#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they

[genekies]

tag vent

[4jimin]

hello there!! its me guys… so !! here i am, doing what ive wanted to do for a long time. it’s new year, the first day of 2018, and i wanted to take the chance to say some things.

i’ve always struggled when it came to expressing myself and letting my inner self out in the open, bc i didn’t like feeling that exposed, but if there is a thing i’ve learnt with the passage of the years is that one of the most important things in the world – if not the most – is sharing love and showing people they’re appreciated and cared for. so i may strech myself a little bit too much, but please keep up with me, i have never been good at expressing myself shortly :(

2017 has been a tough year. for all of us, in different scales. some of us lost many important things, from people to motivation, or a reason. we lost jonghyun this year and no words can express how big of a loss this was. i almost lost my grandma, and only i know how much this triggered a fear in me. it doesn’t matter how much we say life is precious and worth living, sometimes we just can’t see an end to it. a path, a destination. from what i know, anyone i know could be gone tomorrow, or even today, and the heavy realization of this sank on me like never last year. that’s why i think it’s so important letting others sincerely know their impact in our lives, it doesn’t matter if you don’t impact their lives just as much. that’s not the point of it. i’m sure you impact other people in a way maybe they don’t impact you. and that’s okay. we’re humans. it doesn’t have to be mutual to be real and significant. because in the end of the day that’s what makes all of us important. the things we feel and how all of it connect us with other people. happiness, sadness, fear, love and all kinds of emotions – they should be shared. don’t be scared about it. i swear you’re important, and you matter, you just have to believe it. please, keep going, you’re such an unique, precious thing to this world, and it would be such a loss to not have you. i love you, i hope you all have a happy new year, and – most of all –, so many love in your hearts that it feels like swelling and like it doesn’t fit your body ♥

to the people that i feel like having the biggest connection with in here: you’re so important to me. really. i love you so much

@jihope hello there you. it’s me again lmao im here to say for a billion times over how much i love and adore you, and everything that you are. i love when you talk so excitedly about the things that you’re into, and how you’re so passionate that i can actually feel all the love through a goddamn screen lmao i love how thoughtful and caring you are of your family, i love your relationship with your mother. i love how it feels to me that you can fit anywhere, talk to anyone. i love how it doesn’t seem like you’re scared to live your life, doing whatever you want whenever you want. i love how you always reassure how much you love me it doesn’t matter how i can lack sometimes. honestly, i love you so much it’s insane. thank you for being my best friend, i love you.

@c-cygnus tbh i feel like i love so many things about you i could go on for hours. meariie you’re such a precious little thing. i know you’re like a month younger than me, but i feel like you’re my baby and that i need to protect you from everything. i love how you’re always so bright and cheerful, melting everyone’s heart in a beat of a second. i love how humble you are, no matter how much fucking talent there is inside of you, you act like it’s no big deal when it fascinates me and so many other people to the core. i love how you’re pure, it makes me feel like the world is good and that i could just hug it all in my arms. i love how you make me feel when we talk and literally explode declarations all over for each other. i’m so happy to have met you, thank you so much for being a part of my life, i love you.

@tanktoptiger keila, i feel like i’ve learned so many things from you. i know you’re always proud to hear that – and you should, because it’s amazing –, but you were one of the reasons why i started to feel more comfortable with my sexuality to actually start wondering and questioning some things that i felt. i can never thank you enough for that. i love how it doesn’t matter the situation or the environment, you’re not scared to let others people what you think and how you see the world. i felt jealous about it, because i’ve always lacked on this part of myself. consciously or not, i’ve always caught myself wondering if i should speak up, if it was worth the time and strength and if it’d make others hate me. now, i can see that these things are not really important and that i shouldn’t let it stop me from speaking for myself. i love this about you. i also love how funny you are sometimes without meaning to, and how sweet you can be no matter how tough you may try to look. i love you, please keep being who you are.

@blt-prf hello, i miss you :( and i couldn’t let you out of this, because truly sfjnd you’re an inspiration for me. i still remember when i sent you that first ask, absolutely dying out of embarrassment and rambling my way out, because you were one of my favorite authors and i had to let you know, but then you answered so sweetly and followed me and i was???? wow life is good. anyway, after actually getting to know a little bif of you, i only grew more fond of who you are, and now everytime you pop up in my notes or in my dash i feel like mush (im serious sdjkdjf) i love you so much, i hope you know that

@sheloveskook baby :-( tbh you’re like a ray of sunshine shining sososo bright everytime we talk, and i usually get ??? h o w can you be so sweet and so caring all the time, you actually overwhelm me in the best of ways and every time we talk i feel like i could curl on a bed like a baby with you singing me to sleep and?? idk if this is weird but this is sincerely how i feel. i wish i could give you all the good things in the world like, a day in jungkook’s arms?? id give you if i could. i hope this year is like immensely good for you, and that even if it brings you bad experiences it is only useful to help you grow and become an even more incredible person. i love you so much i wish i could lock you up in my heart, :(

@m0chimchim bree, angel. you were one of the first people i met here and honestly what a great way to start my experience with this blog. you went away a little after i joined here, but even though i had already grown so fond of you?? and i don’t know how you did it, but everytime i thought about you i was worried wondering if you were alright, happy and smiling. i still worry but seeing you in here rambling about your day at times and all, makes me feel so good i could just hug you the tightest. i hope life is treating you well, always. i love you

@strongjeon give it up for the most gorgeous woman w the best make up skills, a queen. listen. i dont know if im too easily entranced by people (which i dont think so), but im actually so??? mindblown bc we have actually just started properly talking it has two days but i already feel so attached and comfortable around you, like we could talk for hours straight (like we already been doing? wow amazing) you’re so funny and cute and pretty and talented and i just get!! why and how you and isis got to find me interesting enough to join you sfjfkdkd but!! i also wanted to let you know that you can reach me anytime you want if you ever need to talk and just vent okay? i don’t know if things are still hard, but if they are i’ll give my best on trying to make you laugh and happy. thank you for being so supportive, you have no idea how much this means to me :( i love you

@pkjjm hello you the duo part of my squad goals sdfjkf i know you’re probably not going to see this until you come back but im writing it to you nonetheless bc?? i have to let you know some things. i always watched you from afar and thought “wow isis is so cool she’s so funny i wish we would be friends” but i was too shy to properly approach you so i kept on w this inside of me for a long time sfjkdn and now that we’re actually talking i feel so regretful that i didn’t try to talk to you before bc you’re honestly amazing?? you make me laugh so hard and i love how spontaneous you are, your facial expressions are seriously the best, and i love how even though we had never actually talked before, just interacted here and there, you still made me feel so comfortable, like i was already part of that group just like cami did. thank you so much for hyping me up 100% of the time, know that if you ever need me for anything im here okay?? i love you

@1taesgf if it’s not the bae of my heart, the princess of my dreams ! my little angel, i hope this next year comes full of good memories to mark on you, full of smiles to gift you and most importantly full of immense love to fill your heart just like you deserve. i love you so much, i always get extra hyped when i see you in my dash, i seriously do sdfjkdsh i wish i could give you everything you wanted, like i bet if tae ever saw you he’d be so lovestruck it wouldn’t take him a minute to be head over heels for you!! you’re so sweet and such a beautiful person, i’m always here wishing you the best and hoping you have the biggest smile on your face!!

@parkjiminer my long term other half!! i know it may be weird to listen (read?) this but cathy i feel such a sense of fondness towards you, like that one you feel when your friend achieves something amazing and you’re just sosososo proud even though it didn’t happen directly to you yknow?? i think id be your mom friend if we saw each other daily and regularly lmao i still remember when i found out you got into uni and i was???? so happy seriously so happy even though me myself haven’t made it?? i truly love you a lot and i hope 2018 comes to help you create and make amazing things, just like yourself

@blossomins my sweetest pure angel :( honestly my heart actually hurts from how much i miss you. from the way you’d suddenly drop by my inbox with random ‘i love you’s and ‘i miss you’s or how you’d cutely ramble about something on your txt posts or how you’d suddenly post an amazing fic leaving everyone?? amazed. i absolutely love the way you express yourself, it’s so cute and genuine and i wish you’d see this. jo, you’re such an unique beautiful being and im honestly so happy i was blessed enough to get to meet you. thank you for being you? i love you

@ggukbun airaaaaa!! god you’re seriously so beautiful in and out. i absolutely love when you go off about jungkook, its like the sweetest and funniest thing in the world at the same time sdgjsmdhfk also i think you’re probably one of the most aesthetic people i’ve ever met and i think this is absolutely?? wow goals. i wish you to know that i think you’re absolutely incredible and also so sweet it actually makes my heart go all :((( i love you aira, i hope you have the best of the years and also is able to fulfill all of your wishes

@bangtanroyalty oh well :( my loveeee, i know i randomly drop by your inbox to send you messages like this all the time but?? you’re such an inspiration, i see such a kind and powerful woman in you, it’s amazing how you look like you could kick my ass while also kissing my forehead sdhjdnf i know you’ve already heard everything i’m going to tell you, but i just wanted to reassure how much i love you and how amazing i think you are. i love how you’re always so adorable with everyone around you and feels so down to earth to talk with. i love you and this year better bring you some damn great moments or else im going after him to !! beat his ugly ass

@chuulove shoutout to the ever so good-looking bee……..a goddess………listen i’ve always admired you from afar bc i always thought you were so cool and funny and when you actually followed me i was so sfhfkfj how did this happen lmao but seriously bee i absolutely love the way you talk and how you make text posts and them go “adjdkfdhd” in the tags laughing at yourself, i think it’s seriously the cutest thing :( i lov your sense of humour bc it’s actually a lot like mine, so every time you post smth im always prepared to go just like your tags and “sdjdknshdk” but anyway i hope you know i sincerely appreciate and love you a lot and i wish you nothing but happiness

@raplinesgf gio!!!!! if for some in here i feel like im their mom friend for you i feel like you could be my mom friend sdhkjdb seriously you’re so kind and caring, and i feel like you’re always worrying about the ones around you but at the same time you seem so centered and responsible i cant help but feel a sense of proud towards you sdhkfnd i love these little things about you, and how you just do whatever you want don’t matter what others will think, like that time when you changed your whole blog instead of creating a sideblog to dedicate to that group you worked with just bc you felt so much love for them sjsb that day i started admiring you so much more bc you made me feel free to do whatever i wanted to, even though it wasn’t oh such a big thing. anyway i feel like you’ve taught many things without ever meaning to and i’m so grateful for that, i love you

@jjeonguk kyra :( as one of the first people i met in here i feel like you introduced my experience here so well bc seriously you’re such a sweet and funny person to be around, it’s so amusing to see you interact with your followers and friends, i always end up laughing by myself with the messages they send you shdjdj and i also love to see you ramble on the dashboard about things in your life or that time when u were tipsy sjdjkf amazing lmao but !! i just wanted to let you know that even though i suck at conversations and all this you’re seriously so special to me i want you to be so happy like you never felt before!! thank you so much for existing, i love you

@muchbetterbts the one who always comes to freak out about jikook with me in the chat, could i be more grateful??? ju you’re so funny and cute, i love when you’re going off about the things you love, sometimes you remind of jin when he’s in a heated discourse about things with the maknae line in that way he does and it’s seriously the cutest thing in the world sdjdkjd thank you for always hitting me up to freak out with me, i love you a lot

@lesbianblossomjimin the ever so loving ash!! god you’re such a source of inspiration – from rocking looks to fighting your way through life, i?? admire you so much?? i know i already went off and started rambling on that video you posted but seriously, you’re such an amazing person. i feel so encouraged by you sometimes and i wish the world could be a better place for all of us, it seriously saddens me so much whenever i see you’re feeling down or frustrated at things for being the way they are it makes me feeling like kicking everyone responsible for this shitty world in the face. but i feel so much better when i see that sea of people loving you and sending you incredible messages like “yes!! send this much love but also much more” bc honestly you deserve all the love in the world :( i love you, i hope in the end of this year you can look happy and feel at ease at all the amazing things i know you’ll accomplish

@clairelions my baby chichi :( i cant believe i didn’t get to meet you before, you are so incredibly talented, with all your beautiful edits with bright colors and cute flowers, i always feel so good looking at them!! thank you for always sending me cheerful messages and supporting me with your sweet compliments, you always melt my heart and make turn into a blushing mess. i wish you all the good to go your way in this year and that you can always see beauty even in the ugly places. i love you, thank you for being this source of warmth always

for those whom i don’t have the courage to approach, to speak regularly or even interact, or that i interact just a little from time to time: know that i admire you from afar like an idiot and that i love you a lot

@dulcetjimin ♡ @jiminkirk ♡ @taehob ♡ @jungkookio ♡ @jeonjeongguke ♡ @jungkookjimins ♡ @vanillalattaes ♡ @cowjimin ♡ @prettymochi ♡ @bwisan ♡ @taesflower ♡ @jwimins ♡ @nochuu ♡ @busanbfs ♡ @safejimin ♡ @orayanno ♡ @jeonbia ♡ @velvethoseok ♡ @harunyany ♡ @je0n ♡ @cutiepiebts ♡ @bts420 ♡ @caughtinjimin ♡ @jikookdetails ♡ @jikook-love ♡ @parkejimins ♡ @astro-child ♡ @berry-happy-tokki ♡ @dyegu ♡ @heyhosam ♡ @kainks ♡ @mochismile ♡ @yxxn-g1 ♡ @chimhyung ♡ @ddochi-jimin ♡ @yourpinkpill ♡ @jiminshugs ♡ @jiminslattae ♡ @hobiini ♡ @jjksamor

and for the two of you, who are always so supportive of me and the absolute sweetest: thank you, i love you so much, and i hope there’s only happiness when you think about yourselves

@haileyjikai @jikookaddicted

i know that in the end of the day this is just a blog, and most of us will follow different paths along our lives and are very likely never going to meet in real life – but nonetheless, i feel like none of this matter, bc i feel like it’s such a gift to be able to share so many things and feelings with people from all around the world in a way they become part of your daily routine. even though we may go different ways one day, i feel like i can never forget you guys, bc you all leave always such a great impact on me. bts got to make me experience a lot of incredible things – and one of them was to know that there are such beautiful people like you all in the world. i love you 💘

[bougon]

I'm sorry, you probably don't want to talk about The 1975 anymore, but I need to vent to someone who actually understands and won't just go "uhhh if you loved them you would support them through anything u sick idiot" so yeah hi. I just wanna say that I miss The 1975 a whole lot, but I find it hard to come back to them. It used to be about romanticizing my youth and finding comfort in their music and dreaming of seeing them live, but now it's just (part 1)

-- promotion in my instagram feed. After four years of waiting, I finally got tickets for their show, but then they cancelled the date and I won't be able to see them. My train tickets and hotel reservations can't be unbooked. I know it may sound silly, but I feel betrayed. The band that was with me when boys broke my heart and when my nana died and when I was drunk and lonely in a bathroom stall... that band chose publicity over me. I used to feel connected to them, like they were-- (part 2)-- my brothers, but now they're celebrities that I can't understand or reach or ever be good enough for. Most people will probably laugh at what I'm currently writing, but you if anyone should know what it's like to have such a strong emotional connection to them that you feel like they are with you both when life is good and when it's bad. I miss being passionate about The 1975. Maybe it's not their fault, but for some reason I can't stand them anymore. Sorry for bothering, just had to vent

okay first of all i am so sorry this happened to you. it’s 100% not okay and like while i’m generally not surprised anymore when the band does things that show lack of care for fans anymore, this one did surprise me. like... a whole tour? like if anything that’s how bands make the majority of their money so like why would they cancel it since they love money so much? but yes i’m really sorry it happened to you and i hope you’re able to recover as much of your money as possible, and if not... maybe a little vacation is in order if you already have that stuff booked? might help to get your mind off things and have a little fun even if it wasn’t what you planned :(

i was talking to needy about this a little bit today and we both feel the exact same way, like. the band meant so much to us and being part of the fanbase was so fun and it was just enjoyable and genuinely a good time. the band made me feel like part of a community and i’m sure that’s similar to how you felt too, like they were really special and were there no matter the mood, like you said!!! but then something happened last year where it just felt like it changed? and that’s not even me like ~expecting anything from them~ or whatever but literally about them talking shit about fans in interviews? kind of coyly criticizing fans who travel across the globe for them and shit, like... that was not cute at all. i don’t expect anything from a band other than to not be disrespected when i’m giving them my money, you know? lmao

but now idk what it is like, canceling the tour makes it seem like the money they are getting isn’t even enough, that they want MORE fame for more money ? it just is so strange since it’s against everything they used to stand for. and what needy and i were talking about was that it kinda felt like going through a breakup when we learned these things, and it hurt so much? i was genuinely in such a depressed stupor after leaving my blog, and not just bc i was bullied off it lmao but because i felt like i had lost a friend, you know? which sounds exactly like what you’re saying, and it hurts!!!! it really does hurt and don’t think for a second that you’re foolish or silly or anything at all because it means something to you and you feel taken for granted and it’s absolutely not okay, like even loss of money aside it still feels awful. and it’s corny but it does hurt. when i hear their songs now like.. it stings and it puts a bad taste in my mouth i dont know maybe im being dramatic idk

point is i get what you are saying, and i totally understand. it’s hard to find a band that feels like.... so all about the fans and makes you feel like you’re known and heard even in a sea of thousands. so it makes sense that we would latch onto that, and then it really hurts when the rug is pulled from under you and the enchantment vanishes. and for me and maybe for you too, they were something to really look forward to and they actually brought me euphoria and excitement and happiness (cue me crying any time i saw them bc i was finally not feeling miserable)? like literally they aren’t the best band in the world there are hundreds of bands that make better music than them, but that sense of community and care for the fans is so rare, which is why it meant so much, and also why it hurt so much when it felt like we lost that

i’m so sorry this happened to you, i really really am -- no one deserves that. i’m sorry i rambled for AGES but it’s been on my mind for a bit and please feel free to message me off anon if you want to chat about it more, i’m here for you and i can only imagine how awful you must be feeling :( xxx

[hellll0oo]

rant don't read please i just needed to get it off my chest

im sry to vent to u guys but i just miss everything so much right now and im kind of having an emotional breakdown on this beautiful sunday afternoon and i just kinda wanna reflect on my life. i miss so much. and by so much i mean 1) being skinny and 2) having a boyfriend but it goes beyond that. i miss being skinny because i felt so confident, i had no problem landing guys, everything i wore looked good on me, i ate so well, and i was super active. the more weight i lost the better my life kept getting and i just want that to happen again but it’s so hard to keep eating so little and doing so much while so much is going on. i also regret all those times i looked in the mirror or at the scale and thought i was “so fat” because i was 116 lbs instead of 112 lbs. now id do anything to get back under 120 lb and be comfortable with how i look again. everything was so light and easy and i know i need to crack down on myself but the weekends are so hard and prom stresses me out and i miss my old life and vibes from when i was getting skinny and when i was. it seems like everytime im in a groove and losing weight my life is just going so well and then something comes up and ruins everything and i struggle so much past then and feel like shit and cry and eat and gain weight and it’s just so hard and i don’t wanna deal with it anymore. i miss the warm weather and the shorts my thighs didn’t look like australia in and so much more and i just need to kick my own ass into shape bc if ive done it once i can do it again. secondly i miss having a boyfriend. i miss having the security of someone who liked how i looked, liked how i acted, who would let me vent about my friends, who would laugh at my stupid jokes, who would send me snaps and texts saying how pretty i was, who gave me a shoulder to cry on, who would drive around with me when i was drunk and couldn’t go home, who would help me when i freaked out about my weight, who would cuddle with me like a big teddy bear, who would give me hugs and pick me up, who would make me laugh when i was crying, who would be there when i needed a date, who would take ugly pics of me when i said stop and then send them to me later telling me how pretty i was, who would constantly tickle me even though i hated it bc he loved to see me laugh and smile, who would kiss my face a million times to make me laugh, who got all nervous when he asked me out even though he knew id say yes, who didn’t even wanna see me hurt or upset and worked to make me happy again, and sooo much more. i guess i say having a boyfriend bc i know any other guy can do that for me in the future and that i don’t need that person to be my ex bc there were also times he was horrible. it was so nice having someone who reassuringly liked me and it still hurts so bad knowing he just stopped and there was nothing i could do or change to make myself desireable again and save what we had. idk why it hurts so bad but maybe it’s bc there were so many firsts that i had and will never get back and i just wish i could go back and be more grateful and appreciative and taken more cute couple pictures and not been such a bitch over the small things and been so concerned with what others thought about us and just had the balls to ask for a picture with him rather than waiting like 3 months bc i was afraid his friends would make fun of me and think im possessive. i should have spoken up about how i wanted to go downtown or to dinner or breakfast or any other place than just assuming he would know and getting mad when he didn’t bc that was petty asf on my part. i should have let him put those “ugly” pics of me on his stories bc it was just him trying to let everyone know that i was his in a cute and funny way. idk im just really upset right now and rambling and reflecting and maybe i do miss my ex but idk i think i just miss how my life was when i was with him and i NEED a prom date so badly and idk everything is just messy and my friends are mad at me and my mascara is all over my face and if i could just have my life be exactly how it was at the beginning of summer and then end of july that’d be great thanks bc i would go back 1) bc i was over dramatic 2) bc i had so many missed opportunities 3) those are the best parts of my life and i miss them so much!!! also if i could just go back for the past few months and not take everything i had social and just in general for granted and my life would be a lot fucking better right now and i wouldn’t be crying in bed w a stomach ache. also to add to all this ive been able to hook up with ONE guy since we broke up in november and he literally just used me twice and then stopped talking to me completely and like idc if u just wanna hook up it's the end of high school i don't wanna form a relationship to have to break up in a few months before college anyways but just be nice to me and be my friend at least and invite me to a party damn!!! but it just hurts bc what have i done to make all boys like avoid and hate me and not want anything to do w me?????? im gonna stop now and get shit done so rant over thnx bye.