#moving back in isnt hard
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Just moved half my shit back to my parents and now I need to cull through it all and I wanna stab myself in the neck tbh
#moving back in isnt hard#its seperating our lives#this sucks balllllllls#and hes so done#im never going to stop hoping for a reconciliation#if thats the right word#i want to be with him#thats all i fucking want#and to sort my head out#but i want him#:(#txt
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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this
#rare WIP preview from me#this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao#its been really hard working this far ahead#my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely#which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority#its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o#I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see#when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode#and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on#but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually#bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all#cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory#my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together#and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game#we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything#cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever#but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization#and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer#I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down#'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all#anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry#WIP#lineart#time and time again
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its just funny to me that some bright individuals genuinely think that buck struggling to move on from tommy means something for bt. like buck the clinger? buck who was holding on to the idea of abby returning for MONTHS? buck who asked taylor to move in as a way to securing their relationship before he had to break out the bad news? nah dude he just has a hard time letting people go, tommy ain’t THAT special
#911 spoilers#911 abc#anti bucktommy#im also not saying tommy isnt special btw. im sure buck cares for him a lot for some unknown reason#like i personally dont get it but you do you buck#but i am saying that he has always been known to struggle letting go off people. like buddy has a hard time moving on but it doesn’t mean th#at theyre getting back together ??
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I realize it's been like, half a century since a lot of these people took middle school civics, but they do know...that a VP can't really do shit, right?
Like 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Without 2/3 majority in Senate (which a lot of the big policy changes Democrats want to make are achievement locked behind), a majority of House, a Dem president, AND a liberal leaning Supreme court (bc checks and balances, again, literally 6th grade civics) they can't do whatever the shit they want.
They're working within the limits of their power and literal /hundreds/ of peoples differing agendas.
#'bwuh but shes been in the white house for 3.5 yrs! why hasnt she done anything yet'#us pol#debate#this /literally/ is driving me up the wall#theyve done what they goddamn well could#and we cant go from where we are directly to a neo-liberal utopian world peace society in 4 or 8 or 16 years#its going to take some /damn/ hard work to keep moving us even back towards center and then left of center#MILES to go before we sleep#journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step etc and so on#just bc we wont be here to finish the work doesnt mean the work isnt worth beginning
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tag vent
#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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Films good movies good banshees of inisherin was good
#mfw a movie has irish slang in it and i am familiar with it instead of usamerican stuff#i have Some Thoughts on the setting of inisherin + the time period given the givens abt the aran islands#but nothing concrete. might meditate on it#like ok im no scholar on the aran islands ive been there a couple times ive read a couple articles thats it#but like. the tourism leaning into their image of Old Irish Villagín With Sheeps And Stone Walls basically overruns its reputation#and the islands have leaned hard into the tourism and portraying themselves as True Irish Old Villages or whatever#and thus settles the situation where like. everything about the islands pander to the tourists#the islands themselves are not doing well as places to live iirc#aging population people moving away lack of amenities and funding and resources that arent Tourism#its a gaeltacht but the tourism business mandates knowing english etc etc etc lotsa shit#like i had a school friend from an island and she was always unreachable on breaks bcos the island didnt have wifi#SO! the islands around ireland suffer from lack of facilities while bending to tourism bcos they gotta#BACK 2 BANSHEES to be clear inisherin isnt an actual island but it was filmed on inish mór and very clearly based on the arans#i like the island setting bcos of the sense of isolation it gives i think it was a good choice for the movie#HOWEVER its like. you know the thing where all irish media needs to be set in the old times#when we were all wearing aran wool jumpers and playing our little instruments and being cute historical dotes#yeah. that. compounded with the aran islands wicked having to play into that in the present day#like banshees itself isnt that bad an offender. the island setting just makes it more obvious and you could tick lines off on a bingo sheet#(shoutout to the obligatory civil war reference)#where was i going with this. im tired of weird 'back when ireland was ireland' shit being Thee thing to make art abt#this is why young offenders is the best piece of irish cinema this decade. i need to rewatch the young offenders
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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...
#i started the semester off with such a level head but ive walked myself further and further toward i ledge i can feel crumbling#out from under my feet. i sit in small rooms where i feel the stress radiating from my chest down into my limbs. disappating into the floor#it makes me want to run and run and run but im so tired and the sidewalk is icy slick. and i feel like im at the limits of my abilities#and i know every grad student has that worry but what if its true. that i have a void behind my eyes and not enough depth of thought#anywhere it matters. how am i supposed to operate in this system when i can barely string together the words to understand what im reading#and itll never be any easier. what if im at my functional limit? what if i caught fire and burned away to ashes? what if i screamed and#kept screaming until someone told me patch up the open wound in my chest? what if i just stopped?#what if i could just let go of any need to feel like i have a purpose? what if i could just live? and feel the wonder of the things around#me. let go of all my emptiness#move at a pace that isnt breaking my neck. feel anything close to joy or if that's too much to ask then let me at least feel stable. just#for a while. just a little while.#and i know itll b fine. and i know im just being whiny bc things are hard and theyve been hard and theyll always be hard bc i refuse to make#things easy. but i just feel like im standing alone on a beach where the water's been drawn too far back#and i can see it rushing toward me faster than i can run. im just waiting for the tsunami to wash me away to nothing#unrelated
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btw. it is SO important to me that everyone in dsaf can never have what they want. SO important. you do not understand how imporant it is .
#[ren]#jack and dave can never have a life where they are just existing together#dee peter and jack can never have back the years they lost#steven harry peter and jake all cant have their families#roger and stanley cant have a happy ending either#henry can never be remembered for doing good because everything he worked hard for is shrouded in deceit and corruption#dave can never have a calm life because henry gave him such a warped view of the world that it permanently changed how he sees everyone#jack can never have peace because hes soulless and thus cant move on with life like the others can#blackjack cant have peace because even if henrys gone dave isnt and dave is still a loose end#something somethingg ummm. the theme of dsaf is sometimes you dont get a happy ending and thats okay#(thats not the theme im just autistic)
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me when running away from everyone makes me end up all alone:
#i dont have any irl friends anymore theyre all gone with my old discord and its been too long to go back#i lost myself over the summer in ways i can never explain.. i dont know where i am if im being honest#drinking is worsening it all#i feel so insane.. genuinely.. i cant stop getting into my own head and letting it all happen#its just me and teddy#im too scared to leave the house for longer than a few hours anymore#i cant handle people looking at .e#me. i cant handle talking. i cant handle daily tasks of anything. even these days moving feels too hard#i keep finding myself face down floating in the river#and when i turn my body over#my face isnt rotten#it isnt bloated at all.#... its just me and i look young and like i died two minutes ago#then i snap out and im making dinner#and im someone else. somewhere else forever#im so alone but id rather it right now. no one knows how bad it is. intentionally. i never tell anyone#because what would they do?#the only thing i ever learned was to run away and hide. i cant stop thinking i need to keep doing it#i just want everyone to be rid of me so i keep running and running and running
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My dad saying everyone in this house could stand to just not eat for a couple days is living rent-free in my head still
*sigh*
#personal#vent#tw eating issues#tw body dysmorphia#holy fucking shit man#sometimes i wonder why i have such a hard time with my self-image and then he says some unhinged shit like this and im like#'oh yeah thats why'#yes were all overweight nobody's not aware of that fact#and your take is 'oh well let's just stop eating for a bit'#as if the reason we're all like this isn't a fucking eternal binge-restrict cycle???#as if the long-term health complications of not eating for a while are somehow less bad than the risks of obesity?#as if one person in this house isnt literally fucking bed-bound and ends up in a lot of pain just from going up the stairs?#hes gotten better about a lot of things since i moved back home but goddamn his diet opinions have gotten worse not better#im not even mad for myself at this point im mad for everyone else who isn't going to question his harmful ass takes and internalize it#fucking hell
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. noncoherent but also thoughts
#i have such mixed feelings on the solas varric save everyone meme#bc on one hand ya that is whats going on in that dialoge but also!! its not!!#solas *is* trying to save everyone from his pov on several levels (the spirits the ancieny elves the modern people too to an extent*)#*the extent being how far he views them as people/everyone being semi dependant on his relationship with the inquisitor i believe#and he is trying this is his third fucking attempt we know of to save everyone#(which of course he will keep trying and keep trying as alone as possible he isnt named pride for no reason he doesnt have a place -#-in the dalish pantheon for no reason)#and then varric..#my god where do i even begin with varric's pov#da2 varric is EXTREMELY you cant save everyone (so why bother to try) and so very much out for himself (and those he cares about -#-bc those are *his* friends and his friends are part of his life)#but for those outside his circle? varric does not give two shits about anyone outside in da2#dai varric has learned over the past 10 years little. imo. he's learned his friends are affected by things he cannot control (hello.) but#he clings to the idea he can control things he can write their (his) story bc if he cant (and he knows he cant its why he tries so hard) -#then its been meaningless the whole time and he's back at square one#varric has learned the you have to try thing the fucking hard way and tbh he doesnt really believe it (at least not in dai)#i REALLY wanna see dav varric and what development he's had (sorry i havent read the comics and probably wont theyre hard for me to see/read#god i wish i could see what my tags are bc i dont remember where i cut several of these off fuck mobile tagging but anyways#i want tosee what direction varric has moved in - his dialogue inthe trailer is deeply interesting to me. specifically. since it does seem#to imply a real shift in his pov but im Suspicious bc while varric has always cared deeply and has been tryung very hard to keep his friends#read his#life comfortable he's really never picked any sort of side in his life varric is deeply centrist bc he benefits from not rocking the boat#(usually.)#(dai trapped him imo and hes not there to save the world by a long shot)#but dav seems to position him into an instigator role a real shake it up and point role#very interesting to me i wanna see where it goes#anyway.#im gonna take more headache meds and open indeed and blow myself up
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Episode 237: The Nanki-Shirahama Mystery Tour (Part 2)
Maki-san set up an alibi with Kanako in order to murder Madoka Madonna, but Madoka was meeting up with Computer Geek, so instead, alibi imposter, Kanako murdered Maki-san.
Best Quotes:
Random Kid: “Just once more, let me go on the adventure coaster!”
His Mother: “Only if you promise to study when we get home.”
Kid: “Yes, I promise!”
Mother: “But remember, it’s the last time.”
(Lightning bolt flash) Conan: “I see. I understand now. I have the solution to the mystery.”
Conan: “I’m sure that’s the killer, but I’ve got no proof.”
The Mother: “Oh, come on. How can it be so hot at a time like this? (Takes a sip of her juice)
Conan: “I see. That’s how it was done! I’ve found the definitive proof.”
#dcmk#dtccompendium#case closed#Detective Conan#Episode 237#Naki-Shirahama Mystery Tour#Okay... So this post has been waiting a year to get posted#Sorry we once again dropped off the face of the planey#We have more episodes watched and written but life has been really really hectic and its hard to be consistent about posting#Also we lost a contributor and key watcher on account of them having to move to a new state for job training#But I promise we will try not to leave another year long pause in the middle of a two parter#But also...isnt that just what the anime does??#All the time#Leave you hanging on the edge of a cliff for about 27 years while you wait for it to get back to the point?#Anyway#we still love detective conan#We still plan on watching every episode#We just suck#<3 <3 <3
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okay google how do i move out of eastern europe but stay in the eu but go somewhere i speak the language but somewhere that has healthcare and somewhere where i dont need to become a construction worker and also somewhere that is not germany. thanks
#i wanna go to aotearoa I've always wanted to but it's so FAR AWAY. also i need somewhere cold also i#love authentic gothic buildings too much to leave europe. but omfggggg#like it's truly so. i dont want to move somewhere where english isnt a main language but the#uk is out and ireland is unlikely and canada is just somewhat nicer french usa and nz is 4 days travel away. blows up#whatever i have 4 semesters of uni left to think about it. it just feels like im#hurtling full speed at the inevitability of living the rest of my life in Germany#i dont want to live in germany idek why but im sooo. like omg nooo 😭😭😭#partly because it's such a cliché but also coz it's such a vacation country for me like we#went there for vacation like. unironically at least 3 times every single year#insert joke abt *getting back at the 10000000000 german tourists that come to hungary every day* that I'm too sleepy to make#it's so . like i used to have a specific goal in mind (uk ☹️) but then SOMEONE had to go and leave the eu#and also the uk sucks fat shit like csöbörből vödörbe omg. but now i have no#real goal so im just drifting w the vague knowledge that any second now I'll have to pack all my#shit up and escape before it's too late. but where 😀😀😀#i have no qualms abt leaving my f*mily behind but I'll miss budapest#and if i left Europe I'd miss it too especially coz even canada feels really far let alone nz which yknow. 3-4 days of travel#it's the lack of goals that's killing me like OMFGG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK HARD AND#STRIVE FOR SMTG WHEN I HAVE NOTHING SPECIFIC IN MIND...#i mean ''get the fuck out'' is something but it's not Enough. i need to be insane about a#place that's accessible. all the cities/locations im crazy about are inaccessible for one reason or another#bristol and wales are in the uk. nz is on the exact opposite side of the planet. life so sad.#canada is the most likely one honestly but like omgggg. godddddjfdnffnfjfmmf#they should invent a budapest that's not in hungary. they should invent a hungary that isn't comically awful#barking#ok to rb#eastern europe#like im fluent in 3 languages and i can get by in like 10 other ones i Could brush up on any language relatively quickly if it came to that#but it's like. 1. I'd have to pick a location 2. learning a new language also means#getting an entire new personality as well which yknow. idk if i have the capacity for another one rn#i should just become fluent in the ones im somewhat good at but idk which to pick
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Yet another beautiful day to have the Maxwel tag blocked (can't see half of the posts in the Wendy tags)
#rat rambles#starve posting#maxwell posters have lost any semblance of tolerance from me ages ago Ive yet to meet a maxwell fan who's just like a normal person#and to clarify I actually do like maxwel as I am the number one just some asshole whos in too deep enjoyer#but dear god are ppl just absolutely incapable of being normal abt this man and everyone around him#and even beyond that ppl just do not get this man like please he is indeed interesting but not because of some 'retconed redemption'#like pls we can live in a world where he is not an irridemable monster and is in fact just some guy while also still being a flawed person#like the fact that he is so deeply flawed in ways that he never actually properly adressed and challenged is the interesting thing to me#like look at me. he went through horrible shit he didnt deserve. that didnt inherently make him a better or worse person#it just made him a more miserable person#and he didnt escape because of some change of heart or character development#and afterwards he teamed up with wilson because of necessity#I do think on some level he genuinely cares abt the other survivors and he does have genuine regret for how things turned out#but again those things dont inherently mean he moved past the flaws that got him here it just means he has the ability to recognize that#shit sucks and that he wish none of it happened#its why encore is one of my favorite animations from a character perspective because it shows some juicy charlie and maxwell stuff#mainly it shows both that charlie has not forgiven his ass and is manipulating him and that maxwell is still susceptible to it#which isnt a sigh of them rolling back development it's just a sign that maxwell is easy to manipulate with the right cards#which adds up considering his past and his present very well in my opinion#this is a man whos historically always ran away from his problems and is always on the hunt for a sense of control#and charlie tapped into both that and his ever present guilt#its in fact very unsurprising and not out of place for him to fall for that sort of manipulation#and it also makes for a great set up for the inevitable betrayal from charlie as maxwell is hit by the harsh reality of his situation#and that whole situation would lead to some yummy tasty parallels when charlie inevitably gets betrayed herself (I hope)#the ways charlie and maxwel are so similar yet so different facinates me deeply I love how much charlie doesnt realize shes kinda fucked#I want her to be betrayed so hard and left in the dust with no ground to stand on I want the rug pulled out from under her feet#her composition comes from her confidence in the necessity of her actions and the moral superiority she feels over maxwell#so having her sense of superiority be revoked would make for a super fascinating dynamic as she tries to justify the situation in her head#I wanna see her siral and then maybe change her pronouns idk
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