with a few specs of dirt. His hands were bloody, his fingernails pried off. Deep scratches decorated the top of the lid. The men who had opened his tomb dragged him out in a panic, unsure if this was part of the performance or not. A few moments of silent listening at his chest produced no heartbeat. The proclamation was definitive: he was dead.
They screamed. They called the police. They alternatively looked at his body and shielded themselves from its horror, enraptured yet struggling.
They ignored me.
But that was fine. It was fine because they were admiring my work, the work of the artist. Finally, I had been given this opportunity to prove my worth. Finally, I had found my sacrificial lamb. And it had been a rousing success. The heat raging in my body affirmed that much. I didnt even care if I was caught, so long as I could have this moment to hold for the rest of my life.
Ben was right. I should have known a man of principle never lies. And I owe him a debt of gratitude, for realizing the artist within me.
Art must be a little dangerous for it to be real.
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/every-halloween-i-have-a-story-i-like-to-tell/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/172357360662
0 notes
samanthasroberts · 7 years ago
Text
Every Halloween, I Have A Story I Like To Tell
I liked Ben, I really did. I mean, he was a nice guy. We had some fun times together in college, messing around the dorm, going to parties, all the dumb shit that college guys do. He was cool and all, but he was a little pretentious. Well, I guess the word he used was artistic. He thought he was real smart, spent a lot of time trying to prove it to everyone. He had his own blog developed to film critiques not the big ones, though. Just little indie productions because nothing else was worth his time. When he got like that, he could be pretty insufferable.
Perhaps the most annoying thing that he did was performance art.
Now, I dont wanna be the guy who says that all performance art is dumb. But yeah, no, all performance art is dumb. Oh, look, youre on display painting a picture of Jesus from your own urine, how original and edgy! Maybe Im a little jaded, but it always seemed so contrived to me. Unfortunately, Ben really loved it. He thought there was something beautiful in art that was physically living and he devoted an embarrassing amount of time to it.
Anyway, I hung out with Ben a few times after college, but we mostly just met up to do some heavy drinking and maybe hit a strip club or two. He considered THAT performance art as well, which was just fine with me, it gave me an excuse to waste some ones. Since we didnt hang out very often, I had a bad feeling when he contacted me about a month before last Halloween.
He called me up at about seven in the morning on a Saturday, which is too early to even consider waking up, in my opinion. I answered in a daze and he started running his mouth like crazy, as though afraid that, if he didnt get it all out at once, he never would.
Mike, hey, Mikey, listen, buddy, I need your help, okay? Okay, okay, Ive got this idea for a performance and, well, its going to be , you know? So good! Its going down on Halloween. Can you come help? Look, Ill even pay you, man. Fifty dollars. So how bout it?
Now, Ive never cared much about Halloween one way or the other, and Im a pretty easy guy. Fifty dollars to probably just sit there and run a fog machine or some bullshit? For the right price, I could even pretend that I wanted to be there. Besides, what else are friends for?
A few days later, he gave me the details. To be honest, I was a little shocked when he sent the email. I know that performance art is intended to be edgy and can sometimes get a little dangerous, but this seemed downright negligent.
Mike:
Thanks for agreeing to do this for me! Ive talked to a few other people, but they werent really comfortable with it, for reasons youll probably be able to figure out. Of course, I understand if you want to back out, but I think you are probably the most reliable person I know. Its really not that big of a deal, Im sure youll agree.
As Im sure youve noticed, vampires have become very prominent in the media as of late. I say vampires because they are beginning to deviate so wildly from the traditional myths that they resemble forest fairies more than anything else. Altruistic? Sparkly? Whiny? Give me a break. We need more Dracula! We need more Carmilla! We need more death, destruction, and blood!
My performance will center on the theme of rebirthing the vampire. For the vampire to be reborn, he must first be buried. To turn peoples attentions back to the myths of old, I will be doing just that: I will be burying the vampire.
I have a group of viewers signed up already to participate in the performance, so you dont need to worry about that. Im going to plant a series of vampire-themed clues around town for them to follow. The clues should be pretty simple, and it will probably take no more than an hour to an hour-and-a-half for them to find me.
Here comes the somewhat controversial part. Essentially, for this performance to have any semblance of meaning, I need to be buried alive. Dont worry, its perfectly safe: I have a buddy from back home who is building me a coffin with a hole in the top. Ill be fixing it with a pipe that will stick an inch or two above the ground. That way, I wont run out of air. Ill also have a few necessities in the coffin in case something happens: food, water, and a flashlight.
Once they arrive at my grave which will be completely vampirized they will be provided with an array of shovels and will bring me back to life, a reincarnation of the true mythological history of vampires.
Here is where you come in. I need you to bury me. In addition, I need you to be my safety net: if they cant find me, if something goes wrong, if I become sick, I need you to be the one to get me out or call the police, if necessary. Ill also need you to decorate my grave, make it really creepy dont worry, Ill send you some blueprints.
I know this is a little stressful and it may take some time for you to decide, but, rest assured, this is a completely safe project. Theres no danger of suffocation and the coffin is sturdy, so its very unlikely that it will collapse. I really just need you there for support and the actual hard work of burying me.
What do you say? Id even be willing to up your pay to a hundred dollars, if thats what you need.
Let me know!
RIP,
Ben
I stared at my screen for a few minutes, completely dumbfounded.
Once I cut through all the bullshit about art and vampires and rebirth, what it came down to was death.
This guy actually wanted me to almost kill him.
I mean, sure, it probably WAS safe. But my mind went over the plan slowly. What if I couldnt get him out in time? One shovel and a pit of dirt wouldnt be a fast job. Furthermore, what if something happened to me?
Before making a decision, I sent him another email asking if he was really sure he was up for this. Of course he knew, he said. And then he said something that would always stick with me.
Art must be a little dangerous, my friend, for it to be real.
A month later, I found myself standing at the foot of a grave. It was six feet deep and perfectly rectangular. Sitting at the bottom was a tapered coffin covered with black lacquer, a white skull painted on the top. In the eye of the skull was a hole just big enough for the PVC pipe. Stenciled underneath was a line from Dracula: Denn die Todten reiten schnell.
I stood there like an idiot, waiting for Ben to show up.
In the end, Id decided to go along with his stupid gig. Ben was a stubborn bastard, and if I didnt help him, someone else would. At least, thats the justification I gave myself. But the real reason was that, deep inside my heart, his words were still echoing.
Id ended up doing a little more work than I had intended. For one, I had to place his stupid clues around the city. It wasnt hard work, but it took some time to get them all in the proper places. Luckily for Ben, they were pretty obvious clues. There was no need to worry that his participants would be unable to find him.
Ben had set up the grave and the coffin a few days prior to Halloween. It was out in the woods just on the outskirts of town, no chance of it being disturbed. Id tried to talk him out of burying it the whole six feet down.
If something happens and I need to get you out fast, what will I do? Cant you put it closer to the surface?
Ben had just shaken his head in exasperation. You just dont get it, do you? It has to be done right. Remember what I told you.
So I shrugged and let him mess around with whatever dumbassery would get him off.
I was just beginning to wonder if I should have brought more beer this promised to be a long night when Ben showed up.
I had to restrain my laughter when I saw his getup. A cheap Dracula costume from Wal-mart had never looked so pathetic, especially when topped off with those cheap plastic fangs. Hed greased his hair back and painted on a widows peak.
I couldnt resist. Wow, seriously, dude?
He gave me a stern look. Its a comment on the commercialization of vampires and horror as we know it today. He fished around in his pocket and pulled out a walkie talkie. Here, take one. The range isnt very far, but my cell phone wont work that far underground. Youll have to stay nearby. Let me know if youre going out of range.
I shrugged and took it. Okay, but you brought your cell just in case, right?
Nah, what good will it do if it doesnt work?
This guys batshit insane, I thought. But he handed me the hundred dollars and, suddenly, it didnt seem to matter anymore.
I helped him into the coffin and shut the lid. He seemed pretty calm if it were me, I knew Id be having a panic attack. I fit the PVC pipe into the hole. It slid in perfectly snug. I climbed out of the coffin and grabbed my shovel, taking one last look at the shiny black peeking out from the dirt.
With a resigned shrug, I started to shovel in the dirt. Okay, well, he asked for this, I thought.
It took almost a full hour to get all the dirt piled in. The PVC pipe was just barely visible over the grave. I piled the earth around it to hide it as well as I could. Then, I set up the rest of the grave: a hideously gothic headstone made of Styrofoam, and cheap Wal-mart flowers. Once it was finally finished, I sat back against a tree and waited.
There was an awful lot of waiting to be done.
Three hours later, his participants still hadnt come.
Hed buzzed in on the walkie talkie a few times, asking if theyd shown up. I continually answered in the negative, wondering how long hed be willing to keep up this charade. He must be getting worried, I thought, staring at my watch. It was already 10 pm and not a soul to be seen.
Hey, Mike? Something must have happened, I dont think theyre coming. Can you get me out of here? Bens voice crackled and faded in and out of the static fuzz. I took another swig of my beer and heaved a sigh.
Of course they werent coming. They were frantically searching for the last clue. My hand crept into my pocket as I felt it folded there, the creases poking at the soft flesh of my palm.
Mike? Are you there? Did you go out of range?
I turned the walkie talkie off. I didnt need it anymore, anyway. Carefully, I picked up a handful of disturbed earth from the top of the makeshift grave. I poured it down the pipe and listened.
I heard the muffled exclamation, the series of expletives. I thought I could hear a thumping sound he must be hitting the top of the coffin. I smiled a little to myself as I poured some more dirt in through the pipe.
Bens struggles got louder and I felt a certain heat rising up in me. Oh, I knew it could be good, but I didnt know it could be good. This was incredible. This was perfect. This was .
Eventually, I grew bored of shoving the earth down into the coffin. I could hear Bens screaming and sobbing reverberating up the pipe. I yanked a handkerchief out of my back pocket and stuffed it inside. I made sure to plug it up good and tight.
It would only be a matter of time, now. Assuming he could regulate his breathing, he could possibly have a few hours. But I knew he was panicking. And that would simply serve to shorten his time.
The pounding grew weaker as I finished my beer. Once I was certain there was no saving him, I went to finish my work.
Ben was right everything really did go off without a hitch. I dont know what I was so worried about.
Id gone to find his lost sheep, the wayward participants who were scrambling in frustration for the last clue. I scolded them for making us wait so long, acted the part of the reluctant friend indulging his lunatic companion. I took them out to the grave. It was now past midnight.
They sat hushed as I gave the stupid speech that Ben had prepared for me. Everything seemed normal Id made sure to stow the rag before anyone could see it.
Friends, foes, and everyone in between. Tonight we gather to resurrect the ancient horror that has plagued mankind for centuries. Its tale, once a gruesome epic of blood and seduction, has become nothing more than commercialized fodder as society has aged. Now, the time has come for the phoenix to burn and rise again. So, too, shall the blood-soaked visage of the vampire! My voice resonated throughout the woods, and the morons in attendance clapped as they all reached for their shovels.
We dug him up in about half an hour. It was much faster work with his host of suckers. It was good that we reached the coffin quickly, because I could barely contain my excitement.
Two of the men opened the coffin and screamed. The women leaned in over the grave to peek as well, full of expectancy. There was something dreadful about the scene, to be sure.
Bens face had gone gray, sprayed over with a few specs of dirt. His hands were bloody, his fingernails pried off. Deep scratches decorated the top of the lid. The men who had opened his tomb dragged him out in a panic, unsure if this was part of the performance or not. A few moments of silent listening at his chest produced no heartbeat. The proclamation was definitive: he was dead.
They screamed. They called the police. They alternatively looked at his body and shielded themselves from its horror, enraptured yet struggling.
They ignored me.
But that was fine. It was fine because they were admiring my work, the work of the artist. Finally, I had been given this opportunity to prove my worth. Finally, I had found my sacrificial lamb. And it had been a rousing success. The heat raging in my body affirmed that much. I didnt even care if I was caught, so long as I could have this moment to hold for the rest of my life.
Ben was right. I should have known a man of principle never lies. And I owe him a debt of gratitude, for realizing the artist within me.
Art must be a little dangerous for it to be real.
Source: http://allofbeer.com/every-halloween-i-have-a-story-i-like-to-tell/
from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/03/28/every-halloween-i-have-a-story-i-like-to-tell/
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