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#rainwearfaggot#faggot humiliation#exposed faggot#mini dick#homophobia#faggot slave#Gummistøvler#regntøy#gummi#Horegutt
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the batkids play the “what’s the most annoying injury you’ve ever had?” game but it’s lighthearted (“I broke both thumbs on a bad landing and couldn’t play video games for a month” “one time I got a cut on my leg that reopened every time I stood up” etc) until Bruce walks in. someone asks him the most annoying injury he’s ever had and he doesn’t even stop to think about it.
“Fracturing my spine.”
“Oh jeez,” Dick said, making a face. “Yeah, that’ll do it. That’s definitely…well, annoying isn’t the word I’d use.”
Bruce, expressionless: “Mostly because I couldn’t walk or complete other daily activities without assistance for an extended period of time.”
Dick, glancing at Jason. “Uh….huh.”
“What about that time Ivy hit you with that leaf and you couldn’t eat legumes for a year?” Jason asked, redirecting the suddenly maudlin group. “Wasn’t that more annoying?”
“Hmm.”
Tim leaned back, looking curious. “Just legumes?”
“Legumes,” Jason repeated, waving a hand. “It got ugly.”
“I’m not a huge fan of peanuts,” Bruce said, thoughtful.
“Yeah, no shit, I wonder why.”
#rambling#micro fic#mini fic#Fic ideas#bruce wayne#batman#dc#theresurrectionist#batfamily#Jason todd#dick Grayson#Tim drake#nightwing#Robin#Red Robin#red hood
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Ultimately the resolution of Jason and Cass fights comes down to the fact that while he has his own ideals that don't mesh with the bats, Jason can be flexible. DC skipped the whole reconciliation with the family but while he's willing to kill it's generally a means to an end to him, not the whole entire point unless you're talking about Joker. Meanwhile for Cass the question of killing vs not killing is dead serious to her which means any time they're working together and things start going off track it's like:
Jason: Look if we kill this guy we send a message to his boss which makes it easier for us to negotiate with him from a position of power and I just think that-
Cass, snatching one of his guns and pointing it at her own head: Go on, pull the trigger. Kill him. Kill me. Go tell Batman that you let his daughter die to make a negotiation easier. He already let you die so no problem right? You think we should die? You think our life only worthwhile as part of a plan, just because we're killers? Are we doomed? Are we rotten to the core with no hope of redemption? Go on then, kill us and kill part of your soul alongside it. You clearly don't care for it so why are you even trying? Kill yourself along with us, come on Jason let's all just die right?
Jason, slowly backing away: I think you may be projecting a tiny bit so just. Calm down before I call the suicide hotline please.
Cass, slowly lowering the gun and knocking the random henchman unconscious: Yeah that's what I thought, fucking pussy.
Jason: Mm yeah you know what I hate you actually. Fuck this mission I'll just shoot you right now if you're going to be this annoying about it.
Jason, explaining things later to Dick: So I just kept shooting at her until I ran out of bullets and we both calmed down enough to call a truce. We tracked the guy down and didn't kill anyone but I did blow up the batplane just as a last minute screw you. Is she always this uh... intense?
Dick: Yeah, one time I broke up with Barbara and she threw me out a window. She's just like that.
#dc#cassandra cain#jason todd#batfam#dc rambles#dick grayson#it's so funny how jason is like. a mass murderer. and yet he's more of a team player than cass#like yeah he's violent and unpredictable but if you're on the same team with the same temporary goal then you've got decent chances#meanwhile the entire team could be seconds away from dying with the only solution being to kill a guy with a bomb#and if you're on the team with cass she'll spend the last few seconds punching you in the face for trying to kill the evil guy#then disarming the bomb because she's just that annoying#I love her very much <3#i'm jason posting a lot recently sorry jtodd stans for clogging up his tag#I just like the thought of jason dealing with a mini bruce that has none of the baggage of being his dad#so it's just the experience of ramming his head into an annoying brick wall with zero catharsis of confronting your shitty father
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This idea has been rotting in my head for weeks. Bonus Panel:
#batfam#fan art#art#dick grayson#batfamily#dc robin#jason todd#nightwing#red hood#red robin#short comic#mini comic#fan comic#batfam incorrect quotes#nightwing art#tim drake#tim drake wayne#my art
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Tim, looking around the darkened corridor: "You think it's a good idea to be breaking into random places right now?"
Jason said nothing, fumbling in his pockets.
Dick: "You live here, don't you?" Which gets everyone's attention laser-focused.
Jason just cast him a look, getting the door open.
Steph entered first, smacking into something that falls over. "Jeez." She complained, stumbling backward until Cass steadied her by the shoulders. "Sorry, that's my bad."
Duke turned on the lights in one motion, making everyone blink and wince.
"Get off me." Damian snapped, and Dick carefully let him go, letting him limp angrily into a chair. He frowned, scrutinizing the place. "You live here? Why would anyone--"
"Guys." Dick rubbed his eyes over the mask, cutting off Damian and Jason’s sharp answer. "First aid kit?" Dick asked Jason tiredly.
Jason nodded, moving to get it and heard Damian ask "What?" in response to a patented glare he must be getting.
Tim had made a beeline for the kitchen. "Dude, why do you have a singular set of dishes? And why are there just guns in this cabinet?"
Jason scoffed, handing Dick the kit. "Didn't realize I was running a fucking bed and breakfast."
"There's guns in this cabinet too!" Tim shook his head, opening and closing two more. "Oh good, just large knives in this one."
At Tim's raised eyebrows, Jason went into the kitchen and shooed Cass down the counter she was perched on, grabbing the paper plates he kept in a drawer and shoving them into Tim's chest.
Glancing at the way Steph was rubbing her neck, slouched at the table, Jason grabbed two ice packs, sliding one her way and throwing the other to Damian.
Duke, taking a book off Jason's meticulously organized shelf: "Why do you have seven copies of Pride and Prejudice? Did you keep forgetting you bought it, or--?"
Jason, storming over to put the book back. "Stop."
Dick looked up from the wound he was stitching. "Are they different at at all?"
"Are they in different languages?" Steph asked.
"Did you barter them for food? Because your fridge is fucking empty." Tim reported.
Jason groaned, realizing that they weren't going to drop it. "One has a different introduction and one is the zombies version. And yes, the rest are the same, now could you all stop touching stuff?"
"Why do you have five copies of the same book?"
#New format I'm testing out: too lazy to write a fic and too content heavy to be a text post#I present to you minificpost#Batman#Dc comics#Mini something#Batfamily#Jason Todd#Dick Grayson#Duke Thomas#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#damian wayne#Tim Drake#batfam#Don't know why I fixated on pride and Prejudice#Man reads other books too lol
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In many fics Danny gets his phd. In many fics Danny is the ghost king. Now I need a fic where just for maybe one sentence, they use the sentence ‘dr. King Phantom.’ For some reason or the other. The title just seems hilarious to me.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#thought of it while reading a fic#holding me now in hand by DissillusionedDanny#it’s awesome#dpxdc#batman#dc#dp#dp x dc crossover#ghost#writing prompt#mini prompt#dick grayson
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Movie night is a vital part of the Red Team experience
plus an honorary Doc to make the snack runs
#rvb#rvb donut#rvb locus#rvb sarge#rvb grif#rvb simmons#rvb doc#rvb lopez#my art#batsy art#samuel ‘locus’ ortez#franklin delano donut#lopez the heavy#frank 'doc' dufrense#dexter grif#dick simmons#rvb red team#red vs blue#i have no idea what theyre watching but everyone is very invested#except lopez who is reading locus' book over his shoulder#locus is pretending to read bc he's definitely not getting dragged into the joy of watching a movie with your found family no sirree not hi#this is a lie and lopez will call him out on it.. another night#for now they vibe#docs spot is directly in front of donut bc donut is playing with his hair during the 'boring' parts#grif and simmons have claimed the 'neutral' mini-couch for their own#the blues are having their own team bonding night which is 'camping' in the yard#enrichment for everyone on team night#donut and simmons being the most invested after sarge felt like the only viable option here#sarge is yelling at the screen bc u cannot convince me he wouldnt be that guy who calls the mc an idiot for not talking to their team#hi pot calling the kettle black but when is the man ever that aware of himself
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Batfam ranked from best to worst at Driving:
Jason gets pulled over the most because he follows road laws in Gotham, something that people only do if they’re not from Gotham, and if you’re not from Gotham why the fuck would you come there -very suspicious behavior. He does ignore the speed limit in an emergency though
Bruce does not follow driving laws expect from when one of his kids (or any kid) is in the car, if which he gets very close to following them
Duke is newer to driving, but is well on his way to becoming a menace and as Signal uses a motorcycle he does not have a license for
Tim has never followed the speed limit in his life, even as a civilian. He adds modifications to every for a transportation he owns (cars, Redbird, his skateboard) to make them go as fast as possible, but is somehow still has a very quick reaction speed and though he is a hazard to those in his car, everyone outside the car is fine
Dick is the worse driver of the kids despite not growing up with Gotham’s streets and I don’t have a reason, I just think it would be funny Dick and his Mini Copper are the go to car for all the batkid while also being a hazard to society
And last but not least, the worst driver:
Alfred. He’s the one who taught all of them.
Not mentioned:
Damian- Is 9-14. Should not be driving. (Would fall between Bruce and Duke)
Cass- I have decided that Cass can’t drive a car. A tank or a jet, sure, but not a car
Steph- will never be the designated driver because what is the point of having rich friends if you can’t ride in their luxury cars
BatMobile- Only Bruce uses it like an actual car, everyone else always ends up crashing it (this is not explained)
#i am ignoring canon please don’t tell me if I’m wrong#jason todd#bruce wayne#duke thomas#tim drake#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth#damian wayne#cassandra cain#stephaine brown#batfam#yes dick owns a mini cooper
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I'm seeing a lot of "ugh, so we can't even criticize fic authors anymore?" posts popping up on here and the ao3 subreddit and I just want to say, for the record: No one's saying you can't criticize (fanfic) authors publicly. They're saying it's rude and antithetical to positive fandom experience. And, yes there's a difference.
If this website was a conference and I had just spent a whole afternoon listening to a presentation on [unpopular fic trope] and after that was done, I got up on stage and very publicly told the audience that [unpopular fic trope] was illogical and anyone who writes it is woefully misinformed and should be banned from writing [relevant character], that would in fact be a dick move.
"But the canon character would never--" it doesn't matter. You're shouting down the hall at the person who just happily did a whole seminar on their OOC version of that character. "But I don't like that the author chose to make them--" good, you're well-acquainted with your likes and dislikes, time to find another fic.
We all run into fics and interpretations we don't like. But there's a huge difference between loudly talking about it on Tumblr where the author can see it, and just venting in a private discord or other group. Also, gentle reminder that this is a hobby for most writers and something they do purely because they enjoy it. Stop being massive dicks just because you feel entitled to a certain flavor of fanfiction you will probably be chasing until the Reformation of Krypton.
#rant#mini rant#fandom#fanfic#fanfiction#fic#writing#writing things#fanfiction things#fanfiction writing#ao3#archive of our own#sorry for all the writing rants this week#it's just that r/AO3 is driving me nuts#saw a LOT of hate for evil superman on there this week and I was reminded of my rant last week about this same subject#guess what yall: it's also EVEN MORE of a dick move when you NAME the fic you hate#I see y'all doing that over there and that shit needs to stop#yeah here's this garbage fic: [link} -- are you shitting#me?#anyway#sorry#end rant
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Robins on a Rooftop <3
#dick grayson#dick grayson fanart#jason todd#jason todd robin#tim drake#tim drake robin#stephanie brown#stephanie brown robin#damian wayne#damian wayne robin#maps mizoguchi#maps mizoguchi robin#dc robin#mini camios from Cass and Duke my beloveds <3
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#batman#batman wayne family adventures#dc comics#the trio is back#they should be tims bodyguards at this point#adorable idiots#adorale dorks#red hood has so much fun#eir (my spidersona) would have laughed her ass offf#wayne family adventures#bruce wayne#dick grayson#atsv#nightwing#red hood#red robin#spoiler#orphan dc#dc robin#signal dc#poor tim drake#cannot wait for the last mini episode#cannot wait for the new epsiodes
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"I'm telling you," Tim said. "We don't take our secret identities seriously enough."
Dick inhaled deeply, clicking through evidence the Zodiac Master had left behind. "I'm technically on vacation in France." He reminded Tim. "A double of me is currently using the Wayne funds left and right so I can convince people that Dick Grayson and Nightwing aren't the same person."
"I was thinking more if we ever got de-masked."
Dick made a go on gesture.
Tim's eyes glinted brightly. "The CIA gives out poison pills--"
"You think if you're dead they'll somehow be unable to figure put who you are?" Dick asked sharply, not bothering to make the obvious emotional argument.
"No, but it would prevent the sharing of secrets. What my real suggestion is that we line our domino masks with small capsules of acid, so if anyone tries to forcibly take them off--"
"Or we get punched too hard, or accidentally get stranded without any way to safely melt the glue, we get Two Faced?" Dick scoffed and Tim shrugged, clearly considering that a minor loss.
"No dice, Timmy, and don't you dare even bring it up with B." Dick held up a finger. "He might even start looking into it, you know how impressed he was with Jason's helmet bomb."
"Dick--"
"Shut up and let me enjoy my vacation."
#mini something#I don't know what counts as a mini fic#tim drake#batbros#batman#dc comics#dick grayson#nightwing#bruce wayne#batfamily#jason todd#batfam#eldest daughter dick grayson
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It’s before Ethiopia and Bruce has asked for Dick’s help on a magic user case. Both of them get de-aged to 14/15.
So, we get Jason, who is more confident about his relationship with Bruce than he had been at 12, but was starting to get benched more often. Dick, who knows about Batman and Robin but doesn’t know Jason is adopted OR Robin. And teenage Bruce’s non-verbal ass who doesn’t know any of this. And poor Alfred, now looking after 3 teenagers with anger issues.
So Jason is the only one besides Alfred of any real understanding of what happened. Dick is trying to treat the situation like his first solo case without Batman since Bruce doesn’t know who either of them are, and Alfred is struggling to explain taking in two children Bruce’s age, and vigilantism, and magic.
After the boys prove they’re willing to do something incredibly dangerous without telling Alfred, he gives up and calls Clark. He’s the easiest way to convince Bruce he’s telling the truth about the world and will call in the Justice League to handle the magic user. Dick and Jason are pissed but Clark and Diana are there, so it’s not as bad as it could be.
There are too many people and Bruce is struggling the most to figure out how to act and for someone already non-talkative it’s even worse. He finds Diana waiting for him in his favorite quiet spot. Neither of them say anything for a long time. Eventually, Bruce breaks first and the two talk about what kind of person he becomes, how highly regarded he is in superhero circles and Gotham for being Batman and Bruce Wayne. But secretly, he’s most concerned about just being Bruce. About the two boys in his house that he’s a father to.
Dick and Jason really have it out. And sure, Dick’s skills surpass Jason’s at this age because he’s been an acrobat all his life, but Jason puts up a fight that’s dirty and mean and desperate. They clash badly and it’s brutal. Jason admits to not knowing about where the name Robin came from and Dick admits he’s not adopted. Dick starts to understand that Jason thinks Bruce only took him in so he could be Robin. And Jason starts to grapple with the fact he replaced Dick and took his family from him. They’re both miserable but they’re also both avoiding Bruce.
He’s made it clear he doesn’t want to talk to them and as the person who has the least understanding of what’s going on, they’ve been trying not to overwhelm him. Because they’re both pretty good at reading adult Bruce and this kid version looks like he’s gonna take off running at any minute.
Jason tries keeping to himself by reading in the library and Dick tries to stay in the cave but gets pushed out by the Justice League and has to do his workouts in the home gym. Bruce tries to stay in the kitchen with Alfred, who asks him to bring the other boys lunch and to try speaking with them for a few minutes.
Bruce asks Jason what he’s reading and is struck by how earnest he is, even if he’s defensive. It’s more honest than any of the other kids he goes to school with, who are concerned only with appearances and money. Bruce tells him what they’re covering in his own classes and Jason asks if any of the teachers are the same. Jason calls one old woman who was old when Bruce knew her a crone and it startles a laugh out of him. Jason thinks that maybe they’ll be okay.
Bruce finds Dick in the gym and watches him for a while. He startles him on accident and Dick lands on his ankle wrong. There’s a first aid kit in the gym so Bruce hands it to him and asks how he can help. Dick is surprised that Bruce knows this level of first aid this young and he admits to thinking about medical school and following his father’s footsteps.
Bruce is struck by how unlike other people Dick and Jason are. That if he had met them now, he’d like to think they’d have become friends. How they would have liked Harvey.
When the spell is reversed, Dick and Jason have a long talk about what it is to be brothers. Bruce and Jason talk about their relationship as being different from Batman and Robin. Bruce adopts Dick and they discuss his independence with a lot less yelling than normal.
#batman#jason todd#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#robin#jaybin#like honestly could you imagine all three of them at that age?? if they knew each other?? they would burn down the manor#jason trying to figure out if he should tel dick about nightwing and dropping out of college and fighting with bruce#dick thinking jason must be a friend staying over and going to treat him how he does the titans and realizing he stole his moms nickname#bruce not believing alfred about magic but also how the hell did alfred get so old this quick wtf#plus clark and the rest of the league hiding out in the basement to protect the kids and prevent them from going on patrol#oliver standing in the kitchen with alfred and mini-bruce sees him and blue screens#he can believe maybe that he’ll become batman but the idea that queen is a hero? impossible#i think angsty bruce would gravitate towards diana and think clark is a naive tool but his kids are pretty great#if alfred was going grey before he’s going white now
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Hear me out, okay. Damian is a very casual person. Like he knows slang and swears like a sailor (Jason's fault) and knows memes like he knows his colour pallet, but not in English.
You can't tell me that the first language Talia spoke to Damian was English. No you fool! It was Arabic, then Chinese, then Persian before English.
Because his whole life was surrounded by these three languages, he learned to have more casual conversations in them.
The only reason he speaks so formally in English is because Jason would read him classical literature, and that's the problem. Classical literature if formal and old. Jason never bothered to talk to Damian in English for him to know how to converse in casual conversation, and this being the case Damian grew up thinking this is how people talk.
This being said this is the only reason the family knows Arabic and Persian (they all knew Chinese). The only way to have a casual conversation with him is to talk to him in these languages, and this is how the family leard that Damian is a comedian. Like he can make Bruce and Alfred belly laugh at the most inane, sexually explicit and cras things at the drop of a hat (just like Jason).
He is the only one rivaling Jason in the swear jar, Dick was so shocked he actually cried. This gets worse when he hits 19.
Like that one time he and Tim were walking to the office when they were approached by paparazzi. Like Damian went from cussing their ancestors to dissing their appearance, to saying Joker thinks their joke all in one breath, all with a straight face that it had his 26 year old brother rolling on the floor. Bruce seeing this from the lobby - Where he was talking to a very important ambassador-, comes out to drag both of them inside by their ears. Damian is still going off and Tim is still clutching his stomach.
And the paparazzi is so confused because one: they know Damian to be a very formal young man, if not a little dry and sarcastic, and two: They didn't understand shit. This whole thing has Gotham shocked. Jason and Talia have never been so proud.
#Damian: Jason Todd's mini me#Make Damian more of a teenager please#Alfred Pennyworth#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#batfam#Tim Drake#Batfamily shenanigans#Talia al Ghul
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Tales of the Teen Titans #1-4 main covers by Nicola Scott.
#koriand’r#starfire#donna troy#wonder woman#garfield logan#beast boy#raven#teen titans#diana prince#dick grayson#dc#dc comics#not tagging anymore#this is a 4 issue mini focusing on the backstories of these four characters#dc really do be pushing the titans to the forefront right now#also ew terry...he should have just been forgotten to time
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the things ekky has done or said that i cant stop thinking about. the 4 minute cut.
#theres a lot more#but those videos exist in vertical and like wow yeah#obviously because of that honourable mentions:#ekky on the pole almost kicking luosty in the face falling on his ass while he gets hauled up by multiple cats and mikksy put his hat back#ekky calling forsy a perfect swede#ekky slowdancing with sasha at the club#ekky saying im below you to benny while pointing out his name#ekky showing off his tat every minute he can by pulling up his shorts at the parade and gave us an egregious look at his dick#the first time ekky and mikksy do the bumpy ritual and ekky grunts at each bump and goes I LIKE THAT#any practise day mini mic shenanigans i.e “forsy cuz i love him” “forsy but only with his shirt off”#when he went tarps off for his cupday because it was raining on the golfcourse#additionally when he shimmied the cup to feeling hot hot hot#that time he was wearing shorts that they were bunching up in the front and he had to “subtly” pick it out in front of a crowd of phins fans#that time he organised a sturgeon tagging trip and invited the boys who liked fishing and also monty for vibes#because fishing is his love language#oh letting maffhew pour champagne in his mouth at the club#feeling up stolie at the end of the parade and lifting up his shirt#drinking out of the cup with forsy and also feeding himself the champgane cam but forsy taking it away from him#him hugging senko into his stall#honestly anytime he brings up forsy whether its his footspeed/speed. his body.#or how blessed he is to play with him#and likening him to a greek god#please dont make me go on
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