#mini dick

[frownyalfred]

the batkids play the “what’s the most annoying injury you’ve ever had?” game but it’s lighthearted (“I broke both thumbs on a bad landing and couldn’t play video games for a month” “one time I got a cut on my leg that reopened every time I stood up” etc) until Bruce walks in. someone asks him the most annoying injury he’s ever had and he doesn’t even stop to think about it.

“Fracturing my spine.”

“Oh jeez,” Dick said, making a face. “Yeah, that’ll do it. That’s definitely…well, annoying isn’t the word I’d use.”

Bruce, expressionless: “Mostly because I couldn’t walk or complete other daily activities without assistance for an extended period of time.”

Dick, glancing at Jason. “Uh….huh.”

“What about that time Ivy hit you with that leaf and you couldn’t eat legumes for a year?” Jason asked, redirecting the suddenly maudlin group. “Wasn’t that more annoying?”

“Hmm.”

Tim leaned back, looking curious. “Just legumes?”

“Legumes,” Jason repeated, waving a hand. “It got ugly.”

“I’m not a huge fan of peanuts,” Bruce said, thoughtful.

“Yeah, no shit, I wonder why.”

[kaattlin]

so…. here’s an itty bitty nightwing cover!!

red hood | batgirl | red robin | robin | spoiler | signal | oracle

[gothamite-rambler]

Jason (crossing his arms with attitude): What are you going to do? I refuse to apologize.

Bruce stared at Jason in shock, and in his anger, he made a decision that every parent dreads.

Bruce (stern tone): You are grounded!

Jason (this is a whole adult, defiant): You can't ground me!

Bruce (firmly): Grounded!

Jason (shouting, confused): But I don't even live here!

Bruce turned Jason around and pointed to the stairs leading to his old room. Jason was too stunned to respond.

Bruce (stern, but calm): Tonight. Your room. Grounded!

Jason (stammering): I- I- Wait- This isn't fair!

Bruce (scolding parent voice): I'm very disappointed in you. Now go to your room. I'm only doing this because I care for you. Grounded.

Jason (face turning red with anger and sadness): This is some bullshit!

Jason stomped upstairs and slammed the door to his old room. The sound of random items being tossed around echoed through the house.

Bruce (indifferent): He'll work it out of his system. I'm going to bed.

Dick (looking at Tim, then Bruce as he heads upstairs): Did you just ground a 23-year-old?

Tim (surprised): And did it work?

Bruce: You forget I'm Batman.

masterlist

[aingeal98]

Ultimately the resolution of Jason and Cass fights comes down to the fact that while he has his own ideals that don't mesh with the bats, Jason can be flexible. DC skipped the whole reconciliation with the family but while he's willing to kill it's generally a means to an end to him, not the whole entire point unless you're talking about Joker. Meanwhile for Cass the question of killing vs not killing is dead serious to her which means any time they're working together and things start going off track it's like:

Jason: Look if we kill this guy we send a message to his boss which makes it easier for us to negotiate with him from a position of power and I just think that-

Cass, snatching one of his guns and pointing it at her own head: Go on, pull the trigger. Kill him. Kill me. Go tell Batman that you let his daughter die to make a negotiation easier. He already let you die so no problem right? You think we should die? You think our life only worthwhile as part of a plan, just because we're killers? Are we doomed? Are we rotten to the core with no hope of redemption? Go on then, kill us and kill part of your soul alongside it. You clearly don't care for it so why are you even trying? Kill yourself along with us, come on Jason let's all just die right?

Jason, slowly backing away: I think you may be projecting a tiny bit so just. Calm down before I call the suicide hotline please.

Cass, slowly lowering the gun and knocking the random henchman unconscious: Yeah that's what I thought, fucking pussy.

Jason: Mm yeah you know what I hate you actually. Fuck this mission I'll just shoot you right now if you're going to be this annoying about it.

Jason, explaining things later to Dick: So I just kept shooting at her until I ran out of bullets and we both calmed down enough to call a truce. We tracked the guy down and didn't kill anyone but I did blow up the batplane just as a last minute screw you. Is she always this uh... intense?

Dick: Yeah, one time I broke up with Barbara and she threw me out a window. She's just like that.

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

“He’s doing the rocking thing again,” Dick nudges him. Bruce hums and looks up from his computer at his eldest.

“Damian,” He whispers, pointing across the cave at his youngest. Damian is standing looking down on some pieces of paper that are spread out strategically on the floor. All of that would be normal except for the fact that he has one hand brought up to his mouth and he is rocking back and forth on his feet. Dick has mentioned seeing him do this previously but Bruce has never seen it in person.

Bruce studies him, he doesn’t look distressed. Damian’s distress or negative emotions in general tend to be a bit…loud for lack of better word. But this is completely silent. He looks calm.

“I think, it’s how he thinks,” Dick whispers and Bruce nods as they both watch Damian remove his fingers from his mouth to adjust the absolutely enormous noise cancelling headphones resting on his head. He hears Dick gag.

“Jeez, we probably shouldn’t let him put his fingers in his mouth but i dunno how to tell him it’s unsanitary without making him think he can’t stim at all,” Dick says conflicted. Stimming? Ah yes, Tim had given him a book on it a while ago. Maybe he’ll go read it when he’s done down here.

[sharksandjays]

Based off of a scene i saw in Teen Titans (2003) #56

Someone give this kiddo a break

[itsgravesart]

This idea has been rotting in my head for weeks. Bonus Panel:

[violent138]

Tim, looking around the darkened corridor: "You think it's a good idea to be breaking into random places right now?"

Jason said nothing, fumbling in his pockets.

Dick: "You live here, don't you?" Which gets everyone's attention laser-focused.

Jason just cast him a look, getting the door open.

Steph entered first, smacking into something that falls over. "Jeez." She complained, stumbling backward until Cass steadied her by the shoulders. "Sorry, that's my bad."

Duke turned on the lights in one motion, making everyone blink and wince.

"Get off me." Damian snapped, and Dick carefully let him go, letting him limp angrily into a chair. He frowned, scrutinizing the place. "You live here? Why would anyone--"

"Guys." Dick rubbed his eyes over the mask, cutting off Damian and Jason’s sharp answer. "First aid kit?" Dick asked Jason tiredly.

Jason nodded, moving to get it and heard Damian ask "What?" in response to a patented glare he must be getting.

Tim had made a beeline for the kitchen. "Dude, why do you have a singular set of dishes? And why are there just guns in this cabinet?"

Jason scoffed, handing Dick the kit. "Didn't realize I was running a fucking bed and breakfast."

"There's guns in this cabinet too!" Tim shook his head, opening and closing two more. "Oh good, just large knives in this one."

At Tim's raised eyebrows, Jason went into the kitchen and shooed Cass down the counter she was perched on, grabbing the paper plates he kept in a drawer and shoving them into Tim's chest.

Glancing at the way Steph was rubbing her neck, slouched at the table, Jason grabbed two ice packs, sliding one her way and throwing the other to Damian.

Duke, taking a book off Jason's meticulously organized shelf: "Why do you have seven copies of Pride and Prejudice? Did you keep forgetting you bought it, or--?"

Jason, storming over to put the book back. "Stop."

Dick looked up from the wound he was stitching. "Are they different at at all?"

"Are they in different languages?" Steph asked.

"Did you barter them for food? Because your fridge is fucking empty." Tim reported.

Jason groaned, realizing that they weren't going to drop it. "One has a different introduction and one is the zombies version. And yes, the rest are the same, now could you all stop touching stuff?"

"Why do you have five copies of the same book?"

[justhereforsomethingnice]

In many fics Danny gets his phd. In many fics Danny is the ghost king. Now I need a fic where just for maybe one sentence, they use the sentence ‘dr. King Phantom.’ For some reason or the other. The title just seems hilarious to me.

[gothamite-rambler]

Flashback: Jason Todd when he discovered one of the trainers the Al Ghul's got for him was a child trafficker

*based off a story from the book

Jason (shocked): They… were just children.

His trainer (indifferent): Don't be so dramatic; it was necessary.

Jason (seething with rage): They were just children… and you were trafficking them.

His trainer (indignant): I did what was necessary—

Jason (raising his voice, gripping a knife): THEY WERE JUST CHILDREN, AND YOU TRAFFICKED THEM!

-----------------------------------

Jason (finishing the story): And then I murdered him in cold blood. It was fun… I think I felt true euphoria that day. Oh, and I let the kids go.

Bruce (too stunned and upset to speak): …

Dick (whispering, impressed): Resist the urge to clap.

Tim (horrified): Holy crap, did you have to detail it like that?

Jason: It's not a good story if I leave out the important parts. Like the time I recounted how I beat you up and won, I had to include the part where I stabbed your hand.

Tim (exasperated): You didn't have to and you didn’t win that! You cuffed me to a chimney at the last minute and ran off! I forgive you though, but I won that fight!

Jason (coolly): Seems like a win on my side to me. Anyway, Ra's kept assigning me trainers who were pedophiles, murderers, drug dealer; people I wouldn't let a child around. They all kept rationalizing their crimes, and somehow they kept running into my knife, or getting in the path of my gun, or “accidentally” falling off a bridge. That’s all I’ll say about that.

Tim rolled his eyes, relieved that Jason hadn’t explicitly detailed those killings. Damian and Stephanie, however, had the opposite reaction and stood up, applauding.

Cass (with a blank expression): Jason?

Jason (worried): Yes?

Cass (nodding approvingly): I’ll allow it.

Jason (smiling): Thanks!

Duke: Can somebody pass the cranberry sauce? Also, can I go next? I can top Jason's story! Let’s just say I didn’t buy that katana; nah, I earned that!

Bruce sighed, covering his eyes in frustration.

Bruce: This is the weirdest fucking Thanksgiving, but at least it hasn't gotten worse—

Alfred (making it worse): Talia and Ra's are here.

Damian (pleasantly surprised): Oh, they actually showed up!

Bruce slammed his head on the table.

Dick: That means "God… Damn it!"

masterlist

[hibounails]

Latest batfam orders :))

+the sketches and the charm version :))

https://hibounails.etsy.com/listing/1860352004

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

Movie night is a vital part of the Red Team experience

plus an honorary Doc to make the snack runs

[brie-annwyl]

Tim and Damian always being at each others throats, but always the ones that are most there for each other out if all the siblings.

Dick, bless his heart, is the mother hen of the family. His hands are always full with everyone else and their feelings, that sometimes people get.. forgotten.

Damian was never forgotten. He was Dick’s baby. He told Bruce as such during an argument (“he’s MINE Bruce. I don’t care if you were presumed dead or not. He’s MY son more than he’s yours!”) Damian was his top priority.

Until he wasn’t.

Damian didn’t realize how lonely life felt when he wasn’t the centre of Dick’s world. He didn’t realize how much it would actually hurt when Dick would eventually forget to come to one of his school award ceremonies, or to take him out on their weekly lunches so Damian could spend special one-on-one time with him.

It was 3 hours past when Dick was supposed to have picked him up for lunch, yet Damian was still dressed up in his Nightwing hoodie (a hoodie he stole from the elder). Except he was no longer waiting in the family room like usual, he was up in his room, hiding from the prying eyes of Drake that glanced his way every ten or so minutes when he’d check the time. Lines of worry clearly etched on his face.

Damian tries to call Dick, his call gets sent straight to voicemail. He frowns as he gets a text a few seconds later.

-Sorry Dami, can’t talk right now. I’m out with Steph and Cass for a girls day (yes, I’m invited to those. Lol)-

“Oh.” He forgot. Set plans they have every week. Plans that never diverge. He forgot them for a “girls day”. Damian checks his calendar for the 8th time, needing to make sure he hasn’t mixed up the days (even though he knows he never mixes it up, and it’s always Dick that forgets). He shouldn’t be surprised anymore, their lunches had been canceled the past few weeks due to Dick’s unrelenting schedule, but he had promised Damian that they would go to lunch today, and that he would make up for the past few weeks with staying at the manor and having a sleepover with him.

Damian isn’t sure when he threw his phone, nor when he curled up into a ball in his makeshift reading nook in his closet. His cheeks feel wet and the reality setting in makes him all the more embarrassed. Crying over something so juvenile was so beneath him he might as well change his last name to Drake.

Speak of the devil, Damian internally groans when he hears a soft knock on his closet door.

Maybe Drake is like a dinosaur, if he doesn’t move a muscle or make a sound, he’ll move on and leave him alone.

“I can hear you, demon brat.” An unintentional groan escapes Damian as he buried his face further into his arms. He can hear the closet door open and feels Drake shuffle into his hiding spot, his safe space.

At first, it’s quiet. Neither of them dare utter a word in fear of breaking the calming silence that only exists inside this closet. It’s not the first time the two have found themselves here. Tim is the only person with the amount of audacity to enter Damian’s not-so-secret nook in the back of his closet. It’s the only place the two of them don’t argue, an unspoken boundary that holds together this fragile development in their relationship.

“Is this how you felt?” Damian eventually breaks his silence, casting a subtle glance to Tim, only to realize Tim was already looking at him with an indiscernible expression on his face. It’s a look Damian doesn’t see directed towards him often. He isn’t exactly sure what it means either. It’s a facade, it’s meant to look soft and happy, assumably meant to calm him down before approaching any meaningful conversation. There’s an underlying sting of sadness and pity entwined within it. Damian decides he hates it.

“How I felt?” Tim’s a little closer now, maybe 2 meters away from Damian, his head tilted and eyes questioning. A sigh escapes Damian.

“Is this how you felt when I arrived here? Did he forget he loved you too?” Something in Tim’s expression breaks, and that’s all the answer Damian needs. He feels an urge to apologize, but brushed it away. Him and Tim just being able to talk like this - it’s so new, it started maybe 3 weeks ago. He doesn’t believe he can break down all these walls just yet. He isn’t ready to accept and atone, by looking at Tim, he knows he isn’t ready for that either.

And suddenly the elder robin is a lot closer, almost bumping shoulders as he settles in the same position Damian rests in, staring blankly at the same spot on the wall. It’s his collection of “adopted” animals, the ones where they give you a plushie for sponsoring an animal. Damian had over 30.

“You know, I’ve never been to the Gotham animal sanctuary.” Tim subtly added, hoping Damian took the bate, hoping he didn’t catch on. If he had caught on he managed to hide it very well under a sudden angered gasp.

“You’ve never been?! I have a full exhibition there dedicated in the dangers of housing exotic animals and imploring those to donate to the different charities at each animal exhibit!” Tim threw his hands up in defeat, chuckling slightly.

“Well then boy wonder, we need to go then, don’t we?” Without so much as another word, Tim is pushed out of Damian’s closet. For a moment, he believes he screwed everything up. That Damian will forever live his life as a recluse, only seeing the light of day when physically pried from his hiding place. He’s pleasantly surprised when his little brother emerges in a plain tee shirt and shorts. Tim smiles, not listening as Damian warns him that the exhibits are interactive and imploring him to change his clothes as they will get dirty.

Tim just had to learn that the hard way when elephant snot gets on his new bomber jacket.

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

Little brothers Jason, Tim, And Damian all in the backseat of Dick’s Mini Cooper singing their hearts out to Taylor Swift while Dick curses out the driver in front of them that went straight in a left only lane

[violent138]

"I'm telling you," Tim said. "We don't take our secret identities seriously enough."

Dick inhaled deeply, clicking through evidence the Zodiac Master had left behind. "I'm technically on vacation in France." He reminded Tim. "A double of me is currently using the Wayne funds left and right so I can convince people that Dick Grayson and Nightwing aren't the same person."

"I was thinking more if we ever got de-masked."

Dick made a go on gesture.

Tim's eyes glinted brightly. "The CIA gives out poison pills--"

"You think if you're dead they'll somehow be unable to figure put who you are?" Dick asked sharply, not bothering to make the obvious emotional argument.

"No, but it would prevent the sharing of secrets. What my real suggestion is that we line our domino masks with small capsules of acid, so if anyone tries to forcibly take them off--"

"Or we get punched too hard, or accidentally get stranded without any way to safely melt the glue, we get Two Faced?" Dick scoffed and Tim shrugged, clearly considering that a minor loss.

"No dice, Timmy, and don't you dare even bring it up with B." Dick held up a finger. "He might even start looking into it, you know how impressed he was with Jason's helmet bomb."

"Dick--"

"Shut up and let me enjoy my vacation."