hotboyfreighttrain

[hotboyfreighttrain]

i keep thinking i’m still 165lbs or more but when i realize i’m literally halfway to my ugw i get a flicker of hope in my soul

i’m trying not to ruminate or fix my life in the span of a night lmao i intentionally neglected to clean my room so i would let the feeling of not being perfect on new years eve get to me

all i gotta do is clear a spot and then do stuff n then go to sleep and THEN tomorrow can be a good day r smthn. it’s my fam’s church outing so i’ll be at home and i’ll fast new years cause i’m awesome and i’m also restarting my wl journey cause december got me fucked up

[hotboyfreighttrain]

YEAH total for TODAY IS 2000+ CALORIES . guhhhh hh h hh hhhh prrprgppprpprprt gurp gurp gurp gurp gurp gurp gurp gurp

[hotboyfreighttrain]

top five video games?

hmm any souls game ngl

the binding of isaac!!!

red dead 2

any of the south park games

cool math games (im level 57)

[hotboyfreighttrain]

mmm vegge puffs and tboi… NO i’m trying to omad today because we’re probably having breakfast for dinner which isnt probably as bad as i’m making it in my head…. …

[hotboyfreighttrain]

hi marley!! yr one of my coolest mutuals n i hope the next year is a little easier than this one was :))) hope u have a chill/fun night !!

ty ty ty 🥺🥺 my awesomest moot

i hope you have a good yr too!!!

[hotboyfreighttrain]

mmmm woke up to 139.6lbs which i don’t particularly like…….. but a part of me doesn’t really care as long as in the end i turn out to be cool and awesome looking in y2k clothes

[hotboyfreighttrain]

total for today i think is like 785kcal…?

gonna try and fast tmrw and hopefully to new years :3

[hotboyfreighttrain]

both my cousins wanna get fitter and slimmer in the future but little do they know they’re competing with a top class eating disorder pro

[hotboyfreighttrain]

my cousin (the brother one) is trying to get healthy and he was watching for calories (we were at walmart at, yogurt section) and was like “huh i’ll get this haha it’s 80kcal, then i’ll get a salad and some fruit, and when i get home i’m gonna take a walk”

it sort of triggered me but like in a not good way lmao it made me wanna starve more BUT also i was calculating the calories he was eating r smrhn which made me feel bad doing but then again i’m the one whos gonna be malnourished in the end

anywho i got a tiramisu/salted caramel yogurt for 170kcal :> i feel bad eating it

[hotboyfreighttrain]

breaking my 17hr 30m fast with some yogurt at walmart :>> i’m gonna try and get some cheesecake ones if i can find it

edit: ALSO ALSO ALSO my uncle was throwing away these in-date veggie puffs (70kcal) and i snagged all of them!!! he’s legally blind and the small dates printed might have messed him up but free snacks 4 me

[hotboyfreighttrain]

mm myummy money i am getting money from working…… two hunnded dollar… mmm two shifts of working vending machines and free diet coke…. yuymmy money

[hotboyfreighttrain]

homelanderspo oh my god i’ve got to make it

[hotboyfreighttrain]

it might be water weight lmao but i gained back to 140.5lbs this morning so hopefully i can get down to 138 or so before new years

edit: 13hrs into fasting

[hotboyfreighttrain]

so sleepy omg OKAY im going to go to work tmrw which is awesome cause i get paid for 12hrs only doing 5-6hrs of work *drums fingers againdt eachother mischeviously*

when i get home im prob gonna be tired BUUUTTTTT i’ll play some binding of isaac and then finish cleaning my room an workout, i also wanna try and OMAD dinner tmrw, i swear guys even tho i dont feel it rn i…. i got this…

[hotboyfreighttrain]

okay 145 days starting tomorrow im so tired rigbt now i dont even care abr anything really anymore like getting notes on tunblr just want to sleep…. and simon riley…

[hotboyfreighttrain]

cousin only ate literally peanut brittle (a small piece) at the christmas dinner while i got a plate n stuff with high cal shit i want to die (it was supposed to be a recovery day before actually starving tomorrow) but wtf this makes me feel even worse, but i guess that’s a good thing

[hotboyfreighttrain]

i may or may not actually be a therian i may just like the idea of puppy play and i’ve been confused this whole time, i really like fairies rn ngl that’s what i wanna be like my “spo” but darker yk….. like tthink of a skinny mini fairy boy (me)……. oh my god…