#moving back in isnt hard | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

clits-and-clips · 11 months ago

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Just moved half my shit back to my parents and now I need to cull through it all and I wanna stab myself in the neck tbh

#moving back in isnt hard #its seperating our lives #this sucks balllllllls #and hes so done #im never going to stop hoping for a reconciliation #if thats the right word #i want to be with him #thats all i fucking want #and to sort my head out #but i want him #:(#txt

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deoidesign · 4 months ago

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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this

#rare WIP preview from me #this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao #its been really hard working this far ahead #my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely #which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority #its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o #I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see #when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode #and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on #but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually #bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all #cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory #my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together #and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game #we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything #cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever #but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization #and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer #I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down #'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all #anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry #WIP #lineart #time and time again

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debuckle · 3 months ago

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its just funny to me that some bright individuals genuinely think that buck struggling to move on from tommy means something for bt. like buck the clinger? buck who was holding on to the idea of abby returning for MONTHS? buck who asked taylor to move in as a way to securing their relationship before he had to break out the bad news? nah dude he just has a hard time letting people go, tommy ain’t THAT special

#911 spoilers #911 abc #anti bucktommy #im also not saying tommy isnt special btw. im sure buck cares for him a lot for some unknown reason #like i personally dont get it but you do you buck #but i am saying that he has always been known to struggle letting go off people. like buddy has a hard time moving on but it doesn’t mean th #at theyre getting back together ??

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genekies · 7 months ago

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tag vent

#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas #and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when #we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates #just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night #ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me #ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but #she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening #he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by #people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again #i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends #and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer #than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they #helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that #they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient #im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk #tag vent #vent in tags

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icewindandboringhorror · 7 months ago

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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper #Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed #with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi #all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement #english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS #where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to #like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect #score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol #I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret #meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you #get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized #speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea #ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different #ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one #liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate #in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since #I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small #character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility #question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju #t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually #is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so #is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i #2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have #SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and #talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem #harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically #just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl #in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for #Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol

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lycankeyy · 1 month ago

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Well that was disorienting 👍 BDKQHDKAJD

#i mean i have Some memory of the last couple days in the 'this isnt mine' way #but for all intents and purposes it feels like i blacked out and woke up two days later having not moved #bc im. in bed like i was when we switched HDNSJDKQKS #better to not think abt it too hard and just. go back to what i was trying to do before thatJDLSJDOQPE #im fine btw just yknow Disorders #💛#system stuff

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ghostbustermelanieking · 2 months ago

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ever since i saw wicked, i've been saying i can't wait for part 2 and cynthia and ariana to make me take "for good" seriously. because my first ever exposure to wicked AND "for good" was in the sixth grade when my chorus teacher had us sing it at an end of year concert, like, to our teachers. despite having seen the stage show twice since then, i have never been able to take "for good" seriously because in my head it's always like oh this is a song about how great teachers are (and obviously that wouldn't fucking work in wicked). it's like one of my least favorite songs from the show (i remember like 3 songs from part 2), and i can't take it seriously as a love ballad right now. but i was (am) sure that part 2 will change this and make my little gay heart explode

and then. they changed the fucking title to WICKED: FOR GOOD?!

farewell i fear i will never take this song seriously 💔

#wicked #wicked part two #yeah the movie will probably still change my mind bc ive been saying part 1 pretty much fulfilled my expectations that i held as a littlekid #reading the wikipedia synopsis with huge eyes #like the movie touched me in a way the stage show never did #(which isnt a critique its more of a me problem i sat in the very back of the theater both times #literally the first time our backs were against the wall and my parents were so pissed bc of how expensive the tickets were #and i have shit eyesight so most of what i saw were vague blurs #)#DEFINITELY not EXPRESSIONS #like i feel like ive always had a hard time taking glinda seriously before the movie/thought she was kind of a crap friend #well a. bc the stage show is so comedic but also bc like... im not able to see like little acting choices made by the actress at the assback #of the theater #and the movie moved me sm bc ariana's acting choices make it so obvious that glinda is feeling so much more than shes saying #and i was so skeptical of this casting! color me wrong and i shouldve known better cause cat was my favorite character #at the beginning of victorious #(before it jumped the shark lmao)#anyways #wild that my 6th grade chorus song is headlining a damn movie

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dullahandyke · 8 months ago

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Films good movies good banshees of inisherin was good

#mfw a movie has irish slang in it and i am familiar with it instead of usamerican stuff #i have Some Thoughts on the setting of inisherin + the time period given the givens abt the aran islands #but nothing concrete. might meditate on it #like ok im no scholar on the aran islands ive been there a couple times ive read a couple articles thats it #but like. the tourism leaning into their image of Old Irish Villagín With Sheeps And Stone Walls basically overruns its reputation #and the islands have leaned hard into the tourism and portraying themselves as True Irish Old Villages or whatever #and thus settles the situation where like. everything about the islands pander to the tourists #the islands themselves are not doing well as places to live iirc #aging population people moving away lack of amenities and funding and resources that arent Tourism #its a gaeltacht but the tourism business mandates knowing english etc etc etc lotsa shit #like i had a school friend from an island and she was always unreachable on breaks bcos the island didnt have wifi #SO! the islands around ireland suffer from lack of facilities while bending to tourism bcos they gotta #BACK 2 BANSHEES to be clear inisherin isnt an actual island but it was filmed on inish mór and very clearly based on the arans #i like the island setting bcos of the sense of isolation it gives i think it was a good choice for the movie #HOWEVER its like. you know the thing where all irish media needs to be set in the old times #when we were all wearing aran wool jumpers and playing our little instruments and being cute historical dotes #yeah. that. compounded with the aran islands wicked having to play into that in the present day #like banshees itself isnt that bad an offender. the island setting just makes it more obvious and you could tick lines off on a bingo sheet #(shoutout to the obligatory civil war reference)#where was i going with this. im tired of weird 'back when ireland was ireland' shit being Thee thing to make art abt #this is why young offenders is the best piece of irish cinema this decade. i need to rewatch the young offenders

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jackass-jones · 1 day ago

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Yeah the mouthwash game is pretty good

#the klock keeps ticking #gonna have to stew on this one a lot and probably go back from the beginning and analyze everything #but uhm. damn it goes so hard #just some things I WAS able to pick up that I wanna highlight #the whole ‘take responsibility’ thing has so many meanings but the way jimmy avoids responsibility for everything thats his fault #and takes responsibility for all the wrong shit like taking on the captain role after the crash and his ‘reckoning’#is him so not getting it at all and taking it upon himself to ‘save’ curly #he really does go ‘i learned my lesson’ while not learning shit its so good god #its so infuriating how it ends and its so good and it hits too hard ugh #i love the way curly is portrayed like he does seem like a nice well intentioned guy and a good leader #but like. everyone except anya is a man. so first off we cant say hed be as well regarded if more women were around #and the way he enables jimmy its too real like. he personally hasnt seen jimmy be that way so oooh #surely he cant be beyond reasoning with surely he just needs someone to talk to #its a very good subtle way of showing complicity cuz curly really isnt ill intentioned but he doesnt grasp the severity #and anya is trapped in this really unsafe position and her other coworkers are a kid and a drunk #also the way she acts around jimmy in his pov where shes like praising him is like #can be interpreted as her being scared of him and trying to stay on his good side #or jimmy being full of himself so his image of her is warped as some damsel fawning over him #and the way curly post crash cant speak or move he can just watch with one eye #and he in a very fucked up sense ‘takes responsibility’ for not putting his foot down with jimmy cuz he watches the guy be a horrible #captain and he literally experiences frequent assault cuz oooghh god the painkillers oof #their dynamic is very well written just the resentment and adoration jimmy feels is so fucked #he wants to be the biggest man he sees curly as the cake at his special party #forces curly to eat his own leg saying ‘someday he’ll thank me’ UGHHH #also the mouthwash itself symbolizes a lot of shit ive not gotten to think about yet but honestly one of the hardest hitting parts of the #game for me is the reveal that the stuff these people were risking their whole lives to ship was just. mouthwash. poor quality too #like stopppp its too real like we’re supposed to devote our lives to capitalism and kill ourselves for it and its literally for something so #so fucking worthless like you put everything into this but you contribute nothing to society #im def hitting the tag limit so ill finish with. curly in the cryo chamber absolutely going to die and the credits rolling #jimmy is so stupid and you know hes kissing his own ass for this and will survive i hate it its very good

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lordsardine · 4 days ago

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#continuing rant since again. piss poor timing on the girl's part and i need an outlet #like im now a bit anxious and very annoyed but it isn't Horrible #like i was on the fence about the entire thing #but it's annoying because the ammenties i want are hard to find in a single apartment that's in my budget #not impossible but hard #and it's like oh if i had cats would that be all the at home companionship i needed #like i have a good support system with friends #idk!!#at least reaching out to the dude wont hurt if i phrase it casually like #'hey i remember you mentioning you might want to move in the fall #the person i was going to room with backed out so just wanted to see if you were still considering it #no worries if youre not or already have other plans!#but if you are let me know and maybe we could see if we're looking for the same things!'#but while i like the dude idk if we're living compatible 😩#like fuck i have another friend who isnt thrilled with his roommate but the two of us know we're not living compatible #even though we are good friends #*muffled screaming*#susan seriously what the absolute fuck was this timing #i so so SO want to just message will now but tonight is NOT the night #that's like a saturday afternoon question #anyway. fucking save me neopets #miscellaneous

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djarinova · 2 months ago

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do you ever get like. weaponised incompetence but from a parent

#him: the bathroom light isnt working #me: oh thats weird it was working when i showered this morning #me: *comes upstairs and sees him struggling w the light switch*#its one of those switches on a string so you gotta pull it #and guess what folks #i pulled the string and the light came on #him: oh but it wont turn off now #and im already back downstairs so i come back up #and yes #you guessed it #i pulled the string and the light turned off #truly it's not that hard #the string has been funny since we moved in and you just have to pull it hard #another example #him: do you know where the other soap dish is #me: have you looked?#him: no #and guess what. it wasnt hidden or lost #but in fact it was in the very first bathroom bag i looked in #and also no. im not going to unpack my brothers clothes unless HE asks me bec it's not my job #em talks

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 months ago

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Applied for a job and applying to community college. It feels weird. It feels like I'm 18 again, even though I'm turning 23 in less than a week. It feels promising though

#so when i was 18 i was supposed to go to college!#i was. i was accepted and everything. i had plans #i was going to go for sign language interpreting. i had hella scholarships #and then. they went bankrupt. spring break before i was supposed to attend #it was unfortunate. i didnt have time to try to attend another college. and asl interpreting isnt a common course #so i moved out of my parents house a few weeks after graduation and just started working #it was great. until i moved to philadelphia #where i lost all of my money and tanked my credit score by being poor #so now im back with my parents #what a horrible cyclical turn of events #and for the longest time ive been trying to get out again. move out. get back to work #i have a job now but it barely pays uh. anything #and i was fighting so hard to escape that i didnt stop to think that i dont have the means to and i would just end up not great again #so i decided to apply for a front desk and marketing position at the same place my older sibling works #an art center. a place that i really fucking love tbh #and a nearby community college has free college for people that were essential workers during the pandemic #i think i would have to live in this state for a year tho so maybe not college right now #but maybe someday. if i get this marketing/front desk position then im sure ill stick around for a bit #idk im having weird conflicting feelings about trying to put down roots here #but i cant leave anytime soon. thats kind of hitting me #i dont have money. or a good credit score. i will not be accepted to an apartment #and even if i am i will not be able to pay rent #so i might as well get a job i like. not just a placeholder #see about going to college. especially if its free #and instead of like. waiting for my life to start. maybe do something with it while i have it #if that makes sense #suicide tw ahead-#i didnt think i was going to make it past age 18. and now im nearly 23 #so im living every day with no plans #every day is a lovely little gift that i never expected to have so now its a task to try and figure out what to do with it

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itsalwaysdark · 4 months ago

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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF

#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid #but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil #i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl #spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but #i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to #afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like #vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you #should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done #with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt #but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen #but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the #way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so #tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me #sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and #it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there #nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having #to work for the rest of my life #ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be #Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes #all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does #but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its #back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until #i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep #and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice #days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends #IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so #dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like #its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago

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...

#i started the semester off with such a level head but ive walked myself further and further toward i ledge i can feel crumbling #out from under my feet. i sit in small rooms where i feel the stress radiating from my chest down into my limbs. disappating into the floor #it makes me want to run and run and run but im so tired and the sidewalk is icy slick. and i feel like im at the limits of my abilities #and i know every grad student has that worry but what if its true. that i have a void behind my eyes and not enough depth of thought #anywhere it matters. how am i supposed to operate in this system when i can barely string together the words to understand what im reading #and itll never be any easier. what if im at my functional limit? what if i caught fire and burned away to ashes? what if i screamed and #kept screaming until someone told me patch up the open wound in my chest? what if i just stopped?#what if i could just let go of any need to feel like i have a purpose? what if i could just live? and feel the wonder of the things around #me. let go of all my emptiness #move at a pace that isnt breaking my neck. feel anything close to joy or if that's too much to ask then let me at least feel stable. just #for a while. just a little while.#and i know itll b fine. and i know im just being whiny bc things are hard and theyve been hard and theyll always be hard bc i refuse to make #things easy. but i just feel like im standing alone on a beach where the water's been drawn too far back #and i can see it rushing toward me faster than i can run. im just waiting for the tsunami to wash me away to nothing #unrelated

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stabyou · 1 year ago

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me when running away from everyone makes me end up all alone:

#i dont have any irl friends anymore theyre all gone with my old discord and its been too long to go back #i lost myself over the summer in ways i can never explain.. i dont know where i am if im being honest #drinking is worsening it all #i feel so insane.. genuinely.. i cant stop getting into my own head and letting it all happen #its just me and teddy #im too scared to leave the house for longer than a few hours anymore #i cant handle people looking at .e #me. i cant handle talking. i cant handle daily tasks of anything. even these days moving feels too hard #i keep finding myself face down floating in the river #and when i turn my body over #my face isnt rotten #it isnt bloated at all.#... its just me and i look young and like i died two minutes ago #then i snap out and im making dinner #and im someone else. somewhere else forever #im so alone but id rather it right now. no one knows how bad it is. intentionally. i never tell anyone #because what would they do?#the only thing i ever learned was to run away and hide. i cant stop thinking i need to keep doing it #i just want everyone to be rid of me so i keep running and running and running

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rinofwater · 9 months ago

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My dad saying everyone in this house could stand to just not eat for a couple days is living rent-free in my head still

*sigh*

#personal #vent #tw eating issues #tw body dysmorphia #holy fucking shit man #sometimes i wonder why i have such a hard time with my self-image and then he says some unhinged shit like this and im like #'oh yeah thats why'#yes were all overweight nobody's not aware of that fact #and your take is 'oh well let's just stop eating for a bit'#as if the reason we're all like this isn't a fucking eternal binge-restrict cycle???#as if the long-term health complications of not eating for a while are somehow less bad than the risks of obesity?#as if one person in this house isnt literally fucking bed-bound and ends up in a lot of pain just from going up the stairs?#hes gotten better about a lot of things since i moved back home but goddamn his diet opinions have gotten worse not better #im not even mad for myself at this point im mad for everyone else who isn't going to question his harmful ass takes and internalize it #fucking hell

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