#michael does not think his father is kind and that is the point

[adreamoverlife]

Something about how for all the grief Michael gets about being "daddy’s little boy" and au!Michael gets for “throwing a tantrum” at the end of the day Michael was right. And like holy shit isn’t it insane. Michael was right that free will was an illusion Chucks plan worked so well down to the detail that it can’t be traced to him anymore. Sam and Dean and Cas think they’ve won. The way in 15x19 when Michael is curious about the perception of Heaven and reads up on how humanity views God he says "Amazingly the believers loved him." Au!Michael was right Chuck sees these worlds as nothing more than stories, things to be discarded once they don’t entertain him anymore. Something Castiel doesn’t accept even though he’s seen what Chucks done. Au!Michael gave them the answer, the last page of the book and no one listens.

Idk guys something about Michael being the eldest sibling, something about the quiet stillness of the universe when it was just Michael and God alone. About how we've seen the strange and obsessive way Chuck speaks and hovers around around Dean who for all purposes was supposed to be Michaels perfect reflection. Something about how we’ve seen how vile and enraged Chuck can be when he’s denied. Something about what kinda abuse Amara and God hurled at each other when He was trying to make the universe that must have impacted the way Michael saw his siblings. Something about how we’ve seen that Chucks more than willing to hurt angels, even the Archangels. Something about how Michael must’ve heard Amaras agonizing screams when her brother sealed her away and then went home to Heaven with the smell of the Mark radiating from Lucifer at all times. Something about how the spear Michael was gonna use against Lucifer had an off switch. About a Michael who knows what his father is but thinks they all deserve it anyway.

Something about how Michael was the first to see God before he learned to put on a pretty face and strum an off key guitar like he was anything close to kind. He knows what he is. The All-seeing All-knowing, All-caring God.

[souliebird]

[[and then i met you || ch.1]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary: A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s.

a/n: Reader is an extremely anxious person. That’s the note.

words: 5.6k

You hope Matthew Michael Murdock is a good man. 

You tried to research him online, but you didn't find anything that could sway you one way or another.

The news articles say he's some sort of local hero - not only for being a lawyer who does a lot of pro-bono work but for saving a man from being hit by a truck when he was a kid. They all give his tragic backstory before praising him and his law partner for helping the underprivileged and going after some big shot corrupt businessman - twice. The comments are mostly from people he's helped, singing about how Nelson and Murdock saved them in their times of crisis. 

You want to trust them, but you can't.

The news also claimed Hitler was Person of the Year and deserved praise, too, and you know how that turned out. Not that you think a blind lawyer from Hell's Kitchen can be compared to a genocidal leader, but your mental point to yourself still stands. 

You know nothing about Matthew Murdock except he's blind, he's a lawyer, and his dick changed your life. 

You doubt he even remembers you - a one-night stand from years ago, before his name even started appearing in the news again, and to be fair, you didn't remember him at first, either. Not until four months later when you went in to get your anxiety medication adjusted and the doctor made you take a routine pregnancy test. Then you remembered the handsome blind lawyer who flirted with you at a friend's holiday party you had gone to. You could remember the silly conversation you had about white elephant, that he had the most charming smile, and he could do things with his tongue that made you moan just thinking about, but you could not remember his name. 

You had tried to find him, you really did, but your energy and attention was quickly needed elsewhere and the search for your daughter's father lost steam.

Until you saw him on the television while at the local diner, giving an interview with his law partner. 

That was yesterday and now you are standing outside the door of his firm, trying to work up the courage to go in. 

There's too many scenarios in your head, all of them bad- he's not going to want anything to do with you and your daughter, which you can deal with, or maybe, just maybe, he'll try to take her away from you. He's a lawyer and you work in billing for a transportation company. There's no doubt who the courts would choose and it wouldn't be you. 

The thought makes you want to turn and run but you know your daughter deserves the chance to know her father - and he deserves to know she exists. It's his choice, once he knows, if he wants to be in her life or not, not yours. 

It scares you so much it's not your choice. 

You scrub at your face, trying to work up the courage to actually open the door in front of you when it does just that. 

A kind looking woman with strawberry blonde hair is standing in the doorway and you recognize her from the firm's website - Karen Page. She's the third partner in the firm and you didn't really look into her in your hunt for information. 

She offers you a smile before speaking, "You look like you're debating coming in." You shrug, unsure what to say because that is exactly what you were doing but don't want to admit it. She looks you over without it feeling judgmental before focusing on the manila envelope in your hand. She steps back slightly and gestures for you to come into the office. "You made it this far. Whatever it is, we'll do our best to help you."

The sentiment is so kind and you know she means well, thinking you are a potential client, but it just causes your throat to get even tighter. 

It has been you and your daughter for so long, is this really the right path to take? 

You hug your file to your chest and take a hesitant step forward. Then another and another until you are in the office. It's not big or fancy and you didn't expect it to be. There's a little waiting area in front of the reception desk, with another desk shoved against a wall, and on either side of the room, doors leading to what you suspect are the private offices. 

Karen goes around to the back of the reception desk and picks up a clipboard holding some paperwork and offers it out to you.

You take it and stare down at it, unsure if you would fill it out or not. When you look back up, Karen is still smiling at you and you don't want to come off as a problem, so you take a seat in the waiting area and start filling out the requested information. As you write out your address, it finally occurs to you that you have no idea how to have the conversation you need to have.

Do you ease into it or drop it on him like a bomb? You had only ever thought about finding him and never about what you would say when you did.

You should have taken more time to plan this out. You're such an idiot - you just jumped right into running towards him like you might lose track of him if you took so much as a second to think. You know his name now, who he is, you can take time to get things sorted out properly.

Would it be weird to leave in the middle of filling out paperwork you shouldn't even be bothering with?

Probably not, but you're already here. There is no point in running. 

This is for your daughter, not you. You have to keep telling yourself that.

You don't fill out the information asking about your 'case'. It honestly makes you panic a bit if you start thinking about it all in a legal sense - you know nothing about law and the man you're meeting with graduated at the top of his class from a top law school. Your hand is shaking as you add your signature to the bottom of the page and date it. Reviewing everything takes just a moment, since there's barely anything written to begin with, and your eyes drift up to the logo at the top of the page.

Nelson, Murdock, and Page.

You trace it with your finger.

Matthew Murdock has to be a good man. This firm helps people and he wouldn't be here if he didn't want to help people. He graduated top of his class; he could work anywhere he wanted to. The papers said he is good, too - they win most of their cases. 

Unless it's all a weird front to hide something like money laundering. 

But if they were money launders wouldn't they have enough money to afford an air conditioner? 

"All done?" 

Karen is in front of you, smiling politely. You are surprised by her appearance, but you don't feel pressured. It's like she's checking in so that she can break you out of your thoughts and you appreciate that. You nod and hand her the clipboard. She takes it, giving it a once over.

"Foggy will be out in just a minute."

Your head jerks up at that.

"No, I need to see Mr. Murdock."

You can tell Karen is surprised by that and her eyes narrow just a fraction. She searches your face, then she looks towards the door on the left. 

You turn your head to follow her gaze. 

"Matt!" Karen calls out.

A few moments pass before the door opens and you feel like you're going to throw up. 

The cameras don't do him justice. 

Matthew Murdock is gorgeous. He was handsome before and somehow, he just got hotter. He's a little taller than you, still as lean as you remember, and looking crisp in a gray suit - like some model walked off the catwalk and into a sweltering office. His hair is shorter than you remember it being. You have the distinct memory of being able to grab onto it, but it's too cropped to do that now.

But the thing that catches your attention the most is that in person and in the light, you can see Matthew's hair has an auburn tint to it.

Just like Minnie's. 

The realization shakes your entire world. 

This man is the father of your child. He's real. He's no longer a concept of a person, who you knew nothing about, who just existed somewhere in the world. 

You have to look away before you start to cry. You don't know where this surge of emotion is coming from - it feels like this wave of relief. This question you have always had finally has an answer. 

You tell yourself to take a breath, you know getting overly emotional isn't going to help anything. It might actually make things worse and spiraling into a meltdown is not a good first impression.

You can see Karen in your peripheral vision, and you look up to her, trying to regain your focus.

It's Matthew who speaks first, "Yes, Karen?"

"We have a walk-in who is hoping she can speak with you." 

You introduce yourself, standing up as you do. You know he is blind, so you don't offer your hand. Instead you clutch your folder to your chest. 

He doesn't seem to remember your name. He turns towards you and gives a polite smile. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Matthew Murdock, but you seem to know that. I have some time right now, please come in. Karen, can you grab us some water before you join us?"

"Yeah, sure," Karen says as she turns to do just that. 

Your throat gets tight again. 

You don't want to have this conversation with someone else there. It's already going to be hard enough. You'll definitely start crying if Karen is in the room. You cannot deal with two people's reactions. The mere thought of you having to do that is making you sweat. 

Matthew's voice breaks you out of your panic. "If that is okay?"

You rush out your response, "I would prefer to speak alone, please." You're too panicked to feel embarrassment. 

Karen doesn't seem phased by this. She is still grabbing a couple of bottles of water from the fridge and offering one out to you. You take it. 

"Not a problem, let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks, Kare. Please, come this way," Matthew motions for you to follow him into the office. 

This is it.

Once you go through that door, you aren't leaving that room without telling Matthew Murdock he is a father. 

You surprise yourself by not hesitating and just charging forward into the office. 

This isn't about you or your fears. 

This is for Minnie. 

You keep your gaze forward because you can't bring yourself to look at him. If you stop and look at him before you tell him why you are here, you will just start over analyzing everything once again. You silently beg to whatever gods will listen that everything will be okay, and this man won't destroy you. 

He doesn't look like he is going to break your heart. 

But you know that looks mean nothing when it comes to pain. 

He closes the door behind you with an audible click and the weight of the moment starts to come down on your shoulders.

You take the seat in front of the desk quickly, worried your nerves might catch up with you, placing the water on the ground beside you with your purse when you sit. Matthew doesn't rush, he walks to his desk with an air of quiet confidence and if you were a client, it would be comforting, but you aren't and all it does is remind you why you fell into bed with him. 

"What brings you in today, Miss..?" He trails off, prompting you to say your name again. As he reaches his desk you watch as he trails his fingers along the edge, using it as a guide, before moving his hand to brush over the back of his seat before sitting in it. 

You chew your bottom lip, wishing you had taken a second to actually plan what you would say instead of jumping in. As far as you know, there isn't a step-by-step guide on how to tell a one-night stand that he's the father of your child - not that you actually looked into that in your desperate research the night before. 

Matthew doesn't push as you gather your thoughts. He moves some paperwork away from the center of his desk, then folds his hands there, waiting. You keep your gaze on his hands, needing something to focus your eyes on while you force the truth out.

"I saw your interview last night," you say, deciding to start there, as it seems the most relatable.

Matthew's brows knit together and he tilts his head to the side and you are one again reminded of Minnie. It's a gesture she does often, tilting her little head left and right as she tries to understand something. It always reminded you of a dog and now you wonder if it's not a learned behavior, but genetic. 

His lips turn down into a frown and his head stays cocked as he asks, "Do you have information about the Lynch case?"

Heat rushes to your cheeks - of course that would be the question to ask after bringing up the interview. The whole piece was about a specific case they were working on and how it would affect Hell's Kitchen and you hadn't paid any attention to what was said - not after you realized who was on the screen. 

You shake your head, resisting the urge to look away and you curl your fingers tighter around the manila folder in your lap. "No, I'm sorry. I saw you and…recognized you."

He straightens up and his demeanor shifts to something less…friendly. It's minute but your messed-up brain screams at you about body language - his shoulders have squared up and you can see where he's clenching his back teeth. You quickly continue on, wanting to get through with your explanation before your anxiety makes you clam up.

"We met nearly five years ago," your voice is firm and factual and you're proud of yourself for that, "at a holiday party." 

The words leave your mouth and you know he knows. Every part of him seems to go still - even his breathing seems to stop. The crease between his brow smoothes out, like he's gone from squinting to wide eyes behind his dark glasses. Your heart is pounding in your ears and your throat is getting stiff, but your voice remains steady as you push the words out.

"I think you are the father of my child."

All the color seems to leave Matthew's face and he looks nearly as gray as his suit. The reaction makes your stomach turn. He looks like he is going to throw up. 

You bite into your lip, waiting for Matthew to do or say something. All you can do is mentally chant to yourself: he's a good man, he won't take her away.

You know it's probably just seconds, but it feels like hours pass before Matthew moves.

He leans slowly back in his chair, reaching up with one hand to rub at his mouth. 

"Are you sure?"

He doesn't sound upset, at least to your ears. His words are cautious - tentative - and it makes your heart go tight in your chest. You don't know if it's fear or hope or everything crashing into you at once now that he knows.

You force out a nod before you remember that the man in front of you is blind. You find your voice and words creep out.

"I'm pretty sure," you start. Your eyes drop away from his hands back down to your lap and you have to lick at your lips to wet them before continuing, "I didn't go out much after that party, I got so busy with work. I didn't…find out until the first trimester was over. By then, I couldn't remember your name. My friends who I went to the party with didn't know you either. I tried to Google you with what information I had, but 'blind lawyer' just got me a lot of disability lawyers." You take a shaky breath, "I understand if you want a paternity test."

You know Matthew is probably taking everything in, but now that you've started talking, it's like you've lifted the dam on your anxiety. You squeeze the file in your lap - just because you hadn't known how you were going to tell Matthew the truth did not mean you hadn't extensively thought about the consequences. Words start to spill out of you.

"I also understand if you don't want anything to do with us, I get it's a big shock. I'm not looking for anything from you." Matthew drops his hand to the desk and if you didn't know better, it would look like he was staring at you. "I just wanted you to know and I thought it would be good for her to know you, but if you don't want that, I get it. All I ask is you fill out some paperwork, medical history mostly so I know if there's anything I need to look out for. I printed it out for you, it's all in braille." 

You get up just enough so that you can place the manila envelope on the desk, then sit back down. Your throat is getting so tight and stiff you feel like you're struggling to breathe. 

Matthew runs his hand over his desk until he can feel the envelope. His fingers move along the edge and you stare at them, like they are going to be the one to reveal what Matthew is thinking instead of his mouth. He finds the lip but doesn't open, instead flattening his palm against it.

"...her?"

His voice is so quiet you barely hear it. You lift your head to finally look at him and your heart skips a beat.

Matthew looks so soft. The corners of his lips twitch a few times before a smile slowly spreads across his face. 

And you know.

You know without a doubt he is your daughter's father. They have the exact same smile. You can't help but to grin as well. 

This is good, isn't it? He looks Happy. 

"I have a daughter.."

"Winifred.. Winifred Love," you offer. Matthew lifts his head and tilts it towards you, brow wrinkling slightly.

"Love…?" He asks, no judgment in his voice, only curiosity. 

You close your eyes in a bit of embarrassment, as you always do during the story, "I meant to put Grace, but I was out of it. I even put a big heart next to it on the paperwork." You aren't ashamed of the story and you love your daughter's name, but it's always a 'oops I was high' moment, even if it was done with the purest intention. 

If possible, Matthew's smile gets even bigger. 

"Winifred Love," he says, his voice dropping back down to the barely there whisper. 

"She goes by Minnie. Like, um.. Like Minnie Mouse," you say. That gets an amused yet fond chuckle. You find yourself relaxing at the noise - like some of the pressure squeezing on your lungs has been lifted and you can finally breathe. 

He repeats her nickname and you feel your lips start to turn up. 

"How old..?" His voice cracks with emotion and Matthew has to clear his throat before continuing, "how old is she?"

"Three and a half," you answer quickly, "her birthday is a few months away." You bite your lip then hesitantly add, "She wants to go to the zoo. It's all she talks about."

"Yeah?" Matthew prompts. His smile is so so soft and it makes your stomach turn in this pleasant way. However, you were expecting him to act, this is not it. In your heart, you think the best you were going for was acceptance, but this seems much more than that. There is a stinging in the corner of your eyes and you have to take your own steadying breath continuing on.

"Yeah, um.. She…likes maps right now. I got her a map to the zoo and she's got the whole day planned." Which is very much true - your coffee table has been the home of a makeshift zoo diorama for a little over a week now and the itinerary has changed about twenty times. 

 Matthew ducks his head and nods a little, taking all the information in. You squeeze your fingers in your lap, needing a way to release the nerves still buzzing inside you. 

A few moments pass before Matthew clears his throat again, "What else does she like..?"

The question makes you chuckle just a little bit, only because gushing about your daughter is something you're very good at. Since you work at home, it is just the two of you ninety percent of the time, you don't get to coo over her very often.

"She loves arts and crafts - anything she can get her little hands on. Right now she loves pipe cleaners and paper, things she can bend and fold, you know? I set her next to me while working and she'll just fold paper into little shapes. Not origami or anything, just abstract things, she doesn't plan it. She always wants to help, too, whatever I'm doing. Cooking and cleaning. She is the best helper for grocery shopping." You pause, looking over Matthew's smile for a moment before continuing on, tears starting to gather in your eyes.

 "She looks just like you," you admit, fondness clear in your voice because it is so so true. Now that you are properly looking at him, Minnie looks just like Matthew, and telling him that makes him light up even more. "You've got the same smile. The same hair. Hers is a little more red, but it's definitely from you."

You watch Matthew lick at his lips and you want to know what is going on in his head. You think everything is going well, even if you are on the verge of crying. They are tears of relief - relief you weren't told to fuck off or to go get your own lawyer. You don't fully know if Matthew Murdock is a good man, but you're over the first hurdle and the prospects are looking good. 

Matthew leans back into his chair, inhaling deeply, as if centering himself, then asks, "Why now? Why find me now?"

"Like I said, I couldn't find you, I didn't know anything about you, really, except what you looked like and you were a lawyer. I did try, I really did, but…" you trail off with a shrug, "I had a newborn."

Matthew seems to accept that answer - it is the truth after all - and continues on, "But you saw the interview... Last night?"

You nod, "I was picking up some dinner and they were playing the news at the diner. I saw it and looked you up and now…now you know."

"Now I know…" Matthew repeats slowly, his smile dropping a little and you wonder if is hitting him in different waves, like it did you - the realization he is a father. You know it is an intense roller coaster and you are not going to try to guide his ride, especially after just kind of dropping it on him. 

He taps the manila folder in front of him, the crease returning to his brow, "What is this?"

Your cheeks get hot again and you turn your gaze away from him and back to your lap, "Requests for family medical history and information about how to establish paternity, if that's what you want."

"It is," Matthew rushes out. Your head jerks up and his expression looks serious, "I want that. I want to be in her life."

He sounds so sure of himself that it makes your head spin a little. You built up in your mind he either wouldn't want anything to do with you and Minnie or he was going to try to take her away - you hadn't really considered the obvious option that Matthew would just want to be involved. At least, that is what you are hoping he is implying. 

"I won't abandon my daughter," the conviction in his voice startles you, but it also makes your heart twist but in a good way because in that moment, you believe him. "And I won't abandon you. I used to question if I had the right to bring a child into my life, but this isn't a hypothetical anymore…. And I can't.." he trails off and leans back into his chair, rubbing at his mouth again. You don't press, you have no right to when you've come out of the blue and changed his entire world. He takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I can't step away now that I know she is out there." 

You quickly shake your head at his words, "You don't need to rush into anything, I mean it, I don't want anything from you but for you to have the chance to know her. We can go slow, she's still little, you know? She can't handle a big change. Start small?"

You're more worried about how he is feeling versus what you are. You have at least prepared yourself to have a reaction - he thought he would be having a normal work day and you've given him a lot to process in the last five minutes. 

"We can go at your pace, Matthew."

He drops his hand from his face, a smile coming back to his face, "You can call me Matt."

You repeat your preferred name, then apologize, "I'm sorry for coming out of nowhere. I didn't want to lose track of you again, but I could have scheduled an appointment."

Matt shakes his head a little, "No, I get it." His hand goes back to the envelope, like touching it is grounding him like squeezing your fingers is grounding you. "I'm glad you came…I'm glad…thank you. Thank you for telling me." 

Part of you wants to reach across the desk and squeeze his hand, to give him comfort and let him know everything will be okay, but you don't dare. He's still a stranger, despite everything. You decide pushing past the emotional to the practical might be the best approach for now. You need to get your anxiety to settle now that you know your world isn't going to end and the best thing for that, in your mind, is getting an action plan. 

"I don't know what the steps are for doing this," you start, trying to think up ideas as you talk, "but I think maybe we could…get together again and plan things out? Give you time to adjust to the idea and let you think about how you want to move forward?"

Matt nods along with your words, "That sounds like a good idea." 

You bend down to grab your phone out of your purse, "I put my contact information in the packet, but could I get yours?" 

He waits until you are ready, then gives you his personal number then the office number. You do the quick song and dance of calling his phone, so that he has your number and you wait patiently as he adds you as a contact. Hearing the voice commands to navigate a phone is new to you and once he is done putting in your information, you let your curiosity get the better of you.

"Do you prefer texting or phone calls?"

"Phone calls would be preferable," Matt says as he sets his phone on his desk, having held it up to speak clearly into it, "I have text to speech but it's not always the easiest for texting." 

You nod in understanding, "Got it." You squirm in your seat, unsure of what comes next, so you say the very first thing that comes to mind. "You can call anytime. I work from home so you don't have to worry about interrupting anything…like I'm doing with you."

He hums, then asks, "What does Minnie do during the day?" 

"She stays with me, mostly. There's a daycare down the block she goes to if I need someone to watch her. That's where she is now."

That makes Matt frown just slightly and part of you panics that he disapproves. "Is it just the two of you…?"

"Yes." 

You say it with confidence. You've worked hard to get where you are alone and despite all you've been through, you are proud of that. "My parents passed when I was in college and I don't have any siblings. We've managed to do pretty well on our own. It's not the biggest, but we have a little place in Chelsea."

The little frown stays and you don't know what it means - you hope it's over you not having a big support system and not something else. Matt looks like he is going to respond but a knock at the door cuts him off. You jump at the noise, having totally forgotten there were other people in the office. 

Matt looks slightly annoyed when he calls out, "Yes?"

The door opens and the final partner for the law firm is there. "Pardon the intrusion," he says to you with a nod before addressing Matt, "They've got that guy from last week at the 15th. He's asking for us specifically."

Matt openly scowls before running a hand over his face, "Okay. Give me a few minutes."

Foggy nods before stepping back out and closing the door.

"I'm sorry," Matt says sheepishly.

You cut him off before he can say more, standing as you do, "Please don't be, I really did just barge in on you at work. I can call you later? Or you can call me?" 

Matt gets up as well, starting to come around the desk, "I can call you." He hesitates just a second, then ducks his chin, that little smile reappearing and your heart does that funny flip again. "Maybe we can get lunch?"

You smile back, "I would like that. We can start planning." You bite your bottom lip, then add, "I can bring Minnie…?"

Matt's entire face lights up and the awkwardness of trying to end your talk evaporates. "I would like that. A lot." He motions to his desk, "I'll work on getting that back to you. I want to…I want to do this right." 

"I do, too." 

It feels like a promise. You want to believe Matt - that he wants this and won't disappear at the first minor inconvenience. You've read so many horror stories about bad parents and you don't want any of that for Minnie. 

You grab your purse and the water Karen gave you, then finally give Matt a proper look over. 

You enjoyed your night together with him. Not only had he been a phenomenal lover, but he had made you smile and laugh. You weren't nearly as anxious then as you are now, but you had been rather nervous being flirted with by a handsome lawyer and he had made you feel at ease. Bringing him home with you had been an easy choice. 

He must sense you smiling somehow, maybe you giggled or something, but his smile, which had started to fall, brightens back up.

"Can I ask you something before you go?" 

You nod to his question, catch yourself and reply, "Of course."

"Can you tell me what she looks like?"

Guilt courses through you and biting your lip turns painful, "I'm so sorry, of course. Um, I included pictures in the packet with descriptions but, of course." His face drops into something a little nervous so you launch into the description of your daughter, emphasizing how they have the same smile because you can’t get over that. You can't help yourself and start describing some of the pictures you included.

"She has this big noise canceling headband so she can sleep comfortably - she doesn't like loud noises - but because she is three, she refuses to wear it unless it's cute. So we crochet little sleeves for it. One of the pictures is her asleep on our couch, face down, because that's how she sleeps, wearing her favorite sleeve. It's Spider-Man the-"

There's a quick series of taps on the door before it opens again.

"Buddy, we gotta go."

You start to apologize, but Matt speaks over you, his voice a little firm as his expression drops, "I'll be right there, Foggy."

A silent conversation seems to go through them, as Foggy raises his eyebrows at Matt and Matt does the same right back. Foggy steps out of the office, closing the door behind him. 

"Let me walk you out?" Matt asks, motioning to the door.

"Thank you." 

You let him open the door and you follow him into the reception office. Foggy is looking at his phone while waiting by Karen's desk as she finishes packing her laptop. You cross the room in silence as Matt leads you from the office. Once you are in the hallway, he speaks to you in a soft voice.

"Can I call you tonight?"

"Yes, please." 

"Does eight work?"

"That's perfect." 

"I'll talk to you then."

You force yourself to be the one to turn away and start walking towards the stairs. As you get to them, you pull your bottom lip between your teeth to try to suppress your smile.

Maybe the papers are right and Matthew Murdock is a good man. 

You really hope he's a good father too.

[koolades-world]

More Obey me! Headcannons

had so much fun last time I wanted to do it again

Satan is so smart, but has issues doing basic math and refuses to admit it, like he can’t figure out fifteen plus seven without his fingers or a calculator (is this me projecting? maybe)

Belphie bought himself and Mc matching house slippers. Mc thought Beel felt left out and made Belphie buy a pair for him too

Beel has a huge green thumb, and takes upon himself to save plants he thinks are sad or lonely. He buys the dying plants from the store to bring back to life (partially inspired by the chat where someone, forgot who, told beel that if he talked to plants they would grow faster my precious baby)

Lucifer is the best cook at the HoL, but rarely has time to cook. Beel is the second best but usually eats the ingredients before he can make anything with them. Mammon is probably the worst because Levi can make food from animes almost perfectly

Asmo once almost set a store he was collaborating with on fire with his rage alone because they spelt his name wrong

Beel probably needs a new toothbrush every couple weeks. Belphie probably gets toothbrushes mixed up and uses ones that aren’t his

Lucifer and Solomon like prune juice haha old men

The one thing Luke and Simeon have seriously disagreed on is if raisins belong in dessert. Michael likes them, so Luke does too. Simeon thinks they’re awful but never directly says it, so Lucifer usually says it for him

Despite always being online, Levi had not once checked his RAD email. He has 9,999+ emails, probably a lot more because 9,999 is where it stops counting

Mammon collects cool rocks and keeps them in a box under his bed

Satan’s hands are always freezing, so he sticks them under Mc (or a cat) when possible, or uses a charmed hot water bottle from Solomon that stays warm for days at a time

Solomon and Asmo have had matching bracelet sets for as long as they’ve known each other, and since they didn’t make them anymore, they got some custom done for Mc so they could also have them

For about 1,000 years, Thirteen though jelly beans were an actual kind of bean and Solomon never let her let it go

The first food Mc and Mammon ate on a date in the human world together was Taiyaki, so he made it a point to learn how to make them to surprise Mc (even though he’s a terrible cook) (I might make this a fic since I like this idea so much)

Diavolo has always wanted a Devildom version of a hamster but Barbatos refused to have any kind of rodent in the castle, rat or not

Luke probably downloads those stupid app games with the ads unironically

Satan’s favorite Disney Princess is Ariel because she ran off to do what she wanted without caring what her father thought, it’s giving daddy issues. He’s probably considered running off and marrying Mephisto to make Lucifer angry

Raphael unironically enjoys off brand chips and soda

Lucifer is a nail biter, and Asmo is helping him curve the habit by putting a nasty tasting top coat when he does his nails, and it’s also why he wears gloves all the time.

Belphie and Satan once went up to the humans world together to mess with people in Salem, Massachusetts with magic, which spawned several conspiracy theory books. They read them together and laugh as a past time

Diavolo once went to the human world in his demon form for,, reasons, and accidentally got written into ancient mythology because he got spotted by humans

Barbatos had a home garden for cooking and sometimes lets Asmo have leaves from some of the plants to make homemade skin care products

Mammon probably has lots of earwax. Don’t share your earbuds with him unless you make him clean them afterwards

Belphie has a really large water bottle that’s always on his side table. He wakes up randomly though the night, chugs an ungodly amount of water and then passed out again. In the mornings he has to piss really bad but is too lazy to get up and actually do it, so he just sits and complains. Even Beel isn’t sure how he’s able to drink that much water in a short amount of time

Satan likes waking up early to enjoy the morning air and read outside for a while since mornings can get hectic with his brothers

Thirteen’s favorite torture device is the Iron Maiden. She had her own that she bedazzled. Even Asmo is jealous and wants her to make him one too

Mammon introduced Diavolo to Gatorade, and instead of sneaking behind Lucifer and Barbatos’s backs to drink Demonus, they have secret Gatorade meetings

Diavolo and Lucifer definitely both had a hidden Dialuci stash of things and probably clash trying to collect limited edition things online

None of the Obey me cast took birthdays or passing of years seriously until Mc entered the picture and suddenly time was precious, and they actually kept track. Because of this, nobody is really sure how old the twins are

Mephisto thinks roosters want world domination

Asmo thinks cilantro tastes like soap and Levi thinks anything cola flavored tastes like cough medicine

Mammon's favorite party trick is one Mc taught him, which is rolling his tongue Everyone he meets, including his brothers, thinks it's so cool when really it's just a genetic thing

[radiansjort]

The Minyards’ and Hemmicks’ Names

I don’t think I’ve seen anyone point this out, but it was one of the first things I noticed when I read the books; Andrew, Aaron, and Nicky all have Biblical/Catholic names. It makes sense because Luther and presumably Tilda are Catholic, but their Biblical names also correspond with who they are as characters.

Andrew: In the Bible, he is one of Jesus’ 12 Apostles. He was brother to Simon Peter, who was Jesus’ closest Appstle. The name Andrew itself means “strong” and “warrior,” and in the books Neil narrates how strong he finds Andrew; we can also see him as a warrior when he protects Nicky especially as well as the other Monsters.

Joseph: There are 2 Josephs in the Bible and both fit Andrew’s character. The first is Joseph the father of Jesus on earth. He was seen as the ultimate protector because he protected the Holy Family and followed God’s call to stay with Mary. He protected Jesus from being killed as an infant by taking him and Mary to Egypt shortly after his birth. Obviously, Andrew is very much a protector. He is very protective of all the Monsters and frequently called a “mom friend” in the fandom. The other Joseph, is Joseph son of Jacob (Israel). He was the favorite son of his 12 brothers, and all of the brothers were jealous. Because of this, they leave him in a ditch and sell him as a slave to the Egyptians. As a slave, he works his way up the ranks to become the Pharaoh’s adviser because he can interpret dreams. Eventually during the famine, his brothers and father come to Egypt in hopes of finding food, and Joseph forgives them for selling him off. There is obviously the similarities of complicated brother relationships which is very much Andrew and Aaron, but I say he also relates to this because Joseph reconciles with his brothers, and post canon Andrew and Aaron begin to reconcile and really have a relationship with one another.

Aaron: In the Bible, Aaron is the brother of Moses and a high priest among the Israelites. He helps them along their journey to the Promised Land. One of the most notable things he does is while Moses is on Mt Sinai, he builds a golden calf for the Israelites to worship. When Moses sees this, he gets so angry and upset that he smashes the Ten Commandments and has to climb the mountain to receive them again. I see this as Aaron (Aaron) and Andrew (Moses) and their early relationship. After their deal is made, Aaron doesn’t understand the significance of this and instead goes against what they agreed to (kind of like—> Aaron and Moses were both priests and dedicated to God and Aaron went against that with the idol) and it almost reflects how Aaron beings to go against their deal.

Michael: Michael the Archangel is the warrior and protector of the Church, and he is the one who directly opposes Satan and defeats him. I see it as pretty fitting, because in the end, who is it that kills Drake?

I find the twins names so very fitting because not only do they relate to their characters, every one of them in the Bible had a brother. (If you count the other Archangels as Michael’s “brothers.”)

Unlike the twins, Nicky’s names are not the names of Biblical figures, but instead of Catholic saints.

Nicholas: St. Nicholas was known for his generosity, as he gave his wealth to the poor. And probably what he’s most known for, he gave gifts to the poor at night inside their shoes. (Which brought about the story of Santa Claus). I think this fits Nicky well, as he gave everything he had to the twins. He gave up living a normal teenage life to instead not go to school and instead work 3 jobs to keep him and the twins all afloat. Also more obvious, St. Nicholas is the patron saint of children and known as the protector of them. That very obviously relates to Nicky as he protects and cares for the twins.

Esteban: The English equivalent of Esteban is “Stephan,” and St. Stephan is known as the first martyr. He is actually mentioned in the bible, but doesn’t appear on page. He refused to denounced the Catholic faith, so he was stoned to death. This is similar to Nicky because Nicky again gave up everything for the twins, and he was the first person to really give everything he had for these two.

[voidcanarys]

Blue Lock Fic Recs

I’ve been meaning to make one of these for a while now. I truly cannot state how much I enjoyed these fics so if a few, or even just one, stands out to you, please give it a shot. I’ve split the list into three sections, kaisagi, bachisagi and miscellaneous but I have wayyyy more fics so I’ll probs make at least a part 2, maybe a part 3.

KAISAGI

I Pay the Price, You’re the Answer to the Pain by yasuna

Teen | Completed | 42.8k words | 8/8

Romantic Hate-Flirting | Homophobia In Football | Angst | Character Study | Developing Romance

It's been one kiss. One kiss that didn't mean shit. But captured by the cameras and broadcasted for the entire world to see, it has the potential to end both of their careers right then and there.

Kaiser and Isagi navigating the world of football whilst staring on a reality tv show. The banter between Isagi and Kaiser is so fun and I love the incorporation of real life events and controversies.

Oat Milk (and Other Irredeemable Vices) by @caluette

Teen | Completed | 26.5k words | 3/3

AU - Coffee Shops & Cafés | AU - No Blue Lock | Enemies to Lovers | Getting Together

Yoichi Isagi works at a coffee shop on campus, and likes to believe he has the virtue of being patient with the people he encounters. He does not, however, file Michael Kaiser under "people." Or, the coffee shop au where they hate each other. Until they don't.

So cute. Dramatic musical theatre major Kaiser and fed up minimum wage worker Isagi. Brilliant characterisation. Love the dialogue between Kaiser and Isagi and their snarky-ness.

Kintsukuroi by laylayli

Mature | Completed | 54.3k words | 3/3

Processing Grief | Kaiser-Centric | Mending Relationships | It starts Bad But Gets Better

'“Kaiser,” he starts to say, “I’m sorry if I’m overstepping, but are you really okay?” And he’s not sure, even afterwards, what it is that makes this his breaking point. Whether it’s the fact that he’s so far away from home, feeling like he’s unmoored himself from reality in this surreal, unfamiliar place, or whether he’s just so tired, so defenceless without the fire burning through him and its fumes obscuring the things he does not want to handle. He’s not sure, if it’s because Isagi is the farthest thing from a friend or the closest thing he has to familiarity right now, but he hears himself say, “My father died,” out loud, for the first time since he got the news.' * sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you have been ruined - ocean vuong

Kaiser meeting the Isagi family and learning how to accept help and kindness. Love Kaiser internal dialogue throughout the fic and the constant push and pull between enjoying his time with Isagi and his parents but hating how it reminds him of his own familial relationships, or lack there-of. (Ness and his relationship with Kaiser is also a highlight)

BACHISAGI

Like glass from Sandy Ground by Ethereally & @putsch

Teen | Completed | 7.2k words | 1/1

Aromatic Asexual Isagi Yoichi | Pre-Relationship | Getting Together | Post-Canon

Isagi and Bachira have been best friends for eight years, and pro footballers for six. Isagi knows how Bachira takes his coffee and how many charms are on his phone, is reminded of Bachira when he sees sunflowers or nutmeg in the spice shelf. Bachira can trace every freckle on Isagi’s cheeks and count the moles on his back like constellations in the sky. Isagi and Bachira are not together.

I truly cannot emphasise more how much this fic means to me. I have read it at least 6 times and have cried every. single. time. There’s a specific quote that sends me into tears anytime I think about it (I’m tearing up as I write this). It’s such heartwarming, comforting and beautifully written fic.

Orange Juice by totallyrottentomatoes

Mature | Ongoing | 63.6k words | 5/10

Post-Canon | AU - Olympics | Slow Burn | Unreliable Narrator | Angst with a Happy Ending | Implied/Referenced Homophobia

Isagi Yoichi returns to Japan in preparation for the summer Olympics for the first time in three years, and Meguru finds him again.

The pining is so strong aughhh. Love the incorporation of the original characters. My favouite type of post-canon fic where life gets in the way but the love never leaves.

Sideline Love Story by bogreport

Explicit | Ongoing | 55.6k words | 8/29

AU - No Blue Lock | Most Characters Are Professional Soccer Players | Slow Burn | Feelings Realization | Parenting | Light Angst |

While visiting his family in Japan during the off-season, 25-year-old Bastard München player Isagi "volunteers" to coach his nephew's U-6 team. Enter: the most high-maintenance crew of soccer dads ever to make a scene on the sidelines. Although one of the kids has an older brother who Isagi wouldn't mind getting to know better... Meanwhile Bachira, his arm and his heart both freshly broken, tries to convince himself that while love is fleeting, his monster is forever.

Eeek the kids are so cute in this fic. Isagi being head over heels and not realising it. Bachira developing a crush but hesitating to persue it having just gotten out of a relationship. The author mentions that the “fic's original brainrot form, it was more like a sitcom with an ensemble cast and short silly ‘episodes’ rather than a coherent story” which makes for really fun chapter and a real long slow burn feel.

MISC

Whipper!! by bigdamnher0

Bachira Meguru/Isagi Yoichi/Itoshi Rin

Teen | Ongoing | 15.5k words | 3/6

Bachisagi Are Childhood Friends | Angst and Hurt/Comfort | Climbing As A Metaphor for Self-Actualization or Self-Destruction (Take Your Pick) | Injury | Mild PTSD

Isagi was getting used to the shape of Rin's attention: How he jammed his fingers into Bachira’s back whenever his spine sagged without tension. Barked, “WRONG,” every time they made a move that wasn’t his exact flavor of climbing. Called Isagi’s latest boulder, “fucking lukewarm,” like he was some kind of underpaid undersecretary, delivering him coffee for the day. Still, Rin never failed to hold up his end of the bargain in this tenuous belaytionship: to show them some damn good climbing. The little flame in Isagi’s chest was back. It licked him black and blue. After a near-fatal climbing accident, Rin resolved to never fail again. Isagi swore he'd take the wind out of this pretty boy's sails. And Bachira? All he wanted was a soft landing, just this once. Going up and growing up; cord of threes and all.

Rinbachisagi and bouldering/rock climbing, what more could you want. The way the author writes is so captivating and such an easy read despite all the technical terms used.

I’ll Find my Own Bravado by cygnusknights

Bachira Meguru/Isagi Yoichi/Itoshi Rin

Teen | Completed | 9.6k words | 1/1

Post-Canon | Existential Crisis on a Christmas Cruise | Isagi Yoichi & Itoshi Sae | Isagi-Centric

Meguru and Rin are hooking up. And Isagi… doesn’t hate it, but he’ll certainly have an existential crisis about it on the trio’s Mediterranean Christmas cruise, where he runs into Sae and has a weird holiday not-hookup.

The platonic saesagi is definitely the star of the show. The small Oikawa cameo was also very funny.

Despite the Overwhelming Odds, Tomorrow Came by @icarianiscariot

Itoshi Rin & Shidou Ryuusei

Teen | Completed | 19.7k words | 5/5

AU - No Blue Lock | Suicidal Thoughts | Depression | Platonic Relationships | Absent/Neglectful Parents | Angst with a Happy Ending

"Rin," Shidou repeats. "Where are you?" "I'm—" and fuck, it's so embarrassing, isn't it? The Sae in his head sneers at how lukewarm and pathetic this all is. Begging for someone to ask him to live. "Um, I'm at the bay, up on the bridge. "Silence for a few beats, and then he can hear the clink of Shidou's ridiculously oversized keychain, followed by the slam of the door and his car coming to life on the other end of the line. Rin isn't okay, and the only person he can think to turn to is his shitty brother's annoying boyfriend. A fic on platonic bonds, little things that make big differences, learning compassion toward both others and the self, and coming to terms with being alive. More or less.

A certified Blue Lock classic in my opinion. A must-read even!

On a Wire by merulus

Karasu Tabito/Otoya Eita

Teen | Completed | 128.3k words | 22/22

AU - College/University | Getting Together | Panic Attacks | Fluff & Humour | Trans Karasu Tabito

As a junior in college pursuing his passion for soccer while also putting just as much focus into having a solid post-graduation career path, Tabito Karasu honestly thought he wouldn't have enough time for romance. And especially given how his last relationship had ended, he wasn't even sure he would be able to deal with that kind of stress; he wasn't exactly a fan of letting someone in just to get hurt by them. He would rather stay on track to graduating with honors even if it meant being alone. But somehow that goddamned Eita Otoya was able to sneak his way through all of his defenses, painfully securing a place in his heart. They had been both roommates and teammates since the beginning of freshman year, and by now they also had easily solidified themselves as each other's best friend. They recently moved into an on-campus apartment with their other friend Kenyuu Yukimiya, and life was good. Karasu happened to have feelings for Otoya, but he had had this affliction for the better half of two years so it was something he was unfortunately just trying to get used to. He tried to ignore it most of the time since Otoya didn't feel the same; he was straight. Sometimes it really didn't feel that way, though.

Part 2 of a series but it can be read alone (definitely read part 1 if you enjoyed this tho)

[pocket-raven]

What's this au you speak of? Can we hear more about it? 👀

👀 You mean my radioapple murder husband au? One moment *screams into the void* YES YES

Okay, So where do I start? Well it does have a name: It's the Foresaken Lovers Au, so any further posts will refer to it as that. If I write it up however, it will have a different name. Haven't figured it out yet though. Anyways some basic details that i wish i could draw because then people might be more interested but for now you get my rambles instead.

Lucifer and Alastor grow up together in New Orleans. Think Tiana and Lottie from Princess and the Frog. But there is a few differences. Like the obvious racism from Lucifer's family/others around them.

Infact Cecelia (Alastor's mum) tells Alastor (who's like.. 5 when he and Lucifer first meet). Not to get too upset if Lucifer doesn't send him any letters.

Also Alastor and Lucifer are essentially childhood sweethearts in this tbh.

Lucifer is pretty much raised by Michael. Michael was a little shit/got into a lot of trouble so the family was like "You can look after your baby brother now" to teach him responsibility

This unfortunately leads to Lucifer actually be infantilized his entire life. Only Alastor and Cecelia treat him like a person and not some delicate Doll.

Now not spoiling the entire plot yet lol. But basically they grow up together. Kind of.

I really don't want to spoil much unless more people ask. But Lucifer is actually the first to kill someone. And doesn't bat an eye when he finds Alastor stabbing his father's body repeatedly. Infact Lucifer gets everything cleaned up and tells Alastor how to dump the body.

They have their first kiss after they dump his body in the bayou-

They don't actually start killing till Cecelia passes away and Alastor is at his breaking point.

Alastor kills, Lucifer cleans up. Thats it. Their both cannibals too

They both die within a week or two of eachother, but don't find eachother for a few months, nearly a year.

Vaggie fell to hell years before Alastor died. So she and Charlie are in a relationship and have opened the hotel already. Charlie is also just Liliths daughter. But they are the reason Alastor and Lucifer find eachother again

I can't think of anything else right now and this is already long, so I'll stop right here. And hope more people are interested lol

[catmomjudy]

There were lots of posts over Father’s Day about Buck and Bobby’s father/son relationship (with the 911onabc Instagram actually presenting them as father and son alongside the more traditional father/child relationships on the show).

Bobby has been pretty much acknowledged as Buck’s “Dad Who Stepped Up” in canon:

(GIFs: @neverevan, @kenneth-black) I collected this info for a reblog I did the other day, but I figured it was deserving of its own (expanded) post.

Up until 6x11, Buck and Bobby’s relationship was fairly accepted but never stated outright. Fans accepted it as part of the “family you choose” vibe of 9-1-1 (as stated outright by Eddie in 3x11). But many signs were pointed out (similar to the way fans point out hints in the relationship between Buck and Eddie):

The way Bobby gives Buck chance after chance, right from the start (1x01), going back and forth between compassion and “tough love”

The way Buck gets under Bobby’s skin—“I made you mad” as Coma-Buck says in 06x11—when he’s doing his best to keep everyone away (S1)

Bobby helping Buck learn to tie a tie (1x06)

The way Bobby jumps on a suicide bomber to save Buck (2x18)

Bobby’s extreme and emotional reactions during the lawsuit arc (S3a).

Et cetera, et cetera.

But what about Athena?

I often see “Athena being Buck’s mom” on lists of things that make people DNR a fic. And I get it: Some fics push it to the point of overt mush, and also tend to be the same fics that woobify Buck (who, as I’ve posted before, is a real, live Adult). And “mush” and Athena Grant don’t really jive.

But I think something “Athena is not Buck’s mom” complainants also forget is that Athena is BOBBY’S WIFE. And she seems to be fully cognizant of how Bobby feels about Buck. So, she quite often makes efforts to support and nurture that relationship.

And Athena rocks the step-mom vibe with Buck pretty well. It’s just more subtle (kind of like it was with Bobby until 6x11, as outlined above):

(Gif: @neverevan, @mattoidmeerkat)

7x03: Why Buck? Why does she specify “Buck” in this instant, if it’s not to imply “If your boy could see you now!”

3x14: This is one instance (I think the dumpster diving with Taylor in 4x11 is the other, and there may be more that I’m not remembering), but, just like with Bobby and Michael, Athena has that “Mom Radar” going and has a habit of catching Buck up to no good. And that look isn’t “Cop Face.” It’s classic “Mom Glare” with a side of “I’m Very Disappointed In You Young Man.”

(Gif: @mattoidmeerkat; Photo: Official still)

6x11: Athena is the only one other than Chris who gets to give a true speech to Coma Buck. The step-mom and the step-son.

2x10: Buck at family Christmas dinner at Athena’s house. And remember that Hen was/is Athena’s best female friend, so Hen and Karen being there isn’t necessarily related to the firehouse. So, Buck has been invited to his captain’s fiancée’s house for Christmas dinner with his captain’s fiancée’s family.

And there’s more!

In 3x04 (the Dinner from Hell), Athena is the one to invite Buck:

Bobby: I still can't believe that you invited him without talking to me first.

Athena: I just wanted him to know that no matter what, he's still family. Thought dinner would give you two time to work things out.

And in 3x10, Athena is the one who Buck calls about the Christmas party. He obviously felt comfortable enough with her at this point to do that:

Bobby: Athena, what are you doing here?

Athena: We came to save you. Someone said you were ordering takeout for Christmas dinner.

Buck: I did vote for turkey. ( Laughs )

(Dialogue from: https://tvshowtranscripts.ourboard.org/)

(Gif: @fireladybuckley)

It should also be obvious from the above gif that that extremely cute photo/gif of Buck from 3x10 that people like to post (and gush over) is Buck’s expression when he’s greeting ATHENA.

Also note that 3x10 is also the ep where Buck first outright stated his feelings for Bobby, so showing his comfort with Athena (and his bashfulness and happiness at being thanked and complimented by her) right next to this is quite telling.

(Gif: @mattoidmeerkat)

🤷🏻‍♀️

(Gif: @fireladybuckley)

[yannaryartside]

Carmy will have to decide between two types of love

I keep thinking about why Carmy (possibly) deciding between Claire and Syd is taking so much time on the overall plot of the series. We have used a entire season of him falling for Claire, and my theory is that in this season the Syd vs Claire is gonna be toe to toe, and then in the final season he goes for Syd.

Now, if that happens this way, I have been analysing it from a writers perspectives, how this love stories create Carmen ultimate character arc. I am gonna propose to you two narratives and why I would go for the later. Character analysis ahead.

The Claire option

Walk with me here. If you ship Claire and Carmy and believe the trailers, you could say this whole thing is about Carmy learning to accept love and good things. That is why the last season ended with him rejecting the relationship out of trauma just to realize that Claire loved him. This season could be about him healing to a point where he learns he deserves love, apologizing to Claire, and getting back together. And you know what, that does make sense, writing this show as an exercise for learning to heal childhood wounds. It is clean and makes sense. Then in s4 his new self can make all the good decisions, have a couple of kids, bum you have an arc.

But the background noise, or the clues floating around, to call it something, doesn't make sense. Here insert all the Sydcarmy clues the fandom has talked about.

The show is trying to tell us that Claire is the love Carmy wants because he is trapped in his wounded self mentality.

As I said in this post, Claire's behavior looked extremely naive but manipulative sometimes. Her relationship with his family and the trauma surrounding it. How everybody seems more enthusiastic than him about the relationship at times.

The reason: the wound.

Claire is uncomplicated love, love with no expectations or boundaries, with only space for his needs, never hers. That is the kind of love a child expects from a parent. My theory is that Carmen, being with Claire, wanted to experience that kind of love, the one he didn't get from Donna. with a touch of his teen self fantasies and sex included.

And that also makes sense. Everybody that has been abused, particularly in childhood, will tell you that picking a partner without relying on your wounded self is very difficult.

A little bit of TMI on healing from abuse when you look for a romantic partner: One of the reasons I got into therapy is because I was terrified to end up marrying a man as abusive as my dad was with my mom and me. I had a problematic episode with one of my exboyfriends that made me realize I was repeating specific patterns, even when consciously, I thought I was picking men who didn't act like my father. It is something difficult precisely because you are not aware of it. It is all happening subconsciously.

So maybe that is why the writers want to give Carmen the chance to choose a partner as a healed person (Syd) and not as a wounded person desperate for love (Claire)

You cannot choose a romantic partner looking for the love of a parent, because parent to child love is the only type of unconditional love that can exist. Some therapist will tell you that the only way to cure that lack is with self love and forgiveness, but that is besides the point of this post.

Romantic relationships cannot be unconditional, it is a partnership. There needs to be expectations of grow, sacrifices and compromises, the two people need to get their needs met. You may heal together, but you partner may trigger your wounds sometimes, the same as your other relationships.

Syd definitely forces Carmy to evolve, while Claire enables him and keeps him in his past self.

Now here is where I think the twist of the series will come.

Remember when I said that Carmys core wound is ther he felt he was not good enough for Donna to love him? Because he could not be like Michael? This is the post

Syd is Carmy’s anchor and his peace. She is also characterized as someone who helps people to grow, who gives grace and sincerity when mistakes are made. She is the actually healthy woman/parent he never experienced.

Carmen has not healed his core wound. The lie he believes that he has to go the extra mile to earn people's love. The way he became the best chef in the world, dreaming of just getting a “good job” from his older brother.

But because his wounded self doesn't feel like he can be enough for somebody he actually wants (Syd), he felt for a woman that didn't asked anything of him (Claire).

That (never giving but always receiving) dynamic is what allowed Carmy to accept the relationship in the first place.

Thinking of all this made me realize that not only has Syd been the only person Carmy had chosen for himself (as other posts have brilliantly pointed out), but Syd is literally the only person who can make a relationship with him work. She had seen the worst of him (Donna) and had the capacity to make him think of himself beyound all that, hence the peace that she brings him “you are the best cdc” as in “you are great, you are good, a good partner, a good leader, you are my friend” you are not just the bear (your wounded self). He smiles because the person that he wants can see this even if he doesn't dare to belive it yet.

So I don't know how they could make Carmy realize all of this. I also could be wrong and the meaning of all of this could be something completly different. I also don't know of this opinion is controversial. Let me know what you think. Thank you for reading.

[catcas22]

Where woukd Trina be in the grudge match au?

Been thinking about that for a long time, and I think I finally have an answer.

I knew I wanted her to be a kid around Miquella's age who he eventually adopts. My first impulse was for her to be either stuck with abusive parents or a runaway fleeing the same.

However, I don't think that fits the tone I'm going for with the Grudge-verse. It sits firmly between 90's sitcom and Disney Channel original movie in terms of tone and stakes, and there are several points where I softened my original concept to fit that tone.

For instance, Marika and Gowry being comically negligent rather than more realistically abusive (Gowry was originally going to be the leader of a Heaven's Gate-esque cult), or Mohg being the family burnout rather than a creepy uncle.

All that being said, I finally know how Trina would fit in -- she is the twin sister of Michael. They would both transfer to the same school as Mal and Miq, and shortly thereafter Michael and Miquella would become mortal enemies.

Michael serves as a sort of Squilliam-esque rival and foil to Miquella. He's highly concerned with the problems of others (in fact, when he runs for student council he brands himself as "Michael the Kind"), but in a very "Hush, I know what's best for you" kind of way. Really he's a meddler and a busybody, and Trina gets guilt-tripped and gaslit whenever she objects to his well-intentioned trampling of boundaries.

Michael finally manages to get under Miquella's skin by insinuating that Miq must not care about his family, since he's willing to respect their wishes and let them deal with their own drama -- if he really loved them, he would step in and fix things whether they asked him to or not. This launches Miquella on his quest (Radahn in tow, since he needs a driver -- his feet don't reach the peddles, and Ranni told him to stop borrowing her three-inch-sole goth boots) to reunite Marika and Messmer, regardless of their feelings on the matter.

At some point amidst all this Trina would start hanging out with Malenia and Miquella, and would say something along the lines of "I wish my brother was more like you." By the end of the story, Miquella looks into adoption law and discovers that unfortunately, you can't adopt someone as your sibling. He does the next best thing and adopts Trina as his daughter.

Miquella: Father, I have wonderful news! You know how you're always telling Ranni you want grandchildren?

Radagon:

Trina and Michael's parents never make an appearance. No one seems to know if they have parents, although they clearly come from money. Leda serves as their primary guardian, as well as their fiercely protective butler and bodyguard.

Thanks for the ask!

[dadvans]

9-1-1 S8x04 Liveblog Notes

This episode starts and ends with Bobby being underestimated by Gerrard in completely unique ways. Amazing.

Underrated line: "So they took my house from me. Yes, it was humiliating. Well, I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I'm back." I really don't think Gerrard is fully gone. We know there will be more Hotshots + Brad this season. Gerrard is a man who survives out of spite, and there are depths of his hatred we don't even know.

I'm so curious about how Gerrard has, if I remember correctly, said mooks twice. Gerrard/Sal OTP.

As long as we're going to talk about Gerrard, I'm adding this here much, much later: awful, terrible people have good sides to them. This will always be true, especially for powerful people. I've seen a few different interpretations of "Tight End," but I'm going to be real with you all from someone who grew up in male spaces? This is affection. This is Old Guard shit. It is not good. It is the kind of preferential affection that tells you that you're on thin ice but you're special enough or good enough if you work hard, and you've been noticed. Your name will always be your strongest weakness. Someone has their eye on you. You can be called out by the leader something awful, but at least you have a name. (My coach's name for me was "Bruiser.")

Buck is terrible at golf. I feel like there was a lot of spec this episode about his outfit: that's just a golf outfit. Buck strikes me as the kind of guy who knows how to socially fake appearances, and Gerrard isn't calling him on his terrible performance here. NOTABLY: in terms of performance, Oliver Stark can act his way through terrible drives down the line with the addition of SFX and flailing with the net, but I'm still frustrated at how capable he was in the basketball montage in s7 after Buck is supposed to hate/suck at basketball.

Yes, you can be good at a sport and hate it. That's me with golf. That's Buck with basketball.

Someday, if anyone ever wants, I would love to nerd out about how they blocked and choreographed the basketball scene, because it DOES make me a little crazy.

Did they actually play a full 18 after this? And Buck survived?

The apartment Bobby and Athena are looking at is at least $2mil. It actually looks like several listings where I was trying to gauge new build in surrounding neighborhoods when I was writing "An Outlier."

Michael... plans. I find it a little weird that Athena would do it, a lot weird she would do it without Bobby. Bobby and Michael had a good relationship! But then Athena was excited! It's a weird way to navigate how Michael can't physically appear in the show anymore. It almost feels like a regression, because Bobby and Michael were so close. Michael would probably have reached out to Bobby if Athena reached out to him. I miss their made, intentional, yet triumphant family so much (including May and Harry).

I was SO into Chimney pointing out the obvious about the blueprints until he made it about the 118-- although his Gerrard impression was the unsettling kind of impressive.

The tiger would have simply become friends with me and I would have called 9-1-1 while we were chilling on the couch together. But I would have told them it was okay and to never come because I found my best friend forever.

Crazy that they had to use a tranq dart. I simply would have entered the apartment and said hello and the tiger would have recognized me as a friend and we would have left together laughing over shared interests.

I totally think Eddie violated HIPAA contacting an underage patient's parent without his OR his guardian's permission. Eddie also showed said parent photos of his son's injury that Eddie had taken without permission. The mother even clarified that she would not notify the father. For me, the biggest implication here is that Eddie's on-the-job performance (despite being impeccable during the emergency itself) could begin to suffer, or his ability to remain impartial in situations will continue to take hits before it gets better without Christopher.

People are BIG MAD about the above opinion on Reddit. Why are you booing me, I'm right.

I had an HR post script about how Bobby financially runs his department here and how he underhires with overperformers to navigate attrition, but it is lost to time. I guess we will never know how my sexy HR brain works in a situation that it has never been in, but I'm sure I was right, because I always am.

[magpod-confessions]

Alright, I'll say it. And I mean this as someone who really loves TMA (just started it last month, and nearly finished it, so if anything changes in the last season then, great!) but...

The show has a really bad problem with its female characters. Whyyyy are nearly all of the female characters horrible people?

Even oftentimes the one off characters in statements tend to be written more favorably if they're male. Nearly all moms in the show are some manner of neglectful or cruel (whereas fathers are usually seen as kind and/ or dead with fond memories attached) , ALL of the main female cast past season 1 are extremely hostile for no reason, and just. They really feel like they act in ways people in their position shouldn't or wouldn't just to have them be purposely unlikeable. Like, what do you MEAN you're ok with violent murder to satisfy urges foisted upon someone by an all powerful entity, but draw the line at nightmares that seem like they can be managed after a point?? What do you MEAN you think Jon is working against you intentionally but also mock him for getting kidnapped and tortured?? Why are the staff written as bullies that never get told they're being harsh except by Martin (a male!!!) .

None of this makes sense! The writing for the female characters is inconsistent and seems - oftentimes - hinged on whatever would piss the viewer off the most at the time. With so little logic or reasoning.

The only female characters that aren't written as horrible or excessively annoying people (or dead by the time we even HEAR about them), are like. Sasha. In season 1. Who was killed. And Helen, who unfortunately was forced to be Michael's following act, and therefore always going to be in his shadow. awesome.

Daisy does, admittedly, get a lot better and more complex as a character in season 4. But everyone else's personality seems to be "hate Jon and also herself". Don't even get me started on Basira and how she treats everyone post season 1.

Gertrude is callous and morally grey. I actually think that's awesome, but it's unfortunately symptomatic of a bigger problem when you notice how many female characters do extremely callous and/ or abusive things like she did (without having the 'badass, cunning old woman fighting against all odds' thing going for them). Except Sasha. Who died. Maybe Agnes? From the Desolation? Ah, but she had feelings, and therefore died. Right, sorry.

Does this not rub anyone else the wrong way?

.

[rtfics]

"The Zen-Dad Wisdom of Michael Keaton."

Thirty-five years after playing the Ghost With the Most made him into an A-list star (and, soon after, a superhero), the legendary screen eccentric whom Jenna Ortega calls “strangely normal” returns to old haunts in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, and tells GQ what he’s learned from surviving decades in a fickle business: “You can get insecure and nervous, and go, ‘Wow, boy, I'm not doing so great right now.’ But when you get desperate, you're dead.”

By Gabriella PaiellaPhotography by Christine Hahn

August 19, 2024

He is wandering around the restaurant, hunting for a quieter table, in the unselfconscious way of the older dad. Dressed like one, too: baseball cap, polo shirt, jeans, practical sneakers. He is, after all, a Pittsburgh-born, Montana-dwelling, fly-fishing, practical-sneaker-wearing father and grandfather, a visitor to the big city of New York, just looking for a quieter restaurant table. But he is also Michael Keaton—of Beetlejuice and Batman and Mr. Mom and about a million other blockbusters, grosser of multiple billions at the box office, and bona fide movie star.

He scopes out the bar. No luck there, but he at least returns with a glass of tequila. We try another table, which is…fine. Then the hostess points out a back booth, which she assures him is the quietest in the restaurant. Finally, then, we’re settled.

Or, as settled as you’re going to get when you’re talking to Michael Keaton. At 72, he’s still wiry, if slightly more worn. But that energy, man. It made him a top-tier guest on Letterman in the ’80s, doing rambling non-sequitur bits about esoteric Bazooka Joe cartoons. In conversation, it feels like mainlining cold brew while strapped to a bullet train.

It’s the type of energy that helped him flawlessly resurrect Beetlejuice, in Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, out this September. It’s funny and a bit strange that Keaton—despite having such a long and varied career that has coalesced into him being known as an American everyman—remains famously and indelibly associated with a perverted demonic entity covered in mold. In the same way that it’s conversely funny and a bit strange that 1988’s Beetlejuice, a scrappy and bizarre gothic horror comedy directed by a then-29-year-old Tim Burton, has become such an American institution.

Keaton is at that age when you naturally start looking back on what you’ve accomplished and are considering questions like legacy. Questions that you’d expect would be front of mind for someone returning to a project he first embarked on 35 years back, an entire lifetime ago. And it’s not that Keaton does not think about these things. But it soon becomes clear that he does not really give much of a shit.

About 10 years ago, another, tangential narrative seemed to be developing around Keaton, when he starred in Alejandro González Iñárritu’s Birdman, about a washed-up actor best known for playing a superhero staging a theatrical production. This was framed as his big Oscar-winning comeback.

“A really, really, really smart guy, a guy I liked a lot, said, ‘Comeback—that's the story,’” Keaton tells me. “I went, ‘Honestly, it's kind of bullshit.’”

He had been working steadily, all these years, putting himself out there, and collecting paychecks.

“I thought I could make that story up, but I knew I'm going to be bullshitting every time I talk about it,” he adds. “By the way, I know business. I like business. Doesn't bother me. You go, ‘This is a business, man.’”

And if Keaton has learned anything, it’s to be fine with the business, with the inevitable ups and downs. “I never panic,” he says. “If you get desperate, you're fucked. Don't ever get desperate. You can get insecure and nervous, and go, ‘Wow, boy, I'm not doing so great right now.’ But when you get desperate, you're dead.”

The long, gnarly road back to Beetlejuice began shortly after the success of the first one. There were, as there tend to be, talks. Talks that didn’t go anywhere. Talks about making it tropical—Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian was on the table for a while. Scripts were commissioned, written, and rewritten. And then, a few years back, the talks began again in earnest.

When Burton finally had his hands on a script he felt good about, he shared it with Keaton. The actor felt good too, though he had some stipulations.

In the first movie, Beetlejuice gets a whopping total of 17 minutes of screen time, which is pretty wild when you realize what a knockout presence he was. “Keaton is like an exploding head,” wrote film critic Pauline Kael, reviewing Beetlejuice in The New Yorker. “He isn’t onscreen nearly enough—when he is, he shoots the film sky high.”

Part of the deal was, if Keaton were to come back, he didn’t want to take up more space. “The idea was, no, no, no, you can't load it up with Beetlejuice, that'll kill it,” Keaton says. “I think the Beetlejuice character doesn't drive the story as much as he did in the first one. He's more part of the storyline in this one as opposed to the first one, which is a case of, this thing comes in and drives the movie a little bit.”

He was also adamant that the 2024 version preserve the handmade spirit of the original Beetlejuice, rather than leaning on CGI. “When I say handmade, it's literally handmade,” Keaton says. We’re talking ghoulish puppets, outlandish set design—the kind of thing, he notes, “that’s really hard to do in 2024.” He had reason to insist: “For the most part, [with CGI] I think a lot of audiences subconsciously feel farther away from what's actually going on on the screen or in the story. It'll work, they'll accept it,” he says. “But I think for a lot of movies, it's not quite as enjoyable.”

As for the character himself, there was not a ton of updating to be done there. Beetlejuice, debauched sicko in 1988, remains a debauched sicko in our more enlightened era. “He's a thing. He's more of a thing than a he or a she, he's more of an it. And I'm not saying ‘it’ to be politically correct. I just viewed it as a force more than anything. I mean, there’s definitely strong male energy, like stupid male energy, which I love,” Keaton explains. “You don't want to touch that because it's not like you go, ‘Well, it's a new year and this thing would now act like that.’”

Instead, to see Keaton in the film is to feel the eerie sensation of no time having passed at all. “It was like a weird family reunion,” Tim Burton told me. “Very strange, but the strange part of it is, Michael got back so into it, it was kind of scary in a way. I mean, for somebody who didn't really maybe want to do it, he seemed to channel it very quickly. And so it was quite exciting and surreal.”

And even though Beetlejuice seems so at odds with the rest of Keaton’s public image and filmography, it may actually be the character imbued with the maximum Michael Keaton. “He brought his energy to Beetlejuice,” costar Catherine O’Hara told me. “So that is Michael—real fast-talking, full of great crazy ideas, and really free.”

“There's a sexiness to him,” O’Hara added, laughing. “Which is crazy to say about Beetlejuice!”

Though, at first glance, all-American Michael Keaton and goth mastermind Tim Burton seem to have nothing in common, they do, in fact, match each other’s proverbial freak. “I love Michael because he has a certain energy,” Burton told me. “That's why I wanted him to be in Batman, because you just look in his eyes and he seems intelligent, scary, crazy, everything all at once.”

Back when Burton tapped Keaton to play the Caped Crusader in Batman, it was a controversial choice. So much so that, in the pre–social media days, 50,000 comic book nerds wrote to Warner Bros. to protest the casting. Keaton, not a comics guy by any means, did not quite understand the fervor. Now, he looks back at what Burton did with a different lens.

“Tim deserves enormous credit. He changed everything,” Keaton said. “I can't necessarily say this, but there's a strong possibility there is no Marvel Universe, there is no DC Universe, without Tim Burton. He was doubted and questioned.”

“He hasn't gotten himself enough credit for going, ‘Yeah—that guy,’” he continues. “And everybody went, ‘Wait, Michael? You worked with him on Beetlejuice, right?’ But I think what happened was Tim saw Clean and Sober”—Keaton’s first non-comedic role, about a man overcoming substance abuse. “I get the credit. I don't know that he got enough credit for making that move. That was a bold move.”

Plenty of esteemed actors have since wriggled into the Batsuit—George Clooney, Christian Bale, Ben Affleck, Robert Pattinson—but Keaton is still considered to be one of the best Batmen, and certainly the best Bruce Wayne. He’s even reprised the role, twice: in 2023’s The Flash and in the unreleased Batgirl, the latter of which was scrapped by Warner Bros. amid cost-cutting measures and will never see the light of day. Was the fate of Batgirl disappointing to him at all?

“No, I didn't care one way or another. Big, fun, nice check,” Keaton says, rubbing his fingers together in the universal gesture for “moolah.”

He pauses for a second, then softens slightly. “I like those boys. They're nice guys.” (Batgirl directors Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah, he means.) “I pull for them. I want them to succeed, and I think they felt very badly, and that made me feel bad. Me?” he says, shrugging. “I'm good.”

Keaton is starting to get visibly agitated with this line of questioning. He tenses up, and I suddenly find myself on the disapproving end of some of cinema’s most famous eyebrows. Why does everyone want to talk about Batman all the time anyway? At the end of the day, it was a role he played, like any other. If there was one thing he really got out of it, it was this: “I'm nothing but only respectful and grateful, 100%,” Keaton says. "And proud of it actually, because I like to prove everybody wrong. It's fun for me."

The dad vibes, first established with Mr. Mom, remain strong with Keaton. It’s a priority in his life—he has a son, Sean, who now has kids of his own. It continues to be a preoccupation in his work—both his self-directed film from earlier this year, Knox Goes Away, and the upcoming comedy Goodrich, wrestle with fatherhood. But nowhere is it more present or palpable than on his Instagram. That’s where, to his 945,000 followers, he posts stuff that could otherwise be posted by your average MSNBC-loving suburban dad. It’s refreshingly unmanicured, the majority of the feed populated by photos of his dog, photos of his actual TV taken from the couch, screengrabs of articles with wonky cropping, and, once, a photo of a tweet on his computer that was then posted rotated 90 degrees the wrong way.

When I merely mention the existence of his Instagram account, he turns bright red and starts belly-laughing that great Michael Keaton laugh, pretty much collapsing in our booth.

“It's embarrassing and great at the same time,” Keaton admits. “I try to embrace it. My kid has given up on me. He's totally given up. He tried to educate me, and he goes, ‘No, man, I'm just going to embrace this. I'm just going to laugh at you all the time.’ I don't know what it is. First of all, I'm too lazy. I'm too lazy to do the extra work. I go, ‘Here, you should know about this. Just have at it.’ By the way, I want to defend this. Why should I do everything for you?”

Jenna Ortega, his young costar on Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, deemed Keaton “strangely normal,” adding that, “I think someone as successful as him, you could tell his priority lies with family and just being a kind, genuine guy.” James Marsden, who played his son in Knox Goes Away, recalled his first meeting with Keaton. “I sat in a room with him for about two hours. I don't think we intended to speak that long,” he said. “We just talked about fatherhood and kids and life, and never really even mentioned acting at all.”

I see Keaton’s grandfatherly instincts in action when, near the end of our interview, a girl who can’t be more than five and her mom are seated at the table next to ours. The kid shyly slides into the booth near Keaton. He greets her as if she’s an old friend and strikes up a conversation, sharing our french fries. Her mom is laughing, as if she can’t really believe what’s going down. The kid, naturally, has no idea who he is.

“You don't understand, but I'll explain when we're out of here,” says Mom.

There was always a sense, though, starting all the way back from those early Letterman appearances, that Keaton is just having more fun with the spectacle of celebrity than everyone else. “I'm a little surprised how many people take it seriously,” he says, when I raise this idea to him. “I was just with somebody I really liked the other day. This guy's great, so talented, so funny. A stand-up. We were at a little get-together. And for me, I mean—this guy's way younger than me, and I felt him behaving himself too much. I was pointing out some stuff that I thought was funny, and I don't know—I was shocked that there was no sense of mischief.”

Maybe, I suggest, this business was just more fun back in the day.

“I might have more fun with it now. It’s not like I don't care about it, I care about it to the degree that it's my job, you shouldn't be a jerk. But, essentially, it's kind of all ridiculous,” he says. “That's the great thing: It all looks silly. The whole thing looks sillier every day.”

Via GQ.

[fortheloveoflatinum]

Watching Star Trek: The Motion Picture - Part the Second

First impressions of the second half of the movie:

Just what *is* Spock doing?

“Curiosity, Mr. Decker. Insatiable curiosity.” – Spock

And, for that matter, why do all the uniforms look like pajamas?

I love Decker’s relationship with the Deltan woman. How her “vow of celibacy is on file” and the way she tells Kirk this very flippantly upon first meeting him… Yet she seems to want to break that vow with Decker. Somehow, I think ‘the power of love’ is going to save the day.

Let’s all take a break for Spock on his little unauthorized spacewalk. Dun dun dun.

Spock and Kirk holding hands in the sickbay has me feeling all sorts of things. Kirk holding on with both hands, thinking he’d lost his better half – his science officer – his first officer – his partner – ahem – in crime.

The way Kirk says Spock’s name is like a prayer on a benediction every goddamn time and no one can tell me otherwise.

I like the parallels. Spock comes back changed… H arrives, changed (and not for the better) in his search for logic on Vulcan. He ignores his friends, he barely responds even to orders. Even Kirk can’t reach him. And then he comes back changed from his mind meld with the living machine, in search of that self-same logic. He comes back changed and charged with emotion, more like his ‘usual self.’ And his usual self is half-human and wholly in love with James T. Kirk, and acts like it. In his search of logic, he acts rashly. In search of his Vulcan side – he acts so very human.

Yup and then he goes and starts to cry off his makeup as if just to prove the aforementioned point.

“Each of us, at some time in our lives, turns to someone… A father, a brother, a God, and asks, 'Why am I here? What was I meant to be?'" – Spock to Kirk and Decker.

I think that for Spock, Michael was that person in his youth. And Jim becomes that person. Spock’s ‘forever person.’

Oooh the sheer idealistic ambition displayed by the Voyager 6 probe… Shame we only got up to 2.

… And once again, the Captains of the Enterprise save the day. Or is it the Power of Love? Either way, planet Earth lives to see another day. Yay!

Also is it just me or is McCoy kind of like a Jovian planet orbiting the binary star system that is Spirk? Like, the tension between them all is palpable, but Spock and Kirk’s chemistry just outshines everything else on the screen. So beautiful and so brilliant.

Caption of the GIF for all the Captains out there who can't see it: Spock is lying prone on a biobed in sickbay. Kirk is already holding his hand, and then ever-so-gently clasps his other hand on the reverse side of Spock's hand. Cut to Spock smiling as much as he ever does, nodding a small lil nod. McCoy is in the background, blinking like a cursor when you're typing and stop for any amount of time. Love the parallels between this GIF and the one below of Julian and Garak holding hands in sickbay in DS9, where Garak holds up his hand from a prone position and Julian slides his hand into Garak's, and Garak wraps his fingers around it. Such sweetness....

[freedelusionshere]

Mikey, Cicero, and the mob as a representation of toxic masculinity.

Keep thinking about how Mikey is denigrated by Lee and others in Fishes for trying to come up with side businesses constantly, but to me it reads like someone who desperately wants to go legit but can’t? Same thing with franchising The Beef. Gets him out from owing Cicero or passing on that legacy to Carmy or Sugar. Mikey always has to act tough and untouchable and fake confidence to navigate this, which was probably handed off to him when his father went wherever he went. And it earns him admiration (Mikey was "cool") while internally he's self-destructing. And like Donna, whatever he wanted or dreamed for his life was pushed to the side.

Btw, the name Cicero could be a very “on the nose” reference to a Chicago town that was taken over by Al Capone to protect his territory. Like Capone, Cicero really “owns” The Bear one way or another right from the go. On the surface it appears he has guilt over Mikey’s death, wants to help the Berzatto family, etc.

But the entire time he’s around the family, even in flashbacks like Fishes, he’s trying to talk business in one way or another. Think about him (update: it was Lee, not Cicero, but my point stands, because Lee is also in on this) trying to bring up real estate to Donna in the kitchen (which she tried to beg off) or him jumping in on convos, Richie’s ask for a job, etc. Later all his convos are about money, about how he doesn’t want to take it from them, but he will. Tapping Sugar to handle all the financial stuff for him (I bet it will come out in S4 Donna does that for him on the real estate side).

Here are several other examples:

Mikey hid Cicero’s money away in tomato cans for Carmy to find and Carmy tells Cicero and his reaction? Thank God he didn’t put it in a bank. LOL.

Carmy “joking” in S1 about how he doesn’t want to get his legs broken. (Carmy is portrayed as very straight-and-narrow, not tolerating drugs being sold in the alley outside, and having a strong reaction to Claire admitting she liked to shoplift as a kid).

Richie having a gun to protect the shop and later telling Carmy he’ll come after Cicero if he comes for them.

Richie dealing with the mob associates lingering on the sidewalk outside The Bear, who are obviously conducting business of some kind.

The way The Beef has magically always had just enough money to stay afloat all this time and has things hidden in its walls. The story about Mikey trying to burn it down to collect the insurance money rather than allowing all this to continue when he spiraled.

Claire “joking” about sending Faks to beat up Carmy. I guarantee you there are Faks who do this, the Cena character 100% reads as a body man, you see him physically intimidating his brothers to be "funny".

The sudden presence of The Computer as a numbers guy coming to reconcile Cicero's accounts for someone(s).

Mikey not allowing Carmy to work at The Beef and pushing him away emotionally to make him want to GTFO of dodge.

The partnership agreement that seemingly comes out of nowhere, as Cicero now tries to rope Sydney into the family operation? Which is super triggering for her because she already has trust issues around Carmy as a business partner?

This also plays into the show liking to make references to Shakespeare which had violent family factions who controlled things (Romeo & Juliet being the most obvious) and Michael Mann who often focuses on organized crime in his storytelling.

This is all background noise and not the main driver of the show, but I was curious to see what others think about this and if anyone is noticing all of this? Especially when it comes to the kind of masculinity that is being idolized by characters like the Faks, even though it appears to go against Neil's actual nature.

[soullessjack]

i don’t think there’s anything new I can add to the performative-jack studies because it’s like..very cut and dry, guy who’s constantly perceived as a threat does his best to seem innocuous and friendly..but there is an underlying layer of exactly how jack tries to present himself to others (that I’ve definitely already posted about but whatever).

soo like. take this outline for example:

Jack: “He still has to be killed.” Cas: “Doing that might kill Dean as well, so [I] doubt any of [us] would be willing to do that.” Jack: “I would.”

‘Cas is a little shocked by how calmly Jack says this, and Jack says he knows what Cas is thinking; that this is Lucifer’s gene pool talking. It’s not. “I’m not my father. I’m not my mother. I’m me.”

“You’re all so focused on saving Dean, but Dean is Michael’s vessel. There’s a good chance Dean isn’t even alive. Is Jimmy Novak still alive?* Could anyone save him? It’s Michael. And Michael has to die.” ‘Cas stares at Jack, who looks coldly collected.

post-war jack is straight up traumatized and jaded by everything he’s seen and experienced in apocalypse world, still making efforts to be kind and sympathetic of course, but with a bit more edge to him now. for six months he’s been fixated on killing Michael, and he’s way more willing to do the Hard Thing (kill Dean) than he might’ve been before to do so (which actually reminds me a LOT of the chicken/snake story from ouroboros but we won’t get off subject).

obviously he still cares about/loves Dean, we’ve seen that in the rest of S14, but he’s also seen what Michael did to another world and wouldn’t put anything before preventing that. *he’s also very willing to hit Cas where it hurts with the Jimmy comment

but the thing that sticks out is Castiel immediately assuming that Jack’s calm, cold collectedness in the way he talks about killing Dean/Michael is somehow evidence of Lucifer’s influence or heritage; that Jack couldn’t possibly feel this way by himself. even Jack refutes it, stating that he’s neither of his parents (ie, it’s his own decision to kill Dean if it’s necessary). I think it’s also interesting he mentioned not being his mother, because I think that’s why Cas is so surprised by his demeanor and jumps to attribute it to Lucifer.

from day one Kelly’s heritage was the only argument Sam and Cas had against the idea that Jack would be evil. to be fair, Jack does take after Kelly a lot; he even looks like her to some extent. but treating Kelly’s heritage as the It-factor that makes Jack good, treating him as basically an extension of Kelly who must be good and kind because she was good and kind (literally an inverse of how Lucifer’s heritage is treated) is still just dehumanizing.

the distrust he faces is understandable coming from AU Bobby and people who are being actually displaced and exterminated by Michael, but the fact that Jack is subject to the same scrutiny from his own chosen father as well adds to why he represses these parts of himself so much, why he puts on that naive nuclear-son personality and basically butters everyone up all the time.

I think the only times when Jack has actually unmasked himself were at points of extreme low empathy, because most of the time his facade is put on for the sake of other people and the fear they feel towards him. he obviously wouldn’t have to worry about that while he’s human, but like I said, he’s literally a war veteran/criminal by this point. he’s gonna have a little more edge to him than before, and a little less empathy for the small things.

the second and probbaly more obvious one is his behavior while soulless, completely lacking the empathy required to care about keeping up his facade—so much so that he just bluntly tells Mary that he’s annoyed by everyone eggshell-walking around him like he’s a time bomb again. then, *checks script* like a flip switched, he goes back to that facade and reassures Mary that he knows they’re doing it out of love. He’s blatantly performing his emotional responses now.

jack is still soulless for like…three (?) episodes in S15, and still incapable of really feeling any emotion despite being able to logically process them. like he is literally so empty inside that he resorts to binge eating to feel some kind of sensation. but he’s consistently playing up the happy-go-lucky shtick when he isn’t just depressed and withdrawn (especially the church basement scene where he immediately gets the dumb Bambi look when he sees Cas after his failed cannibalism attempt).

got a headache while writing this so I’ll just leave it here but like. A Lot of the reason why Jack performs so much is because specific traits he shows are not only taken as threats, but are also associated with Lucifer and treated as signs of his “true nature” <- click that link it’s important for context

Mk that’s all byeeee (*´ -`)

[glamrockraybot]

(NOT A "<character> is a robot" POST)

Honestly my favourite current theory for fnaf is that the mimic (who is probably not burntrap but may be glitchtrap) is intending to recreate the events of the William Afton Era™️ to a T, as it was built to mimic by....someone? I mean someone had to build it right.

Anyway I'm gonna lightly explain my reasoning for each of these even though I'm sure most of you have already made these connections before

I mean, we all heard the Vanessa theories already yeah? Not even mentioning her visual similarities to Elizabeth, I think either her or Michael could fit. Both of them were loyal to their father at some point (I don't know why else Michael would go into the Sister location bunker) and they both played significant roles in the story. I think if this was the case I'd wager Vanessa was *supposed* to be Elizabeth, but after breaking free she became more like Michael and hellbent on destroying the glitchtrap virus for good (maybe with a little bit of fire). I could understand arguments for Glamrock Freddy being Michael (even aside from him *literally* being Michael) but I didn't include any of the glamrocks because they serve a narrative purpose already as animatronics.

Gregory is. Obvious. I mean with how similar they look its already sort of suspicious, though Gregory is a little bit more of a fighter than CC. They at the very least share a connection with bear robots. I could see an argument for Gregory being Michael (God is Michael just every character?) But for visual similarities alone I picked CC.

Cassie was theorized from day one to be Cassidy or Charlie or both. I personally learn more towards Charlie but because of Something in hw2 I may be more willing to accept her as the vengeful spirit. I know Charlie doesn't always equal green but Cassie does have specks of green throughout her design, and she seems to be a very kind and caring friend (maybe too kind). Roxy being protective over her near the end is, well, a loose connection to the security puppet but I thought I'd bring it up.

For cassidy I can see this since if Gregory is CC, obviously cassidy and him would most likely talk and maybe be friends. In the picture that is from the logbook which might be cassidy they share a similar hair style. Not identical but, similar. Though I miss Cassie's curly hair </3

Mimic is probably the most obvious connection. William is like. The only human murderer from the original story, so you know, if the mimic is trying to kill people it's safe to say they are probably mimicking him. Though clearly they are not above mimicking other people (Gregory) in order to do this, sort of like what I imagine the funtimes did. I don't necessarily think they are acting like they did in the books where they are just carrying out an order to disassemble mechs, because if they were WHYyyy the need to lure people down there? Hey man I don't think that person you tricked into climbing down here is an endoskeleton I think that's a fucking person. This seems much more malicious, something that would make sense if they based their actions off of a killer from the 80s.

Also I guess Cassie's dad is worth a mention, who may be a parallel with Henry Emily or even Charlie herself. I'm leaning more towards Henry but I could see a case for it. I guess he can always be Michael. Because as much as I like fan interpretations of him he's sort of. Just Like. There. You know to be a foil to his dad.

Anyway I hope this was interesting, or rage inducing. And no I don't like the idea of them being robots of the character ❤️