#more meaningful understanding of the world and its possibilities

[pettybourgeoisblues]

just went to look at lego sets and dang i forgot about the harold the goddamn magical liberal ones. also why do they have lego funko pops.

[searchingforserendipity25]

playing around in the sandbox of queerplatonic benítez/lawrence.

and i'm not even talking about stifled desire or weird ecstatic sex dreams, no matter how fun that is. and i'm not even talking one-side pining in any direction, or innocent xiv blurring the edges of what devotion and worship stand for in cardinal lawrence's eyes.

i mean a real, an honest-to-god secret third thing. taking the whole brothers-in-christ thing in a bold new contemporary direction.

deeply intimate spiritual communion happening regularly during walks, and over paperwork, and behind bulletproof glass. all day every day. affirming conversations and touches and looks.

it's passionate. it's intense. it's something like infatuation. it's something like falling in love, quick friendship, human adoration - and nothing like that either.

it's a very clear understanding, a sharp and sudden and very strong connection, and it alters the world around them and it is not like they have a great deal of references for this.

so! naturally, a thought follows on the other. an assumption follows on the other, and as they have taken to an encompassing honesty, it doesn't take very, very long before they hash it out.

it is, all things considered, startlingly easy. nerve-wracking, of course, but there's a route to these things, and if kissing is not entirely pleasant, then it's not as if either of them has a great deal of experience.

they do break their vows together. schedule it in advance and everything!! a whole fraught arc involved, about repression and choice and sacrifice, and recontextualizing celibacy and chastity, and affirming their closeness as a vow in itself.

and it is. fine.

a spiritually meaningful experience! pleasurable in its way! but kinda mid, as far as generally meaningful experiences go. the quiet of a room with the air conditioning on is less erotic than most of their confessional sessions, and the not-take-backies of it give it a weight and pressure that isn't very enjoyable, even going into it together.

not really worth repeating. it's possibly lawrence regrets it at once and mourns his lost chaste chivalric ideal with real anguish, is filled with remorse for besmirching his friend and diminishing their companionship to something base. can't stand to look as benítez afterwards; can't stand to live inside himself.

it's possible benítez has to face the turmoil in his heart with being largely sex-repulsed even about the person who knows his self, body and spirit, the most. to find he prefers pleasure by himself, or not at all; that he does not find truth for himself in the idea of marriage or romantic affection.

no more now than he ever has before, even though he had believed it - even though he does love lawrence with a singular focus he hasn't felt before, as near to possessive attachment as he has ever come, and without the redeeming element of any defined, traditional term to it.

amatonormativity will get you anywhere, even in the vatican!

possibly there's a spin on the last-minute rush to the airport/train station/bus stop on the way to a tiny monastery in the alps to keep the love interest from flying off to london/new york/a tiny monastery in the alps, and an heartfelt heart to heart.

possibly benítez is wearing the same clothes he did when he arrived in rome, unexpected and unwanted. the first time he went out into the world as vincent benítez.

it's incredible, he says (it is possible, even likely, that his voice breaks a little), how much people don't really see him, when he's not wearing white. out of everyone in the world, no one looks at him as clearly as lawrence does. does this have to change, just because they have seen each other's nakedness and desire?

they are not adam or even, or noah's children; they should not need to break their ties because of shame. there is no harm in loving as they do, as there is none in loving otherwise. how just is it to argue otherwise, to work for an encompassing church, while casting themselves aside? he should leave rome, if he feels it is what he is called to go, but not because of shame.

lawrence comes back. lawrence takes his hands with his trembling fingers in apology and says, wrenched with love, with pity: oh vincent. no, it is not fair at all, is it?

he has been a fool. he has lived his life in ignorance of himself, and so narrowly he did not notice it. life to him was the church or marriage, and to have one was not to have the other, and nothing in between seemed possible, or correct, or permissible, or genuine.

they make it work! the times they wash each other's feet after particularly trying days, or the hand massages, and all the quietly ecstatic praying with fingers wound around the same rosary?

those can be sensual experiences too. there's closeness there. also possibly they try out guided masturbation involved from across the confessional grid, but that's a whole other thing.

[sofiatarot]

What legacy will I leave in my career and in the world? PAC READING

TIP JAR - FREE READINGS - PAID READINGS

Let’s explore how your art influences the world. I believe everything can be art in its potential and essence—whether it's something literal, like an artistic creation, or any career or path you’ve chosen. Your life is your art, and you are the artist.

We’ll look at how your career affects the world, either directly or indirectly.

1-2

3-4

Little note: I’m aware of the old belief that only "famous" or public figures can leave a mark or create a before-and-after impact. But let me clarify: we are all here for a reason. Each of us contributes to either the improvement or decline of the world. We all hold the same level of importance and impact on a soul/spirit level. Everything else is just appearances.

Please always remember that what you do matters, and by following your passion, you are energetically helping and contributing to the world. We are all responsible for creating a new world—heaven on Earth.

Group 1:

Your legacy will be one of resilience, strategy, and transformation. You’re someone who has faced challenges with cleverness and a sharp mind, using your struggles as opportunities to rise above. The impact you leave on the world will stem from your ability to outmaneuver obstacles and show others how to adapt in difficult situations.

You are a visionary, someone who turns ideas into action. Your career will reflect bold, strategic moves that inspire others to take charge of their own destiny. The world will remember you as someone who took calculated risks and proved that intelligence and creativity can overcome even the harshest circumstances.

Your work is deeply rooted in truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. The heartbreaks and setbacks you’ve endured have only strengthened your determination to create something meaningful. While others may have faltered, you’ve used those experiences to fuel your purpose, teaching others to find strength in their vulnerability.

You are a leader who balances charisma with grounded wisdom. People are drawn to your confidence and warmth, and you’ll leave a legacy of empowerment, especially for those who felt unseen or undervalued. Your career will inspire others to embrace their unique qualities and step into their own light.

However, the journey hasn’t been without its sacrifices. You’ve faced periods of disconnection, where collaboration felt more like a burden than a joy. Yet these moments have taught you how to stand firm in your vision, reminding others that independence and collaboration can coexist.

Your legacy will also involve bridging gaps and building foundations. Whether through literal structures or metaphorical ones, your career will leave behind a sense of stability and progress. You’ve taught the world that true success requires both careful planning and the courage to act.

Your emotional depth is one of your greatest strengths, but it hasn’t always been easy to manage. At times, your passion has felt overwhelming or misdirected, but your willingness to face these emotions head-on has turned them into powerful tools of expression and connection.

You will be remembered as someone who brought people together, even when the odds seemed impossible. Your work will foster unity and understanding, teaching the importance of collaboration and shared vision.

Ultimately, your legacy will shine as a testament to resilience, transformation, and the power of a determined spirit. You’ve proven that even in the face of adversity, it’s possible to create something lasting and profound.

Group 2:

Your legacy is one of hope, healing, and the reclamation of power. You have walked through darkness and emerged stronger, and the world will remember you as a beacon for those who feel lost or defeated.

You’re a bridge between the past and the future. Your career is rooted in nostalgia and the lessons of history, yet it also pushes boundaries and redefines what is possible. This duality makes your work timeless, resonating across generations.

Your creative spark is undeniable, and your passion for growth and learning inspires others to take chances and embrace new opportunities. Even in moments of doubt, you’ve persevered, proving that beginnings and endings are all part of the same journey.

At times, your career has been shaped by power struggles and moments of uncertainty. These challenges have taught you the value of integrity and humility. You’ve learned that true authority comes from within, and your ability to rise above external pressures will leave an indelible mark.

Your legacy will include breaking societal norms and redefining success. You’re not afraid to challenge expectations, and your work reflects a balance between personal freedom and responsibility. This fearless approach will inspire others to embrace their individuality.

Your ability to adapt and rebuild will be a central theme in your career. Even when faced with failure or setbacks, you’ve found ways to pivot and keep moving forward. This resilience will show others that no situation is ever truly final.

You have a magnetic presence that draws people to you, but it hasn’t always been easy to manage. At times, your charisma has been misunderstood or underestimated, yet it’s precisely this complexity that makes your work so impactful.

You will leave behind a legacy of liberation—helping others free themselves from limiting beliefs and societal expectations. Your career will serve as a roadmap for anyone seeking to reclaim their power and redefine their identity.

Ultimately, your work will be remembered as a source of light in dark times, proving that healing and transformation are possible no matter the circumstances.

Group 3

Your legacy will be one of introspection, wisdom, and quiet power. You are a seeker of truth, someone who has delved deeply into life’s mysteries and emerged with profound insights. The world will remember you as a guide for those navigating their own paths.

Your career is marked by cycles of growth and reflection. You’ve embraced change as a necessary part of life, showing others that even setbacks can lead to new opportunities. This perspective will inspire many to keep moving forward, no matter the obstacles.

Creativity is at the heart of your legacy, but it hasn’t always been straightforward. You’ve faced blocks and moments of doubt, yet these experiences have only deepened your understanding of what it means to create authentically.

Your work challenges conventional ideas and explores themes that others might shy away from. You’re unafraid to confront the shadows, using your career as a platform to shed light on the hidden or misunderstood aspects of life.

You have a unique ability to balance intuition with logic, blending emotional depth with intellectual rigor. This combination makes your work both deeply personal and universally relevant, touching hearts and minds alike.

Your legacy will include breaking down barriers—whether cultural, emotional, or intellectual. You’ve shown that vulnerability and strength can coexist, and this message will resonate long after your career has ended.

At times, your path has been solitary, but this solitude has only strengthened your connection to your inner wisdom. You’ve used these moments to create work that is deeply meaningful, offering guidance to those who feel lost or disconnected.

You will be remembered as someone who brought clarity to confusion and hope to despair. Your work will serve as a reminder that even in the darkest times, there is always a way forward.

Ultimately, your legacy is one of transformation and enlightenment, leaving a lasting impact on those who encounter your work.

Group 4

Your legacy is one of empowerment, discipline, and mastery. You are a force to be reckoned with, and the world will remember you as someone who harnessed their power to create lasting change.

Your career is built on hard work and dedication. You’ve shown that success doesn’t come overnight but is the result of consistent effort and unwavering commitment. This message will inspire generations to pursue their dreams with determination.

You are a natural leader, someone who isn’t afraid to take charge and make tough decisions. Your work reflects this strength, and others will look to you as a model of confidence and capability.

Your ability to balance ambition with compassion is one of your greatest strengths. You’ve taught the world that success isn’t just about individual achievement but also about lifting others along the way.

At times, you’ve faced temptations or distractions, yet your ability to stay focused and disciplined has set you apart. This resilience will leave a lasting impression, showing others the importance of staying true to their goals.

Your career will include moments of collaboration and celebration, where your ability to bring people together shines. You’ll be remembered for creating spaces of joy and unity, teaching others the value of community and shared success.

You are deeply intuitive, even when you don’t always trust yourself. Over time, you’ve learned to listen to your inner voice, and this wisdom will guide others to do the same.

Your work challenges societal norms, pushing the boundaries of what’s possible and encouraging others to think outside the box. You’ll leave a legacy of innovation and progress, paving the way for future generations.

Ultimately, your legacy will be one of empowerment and transformation, proving that with focus, discipline, and heart, anything is possible. You’ve shown the world the power of perseverance and the beauty of a life lived with purpose.

xoxo🦋

[crescenthistory]

omg congratsss on 2k!!! could i request prompt 31 from the dialogue list with remus? i’m just thinking about oblivious rem… like she’d be flirting with him in EVERY possible opportunity and he’s just like oh she’s the sweetest to me we have such a nice friendship😭

thank you so much for participating, lovely! unfortunately i evidently don't know what a drabble is, so i hope you enjoy this one-shot lol<33

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i will ARGUE for prompt 31 "give me a kiss, you beautiful idiot" with remus lupin

carina's 2k celebration

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cw: gn!reader, oblivious!remus, uk university au, background prongsfoot, disabled!remus, remus is taller than you because he is taller than everyone, physical affection, remus pov, did i make rem a history student? yes i did, sue me

wc: 3.7k 

Remus was beginning to fear he might be slightly foolish.

This whole exam season he had existed solely by your side, attached at the hip with the strongest stitch a sewing needle could provide. This brand of existence had not come as too big of a surprise to either of you – nor to your respective friends from your hometowns that you updated over messages and the occasional video call.

When Remus made the decision to go to a university far away from all his friends and family, he had been silently cursing himself for it the whole while. This university in the middle of nowhere had an excellent arts and humanities faculty that specialised in the perfect niche intersection between history and literature that Remus had always been so infatuated with. After the confidence instilled in him by his best mates from boarding school and the reassuring kisses from his painfully aging parents, Remus knew he had to go.

It was now or never for him. Give it a few years, he would want to be back home with his Mam and Tad, taking care of the farm and visiting his mates as they established families and developed their lives. This was his chance.

Yet, it ached to step away, an innate fear that had been hibernating for years rearing its head once more. Before his mates came into his life, Remus had believed himself incapable of forming meaningful connections. With his limb difference and autoimmune disorder, he had alway thought himself too different. Everything about him was odd, as he had been promptly informed on the playground one day and never forgotten. His gait was slower, his interests were peculiar, his arm looked different; Remus Lupin was surely doomed.

When, despite all odds, he found mates that didn’t just like him despite his oddities, but because of them – how could he have been stupid enough to leave them? 

“Just you wait and see, cariad,” his Mam, Hope, had whispered softly and patted his cheek as he hesitated to submit his application. “Surely if the world can produce those three lovely boys of yours, there must be more out there.”

His mother, Remus had come to learn, was consistently correct.

Because on the very first day of freshers’ week at a new university in a new town, into his life came you; so beautifully kind, so kindly beautiful, filled to the brim with an understanding, empathy and pure humour that he got drunk off of. One freshers’ week was all it took before he was fully swept into your life and friendships.

Much like how James had kindly adopted him on the train to boarding school, you picked him up and seemingly skipped the traditional “oh where is your accommodation”, “wow, how many siblings do you have?” and “no way, I did A-Level history too!” that he had come to expect and fear.

“You look like a palm tree in a snowstorm,” you had giggled after bumping into him. “Where’re you off to?”

Remus was unsure where he had been off to. He held his phone with the Welcome app opened, yet found it wholly unnavigable. “Uh, well. I don’t really know.”

Your smile had widened as you took him in. “What do you know, stranger?”

He had been practising how to answer the go-to questions and almost responded with “Oh, I’m Remus from Cardiff” when you threw him off. A warm feeling began to spread in his chest as he saw you sizing him up with zero judgement and all interest.

“I reckon just about enough to get through term, but a bit too little to get through freshers’.” A small giggle-like rumble had spread in his chest as he spoke, red nerves climbing up his neck in case you had intended the question differently.

You luckily hadn’t. “Perfect!” you announced with a grin. “I know enough to know you don’t get through fresher’s, you just go with the flow. So you can tag along with me, pretty boy.”

Remus never did stop tagging along with you. Only later that day, when you introduced him to your friends, did you learn each other’s names, too caught up in talking about anything and everything else. It went from being a nerve-racking day to a freeing one.

Your little pack of quickly-found friends welcomed Remus with enthusiasm to match yours, and together you made your way through your first week and then your first year at your middle-of-nowhere university. Though he enjoyed your little pack – named Alice, Frank, Emmeline and Dorcas, all of which he wanted to introduce to his friends back home – you were the one who stood out to him through it all.

His sentiments must have been clear as he stayed in touch with his best mates online, because they kept asking about you and eventually for you. Remus answered the phone around you once and introduced you to James on speaker, and ever since then, they wanted him to rope you into any and all chats they had.

Remus didn’t really understand why they were so insistent, but he had a sneaking suspicion he didn’t want to know. 

Eventually, realisation was forced to dawn on him, as all your friends went home for a bit when classes ended for a long assessment season, while only you and Remus stayed behind on campus. Alice lived with Frank’s family, who were only a short drive away, while Emmeline’s parents were loaded enough to fly her in and out whenever she had a free weekend, and Dorcas took any opportunity to jump on her Harley and disappear for a while. Once it was just you and Remus, alone in your designated corner of the ancient library, Remus’ skin began to tingle in a way he couldn’t explain away.

And thus, the needle came out and stitched you together effortlessly and intrinsically. 

If one of you were at the library, so was the other. If one wanted to go grab a bite mid-study session, so did the other. And, if Remus was called up by his friends, so were inadvertently you.

“Moony? Sunshine? You there?” Sirius’ voice sounded through the speakers on Remus’ laptop as he hastily lowered the volume. You were the only ones in this corner of the library, but sound might travel, he thought. You snorted as you looked at his stress for a second before turning to Sirius.

“We’re right here, Pads,” you teased as you turned the camera on, which Remus had forgotten to do.

“Ah, there! My eyes have been blessed.” His best mate’s voice was a bit static-y through the microphone, but Remus had grown used to that over the months. “Are you lovebirds still nesting in that library of yours?”

Remus’ brows furrowed as he swallowed uncomfortably over the blush already creeping up his neck. You beat him to answering it.

“I don’t know, are you lovebirds still living the life of luxury in Potter Manor?” you quipped back, raising an eyebrow at Sirius’ pixelated form. Remus felt oddly pleased with how well you seemed to know his friends through only talking over the phone.

Sirius’ shared his sentiments but expressed them in a wholly different manner – through a gasp. “How dare you insinuate that my affections towards James Fleamont is anything beyond brotherly?”

At that, James’ curly hair appeared in the doorway behind Sirius as he threw a t-shirt at his head. “Shut up, Sirius.” He laughed heartily before crouching down enough to see you and Remus. “Hi nerds! How’re you? Coming home soon?”

“God forbid someone prepares for the exam they spent all their money and braincells on getting to take,” Remus joked, knowing that James wouldn’t point out that most of the money that had gone towards Remus’ degree was Potter money. 

“Don’t worry James, I’ll ship him off to you soon.” You elbowed Remus to emphasise your point, but then smoothly slipped your arm behind his back to rest your hand between his shoulder blades. Remus physically relaxed. 

“No, no, he’s yours now babes, you just keep him,” James spoke as he walked restlessly about the room behind Sirius, who was very obviously ogling him, “but both of you please come visit as soon as you’re done with exams, yeah?”

You just smiled warmly and nodded, while Remus felt his flush creep up further. He thought this was probably a good point to cut his friends off before they took it too far and made you uncomfortable.

“What are you doing now, then? Considering you don’t seem to be dedicated to your own exams?” He shifted the conversation, instead allowing his best mates to talk at the two of you as you settled into your seat beside Remus. His skin warmed beneath his clothes where you kept your arm around him and eventually rested your head on his shoulder – in a way that couldn’t be explained away by mere physical contact.

The hour ebbed out as the lot of you went back and forth, trading life updates and stories cheerfully, pleased to leave your reading lists be for a little while. Eventually, Sirius began telling a story from their old boarding school days that involved a certain infamous Marlene that made your grin widen.

“We really should introduce Marlene to our friend Dorcas at some point,” you said, looking at Remus to see his opinion even as you seemingly spoke to Sirius. “It seems they would be a good match.”

Remus grinned, looking down at his lap before meeting your eyes. “Been thinking the same thing as of late.”

“Where’s Dorcas now?” James asked intriguingly.

“Oh, she’s off riding her bike for a while.” You waved your hand as if to say she’s just like that.

Sirius whistled and patted James on the back. “Sounds right up Marls’ alley.”

“You would be the one to know, considering you’re the only one of us who’s been up Marls’ alley.” Even as James spoke, he began to shield his body, seemingly prepared for the way Sirius would begin swatting at him.

“Prongs, we snogged once in year four to figure things out – it’s really time you let this go.”

Remus couldn’t help but snicker, which made you laugh and made Sirius narrow his eyes at him all at the same time. 

“Seems like that university of yours is where everyone meets their soulmates, then,” Sirius said in a concerningly smug tone. “If Marlene’s other half has finally been found and yours, Moony, is–”

Remus cut him off with a nervous laugh, waving him off. “Speaking of soulmates, how’s Lily doing, James?” His voice was a bit too high-pitched as he pointedly stared only at Sirius and not at you, whose gaze he could feel caressing his cheek. He hoped the look he gave Sirius read as sorry, shut up, here’s some ammunition.

Luckily, his friend took the bait, albeit only after a wolfish grin sent his way and what looked like a wink aimed at… you. “Yes, how is little Red?” Sirius asked, jumping on Remus’ diversion as James groaned.

“Happily engaged to Mary, as you know, Sirius.” James had apparently been eager to dish out old embarrassing stories of childhood crushes but not receive them. “We’ll see her next week at Peter’s.”

Remus laughed lightly as he looked at the two boyfriends quarreling in a manner only the two of them could ever pull off, never once turning his head to meet your gaze that still didn’t feel aimed in the same direction as his.

James and Sirius’ voices kept bouncing off the aging stone walls that surrounded you, creeping in between the pages of the books on the shelves. Remus enjoyed it – until you yawned. It was quiet, understated, but at last made Remus’ gaze smoothly sweep over to you, skin around his eyes crinkling at what he found. The smile on your lips was genuine as you took in the conversation, but your eyes had a glassy look to them that Remus had come to know as a tell-tale sign that it’s time to resign for the night. You stretched your neck a little after your yawn, as if the muscles there were ailing you, and Remus had half a mind to reach out and massage any aches away, if that had not been wholly unhinged of him.

Instead, he cleared his throat slightly and looked over at James and Sirius’ images on the screen. It was a sound they were well used to from years of dorming together and made nostalgic – yet no less mischievous – grins break out on their faces.

“Want to get rid of us already, Moons?” Sirius teased, but even he was beginning to look a tad bit tired, in that way only his friends would be able to decipher. 

“Yes, I am beyond bored with you both.” Remus’ tone was sarcastically monotonous until he could no longer hold back his smile. “I want to go back to my blissful existence without your intervention.”

“Don’t be mean,” you faux chided as you swatted the shoulder you had been leaning against not long ago. 

James held one hand up in defense while the other seemed to point towards you. “You really should listen to your better half there, Rem.”

“We boring old friends won’t occupy your precious time together any longer,” Sirius added solemnly as he placed his hands placatingly on James’ shoulders to get him to drop his hands and look sideways with a grin. “Run off and do something wise with your time.”

Remus shook his head. “It was nice talking to you both.” He ignored the twinge in his heart at how much he meant it, all the while not being able to wish himself to be out of your company in favour of theirs. “We’ll see each other soon.”

“And speak sooner!” You added happily, seeming to have chirped up with renewed energy at the closing of the conversation. “I’ll bully him into calling you at least once more before exams.”

“What a blessing you are, darling.” Sirius held a thumbs up, which Remus felt was unnecessary. “Keep reining him in.”

“Okay, alright.” Remus fought back a chuckle and began waving to the camera. “Bye bye, guys. Goodnight.”

You echoed his sentiments, leaning into his side as you waved.

“Goodnight!” James called. “I’m sending you big goodnight kisses for when your lips aren’t occupied, Moon–”

Remus closed his laptop and cut off the connection before James – and, god forbid, Sirius – could make any further attempts at mocking him. He let out a sound that was a mix of a heavy sigh and a chuckle, letting his head fall forward to hit his laptop with a soft thud as he closed his eyes. “Good God.”

You just laughed quietly and patted his shoulder closest to you before getting out of your seat and, presumably, stretching. Remus decided to stay put with his eyes closed for that, to be on the safe side. “Your friends are a breed of their own. I really like them.”

“I’m glad you do.” Remus turned his head sideways to peak up at you as you leisurely began to collect your things. “Ready to go home and sleep?”

You quirked an eyebrow at him in a manner that made him flush beyond his understanding. “Are you?”

He pushed any and all thoughts down as he forced himself up from the table with a sigh. “I am. I fear I can’t read another sentence, especially not if this historian is going to keep referencing Freud.”

“Which he will.” 

“I know,” Remus groaned. “Thus; let’s head out.”

You packed in relative comfortable silence, digesting the conversation and the day side by side. You helped Remus pack his pencils back in his pencil case and zipping it shut wordlessly, as always refusing any thanks. The smile you gave him as you did so was enough to make him want to thank you again anyway.

As you walked to the lift together, chatting idly, Remus allowed himself to bask in how close you seemed to always walk to him and how lucky he was to have made a friend as good as you.

James and Sirius’ comments remained in his brain, though, sifting around in a pond of increasing nerves about how you might have received and interpreted them. The thought of you getting home to your dorm and feeling uncomfortable or wary was enough to make him want to abandon his own ego and address it.

Despite the incoming spring, British weather remained stubborn, and thus the library was basked in a beautiful dusk, not quite pitch black, but enough for the yellow light streaming out of the windows while you walked past to seem mystical and magical. You walked together to the gates, just outside of which, you would have to part ways, Remus taking the left-turn and you the right.

Remus let you get right outside the black gates, but still on library property when he stopped, prompting you to do the same and look back at him with a curious gaze.

“I–” he began, a bit uncertain about how to word this. “Before you go, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” A breath. “About Sirius and James. If they ever make you uncomfortable in any way, please just say so and I’ll get them to stop it, I swear. I don’t know what they’re getting at.”

You furrowed your brows a little, but not in a way that voiced upset – rather on the contrary, it’s the same furrow Remus often observes appears on your face right before he makes you laugh.

“What, those little comments earlier?” you asked, confusion and mirth warring in your tone.

Remus’ stomach dropped a little at the thought that you also picked up on it, but remained relieved that you didn’t seem overly upset. “Yes, I– they’re twats sometimes, you know, so please just pay them no mind. Boarding school kids with bad humour. I don’t know what they’re getting at.”

The corners of your lips began to curl upward as you took a step closer to him. Remus’ breath lodged in his throat at the action, however small. The poetic side of his mind would immortalise the image of you, tired and beautiful in the grey night and yellow light, smiling at him like your heart harboured a secret, even though he was close enough to feel it beating. 

“I know what they’re getting at.” You said it so simply, all you were missing was a shrug as the cherry on top. “I don’t mind.”

Remus had never enjoyed being compared to an animal, but he did recognise how his mouth opened and closed, not much unlike a fish. He couldn’t decide whether to ask you do? or you don’t? Instead, he asked, “What?”

“Do you mind?” Your eyes grew a shade more serious then, scanning his kindly. You reached out a hand to rest on his upper arm, squeezing it through his jumper and corduroy jacket.

It was Remus’ turn to look confused. “Well, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

Yet again, you looked to be fighting a smile. “Yes, but do you mind?”

Remus thought that maybe, just maybe, he might be understanding what you just asked. He hoped he was not mistaken when he let out his whisper. “No.”

“Then give me a kiss goodnight, you beautiful idiot.” 

You spoke with such an endearing tone and smile, one that reassured him that you meant it but you were also not issuing a demand; it was you inviting him and teasing him at the same time. Just like a friend would, except Remus truly did not want to only be friends anymore.

Though there was no real need, Remus took a step closer to you and slowly lowered his face to meet yours, amber eyes staying on yours for as long as possible before your lips met, both sets curled up into matching smiles. His fingers came up to gently cup your cheek, fingertips gliding past your ear and into your hair, while his residual limb snuck around your waist, holding you close to him.

Remus kissed you and he realised that this is what he should have been doing all along. Remus kissed you and was grateful that this was the first time because it meant immensely more now than it ever could have before. Remus kissed you and he knew for certain that if he was an idiot, he wanted to be yours.

When you parted, he couldn’t stand pulling too far away, and kept you close to him by leaning his forehead against yours, tightening his hold on you. He didn’t open his eyes right away, instead breathing you in, melting into the memory of the moment.

Then, a wicked grin took over and he opened his eyes to find yours already looking at him with an affection he should have recognised sooner. “You think I’m beautiful?” he asked, and it sounded like humour but it felt deeper. 

“Stunning,” you whispered, tracing his cheek with your fingertips. Remus knew you were genuine.

“But still an idiot?” This time it was just humour.

“Oh, absolutely.” You laughed. “At least you know enough to get through exams.” He caught your reference and savoured it in his heart.

“I better, because I intend to finish this degree with you.” Remus dared to kiss your cheek, which almost felt more intimate. “As your idiot, right?”

You just nodded, with an expression that spoke volumes beyond words. “Yeah. Mine.”

Remus accepted in that moment that he had been more than slightly foolish. He couldn’t find it in him to regret it, though, as he decided to follow you all the way home in the darkening night.

[feinyan]

DATING HEADCANONS featuring. satoru gojo, itadori yuji, megumi fushiguro and toge inumaki.

some random small dating headcanons involving the jujutsu kaisen boys. no tags, just fluff. enjoy.

gojo, who would sacrifice the world and everyone in it for you. who knows the dangers of letting himself be so vulnerable with someone, but can't help but want to offer everything to you. he would do anything for your smile, for the moments you give him which he treasures so closely to his heart. gojo, who cannot keep his hands off of you. who, to be frank, does not understand the concept of personal space. whos constantly finding an excuse to slide his arm around your shoulder, your waist, or to hold your hand. gojo, who spoils you!!! so so so much. who sees something thats hellishly expensive that you'd even slightly like and doesn't think twice before buying it. who brings you bags of goodies or expensive designer stuff he thinks you'd look just right in when returning from overseas missions. gojo, who to no surprise, loves to tease to get reactions out of you. who doesn't know how to quit it. he's just so fond of your flustered face, or the way you stare at him with pouty eyes after he says something that makes your heart race. gojo, who loves to switch up the nicknames he uses on you. who calls you princess when you're pouty, or calls you ma'am when you're upset. who in a whiny, dragged out tone says "babyyyyy," when you say no to something stupid he suggests.

itadori, who is the most respectful, sweetest boy ever. it doesn't come as a surprise, but hes soooo polite with everything he does. he holds doors open for you, walks on the close-to-road part of the sidewalk when you walk together, holds your bags for you, or buttons up your jackets. small, yes, but meaningful things. itadori, who loves to take pictures of you!!! who is constantly changing his lockscreen to different photos of you, because ohhh, you're so cute and you look good in everything! he can't decide what to stick with. itadori, who is sooooo gentle with you. who knows he could hurt you on accident, and dies a little at the thought of that. he treats you with so much care, his touch is so gentle regardless of if its in the way he holds you or kisses you. or does anything really. itadori, who gives you his first for everything. who wants to be yours for his lifetime, and experience everything he possibly can with you. despite knowing the dangers he could be to you, and knowing that wanting you forever is selfish, but he can't help himself when you mean just about everything to him. itadori, who cannot hide things for the life of him. who buys you a cute gift for an upcoming special occasion, and immediately blurts it out that he got you it the moment he sees you. or who gets told something thats a secret by someone else, and says "okay, don't tell them i told you, 'kay? but,"

megumi, who tries soooo hard to impress you. who puts more effort into his training, or offers to do something he usually wouldn't when you're around. he's not even sure if he notices the change himself, but his classmates like yuji and nobara sure do! megumi, who is constantly glued to your side. unintentionally following you around, or offering to hold your things or walk you places just so he has the opportunity to be with you just a little longer. megumi, who not so secretly adores the attention you give him. who grumbles about your touch, or constant hand holding, but if you're not clinging onto him he'll complain, "it's cold today. my hands are freezing," even in the scorching hot. who pretends to not listen to your babbling in his ears, but proves you wrong by bringing up something you'd mentioned you like even briefly in a conversation weeks later. megumi, who lends you his clothing and can't help but stare. if it's cold, he'll slide his jacket over your shoulders and a scarf around your neck. sure, maybe he's freezing his ass off, but he can handle it if it means seeing you happy. megumi, who doesn't understand why you want him. but he understands fully why he wants you. who pictures you as someone made for him, who can't get every little interaction you two share out of his head. who denied his feelings for so long yet came to accept them. he knows he wants to be someone you're able to rely on, or can turn to when you want to feel safe. he would give you everything and try his hardest for you, even if he'd never admit it.

inumaki, who sends you little screenshots from his games that remind you of him. who see's a cute, whimsical little creature in a game and thinks 'cute. i should show this to s/o' inumaki, who has his phone on him constantly so he can text you. who is constantly sending you messages, or finding excuses to talk to you, and is surprisingly good at communication for someone that's unable to properly speak. inumaki, who makes up for your lack of verbal communication with displays of affection. who simply enjoys your presence more than anything. who stands closest to you no matter what you're doing, holds your hands all the time or follows you around. inumaki, who despite not being able to speak in anything other than ingredients, is a d1 yapper. looooves to text you silly shit, and yeah .. he plays a lot of online games, so sometimes he'll accidentally treat you like a homie instead of a s/o. whoopsie!! but its never serious. who drags you into his pranks, but always has to deal with the consequences himself :( inumaki, who wants to share his hobbies and interests with you. watching mukbang together, inviting you to play games even if you have no idea what you're doing. he loves to tease if you're not very good, or 'accidentally' make you lose if you're winning against him. accidental "drop the controller" slips from his lips, but hey, maybe if he's feeling nice he'll offer a win out of pity.

@ feinyan

[primofate]

Genshin Angst Headcanons - Why the two of you broke up

Note: Had an unexpected free day! I haven't written in a while, please excuse the mistakes, if any.

Disclaimer at the end of the post

Warning: Some are pretty predictable. Each of them have their own issues, lore wise, so some are lore heavy. You might not agree with some of them, but its how I see it, so to each their own. Let me know what you think! Some are quite angsty. Some scenes it's you breaking up with him and some are vice versa. Didn't feel like writing Razor, Venti and Xingqiu.

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Bennett, Chongyun, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Tighnari, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader

Personal Favourites in this work: Lyney, Itto, Kazuha

Aether

Sister issues. Enough said.

He realized he didn't have enough time to spare romancing with someone.

Somewhere along the way he felt guilt that he was enjoying his time with you while his sister went through some sort of villain origin story that seemingly turned her bad.

Top off all the adventuring, searching, solving problems for other people that he did...Where did that leave you, exactly?

"...I'm sorry, Y/N... I just... I don't think this is the right time for me to be together with you,"

Albedo

Contrary to popular belief it wouldn't be his lack of time or extreme focus on his alchemical experiments that would break the two of you up. He knows how to manage his time.

It was the RESULTS of experiments and his research that would put him away from you.

The possibility that HE or his world, was way too dangerous for you.

How many "Albedos" did Rhinedottir really create? Was there more than three? Perhaps four, five? And what happens when you come face to face with another Albedo?

"I'm afraid...There are far too many dangers surrounding myself... There are answers that I can't find...and perhaps that's the reason why my answer is to part ways with you,"

Alhaitham

Too much of a nonchalant attitude.

He expressed some kind of interest in you...but it's like... once in a blue moon. 95% of the time you're not sure if he's really into you. It almost seems like he's more into that book he reads all the time.

Simply just not good at expressing himself. Like, at all. Hides behind a "whatever works" and "I don't care about what other people think of me" attitude, unfortunately that seems to include you.

Is so straightforward that sometimes it hurts, but he's really just telling the truth through logical analysis.

will act like the breakup didn't hurt nor affect him at all. In turn it hurts you instead.

"I see. So you've had enough of me... And you only spoke up now? Pointing it out earlier could've diverted us from this path...If that's how you feel already I suggest that we stop seeing each other,"

"That's it? You're not even going to try and work it out with me?"

"What's there to work out? You've made yourself clear. You're not satisfied with the way I treat you, and I'm afraid I'm not going to change the way I act just for your pleasure... It'd be more meaningful for you to find someone who fits your criterias,"

Ayato

entering a relationship with a noble was not as easy as one thought.

It's not just about being together forever and feeling lucky because Ayato is rich and your whole life is set, it's also the not fitting in, the etiquette, the whispers from townfolk that you were too ordinary for him, the work that you needed to do if you were to become his wife.

All that was not really a big problem for you, but Ayato seemed not to know of your struggles, he was extremely busy, and when he wasn't, he seemed to think that everything was well and fine, since you were getting all your basic needs met and even more.

"...So I'm sorry, Ayato. This is just... All too much for me. I'm sorry,"

"...I understand. Forgive me, it seems that I've overlooked a lot of things...Perhaps it is as you say, that it'd be better for us to grow apart rather than grow together,"

Baizhu

because he is a ticking time bomb, no matter which way he looked it's not going to end well for both of you.

He either dies early or lives forever. In both scenarios he anticipates that the two of you are just going to be in a world of hurt.

Besides, he didn't mean to get so attached to someone in the first place, he knew his quest for immortality was long and arduous. You didn't deserve to walk that difficult road too.

While breaking up, will conceal the fact that he's only thinking of you and will possibly hurt you in the process.

"I'm sorry, but it's for the best. I ask that you continue going forward without me, there's no space for you in my... ideal future,"

Bennett

We all know it...it's his bad luck. However, it wasn't YOU who had a problem with it, it was HIM.

You understood that his bad luck was just some extended part of him, plus it's not like it was always bad, there were a lot of good times too. Plenty!

But the guilt ate him up whenever the two of you were stuck in a seemingly impossible scenario and predicament, brought on by his luck. He just had enough of it one day.

"I...I can't keep doing this to you every day! It's not fair..."

will be on the brink of tears before he even starts.

"Maybe it's better if you find someone else to adventure with, Y/N, sorry...!"

runs away before you can even get a word in.

Chongyun

Thinks he's not good enough in every aspect. It's really, seriously not about you. He thinks he's lacking in everything. Strength, maturity, experience, confidence.

So badly wants to stay with you but feels like he's not good enough and thinks that you're better off with someone else.

"D-Don't misunderstand... It's not because I don't like you anymore... I just...Please find someone else!"

Cyno

his bad jokes and TCG addiction. just kidding, you're not that shallow.

A lot of people are intimidated by him being the General Mahamatra because he gives importance to justice. While you, who had seen a bit more of him than other people had, it seemed more of an obsession to uphold the Akademiya's law and integrity.

This was not a big problem to you, you liked how he was serious at work.

Until one day when you were accused of plagiarising one of your papers and Cyno was the one sent to give you a first offense warning. The Akademiya knew of your relationship, that's probably why they sent him, to make it harder on the two of you.

Cyno didn't listen to your explanations on how it was an honest mistake, he still gave you the warning that you "deserved"

From then on it had just been different between the two of you, so it was really a mutual breakup. Or so you thought.

"...After that, I just realized that maybe this isn't the right time for us... We're both working for the Akademiya, we both take our jobs seriously...Unfortunately that seems to just be getting in the way of us...I think it's best if we stop seeing each other,"

"...I see." he pauses for a minute, as if tossing your words in his mind. "I...agree. Parting ways would certainly make work easier for both of us...it's the professional thing to do,"

Dainsleif

Has not moved on from his past.

Sure, everyone has their own baggage to carry, their own history to live through...but Dainsleif has heavier things than that. He seemed to wake up every day thinking of Khaenri'ah and the days long past. Was it regret? Nostalgia? Loneliness? You didn't know. You just knew that he wasn't really completely THERE with you in the present. Part of him still lived in the past.

When you explained that you felt like the two of you were not moving forward together and that it seemed like he wanted to go back to the past instead, he got offended.

"...My past is something that I carry forever, you'd claimed that you understood that," he starts.

"I do! But carrying it with you and letting it drag you backwards are two different things!"

He falters for a moment, only to leave you with his last words before turning away from you forever: "You will never understand, the weight that I carry,"

Diluc

is too guarded. You'd been friends for a long, long, long, long time before he decided he could let you in enough and be more intimate with you.

Even then everything was going at a snail's pace, though you were extremely patient with him.

The biggest problem with Diluc was that the two of you would progress one day, take a step forward, and then the next day it was like the two of you took two steps back.

Example: The two of you went out for a simple stargazing excursion late one night, it was nice and he had been incredibly affectionate. The next day he had trouble even meeting your gaze, and disappeared to do his work. It was also a little awkward during dinnertime. This scenario had happened more than once.

Hint: the closer he got to you the more afraid he became, thinking that he would one day lose you too.

"I...I can't. I love you but I...I've waited far too long. I'm sorry. I'm tired of this endless chase for you!"

He couldn't even say a thing. He'd wanted to ask you to stay, to wait for him a little longer, but he already knew how incredibly selfish that would have been. Instead, he grimaced, and looked away from your gaze, trying to find something worthwhile to say. There was only silence for a few moments.

"Goodbye Diluc," that's when you turned away.

Gorou

worships Kokomi too much and your insecurities just kept circling around in your head.

You know its his job. You know he isn't like that but the problem was YOU and not him.

Simply said you let your insecurity eat up the relationship between the two of you.

You couldn't bring yourself to say that you were jealous of the way he admired Kokomi so you broke up with him with another reason in tow.

Unfortunately, you're not a very good liar face to face so you did a butthole move and actually broke up with him through a letter. You just couldn't face him and tell him why.

All you mentioned in the letter was that you needed time to think and be away from him, and told him not to worry because it was your problem, not his.

Poor Gorou reread that letter over and over, trying to understand what went wrong.

Heizou

is just a natural flirt. You're not sure if he's doing it on purpose or not and you're not sure if he's even aware he's like that.

Anyway you'd seen him getting overly friendly (just another word for flirting) with a few other people a couple of times. You didn't let it get to you the first, fourth or even eighth time but you realized that he KNOWS that you're watching him do that.

So you confront him about it, but he claims that it's just his way of gathering information from others. People like to hear good things and some people are more susceptible to flirtatious comments so he resorts to that for his investigation sometimes.

You didn't really completely buy it and even if you did, it's not like this was healthy for your relationship. You just couldn't make yourself comfortable with it.

*You just chalked it up to the two of you being incompatible.

"I'm just not comfortable with that...I don't think I have to say sorry for how I feel but...I'm sorry anyway because I know you're just doing your job... It's probably best if we part ways here..."

"Is there any way to change your mind?" he genuinely asks.

You only give a lopsided smile. "You're a detective, I think you already know the answer to that,"

Yet he didn't stop you from walking away.

Itto

Kept breaking promises because he was too airheaded or too occupied doing something "stupid" with the kids or with his gang.

Pretty soon it just felt like you were an afterthought while everyone else in his life took precedent.

Got a ramen date? Oops, sorry! Got caught up looking for a strong onikabuto in the forest!

Needed his help to move some things? Gah, he was vandalising the bulletin boards, so he's running a bit late!

What's more you didn't actually mind that carefree, airheaded side of him...but it really got to you when he couldn't even seem to make you a priority. Not once.

He only realized that when he came running, late again, and stood face to face with a crying you.

"Hey sorry Y/N, I was just--...Why are you crying?!" is completely dumbfounded and clueless, mostly because when he came late, you had always shrugged it off with a smile on your face, or so he thought. This time you had a completely different reaction.

"I hate you...*hic* I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

Shocked beyond belief. It wasn't like you to just blow up like that, but he couldn't do anything except watch you turn and run away from him after that exclamation.

Kaeya

Sometimes you're not sure if he takes you seriously.

Recently, he's not where he says he is, you don't know why he doesn't just tell you where he is.

He said he'd be working late, but then you find out he's at Angel's Share.

He said he'll be at Angel's Share, but then you catch word from Jean that he's out on a late mission.

He said he's escorting a caravan to Mondstadt but he's actually on assignment in Liyue.

It came to the point where you altogether just stopped looking for him cause half of the time you couldn't find him. It's like he's avoiding you or something, which, actually, seems just about right since he's been so busy with "work"

It reached a breaking point when, for a week, you were unable to bring him the lunch you prepared...because he was not where he said he was going to be. It was starting to get annoying.

"I don't understand why you're lying to me! Why do you have to tell me you'll be at Angel's Share this afternoon when you're not? Do you realize you make me walk all the way there only to come all the way back with nothing achieved?"

"I'm sorry snowflake, that wasn't my intention," though he still chuckles despite knowing full well that you were about to turn away.

"You know what, let me know when you're ready to stop making jokes. Until then, don't bother contacting me,"

He just didn't expect you to actually walk away from him.

Kaveh

Entertains everyone and anyone. Naturally kind at heart, will stop for anyone in trouble...even that flirtatious man/woman who is clearly just pining for his attention.

No he doesn't quite realize this.

The same person had asked for his help at least 4 times now and all 4 times he had been happy to offer a helping hand.

The last straw was when he was invited into the stranger's house, they had apparently needed someone to help them move and re-arrange furniture and he did, working till almost dinner time.

You'd caught him right by the person's door, because Kaveh was actually honest and told you he'd be helping them today, but the person was clearly eyeing Kaveh rather flirtatiously.

"Come again next time," you heard the person say rather happily. Kaveh only replies with "If I have nothing else to do, I suppose,"

"Kaveh, they're coming onto you and you keep letting it happen!"

"I'm not certain what you're talking about...They just needed some help around their house, nothing suspicious happened at all. Even if there was, I won't let anything happen between me and a stranger!"

"Then STOP helping them!"

"There isn't anything wrong with lending a hand...It was a quick move of things, that's all,"

"How would YOU feel if I just went into someone's house and kept helping them "move" things?"

"...I would think that's nice of you,"

You actually threw your hands up. "Oh, forget it! You know what, for someone who LOVES helping others, you're not doing such a great job of helping ME," then walked away and never came back. "Good riddance,"

Kazuha

He's a wandering samurai. You knew what you were getting into but you didn't expect dating him to be so hard.

He was gone for weeks on end, and you were not getting on that boat with him. In essence the two of you were just not ready to follow each other to the end's of the Earth, and that was fair. The two of you were young.

Kazuha kind of saw it coming, whenever he visited you, you seemed less spirited and he had an inkling as to why. The time apart was just too much for you.

It was a rather clean break actually. A real mutual breakup that the two of you agreed on.

"...You could say it's just not the right time for us," you even managed to laugh under your breath and he did the same, though it was barely audible.

"...Mm. There are matters that you need to attend to here...and there are things that I need to do out there," he slowly stood up from his sitting position next to you and still gazed at you rather lovingly. "...Perhaps, in another world, you and I are bound together,"

You gazed back forlornly, "...Just not in this one, it looks like,"

Lyney

because he will always choose his siblings over you. Always.

Though that's not a bad thing because you also think that family is important...somewhere along the way you realized that family is the ONLY thing he had and saw.

Example: Lynette and you had gotten ill at the same time one winter morning. Perhaps it was the cold that was passing around Fontaine. Lyney had been so worried about Lynette, that he seemed to have forgotten about you for the next few days. In fact, Lyney didn't even realize that you caught the cold too. You had only heard from Freminet, who you happened to cross paths with, that Lynette was also ill.

You thought that incident was the end of it, but really it seemed that whenever Lyney wanted to hang out with you, Lynette had to be there too. You tried to understand...after all there's still that mystery of disappearing women in Fontaine.

The breakup was induced when Lyney completely forgot about your birthday, because Freminet's was around the same time as yours. You helped Lyney prepare everything for Freminet, and said nothing about your own.

You realized that there was nothing wrong with choosing family over everything else...but the problem here was that Lyney didn't even have space for you in the first place.

So you left without saying anything. You figured he'd get over it quick. You had even gone so far as to move away from the main city of Fontaine and out into another island, because what would you say if he found you? That you were jealous of his siblings? You weren't going to ruin a family like that and it wasn't right to make him choose...so you just left without a word.

Neuvillette

Had a whole brainrot for this man:

Part 1

Part 2

Scaramouche

surprisingly it's not his anger issues.

It's the way he wouldn't acknowledge your relationship. You wonder how you even got into one with him.

There's no public show of affection, but even behind closed doors it rarely happened.

You knew that he was going to be like that, and so you didn't mind it all that much.

It was getting a bit much though when, out in public, he would walk further in front of you and refused to walk next to you. When he pretended like he didn't even know you. When he didn't stop to help you even when another man had shown interest in you, bordering on uncomfortable.

The more time passed the more you simply felt unloved...but for some reason you still blamed yourself.

"...I...don't know. Maybe you find me undesirable, or just...unappealing. Maybe you're embarrassed of me or...or..." maybe you just didn't care in the first place, you thought to yourself.

There was a long silence. Of you turning your gaze away, of him still piercing into yours. And then...

"Tsk...don't waste my time...Leave if you want to leave, door's open,"

Tartaglia

This one is simple. It's his obsession for fighting plus his complete disregard for himself. It's a constant heart attack for you. At some point the anxiety is just too much for you to handle.

Imagine living every day just wondering if he's safe at the same time knowing that he just loves to look for trouble.

The foul legacy that you know of, he uses it with disregard as well, despite knowing that it wasn't good for him.

And there are even days where you know he was heavily wounded but didn't go to you, in an attempt to shield you from worry.

It's a constant battle trying to stay sane and unworried, until one day it all just becomes too much.

"...Nothing I say will change anything, Tartaglia. This is who you are...This is who you need to be..." you whisper while bandaging his knuckles. He lets out a short hum.

It was silent all up until you finished with his hand, you squeeze it gently. "...I love you but...I can't keep doing this to myself, I'm tired...more so than I have ever been before,"

He lets your hand slip away from his knuckles, and that was the last he saw of you.

Thoma

This one is also simple. He was always taking care of others and running errands for others that he sometimes just couldn't catch a break.

Just a classic case of not enough time for you since he had a job to do for the Kamisato Clan.

He knows it, and feels awful about it. So he's the one who makes the move.

"It hurts that I can't give you what you deserve, Y/N. This isn't it... You deserve more than this but I can't give you that and I'm sorry. Please look for the love that you deserve,"

Tighnari

Remembers everything. Can be critical of things you've done, specially if he thinks there's a better way to do it.

Simply said you just feel stupid in front of him sometimes.

He doesn't mean to, but he sometimes forgets to appreciate or give praise to the things that you do well and even if he does, it tends to be short lived compared to his constructive criticisms.

Pretty soon you felt like he only looks at the bad things you do, and never the good. Though he was really only trying to teach and guide you as an equal.

He in fact feels that you are one of the few people who can keep up educational conversations with him.

The problem is he kind of forgets that you're his lover, and that you would enjoy his praise and affection from time to time.

"Do you... Do you ever have anything nice to say other than 'good work' or 'great observation'?" the words were out of your mouth before you could hold yourself back. Sometimes it was tiring to feel like you weren't good enough.

There's a flash of surprise that crosses Tighnari's expression for a split second, before he recovers. "...Had I not been praising your work enough lately? My apologies... It has a lot of merits, I just thought that you wanted my opinion on how to make it better,"

You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it again right after to ponder on his words. Somehow even that had managed to make you feel embarrassed. It was here you knew that the problem also lied within yourself.

"...Sorry, Tighnari...I think I'll need some time alone,"

He obliges quickly and asks. "That's reasonable. When would you like me to come back?"

"...Let me rephrase that... I need some time away. From us."

Xiao

Unfortunately there's a lot of things wrong here... his lack of affection. His aloof personality. His dedication to his yaksha duties. Despite that he does actually try to be gentlemanly or respectful of you.

The worst of it is that he didn't know how to be in a relationship, in other words he just wasn't ready for one, or perhaps he would never be ready for one.

He didn't understand that humans craved companionship and sometimes touch. He didn't understand that meant having to favour you over others, sometimes even putting you first over his yaksha duties.

Worst of it all was when he shut himself off from you, sometimes for days on end, when his karmic debt was too high. He only really did it to protect you, but never realized how isolated that made you feel.

When you confronted him about it, he felt attacked. Hiding away was the only way he knew how to cope...why couldn't you understand that?

"Let me help you, Xiao,"

"I don't need your help!" his tone would make you wince and just like that he disappears into a billow of smoke.

You never returned to Wangshu Inn after that. If he couldn't let you in, there was no use trying to knock on his heart. Xiao being Xiao, never sought you ought again either.

Zhongli

He had experienced so many things and you had listened to many a tales from him.

This is what caused you to realize that you hadn't even experienced life at all, and yet here you were willing to tie yourself down to him.

It just didn't feel like it added up. Here he was with all this knowledge of the world and here you were who had never even stepped outside of Liyue. By no means were you stupid, but you felt that you could be better not only for him, but for yourself if you learned more.

There was just such a huge gap in life experiences, and though you never expected to get to his level (he was a God who had lived for a long time, you would never catch up to him) you at least wanted to see what was out there with your own eyes instead of through his stories.

He understood that wholeheartedly, and had no qualms in letting you go.

"You will always have a place with me, Y/N. No amount of lifetimes will change that,"

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Disclaimer: Relationships will always have some sort of problem along the way, maybe big, maybe small but I just want to reiterate that breaking up is not always the solution. Communicating is very important. So to those of you who like taking fanfiction too seriously, let it be known that this is just a work of fiction. I don't actually suggest breaking up with someone as soon as there is the slight indication of a problem (Just saw someone commenting on a similar themed post for Haikyuu that this wouldn't happen in the real world if both parties were mature... I mean, sure, but, idk, you must be fun in parties... it's called fiction for a reason...)

[tainbocuailnge]

this is a final fantasy fourteen dawntrail post. it speaks incredibly for the desperation of the people of alexandria in its decline that they both couldn't bear to remember the dead and couldn't bear the thought of the dead no longer being remembered, and thus created this contradictory system where the dead are only remembered by something other than those to whom that memory is meaningful. so crushed by collective trauma and grief that they directed every effort to eradicating awareness of mortality altogether and it's resulted in a paradise where everyone is incredibly blasé about dying because the dead live forever in the cloud until they run out of spare souls and are completely paralyzed with fear of their own mortality.

but even more than desperation it speaks of a naive sincerity that the scientists and officials behind the project just actually genuinely built and maintained this giant memory database to preserve the deceased at increasingly large cost, rather than just lie that they totally did that to a populace who won't remember those deceased anyway. they're not harvesting souls to power the war effort while using a recreation of the beloved princess as puppet figurehead, they completely sincerely recreate the dead from their memories and simulate them living happily ever after, started by a sincere desire to not lose their beloved princess. living memory is an eternal theme park that actively goes out of its way to facilitate letting people who remember each other fondly meet again. it's the manifestation of a childish wish for a world where there are no partings, only reunions. it's a theme park rather than an actual city with a dmv and shit like amaurot was precisely Because it's a childish dream. it's fundamentally an artificial experience, but one which sole motive is to bring joy and relief from everyday sadness.

and sphene is the first and most prominent victim of that naive sincerity. she's the mascot of this theme park, and because she's the mascot in charge of providing this artificial but kind experience she can't ever break character. the people of alexandria couldn't bear the thought of her being forgotten, so they created a memory of her that would last forever, but they also couldn't bear to actually remember sphene, so she's a mascot instead of a person. she loves her people, and they love her, but none of them can possibly understand the weight that love puts on her shoulders. the sphene we meet is fundamentally trapped by other people's deeply limited understanding of her.

it's so so so important to her character that she's a small dainty feminine woman that exists to take care of everyone emotionally and be loved by them for being so nice and sweet and loving, and when she tries to arrange some kind of secure future she ends up with an abusive husband who ignores her wants and needs for his own ambitions, and she is fundamentally unable to act outside this highly gendered framework. sphene reads like the commonplace tragedy of the straight woman to me to the point where making her in lesbians with wuk lamat is like. I can certainly understand wanting to grant sphene the sense of liberation and comfort that many lesbians themselves feel at the realisation that they don't have to marry men, so far be it from me to say anyone is wrong to do so. but it's kinda ignoring part of what her deal is for the sake of that comfort I think.

not that lesbians have never ended up in abusive marriages with men but sphene very explicitly does not have other options, part of the tragedy is that you fundamentally cannot actually grant her that liberation and comfort. cahciua explicitly says there's no way to know what the real living sphene would have done because this sphene is a recreated memory of the beloved princess whose job is to sustain living memory. their darling sphene who will always listen to all their troubles and is always nice to them and will always take care of them. she's literally trapped by the role society assigned her, and that role is essentially to be their tradwife mother. the living sphene may have been into women, but the people who recorded her to create the sphene we meet never even considered the option.

do you guys know that tweet thread where OP describes going to a funeral for a woman they didn't know who'd died young of a heart attack, and the husband spent most of the eulogy talking about himself instead of his recently deceased wife, and by the end of the ceremony OP had learned nothing at all about what this woman was like beyond being a wife and mother? everyone fondly remembers the princess and queen of alexandria, but nobody remembers sphene. and just like all OP could still do for this woman was go to her casket and acknowledge that she too had been a full person in her own right before the stress of swallowing everything about herself killed her, all wuk lamat can really still do for sphene is think of her as the full person she must have been.

we're not told anything about what sphene was like as a leader, what her policies were, how she actually did her work, her vision for the future of her country before she died and was reconstructed. they only tell us everyone loved her so dearly because she was so kind to them. we're shown her dying moments and it's her using her airship to shield a civilian, so we can assume her love for her people was indeed true. but none of sphene's history that we're shown and nothing of how otis (who knew the living sphene) talks about her tells us anything about what she was like outside her role as beloved princess. her memories from after her "revival" are dissonant and corrupted and possibly not even real, and her policy of preserving living memory no matter what is a wish implanted in her by the people who reconstructed her. we don't even get to see what she looked like when alive. the only sphene the people know is the theme park mascot of living memory.

cahciua was exactly as erenville knew her and was true enough to herself to be able to turn against the system, so we're not given reason to believe any of the endless were tampered with. but sphene was already dead by the time they even tried to figure out how to preserve her memory, her actual soul and memories definitely long gone by the time the technology worked. we're explicitly told that nobody in everkeep really cared who or what sphene was as long as she adequately fulfilled this role of loving them all so much. she can't even tell you her favourite food, none of the people who labored so intensely and sincerely to bring her back bothered to write down even her most basic personal preferences when they reconstructed her. she has to deflect the question with "when I think of the people who make the food I can't pick just one" because the only preference she's allowed is loving all her people equally. she's completely thrown off that wuk lamat would even ask.

and it's precisely because she is remembered only as this kind loving woman who gave everything for her people that she is weak and powerless to actually do whatever it takes to keep them safe. she does not have the freedom to assert herself, let alone to be cruel or violent or take extreme actions. society does not give her that freedom, because she is a small dainty woman and (therefore) the only role allowed to her is to be their tradwife mother. so while her desire to protect her people is as real and true as it can be part of her plan to lobotomise herself in order to become someone capable of violence and cruelty also reads to me as that specific female frustration of wanting to destroy the sweet babygirl image of yourself by doing something extreme. like britney spears shaving her head. but in sphene's case destroying the babygirl image amounts to destroying herself completely, because the babygirl image of her is all that comprises her. and so when all is said and done the only fragment of sphene that is restored and lingers just a bit longer after that image is destroyed is the sphene that wuk lamat sincerely wanted to get to know.

[klausysworld]

Hey.. Been having a rough few days mentally.. Is it possible you could write an angst/fluff fic about Klaus saving the reader from death when she tries to unalive herself..? Pills being her poison of choice.. Klaus becoming terrified he lost the one thing that truly made his life meaningful again. He uses his blood to bring her back at just the brink of time. When she's conscious Klaus holds her tightly in relief and its super fluffy at the end..?

(Triggering content‼️)

A Moment of Comfort

Klaus had taken an interest in Y/n from day one.

She was a quiet person in a loud town and it interested him.

Everyone was self absorbed, nosey, invasive and involved but she just didn't seem to care.

At first he thought she might be the sarcastic type, the one that would give little quips that made up for her mostly observant side but she just didn't care. Not about anything. He thought that would bore him but he wanted to know why. He wanted to know what she wanted, what she needed to pull some care and some love, some happiness from within her.

Klaus had watched her a little, wanting to learn about her, to know her. However she wasn't someone you could know from the outside, he needed to understand her mind, her thoughts and her feelings to ever have any idea about who she really was.

Which was how he ended up sat beside her in the grill, tracing little patterns on her arm with his forefinger and chatting her ear off for the entirety of the afternoon. Eventually he had pulled a laugh from her and it made his whole face light up to see the smile that lingered on her delicate face.

She ended up with that same slightly detached look in her eyes when she pulled her hands away and left to walk home. Klaus followed her to keep her safe before going to his own house, wondering about her.

He learnt quickly that there was something mildly wrong. Maybe something sad had happened or maybe it was just the way she had become. There wasn't something wrong per say but there was something about her that made him worry for her. He wanted her to feel safe and secure but it was clear that she didn't always have that. Klaus wanted to be her net to catch her.

But first, he needed her to like him. Just a little bit.

She started to aswell.

She liked talking to him, listening to him. He grounded her when she got lost. After a while he would invite her over to his house and she would get to appreciate the Mikaelson manor. It was void and peaceful, she liked that about his home.

Klaus had bought a new chair just for her, it was round in shape so that she could curl up like he knew she wanted to. It was a protective position, defensive and he would often wonder why she felt so scared sometimes or perhaps just unstable?

He wasn't sure how to offer the security that he had to offer. However he knew that to really protect her, he needed her trust. Their understanding needed to be mutual to build a relationship of sorts. She had to help him help her.

But Y/n didn't really know how to do that. Who does?

Klaus tried though. He would offer her affection and someone to rely on from time to time. He would hold her when he could feel that she wanted that. Sometimes she would be more hesitant but after a little while she got used to his touch and enjoyed being wrapped in his strength, it made her feel shielded from the evil of the world.

Klaus would play with her hair until her eyes got heavy and sleep overtook her sweet mind. Often whens she slept he would just hold her tight and keep her warm, very occasionally he would actually put her into his bed; usually if it was already night or if he knew she was particularly exhausted. Every now and then her eyes would be particularly tired, sometimes he wondered if she was asleep with her eyes still open. He would see her expression go blank and he would try to talk to her, bring her back but every now and then he would accept that she wasn't in with the conversation and he would try to supply a source of comfort.

She was a good girl. Klaus knew that, she was sweet and loving but she reserved it for small moments and for certain people. Klaus became one of those people.

He cared for her, he even started to love her.

She was what he looked forward to when he got home. Whether he got to physically see her (which he did usually) or if it were just a phone call, even a text conversation. Y/n was the highlight of each day and he was hers.

Each week had gotten a little easier since he had started talking to her. He wanted to see her whether she was talkative or not, happy or not. Klaus was always there for her and she loved that, she learnt to love his love and she tried to love him but she wasn't sure that she. could allow herself to.

She was troubled, some would say. Y/n had been in a pattern of lows that would absorb her life more often then she anyone could handle.

It wasn't the first time she had spiralled. Collecting pills had become a habit years ago. She would save them up, had to be enough to actually kill her, she would always worry that she needed more to really cut it.

To be honest, Klaus hadn't even crossed her mind when she twisted the cap off of the once forgotten bottle of tasteless wine that had collected its own coat of dust.

Nothing passed her thoughts, not really. She just knew what she had to do, she had thought about it for too long. The consequences wouldn't be hers, she wouldn't be suffering. That was how she had grown to look at it.

It was only after she had swallowed an uncountable amount of pills that she considered Klaus's reaction. Surely it couldn't affect him that much though, they had only known each other a few months and he was a busy man. He would be able to distract himself after a couple days. He had a family that would support him. He didn't need her.

But he did.

Klaus had been calling her on and off for hours, the first couple times she didn't pick up he thought she might've bene asleep but the fear that something deeper was wrong started to sink in.

He was in his car and at her house after the seventh missed call and he knew something was wrong.

The door was broken in within seconds and he was making his way inside, calling for her.

"Y/n? Love?" He yelled, brows furrowed as he pushed through the rooms to find her room.

Everything stopped moving when he saw her.

On the floor, leant against the side of her bed unconscious, wine spilt and staining the carpet but that didn't concern him. It was the barely beating heart in her chest and the few pills that she must've been too out of it to take.

"No no no no no" He whispered, his legs going weak causing him to crawl toward her, pulling her to him with urgency. "Oh love, it's okay" He uttered, tears welling in his eyes and his throat closing. "It's okay, I got you"

His hands lifted her head but she couldn't hold it up, her eyes wouldn't open and she couldn't breathe. He couldn't get her to breathe.

He bit into his wrist, forcing it to her mouth and tried to have his blood drip down into her system.

"Come on, come on, come on" He begged, cupping her jaw and kissing her forehead.

"Yes" He uttered when she groaned and coughed, spluttering a burst of his blood out. She gagged and he held her up, rubbing the top of her back.

She went heavy in his hold but she was alive and that's all that mattered so he just kept holding onto her. Burying his face into her hair and whispering his prayers.

"It's okay sweetheart, it's alright I have you"

His eyes stung as he clung onto her. He could see her vision returning and cupped her face gently but firmly in his hands.

"Look at me, love." he murmured, hidden desperation behind each word as she senses came to and she glanced around confused. For a split second she wasn't sure what had happened before the memory flooded in and she let out an exhausted cry. She closed her eyes and let her body stay limp, head against his shoulder whilst she breathed shallowly.

Faintly she could hear Klaus's begging whispers, she could feel his soft touch and smell his rich scent. It brought a small sense of comfort but did not stop the silent tears from slipping down the cheeks that his hands held. The press of his lips lingered for a moment on her forehead before she felt his arm slip under her knees and lift her body.

He held her to him whilst his spare hand hurriedly grabbed whatever necessities he could spot. A blanket was tucked against her and to his arm so she was shielded from the wind when they sped outside and through the streets of New Orleans. Within a moments thought they were within the warmth of the abattoir and Klaus's cologne swallowed her. She murmured uneasily as he lay her in his bed and wrapped both the sheets and himself around her, leaving her no opportunity to ever get away from him. Not that she had any desire to pull away from his hold in that moment. Waking up from what was supposed to be her death was only the slightest bit manageable with Klaus at her side.

Silently she thought about apologising but she wasn't sure it would be truthful so she remained quiet as he stroke her hair and pepper the tiniest of kisses across her face as though they were sun-kissed freckles.

"You cannot leave me like this" He whispered, his voice cracking in a way that hurt her heart and made her eyes squeeze shut. She worried he would be angry or upset with her but when his arms held her tighter and his forehead pressed to hers, and he muttered to her "I promise I will do all that I can to make you feel whatever comfort you need so long as you never attempt to leave me again", she didn't feel pressure or weight.

She content in a strange way, she felt a slight feeling of peace overcome her mind for a moment as she put as much trust as she could in his hands.

Klaus would never break that trust, he would never take away her comfort, he would never leave her alone again.

[theskywithin]

Birth Chart Breakdown: Planets in The Ninth House

☉ Sun in the Ninth House You aren’t satisfied with simply existing, you need to understand why you’re here. There’s a fire in you that refuses to settle, that keeps pushing you toward something bigger, brighter, more meaningful. You want to find yourself in faraway places, in deep conversations, in the stretch of becoming more than what you were handed. You’re chasing purpose, not applause, and you’ll keep going until you find the truth that makes you feel alive.

☽ Moon in the Ninth House You’re searching for a belief you can rest inside. For a truth that doesn’t just sound good, but feels like home. Your soul needs more than logic, it needs faith, vision, wonder. You carry your questions like prayers, hoping the sky will answer. And even when you don’t know where you’re going, you keep walking, because something in you believes there’s a place where your spirit will finally exhale and say, “This. This is where I belong.”

☿ Mercury in the Ninth House You need to understand everything. Not in a shallow way, but deeply from the inside out. You question the world like it’s a puzzle you were born to solve. You chase philosophies, languages, systems of thought, not just to be right, but to feel anchored. You want your mind to roam, to leap into unfamiliar places and come back changed. For you, knowledge isn’t a destination, it’s a journey that turns questions into doors.

♀ Venus in the Ninth House You fall in love with what expands you. With cultures, ideas, and people that open something inside you you didn’t know was closed. You long for beauty that feels eternal, love that feels like a philosophy, not a performance. You want to be inspired, not just wanted. And wherever you go, you’re hoping to find something that mirrors your own ideals, something that feels like poetry and truth at once.

♂ Mars in the Ninth House You are driven by a need to go beyond. There’s a restless spark inside you that pushes you toward experiences that shake your limits. You’d rather leap than wait. You chase intensity in the form of expansion, not chaos, but challenge. You don’t want safety, you want aliveness. You want to feel the wind against your face and the thrill of standing at the edge of what you once believed was possible.

♃ Jupiter in the Ninth House You live with your arms open to the sky. There’s a wild optimism in your bones, a belief that life is meant to be more than survival. You seek experiences that lift you, teachings that grow you, paths that widen your world. You trust in something higher, even when you don’t know its name. And wherever you go, you carry the quiet knowing that the universe is not working against you, it’s calling you forward.

♄ Saturn in the Ninth House You want to believe, but you need to build your belief from stone. You don’t trust blindly, you test every truth until it earns your loyalty. Your path to meaning is not fast or easy, but it’s real. You may carry doubt like a shadow, but that doubt carves you into someone solid. When you do find what you believe in, you hold it like a vow. Not loud, not flashy, but lifelong.

♅ Uranus in the Ninth House You were never meant to walk anyone else’s path. You don’t just question the rules, you rewire them. You search for truth in the cracks of tradition, in the sparks of rebellion, in the freedom to think and live for yourself. You don’t want a map. You want the thrill of making your own way. And if your beliefs shake others... GOOD. That means you’re still alive.

♆ Neptune in the Ninth House You’re not looking for answers, you’re looking for wonder. For the feeling of dissolving into something divine, something infinite. You want to believe in more than what you can touch. You long for dreams that stretch beyond this world, for connections that feel cosmic. Sometimes you drift, sometimes you get lost, but even in the fog, you trust that your soul knows the way.

♇ Pluto in the Ninth House You don’t just want purpose, you want to be transformed by it. You are drawn to truths that shatter, to teachings that undo what you thought you knew. You crave meaning that burns through your bones and leaves you reborn. You are not afraid of the darkness that comes with seeking, you know that real understanding often requires letting go of who you were. And you’re willing to go that deep.

🗺️ Your birth chart, decoded in my book- The Sky Within

[authorhjk1]

1813

(Jisoo X Male Reader) word count: 3279

September 15th, 1813 – Weißenfels

We danced through the night, swept away by the music and the rhythm of our movements. The waltz was followed by a lively quadrille, and though I had never paid much attention to such occasions before, tonight was different. Jisoo moved with grace, her laughter light and warm as she let herself be carried by the music. The first dance passed too quickly, and before I could ask for another, she had already turned towards me with a playful glint in her eye.

“Another?”

She asked, breathless but eager.

The music swelled again as another waltz began, its melody weaving through the grand hall like threads of silk. I offered my hand once more, unable to deny her, or myself, the pleasure of continuing. The room was alive with movement. Couples twirling in perfect harmony, their laughter mingling with the strains of violins and cellos. I held Jisoo close, her hand resting lightly on my shoulder while mine rested at her waist. Together, we moved across the floor, our steps synchronized as though we had danced together countless times before. We spun and stepped through one dance after another, the world beyond the ballroom melting into insignificance. Between each dance, we exchanged words, teasing, and knowing glances.

Her dark eyes sparkled under the candlelight, reflecting both amusement and curiosity as the music picked up the pace and we followed its rhythm.

"You were not exaggerating when you said you ride well."

She remarked softly, her voice carrying just enough volume to be heard over the music.

"Your dancing is just as impressive, Leutnant"

“I believe I said as much.”

I countered with a smirk, though I felt my breath grow shorter.

She took note of it, tilting her head with amusement.

“Is the mighty cavalry officer losing his stamina?”

I scoffed in mock offense.

“I have fought in battles far more exhausting than this.”

“Yet, you are struggling to keep up with one woman?”

She bit her lip to suppress a giggle.

“I am merely pacing myself.”

I replied, feigning nonchalance.

“I believe you wholeheartedly, Leutnant.”

Her laughter made me laugh as well. It seemed to give me new energy to keep up with hers.

For several moments, we continued to glide across the floor without speaking, lost in each other's company. The rhythm of the music seemed to pulse between us, guiding our movements with effortless grace. Around us, the world dissolved into a blur of colors and sounds, leaving only the two of us beneath the golden glow of the chandeliers.

"You seem so certain of everything."

She suddenly said after a while, her tone playful yet tinged with genuine interest. She looked cute with her eyebrows slightly furrowed. Almost as if she thought about this for a long time and now had to ask me something, overwhelmed by her own curiosity.

"Is there nothing that makes you doubt yourself?"

I hesitated, caught off guard by the question. It wasn't one I expected from someone who, until recently, had been little more than a fleeting acquaintance. Yet, her sincerity made it impossible to dismiss or evade.

"There are many things."

I admitted finally.

"War teaches you uncertainty above all else. But here... with you..."

My voice trailed off, unsure how much to reveal.

"With me?"

She prompted gently, her gaze steady and encouraging.

I took a deep breath, choosing my words carefully.

"With you, I find myself wanting to believe in possibilities I might otherwise ignore. In peace, perhaps even happiness."

Her smile softened, becoming something deeper and more meaningful.

"And do you think those things exist for people like us?"

Before I could respond, the music shifted subtly, signaling the transition into a faster tempo. Our steps quickened accordingly, our bodies moving closer as we navigated the intricate patterns of the dance. For a time, no further words passed between us, only the shared understanding conveyed through glances and gestures.

As the minutes stretched on, the energy in the room grew palpable. Couples spun faster, their laughter rising above the music. Even Jisoo's movements became bolder, her confidence growing with every step. Watching her face light up with joy filled me with a sense of pride and awe. She carried herself with a natural elegance that belied her modest origins, drawing admiring glances from everyone around us.

"Do you enjoy this?"

I asked, unable to suppress a grin as she executed a particularly daring turn.

"I love it."

She replied, her voice breathless but full of enthusiasm.

"It feels… freeing, somehow. Like nothing else matters except this moment."

Her honesty struck a chord within me, resonating deeply with my own feelings. How often had I sought refuge in the saddle of a horse, finding solace in the rhythmic gallop beneath open skies? Here, in Jisoo's arms, I discovered a similar escape, one that promised not merely freedom but connection.

The music slowed once more, allowing us to catch our breath. As we resumed our slower pace, I felt the weight of her hand against my shoulder, the warmth of her presence grounding me.

"Tell me more about Joseon."

I urged, eager to learn more about the land she called home. As our connection kept growing, I couldn’t suppress the need to find out more about her.

"What is it like there?"

Her eyes lit up at the mention of her homeland, her smile widening as she spoke.

"It is beautiful."

She began, her voice rich with nostalgia.

"The mountains rise high, covered in pine trees that whisper secrets to the wind. And the rivers… they flow so calmly, reflecting the sky above like mirrors. People there live simple lives, centered around family and tradition. My father owns a small restaurant in Seoul, where he serves dishes passed down through generations. He believes food brings people together, and I think he's right."

Listening to her description, I found myself imagining the scenes she painted. A bustling city surrounded by verdant hills, its streets filled with vibrant colors and scents.

"It sounds wonderful."

I murmured sincerely.

"One day, I would love to visit."

"Then you must."

She said firmly, her gaze meeting mine.

"When the war ends, come to Joseon. Let me show you everything."

Her invitation warmed my heart, filling me with hope despite the uncertainties ahead. Before I could reply, however, the music ended abruptly, bringing our dance to a halt. Applause erupted throughout the hall, punctuated by cheers and laughter. Reluctantly, we parted, bowing to each other as custom dictated.

But as we straightened, I noticed a young man approaching us, his posture stiff and formal. His uniform marked him as a fellow officer, though I didn't recognize his rank or regiment. He bowed deeply before Jisoo, addressing her with exaggerated politeness.

"Fräulein."

He began, his voice smooth but lacking warmth.

"Would you honor me with the next dance?"

Jisoo glanced at me briefly, her expression apologetic.

"I fear I cannot."

She replied graciously.

"I am feeling a bit tired after such a long evening. Perhaps another time."

The man frowned slightly, clearly disappointed, but nodded nonetheless.

"Of course, Fräulein. My apologies for troubling you."

Once he had departed, I couldn't resist teasing her.

"Tired already? Are you sure you're not simply avoiding admirers?"

She shot me a playful glare, her lips curving into a mischievous smile.

"If I recall correctly, it was you who boasted about your stamina earlier tonight. Perhaps I'm simply testing whether you can keep up."

"Oh, is that what this is?"

I countered, feigning indignation.

"Well, allow me to prove you wrong. Shall we continue?"

She laughed, shaking her head.

"Not yet. Let us take a moment to rest first. Besides, I suspect Herr Lindemann might worry if we spend too much time away from him."

Relenting, I offered her my arm, leading her toward the refreshment tables where her relatives were standing nearby. We paused there, Jisoo sipping on a glass of wine and me drinking cognac, while watching the other couples twirl about the room. When Frau Lindemann showed interest in Jisoo’s evening so far, I tried not to listen. I caught my breath while looking around the hall. Now that I wasn’t gliding over the dance floor with her, everything suddenly seemed less vibrant. Less beautiful. The uniforms of the other soldiers, earlier shining and clean, now appeared stiff and confining, their polished buttons glaring under the chandeliers like badges of obligation rather than honor. The laughter of the guests no longer sounded joyful but forced, a brittle veneer masking the uncertainty of our times. Even the music, once enchanting, had taken on an edge, a reminder of how fleeting such moments could be.

I sipped my cognac slowly, letting its warmth settle in my chest as I scanned the room. It was all too easy to forget, here amidst the gilded splendor of Weißenfels, that just beyond these walls lay a world at war. A world where men fought and died for causes they barely understood, their lives reduced to mere statistics in reports sent back to distant capitals. And yet, the reality pressed upon me with relentless clarity: this fragile peace we shared tonight could shatter in an instant. One wrong move, one stray bullet, and it would all come crashing down.

My gaze drifted toward the windows, their panes reflecting the flickering candlelight. Outside, the night stretched vast and unknowable, a stark contrast to the carefully curated elegance inside. Somewhere out there, French patrols roamed the countryside, their presence a constant threat. Every step forward felt like walking on thin ice, knowing full well that one misstep could send you plunging into icy waters from which there might be no return.

Frau Lindemann’s voice broke through my thoughts, pulling me reluctantly back to the present. She was asking Jisoo about her family in Joseon, her tone polite but tinged with curiosity. Jisoo responded graciously, painting vivid pictures of her homeland with words alone. Her descriptions were rich and evocative, speaking of rolling hills blanketed in cherry blossoms, bustling markets alive with color and sound, and quiet evenings spent beneath starlit skies. Listening to her, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of longing for a life simpler, freer, unburdened by the weight of duty and conflict.

But even as she spoke, I found myself wondering how long such dreams could endure. War had a way of consuming everything in its path, leaving little untouched. Could love survive when faced with the harsh realities of battle? Could two people, bound together by nothing more than stolen moments and whispered promises, truly weather the storm that loomed ahead?

The thought unsettled me, stirring unease deep within my chest. I glanced down at my glass, watching the amber liquid swirl lazily against the crystal. How ironic, I mused bitterly, that I should find myself questioning the permanence of anything while standing in the midst of such opulence. These grand halls, these elaborate costumes—they were all temporary, transient things, meant to distract us from the truth of our existence. Yet here I stood, clinging to them as though they offered some measure of safety, some guarantee of continuity.

Jisoo noticed my distraction and shot me a concerned look.

"Is everything alright?"

She murmured softly, leaning closer so only I could hear.

"I’m fine."

I replied quickly, forcing a smile. But the lie tasted bitter on my tongue. Fine? No, I wasn’t fine. Not when every heartbeat reminded me of how precarious our situation truly was. Not when the knowledge that tomorrow might never come hung heavy over my shoulders.

She didn’t press further, instead turning her attention back to Frau Lindemann. But her hand brushed mine briefly, a subtle gesture meant to reassure. And for a moment, it worked. That single touch anchored me, grounding me in the present. If nothing else, I told myself, I could hold onto this fleeting connection, this shared understanding that transcended language and culture.

As the conversation wound down, I excused myself momentarily, stepping away from the group to clear my head. The air near the refreshment tables felt stifling, thick with the mingling scents of perfume and wine. Moving toward one of the large windows, I pushed open the heavy velvet drapes and stepped onto the balcony overlooking the garden. Cool night air greeted me, carrying with it the faint scent of damp earth and blooming flowers. For the first time since arriving at the ball, I felt something resembling calm.

Still, the image of the battlefield lingered stubbornly in my mind. The smoke-filled air, the deafening roar of cannon fire, the cries of wounded men echoing across the fields. Each memory served as a grim reminder of the stakes involved. What right did I have to indulge in moments of happiness when others suffered unimaginable horrors? Wasn’t it selfish, even reckless, to allow myself to care so deeply for someone who might soon become another casualty of war?

And yet, despite these doubts, I couldn’t bring myself to regret meeting Jisoo. If anything, her presence gave meaning to what might otherwise have been a meaningless existence. In her, I saw hope, not blind optimism, but a quiet belief in the possibility of better days. She reminded me that even amidst chaos, beauty could still exist. That love, though fragile, could also be resilient.

Footsteps behind me announced her arrival before she spoke.

"You disappeared rather suddenly."

She said lightly, joining me on the balcony. Her breath misted in the cool air as she wrapped her arms around herself for warmth.

"I needed a moment."

I admitted, offering her my coat. She accepted it gratefully, pulling it tightly around her slender frame.

"It’s strange."

I continued after a pause.

"Being here with you makes me realize how much of my life feels… forced. Like I’m playing a part written for someone else."

Her brow furrowed slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"Everything."

I gestured vaguely toward the hall behind us. "The uniform, the titles, the expectations. It’s all so rigid, so calculated. There’s no room for spontaneity, no space to simply be. But with you…"

My voice trailed off, unsure how to articulate the sentiment fully.

"With me, you feel free."

She finished softly, her dark eyes searching mine.

I nodded, struck by the accuracy of her words.

"Yes. With you, I feel free."

She smiled then, a small, wistful smile that spoke volumes.

"Perhaps that’s because freedom isn’t something we find outside ourselves. It’s something we create, however briefly, with those we choose to share it with."

Her wisdom humbled me, reminding me once again why she mattered so much. Despite not knowing her well, I felt this connection between us. Something which you don’t need words for.

Reaching out, I took her hand in mine, marveling at how perfectly it fit. This dark cloud of worry which suddenly overcame me was now slowly fading away again. I don’t know if one could call it love after meeting only a handful of times. But Jisoo does feel like the sun in my otherwise rain clouded life.

I felt Jisoo’s gaze linger on me for a moment before she turned away, seemingly shy yet unable to suppress a small smile.

"Do you think you can keep up if we return to the dance floor?”

She teased, slowly slipping my coat off her shoulders again. I could see in her eyes that she hated to see me in this state. The warm smile she gave me lifted my mood almost instantly.

"I believe I can manage."

I said with mock seriousness.

"But perhaps you should worry about your own stamina instead."

Her laugh was bright and infectious and it seemed to warm the cold night air. In that moment I didn’t care what might happen tomorrow. All that mattered was the woman standing beside me.

After a brief respite, we stepped back onto the floor for another dance. This time, the music was slower, more intimate. Our movements became less formal, our steps synchronized as though we had practiced them countless times before. With every turn, every glance, I felt the walls between us crumbling further, leaving only honesty and vulnerability.

As the final notes of the dance faded into silence, applause rippled through the hall. We parted, bowing to each other, but not intending to leave each other’s side. As we straightened, I saw the unspoken invitation in her eyes. An openness that called to me like a beacon.

Without another word, I offered her my arm.

"Would you care for some fresh air?"

She accepted with a gentle nod, and together we slipped out of the crowded hall, stepping into the cool night air. The moon hung low in the sky, its silver light bathing the cobblestone streets in a tranquil glow. A faint breeze carried the scent of autumn leaves, mingling with the distant aroma of pine from the nearby forest.

We walked silently for a while, our steps synchronized as though even here, away from the music, we were still dancing. The weight of the evening settled comfortably between us, neither too heavy nor too light. Finally, she spoke, her voice soft but steady.

“I enjoy this.”

She admitted softly, looking up at the stars.

“Being here. With you.”

I took a slow breath, steadying the unfamiliar warmth in my chest.

“And I with you.”

She turned to face me then, her expression softer than before.

“What do you think your father’s land is like in the spring?”

I smiled at the sudden question.

“Green. Open fields stretching for miles, horses running free in the pastures. I think you would like it.”

She reached out, hesitating before placing her hand lightly over mine.

“Then one day, take me there.”

I took a step closer, close enough to hear her breath hitch.

“Jisoo.”

I murmured, her name unfamiliar yet effortless on my tongue.

She did not pull away. Instead, she tilted her head ever so slightly, her lips parted as if to speak, but no words came.

And then, without thinking, I closed the space between us.

Our lips met in a slow, hesitant kiss, filled with all the words we had not spoken. It only lasted seconds, but it felt like an eternity.

When we finally parted, she lingered close, her eyes searching mine.

“Leutnant.”

She whispered, a small smile on her lips.

I smiled back.

“Karl.”

I corrected gently.

She laughed softly.

“Karl.”

Her eyes focused on my lips for a moment, before she looked back up at me.

"Kiss me again."

This time, there was no hesitation, no doubt. Our lips met once more, softer than before, yet infused with the promise of something greater. A bond forged not just in fleeting moments, but in the shared struggles and triumphs of life itself.

As we stood there beneath the starlit sky, surrounded by the quiet beauty of Weißenfels, I knew one thing for certain: whatever the future held, I would face it with her by my side.

When we finally broke apart, Jisoo rested her head lightly on my shoulder.

For a long moment, we simply stayed there, lost in the magic of the night. The world seemed impossibly vast yet infinitely small, as though everything outside this moment faded into insignificance. And as the first hints of dawn began to paint the horizon, I realized with absolute clarity that Jisoo was not just a passing presence in my life. She was the reason I wanted to keep fighting, the light that guided me through the darkness. Even if tomorrow brought uncertainty, tonight belonged to us. And that, I decided, was enough.

[honeytonedhottie]

how to protect urself and stop breaking ur own heart⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍡

in this world its crucial to learn urself wholly so that u can protect urself in the best way possible. ofc u won't be able to protect urself from everything because some situations are opportunities to grow which is what life is all about. but lets talk about protecting urself and how to NOT break ur own heart…💬🎀

LEAVE THE PAST WHERE IT IS ;

first thing i wanna touch on is STOP checking on ppl that no longer have space in ur life. its just so stagnant and useless like why do u care? if u have enough time to check on someone from YEARSS ago (especially if this someone did u wrong) then ur wasting time that u won't get back. go spend ur time on something useful like affirming.

i feel like this also encompasses not trying to change people. respect a person for who they are -> not what u hope they will become. dont be friends or get into a relationship with someone for potential because they won't grow and evolve unless they WANT to. if ur thinking "oh just give them time, they have potential" or "they'll change, they won't keep hurting and disregarding my feelings" then ur just wasting ur time.

ALSO it doesnt matter if ur excuse is that you've known each other for a long time, ur allowed to leave relationships, situationships, friendships that no longer serve you its YOUR life. ur 100% allowed.

LEARN URSELF ;

by becoming aware of what u value, what triggers you, ur boundaries etc you can stay true to that and protect urself better. something that u can do to help you to learn yourself + how to protect urself is

make a list of things that u LIKE or are OKAY with. things that make u feel good. then make a list of things that make u feel bad and things that u don’t like…💬🎀

stay true to that list. when u understand urself and ur triggers u can protect urself better. live privately because what ppl don’t know they can’t ruin. not everyone has to know ur business, which leads me to my next point.

WHAT PEOPLE DONT KNOW, THEY CANT RUIN ;

dont put ur business out there for everyone ALL the time. privacy is power and the more private u are the less people will have to try and sabotage u because not everyone wants the best for you. when u tell everyone everything that makes you vulnerable and vulnerability can be good when building meaningful relationships and connections, you should NOT be vulnerable with every single person.

USE UR INTUITION ;

what u can't immediately sense YOUR BODY CAN. thats why we have things like gut feelings and hunches that often times are correct. ur intuition is like, everything that u know or have experienced subconsciously that u might not be able to recollect quickly, but ur body can. thats why its there.

[fairyminnie444]

✨ the ultimate post u need to LET GO ✨

ok so what we KNOW and has already entered our heads:

i want it so I got it

circumstances DOES NOT matter

there’s no time to wait, it’s ALREADY done

“feeling is the secret” Neville Goddard

So why do we keep scrolling through tumblr, reddit, twitter to read more posts thinking that we will always find something more?

Because we are seeking reassurance, we might be subconsciously looking for validation or “proof” that your manifestation techniques are working or that you’re on the right path.

Each new post feels like it might hold the missing piece of the puzzle, even though you already have everything you need within you.

But the more you consume, the more your mind becomes overwhelmed, making it harder to trust your own intuition. Instead of clarity, constant scrolling can increase doubts and make you second-guess what you already know.

LETS BREAK THE CYCLE 🔁 ❎

✨ Set a Limit ✨

Give yourself a specific time frame for scrolling (e.g., 15 minutes). Once the time is up, redirect your focus to practices like visualization or affirmations or anything that make you FEEL your desire.

✨ Create Instead of Consume ✨

Shift your energy from seeking external input to producing something meaningful:

Write about what you already know (like I’m doing rn), If you don't want to post it just save it in your notes, draw it, make your vision board in Canva, etc.

LET IT GO, ITS DONE ✅

✨ Understand What “Letting Go” Means ✨

It doesn’t mean giving up on the desire, but rather stopping fighting the idea that it hasn’t arrived yet.

It’s trusting that the desire is already yours in 4D and that it will manifest in 3D, DEFINITELY. The world is a MIRROR of you inside.

✨ Strengthen Your Certainty ✨

Repeat to yourself:

“My desire is already mine, it is done.”

“I trust completely in the universe and my power.”

This trust helps you let go of control and stop looking for external evidence.

✨ Practice the Feeling of Already Having ✨

Close your eyes and imagine life as if the desire were already a reality.

Feel the joy, relief, and ease of already living it.

When you feel that you already have it, there is no need to “hold on” to the desire.

✨ Redirect Your Focus ✨

Instead of thinking about how or when, focus on living your life lightly.

Engage in hobbies, relax, enjoy the present, and trust that everything is moving in your favor.

✨ Observe Your Thoughts Without Attachment ✨

When thoughts like “what if it doesn’t happen?” arise, acknowledge them without holding on to them:

Say to yourself: “I see that thought, but I know it’s not true.”

✨ Trust the Intelligence of the Universe ✨

Remember: you don’t need to know how things will happen. The universe (or your subconscious mind) is already orchestrating everything to deliver you the best possible way.

Affirm: “Everything is always working out perfectly for me.”

✨ Gratitude in Advance ✨

Be grateful as if you already have the desire. Gratitude is a powerful way to let go:

“I’m so grateful that this is already mine. Thank you, universe.”

Letting go is a conscious choice to trust the process, because you already know it is yours. It is not about “forgetting” about the desire, but about stopping worrying about it. Live your life as if everything is already resolved, and the universe will mirror this certainty in your 3D.

[level2janitor]

Introduction to the OSR

what's an OSR? it's a game that's kinda like old-school D&D. or is old-school D&D. or is compatible with old-school D&D. an OSR game generally has some or all of the following principles:

low character power with highly lethal combat. in old-school D&D a 1st-level fighter has d8 hit points and a longsword does d8 damage, and you die at 0HP. this is not to ensure characters die all the time but to emphasize the next bullet point:

emphasis on creative problem solving. most situations cannot be solved by straightforward use of your abilities (such as charging into every situation with swords drawn, if a fighter), so the game tests lateral, outside-the-box thinking.

emphasis on diegetic progression. spells are found, not obtained automatically on level-up. you get XP by finding gold more than killing monsters. most of your cool abilities come from magic items. making alliances & hiring followers is encouraged.

focus on managing inventory, resources, risk, and time. the players are constantly faced with meaningful decisions; this is the heart of the game.

very sandbox-oriented. the focus on creative problem solving means the game must be accommodating to players taking a course of action the GM didn't plan for. use lots of random tables to generate emergent story. some elements of new simulationism.

high tactical transparency, i.e., the optimal course of action is rarely system-specific, and ideally very possible for a new player to intuit.

usually semi-compatible with old D&D, but not always. usually rules-lite, but not always.

what does the OSR mostly NOT do?

focus on character builds. these change the focus too much to be on the rules than the fiction, can create situations where stuff everyone should be able to do is an ability locked to one class, and impede tactical transparency.

resolve everything with a die roll. combat uses dice to be scary, unpredictable and most importantly not your default course of action. everything else should bring up dice rarely - dice are your plan B when your plan A fails. the best plans need no dice.

use linear storytelling or put players into a writer/GM role. linear storytelling gets in the way of the decision-making so core to the playstyle; letting players write details into the setting is mutually exclusive with them discovering it.

rules for everything. 400 pages of crunch is worse at simulating a believable world than the GM and players' shared understanding. OSR games rely constantly on GM ruling.

mostly still applies to all the above. making your system a "pure" OSR game comes second to doing what's best for your game.

System recommendations

old D&D or a retroclone

old-school D&D - or old school essentials or basic fantasy or swords & wizardry, which are old D&D's mechanics repackaged with quality-of-life tweaks (and the upside of not giving WOTC your money) - are usually the go-to when recommending someone's first OSR game. they're actually not my first pick, though!

PROS:

very complete, with more robust rules than a lot of the lighter games on this list.

100% compatibility: most OSR adventures are statted for old school essentials. converting them to other OSR systems is usually simple, but not 1-for-1.

easier to find games for. anyone interested in the OSR space knows what old school essentials is.

CONS:

jank. these games largely still have weird saves, level limits for non-humans, some still have descending AC, etc etc. it's not that bad but it is there

i hate thief skills. lots of essential dungeoneering actions are locked to the thief class as abilities, with abysmally low success chances. this is stuff i prefer being handled without a roll. thieves in this system suck and make everyone else worse at dungeon crawling by existing.

there's just lots of really cool shit in other systems i'm about to go into that you just don't get here

Knave 1e and its various hacks

this is a 7-page super-lightweight system that boils everything down to just the essentials.

rolling a character takes like 5 minutes. roll stats, roll gear, roll traits, go. done. it's great.

characters are defined entirely by stats and gear, no classes. wanna be a fighter, have high strength and carry a big sword and armor. wanna be a wizard, have high intelligence and fill your inventory with spells. item slots are elegant and pretty limited.

initiative is instant: roll d6. 1-3, monsters go first. 4-6, PCs go first. swingy, but god it is so smooth and shaves like the most boring 5 minutes off of every combat

monsters are so very elegant. old D&D gives monsters a "hit dice" rating to determine their HP, e.g. a 3HD monster rolls 3d8 for hit points. knave takes this number (HD) and uses it for attack rolls and saves (aside from exceptionally bad/good saves), so a knave statblock looks something like this.

spells are all one or two sentences long & extremely easy to remember.

7 pages is so light. i have the system basically memorized.

DOWNSIDES: there's no dungeon crawling rules (standard for meatier OSR games & something i consider essential) and no real bestiary, though the second point isn't a huge deal cause they're so easy to make. it also kinda assumes you already know how to run OSR games, so there's very little real advice or guidance.

KNAVE HACKS

knave 1e is in creative commons & comes with an editable word doc for you to publish with modifications, so there's a ton of variants (there was a spreadsheet of them somewhere, but i can't find it).

Grave is a favorite - i'm two years into a grave campaign and it's fantastic. it's a dark-souls-y version of knave with some really elegant innovations.

you have a set number of deaths before you for-reals die, as every character plays an undead as is dark souls tradition. makes it good for OSR beginners! being able to tell when you're close to your final death is really good - it lets you emotionally prepare for losing your character & raises the stakes more the more you die. (though honestly you should probably cut the number of extra deaths in half, it's super generous)

XP and gold are combined into one resource, souls. legendary creatures drop big souls you can make into magic items. this has ended up being the coolest thing in my current campaign. my players love finding powerful souls to make into magic items it's so fun

uses preset packages of stats/gear instead of knave's rolled ones, filling the role of more traditional character classes. has the wonderful side effect of not making you get stuck with low stats cause you rolled bad one time.

you have stamina equal to your empty item slots. you spend stamina on spells if you're a caster, or free maneuvers (on top of your attack at no action cost) if you're not. it's super elegant.

there's 3 classes of spells: wizardry for intelligence, holy magic for wisdom, and witch stuff for charisma. nice and intuitive.

there's a page of 50 magic items each a couple sentences long. this PDF is worth it just for the magic items.

DOWNSIDE: see the downsides for knave 1e. all still apply.

i enjoyed grave so much i made a variant of it with the dark souls bits removed (and some dungeon crawl rules added!) to use for my standard fantasy campaigns.

Knave 2e

sadly knave 2e is not purchasable yet (i backed it on kickstarter so i have access, though). but when it comes out i highly recommend it.

much larger and denser than knave 1e. it finally has dungeon crawling rules, it has GM and player guidance, everything is refined and the layout is so so nice and readable.

combat is a bit more interesting than 1e. you can break your weapon against an enemy to deal max damage. you get a free maneuver on high attack rolls.

there's rules for stuff like alchemy, warfare, building a base. it all kicks ass.

there are so many goddamn tables. i rifle through it anytime i need inspiration.

DOWNSIDES: some of the new rules are a little untested & wonky. introducing randomness into how often your rations spoil or your lights go out can cause issues.

Mausritter

you play tiny little mice! in a world full of big dangerous things that want to eat mice. cat = dragon. you get it. what more could you want

the mouse thing is just super intuitive. you get the dynamic between you and the big scary lethal world. fantastic OSR game to introduce kids

nice and robust ruleset; nothing feels missing

tons of super nice GM stuff! faction rules, tools for rolling up hexcrawls and dungeons, plenty of tables

super clean readable layout. font isn't too small to avoid being intimidating. guidance is really nice and clear.

combat is autohit. super fast & lethal.

100% free

look mausritter is just. good. i wanna run it so bad someday

Worlds Without Number

sort of a middle ground between OSR stuff and 5e. paid version here free version here

lots of classes, at least in the paid version. the free version comes with just the warrior, expert and mage. there's feats and more of a focus on builds than most OSR games. if you like more mechanical build variety than a typical OSR game, this is a great game for you!

extremely good multiclassing. y'know how in most games if you just mash together two classes you think are cool you'll end up with a total mess? not here! every combo is viable and works fine! easily the best multiclassing of any game i've touched

an absurd amount of GM stuff and tables. easily more than any of the other stuff i've praised for also having them. but personally i haven't dug into them as much, so i can't really comment on them

skills the way modern D&D has them. you roll dice and try to beat a target number. i don't tend to like rolled skills, but most people do, so if that's your thing WWN has them

DOWNSIDES

the layout is terrible. everything is a huge wall of text with very little use of bold text or bullet points to draw attention to the important bits. the table of contents has like 15 things in it for a 400-page book! i couldn't find any of the paid-version-exclusive classes for like a month after i bought it! looking up rules is a nightmare.

the way the default setting handles "evil races" is like an exaggerated parody of all the problematic aspects of how D&D handles it. like, it wants so bad for you to have an excuse to genocide sentient free-willed people. but at least the default setting is easy to chuck in the trash

Dungeon Crawl Classics

the goal of this system is to take all of the crazy gonzo moments people remember playing old-school D&D in their childhood and turn all of that up to 11 while cutting the stuff that doesn't add to that. i think a lot of its innovations have ended up kind of standard in newer OSR stuff (like fighters getting maneuvers with their attacks), but it still has more to offer.

the funnel: you start the game with four randomly rolled dipshit peasants that you then throw into a meatgrinder to get horribly killed. you pick one of the survivors to be your 1st-level character.

maneuvers: fighters roll an extra die with each attack that gets bigger as you level. if it's a 3 or higher, you get to do a cool thing on top of your attack. pretty standard for OSR games, but this game popularized it!

crit tables: fighters also get more crits and nastier crits as they level. every crit, you roll on the crit table. maybe you chop off a dude's arm. maybe you just knock them over. maybe you shatter their shield. it's very cool

spell tables: i don't really like roll-to-cast mechanics, generally. but DCC goes so all-in on roll-to-cast that it still looks fun as hell to watch. you cast a fireball and maybe it goes how you want. or maybe you explode, or you nuke everything in a half-mile radius, or from now on you permanently ignite flammable materials you touch, or whatever. casters just have to put up with turning into a weird mutated mess across a campaign

there's no dungeon crawl rules, no encumbrance - this game is all about the big over-the-top wacky shit, and is not really interested in the more down-to-earth number crunching. it's more in the you-die-hilariously-all-the-time area of OSR than the you-avoid-death-through-clever-play area. not really my thing but the system knows exactly what it wants to be and i respect it

iron halberd

this one is mine! as the author i'm not qualified to tell you what isn't good about my system, so just assume it's worse than i make it sound, but here's a bunch of the selling points

semi-random character creation where you flip back and forth between rolling dice and getting your own input. roll stats, pick ancestry. pick starting gear kit, roll different dice based on which kit you picked. etc etc. stats are random but all equally viable (no rolling incredibly low or high stats). every time i run this game the character creation is a hit. seriously go roll up a character it'll sell you on the whole thing

you start out a lot stronger than a standard OSR character but grow way more slowly. i don't like 4th-level characters being 4 times as strong as 1st-level ones; HP never gets that high. emphasis is more on diegetic progression instead.

way too many subsystems for alchemy, crafting, strongholds, warfare, renown, rituals, likes 9 pages of magic items, a whole subsystem for becoming a cleric mid-campaign. i couldn't help myself i love this shit

in my current campaign we had a player permanently sacrifice some max HP to become a necromancer after deliberating on whether that's a good idea for like thirty seconds, which instantly made me think my necromancy system is a success

also free

Adventure recommendations

(in rough order of size)

Moonhill Garden (by Emiel Boven): look at this. look at it! this is like the best template for a little dungeon in an OSR game. all of the little factions are tied together. this would be a great oneshot to introduce people to an OSR system with.

A gathering of blades (by Ben Milton): a system-neutral, one-page sandbox. i ran this for an iron halberd game and it went super well. lasted like 7 sessions. highly recommend.

The Waking of Willowby Hall (by Ben Milton): a single dungeon with a million things going on. it's super chaotic with half a dozen different factions crashing into each other and a big angry goose. highly recommend, especially for kids

The Black Wyrm of Brandonsford (by Chance Dudinack): small sandbox with a fun fairytale vibe and a very fleshed-out little town. and a big nasty dragon.

Evils of Illmire (by Zack Wolf): this is a very dense, entire campaign's worth of hexcrawl in a very compact package for like $5. it doesn't do anything particularly new, but the value-for-money is absurd and it's a really good template for how to do a sandbox if you're used to 5e adventures

Ask me anything!

if anything here is unclear or intrigues you, send me asks! i love helping people get into OSR games. i'll link frequently asked questions here if i get any.

[soukokuluvs]

The red, white, and blue flames — an analysis of Endo and Takiishi's relationship

I think showing Endo with blue flames is such an interesting decision, since it gives us hints about the end of the Noroshi arc and what Takiishi himself thinks of Endo (using Endo's own analogies, of course), since the real flame above 2700°F is the blue one.

We have different flame color shades and that depends on the material, of course, but they indicate the temperature. The red flame, which represents Takiishi, is a cooler flame compared to the others (it says a lot about his personality) and represents incomplete combustion.

Then we have the white flame and I really want to believe that this will be Ume's flame color not only cause it's hotter than the red one (its temperature varies and can reach around 2600°F), but also cause of the symbolism behind the color white itself.

Finally, we have the blue flame, considered the hottest flame, with a temperature around 2700°F (and it can reach even higher). I really like the "symbolism" it could represent here, since it indicates complete combustion, and we know Endo "burned" very fast when he was a child.

All this explanation about the flames and the decision of Endo’s flame color (blue) becomes much more interesting cause Endo spends a good part of chapter 153 bothered by Ume's "temperature" and how it could truly change Takiishi.

Of course, Ume did manage to change some of Takiishi's views, but what Endo couldn't understand is that he HAS ALWAYS been in Takiishi’s world and that YES, his own flames are capable of changing Takiishi!

(if that hasn't happened already, since even with their complicated relationship we have several moments of Takiishi watching Endo, following him in the activities proposed, communicating with him, and knowing Endo's name) (kinda biased but I'm not a one-sided Endochika truther)

All of this I mentioned here can be noticed if you light a lighter and, well, Takiishi lights one too, so it's possible to observe the red, white, and blue flames here.

An interesting fact is that to reach the white flame, you need to go through the red one and that says a lot about Ume too.

A silly (and sad) little fact is that the white flame is between the red and blue flames, which adds a bit more depth to Endo not seeing himself as being on the same level as Ume, since the white flame seems closer to the red one.

The truth is, even though red and blue flames are far apart on the spectrum, they're also extremely similar. I'm not getting into the red/blue character trope right now cause that's a whole other topic. But for those who know… putting Endochika in those colors is suuuper meaningful and important for their relationship. Red wouldn't always like the calmness that blue can bring, but red also means affection, warmth, comfort and I really love that.

A few points now:

1 – I'm really simplifying the combustion process here cause there are other things involved in fire colors, but in general, that's it

2 – The white flame can also have a bluish tone, and that could be really interesting to see (how Takiishi sees the world)

3 – I'm really not talking about power here, since Takiishi is obviously our strongest fighter asides Ume, but about the impact one person has on another's life (and, of course, Endochika biased BUT with scientific information) (geez I'm acting like Endo)

4 - When I first read WDK, I associated Endo with water/rain cause it can be appreciated when it's calm but deeply feared when it's too much, and also because of how Takiishi starts seeing the "good" side of the rain

5 - I know the cover of volume 11 already gave us hints about Endo's blue flames (and the manga already presents the concept of Endo and fire), but the anime made it way more explicit

6 - I'm just a physics student who really likes color spectrums, so sorry in advance for my dear chemists (I'm just here being silly associating two things I really like hehe)

7 - And, in fact, loving him was red

[elkian]

In Stars And Time (and its predecessor Start Again to a degree) did something really impressive in a video game: making a non-combatant child character not only likeable, but critical to the fabric of the story. Notably, the Kid is not a primary story character. They represent the common folk of the endangered fantasy land; someone whose home and family was taken by the Big Bad, leaving them stranded.

In the core party, we have the Housemaiden, blessed, immune to the worst status effect, bearing a unique elemental type, etc. It's actually very amusing that she is blatantly The Main Character of this story, because she isn't the POV character.

With her we have the Fighter, a good-hearted tank who worked as a Defender in the homeland of the first three; the Researcher, a foreigner traveling the land, who's book-smart and has a wide array of spells, the wizard type.

And then we have the POV character, Siffrin, a classic Improbably Good-Natured Wandering Rogue archetype. You know, the classic shifty thief-type and troublemaker who nonetheless aids the party without thought of reward and isn't actually a criminal despite the vibes? That kind of rogue.

The Kid isn't a playable character. They can contribute to combat, but it's randomized. The most you can do is equip them with gear and skills that affect the frequency of their input, and ask them to feed the party heals (and possibly feed the final boss a bomb).

What the Kid is, what they represent, is in many ways the emotional core of the party (as the party knows it; Siffrin might develop different ideas, but, notably, still cares deeply for the Kid's wellbeing).

The Kid provides snacks, which is partly about their heals-carrying role, but it has a broader application. Between each level in the main dungeon, there's a snack break with three options. As you play the game, looping over and over, choosing different snacks can be the most you can break out at times. Snacktime also creates a narrative and gameplay break, a time to chat with the party one-on-one.

The Kid is the moral support and backbone of the party; it's possible to tell this story without them, but it would, frankly speaking, be a less emotional, less interesting story, with lower stakes. The Kid is at risk when you fight; the adults team up and agree to protect them no matter the cost, and this is not a throwaway line. This has consequences. This creates texture.

Late in the game, Siffrin develops the option to do Party Member Personal Quests, and despite being a noncombatant, the Kid is one of them. All of these Quests are meaningful and important in their way, but the things we learn in the Kid's Quest are extremely important to understanding Siffrin. The other Quests have personal elements that Siffrin relates to, but this one is about him in a very specific way, that could not be fully replicated by mirroring the events referenced onto one of the adults. This Quest pans out the way it does because the Kid is a kid.

It's hard for me to put into exact words, especially when I don't want to spoil things, but there's even more specific details that make them important to the narrative progression, again, without being an "important" person in the context of the game world. By being important to Siffrin and the rest of the party, by having their narrative wound in with the others, the Kid is as integral to the story as any other character.

Kid characters like this in video games aren't often well-respected, and that tends to be for good reason - they tend to represent ludonarrative dissonance, be annoying, or be the product of overcompensation and have their importance rubbed into the player's face. Many of them could be extracted from the narrative without having a significant effect on the outcome, or would destroy the narrative because they're the focus character, borderline Morality Pets for protagonists. The Kid in ISAT and SA fascinates me, because I came to care about them in a very natural manner, not just because their personality and interactions are endearing, but because the way they and the other party members relate to each other has a tangible impact on the story and emotional core of the game.

[pokegyns]

nobody is ready to talk about actual gender abolition.

neither tras, nor radfems.

being deeply immersed in both communities, i’ve been observing the way that both of them function, and something i’ve noticed is– they both very often tend to claim to be gender abolitionists, and not only this– they both claim to profess gender abolition. they claim it is very near & dear to them, but as an autistic trans radfem whose special interest is gender abolition; i can confirm that both the radfem & the tra “versions” of gender abolition fail to be consistent, meaningful & coherent; both versions find the pitiful comfort in laying within the borders of the ever-raging status quo, fearful to challenge & genuinely step at its’ legs, to meaningfully cross the borders– both versions remain adamant on reformism & mere “gender fuckery”, all the while fervently shouting how progressive, how revolutionary, how status quo-breaking they are being. both versions advocate liberalism, more “wiggle room” & more leeway– but neither make the effort to go beyond the personal, beyond the individual and beyond free will/choice.

in order to be able to advocate for gender abolition in its’ truest form, we first have to understand that gender are not merely just aesthetics, outward appearances, self-expressions, or even just silly stereotypes. understanding this is the first step to being able to understand gender abolition, and more often than not, both tras & radfems fail at this very first step. gender is a lethal force, a superstructure, a class-based system; it is a tool of the patriarchy, a very dangerous one. it has a base and a structure.

gender dynamics are created & directed by reproductive relations, and how we engage & interact with reproductive labor shapes our relations to gender. this extends beyond cultural stereotypes & fluctuating aesthetics. it is neither individualistic in the reformist tra sense where Gender is A Social Construct in the way that it is merely our “sense of self”, and neither is it individualistic in the radfem sense where Gender is A Social Construct that we must fight on an interpersonal scale. gender cannot be fought on a personal level. gender cannot be “played with” in the tra sense where we all choose a set of attributes to ascribe to & then call them gender, and neither can it be “played with” by attempting to opt out of the gender class system by claiming you are a “genderless adult human female” in the radfem sense. both are essentially minimizing the significance of gender in our current society, and both are advocating for a utterly western-centric, bastardized, watered-down & individualistic form of “gender abolition”. the tra understanding of gender abolition is all about choice, breaking down the notion that women & men must look this or that way, and destroying parts of superficial personality stereotypes. the radfem understanding of gender abolition is similarly also all about choice– telling people that gender nonconformity is an inherent act of Gender Rebellion™ [tras also do this!], claiming that gender is oppressive but also refusing to do away with it because “how will women then speak of their oppression?” [are they incapable of imagining a post-gender world? possibly, because they claim to be passionate gender abolitionists, while holding so strongly onto gender, since that is all they know & they must rely on it to further their theory], claiming that biology has nothing to do with gender yet reverting back to connecting gender to biology when it is convenient to their cause.

both are ultimately misunderstanding both gender & gender abolition. both see it as a mere performance, as aesthetics. both are advocating for reformism & desperate attempts at opting-out [tras try to opt out by promoting medical supplements, creating multiple new genders, messing with mere accessories; while radfems try to opt out by using meaningless words & phrases such as “a woman is an adult human female, nothing to do with gender at all!”, by trying to ignore gender & then assuming that their ignoring will somehow result in gender abolition]. radfems advocate for gender contraction, not recognizing that we cannot “revert back to sex” when our own very understanding of sex itself is extremely immersed & rooted in the sex-gender system– we cannot “revert back” to something that never even existed without the thing we are trying to leave behind in the first place [i am not saying anatomical differences don’t exist outside of gender– our *understandings* of the sex categories do not]. tras, on the other hand, advocate for gender fuckery, not understanding that liberation will not come along if we simply “play” with our biology & try to desperately ignore material reality. while radfems claim gender isn’t something to be overthrown & rather something to be ignored, tras claim gender is our own internal sense of self & gender roles are the thing we must abolish (again, heavy misunderstanding of gender as a class system from both sides; radfems lean into thinking that gender is this social attribute that only slightly limits women [they see Woman as a legitimate biological phenomenal category, not as a gender], and not a lethal force of the patriarchy that limits female people & influences & creates/goes hand-in-hand with sex-based oppression, while tras lean into thinking that gender is completely disconnected from stereotypes & roles [again, roles & stereotypes {be they external or internal/aesthetical or personified} are only one sect of gender, not the whole of it], their view of gender being limited to Gender Identity/Gender Expression/Gender Roles, with gender roles being *the thing* they are claiming to want to abolish).

both will claim to be the biggest gender abolitionists ever, but both will cling onto it for dear life & get unnecessarily angry whenever you suggest to talk about actual gender abolition. both will say gender is limiting & restrictive, but the second you wish to talk about gender as a system in depth & analyze that the only way to go about gender abolition is by following principles of proletarian feminism, they will go back to treating gender as an extremely important & crucial part of society that we cannot live without. they both go back to proving they ultimately believe gender is Here To Stay. either out of their nonsensical “biological” reasons (radfem case) or out of nonsensical “self-expression” reasons (tra sense). gender is bad, until you actually want to suggest ways to get rid of it (radfem: “ignore it and it will go away! do to yourself whatever you want! man=adult human male! woman=adult human female! this is undeniable truth! men can like pink and wear dresses! women can like blue and do sports! this is literally how you do Gender Abolition™! there’s no one way to be a woman!”, tra: “just do whatever you want to yourself, stomp on those stereotypes! prove that there’s no one way to be a woman! [real gender abolition lays in destroying the class of woman by the way, and also probably introducing new simple terms for female & male humans that aren’t intrinsically linked to gender & contemporary sex categories; the english word woman is literally derived from words wife + man, so this just goes out to show that tras also don’t care about leaving the category of “woman” behind & only want to talk the talk] chicks can have dicks! lads can have vulvas!”).

perhaps radfems might say that their mere gender contraction is because they don’t believe that a woman is a gender, but this just goes to show that most of contemporary radfems have never read an ounce of radical feminist theory. radical feminist theory defines a woman as a social category to be abolished. the faves of many radical feminists, such as andrea dworkin, christine delphy, and monique wittig– all speak about genuine gender abolition, and they all correctly identify gender as a lethal tool of the patriarchy, not merely a passive social bystander to female oppression; but rather an active participant, encourager, and influencer of it. gender is so much more than mere aesthetics, roles, stereotypes, and attributes– and we just cannot “do away” with it if we cling onto some parts of it. we have to fully do away with it. we cannot abolish some parts, and leave the others intact. we risk allowing gender to recreate itself in some way by choosing this route. both tras & radfems are afraid of gender abolition because it forces them to challenge their set-in-stone beliefs, and their limited understanding of gender abolition is just not enough for genuine liberation. they don’t want gender abolition. in their ideal world, everything would stay the same; except maybe this time, boys would also be told to like pink & play with dolls and kitchen sets, while girls would be gifted action figures & be encouraged to play sports (goes to show how they have just no idea that gender is not locked in time– it fluctuates to adapt to new eras & time periods. giving action figures to girls will not end social misogyny nor will it liberate females in any way, shape or form. misogyny was also a thing back when gender didn’t take the shape we know it as today). maybe this time, women would regularly have beards and men would walk in dresses. will this stop femicide? child brides? pornography? economic exploitation more broadly? unethical misogynistic practices? no. i don’t think so.

– mod zoroark