#music is still a part of him (literally) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sadisthetic · 9 months ago

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BURST💥

#get fucked eardrums #first caption i thought of was 'music's too loud' but like it didnt have the punch.#anyways i keep on doing terrible things to this man youre welcome btw #hi fi rush #chai hi fi rush #hi fi rush chai #my art #this is a side comment but i bet chai could still fight to the music even when deaf (temporary or otherwise)#bc im sure he can like Feel the music through his body even when his ears are out of commission #like not only is that the case for a lot of Deaf people in reality but also #as a headcanon i think his player in his chest would let him feel the beat even better so #so i think if this were a permanent thing hed be super bummed and uncomfortable with the silence at the beginning #feeling weirded out by how he has to navigate the world now #but i think he'll adjust and come to terms with it with only mild difficulty #music is still a part of him (literally)#its just different now #(though language is another matter entirely)

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virsancte · 8 months ago

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good days aren't easy to come by

#simblr #ts4 legacy #valentine gen 4 #fun fact for context on why i care so much abt him finally choosing to play the piano on his own #but it's gonna get Long so strap in #basically. the guitar he used to have had been with him since he was like...... my god. probably about 15 #he bought it at a yard sale for pennies from an older woman #it belonged to her late son originally and it wasn't even . supposed to be a part of the sale in the first place. she just took a liking to #devin and figured that really it's better in the hands of someone who would use it than for it to collect dust in her garage forever #and he couldn't really practice at home. his parents... are not exactly the kindest people you've ever seen #he was too afraid of them destroying or throwing it away so he'd sneak off to god knows where and learn how to play it from old #youtube videos on his busted up phone #it quickly became Everything to him. his most prized possession. and it wasn't a shitty guitar either. the son was a professional musician #that's how ellie and devin met in the first place. he was playing at the market she used to sneak out to in the evenings to #and she instantly knew . this boy is going places and really they might as well go together #enough backstory of the backstory. long story short: he was struggling to make rent eventually and was out of vinyls to pawn off #so he had no choice left. it was either that or he'd get kicked out along with his sister. who was still struggling a lot w/ addiction #so he sold it. and it broke him. he's literally just not been the same since losing it #his sister stole him a guitar from a music shop she'd go to sometimes but it just wasn't the same and he had not played an instrument since #until now anyway #still not a guitar. but maybe someday #or he can find his old one and buy it again.........#lmfao if you made it here congrats. you win nothing bc im broke but i do respect you

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vaguely-concerned · 1 year ago

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I am so mad about how desperately into pan I am. he was specifically made to fuck me up. they dangled him in front of me like 'hey would you like to see a sad clown trickster with emotional intimacy issues and a heart of, if not gold, then some mysterious alloy with qualities not at all unlike those of gold at the end of the day?' and I went 'boy would I!' and now I'm lost. I'm on my knees he's like if reyes vidal was actually redeemable instead of just a 'release my man he did do all of that but I don't care' situation

#the way he seems so genuinely *delighted* by grace finding her voice and wants her to be able to make her music again #even when she's not the muse anymore............ what the fuck that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard in my LIFE dude #low-key grace's biggest fan musically at least fhsajkd #stray gods #stray gods pan #(this is not a slam on reyes btw the fact that he's unconscionable is part of the appeal in that specific case lol)#I went into the game mostly blind and from what I had seen I fully intended to romance freddie #and then... this bitch shows up for literally one song and I have to restart the whole thing before I even get to challenging a queen #because I now desire the goat guy carnally and I want to duet with him for the rest of forever thank u #also I don't think I can ever not romance him now seeing the contrast between what he gets up to in the endings #what do you MEAN if you don't romance him he just goes off and no one knows where he is. he's still just so alone??? no not on my watch #(if freddie is dead ( :( ) and you romance him there's an *adorable* part in the epilogue where he tells you hekate has him running around #getting lost relics back in a series of distinctly indiana jones-esque misadventures and it sounds like he's having the time of his life #if this is what it takes for him to actually talk to his family without anyone being complete dicks about it I must solemnly accept #the terrible burden of kissing him on every single run through of this game. it cannot be helped it's out of my hands now)

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5eraphim · 4 months ago

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i realize this is sus behavior on my part, but i dont have anyone to tell this to so it's going up on the horny writing sideblog,

i was hooking up with a buddy while visiting Austin a few weeks ago and accidentally had to much to drink (not technically a drink- it was room temp vodka straight up, i couldnt be bothered to make a proper cocktail and i sure as hell wasnt gonna bother him to help me)

and i remember getting freakydeaky for a few hours, then i convinced him to watch princess tutu with me (i really really wish i had taken a photo to savor the memory/prove i got a straight man to watch that show with me, but you just gotta take my word for it, im afraid)

i kinda blacked out halfway through the night and got jumpscared the next morning seeing the safari tab on my phone opened and THIS was what i had opened up + my browsing history from that night 😭

guys help i think i made things weird for him :((

#like i said i don't remember that night/what i said but im 99% sure i know what was brought up #the toybox killer looks eerily identical to my father and uh. long story short- havent seen his face in 10 years #literally my birthday july 7th 2014 was the last time i ever saw him.#but every now and again memories come back and seeing this mf's face makes me dry heave #so by the GRACE OF GOD I PRAY I DID NOT START GOING OFF ABOUT MY TRAMATIC RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER TO THIS POOR MAN #ian i swear im still cool you gotta give me another chance homie!!!!!!#.txt #i talked him into watching PT with me bc hes a big fan of classical music and i mentioned it was a huge part of the show

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imabiscuitinthousandworlds · 2 months ago

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i'm going to he so fucking insufferae about theatre btw. just started my job at the theatre, with which i'm already obsessed bc their plays and stuff are just plain brilliant i could go on rants for hours and boy am i gonna know these plays by heart once i've sat through one half a dozen times. AND i joined a theatre class at school. with four other people but. i'm so incredibly motivated. i NEED. anyway it's tumblr y'all know i regularly go full obsessed nerd on things i am a Freak when it comes to these things and BOY is it gonna be Bad with the theatre

#i hope they play shakespeare.......#i gotta write a paper in shakespeare this year anyway so like. thatd be perfect #ANY WAY THE CURRENT PLAY IS DO GOOD #ITS ALL GREY #LIKE LITERALLY THE ACTORS SKIN IS PAINTED IN SHADES OF GREY #THERE IS ZERO COLOUR #AND YOU FORGET AS U DO WITH B&W FILMS #AND THEN #AND THEN. RED MIST. THE INQUISITIR. GLOWING RED IN RED SPOTLIGHTS #U CANT EVEN SEE THE OTHER CHARACTERS ANYMORE #THE INQUISITOR IS SO PROMINENT IN RED THAT ALL GREY MELTS INTO MEANINGLESS BACKGROUND #THE VISUALS ARE SO GOOD I AM CHEWING ON DRYWALL #STUNNING #ALSO I LOVE THAT SCENE WHEN THAT GUY IS SHOT!! ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!!#AND THE ACTOR IS SUCH AN INCREDIBLE CORPSE??? LIKE LEGIT IF I DIDNT KNOW HR WAS ALIVE #I MEAN HES A FZCKIGN GREAT ACTOR THRU THE WHOLE PLAY BUT DAMNNNN #COULDNT SEE HIM BREATHE WHEN WAITING FOR IT. FOR TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES #ALSO JUST THE FACT THAT TEH CGARACTER REALISED HE WAS WRONG #AND GOES UP TO THE KING TO LIE AND TAKE THE BLAME SO HIS FRIEND HAS TIME TO FLEE #AND THE KING JUST. SHOOTS HIM JUST AS HE WANTS TO START HIS MONOLOGUE #THE TEO PEOPLE CRYING OVER THE CORPSE OF THE ONE SINGLE DECENT MAN IN THIS PLAY #(there is also once decent woman but the more i get the play the less convinced i am on her tbh. i support womens wrongs!! bht not the poin #here rn)#AND THEN ITS ALL FOR NOTHIN TOO!! HUS FRIEND WHOM HE DIED FOR WHO F I N A L L Y GOT TWO BRISNCELLS IS STILL GONNA DIE #ITS ALL SO FUTILE #ITS BEAUTIFUL #THE COLOUR CHOICES UGH #THE SCENE COMPOSITION #THE MUSIC #god the music. poor music guy tho. theres so many tricky parts they get wrong again and again

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louismygf · 7 months ago

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just recently watched this is us with my college friends

#tbqh i found it kinda boring 😭#the louis clips were so not enough #ive watched some clips online prior to actually watching it (for the first time might i add)#one of my friends had a cousin who was crazyyy ab 1d so she dragged her out to the cinema to go watch it when it came out and in 3d lol 😭#the 3d schtick is so funny 2 me lmao 😭#my friend recalls freaking out in the movie theater bc she was a major niall fan at the time. she said 3d niall was so close 2 her face lol #anyway. ab how i watched some clips online prior #i was actually waiting for the louis n his sisters part or the one where he visits his school or smth #my friends.... they literally don't know a thing ab louis personality-wise so they didn't really get much from it #UGH i should download aotv and make them watch it that was way more interesting (but idk? smth about it feels like it's made for fans only?#but... i'll suggest it the next time we get together 🙏🏼#anyw back to my review.#simon cowell's face was a jumpscare what can i say. it was so evil how nicole scherzinger was just. completely written off #im from the future i Know things #<- and like. about this. i felt kinda bad being cynical about the movie when i know my friend is Still an ot5 at heart #i think i broke her 13-year old heart a little 😭#it's so weird how the movie keeps singling out zayn about him getting kicked out or him talking solo music etc kskdj. feels v pointed Lol #they really just documented the 1d-mania & madness they ensued huh.... i think 2 of my friends (bts fans) weren't as impressed LOL 😭#they kinda flamed their performances and stage outfits which is. yeah i agree. kpop idols do WAY more than just.... that (1d) kskskd #i guess i'll make them watch the extra clips next time (o haven't seen all the clips yet i think)#OH and 😭 why was martin scorsese in the film that was hilarious #didn't have a lot of realness to it. is what i thought of the film. yeah. this is(N'T) us ✊🏽😔#maybe... i am too much of a hater #i liked... the... um. it's hard to highlight things i liked ab the film when im Not a 1d fan 😭 like im a louie ONLY idgaf ab 1d 😔#the part ab louis audition.... im sorry babie the editors did u dirty but it was so funny........😭#<- though i imagine it solidified people's (wrong) opinions about him :/

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heyitslapis · 8 months ago

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Just got home from seeing Hadestown & it was so incredible for so many reasons but what got to me the most was when Orpheus looked back there were a couple of loud, genuinely shocked gasps from the back half of the theater

#ah to experience the story for the very first time completely unspoiled #meanwhile thats the part i dread the most so i was literally shaking with anxiety aching for him to not look back even though i knew #this was my 2nd time seeing it since they had it playing local. 1st time was in Louisville for my bday last year & then i was close #to the stage but you could only see like maybe half the stage from the seats. this time however i managed to get center pit seats!!!!#it was so fucking enchanting!!! especially when they did Wait For Me the effect of those lamps swinging *chefs kiss*#still my fucking favorite it resonates too close to home for me but its so fucking great 11/10 #also i got meself a red carnation pin for my jeans jacket & a mug :3 #hadestown #hadestown tour #hadestown 2024 #emma rambles #musicals #2024 journal

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wiseatom · 2 years ago

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anyway you can literally pry mike and will sw*ftie agenda from my cold, lifeless hands

#no hate to anyone not agreeing #however when has WILL CANONICALLY ever EVER showed to be pretentious with music #when has will EVER displayed the same music snob personality as jonathan #like canonically. really. point out a SINGLE time.#he of course loves the music bonding w jonathan and he loves the songs jonathan shows him but like genuinely. really and truly #i am asking you to point out anything about will's character that would indicate in any way he would be pretentious about music.#will's CANON traits repeated over and over are that he is sensitive and emotional and not like other boys #and that is not in the 'i want to be different' way like it is for jonathan. will canonically does not feel Better for being Different.#he just Is.#so like i absolutely one thousand percent believe he'd identify w her music that is sensitive and romantic and whimsical and tells stories #bc those are all things will either is or values. hello lol #and mike lmfao. mike literally tries to be like everyone else. if taylor is popular he's gonna listen and then the absolute bops are gonna #make him stick around. he'd definitely be a closet sw*ftie during rep era to go along w the crowd but he'd come back #also hold on let me circle back to the will point. even if he were pretentious u can't sit here and tell me taylor is not an incredible #songwriter who consistently puts out sonically cohesive albums (for the most part) and is able to nail almost any genre #even if he was Super Pretentious about music -- which to be clear he Would Not Be -- he would admire her for the artist she is #even if it wasn't his vibe. ANYWAY. BACK TO MIKE AKA I WILL LISTEN TO ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS IS COOL #he definitely has Opinions (calling should i stay or should i go Weird) but like. come on. his entire s3/4 arc is abt Desperately trying to #Conform. he'd listen to taylor lol. i just think he'd actually still like her for some of the same reasons as will #bc he also values story telling and then also probably just wordplay.#i'm so sorry to rant about this like i simply know it is not that deep but ALSO. Y'ALL LMFAO. the way that i'm seeing this opinion shared #'this isn't hating!' *is a hater*#<- also exactly what i'm doing but like PLEASSEEE #WILL =/= JONATHAN #AND LIKE MIKE IS EMBARRASSING. THT'S WHY WE LOVE HIM. HE'D ABSOLUTELY BLAST N BOP TO TAYLOR LOL #IDC IDC!!!!!! (CARES SO MUCH) THIS IS THE HILL I WILL DIE ON!!!!!!!!

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lizzydizzyyo · 7 months ago

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So fucking sad that David Archuleta put his life on pause for some stupid missionary period taking two years when his career was literally shooting up (eventually killing it until it sizzled out), not to mention doing a whole PR manouver when he was "caught" in a gay bar from a grainy cctv screenshot (which is not a bad thing btw) but he ended up becoming a public queer ex-mormon anyway. All that effort and bullshit. Man. Imagine if he went ahead with his career in 2012-2014 instead, he might even come out earlier because 2013 was literally the gay coming out year. Can you imagine. Can you imagine how spoiled we would have been as an archie if he did that instead. CAN YOU IMAGINE.

#david archuleta #me #god sometimes i just wanna fucking bawl out so bad for him he got is sooooo good back then #i still listen to his new music but like it's just not hitting the same #he was literally my biggest music motivation until i started learning piano and writing my own songs more professionally #biggest motivation to learn english too bc he also vlogged back then #he was such a big BIG part of my life and i still have the deluxe versions of his first two albums #i mean maybe it's fate because this is when i pivoted to loving dan and phil but still #idk man all the things that could have been with this man #i even still read his autobiography chords of strength sometimes #anyway if you can't tell yes I'm listening The Other Side of Down on repeat now #and having so many feelings about it #i still have dream of being able to see him live but i mean come on there is no way he can ever tour internationally again

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starlene · 15 days ago

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Since it's now Time For Siiri's Musical Theatre Opinion o'clock, here's one:

Now that he's actually starting to be around the right age for the role, there should be a new Swedish production of Rebecca with Philip Jalmelid as Maxim de Winter. Vocally, he's a great match for the part, he was just way too young ten years ago and that kinda ruined the whole vibe back then.

Manifesting!!!

#actually when it comes to Swedish musical theatre in general I think Jalmelid's been a bit of an underutilized asset as of late #of course I don't know what he's like to work with and his acting is... what it is #but he really has a voice like no one else.#feels like after Så som i himmelen he should've been cast in more leading parts #of course there were the pandemic shutdowns. but afterwards?#I guess there was comrade Gleb. and Kinky Boots and the three nights only Chess are coming up. but come on #time for another brooding leading man type part already!#somehow I can literally feel the finger on the monkey's paw curling as I write these tags. but I'm still going to post them #he's my ultimate fangirl status: it's complicated musical theatre artist out there and I think I wanna see him again soon #Nordic musical theatre

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lateseptemberdawn · 5 months ago

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No but like. Men could be the lowest of the low, not be knowing the most basic shit, inept at wit or anything else pertaining to the brain or mind or conscious, and yet the audacity be there. Like. How.

#legit listening to my brother tall of how many qualities he has which mainly just includes having a nice face and using his voice #like this is the dude who is in his last year of high school and absolutely refuses to look at a book for more than half an hour a day #you can imagine the amount of basic knowledgeable he would have with that time period dedicated to studies (not even dedicated hes forcedto)#he knows nothing of the most basic thing needed in class #knows nothing of even the language subjects #and yet thinks just because he can talk he can land a job #theres delusional and then theres this piece of shit #like this family is on the verge of struggling financially and this dude decides to use the lakhs of the rupees worth of tution to eat out #with friends and learn NOTHING #like #im legit so. like i wish he would succeed in life by the sheer power of luck and wishes bc god knows hes a degenerate #yet we care enough to not have him roam around like how it looks like he might bc lets be real if not that he'll end up being a worse pain #but seriously tho how does one be SO behind the very fundamental of human experience and still think their gaming skills and music taste #can save them in this world?#this dude is more or less addicted to his phone and literally like im not exaggerating hes so dumb you have one conversation with him and it #becomes glaringly obvious bc hes so delusional about it that he talks with full confidence but you realise hes not really talking hes just #spitting bs that hes heard on youtube 😭#not to drag him or anything but im seriously so sympathetic. how much of an idiot do you have to be?#to think HIGH SCHOOL education is worthless? hIGH SCHOOL. Tgats like. the very bottom of it.#worst part is he refuses to acknowledge he should get better 🗿#so theres no point in helping bc its one steo forward ten steps back with him #and also feels shitty as fuck to be guiding a fucking 18 yo thru SCHOOL #its fucking SCHOOL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

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unknownarmageddon · 3 months ago

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have you heard this song,,,,

I HAVE NOT i’ll listen to it right now hang on

#dog days are over comes from this album;;;;; i love dog days are over so im hyped #AND ITS LITERALLY CALLED THE BIRD SONG holy shit dude #answering asks #chair asks #chair!!#ohhh this is so interesting #OHHHH HOLY SHIT #held him down broke his next taught him a lesson he won’t forget;;;;;;; but in my dreams began to creep;;;;;;;#THE SONG WAS COMING FROM MY MOUTH #dude this fucking slaps what the hell #this is cross about killer in some way. bits of it are anyway. especially the part i mentioned #hating him fighting him being pissed off by him but yet he still can’t stop thinking about him #OHHHHH WAIT THE END BIT IS WILDD OUGHH #dude this music is fucking crazy what the hell oughthghg #banger?????????? my god #anyway yeag as i was saying. kind of cross about killer to me #with their weird spitefully drawing each others blood but still thinking about each other at strange hours of the night #ALSO i dunno if it’s actually anything but my brain immediately started conjuring up this mirror hozier’s shrike somehow some way #killer being a bird; a shrike;;; appearing in cross’s doorway and talking loud like he does #them fighting. cross trying to get him to be quiet. snarling at him. but still dreaming about him despite himself #and then eventually something give and the song starts coming from his mouth #i dunno i can’t explain it. but that’s something maybe #that’s my interpretation and a thoughts anyway. banger ass song my god #just really really good like in general regardless of kross #florence and the machine save me;;;

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sp8sexual · 11 months ago

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a real phone call i made to my dad last night: hi i’m home now but i wanted to talk to you but you’re not home but i wanted to talk to you bc while i was driving i was spirited away by the fairies a now i’m not sure if this is the real you or if you’re the fake fairy duplicate you and i think if it was fairy you i wouldn’t be able to tell bc you could lie to me over the phone

#in case ur curious yes i am like this irl #part 2 #for context #i had spent literally all day shopping and was so fucking exhausted #and on the way back the classical music station was playing something that 1000% sounded like i was being spirited away #so i changed the station #but when i was turning onto my house’s street i was flipping through stations and the classical station came back on #and it was playing something that was very. and now the fairies have returned you #but then i could not get the garage open and i started joking that we were at the wrong house #and it still wouldn’t open so we were like WERE AT THE WRONG HOUSE #THIS IS OUR HOUSE THO??? i’ve seen it before. this is our house #(we as in me and my brother btw)#anyway so i wasn’t convinced that this was my real home and not a fairy duplicate and i wanted to check with my dad BUT HE WASNT HOME #did not know how long he would be gone so i called him bc it was urgent (obviously)#but like? a fairy duplicate of my dad could easily lie over the phone???#anyway my dad took half a beat and was like ‘okay just wait a couple minutes’#he had literally just pulled up outside #anyway.#@anyone with a psych degree: any guesses abt what’s wrong w me?

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eyivibyemi · 1 year ago

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✧ I won’t really write descriptions for these, but see original post tags for explanation/commentary on the song snippet ✧

#This was literally just off the top of my head improvising words that rhyme (as is obvious from me rhyming the word #'on' with the word.... 'on' (what's going ON my name is ON' etc. lol) but after actually thinking about it this kind of seems a little #sinister?? why is his name on the news? why is he fleeing town? makes me think of of some guy who's killed #someone or is finally getting caught for his crimes so one last stop before he flees town is he returns home to his husband (who he #calls Hummingbird sometimes I guess) and is like 'erm... tee hee.. I can't tell you why but I shall leave. farewell' etc.#also 'I guess I could show you' having a bad implication like.. yeah I COULD show you the dead bodies and evidence of my crimes #but I will spare you from that and simply let you live in ignorance (at least until you see the news at 10.. but I will be long gone by #then.. eating green beans somewhere lol).. ANYWAY.. 100% unintentional but you could actually almost read some sort of meaning #out of this one. until the green beans part ghhbjb.. I try so hard for everything to just be meaningless gibberish #that has no connection but I suppose sometimes a connection can be made. alas.. a perhaps accidentally Dark seeming song snippet #OR alternate theory. uhh... actually his name is on the news for a good reason. he donated all his money to charity and now #he's fleeing town just because he's embarassed to be publicly recognized.. a shy philanthropist OR an evasive murderer #BOTH versions of him like green beans. which is the truth? up to listener interpretation lol.. Also I #still find it immensely funny for some reason to do this lower sounding style of singing. which not that I really care about like having a #Broad Range or something since I don't think it'd even be possible to have one in my position (as someone #with zero musical/vocial training/etc.) BUT because part of what I find fun is like.. experimenting with all different sorts of sounds #and also doing choir type stuff. So then I do want to be able to sound like multiple people.. if that makes sense? I want to have a really #high voice and the a really low voice and have them sing together and it sounds like a duet or something when it's really just one person.#etc. Thus have a passing interest in learning to adopt different singing styles if I can. because then that's funny and I can do a wider #variety of things like it's all different characters or something as if all the song snippets are done by different people or etc.#(maybe just part of the nature of it being experimental).#And the low voice is always the goofiest sounding to me and very 'fake' seeming I guess #like blatantly is just someone putting on an affect or whatever but still in a kind of fun jokey way lol #beepo tag

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cruelsister-moved2 · 2 years ago

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sorry to be a puritan but i literally stop listening to someones music if i find out they were a sexual abuser and its not because i necessarily think that’s a moral imperative that i’d require of anyone else but more because i literally can’t anymore like i don’t know how to enjoy the music in that knowledge i can’t just tune that out like I’m letting that music into my soul and something about immersing myself in the raw expression of someone sexually violent feels like taking a bath in dirty water idk

#i still listen to neshama carlebach singing her fathers melodies i havent figured out the optics of that one #but i rmbr she did a blog post 'carlebach is my name too' that made me a bit insane #like. thats a lottttt to deal with and she condemned him n side w the victims #not to like pat her on the back for that bc obviously its the right thing to do but like phew #i rmbr when someone showed me a red house painters song and it made me like deeply viscerally uncomfortable #and then a few weeks later it turns out hes a rapist like #pretends to be shocked literally #other forms i dont feel the same way like i dont get this w book #and i just evaluate it on the content and am able to exclude parts of it from me etc #but listening to music by someone whos done something so hateful to another human being like it literally makes me feel tainted

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genderqueer-karma · 1 year ago

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guys can i talk about that fucking guy. clap if you think i should talk about that fucking guy.

(accidental ramble in the tags. oops. don’t read if you don’t want to read a crisis.)

#yo it's d :)#you already know who that fucking guy is unless you’re new here and that’s none of you so .#i need to start asking my friends if i can talk about that guy but it’s hard honestly #he literally takes up 50 to 80 per cent of my mind on a daily basis #even when i’m not thinking about him i’m thinking of him #i’ll see something blue and be like ‘wow! yk who really likes the color blue?’ and suddenly my brain is flooded with thoughts of Him #don’t get me wrong i love him but i realize that other people don’t care about him as much as i do so i’m trying to dial it back #still. it’s hard.#especially knowing that other people know how to contain themselves and i’m just sitting here raw out in the open like this #to be honest idk how i managed to survive school because since september i’ve kinda been living in mana hell(/heaven. depending on the day)#some people say they have addictive personalities and honestly i think that’s me #my brain is addicted to him! i literally study this man’s face and mannerisms and can tell you exactly how he smiles when his expression #is otherwise neutral. i can relay unnecessary amounts of his band history to you and have watched WAY too many interviews and videos #and the worst part? i literally told myself ‘hey! you can’t get like this again’* because the last time was really bad! it was destructive!#*(about a person.) i literally cannot function sometimes for just thinking about this guy.#i rarely listen to music besides his anymore and can literally tell you characteristic features of his composing! it’s kind of embarrassing!#like i’m a music nerd but i’m not THAT big of a music nerd. i usually can’t tell you things like that. most i can do is tell you #instrumentation. but whenever i listen to something he *mightve* composed i can automatically confirm or deny.#that’s not normal !!!!!!!!#having over *2000* pictures of a person you’ve never met in your phone is not normal!#but despite me being in the goddamn TRENCHES. i love him so so so much.#he genuinely makes me so happy. seeing images/videos of him from any time period makes me go ‘!!!’ because i think he’s the coolest!#and he’s so inspiring. he’s part of the reason i took up drawing again and regained some passion for music.#thus ends my tale of woe.

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