#mentions of food

[giggly-squiggily]

Weeee requestsssss is it okay if i request lee chifuyu and ler baji??

Oops this started out as a tickle fic and turned into a ship akjrkejakrjajke I gotcha, anon! Ahh, I love them so much!!! Lee!Chifuyu is so freaking cute (really- I just love Chifuyu) I hop you like it!

CW: Swearing

Cloud 9 (Taglist Peeps)

@myreygn, @duckymcdoorknob, @baby-tickles2022, @cupcake-spice13,

Baji was in a mood.

It wasn’t often he felt them- these sudden urges to cause mayhem amongst his friends. Perhaps it was the full moon? Maybe the planets were aligned? He didn’t know what it was, and usually didn’t question it.

What mattered was only one thing.

He was gonna get Chifuyu today.

~~~

“Peke-J, you got to move, I’m hungry.” Chifuyu looked down at the black cat sleeping peacefully in his lap, shoulders slumping his shoulders once he realized he was stuck. “Come on- can’t you let me up so I can get a snack? I’ll be right back.”

The cat only continued to purr, far too comfortable to acknowledge his owner’s current predicament.

“Eh…fine.” Defeated, Chifuyu pulled out his phone, texting Takemichi with his side quest for food. He’d pay him back once he got there.

Before he could even send it however, tragedy struck.

“GOTCHA!” Baji roared from behind, vaulting over the couch as he wrapped his arms around Chifuyu’s shoulders, sending them both tumbling sideways into the cushions. Peke-J; now awake and mildly irritated by his parent’s antics, stretched before wandering off.

“B-Baji! You ass, Peke-J was cuddling with me!” Chifuyu squirmed as Baji turned him on his back, easily grabbing his wrist when the blonde tried to punch him. “Get off!”

“No way.” Baji grinned a wolfish smile, sending shivers down Chifuyu’s back. “Chifuyu…you know what I’m gonna do to you?”

“Feed me?” Chifuyu asked, even when he felt Baji’s hand slip under his hoodie, pushing it up. Giggles were already climbing up his throat, and he flattened his lips to keep them there. “B-Bahahaji, please!”

“I’ll feed you later. For now, I’m gonna…TICKLE YOU!” Baji roared, sending both hands into Chifuyu’s bare stomach, ten fingers flying over the warm skin. Chifuyu shrieked, his body full spasming as bright, unobtainable laughter spilled past his lips. “Aww, look at you! I’ve barely touched you and you’re laughing like a baby! Does it tickle that bad?”

“Bahhahahhahahhaji, yohohohohohohu shihihihihihihihihithehhahhahhahahd!” Chifuyu squealed out, his hands trying in vain to tug down his hoodie and protect his belly. Baji only laughed, one hand keeping it up while the other carried on tracing random shapes and patterns against that awful soft spot towards his lower stomach. “Sthahahhahap ihiihihihit, you bihiihhiiihihiihtch!”

“Oo, someone’s got a potty mouth today! Are you hangry, Chifuyu? Do you want a snack?” Baji cooed, eyes glinting as he leaned down. “I got a good one right here…”

“Bahahhaji? Bahhhahaji, wahhaHAHHHAHAHHAHAIT!” Chifuyu all but screamed when Baji’s mouth pressed into his belly, blowing a massive raspberry against the center of his belly. Abandoning the hem of his hoodie, he tugged at Baji’s hair, trying to pull him off. “GEEHEHEHEHT! GEHEHEHHEHEHT BAHAHAHCK, YOU DOOHOHOHUCHE!”

“What? You said you were hungry- I’m just giving you raspberries!” Baji laughed against his stomach, bringing his hands back into the fray to taze Chifuyu’s sides, making him spazz about and shriek. “So mean today- you must be seriously hangry.” Baji winked before blowing another loud raspberry before sitting up, his hands working another bad spot beneath his lower ribs. “Okay, you don’t like fruit. How about short ribs?”

“GEHAHHAHAHA, BAHHAHAHHAJI PLEHAHAHHAHASE!” Chifuyu was a mess of laughter, face bright red and eyes squeezed shut. His hands blindly grabbed Baji's, managing to loop around his wrists, but nothing else. Every squeeze and poke zapped his strength, like he was halfway between falling asleep and staying awake. “COHOOOHOHME OHOHOHOHON-WAHAHHAHAIT!”

Baji did, to Chifuyu’s surprise, letting the blonde gasp for hair. His hands remained on Chifuyu’s lower ribs, tapping gently but not pressing in, still making him giggle. When he was no longer panting, Baji smiled. “Better?”

“Yeah-AH! Ahehahahahhahaha, oh yohoohoohohu jehehehehherk!” Chifuyu jumped when the hands at his ribs resumed their game, making him fall back into the couch. “Bahhahahahahaji!”

“Hmm…so it’s a no to fruit, and a no to short ribs..oh- you know what I recently heard about?” Baji grinned, his hand sweeping up to Chifuyu’s collar. “How about neck bones?”

“GAH!” Chifuyu squeaked, his laugh going silent as he curled into himself, feet kicking and shoulders up to his chin, hands balled into fists and tight against his chest. “BAHAHAJI!” He cried, the sound barely about a whispered squeak.

“Hehe, okay- I’m done for real now.” Baji pulled his hands back, watching Chifuyu collapse against the cushions, breathless and panting. “Wow, you’re so-”

Just then, the front door opened.

“Chifuyu? Hey- I got your text.” Takemichi walked in, a convenient store bag in hand. “They weren’t selling Pork Buns unfortunately, so I got you some Onigiri-” He froze when he saw the pair, eyes widening and cheeks flushing.

Admittedly- it was quite the sight. Chifuyu- red faced and breathless- lying against the couch; his hoodie pushed up all the way up his chest. Baji, who was sitting on him, hands against his belly and halfway leaning down over said blonde. Both their faces were wide eyed in shock, not expecting Takemichi to arrive.

Guess the text went through after all.

“Eh…right- I’ll um…I’ll leave this here.” Takemichi put the bag on the table, avoiding eye contact. His ears were bright red as he made his way back to the door. “You can pay me back later. Bye guys…and erm, congratulations.” He shut the door quietly on his way out.

Silence. Chifuyu felt like his face could melt. Baji looked unreadable.

“Well, shit. Takemitchy thinks we’re gay.” Baji declared.

“Oh god.” Chifuyu covered his face with his sleeves, dread curling in his belly. “Oh my god, oh my god he’s gonna tell everyone.”

“He probably will.”

“They’ll think we’re gay!”

“They probably already do.”

“What do we do?”

“Make it a reality?”

Chifuyu froze, peeking through his fingers. Through his shock and embarrassment, he felt his heartbeat race. “H-Huh?”

Baji looked at him patiently, his expression easy. “I said what I said. Let’s make it a reality.” He smirked, waggling his eyebrows. “I’m down if you are.”

“Are you…confessing?” Chifuyu asked.

“Maybe I am.” Baji reached out, tugging his hands away from his face with effortless motions. “Maybe I’ve liked you since the first time I’ve met you. Maybe I’ve been wanting to make this thing official since you told me we’d co-parent Peke-J.” He let his hands slide up until they were holding Chifuyu’s. It was then did the blonde realize he was nervous. He could feel his pulse and how hard Baji’s heart was beating. “Whatcha gonna say about that?”

“I…” Chifuyu blinked, his heart rattling in his chest. Was this really happening? Taking a breath, he raised his chin. “I wanna hear you say it.”

“I just did.” Baji replied.

“No. No maybes. Say it with your full chest.” He needed to know it was real.

Baji laughed softly, a slight tremor in the sound. “Fair enough…Chifuyu, I like you. Alot.” Baji looked him in the eyes- only genuine honesty could be found within. “I’ve liked you since we first met, and I’ve liked you since after. I can’t say when it was exactly that I…caught feelings.” Baji blushed- a rare sight. “But I mean it when I say it. I want to make this real. So…what do you say?”

Chifuyu felt his eyes mist up, and he flattened his lips to fight back the tears. “I say…I’m really happy right now.” He breathed, making Baji suck in a short breath. “I’m so happy, cause I feel the same way.”

The way his expression lit up, like Chifuyu was some sort of sacred treasure Baji had been looking for all his life- Chifuyu took that expression and tucked it deep within his chest, letting it warm him from within. “Hey…can I kiss you?” He whispered, and Chifuyu nodded, mouthing an equally soft “Yes.”

Baji leaned in and-

“Meow…” Peke-J leaped up just before their lip connected, squeezing himself between them and getting comfy on Chifuyu's chest. Baji shot back, spitting out cat hair. 

“You freaking cock-blocker of a cat-” Baji began, stopping when Chifuyu laughed.

“Pfft-ahehahhahaha! Dihiihd you just cahhahall him thahahhat?” He wheezed, the sound melting away any irritation Baji may have had for the animal and replacing it with bubbly mirth of his own. He broke out into soft chuckles, the sound growing the harder Chifuyu laughed.

“I did! Look at him- he knows what he did too!” Baji pointed, Peke-J peering up at him rather pleased. Chifuyu hooted, fanning his face.

“Gohohohod- oh god, my behehhelly!” He cried, shaking his head as his giggles died down to a soft titter. “Oh yeah…I forgot I was hungry.”

“I’ll grab one of the snacks.” Baji stood, not before walking around the couch, leaning down so he was leveled with Chifuyu. Leaning in, he pressed a quick peck to his smiling lips, finally getting his kiss. “Stay here.”

Chifuyu reached up to touch his tingling lips, watching Baji as he gathered Takemitchi’s gift.

He could get used to this.

Thanks for reading!

[rieson]

drinking milo while eating small donuts my parents brought back home... the first positive thing that has occured so far 

[prokopetz]

The real reason your sapient dragon character needs a "rider":

Dragons on the wing are vulnerable to being mobbed by smaller, more agile flyers, particularly in your large rear blind spot, like a bird of prey being mobbed by crows. Having a human armed with a long spear perched on your back helps to dissuade anyone from getting any funny ideas.

Breath weapons are impressive enough on the ground, but in flight they're really only good for strafing stationary targets; trying to use your breath weapon in an aerial dogfight is a good way to get fire up your nose. A real fight calls for sterner measures – and, concomitantly, a crew to aim and reload the cannons.

In today's competitive world, it's not enough to devour a flock of sheep and call it a day if you want to keep your edge. You're accompanied at all times by a qualified personal alchemist tasked with carefully regulating your internal furnace to ensure peak performance, and sometimes you even listen to them.

No dragon of any quality would be caught dead without their valet. It's not as though you can announce your numerous long-winded titles yourself when introductions are called for, can you? You suppose next you'll be expected to pick up the spoils of your conquests yourself, like a common brigand. Perish the thought!

[writing-is-a-martial-art]

You meet god and she's mostly dead fish. You ask her why and she says most of the world is dead fish, and she's made herself to appeal to the most common denominator, the everyman funnyman comedy show that runs for eleven seasons but with the entire universe in mind. You ask her how much of the dead fish is your fault, she says it's far less than you'd think, in the grand scheme of things. You ask her if you matter at all. If you can do anything. She shrugs her rotting shoulders and says mattering is a made-up concept, like life, but sure, you can matter if you want to, on some scale. She has many scales. She doesn't know what you mean by 'anything', but you can do everything you can. You ask her if it's enough. She says there's no base requirement for deserving to exist. She's smoking a joint and the smoke filtering out of her gills gathers and forms gas giants and red dwarfs. You ask her if there's any hidden secrets of the universe you should know and she says it's not a secret if she tells, plus it's fun to let you figure it out yourself. You ask her if any of your questions were right questions and she says you worry about being right so much it might keep you from fucking around, which is as close to meaning of life as she ever bothered to make. You don't ask but she says she loves your hair, also your whole being, also your planet. She says she figured out what love is yesterday and is trying it out, which explains the ten thousand rainbows and sudden influx in rains of fish. She offers you a drag of her joint and you wake up half past midnight behind a chain restaurant clutching a smoked salmon. The new stars are winking like they're in on some joke and you're sure if you try hard enough you'll remember what it is.

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce is constantly asking the kids what they like to eat so he can freeze dry their favorites into oblivion as apocalypse rations

[catfindr]

[thebibliosphere]

Hey guys so I followed that Minecraft recipe like you said and you’re right!

You can make stackable soup blocks!

[bobbabubblez]

Your ED is still valid:

• never got hospitalized

• never experienced medical complications

• never cried while eating

• looked forward to eating

• never exercised

• still ate “unhealthy food”

[idiopathicsmile]

the prominence of AI in art and writing right now actually has a lot in common with the old WASPy 1950s cooking trends we now all scoff at, specifically the over-reliance on what is perceived as high-tech and futuristic, the belief that anything that comes "from science" must inherently have value and be superior to the more organic older methods, the leveraging of a supply chain that is all geared up to destroy the earth, and also an end result so uncanny it is bordering on surreal.

what gets called AI today truly is the shrimp jello of tomorrow.

[bixels]

“America has no culture” is an inherently racist statement. Especially when talking about California, which has enormous populations (yes, plural) of Hispanic and Asian immigrants.

It’s such a self report that you see the American hegemony, the American monolith, as a singularly white entity that’s worthy of scorn. I want that person to look at the Black American NYC Miku design and tell me with their full chest that that isn’t culture. Especially when modern pop culture owes so much to Black American culture — hip hop, language, streetwear and fashion, pop music, jazz — as is actively erasing their roots, saying all of America has no culture is a dumbass statement.

Also, “all the US Mikus are dressed in generic casual street style for coolish weather.” The original Brazilian Miku is wearing sunglasses, a crop top, short shorts, a bikini, and flip flops you absolute dunce. If you’re gonna be rude at least be consistent.

[sleepymccoy]

This is also a bit of a culture query, cos these are all in my house so I genuinely cook with these all (except chicken salt, that's been in my cupboard for ages)

But I'm not from the USA and most people here are, so I wonder if that's similar! Maybe your cupboard is identical to mine. Maybe we use the same stuff but call it something else. Maybe USA has a different relationship with pre mix spices and you use none of it. Maybe you've never heard of pre mix spices. I dunno. That's why I'm asking!

I use plain herbs and spices as well. Especially when making a complex meal I'll do it myself. But I use pre mixes other times, so I'm voting. Voting for a pre mix doesn't mean you don't also use paprika! If you genuinely have no pre mixes in the kitchen tho, then hell yeah, tell me!

Also, I know I haven't listed everything in the world. One, that's impossible. Two, this is a bit of a culture thing so I just checked my kitchen and used those. This selection is representative of me only

(you don't have to be from the USA to vote, obvs, we just all know that's how the results will end up. Please tell me about your spice mixes in other countries!!)

Morrison spice blend: Pepper, tumeric, ginger, cardamom, parsley, salt

Chinese five spice: Star anise, cinnamon, clove, fennel, Sichuan pepper

Chicken salt: Salt, chicken stock, garlic, paprika, pepper, onion, celery

Gluhwein gewurz: Orange peel, cinnamon, lemon peel, star anise, hibiscus, clove

Chimichurri: parsley, garlic, oregano, vinegar, chilli, salt, pepper

Za'atar: thyme, cumin, coriander, sesame seeds, sumac, salt, chilli

Garam masala: coriander, cumin, cardamom, cloves, pepper, cinnamon, nutmeg

[bluerosefox]

Always Favors You

Another Sibling Danny and Jason idea!!

"Are you Jason Peter Todd?!" demanded a deep and commanding tone from the strange glowing being in front of them.

All the Bats stiffened and tensed, no doubt gearing up for a fight against the being that somehow knew Red Hood's full name.

Jason, Red Hood, decided to put on a brave front despite no doubt cursing in his head and wondering how the heck did this thing know his full freaking name.

"Whose asking." he snarled out, his hands twitching for his gun when the huge glowing knight with purple flames coming out of his helmet and cape, who was riding on a nightmare looking horse while they all had been in the cave going over tonight's patrol.

The Knight didn't seemed bothered by his response nor did he even seem to care or flinch when Batman made his own demand on 'Why was he there and who was he' or when Damian unsheathed his sword and pointed it towards him. Instead the strange glowing Knight reached to it side and pulled out... A glowing scroll? Huh. (Also he completely unnerved everyone in the room when the Knight didn't even react when Batman had tossed a Baterang when he reached for his side)

The Knight opened the scroll and spoke clearly with purpose.

"Jason Peter Todd,

You are hereby invited as a special guest of honor to the crowning of our future King of the Infinite Realms.

Daniel Phantom, once Daniel Jackson Fenton, and once Daniel Austen Todd.

Prince of the Infinite Realms, the Keeper of Balance, The Peacekeeping Halfa, the Defeater of the Tyrant King Pariah Dark, The Great One, Youngest of the Ancients, Ancient of Space, The Bridge between Life and Death.

You, the half-brother of our King, have been given the highest of honors for your past actions and will be given housing and food in the Realms and Phantom's Keep, for the week long event. Personal servants and attendants will be at your disposal and a seamstress will be on hand to tailor make your attire for the Coronation.

Signed: Clockwork. Ancient of Time. Watcher of the Infinite Timeline. Kronos. Mentor and Adviser.

PS: I shall have Fright Knight ("Me" the Knight bluntly said for a second) leave this scroll along with a personal one for you from Daniel to read over and once you make up your mind sign the bottom of the scroll.

I do hope in time you will pick the right choice Jason Todd, we of the Infinite Realms would like to reward you for your actions. After all, if you hadn't gotten young Daniel away from your father that night all those years ago, we would never had gained our Prince nor be free from our once Tyrant King.

Ah, one more thing.

The Infinite Realms will always favor you Jason."

Jason felt like he couldn't breath as Fright Knight? Rolled up the scroll, pulled a letter from his side, and held out the two items for him to take.

[prokopetz]

Anybody who says cats only play along with human nonsense in order to obtain food has never seen a hungry cat completely ignore a full bowl of food in favour of giving you shit because you did not correctly perform the Dinner Ritual.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael Afton has bad eating habits in FNAF

[incorrectbatfam]

Has Bruce ever packed the kids lunch when Alfred wasn't there? How'd it go?

[Wayne Enterprises]

Tim: Finally, time for my break.

Tim: *opens his mini fridge*

*dozens of apples fall out*

———————

[the library]

Steph: *chugs a gallon of milk*

Cass: *bites into a bread loaf*

Barbara: I'm not even gonna ask.

———————

[day patrol]

Duke: *opens his lunchbox*

Duke: *sighs*

Duke: *pulls out his bat-skillet*

Duke: *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg—*

———————

[West-Reeve Middle School]

Damian: Kent, I will trade you your cupcake for this head of lettuce.

Jon: ...

Jon: Deal.

———————

[Bludhaven]

Jason: Bruce packed our lunches. He said we're supposed to share.

Jason: *hands him a bag*

Dick: What'd you get?

Jason: A frozen turkey. You?

Dick: *opens it*

*fire alarm goes off*