#mental awareness month

[paisholotus]

It's mental health awareness month. To people that's been suffering and struggling, I'm glad you're here. Keep going 🫶🏾⚘️

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[4threset]

Happy Autism Awareness Month! I AM SO TIRED OF BEING AUTISTIC!`

[gildedoak]

Episode 7: Beignets!

I rewatched S2E2 of Helluva Boss ("Seeing Stars") and got hit with that BANGER of a line from Loona about dads having issues and messing up all the time but still caring. VIVZIE, I am sensing a THEMEEEEEEE.

And thank you for all the lovely comments thus far! I'm so tickled to see how many folks connect with this, whether you're from the American South or not. Food is such a core love language for so many people.

SOUTHERN COMFORT FOOD SERIES Chicken and Waffles Sweet Tea Peach Cobbler Hushpuppies Crab/Crawfish Boil Gumbo (plus character notes!) Beignets part 2 Shrimp and Grits Cornbread Biscuits and Gravy Pecan Pie/Sugar Pie Fried Catfish ??? - Season 1 Finale

Description under the cut!

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Radioapple comic

PANEL 1: (Lucifer sits atop a barstool-like chair on his balcony at the hotel. He's curled up in on himself, quietly crying with his head in his arms as he slumps over the marble balustrade and his tail curled around his ankles.)

PANEL 2: (Alastor gently sets a large platter of fresh beignets next to Lucifer's arm, and Lucifer glances up, looking miserable.) Alastor: (offscreen) You're not a bad father, you know.

PANEL 3: (Alastor strikes a jazz-hands pose as a canned laugh track emanates from his cane.) Alastor: Granted, YES you did fail spectacularly! You fail A LOT. But...

PANEL 4: (Closeup of the lower half of Lucifer's face as more tears fall down his cheeks.) Alastor: (offscreen) ...you're consistently, SINCERELY trying. And that is incredibly important.

PANEL 5: (closeup of Alastor's right eye in profile) Alastor: It's certainly more than my father ever did.

PANEL 6: (Alastor reaches over and places a hand on Lucifer's, which is still clutching at his upper arm. Though we can't see Lucifer's face, he's sitting a little straighter, looking up at Alastor.) Alastor: (offscreen) Or yours, for that matter.

END DESCRIPTION]

[existennialmemes]

Sorry, my prefrontal cortex is running on a dial up modem from 1996. It works very slowly, and if you interrupt it, it just screams and cancels the task it was working on in rage and horror.

[trracstudy]

Hi there! My name is Bri Pastro and I’m a queer doctoral candidate in Clinical Psychology at Fordham University. I’m a part of a research team collaborating with University of Maine to investigate mental health in rural vs. urban teenagers! 

Our study is regarding risk & resilience related to mental health in adolescents. We’re particularly interested in online and interpersonal interactions and how these factor into mental health. Participating includes completing a 25 minute online survey.

In order to participate in this study participants must: Be 15-18 years old, be comfortable reading and speaking English, and live in a rural community OR an urban community in the United States.

If you are interested in participating in the study, please click on the link below. Participants who complete the study will be entered into a raffle to win one of 20, $25 Amazon gift cards. 

If you know someone who may be interested, please send them this link!

Thank you for helping me with my doctoral research! Participation is completely voluntary, and participants may end the study at any time. All data is confidential. This study was approved by the Fordham University and University of Maine Institutional Review Boards.

We hope that this research helps us better understand experiences for adolescents across the United States. Please reach out to us at trracstudy@gmail.com with any questions. We are closing recruitment at the end of the month and are putting one last push to get more participants! Please repost as you can :)

[clovelie]

i hate living with the constant push-and-pull of wanting love but yet pushing everyone away because i think everyone who tries to get close to me will abandon me.

[spiderliliez]

When your whimsical brain just takes control! ADHD & ELLA PURNELL Interview by IGV Presents

[+] ELLA PURNELL [GIF Collection] ✨ [+] ..more on “ADHD” 🧠🦋

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Autistic Self Care

Saying no

Stimming

Researching new interests

Sensory safe clothing

Rewatching/relistening to the same song/movie

Setting boundaries

Alone time

Info dumping

Resting

Safe place

Engaging in special interests

Littlepuddins.ie

[echo-stimmingrose]

This is your friendly reminder that just because lgbtqia+ pride month is over does not mean pride has stopped!

Happy disability pride month to all my fellow disabled people!

Another friendly reminder that yes, we have a flag! (Something I didn't even know until last year and I've been disabled my whole life)

Big companies will not sell products with this flag on it, there won't be parades, it won't be talked about on national television, nor will this flag be displayed in many places if at all; but we're still here and in many many places disabled people are still fighting for rights only abled people have. Our pride is important.

This month is for both physical disabilities AND mental disabilities, don't forget that

Happy disability pride 💚💚💚

[nightmareevara]

Nothing's hoter than a man who's emotionally available and isn't afraid to show his vulnerable side so don't be embarrassed to show your emotions.

[wetheurban]

Instead of ‘man up,’ speak up.

Instead of ‘stay strong,’ stay honest.

Instead of 'toughen up,' soften your heart.

Instead of ‘men don't cry,' embrace your tears.

Instead of 'push through pain,' take time to heal.

Instead of 'men must be stoic,' show your feelings.

Instead of ‘always be the provider,' practice self-care.

Instead of 'emotions are for women,' own your emotions.

Instead of 'men don't need therapy,' prioritize your mental health.

[elodieunderglass]

Do you have more Moby Dick: Modern Translation chapters anywhere that certain interested parties (me and everyone with taste) could read?

In reference to this translation of Moby Dick into insufferable modern idiom, in which Ishmael is suddenly shown up in a startling light as a person we’ve actually met and knew well but didn’t really like:

I’m sorry, I haven’t written any more of that! After chapter 1’s mad rush of energy, the book tackles more tricky, boring and unfunny content, including passages that are just uncomfortably problematic in any time; and, like, entire chapters about listening to a church sermon.

A line translation (and that is mostly a very faithful line translation! The only thing I regret not doing was perfectly capturing the fart joke!) apparently has a lot of educational value, and helps to reframe the whole novel. That’s worthy work! But i simply wouldn’t want to do a line translation on the next few chapters. My brain is picking daisies instead, already. I would say: “sorry, I’m abridging this for my own mental health. You’re eligible for a free refund.” In which case the educational value is negligible (you can just read the plot summary online. There’s a really big whale in it.)

Anyone else who wants to take a stab at it (FROM HELL’S HEART) would be welcome and I’ll gladly promote your efforts. It’s just. I am going

🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼

- come here let me measure your head

[ghostbsuter]

Can be read as a continuation of this

.・゜-: ✧ :-

It's been a few weeks, really, since the day he met his biological father.

The oversized hoodie drowned him, a perfect haven while he waits near the entrance to arkham asylum.

The whole week rushed by after the event. His mom, wonderful, black belt, kickass mom had fretted over him the whole time, messaging his therapist not long after and getting an appointment.

His dad had been clingy, giving him bear hugs left and right, it felt nice. Jazz hadn't let him out of her sight for one moment, always searching, always studying.

Man, he loved his family.

"Are you going to visit him?" The gruff voice of Batman asks, and danny shrieks, jumping away as he looks at the vigilante with wide eyes.

"Oh Ancients—! Don't scare me like that!" Danny scolds, hand over his chest and breathing hard.

He can feel the amusement wafting off of Batman. Or something.

Huffing, the child leans against the brickstone pillar holding the gate again.

"No," he ends up answering. "I'm not here to visit... him."

Batman listens quietly, simply standing next to him. He doesn't pressure nor demand anything. If danny thinks more of it, he might get a headache.

"My sister is an intern in Arkham, we're gonna have dinner with Harley and Ivy today." A shrug, and the wind lovingly pushes him.

"Good." The man states, he hesitates a moment before he stretches his arm out towards danny, opening his hand and showcasing the items.

First is a lollipop, famous for being handed over to children after being saved by the bat himself. Second is a pin, in the shape of Batman's signature bat, it had a red button on the other side however.

"It's an emergency alert, in case anything like this happens again." Is quickly explained and Danny takes them, if not a bit tense.

He is unused to the trust the man shows him despite how short their time was spent together. Danny wonders if the bat already snooped around.

"Thanks—"

"Danny!"

His head snaps to the gate opening, brightening up as Jazz runs through and hugs him.

"Jazz!" He eagerly hugs back, thank looks up at her.

"You gotta meet Bat—" He trails off when they turn to the empty spot next to the pair, wind rustling leaves just as he finished. "man..."

Damn batman.

Danny huffs and tugs at Jazz's jacket. "Nevermind then, c'mon let's get a nice present before we visit harley."

Simply bringing her up seems to have Jazz excited. "I still can't believe we're having dinner with THE Dr. Harleen Quinzel!!!"

"And her wife."

"aND THE Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley!!!"

Her enthusiasm is rubbing off on him, he grins, hooking up his arm around hers, and they're skipping towards town, laughing like maniacs.

[faelingmagic]

Today’s character is Entrapta from Shera and the Princesses of Power!

As I am autistic myself, I also wanted to do something for Autism Awareness Month and Entrapta was my favourite autistic character to do that! 💕

She’s also a great choice because she relates to me a lot with my autism. Entrapta had trouble with friendships and social cues and sometimes no social filter at all, but she did care for them despite the different way she would show it. It can be hard to sometimes realize these things but doesn’t mean we can’t learn them.

Even if you don’t understand things that most people would, that is totally okay! We are all built and learn differently, everyone is completely unique and beautiful in their own special way. Let your differences in yourself become your super power! 💕✨

If there’s any autistic characters you’d like to see this month or in general, let me know!

[dez-ku]

It's BPD (borderline personality disorder) & Mental Health Awareness Month! 🖤💚

I just wanted to share this and let people know 🫶💕💕

Old art of my sober journey!

I was able to reach 5 months (and 12 days) sober after so long! 😁😁💕 So I'm genuinely really proud of myself 💕