#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they

[genekies]

tag vent

[bougon]

I'm sorry, you probably don't want to talk about The 1975 anymore, but I need to vent to someone who actually understands and won't just go "uhhh if you loved them you would support them through anything u sick idiot" so yeah hi. I just wanna say that I miss The 1975 a whole lot, but I find it hard to come back to them. It used to be about romanticizing my youth and finding comfort in their music and dreaming of seeing them live, but now it's just (part 1)

-- promotion in my instagram feed. After four years of waiting, I finally got tickets for their show, but then they cancelled the date and I won't be able to see them. My train tickets and hotel reservations can't be unbooked. I know it may sound silly, but I feel betrayed. The band that was with me when boys broke my heart and when my nana died and when I was drunk and lonely in a bathroom stall... that band chose publicity over me. I used to feel connected to them, like they were-- (part 2)-- my brothers, but now they're celebrities that I can't understand or reach or ever be good enough for. Most people will probably laugh at what I'm currently writing, but you if anyone should know what it's like to have such a strong emotional connection to them that you feel like they are with you both when life is good and when it's bad. I miss being passionate about The 1975. Maybe it's not their fault, but for some reason I can't stand them anymore. Sorry for bothering, just had to vent

okay first of all i am so sorry this happened to you. it’s 100% not okay and like while i’m generally not surprised anymore when the band does things that show lack of care for fans anymore, this one did surprise me. like... a whole tour? like if anything that’s how bands make the majority of their money so like why would they cancel it since they love money so much? but yes i’m really sorry it happened to you and i hope you’re able to recover as much of your money as possible, and if not... maybe a little vacation is in order if you already have that stuff booked? might help to get your mind off things and have a little fun even if it wasn’t what you planned :(

i was talking to needy about this a little bit today and we both feel the exact same way, like. the band meant so much to us and being part of the fanbase was so fun and it was just enjoyable and genuinely a good time. the band made me feel like part of a community and i’m sure that’s similar to how you felt too, like they were really special and were there no matter the mood, like you said!!! but then something happened last year where it just felt like it changed? and that’s not even me like ~expecting anything from them~ or whatever but literally about them talking shit about fans in interviews? kind of coyly criticizing fans who travel across the globe for them and shit, like... that was not cute at all. i don’t expect anything from a band other than to not be disrespected when i’m giving them my money, you know? lmao

but now idk what it is like, canceling the tour makes it seem like the money they are getting isn’t even enough, that they want MORE fame for more money ? it just is so strange since it’s against everything they used to stand for. and what needy and i were talking about was that it kinda felt like going through a breakup when we learned these things, and it hurt so much? i was genuinely in such a depressed stupor after leaving my blog, and not just bc i was bullied off it lmao but because i felt like i had lost a friend, you know? which sounds exactly like what you’re saying, and it hurts!!!! it really does hurt and don’t think for a second that you’re foolish or silly or anything at all because it means something to you and you feel taken for granted and it’s absolutely not okay, like even loss of money aside it still feels awful. and it’s corny but it does hurt. when i hear their songs now like.. it stings and it puts a bad taste in my mouth i dont know maybe im being dramatic idk

point is i get what you are saying, and i totally understand. it’s hard to find a band that feels like.... so all about the fans and makes you feel like you’re known and heard even in a sea of thousands. so it makes sense that we would latch onto that, and then it really hurts when the rug is pulled from under you and the enchantment vanishes. and for me and maybe for you too, they were something to really look forward to and they actually brought me euphoria and excitement and happiness (cue me crying any time i saw them bc i was finally not feeling miserable)? like literally they aren’t the best band in the world there are hundreds of bands that make better music than them, but that sense of community and care for the fans is so rare, which is why it meant so much, and also why it hurt so much when it felt like we lost that

i’m so sorry this happened to you, i really really am -- no one deserves that. i’m sorry i rambled for AGES but it’s been on my mind for a bit and please feel free to message me off anon if you want to chat about it more, i’m here for you and i can only imagine how awful you must be feeling :( xxx

[hellll0oo]

rant don't read please i just needed to get it off my chest

im sry to vent to u guys but i just miss everything so much right now and im kind of having an emotional breakdown on this beautiful sunday afternoon and i just kinda wanna reflect on my life. i miss so much. and by so much i mean 1) being skinny and 2) having a boyfriend but it goes beyond that. i miss being skinny because i felt so confident, i had no problem landing guys, everything i wore looked good on me, i ate so well, and i was super active. the more weight i lost the better my life kept getting and i just want that to happen again but it’s so hard to keep eating so little and doing so much while so much is going on. i also regret all those times i looked in the mirror or at the scale and thought i was “so fat” because i was 116 lbs instead of 112 lbs. now id do anything to get back under 120 lb and be comfortable with how i look again. everything was so light and easy and i know i need to crack down on myself but the weekends are so hard and prom stresses me out and i miss my old life and vibes from when i was getting skinny and when i was. it seems like everytime im in a groove and losing weight my life is just going so well and then something comes up and ruins everything and i struggle so much past then and feel like shit and cry and eat and gain weight and it’s just so hard and i don’t wanna deal with it anymore. i miss the warm weather and the shorts my thighs didn’t look like australia in and so much more and i just need to kick my own ass into shape bc if ive done it once i can do it again. secondly i miss having a boyfriend. i miss having the security of someone who liked how i looked, liked how i acted, who would let me vent about my friends, who would laugh at my stupid jokes, who would send me snaps and texts saying how pretty i was, who gave me a shoulder to cry on, who would drive around with me when i was drunk and couldn’t go home, who would help me when i freaked out about my weight, who would cuddle with me like a big teddy bear, who would give me hugs and pick me up, who would make me laugh when i was crying, who would be there when i needed a date, who would take ugly pics of me when i said stop and then send them to me later telling me how pretty i was, who would constantly tickle me even though i hated it bc he loved to see me laugh and smile, who would kiss my face a million times to make me laugh, who got all nervous when he asked me out even though he knew id say yes, who didn’t even wanna see me hurt or upset and worked to make me happy again, and sooo much more. i guess i say having a boyfriend bc i know any other guy can do that for me in the future and that i don’t need that person to be my ex bc there were also times he was horrible. it was so nice having someone who reassuringly liked me and it still hurts so bad knowing he just stopped and there was nothing i could do or change to make myself desireable again and save what we had. idk why it hurts so bad but maybe it’s bc there were so many firsts that i had and will never get back and i just wish i could go back and be more grateful and appreciative and taken more cute couple pictures and not been such a bitch over the small things and been so concerned with what others thought about us and just had the balls to ask for a picture with him rather than waiting like 3 months bc i was afraid his friends would make fun of me and think im possessive. i should have spoken up about how i wanted to go downtown or to dinner or breakfast or any other place than just assuming he would know and getting mad when he didn’t bc that was petty asf on my part. i should have let him put those “ugly” pics of me on his stories bc it was just him trying to let everyone know that i was his in a cute and funny way. idk im just really upset right now and rambling and reflecting and maybe i do miss my ex but idk i think i just miss how my life was when i was with him and i NEED a prom date so badly and idk everything is just messy and my friends are mad at me and my mascara is all over my face and if i could just have my life be exactly how it was at the beginning of summer and then end of july that’d be great thanks bc i would go back 1) bc i was over dramatic 2) bc i had so many missed opportunities 3) those are the best parts of my life and i miss them so much!!! also if i could just go back for the past few months and not take everything i had social and just in general for granted and my life would be a lot fucking better right now and i wouldn’t be crying in bed w a stomach ache. also to add to all this ive been able to hook up with ONE guy since we broke up in november and he literally just used me twice and then stopped talking to me completely and like idc if u just wanna hook up it's the end of high school i don't wanna form a relationship to have to break up in a few months before college anyways but just be nice to me and be my friend at least and invite me to a party damn!!! but it just hurts bc what have i done to make all boys like avoid and hate me and not want anything to do w me?????? im gonna stop now and get shit done so rant over thnx bye.