#and takes responsibility for all the wrong shit like taking on the captain role after the crash and his ‘reckoning’

[dykedvonte]

wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment

Thank you and this is what I want to get across.

A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.

I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.

He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.

He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.

Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?

Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.

[jackass-jones]

Yeah the mouthwash game is pretty good

[ivormybeloved]

hi im here for another series Fugitive Au questions (sorry i really like this au and im starved for meggie stuff); If the boys /did/ manage to get back up to Sky City, what would the overall reaction be? I'm sure if the townspeople are unaware of the 'death sentence' Milo and Reggie received, then somebody by now has surely noticed one or the other missing.

And I'm sure the guards would be at the very least, startled, and possibly a bit frightened because they were somewhat responsible for Milo and Reginald going off the island. In particular, I could see the guards that were physically present for 'the incident' becoming kind of paranoid, especially around Reginald. (Sidenote, it'd be funny if someone's immediate thought when seeing those two was 'AH SHIT GHOSTS, SKY CITY IS HAUNTED')

And most curious of all would be Isa's reaction; She sentenced them to death, and as far as anybody was aware before those two popped back up, it was nothing but void beneath the island. The only way to recover from a fall like that is elytra and fireworks, which are obviously off the table, which means she's going to have to confront that she was wrong about SOMETHING with the void if those two somehow made it back, as well as also tangle with the fact that two people she tried to kill are very much NOT dead and are standing in front of her

OH MY CREATOR WHAT A NICE THING TO WAKE UP TOO (don't worry, I'm also starved of Jailbirds/Meggie content.)

1—Reginald would be overjoyed. Milo, on the other hand, would be sad he didn't get to spend more time with his husband... Though I did plan that, if I choose to let then find a way up, things would play out like normal Order Up! just not exactly as planned (Phillipe would take Milo's role and a new random guard would be named captain.)

2—The townpeople definitely knew the two went missing. After all, it's a small town and Reginald was the captain of the guard.

3—Yeah, the guards were definitely very startled to say the least. There were a few guards that considered Reginald a friend. Also yeah, it definitely would be funny if that happened. Thanks for the idea!!!

4—Isa would be upset, as usual, because a traitor and a fugitive just casually walked into her palace after they were supposed to be dead. Also, being told about land would definitely surprise her. Woman's just staring at two supposedly dead fugitives and wondering if she can just do a quick exorcism on them.

[cazzyvintage]

Perfectly exasperating

Synopsis: You really disliked Zemo, but one person you disliked more? John Walker. After bonding over how you disliked him with Zemo, you have the unfortunate situation of running into John. He flirts, insults, and hurts you and Zemo is ready to put him in his place.

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings/Tags: Use of swear words, John Walker being a dick, soft Zemo, protective Zemo

Author’s note: I was not intending this fic to come out as long as it did. This was one of the ones I had been putting off to write other stuff till I finally pulled myself around to writing it and ended up getting really into it. Funny how that happens.

Masterlist

Sequel

Part 3

Part 4

“Would you care for a Turkish delight?”

You bite the inside of your mouth in annoyance, refusing to even look at him. Instead of forcing your eyes to focus on a spot in front of you, not moving them in the slightest. Zemo waited for a few moments before sighing and turning away from you.

“You’ll eventually have to talk to me, y/n” he exclaims as he walks over to the kitchen side of the room. You were sitting in the safe house Zemo had provided. There wasn’t much to do, just sit and wait till the funeral started. Zemo sought to communicate to you to keep you two occupied, but you didn’t want to talk with him, so you didn’t. You just sat on the settee, staring at the sofa opposite you while Zemo walked around looking through the cupboards for food.

You were pissed when Bucky revealed he broke Zemo out of prison.

The avengers had been your family. Whenever you needed them Steve would be there to offer you advice, Tony there to make you laugh. Nat there to beat up whoever required it. Everything was wonderful in your life. For once. And he had ruined it.

He caused the family you loved to split, hate each other, and that left you alone. So alone. Losing both Tony and Steve made you more mad at Zemo. He robbed the last years you could have spent with them, so yeah, no wonder you refused to talk to him.

He loved to annoy you, though. Any moment he got he was beside you, creating sarcastic remarks about what was happening, trying to joke around with you. Trying anything to communicate with you. The worst of it was when he insisted you had to be his date on the mission in Mandripoor. Feeling his arm wrap around you, a kiss to your temple, the smell of his cologne flooding you, drawing you in. It pissed you off knowing how easily you fit into the role of his date. Yet you knew deep down why. Every time he made a snide remark, you had to bite your tongue to stop making one back. Every time he tried to joke with you, it took all your effort not to snort. You hated him and everything he does, yet you could sense a fondness growing for him, just a slight one, in the deepest corner of your heart. Left there to be locked away. Never acknowledged.

“So, the new Captain America, huh? What’s he like?” you hear Zemo ask, leaning on the counter of the kitchen table, his eyes burning into the side of your head.

You feel bile rise to your mouth as he spoke.

John Walker.

John fucking Walker.

If you hated Zemo, you despised John Walker. Just thinking of him brought a scowl to your lips. Steve meant everything to you. He was a father figure to you. He stood for all you believed in. He was your hope, your light in the darkness. And John Walker seemed to tarnish it. You wouldn’t have minded him if he was a different mascot for America. If he became America’s new hope. It was the fact that they called him Captain America. That he had the shield. The title belonged only to Steve. He claimed he wasn’t trying to replace Steve, but that is what he was doing. Him being called Captain America felt like a spit on Steve’s memory. People would forget him, everything he did for the country he loved. They would only focus on John Walker, and you detested that.

You didn’t blame Sam for giving away the shield, unlike Bucky. You could understand why he did it. That shield held such a responsibility, such a legacy it seemed impossible to ever live up to. No, you blamed the people who took the shield away from the museum. Without Sam’s permission. They should have asked Sam. But of course they didn’t care. They didn’t care at all.

“I see by your reaction that your impression of him isn’t a pleasant one,” Zemo says, bringing you out of your thoughts and back to reality.

“Have you met him?” he asks

You try to hold back your opinion, but John Walker made you so frustrated, you knew if you didn’t rant about him you would burst.

“Yes. He’s a dick,” you spit out

Zemo quickly straightens up, surprised you actually answered one of his questions.

“Oh? Are you finally speaking to me.” he inquires, walking around the kitchen counter towards you.

“Don’t push your luck” you mutter, side eyeing him as he sits down opposite you. Sam and Bucky were out leaving you alone with Zemo. At the moment you were all waiting till the funeral. Zemo claimed there were a few hours to kill before everyone had to gather. Sam and Bucky decided to check out the town, make sure they knew it well in case a situation occurred where we had to dash. They had forced you to babysit Zemo.

“No, no, I like to hear you talk. Please, if talking about how this new Captain America is a dick is how I get you to speak to me, then let’s continue.” Zemo says, pouring out a glass of whisky for you and him. He holds the glass out to you, an eyebrow raised. You sigh, grabbing the glass out of his hand and drank, feeling the warmth creep up your throat. Zemo chuckles as he watches you, leaning back on the sofa, his arms resting on top of it.

“My, my. The man must be terrible if just the thought of him is making you talk and accept drinks from me,”

“He’s so infuriating! He thinks because he is Captain America he can stick his nose in other people’s business!”

“Ah, so he is one of those people. Doesn’t understand boundaries. How rude,”

“And get this, he got annoyed at us! Telling us we should stay out of his way when he is the one getting in our bloody way!”

“No” Zemo fake gasps

“Yes!” you exclaim, going into a rant, “I can’t even bear to call him Captain America. He doesn’t deserve to be called that. His actual name is John Walker. He claimed he wasn’t trying to replace Steve, but that is exactly what he is doing! And how he talks to me as well. He’s so condescending, treating me as if I am a kid while trying to compliment me and act like he’s all that in front of me,”

Zemo’s eyes narrow and he places the glass down on the table between you two, “You mean he flirts with you?”

“If you could call that pathetic excuse flirting. I suppose. It pisses me off though,”

“I can imagine. He sounds nothing like what Steve was. Nothing like his legacy,”

It was your turn to narrow your eyes, watching Zemo curiously. “I assumed you hated Steve”

“I never hated him. No. I can admire what he stood for, I just find unrealistic. All superheroes are flawed. Innocents will consistently be collateral damage while superheroes are allowed to exist.”

You stare at Zemo, amazed. Not realising the silence you were making. You had always thought he hated Steve. It always seemed that way. Yet he didn’t? Knowing he didn’t hate the guy you always viewed as a father figure mattered to you. And you don’t know why.

Zemo stared back at you. He was studying your eyes, trying to figure out what you were thinking. He didn’t realise what he thought about Steve would have affected you, but it appears he was wrong.

“Don’t worry y/n we’re back and guess what! We found your fav-” Sam shouts, opening the doors of the room and strutting in but he pauses, noticing you and Zemo staring at each other from the sofa’s. “What’s going on here?”

Zemo is the one to pull out of the eye contact trance, smirking as he looks over at Sam, “We were just discussing John Walker.”

Bucky who had followed Sam in grounded at hearing Zemo utter that name. “Perhaps you two would like a drink and join us in considering how much of a dick he is?” Zemo asks, raising his glass to them.

A few hours later you walked down the street following Zemo to find his associate. You didn’t appreciate how secretive he was being, but you understood it. He had many people who wanted to get him, and the second he wasn’t useful to us. He would be doomed.

“It’s too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit” you hear a whiny voice shout. Peering up, you notice John Walker and his sidekick ‘Battlestar’ or whatever jogging down the steps towards you.

“Ah! How did you find us now” Bucky shouts with his arms raised, striding towards them.

“Come on. You really think three Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention,” his friend responds.

“No more keeping us in the dark,” John mutters angrily

Zemo, who you were walking besides, turns his head to you, “I understand what you mean by infuriating”

You chuckle as John looks angrily between you two, “You can start by telling us why you broke him out of prison,”

“He did that himself technically” Bucky replies, and Zemo grins at you, as if bragging about it.

“Aw, this better be an unbelievable explanation-” John Walker exclaims, reaching up to you.

“Hey take it easy before it gets weird,” Sam suggests, interrupting John.

“I know where Karli is,” Zemo reveals to John Walker, his seductive accent sticking out from the rest of them. He tries to walk past John. You, Bucky and Sam follow, but John stops him, placing a hand on his chest.

Zemo glares ahead, disgusted at John for even daring to touch him.

“Well, where” he says, getting into Zemo’s face

“All we know is, it’s a memorial so we are going to intercept her there,” Sam adds, trying to defuse the tension.

Zemo grabs John Walker’s hand and pushes it off him, striding forward again, and you jog to catch up with him.

“See why I call him a dick now,” you whisper

Zemo smirks, looking back at you, “Yes. He’s perfectly exasperating”

“What? No. Wait. No! No! Stop. Hold on. Stop. Okay?” John exclaims running forward and stopping you all in your tracks again after something Sam had said. “I think we are way past reasoning with her”

Zemo just stares ahead, fed up with John while you groan in annoyance. Not being able to even bring yourself to look at the man in front of you.

They argue for a few moments while you and Zemo stand idly to the side, Zemo glances at you rolling his eyes making you giggle. You smack his arm slightly trying to get him to stop making you laugh, but that only makes Zemo chuckle along with you. Eventually they calm John down but he glares over at Zemo, “We will deal with you later.”

“I’m sure it will all come to an agreeable conclusion” Zemo says, gesturing with his hands. He walks ahead, searching for his associate while John Walker moves beside you. You try to pick up your pace, but he keeps up.

“So working with a criminal now. Not very avengery like. I thought Zemo hated Steve. I wonder what Steve would think of you working with him,” he mutters peering at you.

“Need I remind you-you are also working with him now,”

“Come on, darling, don’t be like that,” John responds grinning, placing his palm on your back.

“Get your hand off me” you growl scowling at him

“Most women would fawn over me” John cockily resorts, still not removing his hand

“She asked you to remove your hand” you hear Zemo state, glancing over you see he had stopped walking forward, turned around and was now glaring at John. “Do I need to remove it for you?” he says angrily.

John frowns at Zemo. Finally, taking his hand off you and striding up to Zemo. Zemo tilts his head, his jaw clenching in fury as he stares at John.

“You are nothing but a dirty criminal. Don’t think for a second you can talk to me like that,”

“I will when you are being rude and disrespectful towards a lady,”

John scoffs, peeking over to you, then back to Zemo. Everyone else was standing to the side, not sure if they should intervene or not.

“What did she suck you off or something?”

Chaos ensured.

Bucky and Sam had to leap forward to stop Zemo from launching onto John while Battlestar had to hold John back. “Too far man, too far” he muttered to John

Zemo was snarling at John, his teeth bared in rage. His hair had fallen loose from their usual position and was hanging down over his forehead, giving him a more wild look. The vein in his neck stood out, twitching. His eyes were raging with fire as he looked at John. He kept trying to push past Bucky and Sam to get to John, but eventually gave up knowing it was futile.

You were standing at the side, shocked that John would have the ego to say something like that and at Zemo’s rage towards John for saying it. John adjusts his head. Not looking you in the eyes, but looking in your direction. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t of said that”

Pulling your senses together, you walk up to John, glaring at him. “Yeah, you damn well shouldn’t have. You’re a dick. Nothing like Steve. You never will be,”

John wrinkles his nose in anger, frowning at your remark. You walk over to Zemo now that Bucky and Sam had let go of him. You give him a nod, showing your appreciation, and he nods back, though still glaring at John.

“Who I choose to associate myself with is none of your business. Who I choose to suck off is none of your business. Perhaps you can go fuck yourself and learn a bit of decency,” you spit at him.

A brilliant thought crosses your brain for another way to twist the dagger of your dislike into John. You reach out and grab onto Zemo’s hand, clasping it.

The action causes everyone to turn wide eyed to you. Including Zemo. He glances down at your hand in his then back to yours, surprise in his gaze but he immediately covers it up turning back to John smirking. He turns to behind himself, then back to the group.

“My associate is up ahead,”

You all turn to look forwards and see a little girl staring at you. Walking forward again, gripping his hand, Zemo nods to the girl as you all approach.

“Hello my friend,”

He holds out some money, a lot by the looking of it, and says to her, “This is for your family”

The girl hastily snatches it, obviously in need of it, and you can’t help but feel your heart warm a bit, seeing how kind Zemo was being to her.

“Can you show us the way?”

She beckons with her hands and walks forward. Zemo looks back at you, nodding to make sure you were okay, then follows her.

“What the hell” John murmurs from behind.

Following the girl, she leads you to a building. She turns, pointing inside a doorway, and runs inside not to be seen again.

“Karli’s in there,” Zemo tells the rest of the group. Sam replies and heads inside to talk to her while John suddenly grabs Zemo’s arm and yanks him against the machine on the wall.

Zemo moans as he is shoved into it, the hard outer piece hitting into his chest roughly.

“Hey. You’ve got ten minutes” John shouts to Sam as he takes out a pair of handcuffs and attaches them to Zemo.

“Really” Zemo mutters as John cuffs him to the machine.

“Then we are doing things my way,” John declares ignoring him

“Aggressive” Zemo jokes, though from his eyes you could still see the anger he harbors towards John.

He twists his head to watch John stride forward, staring at Sam, then back to him. “But I get it”

You wander over to stand by Zemo as you wait for Sam to talk to Karli.

“This day has brought a lot of changes. This morning you refused to say a single thing to me and now just moments ago you were holding my hand,” Zemo speaks quietly to you.

You shoot him a glare, “I did that to agitate John,”

“Sure, that was the only reason” but you knew from his eyes he didn’t believe you. They sparkled with amusement as he looked down at you.

“That cuff must bother you” you mention glancing over at them.

“I don’t mind. I quite enjoy cuffs, in the right setting of course,” he quips.

You turn on your side, looking at him, your lips curling into a smile. If we are going to play that game, you thought.

“Oh, what setting would that be?”

Zemo’s smile deepened, enjoying seeing you play along, “I’m sure you would like to know”

“Do you have to do this here!” John exclaims, glaring at the two of you. You quickly step back from Zemo, forgetting that you two had company. Your eyes snap to Bucky’s with worry, but he wasn’t looking at you. He glared at the ground, not seeming to care what was happening between you and Zemo.

After that Zemo tried to engage you in conversation again but you effectively ignored him, going back to how you were treating him earlier, which you knew was frustrating him.

John was looking down at the shield, then squeezed the bridge of his nose with his fingers, panting. Both you and Zemo glanced up, watching him cautiously. You glanced at Zemo and he stared back, confirming you were both thinking the same thing about Walker.

He got up and started shuffling towards the doorway. Both you and Bucky eyed at each other for the first time with the same recognition in your eyes. You leave Zemo’s side to walk over to where John was.

“No, no, no. This is a bad idea,” John mutters as he paces around. Zemo watches him like a hawk while you and Bucky stand side by side, arms crossed.

“It hasn’t been ten minutes, John. Sit tight,” Bucky replies.

“Don’t do that. Don’t patronize me,” he spits back, pacing around.

“He knows what he is doing,” you reply

There’s silence for just a moment. You watch as John turns towards you and walks fast, hitting his fist against the shield, “I’m going in”

Bucky walks forward and places his hand on John, stopping him from moving further.

He tries to antagonise Bucky, trying to make him guilty for what could happen to Sam. And you could tell his words were influencing him.

“You will not be going in till ten minutes are up,” you state sauntering over to them

“Oh, so the whore has something to say,” John spits out

In the back, Zemo growls, tugging on the cuffs that connected him to the wall. You feel the outrage prick up on you as John’s remark.

“Don’t call her that” Bucky says, glaring at John

“She’s been openly flirting with the terrorist over there, so yeah, I think it’s appropriate to call her that,” John bites back

You rush forward, attempting to punch John in rage, but he was able to sidestep you and brings the shield up, connecting it harshly to the side of your head. Pain soars across your face as you fall down onto the ground. You groan, your eyesight going dark around the sides and black patches covering parts of what you could see.

“BASTARD” you hear someone shout with a beautiful accent. From the floor, you can’t make out much of what is going on. Someone with a metal arm attacking another guy. A man with a shield being attacked by a man in a trench coat. It was all too confusing for you. You just wanted to sleep.

You could feel yourself fading in and out. Your eyes begging to close. You could hear shouting. Someone talking.

Your head was raised. Someone was holding it in their hands. Your vision is blurry but as they get nearer your eyes could focus on them. Beautiful brown eyes, messy brown hair, cute thin lips. It was him.

“Y/n!?” Zemo shouted at you, “Y/n stay with me”

“My head hurts” you mutter to Zemo as he lifts you up, placing you against the wall. Slowly your eyesight came back, and you could see your surroundings. Only you and Zemo were left.

“Zemo, where is everyone?” you ask turning your head, but in doing so it makes you feel incredibly dizzy. You groan as Zemo places a hand on the side of your face to stop you moving.

“They went after the Sam,”

“I need to help them!”

“No, you need to stay here and recover,”

You look over at the wall then back to Zemo, “How did you get out of the cuffs?” you ask

“Ah well…” Zemo says and glances down at his hand, your eyes follow and widen seeing his hand, bruising covering it, his thumb sticking out at an odd angle.

“You broke your hand to get out!?”

“Well, I couldn’t let him get away with saying those things and hurting you,” Zemo mutters, smiling slightly but you could see the pain flickering in his eyes, “I gave him a well-deserved punch in the face”

You chuckle at the thought. Leaning forward, you kiss him lightly on his forehead, a gesture of you wanting to ease his pain. You move back just in time to see him looking at you, surprised, before your vision faded.

Taglist: @multiyfandomgirl40 @ineffablebean @freyjasamael @avgravy @huntheimpossible @checkurwindow @there-goes-thefighter @bunniwritesx @montypythonsholysnail @yallgotkik @wonderwoman292

[inglorious-purpose]

Loki’s jacket

At the end of the Loki series, fans were left with a litany of burning questions, one of them being: what the hell happened to Loki’s jacket? I mean, it was a fairly decent jacket. And it just ... vanished?

Then I found an interview with director Kate Herron about episode 3 (Lamentis). In response to a question about Loki losing his pompous attitude, she says:

I remember I had this diagram with Christine from costume. People will see it as the show goes on, but across this episode in particular, Loki's lost his Variant jacket. He doesn't have that by the end, and it's like, as a Loki, he's transforming and in that sense, it's almost like his outer appearance does as well, in the sense that his jacket's gone, but also he gets more dirty. And Sylvie's the same. She loses her horns on the train, and she loses that coat that we've seen her hiding under in the first two episodes. 

source: https://www.thrillist.com/entertainment/nation/loki-kate-herron-interview

The symbolism doesn’t quite work, though -- Loki’s jacket seems to disappear randomly (we never see him shedding it, he just appears without it after his fall from the train) and it’s not obvious that this is a transformative moment for his character. And he continues getting dirtier throughout the show, even though his pompousness is long gone. By the time he ends up back in the (wrong) TVA at the end of the finale, his shirt is sweaty, torn, bloodied, and covered in grime. Even though he has supposedly transformed from a “villain” into a “hero,” he looks like something the cat dragged in and vomited on.

As for Sylvie, the loss of her horns and cloak are voluntary and triumphant -- she uses both to overcome attackers (she shoves the horns into someone’s face on the train and wraps her cloak around a guard in Sharoo), hence their loss represents a victory for her. Plus, unlike Loki, she retains her pompous attitude throughout the show, berating him for breaking the Timepad, scoffing at his plan to kill Alioth bcs she has a better idea, and telling him to shut up when they reach the Citadel at the End of Time. She’s got attitude and she’s not afraid to use it, horns or no horns.

Another thing I found strange: in episode 5, when Loki is trying to reach out to her in the blanket scene, she rejects his offer and instead asks him to conjure a new outfit for her. I fully expected that this foreshadowed a costume change for one or both of them in the finale, but it never happened. What was the point of that dialog? Maybe to underline that they were starting to diverge on their paths -- he wants to share his feelings with her and connect in a deeper way, whereas she’s just concerned with doing her own thing. Maybe her rejection of the blanket is meant to foreshadow her rejection of him in the finale, but it isn’t at all clear -- one of many cases in the show where the messaging is confusing and sloppy.

Stripping Loki of his Asgardian armor in episode 1 begins the process of breaking him down. By the end of his session with Mobius, he’s lost his clothing, his magic, his glorious purpose, his family, and most of his personality. The problem is, he continues to be beaten down throughout the show without being built up again. And this is incredibly dissatisfying for Loki fans.

Contrast with WandVision and TFATWS: Wanda and Sam both get major glow-ups to symbolize how their characters have changed. Wanda, despite going through some heavy losses, has attained a deeper understanding of who she is and how powerful she can be. Sam accepts his role as Captain America and comes to terms with the responsibility that he’s taking on. Bucky doesn’t get a new outfit (although he sports some nice clothes and let’s face it, Sebastian Stan looks good in just about anything), but he’s gained some measure of peace with his past and with Steve Roger’s retirement.

On a personal level, the first two Disney+ shows did good things for me. After watching WandaVision I actually cared about both Wanda and Vision, whereas before I was pretty lukewarm about their characters. (Vision, in particular, I regarded as a tragic waste of Paul Bettany). I empathized with both of them and came to believe in their romance, which had seemed kind of random in the movies. And after TFATWS, I felt better about Steve Rogers not being Captain America anymore; I believed that Sam was up for the job and I was ready to cheer him on. And I felt better about Bucky: he’s on a path to healing and has built a solid friendship with Sam. By contrast, after watching Loki I felt anxious and disappointed. His character was treated with disdain, his tragic backstory was ignored in favor of painting him as a megalomaniac narcissist, he was given an absolutely shit romantic partner (no hate to Sophia di Martino; she was fantastic; I’m talking about the character as it was written), and he just loses and loses and loses. Will he get better treatment in season 2, or will he continue to be the butt of jokes? Will he be allowed to truly heal from his traumatic past? Will he at least get a clean shirt? Time will tell ...

[denimbex1986]

‘...The series seems to struggle itself with the question of what it says about Bucky that he “let” himself be controlled (nb: it doesn’t say anything) and decides some “will he won’t he” suspense over whether he’s deep down still a killer and how he can make up for what he supposedly did are valuable questions to ask, rather than a replication of the same agonising self blame that most abuse survivors subject themselves to.

...it’s believable for everyone to treat his torture and enslavement as an awful unspeakable thing no one wants to confront in earnest, because people are very bad at handling difficult emotional situations, but that treatment is also only ever depicted as wholly appropriate, and so the audience is asked to buy in. Beyond a couple of angry threats Bucky throws the way of Zemo (Daniel Bruhl), his former tormentor, Zemo’s two second apology in episode 3, and some blink and you’ll miss them visual inserts during the aforementioned scene with Ayo, the writing focusses entirely on what Bucky was forced to do while enslaved and skirts around the awful things that were done *to him*, rendering the exploration of his trauma confusing and unbalanced.

...the core message from Sam’s tough love, however kindly delivered, was “man up and take responsibility”. Far from being an example of men healthily discussing emotions, this is a fairly typically macho rejection of any suggestion of fragility or ambivalence. (He also talks about the ineffectiveness of Bucky telling people he’s sorry, seconds after mentioning he was doing the exact opposite, so the incoherence of this speech really has layers.) These might be the kind of well-meaning observations that a real male friend would make, but coming from the mouth of the next Captain America, we are also asked to take them as unimpeachably correct.

...this total emphasis on being “of service” is quite a directive to give a man who was compelled very painfully into service for years, and doesn’t challenge the unhealthy pressure men put on themselves to be in control of their own emotions at all times. The closest Bucky ever comes to falling to pieces comes not from the writing but Stan, who inserts the occasional waver into Bucky’s voice to show all this control is costing something, and does a great trade in “haunted behind the eyes” facial expressions. As a challenge though to the scale of what’s being demanded of the character, that’s fairly thin gruel.

...Sam entreats Bucky to stop working out how to stop all of Hydra’s beneficiaries, and focus on helping its victims — by going and telling them he murdered their loved ones. He doesn’t come out and say that explicitly, obviously, because that would involve the writers directly acknowledging this is some pretty extreme shit, so they just couch it as “people out there who need closure, which only you can give”. I think this is supposed to come off as subtle, rather than minimising.

I have to ask, because when I’ve suggested to people this advice was, well, bad, it hasn’t gone down well: does it really seem a good idea for Bucky, an emotionally unstable man in the midst of an identity crisis, to go off on his own and talk to the loved ones of Hydra’s victims, who he was forced to murder, given the last time someone found out about this (ie Tony Stark) they tried to kill him? Could this not be profoundly retraumatising, having to relive these memories out loud to devastated victims, again and again? Could taking on all their grief and pain and rage on behalf of Hydra, his own torturers, who he must have his own anger against but who will never seek forgiveness, not reinforce the self hatred he already feels?

Meanwhile, is it going to make anyone feel better to be told out of the blue how their loved ones died by the person who killed them? Did seeing Bucky make Isaiah feel better? Did he enjoy that reminder of his past? Did it bring closure? Did anyone on the writing team ask any of these questions?

...The writers...were so unable to authentically write a scene between Bucky and Yori (Ken Takemoto), the father of a man he murdered, that wouldn’t go disastrously wrong they cut it short after about three lines rather than suggest Sam might have oversimplified the problem. But, they needed their vehicle to get Bucky to his smiley happy ending, so the scene had to stay in. He declares at the end of it “I didn’t have a choice” and it‘s possible this was intended to sound like a breakthrough, but as a character beat it’s rather hollow, given that in six hours we’ve seen no depiction of him coming to this realisation.

In any case, no one asks Bucky if this drive to make amends for things he didn’t do is a form of self flagellation that’s preventing him from letting go, whether he’s really up to facing all of Hydra’s victims by himself, offers to go with him, or points out he doesn’t actually need to do any of it...

But aside from saying some pretty unhealthy stuff about recovery, which may not deliver the best messages to male survivors of abuse and assault watching at home, it does seem a shame that what’s unique and interesting about Bucky in the world of male superheroes has been stripped away: the challenging of normative male roles, all the real darkness of having to climb out of what he’s gone through, reduced down to a boring, irrelevant commandment to “do the work”, take charge. In this show, Bucky’s just another dude being a dude.

...Bucky’s story is...operatically, garishly tragic, full of high saturation contradictions and big questions about the self, and a story driven by real world struggle...’

[one-piece-dumpster-fire]

Hello! Could i please have some good good pregnancy and parenting headcanons with a fem!s/o for Law, Eustass, and Zoro please? Thank you so much and have an awesome day!

Oof pregnancy and parenting headcanon make me so soft, thank you very much for this sweet request🥺! I focussed a bit more on the pregnancy part rather than the parenting tho since I've written something similiar for Kid and Law already😅 Hope what I came up with suits you, and sorry for the long wait!

How they deal with a pregnant gf and having a baby headcanon

Trafalgar Law

because of his medical knowledge and observant nature, Law actually noticed the first signs of your pregnancy even before you did

so when you finally realize that you're pregnant and go to confront him with your discovery, he's anything but surprised

"Law, I need to tell you something. I'm-"

"Pregnant? Yeah, I thought so."

he looks pretty unbothered and composed, almost as if this isn't anything new to him, but on the inside he is completely tense and filled with anxiety. A baby just doesn't fit into your pirate lives. At all. However he doesn't want to show his true feelings and possibly cause you to panic. You already got enough on your plate with all the new physical and hormonal changes you're about to go through

personally Law didn't plan on having kids, ever, but what's done is done. To make sure that this is really what you want he'd still offer you the option of an abortion, but when you decline and tell him that you want to keep the child, he accepts your decision

"Alright (Y/N), brace yourself then. A few major changes are upon us..."

everything from the beginning of your pregnancy to the date of birth is planned out by him. Law doesn't want anything to go wrong and refuses to take risks. That means you'll spend most of your time either stuck by his side or in the proximity of another member of the Heart Pirates

Bepo, Penguin and Shachi are super excited for the kid and to be uncles. They all come up with their own ideas on what they'll do with the baby once it's born, and their enthusiasm sort of puts Law at ease. This means he and you at least won't have to deal with everything by yourselves

when you actually go into labour, Law's composed facade drops for a moment and he reveals just how stressed he's been up until now

in order to properly assist you and be there for you while you're giving birth, he forces himself to imagine that this is just an ordinary operation. It's not his girlfriend having his baby, he's not about to be a father in a few minutes-

all the stress and anxiety instantly falls off of him when he first holds the new life you two created.

the first time Law looks down at his baby he's absolutely mesmerized. Sure it's still bloody and screeching its lungs out, but despite all odds it's looking completely healthy and is actually,,,, really adorable? Holy shit, how did he manage to make something so pure-looking-

after cleaning the baby and introducing it to its mother, he brings the little human over to Bepo and lets it rest in the bear's soft fur instead of wrapping it up in a blanket. Not only should that be far more comfortable for the tiny thing, but it's also the first bonding experience with uncle Bepo. And while the baby is sleeping, Law walks over to check in on you and tells you how great you did

as far as being a dad goes, Law belongs to the supportive but distant type. Whenever he's got the chance he'll try to spend time with his kid, but there are often other, more important things he has to take care of

however he's still a proud parent and lowkey hopes that the child will take an interest in his work when it gets older. It shouldn't come as a surprise that one of the first things your kid will be taught by Papa Law is how to dissect a frog

Eustass Kid

his immediate thought when you let him know that you're pregnant is "how can I make this unhappen"

look at him, Kid is not ready to be a dad. Especially when it comes to his level of maturity he's basically still a child himself-

no one on the Victoria Punk is prepared for the big news. Their captain made a baby. There will be a kid running around the ship. Oh shit, everyone better start learning to limit their use of profanities already-

initially Kid acts pretty grumpy throughout your pregnancy. He didn't want this, but it's still happening. And he can't do anything against it. He's almost acting like a pregnant woman himself-

can not and will not handle your cravings/mood swings. Whenever you start acting up he just gets completely irritated and quickly peaces out when he can't come up with a way to deal with you

but what started out as regret turns into excitement when he thinks about how awesome his kid would be. With him as dad and you as mom it's only natural that the result will be amazing

and thus he starts to be a bit more open-minded towards the whole situation. Heck, he even gets lowkey excited and starts building a few baby cribs and closets for the child!

unfortunately tho Kid is anything but compassionate during your pregnancy, and it gets especially bad when you start showing. His immature nature shines through and he makes quite a few indecent comments on how you look a balloon,,,

for some reason he also tends to be more horny than usual. Hey, you already got a bun in the oven, so there isn't anything else you need to worry about, right?

in contrast to how he treated you during your pregnancy, he's actually very supporting and motivating during birth

lmao but that's mostly because he's eagerly waiting between your legs for the kid to plop out and right into his arm like a Christmas present

it's almost like a lottery to him and he's super excited what the brat will look like

however nothing could have prepared Kid for the moment when he gets to hold the baby for the first time. The young man basically beams with pride and grins from one ear to the other while the baby cries like an alarm clock

Kid's first time holding the newborn in a nutshell:

"Hehe, it looks like we got a girl here, ey (Y/N)?"

"Kid... that's the baby's ass. You're holding it the wrong way around."

he definitely comes up with ridiculous names for the child, such as: "Eustass Explosion", "Eustass Chainsaw" and his personal favorite- "Eustass the Destroyer"

putting his excitement aside, the young pirate captain definitely has to grow into the role of a father. At first he almost treats the kid like some sort of new toy or pet

you'll never catch him changing even a single diaper. Most of the time Kid tells Killer to man up, cover the holes in his mask, and take care of it by himself if he really wants to be considered 'the best uncle'

despite his rowdy behaviour he is aware that the child is 'fragile' and usually makes sure to keep it away from any dangerous stuff, meaning that the workshop is off-limits for the little one. Kid also never uses his metal arm when he's playing with or holding the baby; instead he build a more authentic prosthetic that'll allow him to hold the child more properly

Roronoa Zoro

his eye almost pops out of its socket when you tell him

holy shit! Zoro of course knew that sex makes babies, but what are the odds of this happening to you?! Besides he always considered himself to be too controlled and restrained for that to work?! Damn?!?!

despite the initial shock he wants to do his best to help you through the pregnancy. After all he basically caused this-

however Zoro can't even find the way to the grocery store to get some diapers

someone send him help. And by help, I mean Chopper

the reindeer himself doesn't know too much about pregnancies, but he's more than happy to collect some first-hand experience and teaches Zoro all about how to be a dad and what's going on with your body

whenever you're near he keeps his swords sheathed and tucked away from you. Once your stomach starts popping he's wary that if he comes too close to you with a sharp thing you might burst or something

at night he keeps watch like a guard dog, his overprotectiveness shines through and he often refuses to go to sleep before you

you probably go into labour while he's out getting lost or fighting some marines, but once Zoro gets the news he almost drops his sword and hurries back to be with you

but he arrives almost an hour later because he got so excited that he forgot the way back to the Sunny

Zoro really wants to help you and Chopper deliver the baby. He's constantly repeating what the reindeer doc says to you and at some point, when your pain reaches its peak, he even suggets reaching down and pulling the baby out of you with his own two hands lol

but once the first cries fill the rooms, he freezes up. It's done. Those nine months of worry, mood swings, suffering and cravings are finally over. A wave of relief washes over him as he smirks down at you, quietly saying how proud he is

however Zoro strongly refuses to hold his baby at first. He's genuinely scared he might drop it or accidentally crush it.

you and Chopper basically have to yell at him to get him out of his trance and convince the new father to take a look at his child

"Zoro, I did not go through hours of pain just so you can say no to holding our baby. For crying out loud, take your child!"

the second you put the baby into his arms Zoro's protective dad instincts kick in and now he refuses to let the child go again lmao

he's mustering the little one's face like some abstract oil painting, unable to tear his gaze from it and proudly recognizing all the similarities between the baby and its parents

luckily Zoro got some natural dad skills under his belt, and you both share the responsibilities evenly

he's never opposed to changing diapers or feeding the baby, even if the first annoys him sometimes. He also keeps the baby around himself 24/7- during workouts he puts it onto his back, when he wanders around the little one sits on his shoulders, and when he takes a nap on the desk the baby lies on his chest

all of the other Strawhats are more than welcome to take care of the baby from time to time and bond with the newest family crewmember to their heart's content. Well, that goes for everyone except Sanji. You better not let Zoro catch him handling the baby or a fight will break out-

[attempted--eloquence]

“he generally seems to take liam and his capabilities seriously” see i already knew you were a genius bc your fics are some shakespeare level shit but omgggg. this made me realize everyone treats liam like a child or an amusing pet or see him as their responsibility even the ppl exactly his age (hayden, corey, mason, brett) but theo very rarely treats him as anything but an equal. he even follows liam’s lead multiple times so liam takes charge and is more confident (1/

for example, he stutters through saying how he can be the alpha to hayden and mason, arguably people he should be way more confident around considering they’re his bff and gf, but then his first solo decision/act as acting alpha is deciding to bring theo back and he confidently sticks by it despite what others say. it’s also interesting that the others try to take control (send him back, or he’s going back) liam stays determined and theo even points out liam’s in charge when it comes to (2/

theos freedom (liam’s the one with the sword). there’s also the part where liam says he’s going into the hunt. scott and stiles (specifically stiles who says it in a way like he’s talking to a little kid) treat it like liam’s being ridiculous and don’t take it seriously (no no liam i think you’re confused. we’re trying ti get people out). when liam tells theo the same plan, he, after nearly dying trying to keep liam safe (i went through all this to keep you from being taken), defers to (3/

liam’s plan and doesn’t at any point treat jt like a joke depsite how ridiculous it seems. then again at the zoo where liam completely loses it (arguably proving the rest of the packs point that liam can’t take charge or responsibility and is like a child) theo, after having to safely drag them both out of there (while having to keep liam unconscious so he doesn’t almost reveal them again), only tells liam to pick a better location next time, implying he’d follow him again but liam needs (4/

to be more careful. then again int the finale, theo saves liam (again) and again even though he almost died the last two times he followed liams plan, he follows liams lead again even though of the two of them theo clearly is more out together. they’re whole relationship seems to be about trusting the other ti trust them (5/5)

Omg pls no way that’s v generous of you, thank you 😅

And !!!! Yeahhh I feel like Liam’s intelligence gets super undercut exactly as you described. I feel like he sometimes gets like, the dumb little brother (affectionate) treatment, you know?? Which is fine when he’s being his silly “I fell in a hole😃” self but when it comes to pack decisions I’m sure that isn’t great for his confidence (esp knowing he has to step into the role of interim alpha and his judgment could be questioned)

But Theo’s just like, -o captain, my captain- And the only real pushback from him when it comes to Liam’s plans (that I can remember?? could be wrong tho) was when Liam suggested they hide from the GR in the morgue drawers. Which likely has nothing to do with thinking Liam’s plan is bad and entirely to do with the fact that, hello, he’d rather not revisit the morgue like. Ever again.

ALSO? “only tells liam to pick a better location next time, implying he’d follow him again” ughhhhhhhhhhhh brb yeah dying over this. YEAH. Also Theo and his “you picked the spot, you made the plan, you wanted me to help” speech in the car. “You need to figure this out.” He totally acknowledges Liam’s authority over the situation. He’s just along for the ride.

[mikeshanlon]

i really enjoy the way young royals explores the theme of legacy and how detrimental it can be to have to live up to a legacy or be obsessed with reputation. (analysis and thoughts under the cut)

i think wilhelm resents the fact that he has to live up to the role of being in the royal family and yet is very afraid of ruining that legacy bc of all the pressure. before he was sent off to hillerska he went to a normal school and wanted normal people around him and was content with erik having to take on the responsibilities of crown prince. and when he does have to assume that role he says he can never be erik, that he’s always had to be compared to him and obviously doesn’t like that. but even before erik passed and he had to take on those duties he was afraid of fucking up the legacy of the crown, when he sees that sign in the hallway that says you are in charge of your own legacy after he holds hands with simon, his anxiety worsens. you can tell it’s been instilled in him for a long time that what is most important is the crown’s reputation rather than his own wants. in the scene where him and simon fight about alexander being caught, he obviously wants simon to stay, but he focuses on how him doing drugs will fuck up his family’s reputation if it gets leaked. as much as he cares for simon, his legacy and his duties are like this oppressive cloud hanging over him. 

i do think that wille cares for his family of course but to me it’s different that the sort of loyal unconditional care with simon and his sister/mom. erik and wille had unconditional love, erik understood how difficult being a prince in the public eye was, and wille obviously cared for him deeply and felt like he could to talk to him about issues. his relationship with the queen is much more strained, she wants a tailored, doctored representation of him in the media, he cannot be anxious and bite his nails, she makes all the decisions for him. family is important to wille partially because it has to be bc of how special his family is. he helps his family, he helps august pay his tuition, and then makes a point of disowning august after his betrayal as his new “brother”. but again, because of the royal status and expectations upon the family, that supersedes and colors all of their relationships with each other. it seems to be more a sense of “duty” than unconditional love. especially after erik’s death, wille always has to consider how the crown’s image will be impacted, even though he never wanted to have this responsibility, or even the responsibility of being the “regular” prince under erik. being a family unit that is under constant public scrutiny is going to strain relationships. the queen knows that the anxiety of fucking up his legacy will get to him, and she uses that to get wilhelm to back out of admitting it was him in the video and coming out. wilhelm has to choose between his own happiness and their reputation, is forced to think that denying it’s him in the video is the only way. he loves simon and wanted to live freely, but that pressure of legacy won out.

i don’t know if i think wille necessarily values the crown over his own personal happiness and relationships, like in the way maybe the queen does--i don’t think it comes from a place of “i’m lucky to be prince and owe my duty to the crown, so i do what i have to do to stay that way” (like how the queen said the crown is a privilege not a punishment), but from fear of destroying the legacy and his family. afterall, he still wanted to pursue a secret relationship with simon, i think if he fully valued the crown and uplifting legacy and fulfilling his duties he wouldn’t have tried that. he wouldn’t have made a point to tell simon he loves him. hopefully we get another season because i think with the iconic ending revolution rendition and him looking in the camera, which also parallels the shot of him being forced to apologize/go to hillerska, he is realizing that focusing on legacy is taking away what’s important to him, and he’s going to shake shit up.

august is definitely the most obsessed with legacy, wanting to carry on his father’s business, being persistent on befriending wilhelm and trying to social climb, wanting power and perfection with being prefect, rowing captain etcetera. he is so obsessed with perfection and reputation he gets addicted to drugs, he fucks with simon and makes him get stuff for parties he can’t afford because good parties will make him look better, he manipulates sara multiple times, he mostly wanted felice because of her nobility, he fucking films wilhelm and simon and OUTS him, his own cousin. he hates that wille has everything he wants but isn’t as interested in preserving and more importantly improving the legacy he’s inheriting. meanwhile august’s familial legacy is dwindling, and he holds on to the last bit of assets and names that he can.... v much sick and a weirdo that shows how harmful being obsessed with legacy is

the queen is of course v focused on legacy and it really breaks my heart and makes me angry that she doesn’t care about wilhelm’s happiness more than their reputation, and moreso doesn’t get august in trouble for literally leaking child p*rn of her kid for the sake of appearances?!?!?! like how is he even remotely trustworthy she is wrong for that! like i said earlier the obsession with legacy puts a strain on their mother/son relationship. she doesn’t even really say anything about wille’s sexuality or his relationship, and barely comforts him, mostly goes in with a plan she’s already concocted without him to fix everything. 

erik seemed to understand and accept his role as crown prince but obviously had issues with it as well, like when he makes the plan for him and wilhelm to run from the press, or when he tells wilhelm to enjoy himself while there aren’t so many eyes on him that care. erik shows someone who has more unconditional love and empathy but still has to focus on legacy and is much more inclined to continue his legacy, but we do see those glimpses over how even the most “ideal” attitude of preserving legacy causes issues.

felice is expected to live up to her mother’s legacy, of being an equestrian, of being the lucia, but she doesn’t want either of those things. her mother wants her to be thinner and straighten her hair, and find someone of nobility to be with. obviously she does find wilhelm attractive lol but i think the main reason she pursued him and definitely why she pursued august was because she was expected to social climb and have royal kids. felice feels the need to portray a false narrative of herself on social media to uphold a certain image of herself. it’s very fucked up that her mom wants those values instilled in her but i love that felice was putting up boundaries and pushing back against her mother and the narrative she’s supposed to live up to. her giving sara the role of lucia and focusing on supporting her friends more in the latter half of the season shows growth and i’m excited to see where her story goes. 

sara is interesting because she seems to want to reject the legacy of her family and being working class and to fit in with the elite of hillerska. sara hates micke, hates that simon contacted him because it’s bringing in this “shameful” and painful part of their past (which i mean is def fair). other than sara’s betrayal in 1.06, i think the scene where she tells her family that she wants to reside at hillerska really exemplifies where she’s at in her relation to legacy/class. after dining at hillerska and living amongst the elite she gets annoyed at eating around the TV, she blames her mother for not leaving micke sooner, she gets angry with simon for caring for her. she wants to lead her own life, be popular and wanted because people want her, not for pity (even though i think simon of course truly cares abt his sister she feels annoyed with his protection and care). felice says early on that she thinks sara doesn’t care what other’s think or having friends, and sara says she still wants friends though. i think sara’s biggest thing is she wants to belong, her and simon moved schools after she was bullied for being autistic so i think that definitely affected her even though she tries to act nonchalant about hillerska at first. we see sara’s longing to fit in in smaller ways at first, like her asking her mom for a better piece of her uniform because hers are “cheap” and already worn out. she gets annoyed at simon for chewing loudly, or her mother sitting casually at the table. as she gets closer to felice and madison and all the other students, the allure of the upper class and their lifestyle draws her in more. so much to the point where she gets very anxious and upset at the idea of her and simon leaving hillerska because he’s having his own crisis and doesn’t consider his pov. so much so that she effectively betrays simon and felice, the people she’s closest to, to make a deal (and make out lol) with august to room there and “be just like him”. personally i think sara’s attraction to august is mostly that allure of the elite and that he seemed to “desire” her when he kissed her because he was being a manipulative dickhead--again that want to fit in and be wanted. and  i think there is a really interesting angle of jealousy and competition in female friendships, even if it is really subtle or not intentionally insidious or anything, sara does slowly start to trying to assume all the roles/fashions/mannerisms of felice to live that life she wants. i do think felice and sara’s care for each other is genuine and one of my fave parts of the show, but i think a lot of people who experienced being a teen girl know how we are always pitted against each other even in our subconscious because of how society treats and values women.

simon seems to be the character that is least interested in upholding legacy and tradition or giving a fuck what anyone thinks (as omar said here lmao) and that makes him a really interesting foil to wilhelm. there could be something said about micke fearing that simon is following in his footsteps, but to me that plot more so reveals how the upper class (august) continually exploit the working class for their benefit, and the trappings of generational oppression. the other thing that can be said is simon signing up for private tutoring and rowing, but again i think that serves to further show that he is forced to “play” by the game of the elites because the school/society is corrupt, and also, that simon has further ambitions outside of where he’s at. he wants to get good grades because he wants to explore new places and avenues. to me simon’s biggest motivations are his passions, the things and people he loves--music, his family, wilhelm. he isn’t loyal to others just because he’s expected to be, or uphold a certain image but because he really cares. he doesn’t watch out for sara because that’s his expected role as her brother to do so, but because he cares. he wasn’t interested in knowing wilhelm because he’s a prince like everyone else, he makes it clear he thinks the royal family are privileged and exploitative, but he is interested because he saw the real wilhelm. he’s out and proud even though his elite classmates are more conservative, he doesn’t care about voicing his unpopular opinions, he has no problem walking away from august’s dickhead behavior or calling him out on his shit. simon doesn’t care if people don’t think of him in the best light. (the only exceptions ig are the drugs conflict and the video, though literally anyone would have a problem with that because it’s much deeper that public opinion and has ramifications and is deeply traumatic--but just adding that before someone is like “well actually!”) i also think it’s interesting that most of the songs simon sings has themes of pushing back against the societal norms, and being remembered in history, plus of course the revolution song motif, and how much those songs affect wilhelm, he seems to connect deeply, like he wishes he could do those things but simon is the one who gets to sing them and actually live them.

[storiesforallfandoms]

unconventional ~ pete davidson & rook

word count: 1788

request?: yes!

“I can’t remember if I requested this already or not but can you do a fluffy throuple between Reader Pete Davidson and Rook”

description: she never thought she’d ever end up in a poly relationship, until her best friend introduced her to the two guys of her dreams

pairing: pete davidson x female!reader x rook

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

As corny as it is to say, I never expected to have a boyfriend, let alone to end up with two.

I was never the most popular with guys. I grew up with a group of guy friends and was often viewed by the opposite sex as “just one of the boys”. I was even told once in high school by a guy I had a crush on that he thought I was a lesbian because of it.

I tried not to let it get to me, but when you watch all the girls around you getting asked out on dates, or you see your guy friends starting to get girlfriends (or at least hook ups), it’s hard not to think something is wrong with you because no one is showing interest in you.

Colson always made jokes when he started getting famous that he was going to find me a guy using his fame. He started taking me on tour with the rest of our friend group (again, all guys) and trying to get me laid at after parties. Of course, I never turned down a casual hook up here and there, but one night stands don’t usually lead to relationships.

Enter two of Colson’s best friends: Rook and Pete.

I knew Rook for a long time due to Colson. I had never viewed him as anything more than another guy friend until the two of us got very drunk and hooked up one night. At the time, we had both decided that it was a one time thing and it would never happen again, but...come on, how many times have you heard that story before?

I was conflicted over my feelings for Rook when Colson introduced me to Pete as well. I knew immediately there was a connection between the two of us, something more than just acquaintances or even friends. But at the same time, I was still debating my feelings for Rook.

I felt so confused over everything, and it was obvious that I was constantly in my head because Rook pulled me aside backstage one night to make sure I was okay. I wanted to tell him that everything was fine, but I was so confused and overthinking everything that I accidentally blurted everything out before I could stop myself.

For some reason, I expected Rook to be angry. I expected him to tell me off for having feelings for both him and Pete, or for him to be weirded out by the fact that I had feelings for him at all. He had never showed signs of liking me back after all, there wasn’t any reason for me to truly believe that he liked me the way I liked him.

I was shocked when his response was, “Well...have you considered you may be polyamorous?”

And that’s how I found myself in a relationship with the two guys that I loved more than anything in the world, and guys that loved me back as well. We were an unconventional couple, and both Rook and Pete’s fans were very confused about the aspects of the relationship when we first announced it, but we were happy and that’s all that mattered.

On a beautiful, sunny day in Los Angeles, Pete and I decided to go soak up the sun while Rook was out touring with Colson. We went to a local park and set up our spot far enough away from people that we knew we wouldn’t be spotted by fans. I was laid back on a blanket with sunglasses covering my eyes as the hot sun beamed down on my bikini clad body. Pete was sat up next to me with his back against a tree we were sat next to, reading over a script for his upcoming movie role.

My phone chimed between us. Pete’s eyes flickered towards it for a moment before he declared, “You have a text.”

“Thanks Captain Obvious,” I teased as I reached for it. I tried to shade my eyes so I could continue to lay down, but the glare from the sun made it impossible to see the screen, so I sighed as I had to sit up. “It’s from Rook.”

The text read, “Hey my beauty. Sorry for such a late text, I only just woke up. How are you today baby?”

“What’s he saying?” Pete asked.

“Just asking how I am. He says he slept in. I’m assuming him and the guys were up until like 7am this morning.”

Pete paused to look down at his own phone. “He didn’t message the group chat.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “No, he just texted me.”

Pete feigned an angry face. “That’s rude of him. Doesn’t he care how I’m doing today?”

I laughed and rolled my eyes at him before turning my attention back to responding to Rook.

“Hello my love. I’m good! Pete and I are out soaking up the sun. He says he’s offended you didn’t message the group chat to ask how he was too 🤣”

A few moments later, my phone chimed again.

“Tell him I said fuck you 🤣”

I giggled and laid myself back down to continue my sunbathing.

Despite some bickering between the two of them, Pete and Rook were actually very good friends and respected one another a lot. While Rook had suggested the poly relationship, I wasn’t sure how Pete was going to react to the idea of dating someone who was also dating another guy. Surprisingly, he was really into the idea and didn’t mind that Rook would be on the other end of the relationship at all.

It also surprised people that both Rook and Pete were so into the relationship and weren’t just constantly fighting for me. I understand that some people don’t understand poly relationships - I didn’t either until I entered one - but some of the shit people said to us was very rude. It was like they expected us to be super toxic to one another despite all of us being in a consensual and loving relationship.

It wasn’t long until my phone chimed again. I almost groaned in frustration at having to sit up again. Pete laughed at me. “Maybe you should put it on silent.”

“That would require me to have brain cells, Peter,” I teased.

It was another text from Rook, but this time this one confused me.

“I hope you’re taking good care of our girl while I’m gone. I miss her so much.”

I tilted my head in confusion, trying to make sense of the text that had been sent to me. It took me way to long to realize the text was probably meant to be sent to Pete and not to me, and I couldn’t stop the laugh that burst from my mouth. Pete looked over at me in amusement as I clapped a hand over my mouth.

“Must’ve been a funny text,” he said.

“Actually, it was a text meant for you.”

I held my phone out for Pete to see, and he laughed at the error as well. “Man, how did he fuck that one up so bad?”

“Probably has the same name for both of us in his phone. ‘Beauty’, mine with a black heart and yours with the two pink hearts.”

“Why do I have the two pink hearts?”

“Cause he loves you more than he loves me.”

Pete laughed and shook his head at me. “Just let him know he sent the text to the wrong person. The poor guy.”

I turned back to my phone to respond to Rook until something hit me. “Wait, do you and Rook text about me often?”

Pete nodded. “Yeah. You didn’t know that?”

“Of course I didn’t! Neither one of you told me that.”

“I figured you just assumed we did.”

I shook my head. “Not really. I didn’t know there was a reason for you both to talk about me outside of the group chat. I figured when it was just the two of you you just talked like the boys.”

Pete chuckled and extended his arms to me. I smiled and leaned back in them, resting my body against his chest.

“We can’t help but get on the topic of you whenever we talk,” he told me. “We both love you so much, and we worry about you. We don’t mean to talk about you a lot, but if one of us is with you while the other is away we tend to start asking about how you are and talk about taking care of you and stuff, like Rook said when he texted you then thinking it was me.”

“Does that happen often?”

“Probably too often,” Pete responded. “Most of our conversations are about you, actually. We’re like two school boys talking about a girl we have a crush on.”

I giggled at the thought and rested my head against Pete.

For some reason, knowing that Pete and Rook often talked about me by themselves made me feel fuzzy inside. It was sweet that they both cared so much, and I was beyond grateful that they were so okay with this relationship we were in that they talked civilly in private.

I looked down at my phone again, the words on the screen staring up at me for a while. I decided that instead of responding through text, I pressed the call button and held the phone up to my ear. It rang for a short period of time before Rook’s voice filled my ears.

“Hey beauty.”

“Hi baby,” I responded. “Just wanted to know who you were telling to take care of your girl.”

Pete tried to stifle his laugh as I was met with silence on the other end. After a moment, Rook finally said, “Oh shit! I sent that to the wrong person, didn’t I?”

“You did,” I confirmed. “You sent it to me instead.”

“Well fuck.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Sorry, baby.”

“Don’t apologize. I think it’s sweet that you and Pete care so much about me.”

“Of course we care about you! You’re our girl. We both love you so much.”

I tried to hold back the tears of joy that were welling up in my eyes. I was glad I had my sunglasses on still to cover my eyes.

“I love you, too,” I told him, then angled my head to face Pete. “And I love you, too.”

Pete smiled at me and kissed me. Through the phone, Rook called, “Tell him to give you a kiss from me too! I’ll be home soo, baby.”

When I hung up from our call, Pete happily obliged Rook’s request.

[heybeybey]

and it was your heart on the line

Rating: Explicit

Genre: Angst/Romance

Pairing: Rivetra | Levi x Petra

Word Count: 8,706

Summary: Turns out, it wasn't a request. It was an order. If he denies again, then it's an ultimatum. Pressured to continue the Ackerman line, Levi is forced to choose between his commitment to giving meaning to his comrades' deaths or sacrificing the future of the woman who have always been devoted to him.

(Anon Ask | AO3 Link)

(It's also Smutty Saturday so here, have smut + ANGST. MOSTLY ANGST THO)

It's been a month since he learned about his true relation to Kenny.

Two weeks since he, Hange and Erwin traced his Ackerman ancestry.

A week since they found out what his last name means and how inhuman his strength truly is.

And two days since he received that fucking memo.

Captain Levi Ackerman,

We were recently made aware of the extent of your capabilities. After much discussion in the court, we believe that you will be doing humanity a great service by continuing the Ackerman line.

We look forward to your cooperation.

A great service his ass.

A few days ago, he, Erwin and Hange found out that the Ackerman line used to be the bodyguards of the royal family in the past and that the reason why they were so skilled is because they are titans in human form. They were then persecuted for shit knows what and the whole clan scattered throughout the walls in the past hundred years.

It also turns out that this ability is accessible to all Ackermans. They haven't found out if it's automatically passed down but Levi noted that there was a time when he felt something jolt in him when faced in a life or death situation (which was almost a daily basis for him back in the Underground).

Now, they want to reinstate the line to help the military progress.

The way Levi sees it, the government basically wants him to breed as if he's a cow in a nobleman's farm.

Levi ignores the memo for the next few days and when they sent a follow up for his reply, he didn't hesitate in telling them to fuck off. That's when things went south.

Turns out, it wasn't a request. It was an order. If he denies again, then it's an ultimatum.

They argued that the captain's citizenship above ground is tethered to his role in the Scouts. Denying this request would be taken as an act of insubordination, no matter how much Erwin forgives the said "offense". Moreover, it's an insult to the crown.

The greedy fucks from the top brass gave him two weeks or he'll be kicked back down to the Underground. Since he's the only known Ackerman, he can't push this responsibility on someone else's plate.

- - -

Only his Special Operations team were made aware of the situation. Erwin said that his squad deserves to know why their captain might be out of commission for at least a week... or why he'd possibly be kicked out of the scouts soon.

Levi silently took in the horror on their faces when he broke the news.

"Captain, are they even allowed to do that?"

"That's just... sick."

"Maybe there's a way to delay it for a few more years, sir?"

The only one who didn't speak up was Petra. She just watched the four men converse, with Levi and Eld discussing what the next steps are in case the captain will be leaving the scouts.

The thought leaves a bitter taste in all of their mouths. Survey Corps without Captain Levi? They can only see their success rates getting knocked down further. At the same time, they also don't know which decision to support, knowing that the captain will be sacrificing himself either way.

- - -

Petra has been spacing out since that day. Sometimes, her squad needed to snap her out of it during trainings. She'd been a total recluse, rarely joining them at the dining table during their morning coffee. She'd still bring the captain's tea late at night but other than that, she looks more like a ghost floating around in their squad's side of the floor. They think it's heartbreak since her admiration for the captain is already an open secret between the five of them. No one would've even imagined what she was planning.

She was able to snap herself out of it two days after, and now she's barging into Commander Erwin's office during lunch time.

"Commander Erwin, there must be another way," Petra pleads. She rarely goes to Erwin's office alone and if she's here right now, the captain must've not been aware that his subordinate would approach this topic straight with the commander.

Erwin sighs. "Ms. Ral, I appreciate your concern for the captain. Believe me, I've personally reached out to Zackley regarding this. There's nothing much I can do. I've already swayed Levi's citizenship to our favor once."

It also doesn't help that the government sees the Scouts as the most useless of all three military branches. Learning about how powerful Levi truly is was the only thing that reignited their belief in their regiment after five consecutive failed expeditions and thousands of coins wasted.

The commander looks at Petra and he can tell from her face that the gears are turning in her head. He frowns, having an inkling of what her next words will be. Erwin knows how loyal Petra is to her captain. It's something that the commander himself leveraged and exploited during expeditions.

"Would... if I do it, will that...?"

Erwin's face softens, meeting her eyes in concern. If they were to ask for his opinion as commander, it would be a waste if they allow Petra to take the responsibility. She's one of the best soldiers in the corps and her ability to sync with any team they place her in was an asset that you wouldn't find in any other soldier.

But as Levi's friend, he'd rather not order the captain around when it comes to this matter. The part of him who's committed to humanity's survival knows what the right answer is to Levi's situation, and he knows the captain will choose what will always be best for his soldiers.

"Petra, you know that Levi wouldn't allow it."

"But does it even matter what we think anymore? Commander, they're going to take the captain away from us."

Erwin is quiet for a moment, careful eyes assessing how serious Petra truly is. "Are you sure about this Petra?"

"You know I'll do anything for our cause." Adamant and unwavering. Levi chose well.

Erwin nods. "I'll talk to Zackley what it will mean if the captain chooses a subordinate instead of a commoner. Normally, sleeping with your commanding officer would lead to a dishonourable discharge."

Petra flinches at that.

"But... we can all agree that this is a different case."

- - -

Petra comes to Levi that night. At first, he just assumed it's their usual evening tea time.

"I-I talked to Commander Erwin this morning," she starts, setting down his tea on the desk. He glances back at her for a moment before turning back to his paperwork.

"What about?" Levi said. "You do know that if you have a concern, you can also tell me. I'm the one responsible for you."

"It's not a concern," she replies quickly. "Well... it is but-"

Her hesitance finally stops him. "Since when have you held back whenever we have tea together, Petra?"

"Captain... I-I can..."

He doesn't turn his chair around, waiting for Petra to speak.

"I'm saying that if it will greatly serve humanity, I'm willing to have-," she gulps, pushing the fear from her face to look at him determinedly. "I'm willing to be the one to help you continue the Ackerman bloodline."

Levi's grateful his back was turned. If it wasn't, Petra would've seen how his slanted eyes widened with horror and concern at her words. He feels a headache starting to come along, and he schools his face before finally turning around, assessing hers. His heart fell when he finds that she somehow looks both determined and scared at the same time.

"No."

Petra deflates a little bit at that, seemingly both relieved and hurt from the rejection.

"Please captain, I don't want you to be forced out of the Survey Corps. The scouts need you. I-" She cuts herself off at that, but her silence was loud. He'd known for a while now the depth of Petra's devotion.

"Petra, are you even aware of what you're offering?"

"Of course I know!" She snaps, so unlike her to disrespect her captain outright. "Captain, I wouldn't have offered myself if I'm not aware of what I'll be giving up."

"Then you're fucking stupid for even wanting to go through with this. We don't even know how many they're demanding from me."

He stands up from his chair and grabs her upper arm in a bruising grip, almost desperate to get his point across. "You'll be forced to leave the Scouts, give up your career to take care of a-"

It's rare for him to be speechless, and he finds that the word baby can't even pass through his mouth these days.

"Sir, I just want to help..." Petra says quietly, gaze averted.

"This is not up for debate Petra." He looks at her coldly. "Leave."

"But captain-" He lets her arm go. Petra's expressive round eyes are starting to tear up.

"I said get out."

He watches her hurry out, trying to ignore the fact that she was furiously wiping her eyes as she leaves.

- - -

They went out for an expedition one morning and Levi was somewhat grateful for the distraction.

Reality only came crashing down on him again when he'd watched another soldier die. He seemed new and young, looking more like a cadet than an actual soldier. Probably fresh out of the training corps but died way too soon because he chose the wrong regiment. If Levi remembers correctly, this was one of the newer scouts who had the guts to approach him with bright and eager eyes and asked for advice.

"What's your name?" Levi asks the soldier. He kneels down beside the younger man.

"E-Ethan, sir," the soldier rasps. Levi silently nods in acknowledgement. He looks up, finding Petra tending to a fatally injured scout. Eld and Gunther was assisting a female veteran who lost a leg. He can't seem to find Oluo anywhere.

"C-Captain..." Ethan struggles with his words and Levi can see how his gaze is starting to lose focus.

"I'll avenge your sacrifice, Ethan." Levi says as he holds the young boy's bloody hand, hearing him take his last breath. "I promise you that."

Levi apologizes to Petra in his own way as they wrap up the expedition. He approaches her as she was about to mount her horse.

"Petra." She looks to him with teary eyes. She does this after every expedition, crying for all the fallen soldiers as her own way of commemorating their sacrifice.

"Yes, sir?" she replies in a gentle voice, as if he didn't just make her cry two nights before.

Levi hands her a white handkerchief. "Here."

She blinks up at him for a bit but accepts his offer. He never says sorry outright, but he and Petra have always had this way of communicating where words aren't needed to be said.

They were running out of time. Levi tried to take his mind off the problem by training until his own body gives up on him. A huge part of him have already accepted that he'll be marched back down to that shithole by the end of the week.

Hell, he already packed up the limited possessions that he has.

"Levi, you know this is for the scouts. Losing you would mean losing a battalion for the Survey Corps," Erwin argued.

"Are you asking me to force a woman to become the government's baby making machine?" Levi snaps. "Because that's sick as fuck Erwin!"

Hange told him once that there was a major decrease in the scouts' death toll since he joined. Levi didn't want to believe at first that a single soldier was enough to make that much of a difference, but Hange's numbers was more than enough proof. Since he joined, they didn't need to send 10 men on a dangerous mission when a single soldier can do all the dirty work and still live.

Erwin pointed out that many would jump at the opportunity to lie with humanity's strongest. Levi just wanted to vomit at the title.

How can something that used to boost his soldiers' morale now turn into a fucked up ultimatum that preyed on his commitment to making his comrades' deaths matter?

He supposes that there are other women. He can even just detach himself from the whole situation after the woman gets pregnant and let her raise the kid.

But Levi has an intimate relationship with abandonment. Of being used and treated as nothing more than just a tool. It was all he knew growing up with gangs in the underground, and eventually in the corps as comrades die and his strength used to the regiment's advantage.

He's not that big of a piece of shit as to use someone and leave a child fatherless until they come of age to become a soldier. If he was going to have a kid, he'd make sure that they at least have a good childhood to compensate for all the shit they'd be pressured in. He'd want to be there every time he leaves the walls—not as a captain commanding his soldier but as a father ensuring his child's safety.

Levi also feels sick at the thought of just bedding anyone. Whenever he thinks of this option, his mind would take him back to a dark closet, deep in the underground, where he'd hide as his mother takes on another client. He'd be no better than the men who he watched come and go from his mother's room in the brothel, leaving her crying and filthy once they're done. It feels as if he'd be disrespecting her memory this way. Spitting on his mother's grave would've been more respectful than this.

The only other option is to drag the woman he'd been secretly throwing longing looks at, so willing and devoted, down with him.

- - -

The night before the government will come knocking on their doors, Petra came to his office again.

"You're up for promotion." This was his last resort.

If she accepts, then he'll be leaving tomorrow for the underground. He doesn't really know which outcome to hope for.

Levi doesn't give her the chance to reply, silently handing her a folder. He wants her to understand the gravity of this situation. Of how much of a double-edged sword her devotion truly is.

"I've already signed it and Erwin's just waiting for you to accept before he approves. We'll be raising your rank, complete with a 25% salary increase. You're still in the Special Ops, but now with the opportunity to command your own team outside of our missions, or whenever Erwin and I see it fit during an expedition. This is a step closer to fully becoming a squad leader two or three years from now."

Petra sighs and shakes her head at that. She didn't even hesitate as she takes away the folder from his hand and sets it down on his office table.

"Please, Captain." Petra pleads, hand moving to delicately hold his. "The scouts need you."

The face of the soldier who died yesterday, (Ethan, he corrects himself) flashes on his mind. Levi's promise to the young man rings phantomly in his ears.

I'll avenge your sacrifice, I promise you that.

Levi surrenders.

- - -

"Captain?" Petra removed the last button of her uniform, her eyes on the floor, leaving her in only her cotton underwear. He watches her while he sits on the edge of the bed, eyes taking in her every move as she shrugs off all her clothing.

"Call me Levi," he corrects her. "Please."

"Levi..." She closes the gap between them, climbing on the bed and reaching out a hand to cup his face to help him relax. Petra gives him a shy smile when he leans closer to her touch, while he settles a hand at the small of her back. She leans forward, kissing his jaw and sliding her hand down to his chest to feel the quick drum of his heartbeat. "It's okay, Levi. I trust you."

Petra settles herself on his lap and gently turns his face up to hers, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. His hands trail up her upper arms and she involuntarily shivered when he cups her cheeks to deepen the kiss. Emboldened by how receptive she is of his touch, Levi trails his mouth from her lips to her cheek, gradually making his way down to her neck.

Petra's eyes are closed, biting on her lower lip. She tangles a hand against his hair to pull him closer, encouraging him further. He feels himself getting hard fast when she aligns the heat of her core against his.

"Do you want me to turn off the lights?" She asks, testing the waters by grinding down on him. He shakes his head no, tucking a ginger strand of hair behind her ear. The last thing he needs is to feel like this is a casual romp with a stranger. He wants to know it's her.

He runs his hands against her bare thighs before twisting their bodies around so she'd end up laying back on his bed. She gave a quiet huff at the impact, but Levi was quick to lean down and kiss her intensely. He fears he might come faster than they need him to if she continues bucking against him and they need to pace themselves.

Levi plans to worship Petra tonight, because she deserves nothing less. He looks down at her and meets her eyes for a bit before he's trailing down kisses throughout her body. When he's closer to her chest area, Petra removes her bra off for him and his throat goes dry at the sight. She looks up at Levi with half-lidded eyes, guiding his hands to knead her breasts. The captain doesn't waste time, groping then leaning down to swirl his tongue over a nipple before tending to the other.

Petra whimpers with his every touch. When he makes a bold move to slip his hand down her panties, that's when she gives a low moan.

"Is this okay?" he asks quietly and Petra nods. He starts to massage her clit, feeling her core starting to dampen as his strokes become more intentional.

He soon replaces his fingers with this tongue, earning him a keening sound from the woman below him. Levi only pulls away when he's satisfied at how much of a dazed mess Petra is, hands gripping his black hair to stabilize herself. He levels himself again with her and Petra latches her mouth against him, once again grinding her naked pussy against his cock, still clothed in his pants.

They've both lost the initial shyness and hesitation from earlier on, now both driven by their eagerness to push their pleasure further. He's hard by this point, feeling the dampness and heat between her thighs through his clothed lower regions. Petra continues to grind herself against him and Levi gets harder at the thought of how she's fully naked and vulnerable below him. She desperately bucks up against his hips, delicate but scarred hands reaching down to finally start unbuckling his pants.

He allows her to shrug off his pants while he removes his white undershirt, towering over her. Petra watches him take off his top with a primal look in her eyes, sitting up and reaching out to pass her hands against the lines of his firm abdomen. Her eyes flares up at the sight of his cock, hand reaching out to touch before Levi grabs her wrist.

"I won't be able to last long if you do that." He says. Petra understands, opening her legs further instead to allow him in.

He positions himself between her thighs and looks at her one last time, making sure there's no doubt on her face. Petra, being the fucking amazing woman that she is, only nods at him with a small reassuring smile.

Levi grunts at how deliciously tight she is when he finally enters her, while Petra's arms found its way around his back to cling to him. It proves to be a struggle because her wet walls squeezes around him and he finds it hard to pull his head out of the pleasurable haze. He tries to pace himself, giving them both enough time to adjust to the feeling. When he feels Petra's hips slightly bucking up as if to egg him on, that's when he starts to move.

It was heaven and hell at the same time. For a second or two, he'd like to believe that this is a moment built on months of romancing and awkward dates. He lets his mind wander away from what it actually is—a task, a burden placed on his shoulders for an ability he never even asked for. And he dragged the bravest and most capable woman he knows down with him, willing as she may be.

"Harder, Levi," she breathes out on his ear, snapping his head from spiralling down in self-hatred at their situation.

Levi gives into her wishes, bracing himself by leaning down and pulling her hips closer. He starts to work towards an almost bruising pace, wanting to find a good balance between pleasure and pain for her. Her arms are encircled around him, hands running up and down the hard muscles on his back. Levi looks at the way Petra's breasts bounce with every snap of his hips, mesmerized. Her mouth was open in an o-shape, eyes unfocused as she surrenders to the heat of the moment, cheeks flushed, nipples continuously grazing against his chest with every thrust.

"Yes yes yes," she breathlessly chants. "Fuck me, Levi."

He'd dreamed of Petra like this in the past. But as her commanding officer, all he could really do is lock away those depraved thoughts and quietly steam in lust over his ginger subordinate. Being with her right now couldn't even compare to the nights he jacked off to the thought of her.

He can already tell that Petra's close with the way she's clenching him. Her pants are more desperate now and she bites on his shoulder blade as she reaches her own climax, and he eventually feels her hold on him slacken. Tired and pleased, Petra allows her head to fall back on the pillow and takes in his face to watch the emotions passing through his face.

The feel of her wet core clenching around him was more than enough to edge him closer towards his limit. The rhythm of his thrusts starts to stutter, his primal need to reach release urging him forward.

Petra starts moaning again, turned on at his uncontrollable lust. He waits until she eventually comes again, watching her fall tiredly on the bed, before allowing himself to let go.

One thrust, two, and then they tip past the point of no return. Petra makes a low noise once he comes inside her, her hips rising to meet his final thrust. Lost in pleasure, Levi had to grip hard on the bed frame above her to compose himself. Petra holds his gaze—a mix of adoration and desperation—through it all.

They both pant from the thrill of their coupling and Levi finally collapses on Petra. She pulls him close, allowing him to lay his head on her chest.

He didn't even know when he started crying. He only realized it when he felt Petra brushing away the tears silently running down his cheek with her thumb.

What kind of lowlife am I? Here he is, crying like a little shit when he was the one who'll be subjecting her to whatever hell that awaits them in the next few months. Female soldiers are normally allowed maternity leave but since his case is different, the higher ups demanded that at least one parent will see through the child's growth.

Everyone assumes that it wouldn't be the captain.

He didn't have to sacrifice his career and position. He doesn't need to sit around and nurture a living being inside him for almost a year. Petra will be the one who'll be taking the bulk of it all.

You're fucking selfish. You're a coward.

"I'm sorry," he whispers softly against her skin. He stays where he is, head laid on top of her bare chest and listening to the thump of her heart. Petra was just quiet for awhile, gently running her fingers through his jet-black hair as she stares up at the window and at the night sky.

"Levi... remember when you told us before to choose the choice that we'll regret the least?"

He doesn't answer back, not really knowing what to say at her hushed question.

"I chose this," Petra continues. "Because you going back to the Underground is the consequence that would kill me the most."

She gently tilts his head up so he can meet her eyes, her hand shaking from the barrage of emotion. Petra looks at his face, awe and adoration shining in her amber eyes as she traces a finger against the frown lines between his brows.

"You're a great man, Captain. I've never met someone who cares so much for his soldiers' lives more than you do." Petra continues. "I truly believe that you'll be the one who'll lead us outside these walls."

"I don't deserve you Petra."

She smiles sadly at that. "You have me either way, Levi. I'm here to stay."

- - -

The next nine months were... Well, they didn't even know how to describe it.

They decided to reveal it to their team on the first month of her pregnancy. That led to Eld's fist colliding with Levi's face. The biggest surprise was that the captain allowed his second-in-command to disrespect him in such a way.

"Eld, no!" Petra screamed.

"Captain, you told me before that you recruited Petra for her skills," Eld said. "I didn't know you'd be the type to take advantage of young girls!"

Levi understood where the younger man was coming from, knowing how Eld and Gunther treated Petra like a little sister. Oluo, on the other hand, just watched the exchange with a crestfallen look.

The guys only believed that Levi didn't force her into anything when they saw how Petra fretted over the captain's bruised face the whole afternoon. She'd constantly throw them a glare as she cups an ice pack on Levi's jaw and would constantly follow him around to make sure that he won't get attacked by the three guys. Not that they would even have the guts to attempt it, nor would the captain let it pass the second time around.

Frankly, Levi's grateful that he has a team who looks out for each other, even when they're not beyond the walls. That's one of the reasons why he trusts them. He doesn't know where he stands now as their captain and he knows these turn of events will greatly shift or even damage their squad's dynamics.

As the month comes to a close and with another mission beyond the walls in the works, Erwin pulled Petra out of all expeditions, much to the surprise of the other Scouts. Her role for the next three months were mostly to brief new recruits along with some clerical work before she closes this chapter of her life.

- - -

On the second month, they traveled to Karanese district to finally tell Petra's father. Levi had never met the man before, and the captain was quiet the whole way to her home town. If Petra didn't know better, she'd think that Levi's nervous.

The truth is that all he feels is guilt.

He knocked up the man's daughter and he was her commanding officer. What's worse is that they didn't do it because they were so hopelessly in love. Come to think of it, it would've been better if they chalked it up to them not being able to keep their hands off each other.

He'd be lucky if Petra's father doesn't assume that Levi just turned his daughter into a breeding stock.

"Petra!" The older man greets them. "Captain Levi, it's so nice to finally meet you. Petra told me a lot about you in her letters."

Levi takes a few moments to revel in the warm welcome, thinking that this day would probably end up in more heartbreak because of him.

"Mr. Ral." He accepts the man's handshake.

"Please, come in! I've prepared enough for the three of us. You're not allergic to anything, right captain?"

None of them mentioned just yet what they were there for and Levi was content just to hear Petra chatting excitedly with her father. Mr. Ral seems like a friendly man, and it's no wonder he ended up having a daughter who's such a sweetheart. The atmosphere in the room was light as father and daughter caught up on each other's lives.

Until Petra has to run to the bathroom to vomit.

He saw the rising concern on her father's face as they listen to Petra retching in the bathroom, and that whole five minutes of waiting for her to come back was absolute torture. Levi, for all his bravery when fighting titans, couldn't even meet the older man's eyes.

"Captain Levi, why are you really here?" Mr. Ral cautiously asks him.

The older man's face cracks when he finally learned the true nature of Petra's pregnancy. He couldn't look at Levi after that.

"Captain, I think you should leave." Mr. Ral says, voice cold that he couldn't believe that the warm welcome he received earlier on came from the same man. Levi didn't need to be told twice.

"Dad..."

Levi sighs as he stands up. "Thank you for the food, Mr. Ral."

"Dad, it's not his fault." Petra tries again as Levi moves to the door. "It's my decision. You know how Captain Levi is important to the Survey Corps."

"But why you, Petra?" Mr. Ral snaps. "You know, I was concerned when you told me that you were the only girl in his squad."

"Please, stop." Petra sobs.

"If I'd only known that I really did have a reason to be worried, I would've demanded you to come home."

Levi silently listens to the whole exchange from outside of the room, eyes downcast.

- - -

Petra signed her retirement on the third month. High from the mood swings brought on by the pregnancy, she cried and even hugged the commander. Erwin just awkwardly patted her head and told Petra that it might be best to let go now before Levi slices his hand off.

She also went to Mitras this month, meeting the people who forced Levi into this situation for the first time. Petra was shaking in anger as she walked inside the room, throwing the officials the dirtiest glare she could manage.

Petra didn't even bother to be respectful that whole afternoon as they brief her on what they expect from her, and what can or cannot be public information.

"I used to hope that the child won't inherit your glare but now I'm more scared to imagine if they got Ms. Ral's," Erwin whispered to Levi, watching as Petra backtalks another official.

Levi shrugs. "You haven't seen her when she gets too competitive during trainings."

On the same month, they ended up sleeping together without the goal of furthering the Ackerman bloodline.

They haven't touched each other since the doctor confirmed that Petra's already pregnant. Her every test was recorded and reported to the fuckers back at Mitras and that thought alone was enough to squeeze out the arousal in Levi's body.

Somehow, they found themselves making out in his office on this night.

"Why didn't we do this during our evening tea before?" Levi asked against her neck, peppering kisses on every inch of skin he can reach.

Petra laughs, elongating her neck further to give him access. "Gee, captain. I didn't know you wanted to be court-martialled so bad."

She's currently in civilian clothing since her last day with the scouts was yesterday. Her dress was easier to access and he'd long since unbuttoned the first few buttons that covered her breasts.

Fuck it, he thought as he moves away from his office chair and settles more comfortably on the couch, with Petra on his lap. He looks up at her, eyes alight in lust as he takes in her breasts spilling out of her dress, chest heaving and orange hair dishevelled. He hurriedly tries to unzip out of his own clothing, eagerly kissing her as she slides down his cock.

After a whole week of sex a few months ago, Levi thought he's already used to the feel of Petra around him. Egged on by their own baser instincts despite the situation, they fucked every chance they can get and it was the closest Levi had to a break. It would've been a blissful escapade if he didn't know any better, and the guilt would eat him raw every time he ejaculates inside her.

But for some reason, sex with her right now feels different. Still heated and pleasurable, because of course— it's Petra, but something has shifted between them. He feels lighter, freer.

He's careful as he bounces Petra above him, but still careful not to hurt her. Levi worships every part of her that he could reach without breaking away from the pace that they'd set, while Petra pulls against his hair and leaves her own marks on his chiseled skin.

It's the first time they had slept together without feeling as if someone's keeping a close eye on them.

This moment together is theirs.

- - -

They feel the baby move on the fourth month of her pregnancy.

Levi was the one who first felt it when he was laying his head on her lap. He was quietly reading a report while Petra was knitting a few socks when he felt a poke on the side of his head that was cozied up to her belly.

"Okay, stop it woman!" He scolds and sits up, thinking that she was messing with him. Levi pauses when he sees that Petra is tearing up.

"He kicked."

"What?"

"The baby." Levi's face slackens at that, eyes wide with wonder dropping to her tummy. She runs both hands over the skin, stops and smiles, before taking his wrist to place his own hand on one spot.

Sure enough, Levi did feel that faint poke. He lifts his other hand so he can place both on her belly. Emotion overwhelms him and he swallowed to keep himself at bay.

"Hey, kid."

On the fifth month, Levi was able to strong-arm the higher-ups to give him a goddamn house. Petra knows that this thought would continue to amuse her for years.

From what she heard from Erwin, Levi demanded that the child needs a nice place to grow up in. Since his salary wasn't worth shit despite his high rank in the scouts, it still would take him a long time to make a downpayment.

They approved the request and they moved in a few days shy of her sixth month. It was a simple house, complete with two floors and three bedrooms. One room in the first floor while another two above. Petra suggested that maybe the third bedroom can be his office but he refused.

"You're thinking of opening a pastry shop once the kid's here, right? You can use that space."

"Hmm... but that will still take some time." Petra answers, her voice taking on a teasing lilt. "Maybe we can use it to store all your brooms and cleaning solutions instead."

They once talked about what Petra plans to do once the child is born. Of course, most of her hours will be spent taking care of the baby but knowing Petra, she's not the type who'd sit around and rely on him for the rest of her life. They're still not sure if she'll be able to rejoin the scouts years from now, even when Levi tried telling her that maybe he can find a way to work around it the top brass' shitty conditions. They decided instead to focus more on what they can control now, and he suggested that he was able to save enough that they can use that as a capital for whatever she wanted to do.

As they were fixing their new house, Petra was also surprised that he was setting up his side on the master's bedroom.

Petra wanted to sleep beside him every night, of course. They've already been doing so since that first time they had sex after her pregnancy was confirmed. But Petra thought that it's just going to be her who will move in because the house was a good two hours away from the barracks, making it a hassle for Levi to go back and forth everyday. Petra tells him that she'd be alright with him only coming home for the weekends if it will save him a 4-hour commute every single day.

Levi brushed off her concerns and proceeded to set up the nursery room instead.

"Will a baby really give a fuck about all these colors?" He crudely asks, looking at all the paint palettes in his hand.

- - -

The sixth month was slightly harder. Petra thinks that it may be because the reality that she's now out of the Survey Corps, the one thing that gave meaning to her life for four years, is settling in on her.

Her closest friends in the scouts would visit her a few times every month. Hange's squad, sometimes accompanied by Nanaba, would drop by and Levi had to control Hange from turning Petra and his child into one of their experiments.

"Aww, Levi. I'm just trying to be a good aunt!"

"By trying to feed Petra one of your shitty concoctions?" He snaps back, taking the bottle with the godforsaken liquid as far away as he can from the mother of his child. Petra has to stop Levi from completely banning Hange from their home after that.

Eld, Oluo and Gunther visit her as much as they can.

"Wow, you look like a ball." Oluo blurts out when he sees Petra, earning him a slap at the back of his head from Gunther.

"Bozado, this is the reason why you still don't have a girlfriend." Eld said, smirking. "The captain has shittier social skills than you and he's now going to be a father. Up your game a bit."

Gunther grunts at Eld's quip, knowing that Oluo would take that differently. "Way to go Eld. As if the cravat's not worse enough."

Their visits make Petra feel as if it's just another morning in the barracks, except she now has a round belly. Gunther always asks about how she's feeling while Oluo would brag that he'd be the greatest uncle the kid will ever have. Eld indulges her in her cravings and always brings a basket of strawberries whenever the three of them visit.

She also learned that Levi never chose another scout to take over her place.

"Captain said that it doesn't really make a difference if he adds another member," Gunther informs Petra. "He screened a few. All of them ran away crying."

Oluo chuckles. "Remember when he screamed at them that they're all useless and would be good as titan shit on the next expedition?"

"Please, we all know he's just comparing all of them to Petra. Man's way too in love with you, Pet." Eld replies and Petra blushes.

"If you're done gossiping about me, you're all free to get your asses out here. It's late." Levi suddenly pipes up from the door. The three men shuts up, salutes and scrambles out after saying their goodbyes to Petra, along with promises to visit whenever they can.

"Welcome back," Petra greets, kissing him on the cheek.

"Did any of them give you trouble?"

"If anything, Oluo will give you more trouble." Petra giggles, having had a conversation with Levi about Oluo's tendency to imitate the captain. "He saw your parenting books by the way. I think he's setting up a budget so he can buy himself some."

Levi groans at that.

Through the months, she'd learned that bright little Nifa was recently selected to be transferred to Hange's team. Nanaba would share stories about her promotion to being second-in-command in Squad Mike. Oluo recently got a pay raise and he enthusiastically boasts that he more than deserved it, but Petra knows he's just overjoyed that it will now be enough to send his younger brother to university. Stories that are worth celebrating and Petra was all too eager to celebrate with all of them.

But when she's alone, she'd sometimes feel that time had stopped for her. She'd realize that this isn't just a simple pregnancy and she's not just on a maternity leave. At times when she really is down in the dumps, she'd bitterly question if the living being inside of her truly is worth calling a bundle of joy.

She'd shake that thought away as fast as it came, of course. She rubs circles around her rounded tummy as if to say a silent sorry to her child for even thinking of such a thing. Petra loves her and Levi's baby with all her heart. She doesn't regret any of it because this baby symbolises that Levi would continue making a difference in the scouts.

Still though, there were moments when Levi would come home and find her asleep with tear tracks on her face, hands clenching on her old green scout uniform.

- - -

She was seven months along when he first admitted that he's in love with her.

Well, he didn't admit it directly.

For someone who can easily throw an insult, Levi's shit at words. He made his love known and he didn't even say it to her.

He said it to her belly instead, and Petra almost died at how adorable it all is.

"Your mom's a handful, you know?" was the first thing Petra heard when consciousness starts to return back to her. Sometimes she'd fall asleep in the early evenings just before Levi comes back home. He'd let himself in on most days so that he won't disturb her slumber.

Hearing Levi talk to the baby wasn't something new for Petra. He started addressing her belly since the first time he felt the kid kick. Sometimes, he'd have (one-sided) conversations with her belly as if Petra wasn't even there. Hell, he was even more talkative to the unborn baby than when he's planning an expedition with their squad.

This was one of those moments.

Petra was about to pipe up and greet him a welcome back when he continued.

"If she wasn't the most reckless and beautiful woman I've ever met, I wouldn't have put up with all that shit she'd pulled." Petra's heart flutters. Levi rarely uses words of affection as his love language. He'd always made his feelings known through late night runs to resupply their strawberries just because she was craving them, or by offering to massage her swollen feet for someone who's a real clean freak.

"Don't tell your mom that I cursed." Levi continues as he settles down on the bed to rub her belly. "She'd have my head."

Levi must've been really tired if he didn't notice that she's already awake. He did mention this morning that Erwin was forcing him to catch up on a lot of paperwork the whole day. Still, Petra kept her eyes closed, wanting to hear what he says next.

"Did you know that there was this time when she broke formation to save a horse from being stepped on by a titan?" Levi said before murmuring to her belly: "I can't believe I'm in love with someone that crazy."

- - -

On the eight month, he proposed to her.

"Levi, you don't have to." She tells him, trying to stop the smile from beaming on her face. Her hand subconsciously goes to her round tummy, as if to share to the little one how his daddy can be so silly sometimes.

"Tch. What makes you think I 'have' to?" Levi says. "I want to. Now, tell me that at least you liked the ring because that cost me three years' worth of budget for our cleaning supplies."

He said it so nonchalantly but Petra can always tell whenever Levi is nervous deep down. She recently learned the truth about his past and she knows that the thought of a child of his being a bastard, the same way that he is, didn't sit right with him.

Petra gives him a peck on the cheek and presented her hand so that he can slide it on her ring finger.

"I love it."

- - -

On her ninth month, Levi requested a paternity leave the week she's due to give birth. It always amazes Petra how someone who seemed so cold can be such a great father before the child was even born.

"Are you sure?" she asks. "You won't get behind on work right? You've always been horrible at keeping up with paperwork."

"Don't get too full of yourself," he scoffs. "Just because you're not helping me anymore doesn't mean I can't get them done."

"I also don't trust our neighbours enough to take you to a clean hospital," he later adds.

Petra was excited because this means she gets Levi for a whole week. The last time they got this much time together she was still in the scouts. So she took full advantage of it, demanding that he take her out on a date.

"You won't reject your wonderful, bloated wife, would you?" Petra waddles over to him, asking him with puppy dog eyes.

"God, woman. Are you serious? What if your water broke while we're having dinner?" He snaps back.

"Come onnn. I've been stuck in this house for a week now!" She pouts. "You worry too much, Levi."

"No, I'm just not as reckless as you are." He tells with a hint of fondness in his voice.

- - -

Petra gives birth to a healthy baby boy on the 9th of June, and Levi spent the whole duration of the labor pacing outside her hospital room. His passive face doesn't reveal much since he looks like he was only frowning constantly. On the inside though, he feels his heart lurch every time he hears Petra scream in pain and exertion.

He can't remember how many nurses he'd snapped at. Some of them would even hurry away when he tried approaching them to ask Petra's condition. The head nurse was adamant he stay outside though, telling him that his wife is fine.

Hours later, they finally allowed him in and a nurse handed him a bundle. At first, he was confused because all he wanted to do was rush to his wife who's currently sweaty, tired and asleep on the bed.

It only dawned onto him that what he's holding is his child.

Levi's whole body freezes, and the first thing that came to mind is Kenny.

I'm going to be a shitty father, he thinks, mind spiralling down to the many ways for things to fuck up. I'm going to end up abandoning him and he'll hate me forever.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when the baby gave a gentle coo, eyes blinking open to reveal amber orbs. Levi stares down at his child and awkwardly reaches out a finger towards his face. His son immediately latches on to his skin, a tiny palm attempting to encircle around his finger, and Levi can feel a ghost of a smile forming on his face.

"Hi, brat." He sees from the corner of his eye that some of the nurses raise an eyebrow at that. He'd been talking to the kid for months now through Petra's belly and this is when he's speechless?

Petra wakes up to find her husband fighting back sleep on a chair beside her bed. His hands were wrapped protectively around what seems like a bundle of cloth and he's clutching it to his chest.

He snaps out of his drowsy state when he sees her eyes open. "You're awake."

Petra hums. "Is... is that him?"

Levi nods and Petra's eyes light up despite the exhaustion weighing them down. He moves to pass on the baby boy to her, leaving a kiss on her sweaty forehead before he sits back down on the chair. He's not surprised that Petra started tearing up.

"Oh, Levi... he's so beautiful." Petra leans down to pepper kisses on the child's sleeping face. "He looks just like you."

Levi had never felt peace like this for awhile. A sick and sad part of him feared that if he'll blink his eyes closed, all these will disappear once he opens them.

He received a congratulatory letter from Mitras that same evening, forwarded to him by Erwin.

"Who's it from?" Petra asks as she nurses their baby. She's glowing, and even though she's a sweaty mess right now, he can't help but think that this is the most beautiful state he'd seen her in.

"Nothing. Just some report from Eyebrows," Levi answers.

He threw the letter away without even reading. He'd rather not have his mood ruined right now.

- - -

"He's awake?" Levi groggily asks from their bed.

Petra nods, rocking little Theo in her arms. "I'm praying that he won't inherit his father's insomniac habits."

Levi sits up, opening his arms to quietly ask Petra to hand over the baby to him. "Go to sleep Petra. I'll take care of him."

His wife hums as her body hits the bed, cuddling closer to Levi who's currently sitting up against the bed frame. She throws an arm around his waist while he holds their 4-month-old child, attempting to rock him back to sleep. Little Theo's amber eyes just stares up at him, black hair tousled from all his fussing.

"Oi, kid. Let your mom rest." Levi pokes his button nose, earning him a cute little giggle from the baby. "I'm blaming you if she gets all grumpy on me tomorrow."

Petra lightly slaps his abdomen, a small smile on her face while her eyes remain closed.

Once his family settles down, with Petra now asleep and his son's eyes gradually getting drowsier as the minutes pass, he allows himself to drown in his thoughts. Having a son was both a joy and a sorrow at the same time.

Hange always teased him at how much of family man he's become, not expecting that a grumpy recluse like him who's willing to kick the asses of recruits would be so protective of his own little family. His motivation now during each expedition is just to come back as soon as he can to his wife and son.

He sometimes daydreams about leaving it all, packing everything up and leaving their home, his position in the scouts and finding the three of them a safe space to stay away from the military's demands and interests. Little Theo wouldn't end up getting pressured to join the Survey Corps or any other regiment once he comes of age and he and Petra can have another child or even two on their own terms.

For so long, his commitment to the scouts' cause has mostly been tied to the past, wanting to give meaning to his comrades' deaths. This is the first time he looked towards the future. For the first time, he's hopes for something—he hopes for a time when his son wouldn't even be forced to join the military, no matter how decorated the title they would give him. Now, he leaves for expeditions envisioning a future where they can go beyond these stuffy walls, where he can teach Theo how to ride a horse without the intention to prepare him for a mission. It's for a future where he'd teach his son to fight, just because the boy is curious and not because he needs to survive.

He doesn't know what little Theo's future will look like. For now, all Levi can do is protect his family.

[sockablock]

The fires dance and shimmer over Vo, but only on the beaches, and not with any fear.

Instead, there is laughter singing through the trees. There is singing, too, warm and bright, the sound of two dozen amateur dancers cheering in the moonlight. 

Somewhere, Yasha is helping a hunter cut logs for the blaze. Somewhere, Jester is telling stories to children about an unknown world. Somewhere, Beau is criticizing a cask of island-wine, and getting very drunk. Somewhere, Veth and Caleb are helping a very old woman fix a watch. 

Fjord straightens up and sticks his poker into the sand, watching the embers go out with a little hiss. He stretches, loosening his neck and wincing when his bruises argue back. He’d gotten thrashed around Vokodo’s cavern pretty hard at the end, there, but most of the firebloom burns are gone now, and between two clerics and a vengeful druid, he doesn’t have much to complain about.

He glances around the beach and can smell the first sizzle of cooking meat. Something fruity hovers past, and he can hear Beau’s singing growing louder.

And then, he notices something else, in the corner of his vision. Past the celebration, farther down the shore, sitting on the sand with his knees against his chest—

It’s Caduceus. His outline is purple in the twilight.

Fjord considers the fire. The music, and then he leaves the poker to finish smoldering by itself. 

By the time he’s nearly reached Caduceus, the merriment of the bonfire is barely a hum amid the turning tides. Light carries farther, though, and here it reflects an orange sea across the starry waves. It would be beautiful, it is beautiful, although it reminds Fjord a little too much of their last fight. He ignores it, instead focusing on the seated shape in front of him.

“Caduceus, you’re going to miss the food at this rate."

There is no immediate answer. Fjord stops, and raises his brow. 

"Caduceus? Oh, shit, is this a vegetarian thing? We should’ve said something earli...er...”

In this light, his friend is mostly shadow, but for a second it almost looks as if Caduceus raises an arm, wipes his face...

Fjord stops. He dares himself to have seen it wrong, and blinks.

"...Caduceus?!” This time, he is shouting. “Cad, is...everything alright?!”

It could be the waves, but for a second, a sniffle, and then—

“Oh, Mister Fjord, I didn’t hear you c—”

“Are you crying?”

Fjord clears the distance in a second, scattering sand everywhere. A part of him instantly curses the decision, why in the world would you rush at him—but another part, the honest part, the deeply confused part, is too worried to do anything else.

But Caduceus...laughs. It’s more stilted than it should be, though then again, Cad’s always been a weird one, in a special way—

Until Fjord sees the tears. There are two streaks of dampness matting Cad’s fur.

“Oh,” he says, before he can stop himself. 

There is a flash in Caduceus’s eyes. It is so small, so brief, so hidden away, that if Fjord had not been staring at him, he would have missed it entirely.

It’s panic. Caduceus says, “No, don’t mind me, Mister Fjord, I think I might’ve gotten carried away.”

Fjord’s mouth opens. It closes. It opens again.

“Carried away?”

“Just a bit.”

Fjord manages to stop gawking on the third try. He drops down, wincing a little at the sharp movement but ending in a determined, eye-level squat.

“Carried away,” he repeats.

Caduceus does not meet his gaze. His voice, when it finally does comes, is more unsteady than Fjord has ever heard.

“I, ah, I think...today was just a lot. It was...there was a lot.”

“Yes, well...yeah,” Fjord says, and tries to shuffle his back into Cad’s face. More sand kicks up around his ankles. “We did fight a fake fire god and nearly set off a volcano. Then again, that sort of thing feels somewhat standard for us.”

Caduceus coughs, and only after a second does Fjord realize it’s a laugh. 

“We, we do certainly get into all sorts of trouble.”

“Right,” says Fjord, still slightly mystified. He glances around the beach, sees Caduceus still avoiding him, hears the raucous melody of cheering far behind.

He looks up. He looks down. Then:

“...can I sit?”

There’s a vague gesture in response. Fjord accepts this as an answer.

The sand is cool. The wind sweeps across his hair.

“I’m...not very...I think I might have a reputation for being somewhat unobservant,” he says, after a pause. “Sometimes. But...I don’t think I’m a fool, Caduceus. Though even a fool could see that you’re upset.”

“I’m n—”

“I’m not done.” He looks up. Far, far above them, the stars glimmer bright. “I think...I think...that although I wasn’t there to see it initially, I believe that ever since you came to join our little troupe, your presence has been very good for us. I worry that...maybe, we haven’t returned the favor.”

“Favor?” Caduceus chuckles. “There’s no favor to return.”

There is a weight to Fjord’s silence.

“Hm. I wonder about that.”

Caduceus feels his brow furrow. He tries to stop it, but it does.

“Mister Fjord,” he says softly, “I don’t expect anything from you.”

“Right,” Fjord nods. “In that case...it’s a failing on our part.”

The waves ebb and flow on the shore. They are far away enough not to fear getting wet, but close enough still to taste the salt breeze.

“Why are you upset?” Fjord murmurs. “Is it...was it the fight? Are you hurt, or—”

“Oh, no. Not me.”

He glances over.

“Then...?”

Caduceus stares at the ground. His boots are off, and little grains of sand cling to his armor.

“Do you...ever feel...frustrated, Fjord?”

“Hah! Is that really your question?”

When the pause carries on, Fjord clears his throat.

“Er...yes, Caduceus. I do.”

“What about guilty? Very guilty.”

“Uh...sure, I think so. Maybe not...I’m not so sure to what degree you’re talking, here, but I’ve definitely had regrets.”

“And...what about feeling like you’re a burden?”

Fjord leans back on his palms. “Caduceus, are we just going down the list of how I go about my day?”

“No,” and when Caduceus chuckles, Fjord can see a little gleam of moonlight against his fur. “I’m, ah, I’m going down mine.”

“Oh.”

“It’s...it was bad on this island. It was...I felt those things...a lot. And, well,” he gives another laugh, “well, it sort of came to a head down in that tunnel.”

Fjord considers this.

“The...”

“The underwater one,” Caduceus says. “When the...the fireblooms opened all around us and I...lost to Vokodo.”

Fjord blinks. “You mean...oh, well...plenty of us had fallen to him at that point, didn’t we? I mean, Yasha forgot the name of her wife and Jester lost her beard oil, er, my beard oil, and I forgot Vandren, and...” 

He trails off, when he sees Cad look up.

“Right,” says Caduceus, “I forgot things too. But...I did something worse. I hurt you.”

Fjord hesitates. “You...didn’t really—”

“I did,” says Caduceus. “I fought against you. I blinded you. And you spent all your spells on me, and when the fight started, you couldn’t defend yourself, and got even more injured.”

“Well,” says Fjord, with as much certainty as he can muster, “I don’t know if...three spells would’ve really changed much.” Then he pauses again, and adds, “Not, uh, not that the gifts of the Wildmother are anything to scoff at. You know.”

Behind them, smoke pours up into the sky. They can’t smell it from here, but the feast is beginning, all joining in together to celebrate, save for two.

“They aren’t,” Caduceus says slowly, “but...do you want to know something, Fjord?”

“Er...of course.”

He also leans back. Also takes a second to breathe deep by the sea.

“In that moment, when I...fell to Vokodo. It was...exhilarating. It...it felt...it felt like...well,” he murmurs a laugh. “It felt like, for a second I had a purpose again.”

Foam dissolves into the sand. Far, far away, a hermit crab surfaces.

“A...purpose?”

“A mission. A goal, a journey, a...a divine reassurance that I was on the right path. It’s something that I...haven’t had since I saw my family.”

“You...wait, really? Why?”

“Well,” Caduceus gives a shrug. “Well, I suppose it’s because I did fulfill that purpose. We got the green glass. We visited the Dusts, and then the Stones, and my family went home to save the Grove. That was all I dreamed about, all that I knew I had to accomplish for...for decades. And we...did it. I did it. And now...it’s over.”

He takes a deep breath.

“And now...I’m just here. I have faith that she’s guiding me to where I need to go, but...where? Why? And...sometimes, even that is...even that feels...”

Fjord turns, and sees Caduceus staring at him. His hair is a tangle tripping down his back. His eyes are hesitant, shining in the moonlight.

“Sometimes...when I am with you all,” he says quietly, “sometimes I just feel...free.”

The waves come and go. The tiny hermit crab faces down an endless, churning, ever-flowing sea.

“She likes freedom, doesn’t she?” Fjord murmurs. “Isn’t that...I mean...that’s what she’s meant to me.”

Caduceus smiles. It’s a half-risen thing. “She meant duty to the Clays. A legacy to fulfill. A home to tend to, a garden to grow, people and family to take care of.”

Fjord meets his gaze. “Is that what you want?”

Caduceus doesn’t answer right away. When he does:

“...I don’t know anymore. Sometimes...I think I want to tend to our friends. Take care of them. Help you all grow to where you can be.”

“You’ve got your work cut out for you.”

“Oh, don’t I know it.”

They are quiet for a moment. Then:

“What about other times?” Fjord murmurs. “What about then?”

Caduceus glances up. He takes in the thousands of stars above him, watches a thousand lights fade and glow.

“It can be scary to not have a purpose.”

“I managed. I managed for...oof, maybe thirty years?”

“Did you like it?” 

Fjord shrugs. “I didn’t know anything else. Then, for a while, I thought my purpose was to fill a role. Be a captain. Become powerful. But...I didn’t much like that.”

“No,” Caduceus chuckles. “I didn’t think you did.”

“In a way, though,” Fjord sighs, “I mean...I don’t really know if I have a purpose either. Most of the time...I’m just here. I’m just...doing my thing. As a member of the Mighty Nein. I’m helping our friends as much as I can, and I’m getting to see the world. And learn new things. And...in doing so, I...well, I think maybe I’ve been more free than I ever had been. Maybe that’s a purpose. Even if it doesn’t feel like, I dunno, divine providence, or whatever, I’m...I’m still happy doing it. I love our friends. I think that’s enough.”

“Yes,” Caduceus says quietly. “I...I’m happy with them too.”

“Well, there you go, then!” Fjord taps him on the arm. “Maybe that’s all you really need. And I’m sorry it doesn’t feel...feel like a godly mission, but it still should be worth hanging onto, no?”

When he glances back, Caduceus is still looking at him.

“Right,” he echoes. “I think it is.”

Maybe it’s the beach, or the heat from the bonfire, but Fjord can feel his face getting a little warm. He coughs.

“I hope, er, that helped. I don’t know if that’s...good advice, to turn other people into your purpose. Because now that I think about it, it does still sort of sound like that whole garden-tending thing, which is a little contradictory—”

“Fjord?”

“Um, yes?”

“It helped.”

“Oh, good.”

“Fjord?”

“...um. Yes?”

Caduceus’s eyes are turned to the sky.

“I want to be free, too. But...I would like to be free with everyone else. And with you.”

Fjord coughs again. Though it isn’t as sharp. And the warmness is nice.

“I’d like that too.”

They sit there on the beach for a while after that. Later, perhaps, their friends will realize that they are missing, and come calling for them. Later, perhaps, there will be food to share and island-wine to drink and songs to sing. Later, they will sleep in huts beneath the stars and even after that, much, much later, perhaps there will even be a new path, a new journey, a new mission to follow and a new purpose to chase.

But all that will happen later. For now, all there is, is the sound of the waves, the brush of wind, and freedom, together.

— — —

✨ Ko-Fi Link in Bio! ✨ | Requests are OPEN

[tonystarktogo]

Could I pretty pretty please get some more on the time travel crack au? Maybe when it gets out that Steve, Bruce, andThor are technically from the future?

As much as I’d love to jump to that part, I think it’s funnier necessary to cover a few other tidbits first. For example:

Tony misses whatever discussion follows Thor’s -- hah, got it right in one, he hasn’t lost his touch completely yet -- arrival before the god carries his brother off towards a containment cell with the sort of cheer that causes Tony to carefully keep at least two people between himself and Thor, lest the asshole tries to hug him again.

Not that it can be that big a loss considering they all -- sans Loki -- end up back in the command center of the helicarrier, where Fury glares balefully at the most recent invader of his precious aircraft that clearly isn’t meant to stand in the way of gods.

A glare Thor aggressively doesn’t notice. Likely because he’s too busy partaking in the on-going discussion on what to do next.

And by ‘what to do next’ Tony doesn’t mean the expected we-were-invaded-by-a-mindcontrolled-alien-nutbag-and-there’s-probably-more-out-there-seems-like-the-kind-of-oh-shit-situation-we-should-plan-for. No. That would be reasonable and expected and Tony’s spent all of three hours in the company of the esteemed Captain America and already he can tell you that Rogers is none of that.

[Which, not cool, Capsicle. Dazzling and befuddling people with crazily brilliant ideas is his job.]

[continues under the cut]

So far, Tony’s been paying attention for ten minutes. In that time, Rogers and Thor have gotten into an argument over how to handle Loki -- which holy shit, that went from a calm, rational discussion to a battle to the death between two superhumans on a sugar high in zero point four seconds -- that Tony is so not gonna touch. [Nope. Let some other fool [i.e. Rogers] throw himself head-first into norse god family drama, Tony’s own feelings concerning his family are complicated enough.] That conversation devolved into a not-openly-fighting-while-totally-fighting stand-off between Rogers and Banner over a way too bitter comment from the latter [something about ‘you’d know all about choosing one brother over the other, wouldn’t you’ which what?], which in turn gets derailed by Banner needling Thor about the merits of beheading over stabbing.

Romanoff had the good sense to disappear -- probably to interrogate Loki while his apparently protective big brother is distracted, now that Tony thinks about it. 

Unfortunately that still leaves Tony stuck here, having to play the role of the mature adult because no one else fucking will. Tony hates being responsible. It’s like being back in high school and being left to do all the work on your own in group project.

[Tony failed that project. Got a straight up zero on purpose because spite is a wonderful motivator. Which, now that Tony thinks about it, doesn’t say anything promising about the current situation.]

Tony leans even further back in his seat, only balancing on the backlegs of the chair, to give Fury a very sharp, very judgemental look.

These are the people you’re betting Earth’s survival on, that look says.

Fury’s already pissed off expression darkens further, which brightens Tony mood substantially. That one of the suit’s sensors flashes green twice in quick succession less than a minute later really just makes for a delicious cherry on the top. Or more precisely a good excuse to ditch this trainwreck of a match-making attempt.

“Whoops,” Tony says, clearly audible but not too loud to draw real attention from the three [still arguing-while-pretending-not-to] stooges on the other end of the room. “Looks like I gotta take this call.”

He jiggles his fingers at Fury. The guy rolls his eyes -- probably jealous that he doesn’t have an excuse himself, that bitch face doesn’t fool Tony -- but no one tries to stop him.

“Alright, J, what do you have for me?”

*

Tony pretends not to notice the shuffling footsteps. Glances at the disturbingly normal clock on the wall that is so not up-to-date with the rest of the technology in the room, it must be an inside joke. Tony would love to meet the SHIELD agent behind it -- it can’t be easy, being the only person with a sense of humor in an entire agency.

30 minutes.

Well. That’s longer than Tony thought he’d get. JARVIS still hasn’t cracked the last layer on SHIELD’s really fucked up dirt -- and given what he’s already found, that says a lot -- but it’s only a matter of time now. Besides, Tony’s got a job to do.

“To- Stark.”

“Rogers.”

Tony doesn’t turn. Neither does he stop typing.

“What are you doing?”

Tony scoffs. He’s not in the mood to pander to inferior minds -- not when they’re so fucking frustrating, don’t make any sense and worst of all make him do all the work. 

“He’s tracking the Tesseract, using the scepter as a point of reference,” Banner says after taking one look at the screen over Tony’s shoulder.

Tony raises his eyebrows, impressed despite himself. Banner’s credentials clearly don’t do him justice -- and they were pretty damn good to begin with.

“Huh,” says Rogers.

Thanks for playing. Now buckle down and make yourself useful or fuck off, Tony wants to snipe but doesn’t get the chance to because the gods -- this god at least -- just aren’t on his side.

“Even without my brother’s help, a weapon of the tesseract’s might should not be underestimated,” Thor speaks up. “Should we not make haste and collect it?”

"Great idea.” Tony’s voice is dryer than the sand dune he crash-landed in back during his fun little trip to Afghanistan. “If only I’d thought of that instead of inventing fifteen new algorithms to try and get a read on SHIELD’s precious magic eight ball while you were busy defending your brother’s honor. Speaking of, I’m pretty sure Romanoff is a greater danger to his virtue than Captain Shockfreeze over there, so why are you still here?”

Okay, maybe poking the hornet nest that is godly family isn’t his smartest move [didn’t he just say he wasn’t gonna touch that?!] but damn if Tony isn’t curious. And also too annoyed to care about unimportant, subjective things like good manners and tact.

He sort of regrets his cavalier attitute a little when Thor sobers. At least there are no tears in sight. Tony is the last person on Earth who should be left unsupervised around crying people. It just never ends well.

“Ah.” Thor sighs heavily, stems his body against an unfortunate table that creaks dangerously. "I’m afraid I can’t afford to see my brother right now.”

It’s the way he says those words, the weight they carry more than anything that tells Tony he needs to drop this issue right now. Talk about one huge trigger button.

Must be inconvenient to have siblings. Tony totally can’t relate.

“Well, in that case, unless you have a magic trick with which you can pull the Tesseract’s position out of your sleeve, how about you sit as far away from these delicate instruments as possible and don’t touch anything while I work my magic, hm?”

Tony doesn’t let his gaze linger on the crushed edge of the table. Thor hasn’t even seemed to notice. He’s too busy lighting up at Tony’s snappish response. Which is surprising. Tony’s aware he’s a bit of an asshole right now. In his defence, he’s an asshole most of the time.

Rogers leaps across the room -- almost crashing into the previously mentioned delicate sensors as he does so -- to slap his palm over Thor’s mouth.

Tony stares. [How quickly can you develop a new habit again? Because this starts to feel like a new habit.]

“That sounds like a great plan!” Rogers beams at him, so wide and fake it must be physically painful for the epitome of all that is good and holy. At least Tony hopes it is. The supersoldier his father worshipped is still clinging to their resident god of thunder’s face.

It’s.

Tony resolutely turns his back on both of them because their madness doesn’t seem to come with a refund-ticket and if Tony doesn’t finish this program, no one will.

Not even Banner -- whom Tony had been kind of hoping for. Speaking of, the man’s been awfully quiet for a while now.

“You alright there, Brucie-Bear?” Tony turns around -- a little because it’s polite to face people when you talk with them and mostly to have an excuse not to watch the ongoing doomed wrestle-match between Blonde 1 and Blonde 2. His awesome nicknaming skill doesn’t get so much as a twitch.

To be fair, Banner is so busy staring straight ahead with the most epic rendition of the World’s Most Thoughtful Expression™ Tony has seen in a while that it doesn’t seem like the man heard him. At all.

Until he suddenly speaks up.

“I think we’ve forgotten something.” Behind Tony the impromptu wrestling comes to a sudden halt.

Probably something negligible like how to focus on a mission, the sarcastic voice in the back of Tony’s mind drawls. Though it should be noted that Tony’s consciousness only comes in sarcastic or not at all. Sorry, everyone, all the other flavors are out.

Banner’s frown deepens. “Something- Something important.”

Right on cue an explosion rocks the aircraft.

*

There’s a bit more tension in this part than the previous ones. On Tony’s side it’s because he’s smart enough to pick up on Something Is Seriously Wrong, both consciously and subconsciously and also because he feels the pressure what with everyone else apparently not taking this whole thing very seriously.

[Excluding Natasha who, believe me, takes Clint’s fate very serious indeed.]

On our time travellers’ side, they experience the frustration of being unable to talk openly, surrounded by people they don’t trust, trying to play along to the script of a movie they watched like 12 years ago and never revisited. Needless to say they’re failing horrenduously.

[babyyweebbitch]

Please stay with me...

A/N: Hey Resident evil fans 😀 im sorry I’m gonna make another part to this btw

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Death, Blood and funeral

Summary: Chris and his wife went on a mission a few months after Piers’ death but his was shot and killed by the enemy trying to protect Chris and the team

*bonus* Funeral (it does get kinda triggering so if you get triggered by funeral talk, skip that)

Chris, His wife and new men from the BSAA were on a mission again but this time in America, everything was going smoothly

All they had to do was take out the enemy, get the three hostages to safety and deactivate the bomb placed in the building they were in

“Boys listen” Y/N said, for someone who was 5’0, 147lb and currently the youngest on that team at 28 she was very intimidating to the men on that team, even Chris was intimidated by her — She’s his wife!

She was also the new captain of the team since Chris decided it wasn’t for him anymore — So he chose his replacement to be his wife

Not just because they were married. She had talent, she was tough and was hard on everyone and anyone when she had to be

“We will split into teams of three, one team is in charge of getting the hostages; the other are in charge of deactivating the bomb and my team will take care of the enemies. Corey, John and Andrew, you’re in charge of finding the bomb and deactivating it”

“Yes ma’am!” The three men said in unison before leaving to find out the bomb

“Phil, Jean and Mark, you’re In charge of finding and taking the hostages to safety”

“Ma’am!” The three said before doing their job

“Chris and Eric you’re with me” Y/N said as she turned to walk out the door, Chris watched her and was amazed by how amazing she was doing

“Is she always like this, Chris?”

“Only when she has to be” he smirked as he followed behind his wife and he was thinking about a lot of different things at once, his time as captain, his former men, Piers

He hadn’t realised he was already at the door of the room the enemies were in until he was tapped on the shoulder by a smaller hand

“You okay?” Y/N asked as she looked at Chris, an obvious worried expression on her face since he was zoning out

“What? Oh yeah. I’m fine... Sorry” Chris said as he looked at the door and let a sigh escape his lips as he backed up and kicked open the door, gun fire already heading towards them

Luckily the three hid in time before firing back, for about what felt like forever the three came from wherever they were hiding from and let out a sigh thinking they had got everyone

“Good job b— Chris!” Y/N called out as she had saw one remaining enemy stand up from behind a counter pointing a gun towards Chris

Out of instinct she ran towards Chris and pushing him out the way not even thinking about herself and that was the moment she was hit in the sternum, shockingly they had a powerful gun that can puncture anything

“Gah!”

Everything was still processing in Chris’ head right now, trying to catch his kind up, Eric used his last bullet to shoot the last enemy before running over to catch Y/N

“Captain!”

*flash back*

“I don’t want you joining the BSAA, Y/N! You’ll die!”

“I’m perfectly okay with that... If I die I know that I at least tried to help the world somehow. I hate sitting at home all day and doing nothing while I worry while you’re on your missions”

Chris knew exactly where she was coming from she she said that, he wanted to protect the world too but it was one thing if he was the one to die doing it, but his wife? He’d hate to see her die or get injured on the job

“Plus... ever since my parents died in Raccoon city I promised them I’d do something to help the world and stop all of this from happening again when I got older. Well I’m older”

Honestly, when she brought up her parents he couldn’t argue with her anymore... He knows what it’s like to lose both parents

“I get it... I’m not going to stop you.. I hate thinking about you getting hurt but your parents would want that for you..”

*currently*

Chris ran to his wife and he felt his eyes water, the tears flooding his eyes as he stared at her

“No... Please stay with me! Don’t leave me goddamnit!” Chris refused to believe she was dying, he didn’t want to believe it

“Chris... Please” She reached inside of her pocket to grab her wedding ring, she never wore it on missions so she didn’t lose it, grabbing his hand she placed the ring inside

“I’m gonna see my parents again, Chris... Isn’t that good?”

“No no no no, Y/N please!! Don’t you die on me!”

“I love you, Chris...” His heart went numb the moment he felt her hand go heavy and almost fell out his but he held onto it

“Please don’t go! This isn’t funny anymore, fucking please don’t leave me alone!!” He knew she was dead... He knew he just didn’t wanna believe it, he wanted to believe she was pulling a fucked up prank on him and got up like nothing happened, he wanted her to sit up and say ‘sike motherfucker’. He wanted that more than anything right now

When she didn’t do that he hugged her body, not caring about the blood getting all over them and he just cried as he held her, he felt responsible for her death, if only he was paying attention he wouldn’t have lost the love of his life...

*bonus*

The day of the funeral, Chris looked horrible. He couldn’t sleep since that day and the house was a mess, Claire stayed with him to make sure he didn’t start drinking again to get rid of the pain

“Chris? You getting ready?” Claire asked as she was already dressed, opening the door to what used to be shared by two people

He sat on the bed looking at a picture of his wife on his phone, he had put her ring on a necklace he always wore

“Yeah... I’m ready” he said as he stood up to walk out with his sister, his hair was slicked back and he had a nice black suit on, Claire had on a black dress

After about a 30 minute drive they arrived and Chris didn’t wanna leave the car but Claire dragged him out

First his partner now his wife... He regrets even letting her join the BSAA and if he could change the roles and take the bullet for her, he would in a fucking heart beat

After about two hours, the ceremony happened, everyone close to her gave their speeches and the viewing it they lowered the casket and everyone had went inside to eat and talk

“Hey Chris, how are you holding up” Leon said as he went to sit with him and Claire

“I’ll be fine...” was all Chris said as he picked at his food, he was so depressed he barely ate anymore, basically all he did was sleep, workout and do paperwork.

He couldn’t bare handling a gun since in all honesty... he didn’t trust himself around one anymore

“Look... Chris I know you feel like shit and don’t wanna do anything anymore but, she wouldn’t want you picking at your food and not eating.. She’d want you to continue being yourself. She wouldn’t want this.” Leon commented

“....I know... But, I just miss her ya’know... she was my everything and I just feel so empty without her now. We were gonna start a family. I only wanted a family with her and only her”

Leon and Claire didn’t have any words since they didn’t want to say the wrong thing around Chris, the three ate and after eating they headed home

The car ride was silent — The silence was deafening you can hear a pin drop

Leon was right, Y/N wouldn’t wanna see him like this. He didn’t want to disappoint her so the first thing he did when he got home was cleaned up the way she liked it and how she liked cleaning

It was difficult but it was the process to healing...

[samwontshare]

What do you think a typical day in the wilson household is like? :) Love ur blog btw!

Hi Nonny!

Thanks so much! I hope this is what you're after. Sorry it got away from me! :)

The morning? Well it's a race to see who's up first! Sam, Sarah, Bucky, the boys? It could be any of them.

Sarah is always up early prepping breakfast and lunches before she heads out for the day to make her catch. Now that they go through periods of chartering the boat, she has more free time to develop her pop up eatery and catering business. If she's not on the water, she's in the kitchen. But the food gig is growing fast and she's now renting an industrial kitchen. On weekdays, she gets the boys ready and sends them off to school. On weekends, she's probably enlisted them to help out or sent them off on activities or with relatives/friends while she works. There aren't exactly days off when you're a small business woman. After much protesting, she has finally allowed Sam and Bucky to help with breakfast and lunches and school runs. It's still hard for her to accept help, after so many years doing everything solo. Sarah also doesn't tell them about her hip hop ballet class with her bestie/ex-girlfriend Tatianna. Leave her some mystery.

Sam is also an early bird (get it? get it?). If he's not convinced Sarah that he can handle making breakfast and lunch, he's out on his morning run. If he's not out saving the world on a mission, he's enjoying his down time in NOLA to train. He tries to spend a few days a week in Delacroix and misses it when he's gone too long, but being Cap is more than a full time job. When the stress is too much, when someone has made some rotten comment he has to be too good to acknowledge, Delacroix is healing water for his soul. When he comes home, he is loved. The whole town couldn't be prouder of little Sammie Wilson, Paul and Darlene's youngest. They don't mind sassing him when they remember some of his more reckless years as a teenager or the sons whose hearts he may have broken. Sometimes he takes the boys to school, in part because he likes the attention the fawning kids and teachers give him and in part because he loves his nephews and wants to ensure they're well liked. Bullies gonna know their uncle is Captain America. When he had his heart at home, what did it matter what those other people thought?

AJ and Cass vary between being up at an ungodly early hour to sneak in a snack or video games and sleeping in until Sarah has to drag them out with foot tickles. Cass, being older, tends to be the mastermind of their schemes which have included surprising Sarah with every variety of small creature living in the bayou and coercing babysitters into extra screen time. He's bright and protective of his little brother. Cass had to be the man of the house at a very young age, after all, and he took this self-imposed responsibility very seriously by making sure AJ is ready for school on time and helps with setting the table.

AJ has more energy than a cranky gator and was promptly enrolled in martial arts to get his extra energy out so he could focus at school. He tends to do better with his hands, an engineering spirit. If there's something to build, he's on it. Uncle Bucky tends to be their favorite person to cajole into Lego sets, which Bucky can't stop buying for them and Sarah had to warn him off spoiling her children with expensive gifts - especially because the kids were telling him all about the newest gaming systems they would simply DIE if they did not own. Sam already directed them back to their mother because he knows better.

Bucky gets up early, disappears, and returns at a later time. He likes the mysterious vibe he gives off, but mostly he's seeing a therapist in NOLA who told him he needs to develop hobbies. And he would rather die than let Sam know he's taken up swing dancing, amongst other things. Also he has his own apartment in Delacroix, which he sometimes visits. What else is he doing? That's private (and Captain America).

In the evenings?

Everyone is tired after a long day, but that doesn't stop family dinner from being an important part of the Wilson family structure. Whenever they're all together, the boys set the table while Sarah and Sam cook. Sarah is teaching Bucky a thing or two about Southern cooking (another hobby). Sam and Sarah have a heated debate over the best brand of Louisiana hot sauce and though the Lord taught Sarah not to judge, Sam is wrong about his love of Tabasco over Crystal. Bucky says he likes both because he likes peace these days.

After dinner, they try to spend some dedicated family time. Clean up is a joint affair with everyone playing a role. Chores are treated as a family activity - everyone works together to keep their home happy - and are done together whenever possible. Plus video games are often a reward so y'know. The boys have been catching Sam and Bucky up on all the video games they've missed over the last 5 (and more) years.

But they often resort to card games, dominos, checkers and chess because Bucky gets strangely nostalgic about it around the boys and maybe because he keeps losing spades to the old men at the docks and Sam is uncertain he'll ever 1) win 2) admit defeat. Sam takes it upon himself to educate the boys on the finer points of soul and jazz. Live performances are a big weekend Wilson family activity; not hard to find in NOLA. (But Sam mosts wants to take the boys to an air show where they can see the fighter jets fly in formation and eat bad fair food. Sam secretly wants to lead one.)

It's a toss up who enjoys reading more, Sam or Bucky, but the one activity Sam doesn't let Bucky partake in is reading to the boys at night. He knows it sounds stupid, but he did it when they were babies and now that they're grown, it helps him feel like he's getting those years back. Also he doesn't want Bucky to hear the (perfect) voices he makes for each character.

The adults might drink and shoot the shit on the porch until even the bugs want them to go back inside.

[mishasminion360]

Space Age Love Song, Ch. 1

A Mandalorian x O/C Fic

Warning: Language

Notes: I’ve had this idea for awhile now and decided “why the hell not?” It’s been quite some time since I’ve written a full fledged fic, but I’m going to try to remain committed and complete this one. I already have a good idea of where I want it to go, so that’s a plus. Readers, you’re in for plenty of Mando romance, fluff, angst, action, and suspense. I hope you enjoy!

He crashed into her life like a falling star. The brightest star in the cosmos.

Ch. 1: Crash Into Me

The world was always a lonelier place at night. Rural Kansas appeared much more desolate in the dark; the roads and the land seemed to stretch on forever, both leading to nothing. The whistling of the evening breeze was the only voice to be heard for miles.

A half-drunk glass of whiskey in hand, Sara craned her head skyward to gaze at the stars. At most times, it seemed, they were her only friends. At least there were plenty of them to go around.

Her shift at the Hillsboro Community Hospital had been a grueling one this evening. She had just managed to drag her weary bones home a little more than an hour ago and already the night was creeping into day. Though exhausted, she’d suddenly found herself wired the second she’d pulled into her driveway at nearly 3 a.m. Now coming up on 4 in the morning, she downed the rest of her whiskey in hopes of calming herself long enough to drop into dreamland.

She had no reason to be awake so late, or early, rather. Sara had no one to pass the wakefulness with. The last of the only family she’d ever known had vanished from her life nearly a decade ago, leaving her with nothing but an old country house in the middle of nowhere that was far too big for a solitary woman such as herself. That house and memories.

There shouldn’t be any joy in the thought of coming home to an empty house. No happiness at the thought of eating alone, sleeping alone, living alone. But, as it began to happen more frequently, Sara came to realize that this rush of adrenaline she felt upon returning to her solitary homestead night after night was from the hope that she wouldn’t be lonely for long. One night she’d come home and there’d be someone worth coming home to. Someone waiting for her.

For now, though, Sara pulled herself to her feet, blinked the stars from her eyes, and prepared to head inside where she’d climb the stairs to her room and finally sleep the sleep of the dead.

She had just yanked open the finicky screen door when she heard a peculiar thoom! Her tired eyes returned to the sky to see that it was ablaze with light. A star, like a white hot ember, arced through the night, tumbling, tumbling down. So bright. So fast. So BIG.

That is not a star, she thought.

Sara watched the object’s decent with her heart in her throat. What if it was a meteor? Or a guided missile gone astray? Should she take cover? Would there be enough time? Would it even matter? The time she could’ve spent moving was lost to an endless string of “what if’s” playing on a loop inside her head, and by the time her brain managed to squeeze a logical thought about running into the mix, the object was crashing to earth in the field behind her barn.

She felt the impact from her porch; wobbled unsteadily on her feet as a tremor passed through the ground below. She could see the glow of flames in the distance. With the threat of a wildfire from space igniting the field beyond, with her house and all its memories in danger, she sprang into action.

Sara darted inside and made a beeline for the kitchen, retrieving the fire extinguisher from under the sink. Then, opting to take the back door, she darted back out into the chilly pre-dawn and ran as fast as her legs would carry her toward what she could only assume was Fox Mulder’s wet dream.

***

So, it definitely wasn’t a star. It wasn’t a meteor or a missile either. Nothing in her wildest dreams could have prepared her for what she was seeing. It was in pieces and it was on fire, but even partially destroyed Sara could positively identify (having watched enough cheesy sci-fi movies with her gramps to do so) an alien ship when she saw one.

“What kind of Superman origin story bullshit is this?” she wondered out loud.

The flames licking at the wreckage weren’t too big, and the small extinguisher did the trick for the most part. The dented silver exterior was still smoldering in some places by the time the canister was empty. Tossing the empty red cylinder aside, she stood and stared at the UFO in a mix of wonder and fear as another round of incessant questions bombarded her brain. Should she call someone about this? Who the hell was she supposed to call anyway: the cops, a scientist, the news, or all of the above?

With a startling groan of metal and a hiss of pressurized air, a large door at the rear of the ship (or was it the front? She had no fucking clue) descended, assuming a new role as a ramp, or so it appeared. It was almost as if the ship were inviting her inside.

Sara took a moment to peer into the vessel’s dark innards, then shook her head. She’d seen enough Ridley Scott movies to know that going inside was a terrible idea. Blindly investigating a mysterious extraterrestrial ship is how people ended up dead or, at the very least, pregnant with an alien baby. She wanted no part in either one of those scenarios if she could help it.

The rationalist inside of Sara urged her not to take another step farther; practically shouted at her to turn around and run the other way. But the nurse in her wouldn’t, couldn’t allow her to abandon someone who might be aboard and may be hurt, human or...otherwise. Damn. Sometimes she felt like she’d chosen the wrong profession.

Taking a cautious step up onto the ramp, jumping a bit at the echoing of her own footsteps, Sara called out to the darkness.

“Hello? Is anyone in there?”

When she got only silence for a response, she decided to forge on ahead into the belly of the great metal beast.

“Okay, I’m coming in so please just...don’t eat me and keep your tentacles to yourself.”

The cavernous ship was as black as night. In the distance she could see lights blinking, like stars in the night guiding her way. Sara felt along the walls blindly and inched forward with small, cautious steps.

“If anyone is in here be warned. I do not like surprises and, so help me, if you jump out at me here in the dark I will punch first and ask questions later.”

As she drew closer to the flashing lights, she began to hear noise. What sounded like about five different alarms were blaring, but still nothing resembling a voice.

Suddenly, the floor seemed to rise by a foot and she stumbled at the sudden change in elevation. Her arms flailed dramatically as she desperately reached for something, anything to grab onto. Sara hit the ground hard and loud, her cry of surprise cut short as her head thumped against the cold floor.

Disoriented from the blow, she looked up and took in her surroundings with blurred vision. The alarms screamed at her from every direction, which was doing absolutely nothing to help her gradually building headache, and the lights blinked furiously in sync with the shrieking sirens. She could make out other objects now, what looked like buttons and knobs and levers and screens all illuminated by the incessant flashing of the warning lights. Damn her shit luck. Alone on this alien ship and she’d managed to stumble (literally) into the freaking cockpit. But where was the pilot?

Okay, maybe whatever had been flying this saucer never heard her, had no idea she was here. Maybe it was an unmanned craft. There was still a chance she’d make it out of this incredibly foolhardy endeavor alive. Stiffly and carefully Sara rolled onto her back, glanced up, and immediately screamed.

A face, or at least what she assumed was a face, more like a mask of some sort, peered down at her from above. Stifling another cry, she scrambled up to a sitting position and shinnied away until she felt her back hit wall. Even with that outburst, the creature didn’t appear to stir. After a few minutes of heavy breathing and vigilant observation, it didn’t appear that the alien was conscious.

Before she even realized she was doing it, Sara was on her hands and knees, creeping closer to where the sleeping being was collapsed heavily in what she figured to be the captain’s chair. Upon closer inspection, it looked more like a man than a monster. A man (or a woman) encased from head to toe in a suit of shimmering silver armor. Hell, it could have been a robot.

Through the small t-shaped visor in the dome-like helmet Sara could see no traces of a face. She had no definitive way of knowing if the spaceman was truly slumbering or just waiting for her to get close enough to grab, and for a moment she hesitated to move any closer. But when she saw the small trickle of blood leaking from beneath the helmet and onto the right pauldron, her fear instantly vanished. Definitely not a robot; a living, bleeding person. RN powers activate!

“Hey! Hey, can you hear me?” Sara gave the shiny helmet a light tap, trying to conjure a response. “Come on spaceman, spacewoman, are you with me? Wake up!”

His or her head rolled limply to the side as the blood continued to run. Unconsciousness following a vehicular (or spacecraftular) crash was never a good sign, but Sara couldn’t know for certain until she saw the source of the blood how bad the damage was. Gripping the helmet between her sweating palms she began to slide it upward carefully. Before she could even get it past the wearer’s chin, a hand reached up and wrapped around her wrist, stopping her instantly. She flinched, in surprise rather than pain; their grip was unexpectedly gentle.

“Don’t-don’t take it off,” a very male voice stammered weakly. “You can’t...”

Sara was momentarily stunned. The alien spoke perfect English, and in a voice as soft as their grasp. She shook her head to reorganize her thoughts. This situation called for the utmost professionalism. When you’re a nurse, first impressions are everything. And she wasn’t representing just herself at this moment, but potentially the entire human race.

“Sir, I...it’s going to be alright, sir. I’m a nurse. I can help you, but I’ll need to assess the injury. I need to remove your helmet in order to-“

“Please...”

Sara had entered this ship expecting to find a monster ready to frighten her. What she’d never anticipated was that the monster could be just as frightened as she was. And that’s what she heard in the spaceman’s voice: fear. He was scared. Of her. And that’s when any remaining trace of her own fear vanished. She reached down and found one of his gloved hands and squeezed it gently in her own.

“It’s okay. You’re going to be alright. I’m going to help you. You’re safe.” With her other hand she caressed one side of his helmet and tried to imagine that she were stroking his own cheek. “You’re safe.”

He seemed to relax a bit under her touch, but that may have been from the second wave of sleep overtaking him. Sara released his hand, took a step back, took a deep breath, and began mentally preparing herself for the task ahead.

Dragging a snoozing spaceman all the way to the house was not going to be an easy task, but it was one that had to be done. As a nurse, she’d be damned if she’d let a patient, even an extraterrestrial one, die on her watch.

Sara slid her arms around the limp man’s chest and began the first chore: hoisting him out of the chair.

“Welcome to Earth.”