#worst ill be indirectly violent or say some dumb shit and block yr number then have too much pride to unblock it
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i mean i think we have to break up before christmas or so which is gonna be really embarrassing but its gonna avert the mutual emotional devastation that would be happening in early may
#its my fucking junior year. my parents cant know she even exists#this creates the conditions of me maintaining a secret relationship#with 4 ap tests. hosa comp if im lucky. spelling comp because theres no other option for me.#my recert and orientation for lifeguarding. figuring out fucking PROM. all my other bullshit finals#state vase also if im lucky. and organizing end of year events for multiple clubs#being kind of bitchy to anyone whos clingy to me would be the BEST option.#worst ill be indirectly violent or say some dumb shit and block yr number then have too much pride to unblock it#like ok. we deserve each other but she deserves someone who can commit to her more#(now that im saying that it would be the best rationale i can give tbh)#i dont wanna break up bc i like being with her but i have to schedule everything w my already wack fucking schedule#i can never have her over or tell my parents im going out w her and barely any of my friends know her#and honestly i dont want to break up bc it would make me sad and lonely#but i dont want to like. wait until i find a better girl because holy fuck thats insane#better meaning literally just easier. cis boyfriend that my parents like or cis Gal Pal that i can hang out with all the time#because the sneaking around shit is so much of my emotional bandwidth
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