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At some point "fanfic can be as good as professional writing" became "fanfic should be as good as professional writing" and that's caused major damage to fandom spaces.

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source

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I went to the penis doctor and he said you were his favorite patient on account of all your rare and fascinating penis problems

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wait... you're thinking about gay sex and killing yourself again aren't you

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I really want to see a version of this that has a 3rd option for ppl who are asexual, specifically because there's no way it didn't skew the results just reading through the reblogs and replies. this is like asking 'Ice Cream Vs. Shaved Ice' and a third of the results are "I don't care about shaved ice but I'm voting for it because i'm allergic to dairy" and that's not what the question is really asking

personally, i voted no only because we’d be so toxic for each other. one of us would leave in a body bag

No "maybe" option. This is a yes or no thing. We're settling this once and for all

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unmoisturised. bothered. out of my lane. unfocused. decaying.

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ok, because i just saw a terrible take, i feel compelled to say that there is no "fic market" to "oversaturate" in fandom. good gravy.

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Midnight Sun Quote #3

- Chapter 1 Page 14

"I didn't want to be a monster! I didn't want to kill this roomful of harmless children!"

This delicious little morsel comes about during the scene where Bella first walks into their shared science class. Edward wants to go Saturn on Bella so bad that he's involving every potential witness!

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Midnight Sun Quote #5

- Chapter 10 Page 218

"Whatever force it was that wanted to hurt Bella would have to go through me. No, she had no guardian angel. But I would make up for the lack. A guardian vampire..."

BOY WHAT!?

This is too good. Stephanie Meyer may secretly be a comic.

I realized after posting this that I have a couple posts queued up, so this will be out of order. Oops

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“Mpreg birth out of your ass call that babyshitting”

~ @p0is0n-is-th3-cur3

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Someone on Tumblr came up with a headcanon where Cahara dies while taking care of the girl, and Ragnvaldr survives and goes on to look after Celeste and her unborn child I can’t find the original post, but it’s such a sweet idea. I’m definitely adopting that headcanon!😭😭

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Tiny old man lion!

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Magnus doodle

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Made a mouthwashing animation yayyy

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a list of fake tumblr stories i can sort of remember:

that one where some girl claimed people thought her car was the tardis, so she leapt out of it and looked at her boobs like “wow that’s a development” and ran off

 hipster blog vs. fandom blog in a starbucks

people singing “let it go” on a bus???

that student who looked into the security cameras in their school’s classroom whenever something stupid would happen and then the security guard thanked them personally

some guy fixing the lights in a store by holding up a sonic screwdriver

homestuck updates, a girl screams, the police come, one of the officers also reads homestuck, he starts freaking out, the other officer gives him a shock blanket

a girl has a joking argument with a police officer who’s a “mei main”

every time a waiter comes back to the table, they say a different supernatural/sherlock/dr. who pun, and the poster continues to fall out of their seat because they’re laughing so hard

someone catches someone on a bus says “i think you fell for me” and the entire bus applauds

a girl wants to buy a led zeppelin cd and the cashier wants her to buy a one direction cd then the manager comes out and yells at the cashier and thanks the girl for having awesome music tastes

boyfriend and girlfriend walk into store, girlfriend complaining that books are horrible, boyfriend breaks up with her

female student: *says something bitchy*                                                      nerd student: *calls her a slut*                                                                    teacher: *laughs*

girl says alohamora to open locked door, it opens, classmates cheer

AND MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE

i’m a fully grown adult woman and one time this girl came up to me in a store and screamed “DO YOU SHIP REYLO” and i said yes and she started yelling at me then her mom came over and yelled at her because the mom also shipped reylo and then the mom apologized to me and bought me a nutella crepe

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i need everyone to understand the poetry of curly turning a blind eye to anya’s suffering only to be robbed of his autonomy and voice as she was and then forced to observe jimmy’s crimes and the abuse of his own body