#mentions of psychological abuse

[exhaustedpirate]

my mom is dating a vampire

another entry for the CS Spooky/Autumnal Bingo, this time the prompt was 'bats' - once again, i got a little carried away with it and this turned out more emotional than i expected (but also i'll never apologise for providing yall with some captaincobraswan) a million thanks to @ultraluckycatnd for betaing!

rated T | 9059 words

also on AO3

summary: Emma Swan is dating Killian Jones. Which Henry is completely fine with.

On a completely unrelated note, how does one get rid of a vampire?

Emma Swan is dating. Henry is sure of it.

There’s a significant increase of flowers in their home - significant because there hadn’t been any before. Anything from red roses to buttercups fills every available surface in improvised vases. They are running out of space.

“Who’s giving you all of these?” Henry asks as his mom fills an empty can of soup with water to put half a dozen forget-me-nots in. 

“Just a friend.” But there is a decidedly smitten smile on her face as she tries to push the other occupants of the kitchen windowsill aside to make space for their new friend.

“Maybe your friend should relax on the flowers before our apartment is filled with bees.” So maybe Henry is brooding. He’s 13, he’s allowed to brood; it’s part of the job requirement even.

“Don’t be a grump, kid.” Emma taps his nose with her index finger and stands next to him to look at the flowers surrounding their living space. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

Henry only groans in response.

During her days off, Aunt Ruby babysits - it mostly involves eating snacks and watching movies or playing video games together - while Emma obsesses over her looks. She never did that before. Ruby has to give her a hushed pep talk to get her out of the house. 

Ruby knows. But he doesn’t. He learned long ago that his aunt is impossible to interrogate.

When she comes back, Ruby leaves after securing a promise to hear all about it the day after. Henry doesn’t get those promises, he only gets evasive answers. And when she kisses his forehead in greeting, she smells differently. A spicy scent that he knows is not hers. She’s been smiling into her phone and talking late into the night - either texting or calling. 

She looks…happy.

---

“The usual, Swans?” 

It was tradition. Every Sunday night, they would go to Granny’s for dinner and talk about the week before.

They had had a “monkey problem” three years ago - Walsh Ozman had appeared to be a great attentive guy, helping Henry with homework and playing video games. But only when his mom was watching. When she was gone, he was dismissive and rude, always making him feel like an obstacle in his mom’s life. In his gullibility, he had kept it from his mother until she caught him crying in his room. He told her everything.

While Walsh Ozman got berated in his place of work as well as a broken nose, Henry got closer to his mother. Emma had felt guilty for not having seen the signs before, especially considering he had also been cheating on her. And while Henry didn’t blame his mother for having been in love, he wasn’t complaining about getting more of her time - especially without monkeys around.

So Sunday nights became their time to talk - about nothing, about everything, about their week, about the upcoming week, or about Henry’s unrequited crush on Violet or when his crush became requited. It was their time for honesty.

But his mom is keeping a secret.

When she jumps at Ruby’s customary greeting, Henry frowns. Emma’s quick to pretend as if nothing happened. “Uhm, not yet, Ruby. We’re, uh,” she glances towards Henry, “we’re waiting for someone.”

They must share a sign that Henry wasn’t made aware of because Ruby seems to know who that someone is. His frown only deepens when his aunt Ruby leaves without further questions.

“We’re waiting for someone?”

“Well,” his mom wrings her hands nervously and takes a deep breath. “I met someone.” 

“A boyfriend?” He raises his eyebrow.

Emma tucks her hair behind her ear and a blush crosses over her cheeks. “Yeah, a boyfriend.” There’s a quick smile on her lips at the label. “We started dating a month ago. I, uhm, thought it was time that you two met.”

There’s a hopeful expression on Emma’s face and Henry is finding it hard to breathe. His mother hasn’t dated since the monkey disaster, at least nothing serious enough to reach the “meet the son” stage. He should have expected this - considering the flowers, the dates, the smiles, all the evidence - yet all he can see is Walsh’s cruel smile and hear his hurtful words.

“Henry?”

Maybe it’s just the unexpectedness of it all. It’s sudden, right? Why is it so hot?

“Henry.” His mom takes hold of his hand and his wide eyes focus on hers. The hope is gone and there’s only nerves there. “Are you ok, kid?”

“I, uh, I need to go to the bathroom.” Henry jumps out of his seat.

“Henry, a-”

“I’m fine.”

He rushes through the arch at the back of the diner before he sees his mom’s concerned expression again, passing through the bathrooms towards the back door. The night air is cold but he takes a deep breath in and it releases the weight on his chest. He focuses on breathing, on feeling and loosens his fists when it doesn’t feel like he’s going to suffocate anymore.

The night sky is littered with stars and he’s happy to live in a small town instead of the city. A colony of bats flies through the sky and Henry frowns - he’s never seen bats before. They disappear over the next building - an ice cream shop - and he looks up at the sky again.

“You can see Cassiopeia from here.” Henry startles at the voice of a man crossing the alley behind “Any Given Sundae” towards the diner. “Apologies, lad, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Oh, uh,” the strange accent has him blinking repeatedly. “You didn’t.”

As the man approaches him with a friendly smile, he picks up a familiar cologne. He seems to recognise Henry as he gets a closer look at his face.

“You’re Henry.”

Bats, a strange man, and a scent he recognises. It’s all too much for him. “You’re British.” The man has a nice laugh. Henry regains his focus. “You know me?”

“Well,” the man scratches the back of his neck in a nervous move, “I know of you.” Henry frowns. “Emma’s told me a lot about you. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.”

Mom’s new boyfriend. Of course.

“Henry!” His mom’s panicked voice echoes from the other side of the door and the man - her boyfriend - frowns, stretching an arm around him to open the door.

“Swan?”

Emma appears at the door and spares only a surprised look towards the stranger before crouching in front of him. “What are you doing out here? I thought you were in the bathroom.”

He notices, out the corner of his eye, how the man takes a step back, an attempt at privacy. He remembers Walsh’s overbearing presence everytime his mom tried to talk to him, or if they wanted a moment together. “I just needed some air.” He shrugs.

His mom glances towards her boyfriend again before she turns to him again with a serious look. “Do you want to go home? We can order in and watch a movie, just the two of us.”

He had seen the hope on her face when she had talked about the man now standing a couple of steps away, had seen that hope fall when he rushed out. Henry shakes his head.

She cups his face and looks into his eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I want Granny’s fries.” His smile is soft but genuine. He trusts his mom. 

And when she smiles brightly at him and kisses his forehead, he knows he made the right decision. She stands up straight and they turn towards the man who looks at them with a fond and patient expression, hands stuffed in his jacket.

“This isn’t exactly what I envisioned your meeting would be but,” Emma chuckles before gesturing for the man to approach them. “Henry, this is Killian Jones. Killian, this is my son, Henry.”

He has a nice smile too, it reaches his eyes, makes his face softer and younger. “It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Henry.”

He takes his outstretched hand. It’s cold. “Same.”

“Now that that’s out of the way,” Emma claps her hands and the delighted smile on her face is infectious. “Let’s go back inside, it’s freezing out here.”

Right, it’s cold. Cold hands. 

Henry follows them back to their table and watches as Killian keeps a respectful distance from his mother. Ruby struts her way to their table with a wide grin on her face and his mom sighs in defeat.

“I guess you don’t need to see the menu, girl, you already have such a fine dish here.” Killian blushes up to his ears and Emma hides her face in her hands. “I’m Ruby Lucas, you?” 

“Uhm, Killian, Killian Jones.” He nods in greeting.

“I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

His mother groans from her hideout and he smirks, he’s never seen his mother acting so childishly. “Didn’t Granny warn you about being professional once before?” Henry sasses towards his aunt.

Ruby leans towards him as she keeps her eyes on the bashful couple on the opposite side. “She makes an exception for you guys, especially when it makes your mother act like a teenager.”

“Alright, alright,” Emma gestures with her hands as she glares at the other woman whose grin only widens in response. “We’ll have the usual. Killian?”

“I’ll take whatever you recommend, lass,” he answers towards Ruby. “Just nothing with garlic.”

���Hope you like surprises,” Ruby sweeps up all the menus in a fluid move. “Be right back.”

“That was my best friend,” Emma explains. “I’m sorry, she can be a bit much.” 

Walsh hadn’t liked Ruby, and went so far as to manufacture an argument between the two in order to pull them apart, as they learned later. He remembered the string of muffled curses - that he had not meant to hear, of course - coming from the living room the day Emma told Ruby everything. He imagined that his aunt had wanted to rip Walsh apart limb from limb. But, just like with his mom, it brought them all closer.

“Nonsense,” Killian waves away Emma’s excuse with an amused smile. “She’s delightful.”

His mom’s shoulders deflate and he wonders if she had the same thought as him. The movement has Henry noticing the scars on Killian’s left hand. 

“Wow, what happened to your hand?” 

“Henry!” his mom scolds but Killian just keeps smiling.

“It’s alright, Swan.” She bites her lip and Killian’s smile softens. “It’s natural for the boy to be curious.” He turns to Henry, pulling up his sleeve so that Henry can see how the scars continue up to his forearm. “It was an accident in the navy.”

“You were in the navy?”

“Aye.” His grin is proud and Henry finds himself smiling back. “We were attacked and I got caught in an explosion.”

“Cool,” Henry breathes out and the man chuckles. “I mean, it’s not cool that you got into trouble but cool that you survived an explosion.”

There’s a shadow that crosses Killian’s face and Henry’s chest tightens at the thought of having put that expression on his face. “I didn’t lose my arm but,” he clenches his fist, a slow movement that has his hand shaking until it finally closes and Killian winces in pain, “it’s little consolation.” 

“Okay,” Emma takes hold of his mangled hand and Killian’s face clears as he looks at her. The pain seems to leave his body at her touch. Interesting. “I can’t believe we’re starting with tragic backstories.”

Henry and Killian share a laugh. He does have a nice laugh. “What? Did you plan the whole dinner, Mom? Did we go off script?”

Emma covers his face with her hand and pushes on it until his back hits the back of the chair and his laughter intensifies. “No,” she scoffs in faux indignation. “I just thought we’d start with the basics.”

“Apologies, Swan.” Huh, they have nicknames. “We’ll follow the rules.” He winks and she rolls her eyes and it looks like he’s used to it.

And that’s how, with some delicious food in front of them, he learns that Killian is 32 to his mother’s 30, has been in Storybrooke for a year after travelling the world all his life, loves the sea and has a boat. 

“Ship, my boy,” he corrects.

“I’m sorry, Captain,” Henry mockingly salutes and Killian narrows his eyes at him even as he is fighting a smile. “Maybe we can go out on your ship together sometime?” He looks hopeful between his mom and Killian. “It’s your birthday soon, Mom, we could celebrate on Killian’s ship!”

Emma bites her lip and Killian smiles. 

“You’re always welcome aboard my ship, love.”

She nudges his shoulder with a smile. “It’s still two weeks away, we’ll see.”

“I’m counting that as a ‘yes’,” Henry grins victoriously. “What about your birthday, Killian?”

“Oh.” The man frowns and scratches behind his ear. “Well, I don’t know the exact day but it’s sometime in Summer. Late July?”

Henry frowns. “What do you mean, you don’t know?”

He chuckles nervously. “I lost my birth certificate when my house burned up when I was young. The foster family I was with for years after that didn’t care much for birthdays so all I have to go with is a vague memory of a hot day, a picnic in a garden and a delicious strawberry cake.”

“Wow,” Henry breathes out. “That’s crazy. Why haven’t you tried to get another copy?”

“He says he forgot,” Emma answers instead. “Can you believe it?”

Killian shrugs, even as his cheeks turn crimson. “I kept putting it off and I haven’t needed it yet.” He puts on a charming smile that doesn’t affect his mom the way he intended.

“If someone comes along to arrest you over that, I’m not bailing you out.” She crosses her arms and raises her eyebrow at him.

Killian winks surreptitiously at Henry before draping an arm over the back of the booth inching closer to Emma. “If my punishment is being parted from you, I shall fix it.”

His mom rolls her eyes but he can see how charmed she is by his words and the way he plays with a strand of her hair. Henry had never seen her act this way with anyone. “Yeah, yeah, you think you’re so charming with your blue eyes, your smile and your antiquated vocabulary.”

“I mean, it’s working.” Henry smirks and it grows into a grin when Killian turns to him with a conspiratorial smile. And there’s something to the fact that he’s not restricted from their moments, to how he doesn’t feel like he’s intruding.

They laugh together when Emma huffs. “If I knew the two of you would get along so well, I would have thought twice about introducing you.”

Killian raises his left hand to high-five Henry which he does gladly. And he gets some satisfaction from the fact that the man isn’t hiding his injury from him. Even more when Emma rolls her eyes once more.

“Any desserts, Swans?”

Ruby stands next to their table with a self-satisfied smile and he thinks she likes to see them together. Henry doesn’t hate it.

“What do you say, kid?”

“We could go for ice cream…” Henry puts his best puppy-dog eyes and isn’t distracted by the way Killian chuckles at it.

Emma fumbles. “It’s October…”

“And we could take a walk to the docks,” Killian supplies.

“It’s October.”

“You can always huddle for warmth,” Ruby smirks.

“Guess we’re eating ice cream and walking close to the cold sea air,” Emma sighs in defeat and Henry shares a grin with his partners in crime. “How much do we owe you, Rubes?”

“My treat, Swan.” Killian hands over his credit card to Ruby before she can reply. His aunt winks at Emma and struts back behind the counter.

“Killian, y-”

“No use arguing, Swan.” He leans back with a self-satisfied smirk. “This is a special occasion and I want to treat my girlfriend and her son to dinner.”

Emma blushes even if she tries to hide it, crossing her arms and looking into his eyes. “I’m paying for ice cream then.”

Killian shares a wink with Henry. “We’ll see.”

Emma huffs but there is a smile on her face.

Henry remembers when they went to the zoo 3 years ago. He had missed the class trip because of the flu and had cried for a whole day. His mom then planned a zoo trip for the weekend, just the two of them. Walsh had weaselled his way into coming with them, claiming that it was supposed to be their weekend together. So it became the three of them.

He had refused to pay for his ticket since it wasn’t his initial plan and Henry still remembered the way Walsh had accused him of ruining their weekend on purpose, of being spoiled, when his mom wasn’t around. Henry didn’t let his mother see him cry when they got home. He felt a little vindicated when, at the monkey exhibit, one of the monkeys threw their poop at the exhibit glass, aiming towards Walsh’s head - and caused a teenager to throw up in his shoes. 

And if he paid for anything, there was an expectation of retribution. 

Unlike Walsh, Killian looks genuine with his offer. No ulterior motives in sight.

It is in fact cold when they leave the diner. Emma tightens the scarf around his neck to protect him and digs into her coat for their gloves. She fusses over Killian’s unseasonal outfit choice - from the couple of buttons he left open on his shirt, to his flimsy leather jacket, to his exposed ears - over the few steps it takes to reach “Any Given Sundae”.

Killian’s smile is wide as she argues with him over his choices. He enjoys the way she expresses her care for him, her concern, and allows her to button his shirt and hold his hands in order to warm them with her own. And Henry knows that, for all that Emma has been happier and free with her feelings, she still hides it through her fussing. He thinks Killian knows too.

Emma abandons all concern when they reach the door to the ice cream shop. She all but locks the business’ door in both their faces to keep him from paying for them. It’s a good thing they know the owner and that his mom is the Sheriff.

“Get me some red berries ice cream?” Killian pouts as he speaks through the glass and laughs when his mother blows him a kiss from the other side. He chuckles when she turns to the counter. “She’s stubborn.”

“You say that like you’re surprised,” Henry chuckles.

“I’m just always amazed by your mother,” Killian shrugs with a smile as he leans against the wall. “And very thankful to have met her.”

“She looks happy.”

“She makes me happy too. And I’m very happy to have met you too.”

Henry blushes and can’t help but wonder if he’s just putting up a front for him, despite the fact that Killian hasn’t shown to be prone to that sort of behaviour. Then again, neither did Walsh. “I didn’t thank you for paying for dinner, you didn’t have to-”

“Nonsense,” Killian interrupts with a disarming smile. “I already said that I wanted to do it.”

“Yeah, but-”

“No buts.” Killian smiles as he places a hand on Henry’s shoulder and it feels less heavy and more comforting than it felt before from a man who had claimed to want to join their family. “You deserve to be cared for, my boy, and I’ll aim to remind you of that. You and your mother.” 

The door to the ice cream shop opens and Henry is glad for the distraction. He feels tears prickling the corners of his eyes and he knows that these are happy tears. That his coat isn’t responsible for the warmth in his chest and that he doesn’t have to look into the face of a man who looks and feels too good to be true.

A bird flies overhead as Killian helps Emma balance the small cups. Henry is reminded of the bats. Of the cold hands. Of the unknown date of birth. 

“Here you go, kid, rocky road.” His mom hands him the small cup, distracting him.

They walk in a line, thankful that there aren’t many people around to be annoyed by them taking over the whole sidewalk. Henry walks between Killian and Emma as they all chat about their weeks. He learns Killian works as a bartender at the Rabbit Hole and that Sundays and Mondays are his nights off.

“That means you can join our weekly dinners.” Henry exclaims.

Emma whips her head towards him and her mouth is parted in surprise. Killian is suspiciously quiet on the other side. “A-are you sure, kid? I mean, these dinners-”

“I mean, you don’t have to,” Henry backtracks as he glances between the two adults before focusing on his half-eaten ice cream and shrugs. “I-I just thought that you might like to join our traditions or something.”

There’s his hand again. And when it goes from his shoulder to his back and back up in a revering and comforting move, Henry has to swallow through the lump in his throat before looking up at Killian, who waits until he does to nod. “I would be honoured, my boy.”

Is it too early to have a favourite word from a man you just met?

His mother sniffs from his other side and clears her throat. “That damn sea air,” she grumbles when they turn to look at her. 

The tension vanishes as they share a conspiratorial smirk before they change subjects. Henry tries not to mourn the loss of that damn hand on his shoulder as they return to their ice creams. 

He learns that Killian doesn’t have any family left alive, the fire taking his brother and mother from him, and they tell him that they only had each other for years until they moved to town 4 years ago. Henry thinks that maybe they can be a family together before quickly pushing down the thought. Too soon.

They walk slowly along the docks, the sea at their left dropping the temperature around them but Henry can barely feel the cold as he walks between the two adults. He tells Killian about how Star Wars is his favourite movie franchise and clutches his imaginary pearls when the man tells him he hasn’t watched any of the movies. Emma joins the teasing over him not having watched “Princess Bride” either - Henry guesses her lie detector doesn’t work on omissions because there’s a glint in Killian’s face that reveals the truth. But it’s not his secret to tell.

“It’s definitely time for a movie night.”

And if the adults share a hopeful look over his head, Henry is distracted by thoughts of a movie night where they share popcorn and hot cocoa in the warmth of their living room. Where the Swans share a part of themselves through the movies they love and hope to be accepted.

They stop at the end of the docks, the presence of the enormous ship looking straight out of a pirate movie effectively putting all thoughts and fantasies to the back of his mind. 

“Wow…” Henry breathes out, looking from one side to the other, inspecting every inch.

“Behold,” Killian holds out his arm in a grand gesture as he takes a couple of steps to stand in front of the gangplank. “The Jolly Roger.”

Henry looks back towards the man, mouth parted. “This is your ship?”

“Aye, since we were here, I thought you might like to see it.” Killian reaches up to scratch the back of his ear.

Emma leans towards Henry and pretends to whisper in his ear. “I think he is trying to win you over, kid.”

Despite it being dark, he can see the way Killian’s cheeks darken at being caught. The man stammers a response and Emma exchanges a conspiratorial look with Henry.

“Is that why you named your ship that?” Henry looks at him with a searching look, the one that Uncle David called his “detective look”. He watches as Killian fumbles before sending a mock glare towards Emma who is trying very hard not to laugh.

“It’s a pirate ship,” Killian holds out his arms as if it made his point. “It should have a pirate name.”

“There it is,” Emma nudges his side and Henry presses his lips together to avoid laughing. “We found the reason for the old-timey speech, kid. Killian is actually a time travelling pirate.”

They both lose their battle against laughter when Killian huffs and crosses his arms at them. “I’m revoking your rights to board my ship, both of you. And I was even going to let you have a try at the wheel.” He raises his eyebrow and Henry sees it as a challenge. 

If Killian wants to be dramatic, so can he.

“Please, Killian,” Henry grabs onto his crossed arms and looks up with an exaggerated pout. “We were just kidding.” There’s an uptick at the corner of his lips and Henry is ready to admit victory. “Your ship is so cool and the name is so original and you should let us aboard.” He is really laying it on thick and both adults know it by the looks on their faces.

“Come on, how can you say no to that face?” Emma points out, her voice wobbly from laughter.

“Fine, fine,” Killian sighs and uncrosses his arms. “That is a dangerous face.” Henry is ready to whoop in excitement when Killian touches the tip of his nose. “Stay close to me.”

Henry shares a grin with his mother who holds his hand before he takes Killian’s left hand. There’s a stumbling pause in the man’s steps before he starts walking. They are ordered to wait at the centre of the deck while Killian’s boots echo across the deck while he lights up lanterns around them. The faint light makes the ship look even more out of this world and Henry feels like they are about to set sail on an adventure to fantastical realms.

Henry looks around with a parted mouth and when he finally finds his mother’s eyes, he sees her smile at him, a soft smile that he knows is a reflection of her love for him. “It is very cool, huh, kid?” 

He nods and her arm wraps around his shoulders as they watch the deck light up in the warm colour of the lanterns. “This would be a good spot to do some star gazing.” 

“With a picnic,” his mom supplies.

“I could teach you about the stars,” Killian finishes, standing to his mom’s side as they look around. Henry sighs. 

He can imagine cosy nights learning all about the position of the stars and their stories while they lie in comfy blankets and drink hot cocoa. And in the warm months, after a day of swimming, they could see how different the sky looks in summer. He realises he’s expecting Killian to stay until the coming year and it brings him out of his fantasies. 

Despite the man’s promises and assurances, Henry can’t help but feel like there’s something more. Something about Killian Jones that feels…wrong. That’s not the right word…

“Would you like a tour below deck?”

Killian’s offer startles him out of his spiralling thoughts. He pushes them away - let’s himself believe that he’s not as deeply screwed as he actually is. Henry nods quickly, what is he gonna say? No? It’s a pirate ship!

They follow Killian as he lights the way below deck. They see the galley - retrofitted to look modern and with a large table in the middle of the room - the storage room with shelves full of food and other non-perishables, and the officers’ and crew’s quarters.

“Or it would have been had I any crew or officers,” Killian chuckles, gesturing towards the doors. “Maybe you can choose one of them for yourself?” There was a hopeful look on his face and Henry felt his mother’s hand tighten its hold on his shoulder. 

The fast beating of his heart is dangerously fast and he wonders if she can feel it in her palm. 

So much for putting away those thoughts. 

“Maybe we can talk about that another time,” his mother suggests, sparing him an answer.

“Of course, of course,” Killian is quick to dismiss his idea. 

Henry is glad for it and even more glad when the adults act as if the question was never posed in the first place. They all ignore the hint of tension below the decks of the ship as Killian shows them where the pirates used to store their guns and where the crew would row the ship if the sails didn’t work. 

“And last but certainly, not least,” Killian’s bright grin is back and Henry tries to ignore the warmth in his chest at seeing it. “The Captain’s quarters.”

He opens the door to a large room, helping them down the few steps before hooking the lantern on an overhead hook. A large bed takes up the back wall, perfectly placed under the rectangular window. There are trinkets strewn about in a precise way in the window sill. A book shelf takes over the left side of the room while a table and a high-winged chair take over the right side. It’s all meticulously clean and tidy, so much like its Captain.

“Do you live here?”

“Aye,” Killian leans on his desk with a proud smile. ”A home fit for a pirate Captain.”

Emma chuckles before she crosses her arms to look at him. “Don’t know how well you’ll do when winter comes along, Captain.”

“Yeah, but at least he’ll be sleeping on a pirate ship,” Henry points out and beams when Killian smiles proudly at him as well as pointing a finger in his direction. He takes another look around. “Why is it so dark in here?”

Henry notes the drawn curtains just like he’d noticed it in the other rooms. Despite the bright full moon outside, none of its natural light made its way inside the ship. 

“Oh,” Killian immediately stands upright to open the curtains, letting the moonlight filter in.

“Our Captain is a bit of a nocturnal creature,” Emma teases and Killian scratches behind his ear.

“I sleep during the day,” he explains. “I can’t have that pesky sun ruin my plans.”

Henry chuckles with them even as a thought tries to worm its way into his mind. The moonlight reflects on a globe with a strange town inside it and he takes a closer look at it.

“Are these from all the places you’ve been?”

“Aye.” Killian stands at his side as he carefully straightens a ceramic bowl. “Some of my prized possessions.”

A small frame stands between a colourful seashell and a cross made of a soft light brown grass. There’s a young boy with curly hair next to what he thinks is a person. The being is blurry and burned, the only thing visible is an arm wrapped around the man’s shoulders.

“Who’s this?”

Killian clears his throat next to him and when he looks, a muscle is popping on his cheek due to the clenching of his jaw. “That was my brother, Liam.”  

“Oh.” Henry looks back at the picture, giving Killian some privacy with his emotions. Emma’s presence is silent behind them but, from the corner of his eye, he sees her place her hand on Killian’s shoulder. “You have the same eyes. Who’s next to him?”

“That’s me.” Henry frowns and leans forward to look at the picture better. Killian chuckles at the movement and the weight on Henry’s chest lightens at the sound. “Well, it was me. Water damage.”

“You don’t have any more pictures?”

“None that depict my devilishly handsome looks.” The smirk on his lips is softer than it had been before but it still brings a lightness to his bearing. 

“Not that this one does you much justice.” Emma grins and there’s a heat to Killian’s eyes when he looks back at her.

“I’ve never gotten complaints before.”

“You never forget your first.” She winks and Henry marvels at how light she looks. No matter how happy his mother has always looked when it’s just the two of them, this is a side of her he hasn’t seen before. It’s good.

They stay for another hour. They talk about music - he discovers Killian knows how to waltz and watches while his mother is being led around the cabin to the sounds of “A Thousand Years” from his phone - about sweets and how Killian has never tried a Pop-Tart much to Emma’s shock. Henry even secures some sword fighting lessons for himself, under the assurance that no actual blades will be used. 

“Not for now, at least,” Killian adds with a wink that is covered by a cough when he notices Emma’s narrowed eyes and hands on her hips. “No actual blades, Swan, deal.”

Henry giggles at his mother’s exasperated huff. “I made a big mistake,” she mumbles with no real heat behind it.

They say goodbye to Killian after they descend the gangplank. His mom shares a quick kiss with him - in a way that shows their affection but without making him feel like he wants to disappear. Killian ruffles his hair and promises that they’ll start their lessons soon. Before they leave, Emma invites him for dinner at their place the next day. The other two try to hide their surprise, Killian’s morphs into delight whereas Henry tries to simply express his approval.

His mother wraps an arm around his shoulders as they walk away from the ship, feeling Killian’s eyes on them as they do. She smiles down at him when he looks up at her.

“So, kid,” She starts, trying to hide the concern he can see in her green eyes. “What did you think of Killian?”

“He’s cool,” Henry shrugs even as he smiles at Emma’s beaming grin. “He’s good.” 

Too good.

---

Henry enters the bus to school after a kiss to his head from his mother and a wave. Just like every morning he has to go to school, Emma will head to the station for her shift while he goes to school and then takes himself home at the end of the day and waits for Emma to get back.

Despite the opinions of most 13-year-olds, Henry likes school. He likes learning, likes the friends he’s made since they’ve moved to town and he especially loves to have Violet around. 

But he is, for the lack of better word, distracted. 

His teachers call his attention more times than they ever had to - which is significant when they have never had to - and his notebooks are littered with nonsensical scribbles or doodles as opposed to his usual meticulous notes. Violet’s exasperated huff in the middle of her retelling of her weekend of horse riding with her father finally brings everything to a halt.

“I think my mom’s new boyfriend is a vampire.”

Henry tells Violet his Sunday activities - promising to listen to hers afterwards - and he begs for her to use her all-knowing vampire knowledge to prove him right or wrong. He doesn’t tell her that he hopes he’s wrong, he really wants to be wrong.

But Violet presses her lips together when he’s done and his heart feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest, like that alien from that movie he promised his mom he didn’t watch during a sleepover at Ava and Nicholas’ for their birthday - their dad is new at this but after Nicholas almost puked from fear, he got better at it. But that’s not the fear that’s making him almost puke all over the lunch table.

“What?”

“You need to be careful,” Violet bites her lip and he sucks in a breath. “Your mom must already be in his thrall, did you know vampires can hypnotise people? But you are not.”

“She needs my help.” Henry’s eyes are wide and panicked and Violet takes hold of his hands. “What do I do?”

“Take a deep breath, you can’t panic.” Henry does as she says and she rubs her thumbs over his knuckles. “If he hasn’t done anything until now, you’re probably in luck, he’s taking his time.” Violet’s shoulders set in determination and he sees the awesome girl that impressed him when they first met. “I have a plan.”

---

After school, safely at home, Henry is prepared and waiting.

He didn’t dare distract himself with video games or books, simply rehearsing what he wanted to tell his mother as soon as she arrived. There was probably a dip in the carpet due to his pacing route back and forth in the living room. 

The door opens and he startles despite the fact that it’s exactly the time his mom usually gets home. Come on, Henry, get your head in the game.

“Okay, I-Shit!” his mom huffs from the door as she stumbles. There are two thumps against the hall before the door closes from taking her boots off. “I got us food from Bella Notte for dinner, it’s too late to cook anything and you know how I love their-”

Emma startles when she sees him standing in the middle of the living room, hair probably a mess from how much he ran his fingers through it and pulled. His mouth is parted and his eyes are wide and he must look like he’s seen a ghost.

“H-hey,” she says carefully, putting the bags down on the kitchen counter without taking her eyes off him. “Are you okay?”

Henry takes a deep breath and she looks even more worried. “No.” He shakes his head when she tries to put her hands on his shoulders and points to the couch in front of him. “You need to sit down.”

She does so in a worried daze, putting her hands on her knees and he sees the panic in her eyes that he saw the day she caught him crying in his room. “Okay, I’m sitting. What’s going on?”

He takes another deep breath, letting it fill his chest before letting it out. “Killian is a vampire.”

That wasn’t what Emma was expecting, clearly, and she shakes her head with her brow pulled low in a frown. “What?”

“Killian is a vampire,” Henry repeats and resumes his pacing back and forth on the living room floor. “You probably don’t realise it because he has you in his thrall, probably because you kissed,” His nose scrunches up in displeasure now. “But he is dangerous and I need to keep you safe.”

“Henry,” Emma sighs and starts to stand from the couch. “Kid-”

“No.” Henry carefully pushes her back down to sitting, his eyes wider as they look into hers and she is taken aback by the resolve in his eyes. “I need you to come out of it, Mom.” He sighs and takes a step back putting his hands on his hips. “You’re a cop so you care about proof; I’m going to give you proof.”

“Henry-”

“First, he doesn’t eat garlic.” Henry ignores her and starts ticking off fingers. “Vampires don’t eat garlic either. Second, he doesn’t know his birthday. Yeah, he has an answer for it but it’s still suspicious.” Emma frowns and opens her mouth but he carries on. “Because now he can’t prove he’s not from, like, the 18th century! You even noticed the way he talks, he was clearly turned like centuries ago.

“Then we have the dark room. He didn’t even notice until I pointed it out because he’s so used to avoiding the sun!”

“He has a tan.”

Henry continues, not noticing her mumble, focusing only on her concerned eyes and parted mouth. “And then, and then his hands! They were cold when we shook them, and yeah, it was cold, but they were really, really cold. There was also the picture, Mom,” His voice grows desperate without him noticing, high pitched and he isn’t sure when he took a proper breath. “How is it possible that only his part of the picture got ruined? And he doesn’t have more? He clearly can’t be photographed, Mom!”

“Henry!” He sucks in a breath, effectively shutting up, when Emma stands in front of him, hands heavy on his shoulder and frightened eyes on his. “Do you hear what you’re saying, kid?”

“I’m right, Mom, I promise.” His voice is quiet, the desperation in his making his mother’s eyes grow more panicked. “There were bats!”

“What?”

“Before he showed up at Granny’s, I saw bats! They flew behind the ice cream shop and not a second later, Killian appeared!” Her hands cup his cheeks and he grabs her wrists tightly. “It’s true, you need to get out of his spell.”

Emma sighs and he clenches his fists over her wrists. “Henry-”

A knock on the door startles the two of them and they both look towards the door.

“That’s him, Mom,” Henry whisper-yells, tightening his grip when her hands slacken. “You didn’t invite him in already, right?”

“He’s been here before, kid.” She sighs and cups his cheeks again before turning to the door. “It’s open!” The door opens.

“No, no!” Careful shuffling at the entrance masks his quiet begging he feels for his back pocket.

“Shh, kid, it’s okay,” she soothes, thumbs caressing his cheeks.

“I hope I’m not too early, I got-” Killian quiets himself as he finds the two of them in the living room. “Is everything alright?” His eyes go from Emma to Henry and his frown grows.

“Yeah,” Emma nods, glancing back at Killian before returning to Henry. “I just need to talk to my son. Think you can go to my room and-” 

But Henry doesn’t let her finish and pulls out the wooden stake Violet helped him make after school. He couldn’t let Killian get out of his sight. He ignores Emma’s calls of his name and focuses only on Killian’s wide eyes. He needs to stop this!

He takes a few steps towards the vampire before a crash and a curse behind him diverts both his and Killian’s attention to Emma. There are flowers on the floor and his mom’s hand is quickly pulled back from the broken glass of a tall cup she’d used as a vase - she ran into the table in her efforts to get to him. Emma is holding her wrist and he sees the red blood in her palm.

“Mom! A-Are you bleeding?” His eyes are wide in panic and he holds up the stake even higher when Killian takes a step towards them, eyes on her hand.

“Yeah, kid,” she sighs. “But it’s going to be okay, I promise.”

Killian starts walking around Henry. “Swan, let me-” 

“No!” His frightened yell causes them both to stop and look at him. “You’re not getting close to my mom. If you hurt her, I’ll-I’ll stake you!” His hand shakes as it grips the wooden stake. 

“Henry, please.” Emma takes a couple of steps towards him and Henry sees how Killian can’t keep his eyes on him, looking instead at Emma’s wound. “Killian is not a vampire.” There’s a startled expression on the man’s face, looking between Emma and Henry now. “He is just trying to help me.”

“A-aye, lad, I have a first aid certification,” he explains in a dazed tone, surprised at being caught, he’s sure. “That’s all.” He raises his hands in defence.

“No.” His voice wobbles and his vision gets blurry. He feels a tear run down his cheek. “There’s something wrong with him, Mom, there has to be!”

Emma sucks in a breath and Killian’s eyes widen impossibly more. He can’t look away from the understanding in the eyes of the man in front of him, the way his shoulders tense in a different way and Henry feels something loosen inside him. As his mom moves in front of him, Killian takes a couple of steps back, almost like a coordinated move. She easily takes the stake from his trembling hand with her uninjured one and drops it to the ground.

“Henry,” she breathes out and that’s all it takes for him to bury his face in her chest, sobbing as his arms wrap around her waist.

They move to the couch between his loud hiccuping sobs and when they calm down into sniffles. Emma’s hand moves slowly, reassuringly, up and down his back and she speaks low in his ear, comforting, patient words. His arms tighten around her and he hides his face on her neck when his breathing calms but none of them move beside that.

“Henry,” Emma tries again, speaking calmly, and when he doesn’t interrupt, she pulls away so she can look into his eyes. “Do you think we can have a conversation now?”

He nods and feels his chest tighten in shame when he notices how Killian sits patiently in a chair parallel to the couch, his right hand slowly caressing through his short beard. He is giving them a sense of privacy, not reacting to Emma’s voice and not looking at them, lost in thought. He needs to apologise.

His mom’s hand on his cheek brings his attention back to her and he notices how there’s a bandage around her previously injured hand. He guesses Killian must have taken care of it during his tantrum and he feels the weight in his chest grow heavier. 

“Kid,” Emma’s voice is quiet as she urges him to look back at her, her eyes are understanding and calm despite the pain beneath them. “We could not have known that Walsh was such a horrible guy. You could not have known and it wasn’t your job to protect me.” Her words are final, without a chance for debate, and he can only nod. “He hurt us, he was a horrible guy but he is gone. Not everyone is going to hurt us like he did.” Henry nods again, he remembers his mother saying how she was going to be more careful with the people she brought around them.

“I-I’m sorry,” he whispers and closes his eyes in shame.

“You’re forgiven, kid,” Her fingers rub against his cheek and he leans into it unconsciously. “I thought we could just leave all the shit he did to us in the past but I forgot to talk to you about it. To make sure you were ready.”

“I kept comparing them,” he confesses and his mother’s brow furrows in sorrow even as she nods. “I think I liked the time we spent together so much that I remembered when we first met him. How it was all too good to be true, how Killian was too good to be true.”

Emma glances towards the man in the chair and Henry feels his eyes on him but he can’t look back. Can’t bring himself to face how much he screwed up their relationship. 

“Actually, kid?” His mom lets out a small, ironic chuckle and Henry looks up at her in surprise. “I know exactly how you feel. I actually put my gun to Killian’s head when we first met.” There’s a soft chuckle from the couch and Emma’s cheeks turn pink. “That’s why it took me so long to introduce you two, because he was too good to be true. Even if I knew by, like, the third day, that I was in love with him.”

A sharp intake of breath comes from the couch this time and his mom’s cheeks turn a deep shade of red. But mother and son keep looking at each other. “You did? Weren’t you scared?”

“Terrified,” Emma confesses, a soft smile on her face. “But sometimes we have to put fear behind us and let people in. We have to allow ourselves the chance to love and be loved.”

Henry’s nose scrunches up. “That sounds like something Aunt Mary Margaret would say.”

Emma laughs and his chest doesn’t feel as tight or heavy. “Yeah, I might have asked for her help on this.”

Henry sighs. “I’m really sorry, Mom, I didn’t mean-”

“I think you’ve apologised enough to me, kid.” She stops him gently with an encouraging smile before gesturing with her head towards the man still quietly sitting on the chair.

He takes a deep breath before turning on the couch, wringing his hands on his lap. Killian looks at him with a patient look on his face. “I’m sorry, Killian.” He is looking so kindly at him that he feels his eyes watering, how can he deserve this? His mom resumes her caresses on his back. “This didn’t have anything to do with you but I hurt you and that was wrong of me, I’m really sorry.”

Killian stands from the chair and crouches in front of him. His hands are holding each other with his elbows on his knees. “A long time ago,” Killian starts in a calm tone before chuckling and correcting. “20 years ago, not centuries.” Emma snorts next to him and Henry feels his cheeks burning. “My father abandoned both me and my brother in the middle of the night. There was a short circuit in the fuse and it caused our house to burn down.”

“I lost my brother and my father on the same day.” His tone is quiet, mournful and he can’t look away from the pain reflected in the blue of his eyes. “I had the chance to reunite with my father a few years ago and I let my hurt stop me from trying. I know how it is to sabotage your relationships because of your wounds.

“But,” Killian’s lips curve up in a small smile and he takes hold of Henry’s hands. His hands are so warm. That remaining weight on his chest vanishes. “I can promise you that it’s going to take a lot more to push me away.”

“I’m sorry that I tried,” Henry whispers and Killian nods. 

“You’re forgiven, my boy.” Henry feels his eyes water and his shoulders relax at his words. “I know what that man did to the two of you and, while I never thought to be compared to a vampire, I knew I had to take that into account when I met you.” Killian’s cheeks turn red and he scratches at the back of his ear. “I just think I got too ahead of myself yesterday. Truth is, I’ve always wanted a family,” he confesses, his eyes glancing between his and Emma’s. “Meeting you two made it all too real and I think I got too desperate so if I-”

Henry doesn’t let him finish what he thinks is going to be an apology to his own apology and lunges at him for a hug. Killian stumbles and ends up falling on his butt. But he doesn’t care, he simply tightens his arms around his neck and relaxes when he feels Killian’s arms just as tight around him. “I want you to be part of our family too,” he confesses and hears a sniffle from behind him. “Especially now that I know you’re not a vampire.”

His words make them all chuckle, like he hoped they would, even as there are tears gathering at their eyes. “It’s an honour to be a part of this family, my boy.” His hand running up and down his back feels just as good as his mother’s and he grins.

“Okay,” His mother’s voice is watery and they separate to watch as she wipes under her eyes with the back of her hand. “Now that it’s all solved, we should eat.”

“Aye, I’m starving,” Killian grins. “There’s not that many people in Storybrooke who let me drink their blood.”

Emma rolls her eyes with a smirk while Henry laughs embarrassedly. “I’m never leaving this down, am I?”

“Not likely, lad.” Killian ruffles his hair and even though he huffs and puffs, Henry thinks he might like the idea of being teased by the man, especially if it means he’ll stick around for a long time.

“Come on,” Emma helps them both up from the floor and while Henry lets go of her hand as soon as he’s standing, Killian doesn’t. “Let’s eat.”

“Actually,” Killian glances towards Henry asking for permission and for some reason, Henry thinks he just might know what he wants. He nods. “There’s something I need to do first.”

Emma frowns confused. “Huh?”

Before she can get an answer, Killian pulls her to him for a kiss. He keeps it soft but it’s clearly full of love and his mom lets out a hum. Henry thinks he should look away but he basks in the sight of their love.

“What was that for?” she mumbles when they separate.

“I love you too,” Killian confesses in a quiet tone, eyes on hers, and Henry feels that last piece of the puzzle slot into place.

Her smile is wide and she kisses him again, a press of lips due to how wide both of them smile. His phone buzzes on the table, no longer full of glass shards, and it catches all of their attention.

“Your phone keeps buzzing, kid, what’s that about?”

Henry frowns in confusion before a metaphorical lightbulb flashes above his head and his eyes widen. “Oh crap!” He dives for his phone and starts tapping at it frantically. 

“What is it?”

“That was Violet,” he answers, pressing his lips together to stop from saying more. His mother raises an eyebrow to incentivize him. “She was my second line of defence.” 

Killian seems to understand before his mother and he can see how he is seconds away from bursting into laughter. “What do you mean?” his mother asks. 

“Well, she was going to bring holy water…”

There’s a moment of silence before they all succumb to hysterical laughter. 

Maybe Killian is too good to be true. But as Henry laughs with his family, he thinks his aunt is right - he’ll put the fear behind him and allow himself to be loved.

[furiousgoldfish]

I have this reoccurring problem where I feel like I've found a friend in someone, and then some time later, this person does something to hurt me, and rather than apologizing, they snap at me, act like I'm awful and a nuisance to them, and generally get very angry with me. First it makes me feel guilty, and I go over everything I did to see how I deserved this, but then I realize I didn't do anything, they just hurt me and snapped at me, made me feel like it's my fault. And then I get scared that this person could do that, because I can't even imagine doing that to anyone, it's so deeply unethical and shitty, but people do it like it's their second nature. Once I realize that this person scares me, I know I have to get distance and move away from the friendship if I don't want to live a very anxious and triggering life, so I do that. And thus I have no friends anymore.

Now for me, this occurred easily over 30 or 40 times with different people, to the point where I've started to wonder if I maybe draw this behaviour out of them. Because I will usually pick people who I believe would never do that, who seem to be kind, understanding, gentle, funny, easy going, I go for that almost every time, and still they snap at me. I'm wondering if it's because everyone in their mind thinks there's one person somewhere they're allowed to snap at, and since I'm very mild tempered, easy going and understanding, it feels to them like snapping at me couldn’t possibly have any consequences?  Again, I don't understand this, I would rather never snap at any person in my life.

My problem is that sometimes, I end up very bonded to these people, and I start building hope that maybe I could be normal, have friends, function in society, just because it feels for a bit like I'm accepted, I'm allowed to socialize and chat and joke around and tell things to someone, and this means the world to me. I've lived in an environment where I was not allowed any of that. So when these specific people snap at me, my hopes crumble to the ground, and I'm back into the place where I don't feel like I'm a person anymore. Even worse, I get triggered back into my childhood, where my parents screamed at me telling me how disgusting I am, how nobody will ever want anything to do with me, and how I'm the worst thing to ever exist on the planet. That's how I end up feeling when anyone turns against me, or abandons me. I keep it to myself, because I don't want the triggers affecting the friendship. But they affect me deeply.

That feeling of someone I care about finding me disgusting and awful and poisonous gives me so much pain I want to curl up and disappear. I want to not exist anymore. I would rather be alone forever than experience more of that. And that's exactly what I do; I curl up in my own little corner and don't socialize out of terror that more of this will happen, because it does happen so often and I still never see it coming.

I know on some deeply logical level, that people are snapping at me because it's easier for them to do that than to face that they've done something wrong, that they've hurt our friendships and acted badly towards me; they need it to be my fault so they'd feel better about themselves. Taking it out on me is just an easy route because I have zero vindication in me and probably won't ever snap back or get angry in return; I'll just withdraw. I'm always too worried I've genuinely done something wrong when it happens, I'll apologize a thousand times, I'll spend a while trying to figure out what's the truth, and then before I even think about getting angry, I'll be swallowed by pain and sorrow that this happened to me again.

Has anyone found any ways to have people not snap at you when they hurt you? What kind of change in attitude would achieve this? Do I just have bad friend-picking skills? Is this just a normal part of life that other people can handle because being snapped on doesn't make them suicidal? Is it considered normal that your friend will sometimes snap at you when they hurt you? Is it not a glaring red flag? In some cases people will not only snap but also gaslight me about what happened, and I know gaslighting is way over the line. Has this been happening to others? Please give me any opinions or experiences of this, especially if you found a way to deal with it.

[tarucore]

screenshotting this one bc I can acknowledge that I’ve got shipper goggles on and op isn’t about that life which is fair but

I feel like batfam fans misunderstand the term parentification a lot and conflate it with Dick filling a parental role for his siblings, which might be part of the “oldest daughter syndrome” that’s so often pinned on him but that isn’t what parentification actually means

If I say that Dick Grayson was parentified, then that isn’t referring to him taking care of his siblings, it refers to the way Bruce treated him. As someone capable of taking care of his emotional needs and not as the child in need of care in the relationship

Parentification is a term that’s been around for decades, and while having to care for younger siblings might be a part of the definition, it focuses mostly on the role reversal of the parent-child dynamic. I’m not going to get into the psychology of it but being parentified has very little to do with if he actually acted as a parent for his siblings and everything to do with if he acted as a parent for Bruce

This is honestly why I prefer the term spouseification, which is less ambiguous than the term parentification and I feel accurately describes their “equal” relationship and the type of emotional abuse that Dick went through

Also from what I’ve read, Dick doesn’t act as a parental figure for any of his siblings except for Damian. While he might have given extra emotional support to Tim due to Bruce being Bruce, Dick still fits solidly into an older brother role. I’m not even going to touch on Dick’s relationship with Jason which is too weak to even be considered fraternal never mind parental

[sophieinwonderland]

So far, this conversation about RAMCOA, the ISSTD and the False Memory Syndrome Foundation has been weirdly lacking in takes from the ISSTD and the victims of the FMSF

I think a lot of people in syscourse are only being told one side of the story, and don't currently know about the memory wars from the perspective of the other side. So why not hear from the current doctor running the RAMCOA special interest group?

Here is the response of Dr. Jennifer Freyd, whose parents founded the FMSF after Dr. Jennifer Freyd accused her father of sexual assault, to that thread.

Here's another thread from Michael Salter discussing how the FMSF pushed the Satanic Panic narrative hard to discredit all survivors of CSA.

And I want to stop to mention here that undermining allegations of sexual abuse by labeling them as SRA to discredit them is exactly what the anti-RAMCOA people have been doing on here recently. Conflating SRA with RAMCOA in general to discredit RAMCOA as a whole.

I also want to mention that the first victim of the FMSF, Dr. Jennifer Freyd, did not accuse her parents of being involved in any sort of cult. But jumping hard on the SRA narrative to boost their False Memory Syndrome claims made it easier for them to discredit their daughter.

There are two sides to the RAMCOA debate. On the one side, you have victims of extreme trauma and a group of doctors who have dedicated their lives to helping those victims.

On the other side...

You have the False Memory Syndrome Foundation that was founded by accused child molesters to defend accused child molesters and discredit victims.

You have the Satanic Temple's Grey Faction which was founded to fuel the narrative of Satanists being victimized, using False Memory Syndrome rhetoric and reviving Satanic Panic claims to fuel their own victim complexes.

Then you have this latest bunch from r/systemscringe, a hate group whose motives don't seem to go any further than mocking systems because they enjoy hurting people.

This is a narrative that for the past 30 years, and has been consistently backed by the worst excuses for human beings on the planet.

And I am incredibly disappointed with anyone who has let themselves be manipulated into buying into the anti-RAMCOA talking points.

[tallerthantale]

On False Memories

There is another moment around Scarlett's allegations I want to expand on. It does come from bits where Tortoise is doing the pseudo attribution thing, so keep in mind we don't have the exact wording used by Gaiman or his lawyers, we have Tortoise's characterization of what has been said. I am going to go forward on the working assumption that it is a generally accurate representation of what was said to Tortoise.

"Rachel Johnson: Neil Gaiman’s account suggests we should treat Scarlett’s allegations with caution, as they first surfaced when she was hospitalized, he says, for the treatment of a condition that’s associated with false memories. But we know her allegations pre-date her admission to hospital. Scarlett’s medical records also show us that Neil Gaiman’s claim that Scarlett has a serious preexisting medical condition to be false. According to her records, she presented as a genuinely high risk of suicide and was discharged after recovering overnight.

Rachel Johnson: There’s no mention, even in her previous medical history, of any condition like the one Neil Gaiman claimed in his account. The only medication she was on was the sleeping pill Zopiclone."

The things about this series of claims that jump out at me might be a bit different than what other people would be paying attention to, so I want to explain what stands out to me and why. But we are going to need to do a little bit of background first. Getting into this is a big ass can of worms, but I'm going to see if I can do a bit of a cliff notes version.

The underlying issue is that a propensity to develop 'false memories' is a disposition that all humans have. That's just normal brain functioning. It isn't a condition you will find in diagnostic manuals because it is the condition of being a human. It's hard for people to process and accept that knowledge, because everyone hates it. Doesn't make it any less true. Functionally everything you consciously remember is a post hoc reconstruction to suit the needs of your current situation.

Under normal circumstances this does not account for things like spontaneously constructing major sexual assaults into existence. That's not a thing, but not having the memory in the front of your conscious experience for years, and then remembering that you have that memory later when it's triggered is a thing.

For most people, most of the time, the shifts of constructed memories are things like your brain not bothering to pay attention to what color someone's shirt was, and making it up later to have a cohesive memory. It would account for something like a person thinking they said no louder than they did, which shouldn't be relevant anyway. It could account for thinking you stated a boundary very clearly, but when you look at the message later it's actually ambiguous.

Ideally, the needs of the current situation are to remember what actually did happen. Unfortunately memory can be highly vulnerable to suggestion in the name of preserving continuity. This why police will do things like shouting "stop resisting" while beating up someone who isn't resisting. People absolutely will form a memory of the person resisting to make it make sense. Not because they have a specific condition, because that's how brains work. The counter to this is for the general public to understand that it 'makes sense' for the police to engage in that deceptive strategy. Once that is widely known bystanders will be more likely to remember the events for what they were.

In moments of high emotional distress people's minds generally prioritize 'making myself feel better' as the main need of the current situation. What it makes a person feel better to remember is going to be very context dependent. One day it might be what validates seeing themselves as a victim, the next it might make them feel better to frame themselves as in control of the situation by seeing themselves as a villain. Both genuine victims and genuine perpetrators can cycle through both perceptions. Shifting reframing of memory to form a narrative can occur to all sorts of things in all sorts of scenarios. These are examples of what's called cognitive distortions. Learning about how they work does not prevent them from happening. They exist in all people. Yes, even you, yes, even me.

However, if a person's emotional regulation is shit, and / or they are stuck in a childlike mode of emotional development, these mechanisms can be more dramatic and reaching. One of the most common folk psychology (popularly believed psychology misinformation) things I run into is people attributing cognitive distortions solely and specifically to people with Cluster B personality disorders.

I see a lot of people start learning about Cluster B and then very quickly start seeing signs of Cluster B everywhere. I think that is because they are largely learning from people who fixate on 'warning about of the dangers of Cluster B people,' describe Cluster B mostly in terms of cognitive distortions, and then frame those cognitive distortions as more or less 'the thing Cluster B people do.' People who get their information from that sort of content start looking IRL and immediately see them everywhere, but it's because literally everyone has cognitive distortions all the time.

My first impression of the "condition associated with false memories" line was that it looked to me like Gaiman was trying to claim that Scarlett was a narcissist and / or borderline off of a poor understanding of those conditions. If Gaiman thinks false memories are 'the thing Cluster B people do,' Gaiman using that narrative fits with claiming she was hospitalized on suicide risk due to the condition and him associating the condition with false memories.

I didn't see anything in the fake therapist's videos or ramblings that looked like he was in the dark triad fandom, (my name for people with strong folk psychology attitudes about Cluster B personality disorders) but it is certainly possible he is. The book that conspicuously popped up on Neil's... amazon reading list? something like that? a while back was a book about getting out of relationships with narcissists.

The other side of the false memories issue is that certain types of hypnotherapists claim to be able to recover memories of childhood abuse through hypnotism. This is a very bad idea to try to do for multiple reasons. While there is evidence that these hypnotherapies result in a person having more memories after than they did before, those memories are post hoc reconstructions, because that is what all memories are. And those post hoc reconstructions are vulnerable to suggestion, particularly surrounding the needs of the immediate situation and continuity.

If the explicit goal of the therapy is to hypnotize a person into a heightened state of vulnerability to suggestion specifically so that they can remember a specific thing, there is little reason to believe any particular memory 'recovered' by a hypnotherapist has anything to do with reality. What ads another layer to the horrifying is that since there is no neurological difference between a false memory and a real one, a hypnotherapist 'recovering' false memories of trauma will create trauma that is just a real as if those things did actually happen.

Neil's fake therapist and the communities he is connected to might have some overlap with the people who still think hypnotherapists doing traumatic memory recovery is a good idea. it's the flavor of pseudoscience they seem to be running on. It is also possible he is more aware of the dangers of hypnotherapists because he has encountered them and bothered to do a bit of reading.

Since he is not actually a real mental health professional and is in community with pseudoscientists, he could have ended up with an overinflated sense of how common hypnotherapist nonsense is, and he may not realize how much policy and training and best practices go into preventing real mental health professionals that work at hospitals from planting suggested memories.

From his own message to Scarlett, he was wildly reckless as to the risk that he might be planting suggestions himself, (assuming that wasn't the intention) in ways a trained professional would know not to do. While many things about him set off red flags, this point was the biggest, and what made me immediately inclined to prompt a license review, which started the 'he doesn't actually have one' rabbit hole.

"A condition associated with false memories" sounds to me like they are trying to diagnose her with a Cluster B personality disorder. Trying to time the origin of the claims to the hospitalization could be an argument that Scarlett was implanted with false memories of the content of the allegations by irresponsible crisis workers. It looks to me like the reasoning of a person who read a few bits and pieces of real things in isolation and put them together into a dangerously inaccurate mess. Which is the sort of thing that can happen when unqualified people LARP as therapists. Or as Cluster B experts.

If the "condition associated with false memories" claim is referring to Cluster B and tracks back to Wayne and his phone call with Scarlett, that would be very gross on a lot of levels. Wayne is not qualified to do that, you really can't diagnose personality disorders off a single session even if you are qualified, Wayne had a preexisting investment in the situation before talking to Scarlett, Wayne did not have her as a proper client, Wayne would have been passing information about his opinions on Scarlett to a different person after claiming to be speaking in confidence, ect.... I can't say if that's what happened, but if it did happen I would have some choice words to say to him about that. On top of the ones I already have.

There is a conversation between a civil lawyer and a psychologist about a lot of these topics on youtube from when they were looking at the Marylin Manson case. It goes over a lot of the issues around false memories if people want to listen through it. It's a bit over an hour. I have mixed feelings about the lawyer in question, (and you probably don't want to look at the chat) but the psychologist is very qualified and knows what he's talking about.

[jekinabox]

some rambles on my takes on Curly from Mouthwashing

I understand that a lot of people see Curly’s reaction to Anya telling him about her SA and what he did after as him ignoring it for Jimmy’s sake- and maybe that’s true, the point could very well be that people (especially those close to the abuser, especially men) will just set that kind of thing aside because the abuser “wouldn’t do that” or “will be better” or whatever, especially because Swansea ends up doing the same thing when Anya tells him, as well as the consistent theming of responsibility and trying to fix things.

But I think that maybe there’s more to it? If you don’t, feel free to look away, this is just my thoughts and take. But I think If the story is about SA and the consequences of not rooting the people out, I don’t understand what Diasuke’s role in it could be, so that just isn’t the moral of the story that I see. Of course, if this is how you see the story, that’s ok! People can have different views on media, and art is as much about people’s different responses to it as it is about what the creators meant.

Onto my little ramblings about the guy!

1- I think it’s very probable that Curly’s been manipulated by Jimmy, and for a long time. They’re “best friends,” and Curly believes Jimmy “won’t try that bullshit with me” even though he clearly does. Even at the birthday party, Jimmy is uncaring to his “best friend,” and during the confrontation near the cockpit, Jimmy outright twists what Curly’s said in the past. (Not to mention what he does to Curly afterward, but that doesn’t exactly count since it’s afterward.) I also wouldn’t be surprised if Jimmy helped Curly out of some situation in the past due to his savior complex and Curly now feels like he owes Jimmy something. It’d be easy for him to overlook Jimmy’s smaller problems if he feels he owes Jimmy something, especially if it’s something bigger, and he seems more of the “deal with it” kind of person anyways, so he’d obviously toss any grievances aside since he thinks everyone needs multiple chances. At first, Jimmy probably unsettled him. But he got used to it, just like his job. He deals with it for the last day, then another, then another.

2- Curly seems legitimately concerned when Anya tells him about everything, at least when he gets confirmation. We don’t see much after the she asks him about the locks on the doors, and we don’t see how much he actually learns, and thus no clue as to how bad he believes the situation may be (Harassment is nothing to scoff at, but if he just believes someone’s being a creep or annoying her, he’s obviously going to try to learn more and deescalate before anything else.) We also never see how much or what they say when she asks for the gun, but what we know is that Curly is freaking out when he thinks she has it, and actually believes it at first to be that she wants to kill herself due to the recent termination of their jobs. He’s first confused, then after her few words of explanation says he’ll talk to Jimmy. We never see an actual talk, but he learns definitively of what happened only “1 day before the crash,” and it takes time to sort through emotions, plans, and decisions, let alone when someone you thought was good did something like that and if you realize that they were a shitty person all along. Curly also then needs to decide what they’re going to do with Jimmy (they can’t lock him in the cockpit or medical because they need those, nor the hold because he would obviously mess up whatever they’re shipping as a hissy fit against them, and considering you get pay docked for complaining, using the cryopod or the gun would probably make this whole deal worthless for practically everyone.) Even if he did decide to just get rid of Jimmy, he’s not going to tell anyone that in case Jimmy finds out, and especially not Anya, since she seems forgiving enough and in a bad enough spot he has no clue what she may try to do if he tells her “I’m going to go kill Jimmy.”

3- Inaction and not taking responsibility doesn’t feel like Curly’s issue. Curly has the responsibility of everything on the ship, even baking a cake, and even when told not to tell his crew about the loss of their jobs, he still does. He even takes roles that aren’t his, like doing Jimmy’s psych evaluation when he sees Anya’s uncomfortable. This is why he and Jimmy are the two characters we play as, and are seen as opposites and each other’s foils. Jimmy’s whole thing is unreliable narration. By the end of the game, he’s convinced himself Curly crashed the ship and he’s the better man for leaving Curly alive after what he “did.” Jimmy’s an aggressive man who uses people for just what they can give him, and he causes problems for the express purpose of trying to fix him so people worship him, but messes up even with all the time in the world to “fix” things. Curly’s the one blamed, but he’s a genuine guy who tried his best and gave people the benefit of the doubt until he couldn’t anymore, but didn’t have the time to fix anything because Jimmy broke that chance.

4- My main bit is over, but another piece of his psychology- Curly probably hates himself, considering how Jimmy talks about him seeming like he’s at the edge of a bridge with cinderblocks on his feet, and if he hates himself, a way he may try to cope is by insisting everyone isn’t tied to their worst moments! Just like how he talks about how pain is a symbol one’s alive, which sounds like another coping mechanism. Jimmy isn’t the only one who hopes it hurts.

5- And Curly was right, most of the time, about how bad things don’t define people. Swansea’s rude and abrasive at times, but a pretty good man in a bad life. Diasuke was unplanned for the journey, but he’s a good intern who’s trying his best. Anya may have only completed the Pony Express medical course, but she keeps Curly alive for four months, even despite his quadruple amputations and missing skin and the complete lack of a lot of medical equipment that she could’ve used. The unfortunate thing is- his kind nature let bad things in, and it was so slow and manipulative he didn’t even necessarily know, consciously, how bad it was, until Jimmy crashed the ship, got everyone killed, and fed him his own leg. 99.9% indeed.

[angeldustanalog]

dom who wants to do rapeplay but his sub is too much of a desperate whore to actually fight back so he has to make it non consensual by dosing the sweet little faggot with so much acid it can no longer pass the harkness test, then raping it with the time knife until its breath slows and it bleeds out into oblivion

[mlgrace]

i love (hate) when someone points out that child abuse, especially certain forms, are still normalised and overlooked by society as being necessary and harmless in the long term and beneficial despite numerous forms of empirical evidence suggesting otherwise says something like “uhm actually i got *abused in whatever way is mentioned* and i turned out fine”. people will literally say “yeah i have no actual definitive proof that the mistreatment i endured doesn’t impact my life today. and even if i did i’m still one person whose subjective opinion doesn’t negate decades of research with larger sample sizes. but you have to believe me. child abuse is fine actually. trust me”

[furiousgoldfish]

my parents: punishing and humiliating me under duress and torture for having any kind of reaction, for crying, for complaining, for getting angry, trying to fight back, breaking down or showing any kind of pain and fear

also my parents: increasingly annoyed when they can't easily get a reaction out of me and stooping to worse and more horrid provocations and violence to still be able to get a reaction

[wickjump]

grrr cross whump… grrrr making him suffer… grrrr giving him extreme amounts of injury and blood soaking his bones… grrr…

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

Imo Jason is “irredeemable” by default because I don’t see what he needs redemption from.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Reading the kind of messages a guy sent a girl before abusing her and killing her, makes me realize how manipulative he was with her, playing with her kindness, guilt/codependent issues and lack of healthy boundaries. She wanted their story to be over while he couldn't accept it.

It also throws me back to a guy I met once and that showed slightly similar manipulative behaviours with me. I was lucky enough to become aware of that in time and get away, build up a wall and leave him by putting myself first and not letting him control me. It breaks me she couldn't, nor could ask for help or talk about this with others who could have helped the guy while keeping a distance from him.

Please if you find yourself in a toxic and potentially dangerous situation like this, where someone tries to make you think they may do something bad and only you can save them (or even they try to control your every move and/or have you say/behave in certain ways to make them feel good), talk with someone who can help you and ask for help for this person too by contacting their family/friends. Remember it's not you they need, but to feel the power that comes from the control they have on you and the attention you keep giving them as you feel responsible for them (in reality you're not!! You're only responsible for yourself, you cannot save them from their own demons but you have to save yourself). It could be anyone else. So save yourself first and foremost, and if you can try to save the next person (this habit has no gender anyway) too by talking about this with their closest ones or a school psychologist or anyone really.

Please take care of you.

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

SUMMARY: A woman starts exhibiting increasingly disturbing behavior after asking her husband for a divorce. Suspicions of infidelity soon give way to something much more sinister.

This movie looks fucking nuts, so the mod can't wait to read your comments to see if it's worth watching!

[traumatizedjaguar]

what I don't think people understand is that abusers aren't a rare find. I had a lot of kids get involved in bullying me and some of those emotional abusers went as far as SA and most of them don't care to acknowledge they did this like it must be kept some secret now that were all adults, and so many got involved because it was like the new trending thing to bully me. when Amanda Todd got bullied - 15 kids showed up to beat her up or cheer on the people who were verbally abusing her in the halls because it was seen as a good thing to bully Amanda Todd, those kids all said "you deserve this" to her. the thing with bullying is its a mob mentality, kids are easily persuaded to get involved especially when the main abusers can present fabricated evidence or witnesses; bullies show up for bullies.

[vvictuss]

so im totally pro therapy but we should really talk about therapist abuse outside of inappropriate relationships/direct SA because the other stuff will supremely fuck you up too man. like this guy came into my life when i was a severely psychotic and vulnerable teen with a genuinely impaired grasp on reality and 4-5 years later he’s handing me a loaded handgun at a park. if i had known what to look out for, maybe it wouldn’t have gone so far and led to the more common types of therapist malpractice. maybe i could’ve spent those years actually healing instead of getting pulled into codependent insanity with him

fuck u allen you fuckibg creep weirdo. go to mormon hell. i wish the heart attack had booked you

[localfandom]

holy shit dude i just watched a playtrough of "bad parenting" and i havet been this crushed by a horror game since "my eyes deceive"

here's some things i noticed while watching the playtrough:

the doll being beaten up is foreshadowing of what happened with Ron(i think thats the son's name???)

the entire being of the doll reminds me of how Ron turned out because of his parents.

at the end of the game when Ron is teleported to the realm where all the kids are they all have special places like how Ron has the closet. Places where they died/were hid in.

i feel like the doll slamming the bottle up and down at the start of the game during that eating scene was foreshadowing of the father drinking.

this game is so well made and thought out and is genueinly soul crushing.